Passions Transcript Tuesday 1/3/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Monday 1/2/06--Canada; Tuesday 1/3/06--USA
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Provided By Amanda
Proofread by Jodi

Alistair: No, this -- this is some kind of hoax. No, it can't be you.

Rachel: You think you can deny it enough times and I'm simply going to vanish into thin air? It won't work, Alistair. I'm here. I'm here to make you pay!

Alistair: I know it's not going to work. It's not going to work for me, because I -- I know it was obviously you who put that ad in the newspaper just to spook me, along with the rose petals, right?

Rachel: Don't forget the knives.

Alistair: Oh, the knives -- the knives. No. I'll tell you something. I'll tell you, your fakery would probably work with a lot of people, but it's not going to work with me. You know why? Because I know you're an imposter. Because I know you're dead.

Rachel: Look into my eyes, Alistair. Look into them very deeply and then tell me again that I'm an imposter.

Alistair: Oh --

Rachel: Now, do you think it's a hoax?

Alistair: Oh, my God -- oh, my God --

Rachel: Oh, yes, Alistair. It's me, Alistair. Rachel. I've come back from the dead!

Alistair: No! No, no, no, no, no!

[Door slams]

Alistair: No, it can't be Rachel. Rachel is dead. Alistair, she's dead. How could --

Rachel: Aren't you happy to see your one true love?

Alistair: You stay away from me.

Rachel: Oh, but I came back just for you. You're my prisoner now, Alistair. And for all the pain and misery you caused me, and for so many others, I condemn you to death!

Alistair: No, no!

Norma: Help!

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, would you give it up already? We are stuck here in storage till next Christmas!

Norma: This is all Tabitha's fault. She let her witch of a daughter work her woo-woo on us.

Mrs. Wallace: Her what?

Norma: Her woo-woo!

Mrs. Wallace: Oh. You do that to me, and I'll --

Norma: What just happened?

Mrs. Wallace: We shrunk! Oh, as if my bladder wasn't small enough already! Oh.

Norma: Tabitha, make us normal again. If we ever find a way to break this spell and get out of here, it's lights out for Tabitha, permanently!

Tabitha: Murder's moving closer. Murder's about to strike.

Ivy: I don't like this at all.

Sam: There you go -- he's done it again. He's trapped us. I want to get my family home, damn it!

T.C.: The coward's in hiding because he knows I'm going to kill him on sight!

Fancy: I don't know what to think anymore. How can my grandfather think this is a game?

Ethan: He's not playing a game, Fancy. He's playing for real. Our lives are at stake.

Sheridan: Because I killed Rachel. My father not only ruined my life, but he destroyed the lives of everyone that I love. I won't let him hurt you or James. I will see him dead before he can hurt anyone else.


[Clocks chime]

Tabitha: Brace yourselves, people. I believe murder has arrived.

Sam: How many clocks are in this house?

Ivy: 20 or 30.

Pilar: He's got them all set to chime at midnight.

Martin: Midnight New Year's Eve.

Ivy: The notice in the paper about murder happening here tonight -- it must have meant now.


[Chimes get louder]

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Chris: It's ok.

Ivy: Sam.

Julian: This is unbelievable.

Fox: Oh, oh --

[Fancy whimpers]

Tabitha: I was right. It's bloody murder.


Norma: Oh, don't just stand there stinking up the place. Help me figure out how to break this spell and get us out of here!

Mrs. Wallace: We've been trying. Nothing's working!

Norma: Oh, the weather in Harmony's crazier than the shrink says I am. Who ever heard of thunder and lightning in winter?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, that's called thunder-snow. Warm, connective air overrides a cold layer of air that's closest to the ground --

Norma: I don't want a science lesson, I want to get out of here!

[Mrs. Wallace gasps]

Mrs. Wallace: That's it! That's it, science is going to get us out of here!

Norma: How?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, in the old horror movies -- you know, like "Dr. Frankenstein," right? "Frankenstein"? Remember that one? Huh? Huh? Well -- well, things always happen on dark, stormy nights. It was lightning -- lightning that gave Dr. Frankenstein the juice to make the monster live!

Norma: So?

Mrs. Wallace: Ugh. So, lightning could break the spell that's keeping us trapped in here!

Norma: Are you nuts?

