Passions Transcript Tuesday 5/2/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Tuesday 5/2/06--Canada; Wednesday 5/3/06--USA
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Provided By Stephanie
Proofread By Jodi

Tabitha: Honestly, Endora, the hookups and breakups on "Laguna beach" are easier to follow than the couplings going on on Harmony's shore. Thanks to you and your magical meddling, Kay is back with Fox. And Miguel, who our bosses want to be with Kay, is mesmerized by Siren, a mermaid that you made human. Oh, Siren doesn't know her fin from her flipper. She's a fickle fish who's going to cause a lot more trouble than she even realizes.

Siren: I like being with you, Miguel. I like kissing you even more.

Fox: I've never seen two people connected the way Miguel and Siren are.

Kay: Yeah, she saved him from drowning, and she's still giving him mouth-to-mouth.

Fox: Well, I'm happy for him, aren't you?

Kay: I think Siren's coming on a little too strong.

Fox: Well, Miguel doesn't seem to mind.

Kay: No, he doesn't.

Fox: That bothers you?

Kay: No. Siren bothers me. I don't know, there's something fishy about her.

Gwen: She's sleeping like such a little angel. You would never know she was so sick earlier.

Ethan: Well, Theresa did do a good job tonight, don't you think? You're a great mother, you are.

Theresa: Thanks. Thanks, Ethan.

Gwen: What, do you think Theresa's some sort of miracle worker?

Ethan: Gwen, come on.

Gwen: Ethan, we could've taken care of Jane ourselves.

Ethan: I know this. But Theresa did nurse little Ethan through the same problem. So we were lucky to have her tonight to help us.

Gwen: Great, well, Jane is fine now. And Theresa can go now.

Ethan: Where is Theresa anyway?

Gwen: Theresa?

Theresa: Yes. I want Gwen taken care of tonight.

Whitney: [Whispering] Oh, God. What's that red light for?

Man: It's not important. What's important is that you keep trying to get into the Pope's quarters. And remember, a door is not the only way into a room.

Whitney: I don't know what that means.

Man: Just do as you're told. The fate of your soul and the future of the church depends on your success.

Whitney: I just wish I could understand all of this, that's all.

Man: You will understand everything soon. Now, I have to leave you. But I want you to keep trying, keep working. Everything depends upon you.

Whitney: Well, I can't let God down. He gave me this virtual reality headset to practice with so that I could really get into the Pope's private chambers. I need to get in, get to the Pope's chapel, get the chalice, and bring it back here for him to hold. God certainly does work in mysterious ways. Ok, let's see if I can get in.

Whitney's voice: This is it. I'm almost inside.

Sheridan: Oh, no. No, no, no.

Alistair: Well, well, my dear. It seems you've reached a dead end.

Sheridan: Father, please. Don't kill me. James, Chris, Luis, Marty, they all need me.

Alistair: What can I say? Their loss is your pain.


Sheridan: No.

Chris: Sheridan, what is it?

Sheridan: My father's out there. He's planning to kill all of us.

Chad: Luis, how could you recognize that monk? We're in Rome. We don't know anybody here.

Luis: I didn't say that I recognized him. I said that there's something familiar about him, so I'm going to go talk to him and find out what it is. Is that ok?

Fox: What's fishy about Siren? She saved Miguel from drowning.

Kay: She said she was out here swimming, naked.

Fox: So she's got the body for it.

Kay: So? It's cold out. The ocean's probably freezing.

Fox: So she likes it cold. I heard Judge Reilly keeps his mansion at 55 degrees all summer along.

Kay: It doesn't bother you that we know more about some fat cat than we do about Siren?

Fox: We just met her.

Kay: Yeah, well, I want to know more about her.

Fox: I can imagine the rest.

Kay: I mean, I want to know more than how she looks in a bikini.

Fox: Why do you care?

Kay: Because it's Miguel, ok? And blonde Charity already ruined his life once. He doesn't need to end up two for two.

