Passions Transcript Wednesday 5/3/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Wednesday 5/3/06--Canada; Thursday 5/4/06--USA

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Provided By Stephanie
Proofread By Jodi

Kay: You just met Siren, and you want her to sleep in your room?

Miguel: So what if we just met? Siren has to sleep somewhere. Why not my bed?

Tabitha's voice: Talk about being mesmerized. Siren already has Miguel hot to get horizontal.

Siren: I'd love to sleep in your bed, Miguel.

Kay's voice: I bet you would, slut.

Tabitha: Look at Kay, Endora. She may be engaged to Fox, but she's outraged that she has competition for Miguel's affections.

Fancy: Oh, Noah.

Fancy: Noah?

Fancy: Where did he go?

Noah: Oh, I hate that I had to leave Fancy to come meet Lena.

Maya: I know you hate being under her thumb. I do, too. But we have no choice. I mean, the F.B.I. wants to arrest us as terrorists if we don't get proof that Lena's involved in terrorism.

Lena: Noah, Maya.

Noah: Lena. Late as usual.

Lena: I reconfirmed the mission I'm sending you both on to find out who killed my partner and get back what was stolen from the trunk.

Noah: How about I put an end to all is nonsense and send you straight to the morgue instead?

Paloma: Wow.

Jessica: Wow. Paloma, what a great room. I still can't believe we're in Rome. The last thing I remember was taking off from Harmony, and now I'm here.

Simone: Well, you slept the whole flight.

Jessica: You know what I like best about Rome so far?

Simone: No Spike?

Jessica: Mm-hmm, yeah.

Paloma: We're glad you left him.

Simone: This time for good.

Jessica: Yeah, you got that right. I'm never going back to that sleaze.

Paloma: Well, this trip can be a new start for you, Jess.

Jessica: Yeah, totally. So, while I start over, what are you guys doing here in Rome?

Chad: Whitney? Whitney? Hey, excuse me, excuse me. Did you hear a woman scream?

Man: Mi dispiace, pero no parlo inglese.

Chad: Thank you, thank you. I have to find Whitney. Whitney?

[Monks chant]

Whitney: Chad.

Luis: Hey, you! Stop! Arrest!

[Monks chant]

Luis: I'm sure I'll find that monk inside.

Luis: What the --

Miguel: Did I miss something? Why do you guys all look like you stuck your finger in a light socket? Oh, wait. You all thought I wanted Siren sleeping in my bed with me?

Fox: Well, you're a guy and she's a girl.

Tabitha's voice: One out of two.

Miguel: You know, I thought Siren could sleep in my bed while I slept in the attic.

Kay: Oh.

Fox: Oh.

Tabitha: Oh.

Miguel: Siren, I can't imagine what you must think of me.

Siren: I think you're cute and sweet and really, really sexy.

Miguel: Thank you, but I didn't want you to think I expected to hop into bed with you so soon after we met.

Tabitha's voice: Miguel obviously hasn't mingled with too many mermaids.

Miguel: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I hope you'll forgive me. No wonder you guys all looked shocked. You guys actually thought I was asking Tabitha if I could sleep with Siren, under her roof when I'm just a guest?

Kay: That's what it sounded like.

Miguel: I'm sorry. I hope I didn't offend you, Tabitha.

Tabitha: Oh, no, no, dear, not at all. No, in my day, I shared my charms with more than one man after knowing him just a short time.

Tabitha's voice: Almost an entire Roman legion, to be exact.

Miguel: So can Siren stay in my room while I sleep in the attic?

Fox: Hey, the more the merrier, right?

Kay: Yeah, I mean, it's pretty crowded here already. Do we really have room for anyone else?

Miguel: You know, Kay's right. I shouldn't be asking for Siren to stay here. I'll just call Mama. I'm sure there's room at our house. Siren could move into Theresa's old room, and I can move back into mine.

Tabitha's voice: I dare not let that mermaid out of my sight.

Kay's voice: No, I want Miguel and Siren here where I can keep an eye on them.

Kay: No.

Tabitha: No. Yeah, it's unanimous. Yes, Siren can -- can stay here.

Miguel: Thank you, Tabitha.

Fox: Now we just need to get Siren some clothes.

Tabitha: Yes, Kay, why don't you find Siren some things to wear, and -- and, Fox, you go upstairs and check on Maria, will you? And, Miguel, get what you need to take to the attic.

Siren: Thanks again for making me human.

[Endora babbles]

Siren: I love living above water.

Tabitha: Terra firma is no place for a mermaid. You belong at the bottom of the ocean, and I am the witch to send you there.

