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Julian: Damn it, Liz, get out of my way!
Liz: Oh, come on, Julian, you don't want to leave yet. Don't you want to wait for my sister to dump you after finding us together on the floor just about to make love?
Julian: You threatened to kill me and you threatened to kill Eve if I refused to have sex with you. She will understand that. She will know I was trying to satisfy some insane craving of yours.
Liz: Who said I was satisfied?
Julian: You go to hell, you malignant --
Liz: Eve, you would not believe the things that Julian just said to me while you were in the E.R. Talk about hot.
Julian: Yes, I told her to burn in hell.
Liz: Men hate getting caught with their pants down. But catch him you did -- your fiancé with me, your sister.
Eve: You know, Liz, you don't have to remind me about what I saw.
Liz: You know, I told Julian that this would be the last straw.
Eve: And you're right. When I saw you and Julian earlier, something inside me snapped. I am sick to death of you, Liz! I am sick and tired of you trying to lay waste to my life.
Liz: But Julian --
Eve: I am so sorry that you think that I abandoned you when you were young, and I am sorry that your father molested you. I have tried to make up for it more times than I can count, but you are not interested in healing! You are a vengeful, hateful bitch, and I am not going to feel guilty about this anymore!
Mrs. Wallace: And then Precious -- she was my orangutan nurse -- she switched the teacups so that my evil daughter drugged herself and not Sheridan!
Norma: I think it's time to call you-know-who and scare the you-know-what out of her.
Mrs. Wallace: I'm down with that. Would you excuse us, please?
Man: He is too an alien! That's how they're able to keep on fixing his heart. I'm telling you, he's really the one in charge, not --
Mrs. Wallace: Excuse me, excuse me. We would like to use the phone, too, please.
Man: Wait your turn, you stinking old -- I mean, ladies first.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Well, thank you. It must be my new lavender-scented diapers.
Tabitha: Choo-choo-choo-choo. Oh, Kay thinks she and Fox are back on track. But we know different, don't we, Endora? What with the spell I cast for Fox to win at business and lose at love, coupled with the fact that Ivy is using Valerie to sideline Kay, whatever Kay does to hold on to Fox will be derailed. Whoo!
Tabitha: Funny, huh? Yeah.
Kay's voice: So much for pestering Fox about work, Valerie.
Valerie: Why isn't Fox answering his cell phone? If I don't get in touch with him, the Singapore project is going to be dead in the water, and I am going to look bad to Fox. Ugh -- and to Ivy.
Theresa: Hey. How is that, huh? Nice? You're safe. You're safe with me. Gwen can't find you, so she can't take you off life-support and rob you of your chance to be whole again. I'm not going to let her. I'm going to bring you back -- back to me, back to little Ethan and Jane. We're going to live happily ever after. I promise.
Noah: I don't know which is crazier -- Theresa thinking that she can bring Ethan out of an irreversible coma, or thinking that they can hide out at the Crane cabin until Ethan is miraculously cured. God, sooner or later, someone's going to find them. When that happens, Theresa and I will be arrested for kidnapping. God, I just hope Fancy can forgive me. I broke her promise to be honest and upfront with each other about everything that affects us as a couple.
Fancy: Why did Noah lie to me? He said his new job had him driving around, so what was his car doing parked at the hospital when he was supposedly working? And who was on the phone in the background when we spoke? If it's another woman, I'll kill him. Ok, remember what Aunt Sheridan said, and don't overreact. I'll call him, get him to stop so we can talk. Ooh! Stupid cell phone! The battery's dead and I don't have the car-charger thingy. I'll just have to follow Noah and see where he's going.
Valerie: Maybe I don't need Fox. Maybe I can save the Singapore project on my own. And then I'll definitely be in as Fox's assistant and Kay will be out. "Gentlemen, what additional figures do you need to close this deal?" Ok, never let them see you sweat. "I'll have those figures to you soon." Damn it! I can't open the file those figures are in without the access code, and, of course, Fox is the only one who has it. Oh, he's still not picking up his cell phone. Fox and Kay have to be at Tabitha's. I'll try the house again. Ugh, the line is still busy!
