Friday 5/5/06--Canada; Monday 5/8/06--USA
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Tabitha: Oh, Endora. Now look what you've done. Oh, scratch that. You're too young to look at what you've done.
Tabitha: I don't know what to do with you anymore, Endora. Turning that mermaid into a human was really asking for trouble.
Tabitha: Oh. I -- I just mustn't work myself up into a frenzy here. Tabitha, twitch it. Must be cool, calm, and collected.
Tabitha: But we have to monitor our fishy missy and make sure that no one ever discovers she's a mermaid. No one must ever know the truth about Siren.
Kay: What's the truth about Siren?
Siren: Miguel, it's lonely in this tub all by myself. Come in. Join me.
Miguel: It's tempting, Siren, but we shouldn't move so fast.
Siren: Don't worry. I'll go slow, I promise you. I'm so comfortable in the water, I can go as slow as you like.
Man: Well, do you recognize this?
Simone: It's the same symbol.
Jessica: Help, police!
Man: Sta zitta.
Second man: Don't call the police. We need to talk.
Jessica: First you threaten us, and now you want to make conversation?
Paloma: Where did you get that?
Man: Where did you get that drawing?
Jessica: Why are you talking to these thugs? Hey, hey -- that's exactly like my tattoo. What's going on here?
Man: We need you to come with us.
Jessica: Oh, right. We're supposed to go waltzing into the night with three men who attacked us.
Jessica: Oh --
Simone: We will come with you.
Jessica: What? Are you nuts?
Paloma: Come on, Jess.
Jessica: Oh, oh, oh, wait a minute. Nobody is going anywhere until you tell me what's going on. Why do these men have a charm shaped like my tattoo, and why do you two have a drawing of it? Somebody had better tell me what's going on.
Chad: Luis, this is the same place, I'm telling you.
Woman: Cosa volete?
Chad: When I opened this door before, there was nothing here. There was no house behind it.
Woman: Oh, turisti stupidi. I want you to leave or I call the polizia.
Chad: You just do that. Call the police. I'm not leaving here until I find out what you're hiding. Where's Whitney?
Man: Tell me -- what are you seeing now, Whitney?
Whitney: I'm walking down the stairs underneath the Vatican, and it seems like the stairs are just going down forever.
Man: Keep going. Tell me -- what do you see?
Whitney: Well, I can't really see anything, it's so dark. I have no idea where I'm going.
Whitney: What was that sound?
Man: What? What is it you hear?
Whitney: It's a sound, a growl, like some sort of strange animal. It's the same sound I heard when I was being dragged to the catacombs.
Man: You imagined that.
Whitney: There it is. I heard it again.
Man: Don't take it off. Ignore the sound, it's nothing.
Whitney: No, but I'm scared.
Man: Continue down the stairs. Whatever's on the bottom might lead us to the chalice.
Whitney: But, Lord, I'm frightened. Please.
Man: It's not real. Now, tell me -- what are you seeing?
Kay: Ok, Tabitha, answer my question. What did you mean, "the truth about Siren?" What truth?
Tabitha: "What truth?" What do you mean, dear?
Kay: Oh, stop. What were you saying when we came in? Do you know a secret about her?
Fox: Tabitha, did -- did Siren tell you something?
Tabitha: Oh. Oh, yes, a secret. Yes, yes, yes, she did tell me a secret. Yes, her secret is that she's attracted to Miguel.
Fox: That's hardly a secret. She can't keep her hands off the guy.
Kay: What are you hiding?
Fox: Kay, that's rude.
Tabitha: Yes, yes, it is, dear. Actually, I'm really quite sorry for the little lamb, being shipwrecked and left all alone on that island in this day and age. I mean, it's lucky you all came along.
Kay: Yeah, lucky. I still think there's something wrong with that girl.
Fox: We don't know that.
Kay: Fox, did half the stories she told us make any sense? She said she was skinny-dipping in the middle of the night when she saved Miguel from drowning. Oh, and that was after her boyfriend dumped her and left her with nothing to wear but a bikini? Oh, come on. How do we know if any of that is true?
Fox: Well, we know one thing's true. She's crazy about Miguel.
Tabitha: Kay is absolutely eaten up with jealousy. If only she knew what your mermaid was trying to get Miguel to do right now, huh?
Siren: Please, Miguel. Come in, join me. I won't rush you. I'll go as slow as you like, deliciously slow.
Miguel: I -- I don't --
Siren: Feel. The water's so warm. It doesn't get this warm in the ocean, not even at the equator. I can take you places you've never even imagined. Get in.
