Passions Transcript Tuesday 5/30/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Tuesday 5/30/06--Canada; Wednesday 5/31/06--USA
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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Jodi

Tabitha: Thanks to Siren, there are some very rough seas ahead for our Kay. How will Fox's fiancée explain sneaking off with her first love, mouthwatering Miguel? Hmm.

Kay: Fox. What are you doing here?

Fox: That's not the question, Kay. The question is, what are you doing here with Miguel?

Fox: Aren't you supposed to be at home with Maria right now?

Kay: Well, she was sleeping when I left, and if she wakes up, Tabitha will be happy to give her breakfast.

Siren: You didn't answer Fox's question, Kay. What are you doing here with Miguel?

Kay: Well, I could answer Fox's question, Siren, if you'd stop interrupting me.

Siren: Is Miguel part of your answer, Kay?

Kay: Hmm. So much for not interrupting.

Fox: I think it's a fair question.

Miguel: Look, Fox and Siren, both you guys relax, ok? I can explain everything.

Kay: You can?

Paloma: How long have we been looking for Jessica?

Simone: Too long. She was right behind us when we got out of the carriage to she sights.

Paloma: And next thing we knew she was gone.

Simone: Do you think those guys who were after us grabbed her?

Paloma: Maybe, but whatever happened to Jessica can't be good.

Noah: Simone, Paloma. Hey, you guys, what part of "don't leave the hotel" didn't you understand? Your lives are in danger, ok? You can't be out here playing tourist.

Simone: We're sorry.

Paloma: We knew better.

Noah: Yeah, but your sense of adventure overtook your common sense?

Simone: Pretty much, yeah.

Noah: Well, at least you're honest about it. All right, let's get out of here before anything terrible happens. Where's Jess?

Paloma: We don't know.

Noah: What?

Simone: We took a carriage ride to see the city and the driver suggested that we stop here to see the sights.

Paloma: And Jessica was right behind us, and when we started to look around, all of a sudden she was gone.

Simone: We don't know what happened to Jessica.

Jessica: Ok. Ok, Spike -- Spike! I know you're -- I know you're angry I snuck out on you back in Harmony, but I can't have sex with strange men anymore.

Spike: Oh, well, sweetheart, now, that was your choice.

Jessica: Oh!

Spike: Now, this... is mine.

Jessica: What do you mean?

Spike: Step on it.

Jessica: No.

Spike: Jess can't be late for her date with destiny.

Jessica: No! No.

Whitney: What am I doing here? I thought God brought me to Rome to save the Pope and the church from evil. But it turns out it wasn't God at all, it was a monk saying that he speaks for God. I'm starting to wonder if even that's true. I mean, this monk has me practicing breaking into the Vatican to steal a special chalice, and -- and then I find Chad and Luis buried under a pile of rubble and the monk just wants me to leave them there to die. He couldn't possibly speak for God. I wonder if he's even a monk at all. I mean, maybe this whole thing is just someone's idea of a sick joke.

Man: Right you are, my dear. But as sick as this joke is, the punch line is even sicker. [Man laughs]

Luis: Yes, Beth was here at the hotel. She almost killed Fancy Crane. I mean, you guys at Interpol, you really need to start getting on top of things. No, I am telling you that Beth would nuke the city of Rome if she thought that she could kill Fancy, along with everyone in it! Thank you. Thanks for nothing.

Fancy: I'm sorry, Luis. You would still have Beth under wraps if you hadn't had to let her go when I fainted.

Luis: Hey, would you stop that? I told you it is not your fault, ok? Besides, I am sure that Beth will be back. I mean, she's obsessed with killing you now that she thinks we're lovers. Huh, how crazy is that?

Fancy: Hmm.

{Luis: It's you.

Fancy: Yes, Luis, it's --

Luis: Oh, my God, you came for me. }

Fancy: It's farfetched, all right. You're in love with my Aunt Sheridan...even though she's married to Chris and having his baby.

Luis: Yeah. You know, I should probably call her and tell her everything that's -- that's gone on. It is still early in Harmony. Maybe -- maybe I'll wait.

Fancy: Yeah, I would.

Luis: Yeah. How's your head? Are you feeling all right?

Fancy: Yeah. Besides being tired, I'm fine.