Fancy: Still no sign of Noah. I wonder if his being gone has anything to do with Maya.

Maya: Noah, stop. Killing her is not going to help us.

Noah: It will if she won't be able to hold our past over us anymore. We'll kill her, walk away, get on with the rest of our lives.

Maya: Hurt Lena and you will go to prison, Noah. You'll never see your loved ones again.

Lena: Damn you.

Noah: Right back at you, sweetheart.

Maya: Look, if you really love Fancy, you'll do what Lena says.

Noah: That's easy for you to say, all right? You're not there when she wakes up. She's going to wake up, she's going to realize that I'm gone, and she's going to think that I used her again.

Maya: Well, Fancy being curious is better than Fancy being dead.

Lena: I'm tired of you, Noah. You should have killed me when you had the chance, because now I'm going to kill you.

[Monks chant]

Luis: How am I supposed to find that monk that ducked in here when they're all dressed alike?

Tabitha: Give my regards to Neptune, and back to the sea you go. Endora! Will you stop blocking my spell?

Tabitha: Having Siren save Miguel's life is one thing, but using her to keep Kay with Fox is another. The bod already thinks he loves her when he really loves Kay. So, we can't trust her. Mermaids are notoriously fickle. She might suddenly decide she's in love with Fox. And then she'll leave Miguel alone and needy, so needy that he might just rush off and try and find Charity. And if he finds her and does push-push with her, then it'll be all over for us. So, listen, as your mother, I insist that you get rid of this overgrown guppy now. And I thought Timmy was obstinate.

Siren: Thanks, Endora. I don't want to go back to living in the ocean. I want to live here with Miguel.

Endora: You can't leave Miguel.

Tabitha: Your continued existence here goes against my master plan.

Siren: Sorry. Endora conjured me, so you're stuck with me.

Tabitha: I'm warning you, Siren. This isn't over yet.

Siren: Oh, eat a crab cake. I love Miguel, and soon he will love me.

Kay: Well, I picked out some clothes for Siren to wear.

Fox: Maria's asleep.

Miguel: And I have my bed in the attic ready.

Siren: I think I'm ready for a bath and to go to bed.

Miguel: Come on, I'll show you the room.

Siren: Good night, everyone. Thank you for making me feel right at home.

Kay's voice: Miguel said he loves me, and now he's smitten with Siren? What's going on?

[Monks chant]

Luis: Excuse me. I'm a policeman from the United States, and I was pursuing someone -- a monk. He came in here, but, well, you're all dressed alike. I need to talk to this person. Can you help me find him?

Monk: From the states?

Luis: Yeah, it's a small town. It's called Harmony. It's on the eastern seaboard of --

Monk: Ah, bravo. Harmony. I know Harmony. Hometown of Alistair Crane.

Luis: Yeah, so? What's your connection to Alistair?

Monk: Well, I know him.

Luis: You what?

Monk: I know Alistair Crane personally.

Simone: Why are we here in Rome?

Paloma: We're doing research.

Simone: For an art history project.

Jessica: Oh, well, it makes sense. Rome has a lot of art and a lot of history.

Simone: Even so, there's so much we still don't know.

Paloma: But hopefully we'll learn a lot while we're here.

Simone: And find Whitney.

Jessica: Tell me how she wound up here in Rome again.

Simone: Well, nobody's sure. All we do know is that Whitney disappeared from the convent back home.

Jessica: What?

Paloma: Don't bother asking. That's all we know.

Simone: Anyway, Julian had Crane security trace Whitney here to Rome. Chad flew over on an earlier flight to look for her.

Paloma: Mm-hmm. We have to find Whitney and bring her home in one piece.

Jessica: I'm happy to help you look. I got pretty streetwise because of Spike.

Simone: What are we waiting for? Let's go look for Whitney.

Paloma: Yeah, I'm too excited to be in Rome to sleep, anyway.

Jessica: And I slept the whole way here. Let me brush my teeth and we'll go.

Paloma: Ok.

Paloma: Ok. While we're out looking for Whitney, we have to keep an eye out on this symbol and its connection to the paintings that were stolen from the churches here in Europe during World War II.

Simone: Good idea.

Paloma: Don't you think that Alistair should know where they are? I mean, he has tons of pictures of the paintings with the symbol on them. Simone?

Simone: Oh, I'm -- I'm sorry. I'm just preoccupied. I can't stop thinking about Whitney. She was so frail last time at the convent. I just hope wherever she is she's ok.

Whitney: Chad. Chad? No, no!

