Passions Transcript Thursday 5/18/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Thursday 5/18/06--Canada; Friday 5/19/06--USA
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Provided By Stephanie
Proofread By Jodi

Fox: Ok, sweetheart, one last bite of eggies?

Fox: Yeah, she doesn't seem to like these too much.

Tabitha: Don't worry, she's had plenty.

Miguel: Good morning, all.

Fox: Good morning.

Miguel: Where's Maria?

Fox: Oh, your mom's already picked her up.

Miguel: Kay said she was asking for me and I wanted to say goodbye.

Tabitha: Oh, don't worry, dear, Maria's in fine fettle this morning, if a tiny touch confused. She keeps calling Fox Daddy.

Fox: She'll get over that. It's just because she knows me better.

Miguel: You know, I could kick myself for being gone so long, but I'm here for her now.

Tabitha: Oh, yes, I'm sure she'll sort it all out for herself eventually.

Fox: Listen, Tabitha, can you take over here? I need to check in with the office.

Tabitha: Ok.

Fox: Oh, I've got a big day. Fancy's client is having a photo shoot to launch his new fragrance, big campaign. I promised her I'd take care of it while she's gone.

Miguel: Hey, where's Siren?

Tabitha: She's in the kitchen with Kay.

Miguel: That can't be good.

Fox: I don't hear any explosions.

Miguel: Not yet at least.

Tabitha: No, Endora, not now. It's too early for your fireworks. But, oh, dear, Kay and your mermaid in the same room alone together? I can feel the tension from here.

Kay: Where do you get off hanging all over Fox?

Siren: He was hanging all over me. Now you know how it feels.

Kay: What the hell does that mean?

Siren: Oh, please. Every time Miguel and I try to get close, you barge in like some uninvited guest.

Kay: Talk about uninvited guests.

Siren: You're always trying to horn in on my time with Miguel.

Kay: Oh, trust me, I don't need to horn in. We're already close. I've known him since we were kids.

Siren: Well, he's a man now. Let him go.

Kay: What are you talking about?

Siren: He wants me and it drives you crazy. You're so jealous, you could spit.

Kay: Jealous? Are you out of your mind? I just want to protect him.

Siren: From me? Please.

Kay: What kind of girl breaks up with her boyfriend and then just hops into bed with the first guy she meets, huh -- and not to mention on the same night. And the way you hang all over him? It's disgusting. Ugh.

Siren: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

Kay: Oh, I've tried it. We have a child together, remember? And where do you get off hanging all over Fox?

Siren: You left him alone, Kay. Don't blame me if he finds me attractive.

Kay: Oh, you are unbelievable. He loves me. There is no way he would come on to you.

Siren: Really? It was Fox who had his arms around me, not the other way around.

Clerk: Benvenuti a Roma, signora Crane. Your room is not quite ready yet, but we will have your luggage sent up as soon as it is.

Theresa: Thank you.

Clerk: The dining room is to my left, if you care to have breakfast while you wait?

Theresa: Yeah, that would be lovely.

Clerk: Thank you.

Ethan: Uh, excuse me. Um, what about my room?

Clerk: Signor? I'm sorry, Mrs. Crane, but I only see one room here with your reservation.

Ethan: Why am I not surprised? We're going to need another room, please.

Clerk: I'm very sorry, Mr. Crane --

Ethan: Actually, it's Winthrop.

Clerk: Ah, of course. My apologies. The hotel is full. Tourist season has begun and we have no more rooms left.

Ethan: That figures, huh?

Theresa: All right, it's ok, Ethan, really. The suite will be just fine.

Ethan: No, excuse me, Theresa, it's not fine. Look, if this is another one of your little tricks, if you think that by sharing a room we'll end up in bed together or something --

Theresa: No, no, no --

Ethan: Look, get this straight -- I'm not cheating on Gwen. And I'll get another hotel if I need to, ok? Arrivederci.

Luis: I know you think I'm butting in, ok, but will you just talk to Noah? I'm sure this whole thing is a big misunderstanding. Let the guy explain, ok? He loves you.

Fancy: Luis, you don't know him at all anymore. It's not just that I found him cheating. I found him cheating over and over.

Luis: Ok, see, that doesn't make any sense at all. I know the guy. He wouldn't cheat. I -- I would bet my life on it.

Fancy: Then I guess you're a dead man.

Kay: What are you doing?

Siren: Oh, just snacking. I didn't have much breakfast.

