Passions Transcript Wednesday 11/23/05 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Wednesday 11/23/05
 
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Provided By Eric
Proofread by Jodi

Kay: No! Our love will beat any spell you've got. Well, look, if Endora doesn't know it's thanksgiving, there isn't a problem, is there? We'll just simply keep it a secret. She'll think it's just a big dinner and everything will be fine.

Fox: Whew! Hey. Where are Endora and Maria, huh? I can't wait to tell them we're hosting a Thanksgiving dinner.

Tabitha and Kay: No!

Nurse: Here's a new patient for the locked ward, doctor. They're bringing her up now.

Doctor: Oh, poor soul. She sounds like a real doozy.

Nurse: The coast guard picked her out of the ocean a few weeks ago. Within five minutes, she'd ripped the clothes off a young ensign and tried to seduce him, then became violent when they restrained her. She has been bounced from jail to jail ever since.

Doctor: Talk about delusional -- witches, magical tsunamis, muscle men turning into rats.

[Mrs. Wallace grunts]

Mrs. Wallace: Get your hands off of me, you big lugs!

Doctor: Oh, Edna?

Mrs. Wallace: What?

Doctor: Calm down. You're safe here.

Mrs. Wallace: You got the wrong gal, pally! I certainly don't belong in a nut house. Now, everything, everything I told you is the God's honest truth. Now, will you let me go, boys? Come on, do I look crazy?

Fancy: Esme! Please let me out of here! I'm sorry I tricked you into thinking the duchess was dead and that Lord Sarni wanted to marry you. Can't you take a joke? Ok, that's it! Enough is enough! Let me out of this closet this instant! Oh, the conniving little tramp. Esme, I swear, you'd better keep your hands off Noah or I'll get out my black Armani for your funeral! Ooh!

Esme: Did you miss me?

Noah: I know who this is.

Esme: Ooh, shh. No peeking.

Theresa: You can't kill him, Gwen. I won't let you.

Gwen: It is not up to you.

Theresa: It's murder.

Whitney: Theresa, calm down.

Theresa: I'm not going to calm down. She's about to kill the man that I love, and if that's not reason enough to lose control, I don't know what is!

Gwen: Theresa, he is my husband and he trusted me to carry out his wishes.

Theresa: You're not carrying out his wishes, Gwen! Ethan's living will stated that if he was brain damaged you could then take him off life-support. Well, he's not. Those new test results prove otherwise.

Gwen: He is in an irreversible coma -- irreversible.

Theresa: Haven't you ever heard of people coming out of comas, Gwen?

Gwen: You know what, Dr. Russell? I think you might need to spell it out for this idiot. Now, based on your test results, there is no hope for Ethan to come out of this coma. Am I correct?

Eve: You are correct. The coma is irreversible.

Gwen: Then Ethan has made it very clear what his wishes are, Theresa, and I know what I have to do.

Theresa: No.

Fancy: Let me out of here right now! Oh --

Maid: Who are you yelling at and what are you doing in my closet?

Fancy: You are a lifesaver, sweetie. Long story, but thank you. Hands off, Esme! Noah is mine!

Noah: Yes, Fancy, yes.

Esme: Oh, Moses.

Noah: Moses?

Fancy: Aha! You viper!

Noah: Fancy? Then who --

Esme: Hi, hot stuff. Remember me?

Fox: All right. So what's the problem? First you don't want me to have Thanksgiving dinner here, and now you don't want me to tell Endora or Maria. What's the problem?

Tabitha: I -- it's -- it's Endora. I am trying to raise her in a nondenominational household.

Fox: Nondenominational -- what? You know Thanksgiving isn't a religious holiday, right?

Tabitha: Just who do you think everyone's trying to thank? Huh? Anyway, it's not just that. It's -- it's the poor, poor turkey.

Fox: The poor, poor turkey?

Tabitha: Yes. All around the country, families and friends gather together to give thanks. They hug each other and smile and talk about old times. And then they chop off the head of an innocent turkey and shove it into a fiery oven. It's criminal! It's turkeycide. I don't think those poor turkeys are very thankful around this time of year.

