Thursday 8/25/05--Canada; Friday 8/26/05--USA
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Payne: Where do you think you're going?
Noah: We're done, all right? We washed all the dishes and we cleaned that disgusting bathroom. All right, we're even.
Payne: Dream on, pretty boy. We're nowhere near even.
Eve: Simone, this is going to sting a little.
T.C.: Sugar bear, who did this to you?
Simone: I don't know. Somebody jumped me. I was down by the old knitting factory, and I saw Jessica and Spike and --
T.C.: Spike? That sleazeball did this to you?
Simone: No, wait, I'm not sure.
T.C.: Well, damn it, I am. Eve, is she going to be all right? I'm going down there, I'm going to find this Spike, and I'm going to kill him.
Sam: Jess, where are you? Please, God, tell me you didn't go back to Spike. He's only going to fill you full of drugs and have you walking the streets again. Got to call her.
Spike: I've got just what you want, Jess. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Not until we've had a little talk.
Jessica: Spike, I need them.
Spike: Look, if you want to come back to me, you're going to have to do whatever I ask you to. You have to pick up from where you left off. But this time, do not kill the customers, ok?
Jessica: I -- I can't turn tricks. I hate it.
Spike: I knew it. I knew it. You don't love me enough to be with me.
Jessica: No, of course I do!
Spike: So prove it! You've got a lot to make up for after walking out on me. Ooh. There you go, sweetie. Mmm.
Spike: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who's that who's calling you right now? Let me see this. I know that number. That's your dear old dad.
[As Jessica] Hi, Daddy.
[Normal voice] Yo! Good morning, ex-Chief Bennett.
Sam: Spike. Where's Jessica, and what have you done with her?
Spike: Done with her? Nothing. We're just chatting about the future -- like whether she'd like to come back to me or go back to that prison that you call a home.
Sam: If I get my hands on you --
Spike: Whoa, temper, temper there, Chiefy. I tell you what, I'll let you listen in, ok? Ok, so choose, Jessica. Where do you want to live, with me in freedom or with the warden?
Sam: Jessica, listen to me. I love you. Please come back here to your family, to your home.
Theresa: Ever since I've moved back into the mansion, my plan is working perfectly.
Theresa: Every time Ethan sees me, he's reminded of what we had. And very soon he's going to realize that what he wants is to be with me, little Ethan, and Jane, and then I'm going to have everything that I've ever wanted.
Alistair: And now it's time for what I want -- you.
Sheridan: You're Mark's father? How is that possible?
Chris: The usual way.
Sheridan: No, I mean, why didn't you say anything? You heard me talk about Mark. Any normal person would've said, "gee, I have a son named, Mark, too." We could've figured this whole thing out.
Chris: I never claimed to be normal. But the upshot is his name isn't Mark, it's James. Maureen must have started calling him Mark when she left me.
Sheridan: This isn't right.
Man: I'm sorry, Miss Crane. The child's name is James.
Sheridan: You know that Maureen is --
Chris: Yes, yes, I know. Maureen and I were estranged. She ran off and took James with her.
Chris: Well, I don't want to get into it, but let's just say we had our troubles. I've been searching for them for several years. Finally, I've found my son.
Sheridan: No, something isn't right here. I mean, here you turn up out of the blue to do a story on the tsunami, and, presto, Mark turns out to be your son? No, I want answers. I want better proof that you are really Mark's father.
Sheridan: I can't believe this.
Man: Mr. Boothe has provided all of the proper documentation. There's no doubt that Mark -- James, I mean -- is his son.
Sheridan: Show me, because I told Maureen that I would take care of this child, and I want to make sure that everything is on the up-and-up.
Man: I'm sorry, Ms. Crane., All of our case files are confidential. I went out on a limb just showing you the birth certificate.
Sheridan: Documents can be forged. So can fingerprints and footprints and --
Chris: It's all right. Sheridan saved James' life. I think she has his best interests at heart. Show her the file, the whole file. And if you find anything wrong with it, anything at all, you can have James back.
Noah: Don't start with us, Payne, all right? You said that if we did the dishes and cleaned that cesspool of a bathroom of yours that my debt would be paid off. We did it, we're done, we're even.
Fancy: My nails are ruined and my hair smells like disinfectant.