Luis: Yeah. I'm pretty beat myself. Look, why don't you get some rest. I'm going to catch some z's in the other room. I am not leaving you alone, at least not till Beth's in custody.

Fancy: Thanks, Luis. I'll feel safe knowing you're here.

Fancy: Oh, um, sweet dreams, Luis.

Luis: You, too, Fancy. Sleep well.

Fancy: I will sleep well now that you're here.

Beth: I won't make the same mistake with Fancy that I made with Sheridan. I will kill that damn blond before she can lure Luis away from me.

Tabitha: Well, it looks like Siren's overplayed her fin by going after Kay in front of Miguel. "Uh-oh" is right when it comes --

Endora: Uh-oh.

Tabitha: Yes, when it comes to your planned Miguel-Siren match up, Endora. The boys below must be pleased as pumice to see Miguel leaping to Kay's defense. You know, bod boy's love for Kay could be winning out over Siren's mesmerizing ways.

Endora: Oh!

Tabitha: Yes!

Endora: Oh!

Tabitha: Well, I'm not saying it is. All I know is Miguel better come up with a good explanation why he and Kay were out so early together this morning. Right. Hmm.

Fox: So tell us, Miguel, what are you and Kay doing out here together so early?

Miguel: Kay had a great idea about the perfume ad campaign and she wanted to come down and check it out.

Kay: I -- I did.

Fox: Oh? What's the idea?

Siren: Don't be modest, Kay. Tell us.

Miguel: Look, Kay thought it'd be a great idea to do the next photo shoot on a boat, so she came down and took a look at all the boats and talked to the captains, see what they were renting them for and see how much insurance we need -- you know, stuff like that.

Kay: Yeah, yeah, and one of the captains almost agreed to do it, and then he changed his mind and then -- and then it hit me! Why not do the photo shoot right here on the boathouse? It's a progression so, you know, first we shot it on the beach, and then we'll shoot it here at the boathouse, and then sometime soon we'll do it out on the high seas!

Siren: Really, Kay?

Kay: You believe Miguel, don't you, Siren?

Noah: So you each made a wish in the fountain, and then what?

Paloma: A horse-drawn carriage showed up.

Noah: What, just like that? That sounds a little suspicious.

Simone: You're right, it does.

Paloma: Yeah, but anyway, we told the driver that we wanted to see Rome, so he drove us around, and then he stopped not too far from here.

Noah: Did Jess seem upset when you guys were riding around?

Paloma: No, no, she was glad. She finally realized that Spike was only using her.

Simone: Getting her high so she could turn tricks repulsed Jessica, so she was determined not to ever let Spike touch her again.

Paloma: Yeah, and then we realized she was gone.

Simone: And the carriage was gone, too.

Noah: Look, I think you guys were set up by the carriage driver or someone he works for. So which way did the carriage go the last time you saw it? All right.

Spike: Yo, paisan, keep the pedal to the medal. I have to deliver the merchandise on time. F.Y.I., baby -- that's you.

Jessica: Let me go!

Spike: Oh! Come here, wildcat!

Jessica: No!

Spike: Oh, you like it that, huh? Come here!

Jessica: No!

Spike: You could not get away from me in Harmony, and you sure as hell can't get away from me here! You got it, baby?

Beth: [Whispering] We'd be sleeping together by now if stupid, blond bimbos didn't keep getting in our way.

Beth: No one's going to save you this time, Fancy. You're in a deep sleep, headed for a... dirt nap. Huh.

Fox: You really came out here this early to check on a photo shoot?

Kay: Yeah. Yeah, I had been thinking about how comfortable Miguel and Siren looked on the beach, so I thought, you know, why not keep the whole nautical theme going?

Siren's voice: Liar.

Siren: Well, I can't wait to hear the details, Kay.

Kay's voice: Damn it. Siren's like a shark with a surfer. She won't let go.

Kay: I haven't figured out all the details yet, Siren, just the concept, but I think linking the perfume and the sea -- it's definitely the way to go for the next shoot.

Siren: What do you think, Fox?

Fox: I love it. I love you.

Kay: [Whispering] Thank you.

Noah: Jessica! Jessica, can you hear me? Damn it!

Paloma: Any luck?

Noah: No.

Simone: I'm afraid something really bad happened to Jess.

