Passions Transcript Thursday 11/17/05 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Thursday 11/17/05
[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Provided By Eric
Proofread by Jodi

Fancy: Why would I care about some gigolo?

Noah: Because no matter what you say, I know that you still have feelings for me.

Fancy: I may have toyed with you when I was bored.

Noah: Right. So why is it that it drives you crazy every time Esme is all over me?

Fancy: I'll see if Esme needs help.

Noah: To check her messages?

Fancy: Yeah, she's never been good with machinery.

Noah: Esme's right. You're a horrible liar.

[Maid laughs]

Maid: Mr. Crane, what is that? It looks disgusting.

Alistair: Oh, I think you're going to like this.

Maid: Ew.

Alistair: It's a big one, too.

[Woman coughs]

Alistair: Oh, yes, yes, all you have to do is open your mouth. There you go, that's it, that's it -- oh.

Maid: Mmm.

Alistair: Now a sip of champagne.

Maid: It's good.

Alistair: No, just a sip. Just a sip. You know, oysters are a real delicacy. And some people say they're like a -- an aphrodisiac.

Maid: Is that some kind of hair product?

Alistair: Well, seafood is always good for the brain. But then again, we're not really too interested in your brain tonight, are we?

Maid: Oh, you're terrible. I can't believe you went to all this trouble just for me. Champagne? Fresh seafood? Holy cow. We don't have all this in Wichita. Just corn. Lots and lots of corn.

Alistair: Oh, I am so glad that you're interested in new sensations.

Maid: Oh, I feel like a queen.

Alistair: Mm-hmm. As you should, as you should. That's because you're very, very special.

Maid: Hmm.

Alistair: Yes. So why don't you do something to make me feel very, very special?

Theresa: Alistair!

Maid: Oh! Ow!

Alistair: Well, I knew you'd --

Theresa: I have been looking all over for you. Alistair, please, I need you.

Alistair: I knew you'd come back to me. I arranged for a nice midnight snack for us, and we can take some of that up to your room.

Maid: Oh, Mr. Crane --

Alistair: Oh, yes, Lydia, you can leave now. Uh, leave the champagne, hmm?

[Lydia cries]

Alistair: Thank you.

Theresa: This is urgent, Alistair, please.

Alistair: I know. You said you need me.

[Theresa groans]

Sheridan: Beth's right. She's the only one who tells me the truth. It's my fault that Luis is dead. I forced him to leave. I put his life at risk.

Luis: I hate myself for ever doubting you, ok? But there is nothing that I can do about the past. All I can do now is try and find our son.

Sheridan: Well, then do it! Go find my son, or don't ever come back to me at all. I sent you away and I didn't mean it. If only I could take it all back, tell you how much I love you, but I can't. There's so much that I wanted you to know.

Luis: I do, Sheridan. I know.

Esme: Will you look at this? Lord Sarni called four times. And one of them was just a half-hour ago. Oh, do you know what time it is in England? That means he's been up all night thinking of me.

Fancy: I thought it was all over with you two.

Noah: Wait, Lord Sarni is --

Fancy: Esme's old boyfriend.

Esme: Well, he was more than that. I wanted to marry him. Oh, he is a Duke, after all. And he has estates in England and Scotland and Ireland, and ranches in Canada and Montana. Oh, not to mention that darling compound in Barbados right on the beach.

Fancy: Hmm. And let's not forget the Duke of Wimbleyshire is the biggest landlord in London.

Esme: Oh, well, that's where all that lovely money comes from.

Noah: Huh. Sounds like he's got a great personality.

Fancy: Hmm.

Esme: Oh, and he is handsome. But he does have two problems. The first is that he has a terrible s-s-stutter. And the second is he has a dreadful m-m-mother. And no one is good enough for her s-s-stuttering son.

Noah: Oh, come now. How bad can she be?

Esme: You have no idea. Ugh. The dowager duchess is a real dragon, and she hates me. Well, I can't imagine why. I mean, what is not to like? She must be one of those kooks that hates all Americans. Ugh. And he's scared to death of her, so he will never pop the question while she is alive. And she will probably live forever, the old bag. Too bad. Oh, how I would love to be there when they b-b-b-bury her. Oh, still -- four messages? Gosh, I wonder what he wants.

Fancy: So call Lord Sarni back and find out.

Esme: Call him back? Oh,Fancy, please. As if. Well, then he would think that I was interested. Oh, no, no, he has to call me. But it is a shame. We were a match made in heaven. Oh, what with all of my money and all of his money, why, we'd have just -- oh --

Noah: More money?

Esme: Oh, yes.

Noah: Ah.