Tabitha: Ha! Kay's right to be concerned, Endora. Mortal men like Miguel can be mesmerized by a mermaid. Complications from this is anyone's guess.

Fox: We should be getting back to town.

Kay: Yeah, Miguel. Let's go. I'm sure Maria is wondering what happened to us.

Miguel: Maria's asleep.

Kay: I meant Tabitha.

Siren: Tabitha?

Miguel: Yeah, the nice old lady we live with.

Siren: "Nice," you say?

Miguel: Yeah, why? Do you need a place to stay tonight?

Kay: What?

Miguel: Look, she's out here all by herself. She's got nowhere to go, Kay.

Fox: Miguel's right. You should pack up your stuff and we'll get going.

Siren: I don't have any stuff.

Kay: How can you not have stuff?

Tabitha: Good question. Let's see how fast miss fish is on her feet.

Theresa: Yes, Collier. I want you to call Gwen into work right now.

Mr. Collier: But it's so late. I only stayed to make sure Gwen was swamped the second she came in the door tomorrow.

Theresa: Ok, it's really very simple. Either you call her into work right now, or watch me go Crane all over your company.

Mr. Collier: There's no need for threats. I'll call Gwen as soon as I call my wife to tell her I may not make it home again tonight.

Gwen: What are you doing out here? Who are you talking to?

Chris: Sheridan, it was just a dream. Alistair's in a coma. We saw him at the long-term care facility. He's trapped in his body. He can't hurt you or anybody else.

Sheridan: Sometimes I wonder. Part of me thinks that even in a coma, my father could still hurt us. I just don't know how.

Luis: Brother, can I talk to you for a sec?

Chad: Maybe he's afraid of us or doesn't speak English.

Luis: You know, Spanish and Italian are similar in a lot of ways. Quiero hablar con usted.

Chad: Tell him we don't want to hurt him.

Luis: [Speaks Spanish] Hey -- hey, stop!

Kay: How can you not have stuff? Where are your clothes?

Siren: I'm wearing them.

Kay: What about your shoes? Your purse? Food? There's nowhere to eat around here.

Siren: Oh, I caught a fish to eat for supper.

Fox: Really? Wow.

Miguel: I'll say. Siren, you're not only a natural beauty, you can actually live off nature.

Siren: My whole life revolves around the sea.

Fox: Grew up along the coast, did you?

Siren: Yes.

Fox: Should we take you back to your place or would you like to come back with us to Tabitha's?

Kay: Where is home, by the way?

Tabitha: Try 20,000 leagues under the sea. I'm not grilling her like a salmon steak; Kay is. And -- and if Siren doesn't pass muster, she'll be exposed as a mermaid, and we'll be outed as witches. Well, you'd worry, too, if you'd been torched as many times as I have, Endora.

Man: Dost thou repent for thine evil ways, old woman?

Tabitha: Never.

Man: Then thou shalt burn, witch. Burn for all eternity.

Tabitha: Thou hast not seen the last of Tabitha.

[Laughing] Let's just hope your friend from fin-land doesn't flounder under pressure.

Siren: I'm not from around here.

Kay: Oh, where are you from?

Siren: Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Kay: How'd you end up here?

Siren: I was on my way to New York with my boyfriend.

Miguel: Boyfriend?

Siren: Ex-boyfriend. He said he would give me a ride to New York because I want to be a model.

Miguel: You'd be fantastic.

Kay: So where is your boyfriend now?

Siren: He took off.

Miguel: He took off? He left you here in the middle of nowhere?

Siren: Yes.

Miguel: What type of a guy is he? I mean, that's terrible.

Fox: I bet he had all your stuff in his car.

Siren: That's right.

Kay: So the only thing you have to wear is that bikini.

Siren: I'm afraid so.

Miguel: Siren, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You look amazing.

Siren: Thanks, Miguel. I love how nice you are to me.

Fox: Wow.

Theresa: So what are you, like, the phone police? Why do you care who I call?