Kay: Sounds like the Tasmanian devil.

Kay: Let's get something straight, ok? Stay away from Fox. I'm warning you.

Siren: Ooh! Someone doesn't like sharing. You know, you may sleep with all the men around here, but you don't control them.

Kay: Oh, you bitch.

Siren: Names. I can think of a few for you. You say, "stay away from Fox, stay away from Miguel." Which is it? If I were you, I'd figure out which one of them you love.

Kay: I love Fox. We're engaged.

Siren: Well, I don't know what that has to do with anything, but fine, if that's the case, let go of Miguel.

Siren: Well, I'm glad we had this little chat and you've decided to leave Miguel alone.

Kay: I never said that.

Siren: Oh, but you will. Because if you don't, you'll lose both Fox and Miguel forever. Now, where did I leave that hot boy?

Kay: Ooh, what a piranha!

Fox: Well, I hope everything's all right in the kitchen.

Miguel: Kay is no fan of Siren, but she wouldn't do anything... crazy.

Siren: I missed you.

Miguel: You are so affectionate.

Tabitha: Because she's had centuries of practice. I'll fill you in later, dear. Oh, look at that mermaid girl. She never quits, does she?

Tabitha: She's not in love, though, dear. No, her urges are a bit more primal.

Kay: Everybody comfy in here?

Siren: I hope you don't have to go to work on that boat. I was hoping to spend the whole day with you, and I know just how to spend it.

Fox: Honey, we have a problem. Fancy's client Alfredo just blew his lid and fired the model that Fancy hired.

Kay: But the photo shoot's today.

Fox: I know.

Kay: Well, what are we going to do?

Fox: Well, it's too late to call Fancy. We've got to find another model.

Kay: In two hours?

Fox: We've got to. Fancy already hired the photographer that Alfredo insisted on. They've already set up on the beach. If we cancel now, it -- it'll cost us thousands. No, we -- we've got to do the shoot.

Kay: Where are we supposed to find a model this late?

Theresa: Listen to me, it's not what you think, ok?

Ethan: Where -- where have I heard that before, hmm?

Theresa: No, seriously, I didn't make the reservations, ok, Crane travel did.

Ethan: Yeah, and you told them one room so you could put your little plan into action, Theresa.

Theresa: No, no, no, that's not exactly what happened, ok? I mean, you know, I didn't know that you were going to come to Rome when I made the arrangements. You had already said that you weren't going to come, and then suddenly you just showed up on the aircraft when we were about to take off and then I didn't think, you know, to call Crane travel to change my reservation.

Ethan: Really?

Theresa: Ok. You got me.

Ethan: Mm-hmm, gotcha. See ya.

Theresa: No, no, no! Please, please, please. Ok, fine, fine, yes, yes, yes, I wanted to share a room with you, but not just because I wanted to share the same bed, because -- listen, please? Something happened.

Ethan: I'm listening. What, what now?

Theresa: Ok, great. I was on, you know, the airplane, I was checking my e-mail, and I got this anonymous e-mail.

Ethan: Anonymous e-mail?

Theresa: Yes.

Ethan: How?

Theresa: I don't know. I'm not a computer genius, ok? Just it was a threat, Ethan. It said somebody from Harmony on this trip to Rome was going to die.

Ethan: Are you for real?

Theresa: Yes, I'm for real. You can read the e-mail yourself if you don't believe me. Now, it was a threat, Ethan. I mean, I'm scared. What if someone was just trying to kill me? That's why I didn't want to be all alone in the room.

Ethan: Theresa, if this is one of your tricks, I swear --

Theresa: It's not a trick. Something bad is going to happen here in Rome.

Luis: Who is that?

Fancy: Hmm, his ex-girlfriend, the infamous Maya Chinn. They traveled to Rome together. Now do you believe me?

Luis: Yeah, but how can he do that so blatantly? Right here?

Fancy: Trust me, I had a hard time believing it, too.

Luis: Just last night the guy's telling me how much he loves you.

Fancy: Yeah, he talks a good game, but every time I believe him and let my defenses down, then, wham, he's right back with her.

Luis: I'm going to go have a little talk with him.

Fancy: No, no, Luis, don't, please? He's made a fool out of me one too many times already. There's nothing you or anyone can say to make me go back to Noah Bennett. I have to move on. The way he has.

Maya: Is Lena still there?

Noah: No, she's gone. We don't have to put on this absurd act anymore.