Liz: You need to feel guilty, Eve. My pain and my suffering -- it's all your fault, yours and Julian's!
Eve: No. No, Liz, because you could have gone to mother for help, or to our minister or to the police, but you didn't. You chose not to do that. You chose to do nothing except to blame me for something that I could not have possibly known was happening!
Liz: Julian forced himself on me in Boston.
Eve: Yes, Julian and I were far from perfect people back then, but we have tried to make amends. And haven't you spit on everything that we've suggested to do for you? Well, that's enough. Enough is enough. I am not taking your abuse anymore.
Julian: Nor will I. Your reign of terror is over, so why don't you just go back to St. Lisa's, or go to hell for all we care. Just go.
Liz: I am not going anywhere, Julian! I'm not going to do it!
Julian: All right!
Theresa: Now, isn't this wonderful? The two of us here together? I got to tell you, it's been quite a busy day. Sneaking you out of the hospital with Noah's help, eluding the police on the way out of Harmony -- all to try to keep Gwen from killing you. She doesn't believe that you're going to get better, Ethan, but I do. I know you will. I'm going to make it happen. You are going to come back to me and little Ethan and our daughter. Oh. Looks like it could snow tonight. And wouldn't that be romantic if we got snowed in together? Hmm. Then when you come out of this, we could go outside. I don't know, we could take a sleigh ride together or build a snowman. We could make love in front of a fire. It's going to be wonderful. You just wait and see.
Radio announcer: Ethan Winthrop, grandson of former governor Harrison Winthrop, was kidnapped from Harmony hospital earlier today. Sources tell WNGL radio that the suspected kidnapper is none other than Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald-Crane, Mr. Winthrop's former fiancée and the mother of his baby daughter, who shocked the world when she married billionaire Alistair Crane. An A.P.B. has been issued for Mrs. Crane and her unknown male accomplice.
Noah: I hope Fancy doesn't figure out that I'm the one who helped Theresa kidnap Ethan before I have a chance to tell her myself. God, she'll think I broke my promise.
Fancy: Neither one of us comes from parents who were able to stick it out through thick and thin.
Noah: All the more reason that we should work to achieve what they couldn't accomplish.
Fancy: Maybe. Maybe if we resolve not to let anything from within or without break us up, we'll stand a better chance.
Noah: Sounds good to me.
Fancy: Ok. It's a plan.
Noah: Anything that helps keep you in my arms forever.
Noah: I hope I can convince her that I did this to help Ethan, not because I'm trying to side with Theresa against Gwen and Ethan's family. Oh, God, come on, Ethan is my half brother -- and he's Fancy's, too. She'll get it. She'll understand why I did it. At least I hope she will.
Fancy: "When you told me last night I was the love of your life, I knew you truly meant it. Noah, you always told me if our relationship were to end, you'd never love anyone the way you love me. You swore if you ever met another girl, she'd just be someone to pass the time with, that she'd never mean what I mean to you. Vows are solemn promises, and you vowed you'd never love another girl the way you love me." If it's not another woman, why would Noah lie to me about where he's been since Ethan was kidnapped? We promised each other not to keep secrets. I have to find out what Noah's hiding.
Tabitha: Well, time for beddie-byes, Endora. Tonight Mommy's going to tell you a story about the night that Timmy and I took Kay's cousin Charity --
Tabitha: And dumped her on the railroad tracks. Oh, the Boston Express was minutes away.
Tabitha: Oh. Who in Hades could that be calling my cell phone now? I only keep it for evil emergencies. Oh, my devil! Oh, supposing there's been an outbreak of goodness in Harmony. Oh, we dark-siders would have to mobilize immediately. Hello?
Norma: O, kill the witch Tabby chop her into pieces o, kill her o, kill her this year for sure
Tabitha: Norma, where are you? You're still locked up, I hope?
Norma: For now. We're just calling to remind you we'll be slaying you very soon!
Tabitha: Is Edna still in there with you?