Payne: Gotcha. Just twisting the knife a little. Yeah, your debt's paid off. Actually, I feel kind of bad making you and your girlfriend do all the work.
Fancy: I am not his girlfriend.
Payne: Whatever. Anyway, I owe you. So, it's getting late. I figured I'd buy you dinner.
Fancy: Really? How sweet. Where, the Seascape? Their poached salmon is fabulous. But I'm starving, so even that little tacky Lobster Shack will do.
Payne: Huh? Ain't nothing wrong with the food I dish up.
Waitress: Two roadhouse fry-ups. Get 'em while they're hot. The chef fried those wieners extra crispy just for you.
Theresa: Alistair, what are you doing in my bedroom?
Alistair: Oh, don't be absurd. You know why I'm here. It's part of our deal. You get to be close to Ethan and Jane, and I get to be close to you.
Eve: T.C., don't overreact. It's not as bad as I thought. It's a bump and there's a little cut at the hairline.
T.C.: But all that blood, Eve --
Eve: Head wounds always bleed profusely. You know, this is going to be tender for a few days, ok, so you take it easy, but there's actually no harm done.
T.C.: Thank God. I'm going down there and take care of that Spike right now.
Simone: No, Daddy, wait. Don't do anything stupid. I don't even know if he's responsible.
T.C.: Anybody who hurts my daughter gets hurt.
Liz: T.C., listen to her. Remember your anger-management classes.
T.C.: All right. I will talk to Sam. He has a line on this Spike character.
Eve: And you, young lady, will you please talk to me and tell me what you were doing in such a bad part of town?
Simone: I was just taking a walk. You know, I'm going to go upstairs to my room.
Eve: No, not yet. You're not going anywhere until I get some answers out of you.
Jessica: Daddy, I don't want to talk to you.
Sam: Jess, listen to me, I just want what's best for you.
Spike: Like hell. I'm what's best for you, baby.
Sam: Jessica, listen to me. I love you. Come home!
Jessica: Spike's right, Daddy. He's always right. You never ask me what I want. You just tell me what to do, and I'm sick of it. I'm staying here with Spike.
Spike: Score one for the Spike man. You lose, Daddy. Boom!
Sam: Jessica? Jessica! Damn it.
T.C.: Sam, Simone just came home all beat up, and I know who did it. You got to help me find this Spike!
Sam: Yeah, we'll find him. And I swear to God, I'm going to kill him.
Fancy: Ew! You're not going to eat that stuff, are you?
Noah: I love this stuff. Hey, if yours is up for grabs, I'll eat that, too.
Fancy: Be my guest. Ew. I don't care for domestic beer.
Noah: All the more for me. Ah, ah. Mmm. Hey, so we never finished talking about what I owe you, if anything.
Fancy: Of course you owe me. I convinced my grandfather to get those goons from Vegas to back off. You're off the hook now and your family isn't in danger anymore.
Noah: Yeah, maybe, but you're the one who got us in danger in the first place.
Fancy: I like that.
Noah: Anyway, I didn't ask for your help, all right, or your grandfather's. I sure as hell don't want to owe Alistair anything.
Fancy: You don't owe my grandfather, you owe me.
Noah: All right. So let's say I do. How am I going to pay you back?
Fancy: You have to do me a little favor.
Noah: You don't know what "little" means.
Fancy: All right, fine, it's a huge, big, whopping favor. You have to give me something I need, something I want, something I haven't had for days.
T.C.: My little girl, she staggers into the house, her head is bleeding, Sam! Eve fixed her up. She said it's not serious, but I know who did it. She was attacked down there! Let's go down there and take care of this Spike once and for all!
Sam: Damn it, T.C., I would like to, but Jessica's still got that restraining order against me.
T.C.: Damn it, Sam, she moved back into the house!
Sam: And she moved back out. Which means that order's in effect until she pulls it. You should've heard her on the phone, T.C. She sounded so angry, just like before. That Spike pumps her full of drugs and then gets her to do whatever the hell he wants.
T.C.: And now that bastard hurt my little girl. Sam, we've got to stop him.
Sam: You know what? The hell with that restraining order. After we get through with him, he'll wish he was never born. Let's go.
Spike: Look, we're copasetic? You'll do whatever I ask you to? Because God knows I need you to make some money.