Miguel: Look, Siren, I -- I like you. I really like you, but we just met.
Siren: What better way to get to know each other? I want to share everything with you, everything I have.
Siren: Come to me, Miguel. Come to me.
Jessica: Somebody tell me what's going on. What's the story with the symbol? Why does it match my tattoo?
Man: You have a tattoo of this symbol?
Jessica: Yes. My ex had me get it.
Man: Show it to us.
Paloma: Jessica, don't.
Jessica: Please, like showing my body's a big deal.
Simone: Jessica --
Man: You must come with us.
Jessica: I am not going anywhere until somebody tells me what's going on.
Simone: Will you excuse us, please?
Jessica: What are you doing?
Simone: Ok. We didn't want to tell you this because we didn't know if you could handle it.
Paloma: We're on a treasure hunt.
Simone: Ok, no, listen -- one day we accidentally found Alistair Crane's secret records in the basement of the Book Cafe, and there was some information on some famous paintings that were stolen during World War II. Well, every single one of those paintings had this symbol. There is a connection.
Paloma: We don't know yet, but it has something to do with Whitney, too. We found this in her room under her mattress. That's why we came to Rome to find out what happened with the stolen paintings and whatever else Alistair's hiding.
Simone: And to find Whitney.
Jessica: Well, why does my tattoo match the symbol?
Simone: Well, think about it. Spike made you get that tattoo, right?
Simone: Ok, and we know that Spike was working with Alistair, so there has to be a connection.
Jessica: But what?
Paloma: The only way to find out is to go with these men.
Jessica: But they attacked us earlier!
Man: We didn't attack you. It was a misunderstanding.
Jessica: Oh, a misunderstanding. You almost killed our friend Luis.
Man: Ok, ok. We handled the situation badly. We only wanted you to come with us. We still do. If you want answers about the symbol, it's the only way.
Second man: Signorina, venite con noi. Everything will be explained. Hmm?
Chad: Answer me. Where is Whitney? I heard her scream.
Luis: Chad --
Woman: Sei un uomo matto. I call the polizia.
Luis: No, I am the --
Chad: Luis, I'm telling you this woman is hiding something.
Luis: Chad, come on, let's go, let's go.
Woman: And don't come back, ah?
Luis: All right, all right.
Woman: Va via!
Chad: Yeah, yeah.
Woman: Va via!
Chad: Luis, I'm telling you that woman is lying. I opened that door before and there was nothing there, just the pit. And then I fell in these weird tunnels.
Luis: The Roman catacombs?
Chad: I'm not putting you on, ok?
Luis: No, Chad, I believe you, ok? There's obviously something strange going on around here, and if you're right, if the pit is behind that door --
Chad: That is where I found the pit, yes.
Luis: You're sure? You're not mixed up? I mean, is it "via" this, "via" that?
Chad: Luis, I recognized the symbol on the door. It's the same symbol that was down in the catacombs. All right, there has to be a way down there from here, and we've got to go. I heard Whitney scream. I know I did.
Luis: Ok, ok. I just thought of a way. I think I know a way we can get to these catacombs. Come on. Come on, man.
Woman: Si. Tell the boss they were here but they've left. We've kept them away -- for now.
Whitney: I keep going down the stairs but it doesn't seem like I ever get to the end.
Man: Keep going.
Whitney: Yeah, but what if I hear that growling again?
Man: It's virtual reality. Remember, there's nothing there that can hurt you.
Man: What are you seeing?
Whitney: Nothing. Just more stairs. I heard something. I think someone is following me.
Man: You're imagining it. Keep going down.
Siren: Come to me, Miguel. Come to me where it's warm.
Miguel: It's awfully warm out here, too, Siren.
Siren: Just imagine us slipping and sliding through the warm water -- backstroke, sidestroke, breaststroke.
Miguel: Wait, Siren. No. We can't. This is just too soon. We just met.
Siren: We met when I breathed life into you. Our lips joined, I could feel your heart, the warmth of your blood.
Miguel: Look, I -- I really appreciate you saving me from drowning. I really do, Siren. I just -- I think we need to get to know each other a little more before we, you know --
Miguel: Look, I just think you're just feeling vulnerable right now because your jerk boyfriend left you on the beach and then he took all your stuff.
Siren: What? Oh -- right.
Miguel: I mean, it's only understandable that you'd be looking for some comfort, but, I mean, you'll be mad at yourself in the morning, Siren.
Siren: I'm never mad at myself about anything.
Miguel: Look, let's be friends before we move on to anything else. Ok? So enjoy your bath and -- and we'll talk in the morning.