Mrs. Wallace: No, hon, that's you.

Norma: Well, at least I know if we're hit by lightning, we'd fry!

Mrs. Wallace: They don't fry in the movies.

Norma: This isn't the movies!

Mrs. Wallace: Do you have a better idea?

Norma: No. No. Well, even if we wanted to get struck by lightning, there's no way for it to happen. We're in here, and the storm's out there.

[Wind howls]

Mrs. Wallace: Whoa.

Norma: Oh.

Mrs. Wallace: Merciful angels, that wind could -- could take off the roof!

Norma: Oh.

[Mrs. Wallace gasps]

Mrs. Wallace: Normie -- Normie, look! Look! Half the roof is gone! We are open to the sky! If lightning wants to find us, oh, we are here, waiting to get struck!

Fox: Are you all right?

Kay: Yeah, I guess so. I thought I was being attacked when the lights went out.

Fox: Yeah, me, too.

Sam: Ivy? Ivy?

Ivy: Oh -- it's Sam. I -- Sam, I thought --

Sam: So did I.

Chris: Sheridan? Thank God you're ok.

Fancy: Noah, I thought I'd lost you.

Noah: Hey, I'm here, all right? And I'm not going anywhere.

Julian: Sweetheart, are you all right?

Eve: I'm fine. No, it's Simone I'm worried about.

Rae: It's all right.

Simone: Oh, my God --

Rae: Don't worry.

Julian: She appears to be fine.

Eve: Yes, but she doesn't know that Alistair paid Rae to seduce her.

Julian: Well, we'll worry about that later. First, we have to be certain she's spared of T.C.'s wrath.

Simone: Mom, Julian, this is Rae.

Julian: Hello.

Eve: Rae. Well, we've all heard a great deal about you.

Pilar: Katherine?

Katherine: Yeah?

Pilar: Are you all right?

Katherine: I'm fine, but I'm just so confused about what's happening.

Martin: We all are.

Jessica: What happened?

Sam: Sweetheart, we're not sure. But the drugs that Spike gave you are starting to wear off, ok? You're going to be fine.

Fancy: What's going on?

Noah: The ad in the newspaper said that there's going to be a murder here tonight, remember?

Ethan: You know, I'll bet what happened was Alistair's sick idea of a joke.

Tabitha: It's no joke, buff boy. There will be bloodshed here tonight.

Fox: You kidding me? Of course it's a joke. Everything he does is a joke, right? Firing me, hiring Spike to destroy Jessica's life? It's all a joke. It's all fun, right? Hell with it. I say we track him down and kill him.

Julian: Well, I must say I agree, son.

T.C.: That's right, yeah, let's do it. Come on, let's do this.

Noah: Yeah, count me in.

Kay: What is going on?

Tabitha: Well, the drama-rama moment you mortals just experienced is a warning that murder has arrived. And someone will soon be dead.

Kay: Who? When? How?

Tabitha: I don't know. But murder still has some games to play before the victim is chosen. Personally, my choice would be Alistair.

Martin: Let's try to find something to pry the steel off the window.

Chris: Maybe the fireplace poker.

Sam: Hey, it's worth a try.

Ethan: Wait, wait. I smell smoke.

Pilar: Oh, my God. Smoke.

Katherine: Where's it coming from?

Sheridan: Oh, no. The house must be on fire!

Ivy: Alistair called us here to burn us alive.



Sam: Everyone get down to the floor and stay as low as you can.

Liz: Well, that shouldn't be too hard for Eve.

Martin: I'll try to find where the smoke is coming from.

Sam: Men, listen up. We need to find a way out of here, and fast. Check all windows and doors for weak spots.

T.C.: It's solid!

Chris: Here, too.

Noah: This wall is solid steel.

Tabitha: This is like watching vermin being fumigated.

Julian: People, listen to me. If I remember correctly, Father installed the steel to protect the mansion in case the locals ever rose up against him.

Ivy: What -- this is no time for a history lesson, Julian.

Julian: But he also had controls in every room.

Katherine: Julian's right.

Fox: Controls? Where are the controls?

Julian: If I remember, they were by the desk or fireplace.

Gwen: Hurry, Julian.

Fancy: We can't breathe.

Julian: Must be somewhere. I know it's in here somewhere. Wait a minute. Here.