Jessica: Yeah. I don't know.
Spike: Oh, so this is the thanks I get, huh? I helped you get rid of that guy that you killed and kept you out of prison. You know what, honey? You know what? I don't need you, ok? Out! Go back home to your daddy.
Jessica: Wait, no, I love you! Please, I'll do anything you want.
Theresa: Whatever you want, now's not a good time.
Alistair: It's a good time whenever I say it's a good time.
Theresa: But --
Alistair: No "buts." I have fulfilled my part of our bargain. You're living here in the mansion, you're close to your daughter. Oh, and I saw you and -- what's his name? -- Ethan canoodling in the nursery.
Theresa: So you were spying on me?
Alistair: Don't be so naive, Theresa. Nothing escapes me, not even you. You and I made a deal. And now's the time for you to pay up.
Theresa: "Pay up"?
Alistair: Mm-hmm. That earthquake interrupted our date, so now we're going to go out on another date. And it will be a night that you will never forget. Never.
Noah: So what's this big favor, huh? What haven't you had in days?
Fancy: Well, it's not too extreme. But it is non-negotiable.
Noah: Whoa, this isn't anything illegal, is it?
Fancy: Oh, right. Like I haven't seen you bend the rules since the first day I met you, if not downright break them.
Noah: Ok, ok. But I'm not going to knock over a jewelry store, if that's what you want.
Fancy: Oh, it's nothing like that.
Noah: Well, what is it?
Fancy: Well --
Woman: How about a dance, handsome?
Second woman: Say yes.
Noah: Wait, you want me to dance with both of you?
Woman: I'd say there's enough of you to go around.
Second woman: Mmm, and it's all prime.
Fancy: Um, excuse me, we're talking.
Woman: Yeah, we heard you before. You said he wasn't your boyfriend. In this joint, that means he's fair game. So how about it? Dance?
Noah: What do you say, huh? If I'm your boyfriend, you know, I'm going to stay here, but if I'm not, I'm going to dance. It's your call.
Fancy: So dance, then. Knock yourself out.
Noah: It's your loss.
Singer: Well I'm an eight ball shootin' double-fisted drinkin' son of a gun. I wear my jeans a little tight just to watch the little boys come undone
Simone: Let go of me! You don't have to treat me like a 2-year-old!
Eve: Well, I do if you're going to act like one. What is the matter with you, Simone? You say you're going to California on a school trip, and then I find out that you're holed up in Harmony with God knows who.
Simone: With friends, Mother, friends.
Eve: Friends? Have I met these friends?
Simone: I'm an adult now. I can handle my own life.
Eve: Ah, yes, like getting beat up in the street?
Simone: Well, it's better than being on trial for three attempted murders.
Eve: Thank you, Simone. I'd almost forgotten about that for five minutes. Thank you. Honey, what am I going to do with you? Don't you know that sensible people who are in charge of their lives, they don't lie to their parents? Do you want to end up like Jessica?
Simone: Oh, please.
Eve: You know, and while I think about it, what happened to all the money that I gave you to go out west?
Simone: Spent it.
Eve: You spent $1,000? On what? I'm sorry. I'm -- I'm berating you and you're in pain. Let me get you some ice. What is this? What, "full payment for --" for your trip? But I paid for that trip, honey. I -- I gave you a check for the whole amount. Please don't tell me you got your father to give you $1,000, as well. Oh, so you're not just lying to your parents, you're stealing from them, as well.
Simone: No, I needed it!
Eve: For what?
Eve: Things? What things?
Simone: You wouldn't understand. It's complicated.
Eve: Oh, really? Well, then you're going to have to speak very slowly. But I did get through medical school. I think I may be able to understand.
Julian: Haven't you had enough to drink?
Liz: Now, that's funny coming from you. Why don't you join me? Way things are going, you and me are going to be out in the cold.
Julian: You're drunk.
Liz: Well, I'd rather be drunk than stupid. Do you really think Eve is going to pick you? Once she gets Simone squared away and T.C. comes back, big sister is going to have to make a big, big decision. Which man will she pick? You or T.C.?
Julian: I want her to pick the man she thinks will make her happy.