Mrs. Wallace: You bet your bippy, tabby cat! And Norma's not the only one with an ax to grind. You know that black magic makeover that you gave me? Well, it wore off! Now I'm gray, droopy, and leaky all over again!
Tabitha: Well, that's no reason to hook up with Dizzy Borden.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, well, call me crazy, it's reason enough. After all those years living with my very evil, psychotic daughter, believe me, Normy's looking almost sane.
Norma: Oh. Well, thank you, dear.
Mrs. Wallace: You're welcome. So we're going to see you soon, because Normy wants to give you 40 whacks and I think I'd like to be there to watch.
Mrs. Wallace: Bye-bye!
Tabitha: No, wait, wait!
Mrs. Wallace: Yahoo! I bet you Tabby wishes she was wearing a diaper right about now.
Tabitha: Damn! You know, Endora, that Thanksgiving call they made was no fluke. Norma and Edna Wallace have teamed up to take me out -- and I don't mean to dinner! "Uh-oh" is right. They're serious about coming to kill me, you know. Oh, what is a witch to do? What is a witch to do?
Julian: All right --
Eve: Stop it! Stop it! Julian is not your personal punching bag, and neither am I!
Liz: I hate you. I hate you both.
Julian: Yes, as we both suspected.
Eve: We are sorry that you suffered at the hands of your father --
Liz: And Julian's.
Eve: But we cannot go back and right past wrongs no matter how much we may want to. And I would want to, Liz.
Julian: So would I. Had we to do it over again, we would've given you the help you needed, not added to your pain.
Liz: Oh, but you did. You both did and you're both going to pay for it.
Julian: Enough is enough! We have tried countless times to help you and you've refused every time. I used to think it was because you were too damaged to ever heal, but now I think it's because you -- you like playing the spoiler. You get off on it.
Liz: Disgusting son of a bitch!
Eve: No, no, Julian is right. The abused has become the abuser.
Julian: But, you see, we're not going to take it anymore. Eve and I are in love with each other, and there's just not a damn thing that you can do about it.
Eve: You need to move on and find someone, Liz. Find someone to love who can truly love you.
Liz: It's too late. Antonio's dead.
Eve: No. It's never too late for love.
Julian: If you're not at least open to the possibility, my dear friend, you could very well end up bitter and alone.
Liz: No, Julian. I'll be happy. I'll be happy because I've been able to keep you and Eve from ever having a moment's peace.
Noah: All right. I got to get Theresa enough food and supplies in case it snows, and then get back to Harmony and tell Fancy what I've done.
Fancy: Unless Noah killed someone and stuffed them in his trunk, he was definitely by himself when he left the hospital parking lot. But why would he drive to a convenience store all the way up here if there are several in Harmony? Is it safer? Oh, God, it has to be another woman. Maybe it's the girl who wrote that love letter Noah carries around in his wallet. No, don't overreact. Noah has me. Why would he want anyone else? Ok, so if it's not another woman, why would he lie to me about where he was before? Something's up, and I have to find out what it is.
Fox: That was just --
Kay: Yeah, for me, too.
Fox: I'm glad we did that. I missed you.
Kay: I missed you, too. This is nice.
Fox: It is nice, isn't it? Peace and quiet, no interruptions. So let's talk about you for a second.
Fox: Still love me?
Kay: More than ever.
Fox: Then I'm glad to hear that. You know, I was afraid when I didn't go with you to the hospital to see Ethan that I touched a nerve.
Kay: Well, you did, until you explained why you had to keep working.
Fox: I remember when -- when Ethan was still the Crane heir. He said he wanted to use Crane to make a positive difference in people's lives, you know, so it's something that always stuck with me. So, you know, when I was faced with the decision of going to the hospital to watch my brother die or getting one step closer to making his dream come true --
Kay: You did what you thought Ethan would've wanted you to do.
Fox: Yeah. I couldn't do anything to help Ethan. But the Singapore project's going to affect thousands of people worldwide.
Kay: Well, I shouldn't have judged you. You did the right thing.
Fox: I'm glad we're ok.
Kay: We're better than ok.