Esme: And what could be better than that? Oh, well, the night is young, and I am already busy. Aren't I, Noah?

Noah: Ah, you remembered my name.

Esme: Of course I remember your name. It just pops in and out.

Noah: Now, don't forget, though, I am still on the clock, and it is ticking at double time.

Esme: Oh, well -- double time and a nice fat bonus.

Noah: Hmm.

Esme: Hmm. You know, I shall order some more champagne, and some strawberries, hmm? Noah, would you run me a bubble bath? Then we can feed each other strawberries while I soak in the tub.

Noah: Ah, perfect. I will massage your shoulders so that you can really relax.

Esme: Oh, you are the best. And I bet with all of those muscles, the girls just go crazy when you give a massage.

Noah: I'll prepare your bath.

Esme: Yeah. Toodles.

Fancy: Esme, you little tramp. I've seen you go lower than a coal miner all around the world, but I have never seen you pay for it. My God, he's a gigolo.

Esme: Male escort, sweetie. Your grandmother had gigolos. You know, what is wrong with it, anyway? Mummy always had a walker to take her around society for as long as I can remember. I mean, you don't think that Guido actually picks up the tab, do you?

Fancy: There's a difference, Esme. Guido is over 70, and he's gay. I can't believe you're paying Noah to take a bath with you.

Esme: Oh, since when did you become such a prude? Besides, I didn't say anything about us taking a bath together. He is simply drawing me a bath, and then he's going to give me a little massage. And if it gets too hot and steamy in there and he has to take his clothes off, well, then, you know what. Three cheers to me.

Fancy: You have all the morals of an alley cat.

Esme: Now, that is the pot calling the kettle black. Oh, please, honey, if I need morals, I will buy some.

Fancy: Ugh.

Esme: Ok, you know what? I will tell you what I will do. If Noah simply cannot keep his hands off me and he hops into the tub, why, then, he's off the clock. Does that make you feel better? Oh, it's going to be fabulous. This boy is raring to go. And I bet we are up all night.

Theresa: Get off! Please, stop it.

Alistair: What's the matter? You said you needed me.

Theresa: Not like that, Alistair. Never like that. I need your help.

Alistair: Oh. Oh, yeah, here we go again. You need my help. You need my help on something. You always need my help on something. And then afterwards you just turn on me and tell me you hate me, or you try and kill me. You know, I feel absolutely cheap and used.

Theresa: Don't joke.

Alistair: Look at you. You've already gone to plan B, the waterworks. Why don't you just dry up those crocodile tears, Theresa? They do not move me.

Theresa: Can you please just listen to me, Alistair? Please.

Alistair: All right, what is it this time? Do you want some champagne?

Theresa: No, I don't!

Alistair: All right, let me spare us both your theatrics. You're upset. It's about Ethan.

Theresa: Yes, it is, and this is urgent.

Alistair: Mm-hmm. Well, the man of your dreams, the one you poisoned while you were trying to kill me.

Theresa: You know what? If you could just let me speak for a second, if you could just let me finish -- this is really urgent.

Alistair: All right. What?

Theresa: I need you to stop Gwen, Alistair. Ethan is -- he's on total life-support and she's ready to pull the plug on him, and I need your help. I need you to stop her. You're the only one who can stop her from killing Ethan.

Sheridan: Luis, you can't. You're -- you're dead.

Luis: Sheridan, I'm here. I know you love me. I know you've always loved me. And I love you, too, more than words can say.

Sheridan: How? Where?

Luis: Sheridan, listen to me. Don't beat yourself up about those things that you said. I know that you didn't mean them. You were just upset because of what happened to Marty. Devastated. We both were.

Sheridan: I still am. Beth called me tonight. She called me just to taunt me. She had Marty with her. She said that I was a whore because I was out to dinner with someone else. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you so much.

Luis: I love you, too.

Noah: Your bath awaits, ma'am.

Esme: I do love it when you call me "ma'am." It makes me feel like the secretary of state or someone. Ok, sweetie, I will go get into my bath. And you bring the room service tray in. Whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting. Good night, Fancy.

Noah: Wait. "Good night"? Are you leaving, or --

Fancy: Why should I stick around and ruin your night?

Noah: Fine. Whatever you want.

Fancy: As always. You two have fun -- if this is what you call fun.

Noah: It was only fun when you were around.

Theresa: Alistair, please, I am begging you. You have got to stop Gwen before she kills Ethan. Look, I did my best to try to convince her. I tried to convince every single person, but no one's listening to me.

Alistair: Well, since you're the one that put him in the hospital in the first place, I doubt very much if any of those people are going to listen at all to any of your opinions.