Paloma: Si, yo tambien. But why Jessica?

Noah: I think it has something to do with her tattoo.

Simone: Why do you think that?

Noah: Jessica's tattoo is the same as the symbol on the painting those guys were willing to kill you over. Jessica got the tattoo back in Harmony and you guys got the paintings from Rome, and this is more than just a coincidence, right? It has to mean something, something big.

Paloma: Si. We were thinking the same thing.

Noah: Yeah, I think someone grabbed Jessica because of her tattoo.

Simone: Probably the carriage driver.

Paloma: Si, but where would he take her? Rome is so old, there must be a million places to hide.

Noah: The catacombs.

Paloma: Que?

Simone: Why?

Noah: I saw that same symbol down there with Fancy when we found Luis and Chad.

Simone: And Whitney was down there, too.

Noah: Look, we got to get down there if we're going to find Jess. This all has to be linked somehow. Come on, let's go.

Jessica: Oh!

Spike: Oh, come on. Come on!

Jessica: Stop it! Help! Somebody help me!

Spike: Hey! I'm really sorry, Jess --

Jessica: No!

Spike: But everyone is gone on biscotti break, so shut up, ok?! Now, listen, you help me get her to the door and then you get that van out of sight, all right?

Jessica: Help!

Spike: Hold on, baby! We don't want you to be late for your appointment, ok?

Jessica: No, no! Help!

Whitney: If I was gullible enough to believe that that monk was God, what else did I fall for? Everything, probably. Planning to steal a special chalice to save the Holy Father and the church? Yeah, right. And this disguise? I mean, what's up with this disguise, since I'm underground living like the mole people. I -- I was such an idiot to believe that I was actually doing God's work. Well, no more. I'm out of here.

Man: You're not going anywhere.

Beth: Soon, Luis. As soon as I kill Fancy.

Beth: Sweet dreams, bitch.

Tabitha: I want you to come and have a look at this troubled trio, plus one. Yeah, you can see how complicated things get where couples are concerned. It's a polynomial equation with so many variables that Einstein himself wouldn't be able to solve it. Make a note, Endora. Love equals the square root of need, times desire --

Endora: Ah!

Tabitha: Plus romance --

Endora: No!

Tabitha: Minus security, divided by hormones.

Endora: No!

Tabitha: Lusty hormones cubed.

Endora: No!

Tabitha: Hmm. Now, if we could just get Miguel away from Siren. We have to get Miguel away from Siren.

Endora: No!

Tabitha: Our bosses want Kay and Miguel to be together, and if we don't deliver, we'll be dispatched.

Miguel: I'm going to get back to work.

Kay: Well, I'm glad you liked my idea for the nautical photo shoot.

Fox: It's fantastic, but why didn't you wake me up to tell me about it?

Siren: Yeah, Kay, why didn't you mention it before?

Kay: Well, I just, you know, wanted to think it through first, make sure it was feasible before I suggested it.

Fox: Not only is it feasible, this is the perfect time of the year to shoot it. We need to get started on this right away.

Kay: Yes, Mr. Crane.

Fox: See, Siren? I told you there was nothing to worry about.

Kay: What exactly were you worried about?

Man: You cannot go home to Harmony, Whitney. Your work here is far from finished.

Whitney: I'm not listening to you anymore.

Man: I am the voice of God!

Whitney: I don't think you are. You see, God is love, and you? You're just mean. I mean, you had me leave Chad and Luis in that pile of rubble to die.

Man: Small sacrifice for the billions of lives that you have been called on to save.

Whitney: By stealing a special chalice from the Pope to give to you? It sounds to me like illegal trafficking in religious relics than saving the world.

Man: You need not understand God's mission. You just need to carry it out.

Whitney: Ok, fine. Just find yourself another patsy, because I'm leaving.

Man: You are not leaving until you have done what you were brought here to do!

Jessica: No!

Man: You sure you can handle the girl?

Spike: Look, I just need to get her in the pit, down to the catacomb, ok?

Man: Ok.

Spike: Yeah, do it then, go!

Jessica: No!

Spike: You feisty girl.

Noah: Hey, hey! Get your hands off my sister!

Spike: It's you, huh? Listen, you mess with me this time, I will kill her.

Noah: All right.

Spike: Then I'll kill you, buddy.