Gwen: Why couldn't you talk to whoever it was in our room?

Theresa: Hmm, maybe because my daughter is sleeping.

Gwen: Really.

Ethan: Honey, why don't you just let it go?

Theresa: You know what, Ethan, it's ok. I actually called the mansion to check on little Ethan. He is fine, by the way.

Gwen: Well, if you're really so worried about little Ethan, why don't you go home?

Theresa: Because I want to make sure that my daughter is all right before I leave.

Gwen: Theresa, Jane is fine. Ethan and I can take care of our daughter without your help. Go home.

Theresa: Ok, Gwen. You know what? I will.

Gwen: You will?

Theresa: Yup. It's obvious that the two of you can manage Jane without any more help from me, so I'm out of here. I'm just going to look in on her one last time before I go. Excuse me.

Ethan: See? She's not using Jane to get to me. She's gonna leave as soon as she says good night to our daughter.

[Whitney grunts]

Whitney's voice: These aren't the Pope's private chambers. Wait a second, it must be another story up. So up I go.

Chris: Here's some chamomile tea to calm your nerves.

Sheridan: Thank you. I'd love some sherry, but I can't drink while I'm pregnant.

Chris: Well, how about I give you a little massage, help you relax?

Sheridan: Thank you. The dream was so real, so vivid, Chris. My father had me cornered in the catacombs with no way out. And he was threatening to kill me and everyone I care about.

Chris: It was just a dream, Sheridan. You saw him earlier at Linden Hill. And the old man's in no state to threaten you or anyone else.

Sheridan: My father doesn't take any chances. He could have his people executing orders he left just in case he was ever comatose.

[Phone rings]

Sheridan: Whenever the phone rings this late, it's never good news.

Chris: Boothe residence.

Nurse: This is Linden Hill nursing home calling for Sheridan Crane-Boothe. May I speak to her, please? It's about her father's condition.

Chris: I'll put her on. Just a moment.

Sheridan: Who is it?

Chris: It's the nursing home. They want to speak to you about Alistair.

Chad: Which way do you think he went?

Luis: This way.

Chad: You know, you were right to be suspicious, Luis. That's no normal monk.

Luis: When we find this guy, I'm coming down on him like a ton of bricks.

Tabitha: Typical mortal behavior. Kay tells Miguel that he better find another love because she's engaged to Fox. And then along comes Siren -- thanks to you, a mermaid turned into a woman -- and suddenly, Kay is jealous of her. Kay better be careful that Fox doesn't pick up on her passion for Miguel.

Kay: Should I call my dad and have him investigate Siren?

Fox: Why would he, Kay?

Miguel: Yeah, she's no criminal. She's incredible.

Kay: No, that's not what I meant. Should I have my dad investigate Siren being dumped by her boyfriend who took off with her clothes and her purse?

Miguel: What's the point, ok? I'm sure the jerk's long gone by now.

Kay: Yeah. So, why didn't -- why didn't you call the cops when your boyfriend took off with your stuff?

Tabitha: Uh-oh.

Siren: I didn't have a phone.

Tabitha: Seaweed-for-brains is pretty fast on her fins.

Miguel: You know, it really says a lot that you put aside your personal problems to save me from drowning.

Fox: Yeah, you're something else, Siren.

Tabitha: You can say that again.

Miguel: So what are we waiting for? Let's take Siren back to Tabitha's. She can shower while you pick out some of your clothes she can wear.

Fox: Yeah, then we can grab a bite to eat. You like lobster?

Siren: I love it.

Fox: Steamed or baked?

Siren: Raw.

Kay: Raw? Like straight from the shell?

Siren: No, with the shell.

Kay: Who eats raw lobster with the shell?

Siren: I do.

Kay: That's weird.

Fox: Ok, will you excuse us for just a second here?

Fox: What are you doing?

Kay: Nothing. Why? What do you think I'm doing?

Fox: You're picking on Siren. And I know why.

Tabitha: Get out the marmalade and butter, Endora. Kay's toast.