Maya: I know you're upset.

Noah: You're damn right I am, Maya. Pretending to be in a relationship with you so that Lena would be happy has cost me the woman of my dreams.

Maya: It's for Fancy's own protection.

Noah: You know, she thinks I'm a two-timing jerk, all right? And because of this insane situation, I can't tell her the truth.

Maya: Well, maybe when the FBI catches Lena --

Noah: Then it'll be too late, all right? I have hurt her bad, Maya. I've broken her heart. God, I just should've explained everything to her from the get-go.

Luis: Why don't you just start explaining everything to me?

Kay: Well, it's no use. I can't find another model for the photo shoot on such short notice.

Tabitha: Well, there has to be someone, dear. What about that Johnson girl that lives down the street? Her squint's almost disappeared now that she has contact lenses.

Kay: Not funny, Tabitha. This fragrance line is a huge account. I need a professional, a real knockout.

Tabitha: But the professional that Fancy hired was turned down by the client. Why not try someone new and fresh? That's always more interesting, I think.

Kay: Well, where am I supposed to come up with someone new and hot and gorgeous on an hour's notice?

Miguel: Can you believe it? Siren wants to go to the beach to go swimming again.

Tabitha: Maybe she wants to introduce you to her family.

Miguel: What was that?

Tabitha: Oh, nothing, dear. I'm just muttering.

Kay: And you're going?

Miguel: Sure, I mean, I've got the day free. Tabitha, do you have an ice chest I can borrow?

Tabitha: Sure, in the shed in the backyard.

Kay: You know, Miguel looks awfully good.

Tabitha: Yeah, Siren seems to think so, too.

Kay: Uh-uh, not just his body. He has a beautiful smile. He would be perfect in a print ad.

Tabitha: But I thought you needed a female model for this photo shoot.

Kay: Well, I did, but just because it's a woman's fragrance doesn't mean I need a woman model. Think about it. This hot guy stares at you from the ad in the magazine and you think to yourself, "buy the perfume, get the guy." It could work.

Tabitha: Cards on the table, Kay. Why do you really want Miguel for this photo shoot, hmm?

Kay: Well, if he's working all day for me and Fox and then he has to go out to the fishing boats all night --

Tabitha: He won't have any time to spend with Siren.

Kay: Hmm.

Tabitha: Well done, Kay. Oh, no wonder the dark side welcomed you with open arms.

Miguel: I'm going to buy a bag of ice at the store.

Kay: Wait, hold on. Come here! Mm-hmm.

Miguel: Kay, what are you doing?

Kay: Grr! Tabitha, don't you think Miguel has the perfect body, hmm?

Tabitha: Michelangelo's "David" come to life.

Miguel: Ok, what are you guys doing?

Kay: Miguel, you have a body to die for. Ooh, you would make the perfect male model.

Miguel: Me?

Kay: Yes, you. And it just so happens that I need a male model right now.

Luis: What the hell do you think you're doing?

Maya: Excuse me?

Luis: Miss, I don't even know you, but if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to my friend Noah here.

Luis: How the hell can you do that to Fancy?

Noah: Luis, it's complicated.

Luis: Actually, it's really simple, because if you love somebody the way that you say you love Fancy, you don't cheat on them -- especially right in front of them.

Noah: Look, it's not how it looks.

Luis: Looks? Man. I am so disappointed in you. Fancy was right. I was a real idiot to stick up for you. You're not who I thought you were. Not even close.

Noah: I can't do this anymore, Maya. Everyone thinks that I am slime -- my father, Fancy, now Luis. I have to tell Fancy the truth.

Maya: No, you can't do that, Noah. If you and Fancy get back together, Lena will kill her. She said so. You can't put her in that kind of danger.

Noah: You know, ever since you walked back in my life, I've lost everything that I love one piece at a time. Excuse me.

Maya: It's about to get worse, Noah. A lot worse.

Kay: Well, looks like everything's ready.

Miguel: Kay --

Kay: Where is everybody?

Miguel: Look, I don't really want to do this.

Kay: Oh, come on, you'll be perfect for it, and the money's great. Just think about Maria's college fund.

Miguel: We don't have one.

Kay: Exactly.

Miguel: Look, I guess you're right, Kay, but this -- it's making me feel funny.

Tabitha: Oh, come on, Miguel, you're a very attractive young man. My motto is if you've got it, flaunt it, especially if they're giving you oodles of greenbacks to do it.