Noah: Just hand her over!

Spike: No, not going to happen, pal.

Fancy: Oh, my God, it's you! Luis! [Muffled screams]

Beth: No one can save you now. You are mine, and you are dead! [Fancy coughs]

Beth: Die, you blond. Die!

Fancy: Luis?

Fancy: Luis? Luis? [Fancy cries]

Luis: Fancy? Fancy? Hey, Fancy, wake up. Hey, you're just having a nightmare. Fancy?

Fancy: Oh!

Luis: Whoa.

Fancy: Beth -- oh, my God, she was here! She came in! She was stabbing me and -- oh. Oh, there's no blood. I'm ok. I'm ok.

Luis: Yeah, you're fine. Hey, you're fine, ok? You were just having a bad dream, that's all.

Fancy: Luis, it was so real. I tried calling you, but Beth had one hand over my mouth.

Luis: Well, hey, you want me to call that hotel doctor for you again?

Fancy: No, no. I'll be ok. It was just a bad dream. It was the worst nightmare I've ever had, but it was just a dream.

Luis: Yeah, well, your subconscious is in overdrive, and considering everything that's happened, I'm not surprised.

Fancy: Yeah, I guess you're right. Talk about being terrified.

Luis: Beth's enough to scare anyone.

Fancy: Huh.

Luis: Why don't you get some rest. I'll leave the light on for you if you want it.

Fancy: No, please don't leave me, Luis. I'm afraid Beth will really try to kill me.

Beth: Be afraid, Fancy. Be very afraid.

Whitney: Don't tell me what I can and cannot do. You are not God. You are not the voice of God.

Man: Silence.

Whitney: Give it a rest! I'm not in awe of you anymore. As a matter of fact, you disgust me.

Man: You wound me to the core, Whitney! I am God's one true voice here to carry out a holy mission. I thought I had chosen wisely when I chose you to help me, but I see I have made a mistake. You have no faith, nor do you really seek penance for your sins. You are a heathen who lusts after your own half brother, one who dreams of committing incest with him even after bearing his child! Your son, your son -- a living symbol of your perverse carnality. You are damned, Whitney Russell. Damned for defying God's will!

Whitney: What happened to "judge not lest ye be judged"? What, what, you don't have an answer for that one? Maybe you're more evil than I think. That's why you haven't shown me your face. Maybe evil has warped and twisted your face so much, obviously like it has your mind.

Man: This is not about me, Whitney, this is about you. Your evil acts and your sick desires are keeping you from completing your mission for God.

Whitney: You know, I don't know what God wants me to do, but I'll certainly never know listening to you.

Man: Liar! You know exactly what God wants. He wants you to stay in service to him and to the church. He wants you to forsake Chad, to never speak to him or see him or your son again! Your son, that spawn of incest.

Women: No!

Jessica: Noah, watch out!

Jessica: We have to help Noah!

Spike: No more tough guy, huh?! No more tough guy!

Spike: Come on, let's get out of here!

Jessica: Oh, my God, are you ok?

Paloma: Yeah. They're getting away!

Noah: It's all right. Just -- just let them go, ok? Jessica, I am so glad that you're alive.

Jessica: Oh, thank you all for saving me.

Noah: Look, none of you would've needed saving if you would've stayed in the hotel like I told you to.

Jessica: I know, I'm sorry! We -- we just really wanted to see Rome.

Simone: Ok, I don't know about you guys, but I've seen enough.

Paloma: Yeah, me, too.

Jessica: Oh, more than enough.

Noah: Jessica, how did Spike find you?

Jessica: I don't know. It's -- it's like he appeared out of nowhere.

Simone: Yeah, just like the carriage did.

Noah: The carriage? Look, that tattoo on your back -- Spike took you to get it back in Harmony, right?

Jessica: Yeah.

Noah: And he never told you what it meant?

Jessica: No. I mean, I guess I should've asked more questions, but --

Paloma: Spike wouldn't have told you the truth anyway.

Simone: Uh-uh.

Noah: Look, your tattoo is the same as the symbol in the stolen artwork that we know is linked to Alistair, right?

Jessica: Mm-hmm.

Noah: And New Year's, we found out that Spike is working for Alistair.

Simone: So?

Noah: So where was Spike taking you?