Fox: All right. Do you agree with this? Well, what about Maria?

Kay: Oh, yeah, yeah, she's absolutely right. I mean, what kind of a mother would I be if I can't set an example and stand up against the appalling national slaughter of our friend the turkey?

Fox: You can't be serious.

Tabitha: We're deadly serious. And we need your help on this, Fox. If you insist on having this dinner here, then you cannot let Endora know what it's all about.

Kay: You can't even mention the word "Thanksgiving," or even the word "holiday."

Tabitha: Endora is very sensitive to the plight of the turkey.

Fox: Am I on "candid camera"? Is this some kind of joke? Am I being punk'd here? Is this --

Kay: No, this is no joke. Ok, you have to promise me that you will not mention the word "Thanksgiving."

Fox: Uh -- yeah. Hey, whatever. You know, whatever helps. Sure.

Tabitha: Yeah, yeah. Well, that helps. Trust me.

Theresa: This is immoral! Ethan's life is on the line!

Gwen: Because of you, because you poisoned him, and how dare you stand there and talk about morality when it is your fault he is lying here like this.

Theresa: This wasn't supposed to happen, ok? He wasn't supposed to eat the poison. It was for Alistair!

Gwen: Oh, and that makes it ok? Well, attempted murder gone wrong is still attempted murder, and you'd be in jail right now if Alistair hadn't come to your rescue, and I don't even know why I am talking to you! You need to get the hell out of here, Theresa, because I for one do not need to explain myself to you, especially where my husband is concerned.

Theresa: Your husband who loves me, Gwen.

Gwen: You -- you, you, you! It is always about you! Do you have a ring on your finger? Do you see this ring on my finger? Ethan put this ring on my finger, and look at this, Theresa. He has one, too, and you know what that means? It means we are married. We are married. We are joined together, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad. Do you really think that this is easy for me? He made a living will, and then he trusted me as his wife to carry out his wishes, and God forbid the roles were reversed, he would honor my wishes! That is what this is about -- love and trust and respect and abiding by his wishes that he made when he was healthy.

Theresa: Where do you get off playing God?

Gwen: If anyone is trying to play God, it is you, because I am the only one here trying to abide by his wishes. And if keeping him alive means he's going to lay here like this forever, then it is my duty to let him go!

Theresa: Then you're one cold-hearted bitch!

Eve: Theresa!

Theresa: Love and respect? That is a joke! You know what, Gwen? I'll tell you something. If there's any justice in this world, that ring would be on my finger, because if I were married to Ethan, I would never give up on him! I would never kill him! He would be kept alive!

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, would you just let me go, because there is a whole world waiting for me out there!

Nurse: Honey, I'd calm down if I were you. You don't want to end up in a straitjacket.

Mrs. Wallace: Ok, boys, you can take a powder. See, the disco queen is calm, cool, and collected.

Doctor: Why don't you have a seat, Edna.

Mrs. Wallace: No, thank you. See, I've been sitting for weeks in a jail cell, and the bum is numb, honey. Now, listen up. See, there's really been a big mix-up here. You have got the wrong gal. So if you want to lock somebody up, it should be those witches back in Harmony.

Doctor: Witches?

Mrs. Wallace: Mm-hmm.

Doctor: Real witches?

Mrs. Wallace: Got it in one! They are the ones that started the earthquake that set off the tsunami.

Doctor: Why would they do that? Were they trying to destroy to world?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, honey, do you have a screw loose or something? No! I just got on their nerves.

Doctor: So these witches caused the massive earthquake and the tsunami that devastated Harmony because you got on their nerves?

Mrs. Wallace: Can you imagine that, for heaven's sakes? Boy, they're the crazy ones. Me -- I was just trying to have some fun, because I haven't looked so young and sexy since Elvis was alive, honey. But then those doggone witches -- God, they screwed it up, see, because the spell is fading. I mean, look, look here. My hair is going gray -- oh -- and confidentially, I'm going to need my diaper back again. Darn!