Kay: And you'd really be helping me out of a tight spot.

Miguel: I guess.

Fox: Kay. I've got great news. I found the perfect model.

Miguel: Good, then I'm off the hook.

Kay: Fox --

Fox: What? I thought you'd be thrilled.

Kay: I am, but I found a model, too.

Fox: You did? Who?

Kay: Miguel. I think he'd be great for the ad.

Miguel: But if you've found somebody else, that's fine because I didn't really want to do this anyway.

Kay: Oh, sure you did. Oh, shh, shh. Here comes the client, Alfredo.

Alfredo: Kay, Fox? Oh, heavens, it's broiling out here. I hope my base isn't running.

Fox: You're good.

Alfredo: Who's this?

Tabitha: Oh, I'm just a friend. Is it all right if I observe?

Alfredo: Knock yourself out. Vivienne Westwood?

Tabitha: No, no, actually, it's all my own design.

Alfredo: Thank God. For a minute there, I thought Vivienne had lost her touch. Now, look, I trust the two of you have come up with a better model for my ad campaign than that skeleton that Fancy hired. I paid the poor dear off and told her to go have a nice ham sandwich or three.

Kay: Yes, Alfredo --

Alfredo: Yes, well, I don't understand your sister at all. I mean, I explained this campaign to her. I told her exactly what I wanted -- all-American, with a soupon of pure lust thrown in. I envisioned a beautiful, naked, healthy girl on a beach, and Fancy sends me the understudy from "Corpse Bride."

Kay: Well, actually, Alfredo, I've rethought it a bit, and if you want lust, well, 80% of women's fragrances are bought by women, so why not use hot male models?

Alfredo: Well, I do, dear, just not during working hours.

Fox: Of course, and you're the client, which is exactly why we hired a fresh female model for you in case you didn't like Kay's idea.

Kay: But first I want you to meet your male model. Come here! This is Miguel.

Miguel: Hello.

Alfredo: Oh. Where's the other flesh puppet?

Fox: Ah, here she is.

Fox: Alfredo, meet -- Siren. I think she's going to be perfect for your campaign.

Alfredo: Hmm.

Luis: Thought you were over him.

Fancy: I am.

Luis: I guess he's not the only liar in the room. You still love him after everything he's done to you?

Fancy: I can't help it. But it doesn't matter. I've been down this road before with half the fortune hunters in the world. I can't be close to someone who's a cheat and a liar. I'll have to force myself to forget him and move on.

Luis: Oh. It's Ethan and Theresa! Hey, sis!

Theresa: Luis, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.

Fancy: Ethan?

Theresa: Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I just left you a message up at the desk up in the lobby, so --

Luis: Yeah, yeah, what are you guys doing here?

Theresa: Oh, hi.

Fancy: Hi.

Theresa: I didn't even see you, but of course you're here. Yeah, Crane security, they told me last night that Simone and Paloma and Jessica are in terrible danger.

Luis: Go on.

Theresa: They're not here to be in an art school, Luis. They were, like, playing detective or something. They're getting themselves mixed up in a search for some stolen paintings.

Luis: Unbelievable. It's no wonder they were attacked.

Theresa: They were attacked?

Luis: Yeah.

Noah: Hey. Hi. Sorry to interrupt, but --

Theresa: Noah.

Noah: Yeah.

Theresa: You're staying here, too?

Noah: Yeah, it's a long story.

Fancy: Hmm, I'll say.

Noah: Look, I heard you mention my sister Jessica and Paloma?

Luis: Yeah. Crane security called her and told them they were in danger.

Theresa: What is this about them being attacked?

Noah: They were accosted by some Italian guys, but luckily Luis showed up.

Theresa: Well, they're ok?

Luis: They're fine. They're up in their room right now.

Theresa: Thank God.

Fancy: Well, that's not the only good news. Luis?

Luis: I found Beth and Marty.

Theresa: Oh, my, God, Luis, you -- where? Where's Marty, where's Marty? Is Beth in jail? She should be in jail.

Luis: No, no, she isn't. Beth got away with Marty, but I know that they're here in Rome.

Ethan: You'll find them.

Luis: You bet I will.

Theresa: Did you tell Sheridan?

Luis: No, not yet. I don't want to get her hopes up until Marty's safe, and -- well, I've got Interpol on it, too. They're looking for Beth and Marty as well.