Jessica: I'm not -- I'm not sure. I mean, Spike said something about getting me down the pit into the catacombs, but --

Noah: The catacombs. Look, the last time I was down there, the ceilings were caving in on Luis and Chad, so I don't want to go down there by myself without backup. Look, I'm going to take you guys back to the hotel, where I want you to stay this time. And then I'm going to find out what's behind this door. All right, let's go. Andiamo.

Tabitha: Will you get over your silly notion of wanting Fox and Kay to tie the knot, Endora? The brimstone boys are dead set against it, and I mean dead. They want Miguel to be with Kay so he won't end up with Charity because, as you know, if those two play the adult hokey-pokey, it'll be game over for us. And as for conjuring up Siren to keep Miguel away from Kay, well, I mean, that was bad magic from the get-go. Eventually, Siren will self-destruct, and then Miguel will be left all alone -- or worse, given Tillie the Tuna's temper. You see, Endora, your little mermaid doll is different from Siren. Siren can't be controlled, which could be cause for grave concern.

Fox: If Miguel and Siren want to be together, let them be together. Will you just chill out, ok? I'm going to go get some input about the photo shoot from Miguel.

Siren: Kay?

Kay: Yes?

Siren: I get the feeling you don't like me because I like Miguel.

Kay: If I seem protective of Miguel, it's because we've known each other for a long time and he's the father of my child.

Siren: I understand.

Kay: Good.

Siren: So understand this -- stay away from Miguel. He's mine.

Kay: Oh, really?

Siren: Uh-huh. And if you keep trying to cause trouble, I might have to cause some trouble for you -- big trouble.

Kay: Are you threatening me?

Siren: Call it what you want. Just stay away from Miguel.

Tabitha: Now, finish your breakfast, Endora. And for Hades' sake, leave our houseguests alone. You're far too young to understand adult love and emotions, especially with a mermaid-made-human in the mix.

Endora: Daddy?

Tabitha: So will you stop thinking like cupid and start thinking like a witch, please? A witch, a witch, a witch. Ok?

Endora: Ok.

Tabitha: Oh, good grief!

Fox: You know what? Kay's idea to do the next photo shoot here at the boathouse, it's -- it's terrific.

Miguel: You know, I think so, too, and I can put the money we make into the college fund we just started for Maria.

Fox: What do you think Kay and Siren are talking about right now?

Miguel: Beats me. The truth is, I don't even want to know. Kay's not really Siren's number one fan.

Fox: Yeah. And Siren's finally picking up on it.

Miguel: You know, aside from Gwen and Theresa, usually women try to work out their spats and -- and end up closer than they were before.

Fox: Maybe that's what they're doing right now.

Kay: Who the hell do you think you are threatening me?

Siren: I'm Miguel's girlfriend, that's who. And I'm giving you fair warning -- stay away from him or else.

Kay: You need to get over yourself, girlfriend. I couldn't stay away from Miguel even if I tried.

Siren: Because you still love him.

Kay: Because we have a daughter together.

Siren: A daughter you used to try to snag him in the first place -- only he didn't want you then, and he doesn't need you now that he has me.

Kay: Don't overestimate yourself, Siren, ok? Miguel and I have been close our entire lives and we will be long after you're gone.

Siren: I'm not going anywhere, Kay. But get in my way and I'll send you packing. I hear Atlantis is lovely at this time of year.

Noah: I want you guys to go up to your room and lock the door. Do not let anyone in you do not know.

Jessica: Ok, ok.

Noah: I mean it.

Paloma: We understand.

Simone: So what about you? Are you going back to the catacombs?

Noah: First, I have to find Fancy and Luis, bring them up to date. We all seem to be part of a plot involving that symbol and, well, whatever it means and what's going to happen next is anyone's guess. But one thing is for sure -- our little Roman holiday is over. We all have to keep our guard up -- even Fancy and Luis.

Fancy: I'm sorry. I don't mean to seem so needy. But I am afraid, Luis. My dream of Beth trying to kill me seemed so real.

Luis: No, hey, it's ok. Look, I'm going to stay in here until you fall fast asleep, all right?

Fancy: Luis, you're too tired to just sit there watching me sleep. Come lie down, stretch out.

Luis: You sure you don't mind?

Fancy: Of course not. Come on.