Siren: But I don't want to go to sleep.
Miguel: Then come downstairs, ok? We can watch a movie, we can talk. Ok?
Siren: If you say so.
Miguel: So I'll see you downstairs?
Miguel: What an idiot. How could I turn down such a gorgeous woman? She's so beautiful, she -- she can't be human.
Tabitha: Look at Kay. She can't get her mind off Siren and Miguel.
Fox: Kay, here's your iced tea.
Kay: Thank you.
Fox: You're welcome. Miguel. I figured you'd be in bed by now.
Miguel: I'm not tired. Neither is Siren. She's coming down in a minute. Maybe we can all watch a movie.
Fox: Good idea. Let's see what we got.
Tabitha: Careful, dear. Here on dry land, that sort of thing is usually done in private.
Siren: What a bore.
Tabitha: Not always. Wait until you get Miguel back upstairs, and then maybe you'll be able to convince him to be party to your party.
Siren: Of course I can.
Tabitha: You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? I watched your little seduction scene in the bathroom in my magic bowl. But you didn't get to first base with Miguel, did you?
Siren: I don't understand. Why wouldn't he make love to me?
Tabitha: Oh, you mermaids are all the same. You think you just have to wave your hair or shake your flipper or flash your maracas and the boys will all be falling at your fin. It didn't even occur to you that Miguel might not want to make love to you, did it?
Siren: Give me some time, witch. He'll want me. Oh, he'll want me.
Siren: No, not again!
Miguel: What was that?
Tabitha: You remember my sweet Fluffy, don't you, Miguel? Your spell to turn Fluffy into a kitten didn't last long, did it? Oh, I think she's peeved because I haven't changed her litter box today.
Siren: Keep it away! Please keep it away!
Miguel: Siren, what's wrong?
Siren: Don't let it hurt me!
Tabitha: Oh, Fluffy's remembered that Siren's a mermaid and she still hasn't had her fresh fish dinner yet.
Tabitha: What if she eats Siren in front of everyone?
Miguel: Good kitty. Good kitty. Wow, Fluffy. You've really grown.
Man: What is it, Whitney? What's wrong?
Man: Focus, Whitney. What do you see? Where are you?
Whitney: I'm in a tunnel. I fell down the stairs. Look, something or someone pushed me from behind.
Whitney: I -- something is here, ok, and it pushed me.
Man: Don't be absurd, Whitney.
Man: What do you see in the tunnel? Where does it lead?
Whitney: I'm not sure, I --
Man: Focus, Whitney. That tunnel may lead to a secret entrance to the Pope's chambers. It may lead us to the chalice that holds the clue to the secrets that may destroy my church. You have to find that chalice, Whitney. Everything depends on it.
Chad: Ok, why are you bringing me back here? That woman is not going to let us back in.
Luis: All right, all right. Now, listen, if this building is just a stage set to cover the pit that you found before, then chances are there's another entrance, and I'm betting we can get there through this grate. Hold on.
Luis: Let's see how deep this thing is.
Chad: I didn't hear it hit the bottom.
Luis: Me either.
Chad: I bet there is a way we can get down to the catacombs from here.
Luis: All right, well, hold on. We don't want to end up killing ourselves, ok? We got to be careful.
Chad: All I worry about is finding Whitney.
Luis: Ok. Why don't you just help me get this grate off, ok? Easy.
Chad: All right, I'm going to go first.
Luis: Hold on a second. I'll see if I can find some rope, ok?
Chad: No, there's no time.
Luis: Chad! Chad, what the hell are you doing? Chad! Damn it. All right, I'm coming down!
Chad: Luis. You all right?
Luis: I think so. Nothing broken anyway. You?
Chad: Yeah, I'm ok. Luis, look.
Luis: This place gives me the creeps, man.
Chad: Yeah, well, don't worry about that. You'll get used to it. This is it, man. This is where I was before.
Luis: All right, well, which way do we go?
Chad: Uh, this way.
Luis: What the hell is that?
Chad: You got me, but it can't be good.
Kay: Ow. Do you have to scream like that?
Fox: It's ok. I was scared of Fluffy at first. But then I realized that Fluffy's just a sweet, little putty tat, aren't you?
Tabitha: Fluffy, Fluffy, will you get back! Get back, do you hear me? We'll change your litter box in a minute, and if you're lucky you'll get a nice snack.
Kay: Uh -- did you guys watch Fluffy? She didn't look at any of us, just Siren.
Miguel: Maybe Fluffy likes her.
Siren: I hope not.
Kay: No, that's the same way she used to look at me when I would come home from the cannery.