Nurse: I'll make a note on your chart.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, and I should have known that blackmailing witches was like playing with fire, but, you see, I was mad with power -- mad with it! But between you and me, I should have known that something was odd with the old one last Christmas, see, because I stopped by for a little chin wag and then wound up hiding in a closet because I was being chased by a psycho Santa with an ax trying to kill us!

Doctor: Santa tried to kill you?

Mrs. Wallace: Would I lie?

Mrs. Wallace's voice: Come on, Precious, let's make tracks!

Norma: Nice of you to drop by, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to "ax" you to leave.

Mrs. Wallace: Angels, help us! Come on, Precious!

Norma: Raise the sharpened ax to fall glory be the blood and all!

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. You think witches are bad. Let me tell you, that Santa Claus was nothing but a loony! Ooh!

Kay: Oh, Endora and Maria are up, and Fox is going to bring them down here any minute.

Tabitha: Oh, I hope we got through to him, Kay. Endora cannot find out that this family gathering is really Thanksgiving. Just the word "holiday" brings out her devilish side.

Kay: Ok, well, we're just going to act like it's an everyday dinner.

Tabitha: Yeah, otherwise this year could be worse than last.

Fox: Look who's here. Look who decided to pay us a visit.

[Doorbell rings]

Tabitha: Oh. Who can that be?

Fox: Oh, well, maybe it's the caterer with our Thanks-- ow!

Girl: Hi. We're collecting money for the Thanksgiving dinner for the homeless.

Tabitha: Shh, shh. Don't say that word.

Boy: "Homeless"?

Tabitha: No. The other word.

Children: "Thanksgiving"?

Tabitha: Oh! Can't you two listen?

Boy: Where are we?

Girl: I don't know. Weren't we just at an old lady's house?

Boy: Old lady? What old lady?

Girl: I want my mom!

Fox: Who's here?

Tabitha: Oh, no one. Probably just trick-or-treaters playing pranks.

Fox: Yeah. You know, Halloween was last month.

Tabitha: Was it?

Fox: It was.

Tabitha: Oh, I'll forget my own name next.

Noah: God, Esme, where did you come from? I thought you were Fancy.

Fancy: Oh, thanks very much.

Esme: Oh, please. Does Fancy have what I've got?

Noah: Uh --

Fancy: Put something on, you malicious little tramp! God, nobody wants to see your nips and tucks.

Esme: Oh, don't you wish. This body is by God.

Fancy: Yeah, God blessed the surgeons in Beverly Hills so you didn't have to walk around with a bag on your head.

Esme: Oh, don't start with me, Fance. You're the one that tried to send me to London on a wild-goose chase. And by the way, Lord Sarni's mother isn't dead and he didn't propose. It was all Fancy trying to get rid of me so that she could have you all to herself. You never were good at sharing.

Fancy: You are way off base. I knew Noah before you got to town. We've been seeing each other.

Esme: Aha! I knew it! I asked you if you two had been together, and you lied and said no! You liar!

Fancy: I wasn't lying. We'd split up -- sort of. I mean -- ugh -- we were mad at each other, but now we're back together and everything's fine.

Esme: Oh, sure. Everything's fine. You made me think that binky wanted to marry me, and then I got my head chewed off by his nightmare of a mother, and now you end up with the hot guy. Oh, yes -- oh, no, I'm sorry. That's right. Everything is fine. Say something!

Fancy: Um -- sorry?

Esme: Ugh! Oh, you are so -- I'm so happy that I left my luggage here and -- where is -- oh, oh.

Fancy: Come on, Esme, maybe I did go a little too far, but all's fair in love and war, right? I needed some time alone with Noah.

Esme: Oh, well, so did I. And we had our bubble bath going and everything until you decided to play dirty. Well, guess what -- I can play dirty too!

Noah: Whoa, what are you doing?

Esme: Well, originally, I was going to go moose hunting with Daddy. But now I have another head that I want on my wall!

Noah: Whatever happened to a nice, civilized cat fight, huh?