Liz: And you think that's going to be you? You dumb sap. She's not going to pick you. She's going to pick T.C. and not because she loves him, either, but she's going to do it to make me angry. This whole thing is not about love. It's about hate. As if she could love, the self-centered whore. You know, that's what she is. She's a self-centered whore, and you are the one who should know that because you're the one who turned her into one in Boston. Even Aunt Irma saw it. She is a self-centered whore, Julian! A whore, a whore, a whore!
Julian: You disgust me.
Liz: Don't you ever turn your back on me. Ah!
Sheridan: I'm sorry for doubting you.
Chris: Hey, I don't blame you. This whole thing has blown me away, as well. I've been looking for them for so long. But I did come to town to do the story on the tsunami. I was shocked when they called me to tell me my boy's in town, too.
Sheridan: It's an amazing coincidence.
Chris: Well, maybe it's more. Maybe God brought me here because my son needed me at this very moment. Because God took Maureen and James needs his father now.
Sheridan: I'd like to think that's true.
Man: I have some papers here for you to sign and then you'll be free to take him home.
Sheridan: So I guess that means you're leaving Harmony.
Chris: No, no, no, I've still got work to do here. We'll be staying at the bed-and-breakfast for a while.
Sheridan: So I'll still get to spend time with Mar-- James, if it's all right with you, of course.
Chris: Of course. Here, why don't you hold him?
Sheridan: Thank you.
Chris: Excuse me. It's my editor. Christopher Boothe. Yeah, I've got the boy. Ok, that's what I'll do then. No, I don't think she suspects a thing.
Spike: Ok, Jess, you can stay. But don't hurt me again, all right? I can't take it.
Jessica: I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you.
Spike: Ok, baby. Well, honey, we should get going. The johns will be out prowling just as soon as the sun goes down.
Jessica: Ok. But I'm so tense. Could I have a couple more hits?
Spike: I have one more. Oop. Easy. For you, baby, anything. Nice. You feel good?
Spike: Let's get going, baby, ok, come on. Whoa! What the hell --
T.C.: You bastard. You're going to pay for what you did to my little girl.
Noah: That was a blast. Have you ever tried line dancing?
Fancy: Ask my mother. I hear it was very popular in the 1980s.
Noah: Hey, where's my burger? What happened to all the food?
Fancy: I don't know what's gotten into her.
Noah: I do -- my dinner. Well, I guess any dog that likes burgers and hotdogs is fine by me. Guess you and me have a little more in common than I thought, huh, you little rat?
[Prestine barks and growls]
Noah: Maybe not.
Fancy: Can we leave now?
Noah: Tell me what it is you want.
Fancy: Never mind. I'll call a cab. You go dance with Laverne and Shirley. If you're lucky, maybe they'll give you a little hayride in their pickup truck.
Noah: Hey, hey, come on now, don't be like that, all right? They're sweet. Now, let's say I do owe you something, all right? What is it that you want from me?
Fancy: You really want to know? I want one night with you. One gorgeous evening that we'll never forget.
Noah: You mean sex? You want me to have sex with you?
Jessica: Daddy, what are you doing here? I told you I was staying with Spike.
Sam: Jessica, you don't mean that.
Jessica: Yes, yes, I do.
Sam: Oh, my God, she's high.
Spike: So what if she is, man? What the hell --
T.C: You hurt my girl?
Spike: Yo, man, who the hell are you, man? Oh, you must be that nosy Simone's dad.
T.C.: Bastard, you're going to pay for what you did to her!
Spike: Hey, man, back off me! I didn't touch her, ok?
T.C.: My daughter's got a cut on her head and you're the last person she remembers seeing.
Spike: Oh, oh, right, right, right, I do remember seeing Simone down in a real bad part of town. You know, there was this kind of creepy guy behind her. He looked kind of dangerous. You know, really, you ought to keep your daughter off the streets at night and maybe she wouldn't get hurt, ok?
T.C.: Sam, let me go! I'm going to kill him!
Sam: T.C., it's not me! It's not me!
Spike: Good job, buddy, good job! Now, you and your buddy here are going to go to jail, huh? You like that? Ha! Whoo!
Liz: You hit me. How dare you, you coward! You hit a woman!
Julian: I don't hit women. But you -- you see, you're hysterical with your anger and your hatred.