[Growling]

[Growling]

Whitney: No, no, no!

[Whitney screams]

Chad: That was definitely Whitney. Sounds like her scream came from this door. Open up! Hold on, Whitney, I'm coming.

Kay: Ok. These are for you.

Fox: Kay, are you sure you want to give Siren those clothes?

Kay: Mm-hmm. They're perfect for her.

Siren: Thanks, but I like these better.

Kay: Oh, yeah, that's actually mine.

Fox: Kay, what's the big deal? You've got a closet full of clothes.

Miguel: Yeah, Kay, this bikini is the only thing Siren has. I mean, her boyfriend drove off with the rest of her stuff.

Kay: I just thought Siren might like the flannel look. But if she wants something else, it's fine with me.

Siren: Thanks, Kay. New clothes for my new life on land.

Kay: Excuse me?

Siren: Uh -- my bathing suit is for when I'm in the water, and this is what I'll wear when I'm on dry land.

Miguel: It's cool how you see things, Siren.

Fox: Totally.

Miguel: I got some fresh sheets. I'll help you put them on.

Siren: Ok.

Siren: It won't stay.

Miguel: I was probably pulling on my side. I'm sorry. Try it again. It'll stay this time.

Siren: Good night.

Fox: Good one, Siren.

Miguel: You make it seem like you've never made a bed before.

Siren: Sure I have. I was just kidding.

Tabitha: Siren's behaving like a bedding quality inspector gone mad. If she's not careful, she'll expose herself as a mermaid who sleeps on a coral reef, not on cotton sheets.

Kay: How can you not know how to put sheets on a bed?

Fancy: Front desk? Hi, this is Fancy Crane. I was just wondering if a friend of mine, Noah Bennett, is down there, or if he left a message for me. Uh-huh. He was there but went out? Grazie.

Fancy: Noah probably went out to buy me flowers. Now I could go out to get a gift for him, too. Oh, what a wonderful night this has turned out to be.

Noah: You don't scare me, Lena. You need Maya and me to carry out your little mission. So put the gun away.

Lena: Either you're very brave, or you have a death wish.

Noah: Oh, it's a death wish, but it's not for me.

Maya: Don't antagonize her, Noah. The sooner we do what she wants, the better.

Noah: Thank you, honey bunch. Now, what is it that you want us to do? We would like to do it and then get on with the rest of our lives.

Lena: We all want certain things, Noah, but that's no guarantee we'll get them.

Noah: Meaning?

Lena: Don't assume that after this mission you'll still have a life. This may well be the last thing you ever do.

[Monks chant]

Luis: You know Alistair Crane personally?

Monk: Oh, our order is supported by a charity funded by Alistair Crane. This church was renovated on money that he donated. He's a good man, a saint.

Luis: Then we must be talking about a different Alistair Crane, because the Alistair Crane that I know is -- he's not good, and he is certainly not a saint. In fact, he's about as evil as the devil himself.

Chad: What the hell happened? I opened the door, I fell in a pit. Landed down here, wherever here is.

Chad: What is this place, some sort of mass grave?

Chad: The symbol -- it's the same symbol that was on the door when I busted through and fell down here. Maybe Whitney opened the door and fell down here, too. Whitney? Can you hear me? It's me, Chad. Whitney, are you in here? Whitney? Whitney?

Kay: How can anyone not know how to make up a bed?

Siren: I grew up sleeping on water.

Kay: Uh, so? Even waterbeds have sheets.

Tabitha: Jeepers creepers. Siren's digging herself into a hole deeper than the Marianas trench. And since you insist on keeping her here, we're going to have to help dig her out. Because if she's exposed as a mermaid, our witchery will be exposed as well. Come on, little miss. Ok.

Tabitha: Well, well. How's everyone doing? What's going on in here, huh? Oh, I see. Oh, Siren's teasing you all, pretending to be the stereotypical dumb blonde like that Jessica Simpson girl, huh? Tres amusant, mon cherie.

Siren: Who?

Tabitha: See?

Kay: No, I really think that Siren doesn't know how to make up a bed.

Fox: Maybe she's from a wealthy family. I mean, I didn't make a bed till I went to boarding school. Had to pay my roommate to teach me.

Siren: That's it. I never made up my own bed because my family's wealthy.

Kay: You said you're from Portsmouth?

Siren: Yes.

Kay: Ok, well, what's your family's name? I'm sure Fox has heard of them if they're rich.

Fox: Yeah. Siren, who are your people?

Siren: They fish for a living.

Fox: Gordon? Van de Kamp?