Fancy: And Luis has an appointment at the bank that's been funneling Crane money to them.

Theresa: Ok, ok, well, so things are moving here, huh?

Luis: Mm-hmm.

Fancy: Ethan, what are you doing here? Where's Gwen?

Ethan: Gwen is at home with Jane. Theresa was obviously worried about Paloma and Simone, and when I heard my sister Jessica was in danger, well, I had to come.

Fancy: So, Theresa talked you into coming to Rome?

Ethan: Yeah, she did.

Fancy: Mm-hmm.

Luis: Wow, this really is getting weird. And Chad swears that he saw Whitney in the catacombs.

Fancy: Yeah, my father had Crane security trace Whitney to Rome, and that's why Chad came to look for her. I mean, you know how upset she's been.

Theresa: Making me crazy.

Ethan: All right, so wait a minute. All these people from Harmony just happen to show up in Rome coincidentally. Does this seem odd to anybody?

Luis: I think it's a little more than odd. I get the feeling that someone's brought us all to Rome for another reason.

Fancy: But why would someone want all of us here in Rome?

Ethan: And then there's the other question -- who?

Fox: Siren, this is Alfredo. He's our client today.

Alfredo: Hmm.

Siren: You like what you see?

Kay: You hired Siren as our model?

Fox: Sure, why not? She's a knockout. It was an emergency. The poor girl's broke. So, Alfredo, what do you think? Siren's a complete unknown. That's to our advantage.

Alfredo: I trust she works cheap?

Fox: Of course. And you wanted all-American? What's more all-American than a beautiful blond in a bikini on the beach?

Kay: Why does everything I do turn out wrong? I can't believe Fox hired Siren.

Tabitha: Just look on the bright side, dear.

Kay: What bright side?

Tabitha: If Siren's working, she'll be too damn busy to be throwing herself at Miguel all day.

Kay: Hmm.

Endora: Ball!

Tabitha: Yes, it will be fine. You'll get what you want.

Miguel: Hey, so I guess I'm off the hook.

Kay: Yeah, I guess. But, hey, now that you're free, maybe you should go to your mom's house and play with Maria.

Miguel: Good idea. I will. See you guys later.

Endora: Be careful.

Alfredo: Wait a minute. It's coming, it's coming! Alfredo, you've done it again. I'm a genius. Come here. Come, come, come. Excuse me. Watch and learn, kids. This a little something we call a good advertising concept. What do you think of that, hmm? Male, female, yin, yang, sun, moon. Oh, it's fabulous. What am I paying you people for?

Kay: Wait, you want to use both of them?

Alfredo: You got it, sister. Look, a couple in love. Just think how perfectly it embodies the musky low notes of intimacy in my fragrance.

Kay: No, I --

Alfredo: And that is why you should get down on your knees and thank the good Lord that I schlepped all the way up to this godforsaken village from New York.

Fox: Visionary. Brilliant, Alfredo. Two lovers on the beach, the roar of the waves, carried away by love.

Alfredo: And lust.

Fox: Timeless. Adam and Eve, "From Here to Eternity."

Alfredo: Yes, yes, yes, yes. My concept is brilliant. But it only works if the two models have chemistry together.

Siren: Oh, we have chemistry. Very basic chemistry.

Alfredo: Yes, well, let's get Alexi over here and see what he can do. Their chemistry had better show up on film. Alexi, where are you? Get your fanny implants over here.

Miguel: Alexi?

Kay: The photographer.

Siren: Isn't this amazing, us working together? And I love what he said about the musky low notes of intimacy.

Tabitha: Oh, dear. Your little plan has gone awry, I'm afraid. Siren is actually going to be paid for being intimate with Miguel.

Luis: Good. Well, I'll be waiting.

Theresa: Did Interpol find Beth?

Luis: No, not yet, but a friend of mine there says they're getting close. So where were we?

Fancy: We were trying to figure out who would lure all of us here to Rome and why.

Luis: Well, that's obvious -- Alistair Crane. Except he's in a coma.

Fancy: No, maybe we're all overreacting.

Ethan: I don't think so. I mean, there's too many coincidences here. And, oh, to top it all off, Theresa received some anonymous threatening e-mail and it warned that somebody from Harmony is going to die in Rome.

Luis: Theresa, let me see it.

Theresa: Well, you know, it's -- it's kind of personal.

Luis: Theresa, this is police business. Let me see it.

Theresa: Right here. Here you go.