Valerie: Oh, great! Fox still isn't answering his cell phone, and I still don't have the code to access the file the Hong Kong backers need for the Singapore deal. They said if they don't have it in a half an hour, the deal is dead. I'm going to have to go to Tabitha's, tell Fox what happened, and hope it's not too late.
Theresa: You know, Ethan, the sooner that you come out of this, the sooner that you get to see little Ethan and Jane. And I haven't quite figured this out yet, but when you do come out of this, I'm going to find a way to sneak them up here so they can live with us. And then the summer -- I don't know, we could go boating on the lake or we could take long walks in the woods. And after we tuck the kids in bed at night, we could make passionate love under the stars. Ethan?
Ethan: We don't need the stars to make love.
Fancy: Why is Noah buying all that stuff? Is he a closet binge eater? No, nobody binges on oatmeal. Three boxes of cereal? That's enough to last for weeks. If Noah was leaving Harmony, he would tell me, wouldn't he? There's only one way to find out.
Cashier: Wow, somebody has got quite an appetite. What's your secret, hon?
Fancy: Yeah, that's what I want to know.
Noah: Excuse me?
Fancy: How can a piece of eye candy like you eat all this stuff and still look so mmm-mmm-good? Unless, of course, you're feeding an army?
Noah: No, no, just a woman I got to get back to.
Fancy: Oh, my gosh. It is another woman.
Fancy: I can't believe this is happening. Noah promised he'd never do anything to hurt me, and now I find out he's seeing another woman? No, wait, Noah wouldn't do something like this. At least I don't think he would. But why else would he drive all the way out here to stock up on groceries unless he and his slut plan to hole up together in their love nest? Noah has some nerve playing me for a fool. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. And then I'll kill him. Where is he?
Fancy: Oh, Noah’s leaving!
Cashier: Excuse me, ma'am. That'll be $2.50 for the magazine.
Cashier: That magazine that you're holding -- it's $2.50, plus tax.
Fancy: Keep the change. Soaps are like life -- you never know what will happen next. Shoot, I missed him! I'll have to follow Noah to find who he's shacking up with.
Theresa: Oh, my gosh, Ethan. I do not believe this. I cannot believe it -- you're out of your coma.
Ethan: I owe it to you, you know.
Theresa: I don't know what I did.
Ethan: Theresa, you saved my life, is what you did. I heard everything when I was comatose, I heard everybody. Gwen wanted to pull the plug and I would've died if it hadn't been for you and Noah taking me out of that hospital and bringing me here.
Theresa: I begged her, Ethan. I begged her not to take you off life-support, but she -- she had everyone convinced that it was for the best, and I just didn't want to let you die, you know?
Ethan: And --
Theresa: And legally I couldn't -- I couldn't stop her.
Ethan: And you followed your heart, is what you did.
Theresa: Yes, and I brought you back to me.
Ethan: I love you for helping me. I really do.
Theresa: Then you're not upset about the poison?
Ethan: No, I know it was Alistair you wanted to kill, it wasn't me. I know that.
Theresa: It's just, you know, I didn't know what to do. I mean, you know, he kept, you know, forcing himself on me day and night, and the things that --
Ethan: Theresa -- hey, you were desperate.
Theresa: Yes, I was, and I just -- I wanted him dead, you know?
Ethan: You don't have to explain it to me anymore. You know, what's crazy is this -- this coma was actually a good thing.
Theresa: I don't -- I don't know how.
Ethan: Remember, I heard everything. I now know that Gwen is the selfish prima donna that she's always been, and she doesn't love me the way that we love each other.
Theresa: Are you saying that you want to be back with me?
Ethan: Theresa, I want to be with you, I want to be with Jane, I want to be with little Ethan, but you know what? Right now I just -- I just want to make love to you all night.
Liz: You'll both be sorry for what you've done to me.
Julian: Aren't you as tired of saying that as we are of hearing it?
Eve: We are sorry, Liz. That's all you'll ever let us be. But Julian and I are moving on with our lives, so I suggest that you move on with yours.
Julian: That's right, Liz. Perhaps -- come here -- a fresh start away from Harmony would serve you best. Now this is over. I want you to stay away from Eve and me from now on. Now, I mean it, or you'll be sorry.