Gwen: I do not trust her.

Ethan: She trusts us to look after Jane when she leaves.

Gwen: Well, she's certainly taking her sweet time saying good night.

Ethan: Honey, just don't push it.

Theresa's voice: Damn it, Collier. Call!

Theresa: You know, I just had a thought, actually -- surprising. I thought maybe, I don't know, one of you guys could stay up and, you know, keep an eye on Jane while the other sleeps.

Theresa: I don't know -- you know, if she has this flare-up, you have to catch it, like, right away. So --

[Phone rings]

Gwen: Who is this?

Gwen: Hello.

Mr. Collier: Gwen, I know it's late, but we have a looming crisis. I need you to come in right away.

Gwen: I can't, Mr. Collier. My daughter's been sick.

Mr. Collier: Is she all right now?

Gwen: For the moment.

Mr. Collier: Then I don't see what the problem is.

Gwen: Can't whatever it is just wait until the morning?

Mr. Collier: Never mind. I'll ask Alice Kent to handle it -- while I'll write you a glowing letter of recommendation.

Gwen: Mr. Collier, hold on one moment, please. Collier wants me to come into work right now.

Ethan: What a bastard. All right -- no, it's ok, go on. I'll -- I'll watch Jane.

Theresa: Actually, I can, you know, stay for Jane, as well.

Gwen: I don't think so. Look, Collier can fire me for all I care. There is no way I'm leaving you here alone with Ethan.

Tabitha: Good. Fox knows that Kay is jealous of Siren, ergo Fox must realize that she still has feelings for Miguel. Can you say "beach blanket breakup," Endora, hmm?

Fox: I know what you're worried about, Kay. You're worried that Miguel and Siren are moving too fast, getting too close too soon. And you're worried that Maria's father is going to get his heart broken again by some blonde, another blonde like Charity. But you're worried about nothing. You know, I really think that Miguel is just grateful because Siren saved his life. And she's grateful because she found a man who appreciates her.

Kay: Well, they've definitely been showing their gratitude.

Fox: Ok, you know, it's getting late. We should get heading back to town. You guys ready to get going?

Kay: Siren never said she was coming with us. She might want to stay here in case her boyfriend comes back.

Miguel: Or not. Siren's coming with us.

Fox: Of course you are. You know, it's like Kay said, her dad's the chief of police, so he can do some investigating, find your ex, and get your stuff back for you.

Siren: No. I -- I mean I don't want to cause any trouble.

Tabitha: But you will, dear. You're a fickle-finned mermaid.

Miguel: Sometimes that's the best way to go. Make a clean break and move on.

Kay: What about your family, Siren, I mean, shouldn't you call them, let them know where you are so they can come pick you up?

Siren: My family's at sea on a cruise. I'll get word to them later.

Kay: Why wait?

Miguel: Kay, leave Siren alone. She saved my life and wants to start hers over. Let's help her like she helped me, ok?

[Loud noise overhead]

Siren: What's that?

Fox: Oh, it's the chopper. The Crane helicopter. It's coming to pick us up. It's going to take us to Tabitha's.

Siren: I've never flown in a helicopter before.

Miguel: There's a first time for everything.

Siren: Everything.

Fox: Come on, let's go to the chopper.

Tabitha: Suffering succotash. Trouble used to land on my doorstep, and now it arrives by helicopter. Oh, Endora, your magic has made such a mess of things. Kay is no longer with Miguel, and he's mesmerized by a mermaid that you made into a woman. Hopefully, Fox is going to see how jealous Kay is of Siren. And then he'll realize that she's still in love with Miguel and let her be free to go and be with Maria's daddy. Of course, it may never come to that if she outs us as witches.

Gwen: You can go home because I'm staying here. What?

Ethan: Mr. Collier? Hi, this is Gwen's husband, Ethan. Sorry to keep you waiting. Gwen wanted me to let you know that she will be right in. Ok, thank you.

Gwen: Why did you just do that?