Tabitha: "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

All: Huh?

Tabitha: Ah, well, we're all tired and it's past Endora's bedtime. We can talk about all this tomorrow.

Fox: I'm down for that.

Miguel: Me, too.

Fox: Come on.

Tabitha: Oh, yes -- out, out.

Tabitha: I saved your scaly tail this time. Next time be more careful. No one must know that you are a mermaid. Understood?

Siren: No problem.

Jessica: Rome is incredible. Wow. I am glad you guys brought me along. Getting away from Harmony makes me realize how insignificant Spike really is, and those stupid smiley-face stickers of his -- I don't need them to get high. Seeing the world, living life -- now, this is a real high.

Paloma: We're happy for you, Jess.

Simone: Yeah, just please promise yourself that you'll never let Spike get to you again.

Jessica: I won't. Hey, can we just focus on finding Whitney?

Paloma: Ok. Where could Whitney be -- a church, a convent? A hospital helping the sick?

Jessica: I don't know.

Simone: You know, let's start with the churches because I see one over there.

Jessica: Oh, yeah.

Luis: Yeah, I have a hard time believing that Alistair would fund any sort of religious order unless he was getting something out of it.

Monk: Please, no, he does it out of pure goodness. He helps us so that we can help others.

Luis: Oh. Ok, good, then maybe you can help me. Like I said, I was chasing a monk and he ran in here.

Monk: Uh-huh.

Luis: Now, I didn't get a good look at his face. There was -- there was just something familiar about him and, plus, when I asked to talk to him he ran away.

Monk: Well, you scare him.

Luis: Maybe, I don't know. The point is he must be a member of your order and that's why he ducked in here.

Monk: Figlio mio. Are you sure of this?

Luis: Yeah. So, you don't remember a monk running in here right before I did?

Monk: Please, when we are praying, chanting, we are oblivious to our surrounding. We -- if you had not touched me, I would not know you came in.

Luis: All right, well, then maybe you can ask someone. Maybe someone else saw him.

Monk: Oh, I doubt it.

Luis: Ok. Well, then maybe when he was running in here he bumped into someone, maybe even stepped on someone's foot, and they looked up and then they saw him.

Monk: Please, I assure you no monk here today saw anything.

Luis: Well, I'm having a hard time believing that.

Monk: Well, you will believe it.

[Monks stop chanting]

Luis: What's going on?

Monk: This is why no monk in our order saw anyone enter this church.

Noah: So, Lena, Maya and I -- we're on pins and needles waiting to find out what our mission is.

Lena: Your attempt at sarcasm is duly noted.

Singer: I can't stand to see you cry

Lena: Now, listen carefully. Follow my instructions to the letter or you'll both be dead.

Fancy's voice: Maybe I should have let Noah tell me what he wanted to say about Maya. Maybe then I'd understand what's going on. Noah was his old self earlier tonight -- fun, sexy, so tender and loving. Then I woke up and he was gone. Noah didn't leave to get me a romantic little something. He came straight here. At least that's what the doorman at the hotel said.

Fancy: Why would Noah come back here?

Luis: Look, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I had no idea that every monk in your order was blind.

Monk: No need to apologize, eh? We are all living God's will.

[Monks chant]

Luis: Were all the monks born blind?

Monk: We were born sightless, yes.

Luis: Wow. See, our parish priest back home in Harmony, Father Lonigan -- he's blind, as well. He wasn't born that way. That was courtesy of Alistair Crane, though.

Monk: Are you sure?

Luis: Oh, I'm positive. In fact, Alistair prides himself on it.

Monk: We must be talking about two different Alistair Cranes. I can't believe that the saintly man that I know would live to hurt others.

Luis: Well, to the Alistair I know, it's just -- just a sport.

Monk: We will pray for him. Our Alistair has done more for this order than anyone thought possible.

Whitney: Chad? Chad?

[Growling]

Chad: Whitney? Whitney! There a lot of dead people in Rome.

Chad: Oh, my God. It can't be.

Chad: It is. I gave this to Whitney before we found out we were half brother and sister.

Miguel: At least the bathtub's ready. There's extra toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet, and the soap and shampoo are by the tub. These are your towels.

Siren: Thanks, Miguel, for taking such good care of me.

Miguel: I'm happy to, even if you hadn't saved my life. But I'm glad you did. Good night, Siren. I'll be up in the attic if you need anything.

Siren: Miguel?

Miguel: Yeah?

Siren: Good night.

Siren: I love being human!