Fox: All right, then. Well thank you. Ok. Bye-bye. Well, I got a bit of bad news. Since we ordered so late, there's a couple of things that they're not going to be able to deliver, so we're going to have to make a few things here.

Kay: Don't tell me it's the turkey.

Fox: Well, I'd love to tell you that, but actually, the truth is --

Kay: Ugh. Oh, no. Not the poor defenseless turkey.

Fox: Well, I didn't know that you two had such strong feelings about turkeys.

Kay: Yeah, well, there's a lot about me you don't know.

Fox: Really? Like what?

Kay: Look, if you are set on having this turkey, you are going to have to sneak it in the back door, because if Endora sees it, you might scar her for the rest of her life.

Fox: This is getting really weird.

Kay: It could get weirder.

Fox: I don't see how.

Kay: Oh, you don't want to know, Fox. And with any luck, you don't find out.

Noah: Esme, put the gun down.

Esme: I haven't bagged my limit.

Fancy: Don't worry, she's a lousy shot.

Noah: You were saying?

Fancy: Wow, she's really getting better.

Noah: This has happened before?

Fancy: Every time it happened, she was thrown out of school.

Noah: How many schools has she gone to?

Fancy: 11.

Noah: Oh, great, she's a lunatic.

Esme: I heard that!

Fancy: I told you, she has a rotten temper. She just gets a little crazy. It'll pass.

Noah: We got to move, all right?

Fancy: Oh, just till she calms down. Then we can all go out and laugh about this.

Noah: We'll be dead before they serve the salad, right?

Esme: You never should have stolen Moses from me!

Fancy: It's Noah!

Esme: Peekaboo.

Fancy: Over there?

Noah: You got any brighter ideas, huh?

Fancy: I'm afraid of heights.

Noah: More so than you are of bullets?

Fancy: Good point.

Noah: Come on!

Esme: That's for making fun of binky's stutter.

Theresa: You don't deserve to be Ethan's wife, Gwen. If I were married to him, I would never give up on him.

Eve: Theresa, you've said quite enough now. Whitney, take her to the chapel, to somewhere, anywhere. Just get her out of here.

Theresa: How can you be so heartless, Gwen? Answer me!

Gwen: I wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for you. You are an ignorant bitch who just goes around ruining people's lives and then leaves others to just clean up your mess. You killed my two children, and I did not think there was a worse hell on earth, but I was wrong, wasn't I, Theresa? Now because of you, I am forced into a life-and-death situation with my husband. Look at him. Look at him! Look at him, I said! Look at this beautiful man! You know what? He's not a man anymore, Theresa. He is a shell because of you! That ventilator is the only thing keeping him alive. He is lying here, trapped in his body. He cannot talk, he cannot laugh, he cannot live his life. He can't love, he can't do anything. So which is better, to leave him lying here year after year or to silently let him slip away into death and set him free? Because either way, he is gone. Either way I am destroyed. You and your big mouth! Don't you get it? I want him to stay alive more than anything in this world, but this is not about me! I somehow, somehow need to find the strength to obey his wishes, Theresa. I need to love him more than I love myself. And I'm going to live with this decision for the rest of my life because of you. You put us here!

Esme: Oh, come back here, both of you! Let's talk about this rationally.

Noah: Come on.

[Fancy whimpers]

Fancy: I can't do this. I can't do this.

Noah: Look, just don't look down, ok? I said don't look down. Would you -- ugh.

Fancy: Since when do I take orders from you? What's going on down there anyway?

Noah: Ah, those are the floats for tomorrow's Thanksgiving Day parade.

Fancy: Oh, I love parades.

Noah: No -- hey, just hang in there, ok?

Fancy: A gunshot wound would be better than this.

Noah: And I thought Esme was insane.

Fancy: You don't know her. She's just a little miffed.

[Gunshot]

Esme: Ooh!

Noah: You call that a little miffed? Hey, look. There's a drainpipe over there. If we can get to it, we can shimmy down to the street.

Fancy: Shimmy down? I'm naked under this robe.

Noah: And I'm overdressed? Come on. Come on!

Esme: Did you miss me?