Theresa: I understand that, Alistair. And I deserve that. I do. But that's why I've come to you, because I need you to help me stop her.

Alistair: Well, I haven't kept track of Ethan's condition so far tonight, but I don't understand why Gwen is taking this drastic step.

Theresa: Because Dr. Russell took tests, Alistair, and they showed that Ethan has brain damage and that he cannot live without life-support.

Alistair: Forever?

Theresa: She's running more tests to see if his condition has changed, but she told Gwen to go find Ethan's living will. Gwen found it, and in it, Ethan wrote that he doesn't want to be kept alive by machines. So Gwen's ready to carry out his wishes, and if she does that, Alistair, Ethan will die.

Alistair: That's the general idea.

Theresa: No, no, it's -- no, I don't want that to happen, Alistair. And you don't want that to happen. My God, what if those doctors are wrong? What if he's in some kind of deep coma? And if she takes him off life-support, we are not going to know for sure. Now, you can do this. You've got the power, Alistair. You make one phone call, one phone call to stop Gwen from killing him.

Alistair: You're right, Theresa. I'm the only one with the strength to help you.

Theresa: So you'll -- you're going to do it, huh? You're going to stop Gwen?

Esme: Oh. Oh, I feel like Cleopatra, some wicked French courtesan. Oh, this is just to die for.

Noah: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

Esme: Oh, yes, right there below the shoulder blade, if you wouldn't mi-- oh. Oh, yes.

Noah: You've got a big knot.

Esme: Oh. Rub it out for me, will you, doll? Are you sure you wouldn't want to take off some of those heavy clothes and get more comfortable?

Noah: I'm fine, thank you.

Esme: Oh. Ok. Well, feel free anytime.

[Esme sighs]

Esme: Oh, oh. Ah, yes. Oh, yes, that really is so much better. You know, I just haven't been myself since I dumped Lord Sarni. Maybe you can help me forget about him tonight.

Noah: Yeah. Yeah, breakups are pretty tough.

Esme: Well --

Noah: Are you sure you did the right thing?

Esme: Oh, yes. You know, I waited for six months for that man to propose to me. I have never waited so long for any man. But still, he is a cutie. Handsome, blond, muscles down to -- well, you know. And -- and -- ah, you should see him in his uniform. He carries a big sword and everything.

Noah: But he stutters?

Esme: Well, it's actually kind of sweet. Sometimes you can't understand a word he is saying, but it's all in the eyes. Oh, and he adore me. Oh, yes, and I -- you know, it really is a shame because we are a match made in heaven. We love all the same things.

Noah: Like?

Esme: Real estate, mainly. He's got properties all over the world, and the most darling little jet that goes from one to the other. Oh, and then there's the yacht in the Pacific, and the yacht in the Mediterranean. He really does know how to spoil a girl. Oh, a little stutter doesn't bother me. Actually, there was one night in Majorca where I really gave him the business. He didn't stutter for two whole days. But he won't make a commitment because of his icky old mummy.

Noah: You can?

Esme: Well, sure I can. But I'm not going to buy a pig in a poke. If he can't commit to me, why should I commit to him? I am done waiting for Lord Sarni, and freedom is too important to give up when you don't have a sure thing.

[Phone rings]

Esme: Oh -- Noah, darling, would you get that for me? Thank you.

[Noah laughs]

Esme: Thank you. Oh, ok. Um -- hello, hello, hello?

Woman: [As Lord Sarni] Esm-m-me, is that y-y-you?

Esme: Binky? It's Lord Sarni. How are you? Well, I haven't spoken to you in quite some time.

Woman: I n-n-need to t-t-talk to you.

Esme: Uh, wait. What, dear? I can barely understand you.

Woman: I h-h-have something very imp-p-portant to ask you, poppet.

Esme: Well, go on.

Woman: Firstly, I m-m-must say m-m-mama is dead.

Esme: Your mother is dead? Oh, how sad for you, Binky. Was it -- was it -- how did she go? Was it painful?

Woman: It w-was very quick. She t-t-tripped over one of the queen's c-c-corgis and broke her n-n-neck. Listen, my p-p-pet, get on a p-p-plane and come to the c-c-castle. I l-l-love you, and I w-want your h-h-hand in m-m-marriage, what?

Esme: Marry you? Oh! Oh, Binky!

Sheridan: All this time I thought you were dead. I've been out of my mind with grief. I love you. I'm so sorry. This is a miracle. Where have you been? What happened? Is this real? Or am I dreaming? Are you really here? Please, be here. I don't understand. What's happening?

Luis: I'm here because you need me. Don't question it. Listen. I need to ask -- I need to demand something of you. But at least it's only one thing.