Mrs. Wallace: Ooh --
Norma: What's that, Daddy?
[As father] Start planning early this year, Norma! You can't let Tabitha get away again!
[Normal voice] Oh, yes, Daddy. Your little buttercup won't let you down.
Mrs. Wallace: And I thought Bethie was a cuckaboo.
Norma: You heard Daddy. We've got to get organized. Taking Tabitha out has proven harder than I thought.
Mrs. Wallace: Normally, I am against murder. But since Tabitha is a witch, since she destroyed my home with that tsunami, and since her spell to make me beautiful went bust, I don't care what you do to her.
Norma: Well, I can't do anything with her as long as we're stuck in here.
Mrs. Wallace: So how we getting out?
Norma: I'll show you. Show my friend Edna what you got! Come on!
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, hallelujah, Christmas is coming early!
Mrs. Wallace: Wow.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh.
Norma: My secret escape route.
Mrs. Wallace: Ooh.
Norma: I've been tattooing it on him for weeks!
Mrs. Wallace: Whoo-whoo! Now, this is clever. I'd like to play in this town for a long time. But -- ahem -- I think we better come up with a backup plan to bust this booby hatch, honey. I'll seduce one of the guards.
Norma: [As father] Close your eyes, buttercup! This won't be pretty!
[Normal voice] Yes, Daddy.
Mrs. Wallace: Hey! Hey! I will have you know that I can be quite a temptress when I want to be. There is something about baggy stockings and a cold, hard steel of a walker that just drives men wild!
[Mrs. Wallace laughs]
Tabitha: Oh, hell's bells. I can't believe it -- Norma and Edna teaming up against me. Oh, I suppose that Norma’s blood lust is understandable. I mean, she thinks that Timmy and I killed her wretched father during our stay at her seedy motel. We were on the run from Hecuba at the time. But the fact is her darling daddy was dead before we even arrived.
Tabitha: But Norma won't even accept that. And as for Edna -- well, she's got her knickers in a twist because that youthful makeover that we conjured up for her has gone kaput!
Tabitha: I don't know, what am I going to do with those two loonies coming after me, Endora? What did you say? We could go away?
Endora: A go way.
Tabitha: Oh, Endora, you're a genius! Yes, yes!
Endora: A go way.
Tabitha: Well, we could go to -- we go to Rome --
Tabitha: Yeah -- and visit some fiends of mine who live in the catacombs. And then -- and then we could sail along to Greece. Yeah, I've been promising Medusa a case of extra-strength supernatural hair conditioner for ages. And then we could sail on to Egypt, land of mummies and locusts and the cult of the dead. Oh, Endora -- Endora, let's get packing right now, shall we? Huh?
Endora: A go way!
Tabitha: Yes, go away!
Tabitha: Leaping lizards. Who could that be? Who could that be at this time of night? Oh, no, no. Could it be them? Norma and Edna?
[Pounding on door]
Valerie: Let me in! I need to see Fox!
Tabitha: Yeah, right. Like I'm falling for that old disguise-your-voice routine.
[Pounding on door]
Kay: I wonder who that is.
Valerie: Let me in! I need to see Fox!
Fox: Huh. Sounds like Valerie.
Fox: I wonder what's the matter.
Kay: Let me think -- I'm with you and she isn’t.
Fox: You know, she sounds pretty upset, so I'm going to go let her in. Where are my pants?
Kay's voice: First she calls, then she comes over. Yeah, Valerie is definitely after Fox. Well, Val, you're going to leave the same way you came -- alone.
Valerie: Let me in! I need to see Fox!
Tabitha: On second thought, that doesn't sound like Edna or Norma, disguised or not. Which begs the question, who is it?
Valerie: Hello, is anyone home?
Tabitha: Good grief, Valerie, what is all this ruckus?
Valerie: Is Fox here? I really need to see him.
Tabitha: Yes, but he's upstairs with Kay. I'll go and fetch him.
Valerie: I'm sorry, I can't wait.
Tabitha: Well, this should be good.