Liz: Well, you are right because I hate you!
Julian: You hate everyone! But what's worse, deep down you hate yourself, deep down, my dear!
Julian: You are very sick! If there was ever anything good inside of you, it has been so stunted and deformed, and now it's just killing you!
Liz: Stop it!
Julian: And all of your plans to ruin Eve's life have failed, because you know why? Because Eve was put on this earth to love and care for people!
Julian: It pours out of her! That's why I love her and that's why T.C. wanted to marry her, and that's why after spending just a couple months with you he wants her back.
Julian: He realizes that a life with you can never compare to a life with Eve.
Liz: Stop it!
Simone: You are in no position to tell me how to lead my life. Go away.
Eve: No. No, not until you tell me what's going on. You are lying, you are stealing, you're vanishing with people we don't even know. This isn't you.
Simone: How would you know? You don't even know me. None of you do.
Eve: Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way, Simone. And maybe I haven't really paid you enough attention.
Eve: I'm sorry. I really am, baby. But I'm here now, and I can promise you that I will be here from now on. I love you, little girl, so much. And you can tell me anything. You know, I'm always ready to listen. You can tell me anything, baby.
Simone: You mean that?
Eve: Of course I do. You're my daughter. You're part of me.
Simone: Ok. Well, sit down. I'll tell you. But I don't think you're going to like it. I
Simone: So that's the whole story.
Eve: I see.
Simone: Oh, no, I knew it. You're mad at me, aren't you?
Eve: No, baby, I'm not mad at you. How could I be mad at you? I'm just so happy that you told me. And I just wanted my girls to be happy anyway.
Simone: I just thought you would fly off the handle.
Eve: Oh, gosh. Thank you for trusting me. And you know that I'm here for you always. You know that, right?
Simone: Thank you, Mom, for being so understanding.
Eve: Baby. Baby.
Julian: Pathetic Liz!
Liz: Go ahead, Julian. You judge me and you can mock me, but I will get the last laugh. It doesn't matter what man Eve picks! She's going to jail! And maybe for the rest of her life.
Spike: Well, I'm glad I called for a little backup because, you know, really, I figured that you'd disobey the restraining order.
T.C.: You should be arresting this punk instead of us.
Spike: Now, that ain't going to happen. The press is going to love an ex-police chief getting arrested in his own town. And you, my friend? You're just an extra added attraction. You are going to get booked on assault.
Officer: Sorry, Sam. You know we got to take you in.
Sam: Yeah, right. Oh, right. I forget who's in charge now, huh -- Alistair Crane. You'd better read me my rights.
Jessica: Wait, wait! You can't arrest them. We can stop this. They don't have to go to jail.
Spike: Baby, they broke the law. You wanted the restraining order. You remember?
Jessica: Yeah, yeah. He's just worried about me. Please let him go. I'm hoping that some day you two will mend fences and like each other.
Spike: Of course. You want him to walk you down the aisle at our wedding, don't you, sweetie?
Spike: Ok, beautiful. If you can get the cops to let your father go, I won't press charges on that other fool over there, ok?
Jessica: Thank you, Spike. Hey, I don't want to enforce the restraining order. If my dad and Coach Russell promise to stay away, can they go?
Officer: I don't know.
Spike: Guys, I won't press charges, either.
Officer: If you say so.
Spike: Now, you two, get the hell out of here. I don't want to see either one of your faces again.
T.C.: Son of a --
Spike: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Sam: It's not worth it. Calm down. Jessica, please, I love you. Come home. Come home again, be with us.
Sam: You remember one thing -- this is not over.
Spike: You remember this -- next time, you go to prison. Ok? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. Bye-bye.
Crowd: I want sex! I want sex!
Woman: I thought he wasn't your boyfriend.
Fancy: He's not.
Woman: So you just give it up to strangers?
Noah: Whoa, hey, Fancy, smile, all right, or you'll never live it down.
Fancy: I don't care about people like this!
Crowd: I want sex! I want sex!
Fancy: Prestine, Mommy made a fool out of herself again.
Noah: You all right?
Fancy: Oh, yeah, I'm great. The minimum-wage earners of Harmony think I'm hilarious.
Noah: Hey, don't be like that, all right? Now, come on, what's this big favor? What do you want me to do?