Ethan: Because there's no reason in the world why you shouldn't be able to go to work, all right? Jane is fine. And Theresa and I will make sure that she stays that way.

Theresa: I -- I don't want to cause trouble.

Gwen: Please, you live to cause trouble.

Ethan: Gwen, listen. I love you very much and you're my wife, but you know that Theresa understands what Jane is going through right now better than both of us put together. If that little girl goes into distress or she starts getting sick, I don't feel comfortable -- she will know exactly what to do. That's the only reason I'm suggesting that she stay and you go.

Gwen: Well, I don't trust her.

Ethan: Then trust me. Yeah, Gwen, what happened in the garage will never happen again, I promise you. Things will be fine.

Gwen: I do not feel good about this. But fine, I will go into work.

Theresa's voice: Yes.

Gwen: But I could be back at any time.

Theresa's voice: Gwen is still so afraid to leave Ethan alone with me... with good reason.

Whitney: That's the window to the Pope's chambers. Once I'm inside, taking the chalice and giving it to God will be easy.

Sheridan: Yes, this is Sheridan Crane-Boothe. What's happened to my father? Is he gone?

Nurse: No, ma'am. Mr. Crane is still alive.

Sheridan: Is he still there at Linden Hill?

Nurse: Yes, ma'am. I'm calling because I need a family member's approval to administer a new medication the attending physician prescribed for your father. We tried Mr. Crane's wife and son but couldn't reach them. You were next on the contact list.

Sheridan: Yes, of course. You have my permission. Do whatever you think is best.

Nurse: Thank you.

Sheridan: Nurse?

Nurse: Yes?

Sheridan: Are you sure my father is still comatose?

Nurse: Yes, ma'am. Why would you think otherwise?

Sheridan: Thank you for calling. My father is still in a coma. They just needed my permission to give him a new medication.

Chris: Well, maybe you can relax now.

Sheridan: I'll try.

Chris: Why don't you come back to bed? You can fall asleep in my arms.

Sheridan: That dream was so real. My father was up and about, evil as ever.

Chris: Hey, it was just a dream, Sheridan. And your father is in a coma. And until he comes out of the coma and walks through that front door, you've got nothing to worry about.

Sheridan: I wish I could believe that.

Luis: I'm sure that monk went this way.

Chad: What is it?

Luis: I don't know.

Luis: That's him. it should be.

Theresa:  This is how it should be, Jane with her real mommy and daddy.

Ethan: Theresa, don't.

Theresa: Well, it's the truth. I mean, this is how it should be.

Ethan: Stop it, please.

Theresa: It hurts to go there, doesn't it? To let yourself feel how right this is.

Ethan: Yeah, it hurts.

Theresa: Look, I know that you -- you want to be a really good husband to Gwen. But earlier, when you were so loving to her in front of me, wasn't it just part of you trying to show me that she's your one and only, when we both know that it's not true?

Ethan: You know that you've made Gwen paranoid for us to be around each other. You know she doesn't trust you being alone with me.

Theresa: And you don't trust yourself.

Ethan: No, that's not true. That's not true at all. I'm the one that told Collier that Gwen could come back into work.

Theresa: And was that because you weren't afraid to be alone with me or was that because you saw the chance to be alone with me and you took it?

Theresa: Look, I understand that you have to lie to Gwen. And I know why you feel that you have to lie to me. But, Ethan, to lie to yourself? Denying that you want to be alone with me? Denying that we should be together? It must be exhausting to live such a lie.

{Ethan: You know, I was thinking about something. What if -- what if we weren't so honorable about our marriage vows?

Sheridan: But we are.

Ethan: I know, I know. But just suppose, just for a minute, that we -- I know it's crazy to even think it, but will we always hold fast to our convictions? I mean, could there ever be something that happened that would make your love for Luis and my love for Theresa just win out over everything else? }

Ethan: Truth is -- the truth is I'm a married man that loves his wife and his daughter.