Sheridan: What?

Luis: You have to forgive yourself. It's not your fault that I left. I would have left anyway, of course. Of course I would search the -- the world to find Marty. He's my son.

Sheridan: But it's my fault. It's my fault that you died. I forced you to leave. I made you.

Luis: Hey, no one makes me do anything. I left because I wanted to. And for weeks, all I could think about was the joy that I would bring to your face when I finally brought Marty home to you.

Sheridan: And now?

Luis: Now it's time for you to let go, for you to forgive yourself, for you to move on, open a new chapter in your life.

Theresa: Please, Alistair, you can do this. You've got to stop Gwen before she takes Ethan off life-support.

Alistair: You know, Theresa, you're going to have to realize that a living will is a very serious document. And for Ethan to have one means that he sat and thought long and hard of the possibility he might end up in a horrific situation that he's already in.

Theresa: But nobody knows for sure if he's gone. And letting him die is playing god, Alistair. Ok, and I can't just stand by and watch Gwen kill him, and that's exactly what she's going to do.

Alistair: What, do I have to remind you that Gwen is his wife? Her wants overrule the family, friends. And if she wants to execute the wishes Ethan put in that document, it's going to be near to impossible to stop her.

Theresa: Right, but you can do it. You can stop her, Alistair. You've got the power. You can. You can turn the legal system into a pretzel. I've seen you do it.

Alistair: Well, a very expensive -- a very expensive pretzel. But you're right. If I don't intervene, then he dies.

Theresa: So you'll do it? You'll stop her? Do whatever you have to do, please. Please, just stop Gwen. Please.

Alistair: Yes, this is Alistair Crane. Yes, would you transfer me to --

Theresa: I.C.U.

Alistair: I.C.U.

Esme: I was going to leave here anyway, so I will just hop on the first plane to England.

Woman: [As Lord Sarni] I c-c-can't wait.

Esme: Now, I haven't said yes, mind. I may need a little convincing, though I am quite flattered.

Woman: I l-l-look forward to it.

Esme: Well, I will see you soon, Binky. And God save the queen and her corgis. Oh, yippee! What are you looking at? It's just a much, much better version of what every girl's got.

Fancy: [British accent] S-s-see you s-s-soon, Esme, what?

Esme: Oh, I can't wait! Oh, an old-fashioned wedding with bridesmaids and trust funds and settlements. Oh, my. Oh. But no prenup. I have to be sure about that. Ok. Now, what do I need? I need a passport and plane ticket and money and -- oh, I'll just have housekeeping pack up the rest of my clothes and send them to England. Um -- oh. Darling, you must be so disappointed. Oh, thanks, Noah. You've been aces, but I do need to get to Lord Sarni before some pale English rose gets her claws into him and it's bye-bye, Esme. Now, let's see -- what did I do with my wallet? Oh, it's in the living room, so I will leave your money in there.

Noah: Oh, no, no, no. I'll go, too.

Esme: Oh. Oh, no. Oh, please, the room's already paid for. Stay, enjoy some champagne. Relax. You've earned it. Oh, now, what shall I wear? Ooh. Uh -- ooh. Oh, what the hell! What's the difference? Ok. Goodbye, Noah. When you think of me -- and you will -- remember the good times. Oh, no, no. I must -- I must go. This is my destiny!

Luis: It kills me to think of you blaming yourself for anything that's happened.

Sheridan: If only --

Luis: Shh. Don't waste any more of your life. You have way too much to give. I can't stand the thought of you being alone and in pain. You can't live that way.

Sheridan: But you're the only man that I love.

Luis: We'll be together again. Come on. Have some faith, will you? Our love has endured centuries. We will be together again, just in another lifetime.

Sheridan: Oh, I can't let you go. I want you in this life. I need you. I can't let you go. I can't.

Alistair: I'm on hold.

Theresa: Thank you, Alistair. There must be a side to your heart that no one ever sees for you to do this. You're saving Ethan's life.

Alistair: Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Who am I speaking to? Oh, an administrator. Perfect person. I'm Alistair Crane. Well, I'm glad you know who I am. Well, yes. Yes, of course. I have a bit of a problem. There is a patient of yours in I.C.U. His name is Ethan Winthrop. His wife is considering putting his living will into effect. I just want to make sure that Ethan's living will will be followed to the letter.

Theresa: What?

Alistair: Uh, yes, you heard right. In fact, I'll send over one of my own legal counsels to I.C.U. to make sure that no one interferes with his wife's wishes. Now, if his wife wants to pull the plug, just do it.