[Gunshot]

Kay: Guess what -- we have got to cook a t-u-r-k-e-y in your kitchen.

Fox: Let me just tell you how bizarre this is because just the other night we roasted a c-h-i-c-k-e-n.

Kay: Oh, well, that's a whole different ballgame. I mean, they're vicious.

Tabitha: No, no, no. I am absolutely putting my foot down. We cannot cook a t-u-r-k-e-y here. Endora will know it is that holiday.

[Endora babbles]

Fox: Listen, I just want to say thank you one more time to both of you for letting us have dinner here tomorrow. I think it's going to be great. You know, it'll give our friends and family a chance to see what a great couple we really are together.

Tabitha: Yeah, just like Romeo and Juliet. Those kids came to a rotten end, too.

Kay: Um -- I got some bad news.

Fox: Bad news? What?

Kay: Tabitha says that we can't have the t-u-r-k-e-y here.

Fox: Really? Well, that's ok. I mean, you know, what the heck. Everyone eats the side dishes anyway, right? Who knows? Maybe we'll start a tradition here every year.

Kay: Hmm.

Tabitha: When pigs fly.

Kay: Oh, don't say that. If Endora finds out it's Thanksgiving, Porky the Pig will be dive-bombing the holiday table.

Orderly: Here are the commitment papers.

Mrs. Wallace: What? What, you're committing me?

Nurse: Think of it as a chance to have a nice, long rest.

Mrs. Wallace: Well, I -- ugh. Oh, this is Bethie's idea, isn't it? Yeah. She threatened for years to put me in an old folks' home, but now that I've had my makeover, they wouldn't take me. Well, it's a good thing they don't know that the spell is wearing off or I'd be watching Lawrence Welk.

Doctor: Is Bethie one of the witches?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, honey, one of the worst. No, no, actually she's my daughter. She's evil, though. You don't want to be messing with evil and with Bethie. So she wants me locked up in the wacko ward, does she? Ok, ok. I'm going to fix her wagon.

Doctor: Where is Bethie?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, I have no idea, and make sure you tell the police that. After she stole the baby, she vamoosed. Boy. Hey, I saw that. Listen, I felt bad about it. Are you kidding? Bethie, the kidnapping clown, locking poor Sheridan down in the basement until she had her baby? Look, Precious and I really wanted to help her.

Doctor: Who's Precious?

Mrs. Wallace: Precious? Precious. She was my nurse, my pal. She was an orangutan. Best drinking buddy I ever had, and, boy, could that ape make a great G&T. Oh, Precious, Precious, Precious, do I miss you. I really, really do. So, ooh, Bethie's going to get her way and lock me in the loony bin, huh? I bet you her father had something to do with that. He's behind it.

Doctor: Your husband?

Mrs. Wallace: Hmm? Nah. Oh, we had a wild night of passion and then he said adios when the sun came up. Let me tell you, I only figured out just a little while back that Alistair Crane was Bethie's father. If I had known, honey, we'd be living the life of Reilly for years.

[Mrs. Wallace laughs]

Doctor: You think The Alistair Crane is your daughter's father?

Mrs. Wallace: Think? Honey, I know.

Doctor: She's gone around the bend into the next county. Alistair Crane is known for dating the most beautiful women in the world. Clowns in pits, an alcoholic orangutan, witches causing tsunamis? Just wait, next she'll tell us her new boyfriend's a donkey.

Mrs. Wallace: I heard that! That is not me. That's Rebecca. Boy, is she an alley cat in heat. Harmony is full of them. And then there's that Theresa -- ugh.

Gwen: Ethan, I am going to do this for you because I promised you that I would. Because of you, I not only lose the man I should've spent the rest of my life with, I have to be the one responsible to tell them to let him go.

Theresa: No, you don't, Gwen. You don't have to.

Gwen: Well, then his trust in me would be misplaced, wouldn't it? And this isn't about me. This is not about what I want. This is about what Ethan wants.

Theresa: Right. You know what, Gwen? I think this is about you. I think this is your way of keeping Ethan away from me, the woman he really loves.