Theresa: Even so --

Ethan: Theresa, you have my gratitude for helping out with Jane tonight, you really do. But that is all that I can give you. There's nothing else that I can give.

Theresa: Ethan, you love me.

Theresa: You know, you can walk away from me, but wherever you go, your heart's going to take me with you. And it's your heart that will bring you back to me.

Whitney: Ok. It won't be long now.

Whitney's voice: Finally, I can get inside the Pope's private chambers. Then I'll get into his chapel, get the chalice, and give it to God.

[Whitney screaming]

Chad: Oh, my God.

Luis: What is it?

Chad: Didn't you hear that scream? It was Whitney.

Luis: Whitney? Are you sure?

Chad: Yeah, I'd know that voice anywhere, man. Whitney's close, and she's in trouble.

Tabitha: If witches had blood pressure, mine would be off the blinking charts by now. Besides the stress of being a single mother and having a flock of mortals underfoot all the time, I now have an incoming mermaid to deal with.

Tabitha: Really, Endora, turning that fickle fish into a -- into a human is really asking for trouble. Mermaids are second only to politicians when it comes to being untrustworthy. And don't forget, I've threatened to feed her to Fluffy. So she might decide to protect herself and -- and expose us as witches.

Fox: Tabitha, you're still up?

Tabitha: Oh, yes, I -- I -- we were so worried about you, we couldn't go to sleep. Was that a -- was that a helicopter I heard?

Kay: Yeah, it's a long story.

Fox: You won't believe the night that we've had.

Tabitha: Try me.

Fox: Well, I went to go find Kay, and --

Tabitha: And who is this, may I ask?

Miguel: Tabitha, this is Siren. Siren, Tabitha, and her beautiful daughter Endora.

Tabitha: Oh, I -- I don't know if any of you saw Fluffy on your way in, but she hasn't had her fish-flavored supper yet and she's absolutely starving.

Kay: No, we didn't see her.

Tabitha: And what brings you to my humble abode, Miss Siren?

Siren: Miguel.

Miguel: Turns out Siren's the blonde that saved me from drowning.

Tabitha: Really?

Kay: Yeah, really.

Miguel: Siren's incredible.

Tabitha: I see.

Miguel: She's been through a lot. Her boyfriend drove off and left her stranded on a beach, just with this bikini she's wearing.

Fox: And we brought Siren back with us because she doesn't have any place to go tonight. So, we were hoping she could stay here.

Miguel: Yeah, in my bedroom, if that's ok.

Tabitha's voice: What will it take for Fox to see that Kay is jealous of Siren's closeness to Miguel?

Mr. Collier: Gwen, have you compiled the inventory papers I said I needed first thing?

Gwen: Yes, I did. I actually just finished it. If that is all for tonight, I really want to get home to my husband and daughter.

Mr. Collier: No, I'm afraid, it's not. I mean, we're going to have to work straight through until morning.

Gwen's voice: Which leaves Theresa free to work on Ethan all night.

Chris: You've gotta get back to sleep. You and the baby both need your rest.

Sheridan: I'm afraid to go back to sleep.

Chris: You're afraid of dreaming about your father again?

Sheridan: What's worse is the fear of that dream coming true. My father could kill me and everyone I care about.

Luis: Chad, if you think you heard Whitney screaming, then you gotta go find her.

Chad: Yeah, but what about the monk?

Luis: Whatever, I'll find him, ok? When I do, I'll find out why he ran.

Chad: Ok, ok. Luis, just be careful, ok?

Luis: I will be.

Chad: Whitney!

Luis: That monk's got to be around here somewhere. It's useless to keep running! I'm going to find you! I don't know why you seem so familiar.

On the Next Passions:

Tabitha: Back to the sea you go.

Fancy: I wonder if his being gone has anything to do with Maya.

Lena: Now, I'm going to kill you.

Luis: You know Alistair Crane personally?

Simone: I just hope wherever she is, she's ok.

Chad: Hold on, Whitney. I'm coming.

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