Passions Transcript Thursday 7/21/05 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Thursday 7/21/05--Canada; Friday 7/22/05--USA
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By Amanda
Proofread by Jodi

Jessica: Spike, can't I start over fresh tomorrow night? I mean, so much has happened tonight -- your fight with my dad, having him and my brothers arrested. It's just really hard to act sexy after I lied to the police about my daddy and Noah and Ethan attacking me.

Spike: Ok, maybe they didn't actually hit you, but just their coming down here is an attack on your judgment, your independence, and me. And you know we need a stash of cash to get my club up and running again. You don't want me to go work in Alaska.

Jessica: I know. I'm doing this for us, for our future together.

Spike: Here, baby. This will help get you in the mood to turn a few tricks, ok? Tell you what -- you make us a little bit of money, and then you can call it a night. There's my girl. I knew I could count on you.

Noah: I hear what you're saying, Dad. I know I need to get my act together, stop lying to you and to myself. There's just -- there's no future in gambling, so -- you know, I want the life that you and Mom had, you know? No more living on the edge with someone like Fancy Crane. She's caused me nothing but grief.

Sam: You'll meet someone, Noah, probably when you least expect it.

Noah: Hmm. I just want to meet a nice girl and have a nice, quiet life. You know, living in the spotlight like Fancy -- that's not for me. There's just too many unsavory people out there.

Man: Take care of these two, huh? They found the gun, the stiff, and they took my money. That's three strikes against them.

Joey: We'll take them out, boss. No problem.

Man: We know the guy is in Harmony now, so the girl must be there, too.

Joey: We'll find them and we'll kill the both of them.

Fancy: Just save the denials, Mother. I know you did something you don't want anyone to know about. And that's fine by me, I really don't care. Just don't judge me or what I do, because I'm sure you've done worse -- probably a whole lot worse.

Ivy: Oh, Fancy. If you only knew the things I've done.

Gwen: Miss Jane is sleeping like an angel.

Ethan: That's good.

Gwen: What has you so engrossed?

Ethan: Oh, this -- this is a copy of my dad's contract with the city. Since Alistair had him fired without just cause, I got to find some kind of legal option to get him reinstated as the chief of police.

Gwen: Ok, I understand you wanting to help your dad out. Just be careful, ok? We don't want Alistair to find out what you're doing.

Ethan: Yeah, um -- Gwen, he already knows what I'm doing.

Gwen: What? How?

Ethan: I told him. I told him that I was going to help my father get his job back and that he should -- how did I put it? -- Yeah, rot in hell for what he's putting Sheridan and Luis through.

Gwen: Please tell me you're joking.

Ethan: No. He was so upset he almost had a heart attack, actually.

Gwen: Have you completely lost your mind? I mean, do you have any idea what he's going to do now? He's going to come after you and me and my mother and he's going to destroy our lives, just like he destroys anyone who dares cross his path.

Alistair: Shall we go?

Theresa: Yes.

Martin: Over my dead body!

Theresa: Papa, please stop!

Martin: You're not taking my daughter anywhere, now, are you, Crane?

Alistair: I believe that is Theresa's decision to make, not yours.

Martin: And I'm making it for her. I swear to god, you touch her, and I will kill you.

Noah: Can we stop and get a drink? You know, maybe catch up on some live music before we go home? I'm just too riled up about Jessica lying for Spike and Fancy being her usual snotty self to go to sleep.

Sam: Look, I'd like to, son, but not tonight. There's something I need to take care of.

Noah: Does it involve Jessica? No, I'm coming with you.

Sam: No, you're not. Ok? Look, I want you to go home. It's been a rough night. You deserve to unwind a little.

Noah: So do you.

Sam: Look, some other time, ok?

Noah: Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?

Sam: Look, don't worry. I won't get arrested twice in one night. Listen -- like I said, go out tonight, have some fun. Who knows, you may meet that girl you're going to have that nice, quiet life with.

Noah: Yeah.

Ivy: Where are you going now?

Fancy: Out. You've criticized me and the way I live my life more than enough for one evening.

Ivy: But it's getting late, Fancy.

Fancy: Well, it's too late for us, Mother. You were never there for me growing up, so I don't know why you think you have the right to tell me what to do now.

Ivy: Fancy, I know you don't believe this, but I do love you. And I don't want to see you make the same mistakes I made at your age.

Fancy: What makes you think I will?

Ivy: Because I see the way you live your life -- the parties and the men. Someday you're going to have to settle down.

Fancy: Maybe someday I will, but not now. This is my time to have fun, to live life to the max, and that's just what I'm going to do.

Ivy: Fun doesn't last forever, Fancy. Someday it will catch up with you.

Fancy: And when that day comes, I'll deal with it. Until then, I plan to keep my dance card full. Oh, and don't wait up, Mother. You really do need your beauty sleep.