Fancy: Well, it's not sex. All I wanted was a nice night out on the town. >From the minute I got off the plane, it's been nothing but hell here -- earthquakes, tsunamis, getting kidnapped. I'm leaving for Paris ASAP.
Noah: Whoa, Paris. Why?
Fancy: I just need to get out of here, that's all. But before I go, I just want one glorious evening -- formal, you know? You in a tuxedo and me in an evening gown, a lovely restaurant, music, candles, dancing -- the whole bit. It'll be my farewell to Harmony.
Noah: And you want to share this with me? Why?
Fancy: I just thought it'd be nice to see what we'd be like if we weren't fighting -- just, you know, maybe if we talked and laughed and had fun.
Noah: This is all that you want me to do?
Fancy: Yes. So what do you say? You owe me, Noah. You ready to start paying off your debt?
Chris: What an unbelievable day. One phone call and, boom, I got my son back.
Sheridan: I'm really happy for you, for both of you.
Chris: Don't worry. One day, you'll have Marty back in your arms and you'll know precisely how happy I am right now.
Sheridan: Well, that's my prayer.
Chris: Excuse me. Christopher Boothe. Yeah. Ok. Thanks. I've got to go to work.
Sheridan: What about James?
Chris: Hmm. I've got an idea, and I hate to impose, but would you mind terribly watching James while I go to work?
Sheridan: Mind? I can't think of anything I'd rather do. Come here.
Chris: Here you go, boy.
Alistair: So we have a date. I'll leave you to get ready.
Theresa: No, I can't do it. I can't go out with you, Alistair. I'm just -- I don't feel very well all of a sudden. Oh, goodness.
Alistair: Shame, shame, shame.
Theresa: What are you doing?
Alistair: Oh, calling my personal physician. I'm sure he'd be delighted to give you a thorough examination.
Theresa: No, it's ok. I'm not that sick.
Alistair: I didn't think so. Get dressed.
Theresa: But I don't have anything to wear.
Alistair: Through that door is a closet full of designer dresses for Rebecca, Ivy, and Fancy. See what you like. They're all paid for by me. Take the one you want. It's not as though you're going to have it on that long, anyway.
Theresa: Alistair, please.
Spike: You did good, baby.
Jessica: Hey. You do love me, don't you?
Spike: Honey, how can you ask me that? I love you more than anything. Ok?
Spike's voice: Except money, and you'll make plenty of that for me on your back.
Fancy: What do you say?
Noah: It's a deal. One glorious night, and then we're even.
Fancy: And then I'll leave Harmony. Who knows if I'll ever come back.
Woman: There you are. You said that you would dance with us again.
Second woman: I've got moves you never dreamed of, sweet cheeks.
Fancy: Have your fun with him now, girls. Tonight, he is all mine.
Sheridan: I would love to take care of Mark -- I mean, James. He's my best pal, aren't you, sweetheart?
Chris: Well, if you're sure, it'll be a big load off my mind.
Sheridan: Absolutely. You go ahead and do whatever you have to do and I'll get him ready for a walk. I think part of the wharf has been cleaned up, so we'll go down there and I'll get him some ice cream. Would you like some ice cream?
Chris: Hello. Yeah, it worked fine. There's nothing to worry about.
Alistair: Listen to me -- you owe me, and I'm demanding my payment tonight! Get dressed.
Theresa: Oh, my God. What have I done?
T.C.: So where's Eve?
Eve: You're back.
T.C.: So how is Simone?
Julian: Yes, is she all right?
Eve: She's fine. She's having some milk and brownies in the kitchen.
T.C.: That'll cure anything.
Eve: So what happened with Sam?
T.C.: It'll keep.
Liz: As if you don't know? They want to hear which one of them is the unlucky bastard who gets stuck with you for life.
T.C.: All right, Liz, there's no reason to speak that way.
Julian: Yes, haven't you said enough?
Liz: Oh, not half of what I want to say.
Eve: Enough. She's right, I -- I have made up my mind who I want to be with.
On the Next Passions:
Fancy: Noah Bennett will give me his unconditional surrender.
Ethan: Looks like Alistair went all out, huh -- diamonds and rubies? I hope it's worth it.
Alistair: Eve Russell's a whore.
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