Miguel: What do you mean?
Kay: Half the cats in town would follow me home because I smelled like a fish store.
Tabitha: Oh, dear. I think Kay's putting it all together.
Kay: So, first you went skinny-dipping in the ocean for what must have been hours. And now no one can get you out of the bathtub. And then I found a large gold fish scale that you say were bath salts on the bathroom floor. I got it. I know what's going on here.
Tabitha: Oh, no. Kay's realized -- she's realized that Siren's a mermaid.
Jessica: Hey, ok, we can't just go running all over Rome with these men. What if they're killers or something?
Simone: Look, I don't like the idea either, but we don't have a choice. We have to find out what the symbol means.
Paloma: It's got to be the key to Alistair's secrets.
Simone: And the symbol might help lead us to Whitney. Jess, she needs our help. Look, my vote is, yes, we go with them.
Paloma: Me, too.
Jessica: Ok. But we should at least leave a note at the hotel to let Luis and Chad know what happened.
Paloma: Look, it's the doorman from our hotel. Scusa, signore.
Doorman: Si, signorina.
Simone: Yeah, are you going back to the hotel right now?
Doorman: Si, in a moment.
Simone: Ok, if a Chad Harris or a Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald come by, could you make sure that they get this?
Doorman: Of course.
Simone: Ok. We're ready to go with you.
Second man: Yeah, my cell phone just vibrated. I'll check the message and I'll catch up.
Man: Whitney, say something. What do you see?
Whitney: I can't see anything, it's so dark down here.
Man: That tunnel must go somewhere, perhaps straight to the chalice. Keep moving.
Whitney: But something is here. I know it. Something is following me.
Man: Don't be foolish. Keep going.
Chad: What are those things? Whoa, Luis. Those are wolves.
Luis: Wolves? Yeah, how the hell are wolves going to survive in the catacombs?
Chad: I don't know -- by eating people, maybe?
Luis: Chad, grab one of these torches.
Luis: We'll scare them off with the fire.
Chad: Got it?
Luis: All right. It's working.
Chad: Oh, yeah?
Luis: It's working, man.
Chad: Could've fooled me.
Luis: Get back!
Tabitha: Well, if Kay realizes that Siren's a mermaid, all bets are off. That blabbermouth will tell the world, and all our secrets will be out. We'll be burned at the stake on the village green.
Kay: Fluffy can't get enough of you because to her you still smell like the ocean.
Miguel: What are you talking about?
Kay: Well, she said she went swimming in the ocean for hours. And then you add those crazy bath salts to your bathwater that smell like fish. Bad move. Though I don't know why anyone would want to smell like fish. That is beyond me.
Tabitha: I hear it's all the rage in New York. Eau de poisson -- Manhattan absolutely reeks of it. And fish juice bars are springing up like Starbucks.
Kay: Ugh. Thank God Harmony will never be that hip. But just take it from me, if you don't want Fluffy nipping at your heels --
Siren: I don't.
Kay: Well, then you have to get rid of that fish smell. Sometimes it takes two or three baths -- I know. And lemon juice helps.
Siren: Thanks, I'll try that.
Tabitha's voice: There aren't enough lemons in Florida to help this one.
Tabitha: Oh, boys, will you do me a teensy weensy favor? Will you go upstairs and change Fluffy's litter box? None of us are going to get any sleep if you don't.
Miguel: Sure, Tabitha.
Fox: Way to go. Tabitha's teensy little favor is bar none the worst part about living in this house.
Tabitha: The new litter bags are in the foyer, boys.
Tabitha: That's it, 10 or 20 more. That should be enough.
Kay: At least Siren won't go near Miguel while he's changing Fluffy's litter box.
Tabitha: Tad jealous, are we, dear?
Kay: No. I just don't trust her. She shows up out of nowhere and now she's living in this house? We don't know anything about her, or why she's latched onto Miguel.
Tabitha: Well, the second part is obvious. Have you seen his muscles? I haven't seen a man that hot since "Grease 2" came out.
Kay: You're impossible. Something about Siren is really fishy. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to find out.
Jessica: Where are we going?
Man: To the source.
Jessica: The source of what?
Man: The source of the symbol, where all your questions will be answered. Andiamo.
Chad: That's Whitney.
Chad: Whitney. Didn't you hear that scream? It's Whitney.
Luis: I don't know, man, I'm kind of focused on saving myself right now.
Chad: Yeah, well, my torch is out.
Luis: Grab another one, Chad. Ah! Sweet. How about that, wolves? It's like Indiana Jones down here, man.