[Mechanical sounds]

Chris: It's working.


Tabitha: If tonight's murder isn't by asphyxiation, then how the victim will die and who it will be is anyone's guess. Hmm.

[Tabitha chuckles]

Alistair: Oh. Oh, thank God I gave Rachel the slip. Now I got to call my driver and have him get me the hell out of here. Yeah. Oh, it's a pity I can't watch the chaos I've set in motion. Why isn't my driver answering? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Rachel: The line's dead, Alistair. Care to guess why?

Alistair: You stay away from me.

Rachel: Funny. That's exactly what I used to say to you, but you never did. You had plans for me every night. Well, I've got a few plans of my own tonight, and it's your turn, Alistair. My plans are going exactly like clockwork.

Alistair: Well, your plans aren't going to stop what I put in motion already. Because I -- I took advantage of that little taunt of yours, with the ad in the newspaper. I did. I did. I invited all these people over here for New Year's Eve. And now I'm exacting my revenge. And you coming back from the dead can't stop it!

Rachel: Hmm. You're right, Alistair. Tonight is about revenge. But it's my revenge against you. And as for who dies -- guess.

[Alistair chuckles]

Norma: Didn't your old boyfriend Ben Franklin tell you that lightning kills, especially if you're standing in water?

Mrs. Wallace: That's not water.

Norma: Even worse!

Mrs. Wallace: Would you just trust me? I spent enough time with Tabitha to know how spells work.

Norma: Oh --

Mrs. Wallace: Now, I'm telling you, lightning strikes us, it's going to be setting us free!

Norma: Well, the storm's almost over. If it hits us, we're either going to be free or fried.

[Norma and Mrs.. Wallace scream]

Norma: Wow.

Mrs. Wallace: "Wow" is right.

Norma: Whoo.

Mrs. Wallace: I haven't tingled this much since I spent a week at the lumberjack camp in Calgary.

Norma: Focus, Edna. We're still stuck here.

Mrs. Wallace: Right. Too bad lightning doesn't strike twice in the same pla--

[Norma and Mrs. Wallace scream]

Norma: It worked.

Mrs. Wallace: Ah, ah!

Norma: We're full size and free again! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Mrs. Wallace: See if you can find some gin, because this calls for a celebration!

Norma: We'll celebrate later -- after I kill Tabitha.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, yeah. You go, girl! Gut the witch! But not until she makes me hot to trot!

Tabitha: Now, there wasn't a fire. So the downdraft from the storm must have forced the smoke back into the room instead of going up the chimney. Oh, damn it. Blast. Now, everyone's scattered about all over the place, and I won't be able to keep an evil eye on them. Hello. This could substitute pretty well for my magic bowl. That is, if I have the juice to get it up and running without Endora's help. Bowl-a-vision, bowl-a-vision, you must work here. Show me what's happening loud and clear. Huh. Oh, what a sight. Alistair Crane afraid. And of a woman, no less. Oh, that's it, dear. Keep up the good work. Make the old poop shake in his shoes. It's about time Alistair suffered, for a change. Wait a minute. Maybe Alistair's the one who murder has come to claim tonight. Oh. Well, I sure as hell hope it is.

Mrs. Wallace: I have to catch my breath!

Tabitha: Oh, no. Norma and Edna have escaped from that ornament. And they're back to normal size.

Norma: At least we didn't waste any time going to Tabitha's house.

Mrs. Wallace: Why not?

Norma: The babysitter told us Tabitha was at the Crane estate when we called from the pay phone.

Mrs. Wallace: Hey, where's my change?

Norma: I don't have another diaper for you!

Mrs. Wallace: I meant from the pay phone!

Norma: Oh, you'll get it -- after I give it to her!

Tabitha: Oh, my devil. Maybe I'm the one that murder has come to claim tonight. Oh, what to do? What to do?

Rachel: You haven't changed a bit, Alistair. You're still the same sick control freak you always were.

Alistair: I loved you. I wanted to keep you for myself.

Rachel: I knew you would try to turn this little murder announcement to your advantage. Only things haven't gone the way you wanted, have they? I seem to have caused quite a little panic coming back to you. And with good reason.

Alistair: You're no match for me, Rachel, and you never were.