Luis: Oh, my God. This is the same symbol that Chad and I saw down in the catacombs.

Noah: It's the same symbol that's tattooed on Jessica's back.

Ethan: How does it read?

Luis: "Someone from Harmony will die in Rome."

Noah: Well, that's clear enough.

Fancy: I don't believe this.

Luis: Forget about coincidences. According to this, one of us is marked for death.

Alexi: Oh, yeah. That's it, Siren baby. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's the right stuff. What are you going to do to him now? Oh, yeah! All right, now put your hands on his butt. Siren, don't put your hands there. Think PG-13, or R at the very worst.

Siren: Sorry.

Kay: This is obscene!

Tabitha: Well, advertising is a dirty business, Kay.

Kay: What a shame this isn't working. These two have no sexual chemistry whatsoever.

Alfredo: Are you mad? This is hotter than the screening of "Brokeback" on fire island. Those two sizzle. I mean, I have never seen such pure, unadulterated heat. It's primal.

Tabitha: Almost magical, I'd say.

Endora: Someone liked it?

Tabitha: Right.

Alfredo: I'll sell tanker cars of that crappy fragrance.

Kay: But really --

Fox: You are so right, Alfredo. Our campaign is exactly what Alfredo is looking for.

Kay: Of course.

Alexi: Ok, babies, that's right. Oh, that's it, that's it, Siren. Just a little more sugar. There it is.

Alfredo: Yes.

Kay: No!

Tabitha: Oh, I'm afraid our Kay isn't too happy at present, Endora.

Tabitha: You little minx. You brought Siren into Miguel's life so that there was a little romance, didn't you? Yes, well, at present I might say. It's working at present. But you don't know mermaids, Endora. I've told you, they are flighty and fickle, every last one of them. That Siren sees another handsome man or even a good-looking male from any other species, she'll be up and leave Miguel so fast, you won't even see her for dust. And then where are we? Back where we started, having to break up Kay and Fox so she can fall in love with Miguel. No, we can't have Miguel running around free. What if Charity comes back to town? Those two can never enjoy connubial bliss or we are doomed, child, doomed.

Alexi: Oh, that's good. That is so good. Priceless, priceless.

Tabitha: Well, I don't think this is going to work. Your mermaid is just going to be a distraction. No, the romance will never be.

Alexi: That's it. Hot. Hot, hot, hot. More skin. Think skin, babies.

Fancy: What else does that e-mail say?

Luis: Wait.

Theresa: That's pretty much all of it, actually.

Luis: Theresa.

Theresa: What? Give me that.

Luis: Theresa --

Ethan: Excuse me.

Theresa: Ethan, stop it!

Ethan: I'll take it, thanks. Well, you didn't exactly tell me how the e-mail started, did you? "You will gain Ethan in Rome, but lose your love"? Um, why didn't you tell me about this?

Theresa: Because I knew you would be upset. And it's anonymous, so I just assumed that you would think that I was behind this.

Ethan: Yeah, that's exactly what I think, and I think you're going to do anything to try to break up my marriage to Gwen, that's what I think.

Theresa: I would never do that, Ethan -- talk about people dying?

Ethan: Why should I believe a word you say?

Theresa: Because I wouldn't do something that sick, Ethan, that crazy and stupid. Fate is going to bring us together.

Ethan: Theresa, come on --

Theresa: No, really, I don't care if you don't believe me, it's going to happen. No, I just have to prove that Gwen was the one who sold you out to the tabloid.

Ethan: Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself, ok? Are you behind all of us being in Rome or not?

Theresa: I am not behind us all being here in Rome, ok, and I am not embarrassing myself. Gwen lied to you and I'm going to prove the truth. It always comes out. I've just got to find that sleazy editor of "Daily Private Lives," J.T. Cornell.

Luis: That's it!

Theresa: Wait, what, what?

Luis: Fancy, you remember earlier when we were sitting here, that guy, I couldn't remember his name? That's it! J.T. Cornell.

Theresa: Wait a minute. I mean, he's here?

Luis: Yeah.

Theresa: Ok, because he's been missing, you know, for months in some kind of I.R.S. troubles or something.

Fancy: Yeah, he was having breakfast right over there.

Luis: Yeah.

Theresa: Over there? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God, J.T.'s here, J.T.'s here! Ethan, I know it, he's got the evidence, he's got the evidence that I need to prove that it was Gwen who told the world that you are really Sam Bennett's son!