Singer: I'm every woman it's all in me anything you want done, baby I'll do it naturally I'm every woman it's all in me I can read your thoughts right now every one from a to z

Singers: Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, whoa

Siren: First bubble bath. The only thing missing is waves.

Singer: Secrets you can tell mix a special brew put fire inside of you anytime you feel danger or fear instantly I will appear

Siren: I think I'm going to like it here.

Singer: I'm every woman

Tabitha: That is one foolish flounder, letting her tail make a comeback. What if someone sees her au naturel? Endora, why did you change the channel? Oh, no, Miguel's headed back to the bathroom. Oh, the bod is going to discover that Siren's a mermaid.

Kay: I still don't see how someone can get to be our age and they still don't know how to make up their bed.

Fox: Tabitha already clued us in that Siren was pulling our leg. You remember? I mean, everybody knows how to pull sheets on a bed, even rich girls from Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Kay: Yeah, only she didn't do it. You went back in there and helped Miguel do it for her.

Fox: Well, we were trying to make her feel welcome.

Kay: If she feels any more at home, she'd be running around here in her birthday suit.

Fox: Kay, are you -- are you jealous of Siren?

Kay: Jealous? No. It's just what I've been saying all along -- there's something not right about her.

Fox: Yeah, I'll admit she's a -- she's a little different. So what? Miguel doesn't seem to mind.

Kay: You know what, that's another thing. How did they get so close so fast? I mean, Siren is acting like she's fallen madly in love with him, and he's certainly not discouraging her.

Fox: Why should he?

Kay: Because he's -- because Miguel just got out of this thing with Charity, and he needs to take it slow.

Fox: Well, I'm happy for Miguel. I'm happy that he found someone, and Siren -- she seems really nice. Be happy for him, Kay. Who knows, she might be the one.

Kay: Or she could be trouble. I need to find out which.

Tabitha: If Miguel finds out that Siren is a mermaid, she won't swim off into the night, oh, no. No, she will tell him that you turned her from a mermaid into a human, and then what?

[Endora babbles]

Tabitha: "Blah, blah, blah" to you. We'll be exposed as witches and disposed of posthaste.

[Knock on door]

Singers: I'm every woman

Siren: Who is it?

Miguel: Siren, it's me, Miguel. I have to see you. I need you to let me in.

Singers: I'm every woman I'm every woman

Siren: Oh, no. I can't let Miguel see me like this.

Singers: I'm every woman

Noah: You can't be serious.

Maya: What you want us to do is so risky.

Lena: That's the mission. Do it or die trying.

Fancy: There he is. There's Noah.

Noah: They don't call Lena the dragon lady for nothing, huh? What she wants us to do is impossible.

Maya: But we don't have a choice.

Noah: I know one thing. I'm not going to go on a suicide mission for Lena without seeing Fancy first.

Maya: Noah, you can't. Lena thinks you're over Fancy. Even casual contact with her could get Fancy killed.

Jessica: Oh, did you guys hear anything just now?

Paloma: Just the sounds of Rome at night.

Simone: Yeah, even the city noises seem to have an Italian accent.

Jessica: No, no, no, not that. I swear I heard something like we're being followed.

Simone: Maybe it's the sound of our footsteps echoing off the stone buildings?

Paloma: Si.

Simone: Come on, Jess, let's keep looking for Whitney.

Jessica: Ok.

Jessica: Sorry, it's just that I'm used to having Spike watch me work the street. I guess I'm just paranoid.

Simone: You get over that with time.

Paloma: Yeah, Simone's right. Soon Spike will be just a bad memory.

Jessica: Yeah.

[Women scream]

[Monks chant]

Luis: Well, thank you for your time. I'm Detective Lopez-Fitzgerald. Now, if you find that there is anything wrong with your order, please contact me through Harmony P.D. Now, this man may be posing as a monk and using your order for whatever it is that he is doing, ok?

Monk: I pray that it is not so, but I will be vigilant.

Luis: Thanks.

Monk: Thank you. Thanks to you, detective.

Luis: Bye.

[Church bell tolls]

Chad: I don't get what's going on here. Why would Whitney's necklace be dangling from a -- an old knife stuck in a skeleton? A skeleton. Oh, my God. I thought because the skeleton was old, the blood would be old and dry, but it's not. It's -- it's fresh. God, it could be Whitney's. She could've screamed when she got stabbed. Whitney? Where are you? Whitney!

[Growling]

On the Next Passions:

Chad: I'm telling you, man, there's a door in this wall. I was in the catacombs right behind this wall.

Kay: What's this?

Fancy: You bastard!

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