Whitney: Theresa, stop it. That is awful.

Gwen: Theresa, I didn't think it was possible for me to hate you any more than I already do. Get out of here. So help me God, I better not see you ever again, and you are certainly never allowed to see my husband again, so get out of here. Get out of here!

Noah: Come on, I got you. Come on. Come on, I got this --

Fancy: Oh, don't look up my robe!

[Noah laughs]

Noah: The view is great, but I'm just trying to make sure we don't get killed.

Fancy: Get me down from here.

Noah: Ok, come on. Come on.

[Noah grunts]

Noah: Ok.

Fancy: I'm in my bare feet.

Noah: Yeah, just -- so am I, all right? Just -- look, pretend it's the beach or something.

Fancy: In November?

Noah: No, no, look, come on, we can get lost in there. Go, go, go.

Esme: Oh, Fancy, you are a dead woman. Oh, damn it! I can't see them, but Fancy and Solomon are down there somewhere. Hmm. Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Fancy: Ooh!

Noah: Oh, no.

Fancy: Oh, Esme, get a grip or they'll send you back to the psych ward.

Noah: The psych ward?

Fancy: Yeah, but a very exclusive one -- Chanel straitjackets, the whole bit.

[Gunshot]

Fancy and Noah: Aah!

Noah: Come on, it's harder to hit a moving target. Go, go, go, go.

Fancy: Aah!

Gwen: Get out of here right now.

Theresa: Forget it.

Eve: That's enough. Whitney, help.

Whitney: Theresa, come on.

Theresa: Dr. Russell, please. You can't let her do this. You cannot let her kill him.

Eve: You know, Theresa, you need to stop using the "kill" word, ok? That is not what is happening here. Ethan has made his decision. Gwen is simply following through with it.

Theresa: Whitney, you're about to become a nun. You know that -- that life can only be given or taken by God, right? Tell Gwen she's wrong. Convince her that she's wrong.

Whitney: Theresa, Theresa, this is not my place. I mean, if anything, maybe I can have Father Lonigan talk to her, but not me.

Theresa: This isn't over because I'm not going to accept this. I can't. No one's going to kill Ethan!

Whitney: Theresa, come with me to the chapel. We can pray for Ethan.

Theresa: I think we should pray for Gwen. May God help Gwen's twisted soul see the light.

Gwen: Eve, is she gone?

Eve: Yes. Yeah, she's gone to the chapel.

Gwen: Thank you. I think I'm going to leave for a little while and go see Jane and just -- and think about this.

Eve: It's a good idea. I think it'd do you good to just hold her in your arms.

Gwen: Yeah. This all seemed so -- so easy talking about living wills when -- when we were ok and -- and now that it's come to this, Eve, I don't know if I can do this. This is really hard. It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. And I don't know how I'm supposed to live with myself.

Eve: Take your time. You do not have to come to a decision right now.

Gwen: Ok.

Mrs. Wallace: Hey, hey, hey, would you slow down, buster? This body is starting to break down. That means I'm going to have to get myself another walker. Is this the way to the taxi stand?

Doctor: Just a few more steps.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, good. I knew, you know, once I told you my story, we would get this whole mess straightened out -- I mean, me in a psycho ward with the rest of the cashew nuts?

[Imitates buzzer]

Mrs. Wallace: When I get home, I'm going to tell all my friends this.

Doctor: All right. Now, come along, then.

Mrs. Wallace: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ooh. What's the rush, huh? What do you say, you and me? We can go out for a little dinner, dancing, paint the town red. And if you play your cards right, honey, you may get a chance to cash in on the whole enchilada. What do you say, huh? Hmm?

Doctor: I'm afraid that wouldn't be ethical.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, how come, honey?

Doctor: Psychiatrists can't socialize with their patients.

Mrs. Wallace: What do you mean, huh? I'm not one of your patients. Wait, wait, wait a minute. You mean you're not letting me out of here?

Doctor: I'm afraid not.

Mrs. Wallace: No, no, no, no! You see, I know -- no, no, stop it, stop it. I am just as sane as you are. I am not crazy. Two times two is four, four times four is eight, eight times eight is 16. See? Now let me go. No, no!