Rachel: You can run, but you can't hide. You'll pay for your lifetime of hurting other people. And you will pay tonight with your life.

Noah: Whoa, Fox, Fox, Fox -- have you seen Fancy? I've been looking everywhere for her.

Fox: I haven't seen her. I've been looking for Kay. Have you seen her?

Noah: No, I'm sorry.

Fox: Damn it.

Noah: I know how you feel, man.

Fox: Well, whatever happened to New Year's when you watched the ball drop and you had champagne, and you were with the one you loved, huh?

Noah: Yeah, that sounds a heck of a lot better than this. I mean, announcing a murder in the newspaper? God.

Fox: Yeah.

Noah: Wait, what if the victim is Fancy?

Fox: Well, why would she be the victim?

Noah: Look, Alistair said that he's giving me a chance to prove myself worthy of Fancy, but I don't buy it. All right? I think he'd rather kill his own granddaughter than see her end up with me. You know, the poster boy for the great unwashed.

Fox: Yeah, well, that's kind of what I was thinking about Kay, you know? That he'd target her for that reason. Not only are we closer than ever, but she's a Bennett. I was actually thinking about asking her to marry me.

Noah: What?

Fox: Yeah, well, I got to find her first, right?

Noah: Yeah, we need to find both Kay and Fancy, before Alistair tries to keep them away from us, the way he kept Sheridan away from every man she's ever loved.

Fox: You're right.

Chris: Sheridan, I've been looking all over for you. I thought you were hurt or worse.

Sheridan: I'm ok. Cold, but ok.

Chris: What are you doing out here?

Sheridan: I just needed to get some fresh air after breathing in all that smoke.

Chris: Well, let's get back inside. You'll catch your death out here.

Sheridan: Death. I killed my aunt.

Chris: Sheridan, don't.

Sheridan: Letter opener. Blood on my hands. Father telling me that I'm a wicked girl. I killed my aunt, my father's one true love. And because of it, he's destroyed every relationship I have ever had.

Chris: He hasn't destroyed us. And he won't. I won't let him.

Sheridan: That's what Luis and Antonio said, and then Father had them killed, too.

Chris: That was then, this is now. Alistair will pay for what he's done to you.

Sheridan: You're right. Things are different now. Father will pay for what he's done. And soon.

Sam: Has anyone seen Ivy or Jessica?

T.C.: No.

Martin: And I can't find Pilar or Theresa, either.

T.C.: Well, let's split up and keep looking.

Sam: Yeah.

Julian: Oh, my God -- where are you, Eve? I love you so. I pray Liz isn't planning to try to kill you tonight. Eve!

Rebecca: Whoo -- talk about the stroke of midnight -- ooh, that waiter really did know how to bring in the New Year.

Ethan: Rebecca?

Rebecca: Oh! Ethan! Oh, Gwen told me that you were out of your coma, but should you be walking around like this so soon after being bok choy?

Ethan: Thank you, thank you. I'm looking for Gwen.

Rebecca: Oh. Well, I hope that you do not find her until after she kills Theresa. I mean, Theresa is the intended victim, I hope.

Ethan: We don't know, Rebecca, ok? It could be anyone. This could be a hoax, for all we know.

Rebecca: Oh. Well, then just tell me where Theresa is, and I'll kill her myself.

Ethan: Will you just stop? I need to find Gwen and Theresa before anything happens to them, all right?

Rebecca: Ethan, honey, I know you were in a coma for a long time, but you don't have to find Theresa because you are married to Gwen.

Ethan: Listen, a lot has happened that you don't know --

Gwen: Ethan? Mother?

Ethan: Are you ok?

Gwen: Yes. Oh, God. Are you ok?

Ethan: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry we got separated in the smoke in there.

Gwen: No, honey, it's not your fault. Everyone was leaving the living room at the same time. Did they find the fire and put it out?

Rebecca: What? Smoke? Fire? What's going on in my home?

Ethan: No, wait a second -- there was no fire. There was a downdraft in the chimney. It blew all the smoke into the living room, apparently.

Rebecca: Oh. Well, I have to call the insurance people right away.

Gwen: How did you get here in this horrible weather?

Rebecca: Oh, honey, I guess the Crane jet has snow tires. Happy New Year, sweetheart.

Gwen: Happy New Year.