Fancy: I feel safer already. Here. It's chilly.

Luis: Thanks.

Fancy: Mm-hmm.

Luis: Get some rest. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine.

Fancy: I won't worry now that you're here.

Luis: Ok.

Fancy's voice: Beth can't hurt me now.

Beth: It's been quiet in there for a while now.

Beth: Damn it! Luis might be protecting you now, Fancy, but one of these days, when you least expect it, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you dead, dead, dead!

Tabitha: Oh. That Siren doesn't hold back when she feels threatened, as Kay is finding out. That mermaid, she -- she really wants Miguel. And if Kay gets in her way, I predict there's going to be trouble -- big trouble.

Tabitha: Don't you get smart with me, young lady. You really went too far this time, turning that mermaid into a human. You know, if she's pushed, she could turn into a real monster -- a sea monster.

Tabitha: Recasting isn't the answer, Endora. All mermaids have a mean streak in them.

Endora: Mermaid.

Tabitha: Yes, it's a mermaid. We just have to hope that Siren doesn't hit Kay with a wave of violence.

Endora: Mermaid!

Tabitha: Yes, it's a mermaid.

Endora: It's a mermaid.

Fox: You know, Siren's quite a catch. When this ad hits, you two are going to be superstars.

Miguel: Maybe Siren, but not me.

Fox: Ok, you're missing the point. The point is every man that sees Siren is going to want her, so you'd better act fast if you don't want to lose her.

Kay: You'll send me packing if I don't stay away from Miguel?

Siren: That's right.

Kay: Oh, wow, you've quite a mean streak, don't you, Siren?

Siren: It's fair warning, Kay. Leave him alone or else.

Kay: Oh, and just what do you think you're going to do to me if I don't?

Siren: It's not just me you need to watch out for. If you keep trying to cuddle up to Fox one minute and Miguel the next, you're going to lose both of them and end up alone.

Kay: I don't think so.

Siren: Well, think again, Kay. I'll make sure of it, and that's just for starters.

[Knock on door]

Noah: Oh, scusi. I -- I got locked out of my room. Could you -- could you let me in, please?

Maid: Of course, signore.

Noah: Here you go. Grazie. Hey, Luis? Oh, he must've gone out to get some food. Hey, look, Fancy, I know you're barely talking to me right now, but there's something kind of important that I have to talk to you --

Noah: No.

Simone: Well, we better go up to the room like Noah said. We've all been in enough trouble already.

Paloma: Gee, it's a miracle Noah came along when he did. Spike almost made off with you.

Jessica: I still wonder what Spike wanted to do to me down in the catacombs.

Paloma: Whatever it was, it could not have been good.

Jessica: Well, Noah's right about my tattoo. Its shape is connected to art stolen during World War II, those weird people in that club. Oh, and the sketch of the symbol you guys found under Whitney's mattress in the convent, and that monk Luis told us about. God, I would love to know what's going on.

Paloma: Hmm, me, too.

Simone: I just wonder how Whitney fits into all this.

Whitney: So I'm supposed to stay here, away from Chad, away from my son? And then what?

Man: Don't question me, Whitney. Just know that you are doing God's work.

Whitney: How? How am I doing God's work?

Man: That will be revealed when the time is right.

Whitney: No, no, you need to tell me now or I'm leaving. This symbol, this symbol -- what does it really mean?

Man: That is something you must find out for yourself.

Whitney: No, I want you to tell me what that symbol really means, who you really are, and why -- why are we really here?

Man: Remember your place, Whitney.

Whitney: Stop stalling and just answer me. Who are you?

Man: I cannot tell you.

Whitney: Why? Why not?

Man: You have to trust me, Whitney.

Whitney: Well, I don't. I don't trust you, not anymore. Tell me who you really are and why we're here.

Man: You need to calm down. Your behavior is unbecoming to a novice.

Whitney: My behavior? Well, what about you, pretending to represent God? You wanted me to let Chad and Luis die! You're hiding something... something big. Now, tell me.

Man: Not another word or you will live to regret it!

Whitney: Oh, my God.

On the Next Passions:

Chad:  There's no way Alistair's the mastermind behind this evil.

Julian:  I suggest we make sure he's not faking.

Noah:  I just caught you in bed with Luis.  What the hell do you mean "what's wrong"?

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