Theresa: You monster! You told me that you would help me. You cannot do this, Alistair! Call them back! You cannot do this!


[Alistair laughs]

Theresa: You are a monster. You told me that you would help.

Alistair: And so I have. The only reason you're still walking around and you're not in jail is because you're my wife. But then again, if Gwen is forced to pull the plug --

Theresa: If she murders Ethan.

Alistair: I'll leave those moral judgments to the courts. If Ethan does die, I just want you to be careful because then Gwen will turn on you and she'll accuse you of murder. But I'll keep you out of prison if you'll remain my slave.

Theresa: You know what? I don't really care what happens to me. I just want Ethan to live. Do you understand that? That's what matters to me.

Alistair: Oh, such an amazing self-sacrifice coming from the lips of the little vixen who tried to kill me not once, but twice. I'm not going to help you, Theresa. Let Gwen pull the plug. Let the fool die.

Sheridan: I can never let you go. You're too deep in my heart. Without you, I'm only half alive. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me alone in this life.

Luis: Shh. Sheridan, don't cry. I've never left you.

[Surf crashes]

Luis: Do you hear that?

Sheridan: What?

Luis: The waves. Listen. You hear that wave that just hit right now? Where do you think it started from? Africa? South America? For as long as those waves have been crashing on the shore, I have loved you. And I will love you till the day that they stop. And I want you to know, whenever you hear those waves, that I'll be thinking of you, wishing for you to have peace of mind.

Sheridan: Please don't go.

Luis: We'll be together again. I swear it. The thing is for now I need you -- I need you to be open to the possibility of love again. Let me go. I need for you to know what it means to have a carefree heart. I give you my blessing until we meet again.

Sheridan: Please don't go.

Luis: Goodbye. May your dreams be filled with light.

Sheridan: Come back. Please come back.

Noah: Oh, Esme, I love the way you spend money. Thanks to you, Dad's mortgage will not be a problem this month, and there's plenty left over.

[Door slams]

Noah: Esme? Is that you? You forget something?

Fancy: Enjoying the lifestyle of the rich and famous?

Noah: Where'd you come from? Thought you couldn't stand to be around the gigolo.

Fancy: I came back for something. Where's Esme?

Noah: You're not going to believe this, but she got a call from Lord Sarni -- who's a real doofus by the way -- and she ran out of here half naked to jump on a plane to London.

Fancy: Oh. And left you here all alone?

Noah: Yeah, it looks that way, doesn't it?

Fancy: Maybe she didn't like your service.

Noah: No, I don't think so. If that old English git hadn't called, I would've had to beat her away with a stick. Yeah. I guess I can't compete with a Duke who owns half the civilized world. Even a Duke with a stutter.

Fancy: Mm-hmm.

Noah: Hmm.

Fancy: [British accent] M-m-maybe Esme g-g-got the proposal she's been w-waiting for, what?

Noah: It was you?

Fancy: I c-confess.

Noah: Oh, you little d-d-devil.

Fancy: [Normal voice] Oh! What?

Alistair: Stop your sniveling. It's very unseemly for Mrs. Alistair Crane to be weeping for another man.

Theresa: I can't help it. I want Ethan to live.

Alistair: Well. I mean, how is he going to live? From what you've told me, his brain is mush. Why don't you let him die? He's no use to anybody anyway.

Theresa: He's a human being, Alistair. And he's the man that I love.

Alistair: Love? Love is for fools. It's a sickly emotion. It's only for the weak.

Theresa: Yeah, well, you say that because you've never been in love.

Alistair: Ah.

Theresa: You've never loved anyone and no one has ever loved you. Everyone hates you.

Alistair: So what? I don't achieve my goals by being good to people. I achieve them by instilling fear, not good feelings. That way I get what I want when I want it. Don't forget something -- I can destroy you, too.

Theresa: I don't care what you do to me.

Alistair: Good. But I'm sure you care about what happens to little Ethan.

Theresa: You leave my son out of this.

Alistair: Our son. You know, it's too bad that big Ethan's I.Q. is down to zero. Now you have no one else to be your staunch defender.

Theresa: Monster.

Alistair: You know, why can't you -- why can't you just expand your vocabulary? I could be a barbarian, I could be a demon, I could be satan.

Theresa: No wonder everyone wants you dead.

Alistair: Ah, yes. And it's a pity -- there's no one out there strong enough to do the job.

On the Next Passions:

Sheridan: I can't lose you. Please, don't leave me. I need you. Why, Luis? Why does everyone leave me?

Sheridan: You've come back.

Fancy: Of all the misguided, arrogant, egocentric --

Tabitha: Look who's back in town, Endora!

Kay: Who are you?

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