Rebecca: Oh, have you killed Theresa yet?

Gwen: Mother, Alistair has been playing games with us all night. Honey, we have got to go check on the kids.

Ethan: Gwen, Rebecca has a point here. I mean, Theresa could very well be Alistair's victim tonight.

Gwen: Don't even go there right now. We need to check on the children.

Ethan: Oh, God. Theresa was Alistair's victim.

Rebecca: Happy New Year. Theresa is dead.

Tabitha: We dark-siders love murder and mayhem, except for when it's our own. This old witch is high-tailing it home before Norma and Edna get here to behead me.

Mrs. Wallace: What's the rush, witch?

Tabitha: Oh. Edna. Run for your life. Run, dear. There's going to be a murder up here at the mansion tonight.

Mrs. Wallace: Yeah, Tabby. You're going to be getting the ax courtesy of you-know-who. And me? I'm going to be cheering her on.

Tabitha: Yes, yes. I know you're miffed about being shrunken and stuffed into that ornament with Norma, but Endora just did it to protect me.

Mrs. Wallace: Well, I -- I don't care a witch's brew about that. You -- you promised to make me young again -- look at me. I am old and gray and wearing diapers.

Tabitha: Yeah. Are you still wearing that same one on you had at Christmas?

Mrs. Wallace: Ew, ew. God. You sound just like Norma. Oh.

Tabitha: Yeah, Norma. Norma. If you're here, that means that Norma's lurking around here somewhere.

Mrs. Wallace: Mm-hmm, yeah. She just stopped by the potting shed to sharpen the ax.

Tabitha: Ah, well, thank Hades I've still got time to escape! Oh! Or not. Oh.

Noah: Fancy.

Fancy: Noah?

Noah: Oh, thank God I found you. Oh, I never want to lose you again.

Fancy: Me, neither.

Fox: Kay, thank God.

Kay: Hey. Oh.

Fox: I was worried about you.

Kay: Yeah, well, I ran out of the living room to get some air, but when the smoke cleared, you weren't anywhere around.

Fox: Well, we all got separated. I was afraid you'd be murdered.

Kay: I was afraid you'd be murdered, too. I love you.

Fox: I love you.

Both: I love you, too.

Fox: Come on, let's go.

Julian: Eve, are you all right?

Eve: Oh, I'm fine.

Liz: Hello! I'm here, too!

Sam: Ivy.

Ivy: Oh, Sam. Oh, Sam.

Jessica: Daddy?

Sam: Jessica. Oh.

Martin: Pilar --

Pilar: Oh, Martin, thank God.

Martin: Baby, come here.

Katherine: Are you both ok?

Pilar: Yes. Are you?

Katherine: I'm fine, but where is Theresa?

Rebecca: I have to talk to housekeeping about leaving the trash on the floor.

Ethan: Rebecca, cut it out.

Rebecca: But Theresa is dead, so we can celebrate later after Ethan takes you, his wife, to see your daughter.

Gwen: Oh, my God, Ethan.

Ethan: What did Alistair do to you? Well, we want to get things done for people

Ethan: Theresa, you can't be dead. You got to be all right.

Gwen: Honey, we need to get the children out of the mansion, away from Alistair before he does anything else.

Ethan: Honey, we can't just leave Theresa here.

Rebecca: Oh, yes, we can.

Ethan: No, I cannot just leave her here. I've left her too many times already.

Gwen: What?

Rebecca: Oh, my God.

Ethan: Gwen, I shouldn't have left her and you in the living room. She wouldn't have been alone and vulnerable like this.

Rebecca: "Vulnerable"? Well, I doubt kryptonite would faze the bitch.

Gwen: Ethan, if you don't come with me right now to check on the kids --

Ethan: Wait, hold on. She's got a pulse.

Rebecca: Oh. Damn it!

Ethan: Theresa? Theresa, hey. Hey. I think she needs C.P.R.

Rebecca: Oh, oh, that is it.

Ethan: Theresa?

Rebecca: That is it. Ethan -- Ethan, if you give that bitch mouth-to-mouth, I swear --

Theresa: Ow --

Rebecca: I am going to rip your tongue out --

Ethan: What?

Theresa: My head.

Ethan: Theresa, oh, my God.

Theresa: Oh.

Gwen: Honey?