Doctor: I'd like you to meet your new roommate, Edna Wallace.

Mrs. Wallace: No, no, no! Get -- ugh!

Norma: Oh.

Mrs. Wallace: You're insanity Claus!

Norma: I know you! You're Tabby's little friend.

[Norma laughs]

Fox: Pie smells good, huh? Tabitha, what are you going to make?

Tabitha: I'm making martimmys, a very large batch of martimmys.

Fox: What?

Kay: Ok, look, your -- your plan, it doesn't work because if Sheridan sits here, then where's your mom going to sit?

Fox: Hmm. Well, I don't know. Maybe she can have dinner with herself in the kitchen.

Kay: What? Stop. No, we just started getting along. I don't want to mess things up.

[Bell rings]

Fox: Pies are done.

Kay: Yeah, pumpkin bakes fast.

Fox: Come on, help me take them out of the oven. I need a little alone time with you.

Kay: Oh.

Tabitha: Enjoy your love, you two, because it's not going to last much longer. Oh, this nightmare is giving me a headache. Be good girls, you two. I'm just going to go upstairs, get myself an aspirin.

Announcer: Tune in tomorrow bright and early for the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Spend Thanksgiving with all your friends on NBC.

Esme: I'll get you, Fancy Crane, if it's the last thing I do.

Fancy: Ooh! Oh, it doesn't matter where we go. She's got us in her sights.

Noah: Ok, I don't hear anything, all right? Maybe she's calmed down.

Fancy: No, never this fast. She's probably reloading.

Noah: At least we get a chance to rest.

Fancy: It's freezing out here.

Fancy: What was that for?

Noah: A little body heat.

Fancy: You could use it more than me.

Noah: Ok, stop, stop, stop, stop. Or kiss me again.

Fancy: Wait. First you kiss Esme and then you kiss me?

Noah: Well, she attacked me. What was I supposed to do? Come on. If I can't have another kiss, I'm going to die, you know?

Fancy: Well, I can't have you dying on me.

[Noah laughs]

Fancy: I need you to stick around till we're old and boring.

Noah: You will never be boring. Life with you will always be an adventure.

[Gunshot]

Noah: Ooh. Oh, my God.

Fancy: What was that?

Noah: Esme just hit the giant turkey balloon.

Fancy: Someone should spank that girl.

Noah: Can you imagine? This is going to be the first time in history there's no turkey in Harmony's Thanksgiving Day parade.

Gwen: Oh, my sweet girl. Jane, honey, what should I do? Your daddy and I -- we finally had the family that we always dreamed of and, baby, he's gone now. Yeah. I'm so sorry you're going to grow up without your daddy. Oh, honey, I wish you knew. I wish you knew how wonderful your daddy was. Honey, he was so, so clear when he talked to me about his living will. But, honey, it's just really hard now, and your mommy doesn't know what to do. Yeah. God, you need to give me the strength to do this because I know that he never wanted to be kept alive by machines like he is now. I know that. But I don't know if I can do this. You have to give me the strength because I don't think I have a choice here. I have to take him off life-support. God, you need to give me the strength to let him go.

Theresa: Gwen's gone.

Whitney: Look, I know I can't stop you from walking right on in there, but please reconsider. I mean, if Gwen catches you in there, she's going to completely freak out again.

Theresa: Well, it'll be worth it if I can be near Ethan. Can you just please keep him in your prayers, please?

Whitney: Of course I will. The whole convent will be praying for him, ok?

Theresa: Thank you.

Theresa: Ethan? I know you can hear me. I just know it. I make this promise to you with God as my witness. If Gwen tries to take you off life-support, if she tries to kill you, I swear on all that is holy I will kill her first.

On the Next Passions:

Tabitha: Welcome to this perfectly normal family dinner party.

[Screams]

Tabitha: Norma?

Norma: Get ready for company, witch.

Alistair: Hello? Is someone there?

Gwen: Honey, when I sign these papers, I am signing your death warrant.

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