Ivy: Oh, Fancy. I'm afraid you're headed for trouble. Big, big trouble.

Man: Who the girl is won't be a mystery much longer.

Joey: Right. First we find the guy, get him to I.D. her, then it's checkout time for the both of them.

Man: Because no one crosses the boss and lives to tell about it.

Joey: That's right.

Man: Ugh.

Mrs. Wallace: Ooh. Come on, boys! Come on, pick up the pace here. You know, you're cramping my style.

Man: Edna, you're wearing us out.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, no, honey. No, no, this is nothing. Wait till I get you back to my room at Chez Tabitha's. Then I am really -- ooh -- really going to be wearing both of you out.

Man: Does that mean what I think it means?

Mrs. Wallace: Yep, it most certainly does. Honey, I'm making up for lost time here! You two are going to be doubling my pleasure! Yeah!

Liz: Some women have no shame.

Bartender: You don't see women that age dance like that.

Liz: Or with men like that.

Bartender: They must be in town for the summer.

Liz: I wonder. The more I look at that woman, the more familiar she seems to me. I wonder if I do know her.

Bartender: How's it going? What'll it be?

Noah: Gin and tonic.

Bartender: Oh, we're out of gin. The lady and her boy toys drank it all.

Mrs. Wallace: Come on, boys! Whoo!

Noah: All right, then. A vodka tonic.

Bartender: Sure thing. Hey, weren't you in here a while back, looking for a poker game?

Noah: Ah, good memory. Yeah, but since then I've sworn off cards.

Bartender: Do you feel lucky again?

Noah: No, man, I'm serious. No more cards or women with attitude. I'm done with both. Whew.

Bartender: All right.

Liz: Hello, and welcome to the Blue Note. May I seat you at a table?

Fancy: That'd be nice.

Liz: Ok, how many are in your party?

Fancy: Just me. I'm here alone.

Liz: What, a beautiful girl like you?

Fancy: It's ok. Believe me, I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now anyway. I've had enough trouble with men lately -- one in particular.

Liz: Well, this is a place to forget all about him. Follow me, I'll show you.

Sam: Oh, my god, Jess. How did it come to this? Sweet dreams, sweetheart.. I love you.

Young Jessica: I love you, too, Daddy.

Sam: Mmm. Thank you for inviting me to your tea party. You're daddy's beautiful little girl. "And they lived happily ever after."

Young Jessica: Just like us, Daddy.

Sam: Just like us.

Sam: Jess, there has to be a way for us to have that happy ending. There has to be.

Spike: Hey. I'm surprised you're still here. I thought you'd be off doing business by now.

Jessica: No one's been by, Spike.

Spike: Don't worry -- once the bars close, you'll have plenty of offers. Well, look who's here.

Jessica: Oh. That's my dad's car. Hey, please don't do anything to him, Spike.

Spike: Oh, I won't unless he violates the restraining order against him and comes within 100 feet of you. And if he does -- bam -- right back in the slammer he goes.

Jessica: I -- I'm sure daddy doesn't want to cause more trouble.

Spike: Yeah, really? Well, that's up to him. Me? I kind of like it that he's there watching you.

Spike's voice: I know it's killing your old man to see what I've turned you into.

Jessica: Uh, what's so funny about my dad being here?

Spike: Oh, nothing really. I just was thinking that if ex-big shot chief Sam comes near you, then it becomes a problem for the police. Yep.

Sam: Jess, if only I could get through to you.

Gwen: Well, I guess we'll need to make plans to leave Harmony now.

Ethan: What are you talking about?

Gwen: Ethan, you crossed Alistair, you're on his bad side. Now, do you really think he's going to keep you on as legal counsel at Crane Industries?

Ethan: Honey, he's got no choice. I have a contract. If he wants to fire me, he's going to have to pay me for the time I have left.

Gwen: Ok, well, he may not fire you, but he certainly is going to make our lives a living hell.

Ethan: No. I doubt it. I really doubt it because that man knows that he needs me more than I need him or Crane.

Gwen: Ok. The point is you crossed Alistair and no one just gets away with crossing him. Look, no wonder you, Sam, and Noah were arrested tonight. His revenge has started already.

Ethan: No, no. No, that fight had nothing to do with Alistair whatsoever..

Gwen: Yeah, I wouldn't bet on that.

Ethan: Honey, Noah and I went to help Dad find Jessica. Everything just went downhill from there.

Gwen: Look, the point is you crossed the line in the sand with Alistair, and I think that we need to leave Harmony before he can come after us.

Ethan: Honey, we're not going anywhere.

Gwen: Ok, well, Alistair is going to --

Ethan: Harmony is our home. It's going to take a lot more than big, old, bad Alistair to make me pack my bags and leave.

Martin: You come near Theresa again and I'll kill you.

Alistair: Your threats have always been rather impotent. Are you that way at home, too?