Theresa: Where am I?

Ethan: Theresa, hey, hey, listen to me, listen to me. You're in the mansion and we found you on the floor here.

Gwen: Sweetheart, she is fine. We need to check on the children.

Ethan: In a second, Gwen, ok?

Gwen: Ethan, no, now! The children need us now! We need to get them out of here.

Ethan: Can you get up?

Gwen: Wow.

Theresa: Yeah.

Ethan: It's ok.

Theresa: Yeah, we need to get my children to safety.

Gwen: Yes, Theresa. Little Ethan is your son, but you know we have custody of Jane.

Theresa: Jane is still my daughter, Gwen.

Ethan: Stop it, you two. We don't have time for this right now.

[Phones beep]

Ethan: What is this?

Gwen: Is it a text message?

Ethan: Yeah, it is. Pilar's in the living room -- she's in trouble.

Rebecca: Why, did her green card expire?

Theresa: I've got to get to Mama.

Ethan: I'll help you.

Rebecca: Well, I'll tell you what my New Year's resolution is -- to get Theresa out of our lives for good.

Simone: Rae! I've been looking all over for you.

Rae: Let's get out of here.

Simone: No, no. Can we find my parents first, make sure they're ok?

Rae: They're not ok with us being together. Both your mom and dad were giving me weird looks before the lights went out, especially your dad. You know, it's like he blames me for you being gay.

Simone: You know what? He's having a hard time coming to terms with my coming out.

Rae: And he's taking it out on you.

Simone: Well, I can't turn my back on him the way he turned his back on me. Maybe if he sees this, he'll come around.

Rae: Simone, wait. This is getting more complicated than I thought.

Sheridan: Oh, no. Something's wrong with James.

Chris: What?

Sheridan: He's hurt badly in the living room. If we want to save him, we've got to get down there right away.

Chris: How can James be here? We left him at the B&B with a sitter.

Sheridan: My father might be using him to hurt me just like he used Marty.

Chris: If Alistair messes with my son, I will kill him!

Eve: This says Simone has collapsed in the living room?

T.C.: Gay or not, if Alistair touched my daughter, I will kill him.

Julian: There's no time to waste.

Liz: Hey, Simone's my niece! Wait for me!

Ivy: I've been at enough parties here that have ended badly. Let's just get out while we can.

Sam: Yeah.

Fancy: Oh, Mother.

Ivy: Oh, Fancy.

Sam: Help me with Jessica.

Noah: Whoa, whoa.

Ivy: Ok.

[Phones beep]

Fancy: I'm getting a text message.

Ivy: Oh, gosh. Mine's --

Kay: Me, too.

Ivy: Me, too. Ethan's in trouble.

Noah: He's had a relapse in the living room.

Sam: Well, let's hurry up and get there first before Alistair does.

Ivy: Yes.

Fancy: Every time I turn around, Grandfather is doing some new, horrible thing.

Sam: There is nothing that man is incapable of. Come on.

Ivy: Your grandfather hired Spike to seduce Jessica, he planted drugs in Noah's car, and he's had two of Pilar's sons killed. That man is driven to ruin people. Now, let's get out of here.

Pilar: Oh, my God. Theresa's in trouble in the living room.

Katherine: Oh, no. Surely Alistair wouldn't brutalize her in front of everyone.

Martin: Alistair's owned up to so many things at this point, what does he have to lose? Come on.

Pilar: Let's go.

Rachel: Alistair's brought so much horror to these innocent people. I just pray that he's not about to bring more. And if he is, I'll stop him.

Norma: No one stiffs Norma for a motel room and lives to tell about it.

Tabitha: Is that why you've been trying to kill me all of these years? But -- but, Norma, why don't you just let me write you a check for what I owe you right now, plus interest of course.

Norma: I can't put a price on Daddy's pain and suffering! Oh, he was never the same after Tabitha left.

Mrs. Wallace: Aw.

Tabitha: His skull fell off his corpse in a rocking chair accident.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh.

Norma: The point is Tabitha left me to pick up the pieces of my shattered life, and now I'm going to leave you in pieces!

Tabitha: Stop!

Mrs. Wallace: Hack away, there, Normie, because Tabitha promised me good looks, great clothes, and bladder control. As you can see, she's 0-3.