Ethan: This -- wow, you know, this is really, really convenient. You get all of us here in Rome and -- voila! -- The editor you've been looking for for years, he just happens to be in Rome, right here. Come on, what the hell do you take us for?

Luis: Ethan, I know that my sister has done some crazy things, but I believe her. Whatever is going on here in Rome, I think that it's bigger than some crazy scheme of hers to get you back. And whoever is behind it is clever and they have used something really important to each one of us as bait. Me? I was looking for Marty. Marty is here with Beth. Theresa? Well, this is a chance for her to get you back, especially now that this editor is here to help her. Chad? He's looking for Whitney. She's in the catacombs, evidently, although he says she looks totally different. And then there's Simone and Jessica and Paloma here. They're on some crazy adventure looking for stolen paintings. And then there's Noah, who's here with his ex-girlfriend. Everyone here in Rome is here for a reason.

Fancy: Not me. I have no idea why I'm here. Theresa suggested I come here for work to get my mind off my troubles, but that was just a suggestion. I am the one who took you up on it. So there's no reason whatsoever to lure me to Rome.

Luis: Maybe there is a reason you're here alone in Rome. I don't like it.

Fancy: I can take care of myself.

Luis: Well, don't take it personally, but I just -- I think you need protection 24/7.

Noah: I can do it. I'll stay with her every moment of every day.

Alexi: Oh, yeah, that's pretty. Oh, that is good. Yes. Oh, yeah, that's great. Perfect. That's nice. That's great. Oh, that's it, that's it, Siren.

Tabitha: Oh, my.

Alexi: Just a little more sugar.

Tabitha: That mermaid certainly knows what to do in the sex department. Even so, it's not going to last.

Tabitha: No, no, no, Endora, no, no. No more.

Alexi: Come on, where's that fire?

Miguel: Siren, you look different. You look mesmerizing.

Siren: Do I?

Alexi: This is fantastic. Keep going. Keep going. Think skin, skin, skin.

Alfredo: Fox, I don't know how you set up a rainbow, but it's stupendous. Hmm, look at those two go.

Fox: Thanks, Alfredo. I'm glad you like it.

Alfredo: Like it? They're magic together.

Kay: All right, witch, what did you do?

Tabitha: Don't look at me. It was Endora.

Kay: Now Miguel can't keep his hands off her.

Tabitha: Now, don't throw a hissy fit with me, young lady. You know I never encourage romance. On the contrary, I do everything in my power to squelch it, remember?

Kay: Sweetheart, please stop? Don't make Miguel like Siren any more.

Alexi: Oh, loving this, loving this. Very nice. Very nice. Oh, that's good. That is so good. Priceless, priceless. Loving this. Mm-hmm, uh-huh.

Kay: This is terrible!

Alfredo: Oh, it's like disco all over again!

Tabitha: You knock it off, Endora. It must be ball lightning, I think.

Kay: You have to do better than that.

Tabitha: Oh, it -- it's such an interesting phenomenon as it dissipates, isn't it?

Alfredo: Whatever it is, I'm all for it, honey.

Tabitha: I'm sorry, Kay, but Endora's an incurable romantic. She's brought love to Miguel and she's -- she's too young to know the consequences. Of course, we all find out. She'll find out, too.

Kay: By then, it'll be too late.

Tabitha: For whom?

Kay: What?

Tabitha: Oh, come off it, Kay. You know you want to be the one in Miguel's arms.

Kay: You know, I can't talk right now, I'm working.

Tabitha: You know, it's not like our Kay to be so chicken. One of these days she's going to have to come to terms with the fact that she's still in love with Miguel.

Alexi: Mm-hmm, uh-huh. Hot, hot.

Noah: I can watch over Fancy every moment. I'll die before I let anyone near her.

Fancy: Oh, forget it. I'd rather let someone kill me than spend another second with you.

Noah: Fancy -- hey, hey, you're not listening, ok? Your life could be in danger. You can't be alone.

Luis: Don't worry, she won't be. I'll protect her.

Noah: What?

Luis: I'd be more than happy to be your bodyguard. Look, I don't want anyone to be alone here. If this e-mail is legit, then one of us is marked for death. Which one of us? And just as importantly, who's behind this?

[Man laughs]

On the Next Passions:

Beth: I made a big mistake not getting rid of Sheridan. I am not going to make the same mistake with you, miss fancy pants.

Luis: We'll be sleeping together.

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