Fox: Valerie, what's up?
Valerie: Fox, there's big trouble with the Singapore deal.
Kay: Oh, yeah, I just bet there is.
Valerie: The principals in Hong Kong want additional figures in order to close, but I couldn't supply them because I don't have the code to unlock your files. If they don't get that information right away, the deal is off.
Fox: Ok, well, why did you waste your time coming over here? You should've just called me.
Valerie: I did, but I got cut off, and after that the line was busy.
Fox: Busy? No way. Not busy.
Fox: Oh, no. Oh, no, I must've knocked the phone off the hook when Kay and I were -- oh. I can't believe I was so stupid.
Theresa: Oh, Ethan, the lights.
Theresa: It was just a dream. You're going to come out of this, Ethan, I know you are. You're going to come back to me. I promise. It's getting kind of windy outside, isn't it? I just hope the power doesn't turn off, because you can't breathe without your respirator. Oh, my God. If the power doesn't go back on soon, Ethan is going to die.
Fox: I'm such an idiot!
Tabitha: It wasn't an accident, Fox. Kay did it. And that's not all she did, is it, Endora? Hmm?
Fox: Valerie, you know, if the phone's off the hook, you've really got to call my cell phone!
Valerie: I did. It kept going straight to voicemail.
Fox: My cell phone doesn't go to voicemail! I have it on all the time! It's always on!
Valerie: You know what? That doesn't matter. Just give me the code so I can access the file and get it to Hong Kong.
Fox: Where the hell is my cell phone?
Valerie: Just give me the code!
Fox: Don't yell at me right now. My God, it's on silent. How the hell did I do that?
Valerie: Never mind that, just give me the code so I can make that -- oh, my --
Fox: What? What, what, what, what?
Valerie: The deadline's passed.
Valerie: I'm sorry. If I could've gotten in touch with you sooner, I could've taken care of it.
Fox: Damn it!
Valerie: Are you hurt?
Fox: Who cares if I'm hurt! You know what this means? I just botched the whole thing!
Kay: Fox, what happened wasn't your fault.
Fox: Of course it's my fault! How is it not my fault, huh?
Kay: Because you didn't do anything wrong! I did!
Eve: We've done everything that we can do for Liz, and she scorns us at every turn. No, that's it. It's time that we stood up to her and refuse to engage her anymore.
Julian: You're right. We'll stand up to Liz together. We'll never let her hurt us again.
Liz: Julian and Eve are so naive. They can't keep me from hurting them, and hurt them I will -- in the worst possible way.
[Radio turns on]
Fancy: We're heading into the mountains. Noah's woman must be some slutty ski bunny. Just wait till I get my hands on the two of them.
Radio announcer: This is a WNGL news update. State police have joined the search for prominent Harmony attorney Ethan Winthrop. The comatose grandson of the former governor was kidnapped from Harmony hospital earlier today by Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald-Crane and a male accomplice.
Fancy: I hope whoever Theresa conned into helping her kidnap Ethan goes to prison for as long as she does.
Noah: I hope Fancy can forgive me for helping Theresa kidnap Ethan. I mean, you know, we kept him from being taken off life-support. Yeah, at least now Ethan won't die. Yeah.
Theresa: Oh, God. If the power doesn't get back on soon, Ethan is going to die. Oh! There's a backup generator. Ok, all right. Ok, all right, Ethan's vital signs are exactly the way they were before the power went out, so that's good, that's good. Oh, God, thank God nothing horrible happened when you were on your own. Whew. Ethan, you're going to be just fine, ok? We had a tiny scare there, but everything is just fine now. I promise, it's just fine.
[Monitor alarm sounds]
Theresa: Oh, my God, what is that? Ok, the respirator's working fine, right? Yes. It's his monitor. Oh, God, help me figure out what's wrong with this thing! God, help me, please, but I can't lose Ethan now, I can't!
On the Next Passions:
Sam: It's not bad enough that I'm losing Ethan. It looks like that I may lose Jessica all over again.
Fox: I have to go.
Kay: He didn't even kiss me goodbye.
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