Norma: Ok!

Tabitha: No, no, no, no, no! Stop!

Mrs. Wallace: Now what?

Tabitha: You can't kill me.

Mrs. Wallace: Why not?

Tabitha: It -- it's too dangerous.

Mrs. Wallace: Well, maybe for you, but not for us, toots.

Tabitha: No. Now, listen, listen. Trust me on this one, ladies. Something ghastly is going to happen here at the mansion tonight. And you know what Alistair's capable of. Fathering your devilish daughter is the least of his evil deeds.

Mrs. Wallace: Well, look, ok, I know, big Al is big trouble, but -- but so what?

Tabitha: Well, Alistair gathered a group of people here after announcing in the newspaper that there was going to be a murder here tonight. So if you don't leave, you'll be blamed for it. Eluding capture will be impossible, and once they put you in a cell, it won't be a nice padded one with pretty pink pills for the asking. It will be a cell on death row!

Norma: She's lying.

Mrs. Wallace: Of course she is.

Tabitha: No, look, look. Let me show you. Come here, over here. Look at this. Look! That is what you'll be blamed for if you don't leave now.

Mrs. Wallace: Merciful angels!

Norma: Goodness gracious. If we get blamed for that, we'll get the ultimate electroshock treatment.

Mrs. Wallace: The electric chair.

Tabitha: No one is prepared for the horror that is coming down the pike -- no one.

Norma: Goodness gracious, that's absolutely barbaric.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh. I agree with our expert in uncivilized behavior.

Tabitha: They'll blame you, Norma.

[Norma gasps]

Tabitha: You're an escaped mental patient -- not that there's anything wrong with that, but you know how people jump to conclusions.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, that is so true. I mean, just because I'm old, gray, and wear a diaper, men don't think I'm good in the sack!

Tabitha: Yeah. It's the only way for you to stay free, Norma. You must leave Harmony now and never come back. You, too, Edna.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh. She's right. Let's get out of here. Come on.

Norma: I'll be back, Tabby. One day when you least expect it, I'll be back for a pound of flesh -- your flesh.


Sheridan: Where's James?

Chris: My son. Where is he?

Tabitha: Don't you know?

Sheridan: We got a text message saying he was here in dire straits.

Tabitha: Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I haven't seen him.

Sam: Ethan! Is he all right?

Theresa: Where is Mama? Is my mother ok?

Ivy: Ethan, you're all right?

Theresa: Is my mom ok?

Chris: Where's my son?

Noah: Ethan, we got a text message saying that you had a relapse.

Gwen: We got one saying Pilar was in trouble.

Eve: Simone? Is she all right?

Tabitha: Simone's not here.

Julian: We got a text message that she collapsed here in the living room.

Pilar: Theresa. Oh, my God. Thank God you're all right.

Theresa: Thank God you're ok.

Pilar: Oh.

Kay: Ok, we got a text message saying that Ethan was having a relapse.

Ethan: I'm fine. We're all fine.

T.C.: What the hell is going on?

Katherine: Good question.

Sam: Well, it seems we all got text messages to bring us back into this room.

Pilar: The man is a monster.

Katherine: A beast.

Tabitha: Speaking of Alistair, I wonder where he is. Does anyone know?

Eve: Oh, my God.

Katherine: Oh, my God. Alistair.

Kay: Oh -- oh, my God.

Sam: Oh, my God.

Ethan: Oh, my God.

Tabitha: Oh. Oh.


Tabitha: Oh, my --

Sam: Oh, my God.

Tabitha: Alistair.

Fox: Huh.

Fancy: We have to find out who murdered my grandfather!

Ivy: It was you, wasn't it? He threatened to go public, and you tried to kill him.

Simone: It was you, Daddy! You did it!

On the Next Passions:

Gwen: I'm afraid that Theresa's going to try and kill me next.

Katherine: You're alive?

Rachel: Yes, Katherine, I'm alive.

Fancy: Nothing will ever come between us again.

Sheridan: Make love to me.

Pilar: My husband is back with his mistress.

Katherine: Pilar.

Sam: I can't believe your nerve, showing your face again after what you did to my daughter last night!

Spike: I just explained to her. Alistair told me to do this.

Sam: I should've killed you a long time ago.

Spike: No. I had nothing to do with it!

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