Chad: Yeah, well, you just watch your mouth, man. We don't need some boulder running us down. Come on. I think I heard Whitney's voice come from down here.
Chad: Damn it. The sound must bounce around down here.
Nun: Grazie. Grazie, dio.
Luis: How did you get down here? Do you speak English?
Nun: You come to stop her, yes?
Chad: Who are you? Stop who?
Nun: Innocenza. O, come si dice? The innocent one. You come to stop her before she destroys us all.
Man: Whitney, stop screaming like that!
Whitney: Oh, God, help me, it's chasing me! Please!
Whitney: No! Get off! Get off!
Fox: Ok, Tabitha, Fluffy's litter box is changed.
Tabitha: Thank you, thank you. Was there enough room in the dumpsters?
Miguel: No. I'm going to have to hire a truck in the morning and drive it down to the landfill.
Siren: I hope you didn't hurt yourself.
Miguel: No, I'm fine.
Fox: Come on, let's go get cleaned up.
Siren: Don't be too long.
Kay: Ugh. Look at her. She is shameless.
Tabitha: Why does that upset you so, Kay? I mean, you chose Fox, didn't you? Why should you care if Miguel and Siren are starting a relationship?
Kay: A relationship? They just met.
Tabitha: Oh, I think I touched a nerve here. You're very jumpy when it -- when it comes to Miguel and Siren. Tell Tabby the truth now. Are you jealous of Siren because you want Miguel for yourself?
Kay: Absolutely not.
Kay: Oh, oh -- wait a second. Ok, not a trace of Fluffy.
Siren: I'm so glad you're back. I missed you.
Fox: That girl does not waste any time.
Tabitha: Well, you look very upset, dear. Are you sure you don't want Miguel for yourself?
Kay: Stop it, Tabitha. I love Fox.
Tabitha: Her tongue speaks one thing, but her eyes say quite another.
Luis: Sister, what are you talking about?
Chad: What did you mean, "the innocent one"?
Nun: The innocent one is dangerous. She's being used, but she knows nothing. Oh, she must be stopped. All is lost.
Luis: Sister, you're not making any sense.
Nun: You are here to stop her, yes? Oh, you must.
Chad: Look, we don't know what you're talking about, ok?
Nun: Ah. Allora, there is no stopping her. We are all doomed.
Whitney: No! Get off of me! Get off! No, get off! Get off me!
Man: Whitney, stop right now! You're all right. It's only virtual reality.
Whitney: What? It was horrible. There was a beast.
Man: Beast? What beast?
Whitney: It was huge, with the teeth, and it was chasing me. Oh, my God. I thought I was dead.
Man: Whitney --
Whitney: Oh, God.
Man: If you can't find that chalice, you will be dead. And your corrupt soul will be damned to hell forever.
Kay: Don't look at me like that. Ok, no matter what you say, I am staying with Fox. We're getting married.
Kay: Look, I am only worried about Miguel because he is vulnerable right now. He just got his heart broken because he couldn't find Charity, thanks to you.
Kay: And now this Siren woman is taking advantage of him. I'm just looking out for him.
Tabitha: Whatever you say, dear.
Tabitha: I don't buy it for a minute. Kay's been on the fence about Miguel for weeks. And then another girl comes along -- and I use the term loosely, of course -- another girl comes along and tries to take him away, so suddenly Kay wants him for herself. Oh, typical.
Tabitha: Thank you, darling. Yes, now we have two women fighting for Miguel -- Kay and Siren. Let the games begin.
Jessica: I don't see anything.
Man: You will soon.
Paloma: What does the symbol have to do with a club? Wow, this is so cool. Thank God Luis isn't here. He would drag me out of here so fast.
Simone: Oh, my God, look. He's wearing the symbol.
Paloma: They all are.
Man: You're wasting time, Whitney. Get back to work.
Whitney: No. No, I'm not.
Man: No? You say no to me? To God?
Whitney: Can I just have a second, please? I mean, I'm just so frightened. This whole thing, and the animal, the strange animal? Please.
Man: There is no animal.
Whitney: Well, then why does my arm hurt like it does, huh?
Man: Well, the way you were thrashing about on the ground, I'm not surprised.
Whitney: It --
Chad: That's Whitney again. We have to get to her.
Luis: What is that?
Nun: Sangue. Blood. It is a sign from heaven. Or from hell. Oh, the innocent one will die.
On the Next Passions:
Siren: Siren's coming to get you, Miguel.
Whitney: It's too dangerous. I'm not going back in there. I'm not.
Gwen: Get out of my bed, you slut.
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