Martin: Ugh! Miserable son of a --

Theresa: Ok, Papa, just stop it! Stop it! Leave him alone, please.

Martin: Why should I?

Alistair: Oh, why should you? You're back with your lovely Pilar. You've buried all those things or most of those things of the past. Now, I think it would be a very grave mistake if you did anything to harm the future you will have with your wife and family.

Pilar: Martin? Martin, I think Alistair is right. What's buried in the past should be left in peace for everyone's sake.

Theresa: Am I missing something?

Alistair: No, my dear. It's just very doubtful that your father would ever be nominated as best host of the year.

Theresa: Oh, god, you're bleeding.

Martin: I didn't do that. It's not my fault.

Alistair: Martin's right. It was another violence-prone member of this family.

Pilar: Luis?

Alistair: Yes, Pilar, Luis, as if you didn't know. He blames me for Sheridan finally coming to her senses and dumping him.

[Alistair laughs]

Alistair: You know, it's amazing to me that all the members of this family are always blaming someone else for their failures. It's like you, Martin. I mean, there you go -- you abandoned your family, but you can't blame me for that. It was your choice. Wasn't it, Pilar?

Martin: You lying bastard, you know why I left. I left because of --

Pilar: No! Don't.

Theresa: Mama's right. Let's just stop. Alistair and I are going out and that's it.

Sam: Jessica, come on! We're going to be late for math!

Young Jessica: Coming, Daddy.

Sam: Look at you. You look so pretty, like -- like an angel.

Young Jessica: Oh, look, Daddy! Look, Daddy! Kay's home run just tied the game! They'll have to go into extra innings now.

Sam: Well, you know what that means.

Young Jessica: An extra hotdog and soda for us.

Sam: Your mother may have left us, but I'm still here for you, and I always will be. I love you. And whenever you need me, I'll always be there to help you.

Jessica: Thank you, Daddy. I love you, too. I need you now, Daddy. Help me.

Sam: You came back.

Ethan: You need to relax. I won't let Alistair take control of our lives.

Gwen: Look, you know better than probably anyone how vindictive Alistair is. I mean, he cut you off the second he found out you were a Bennett, he redecorated your room as if you never lived here. He obliterated you from all the family photos, right? You know what he did to Sheridan and Luis. He took her son from her.

Ethan: I am well aware of what Alistair is capable of doing. But I will not let what he might or might not do stop me from doing what is right. Gwen, I need to get my father reinstated as the chief of police, period.

Gwen: I understand where you're coming from. I'm just asking you for a second to see my point of view here.

Ethan: Which is exactly what?

Gwen: By you confronting Alistair the way you did, I feel that we have no choice but to leave Harmony because Alistair is going to come after us.

Ethan: No.

Gwen: No?

Ethan: No! No, Gwen, because even if we try to leave, he'll find us no matter what. And besides, I know you don't want to hear this, but it's really not fair to take Jane away from Theresa either. She needs to be close to her daughter, Gwen.

Gwen: Right. The almighty Theresa, of course.

Ethan: Gwen, if we go on the run --

Gwen: Ahem.

Ethan: It's going to adversely affect every single custody decision that's rendered by the courts. And I don't know about you, but I don't want any judge having any reason whatsoever to take Jane away from us and give Theresa full custody of Jane, ok? I'm not going to risk losing my little girl or not being able to see her whenever I want. If we leave Harmony, we leave Jane's life.

Gwen: "We leave Jane's life." So why don't you tell me -- is it really Jane's life you're worried about leaving, or is it Theresa's?

Martin: Let me tell you something --

Theresa: Papa, please -- look, I'm going out to dinner with Alistair and that's final.

Alistair: Dinner and dessert, my dear.

Theresa: Whatever. Don't wait up.

Pilar: No! No, no, no, no, no, Theresa! I can't let you leave this house with this monster! Listen to me -- you killed my Antonio when you blew up the Crane jet, and you destroyed Luis' happiness with Sheridan, but I will not let you destroy Theresa's happiness! You stay away from my daughter. Stay away from her!

Theresa: Mama, please, stop.

Alistair: Well, Martin had his turn, so why don't you take your best shot, Pilar. But make it quick. After all this fighting, I've been left with a very ravenous appetite.

Pilar: Go eat alone. Hopefully you'll choke on your food and die!

Theresa: Ok. Excuse me, I just need to speak with my mother for a second. Mama, please.

Alistair: Of course. I'll be outside.

Alistair: If I wanted company, I would've asked for it, Fitzgerald.

Martin: Good. I'm not letting you out of my sight until you leave.

Alistair: And I'm not leaving without Theresa.

Pilar: Theresa, dios mio. You have done some crazy things, some dangerous, crazy things. But this? Going out on a date with Alistair Crane? This is just insane, Theresa!

Theresa: It's just dinner.

Pilar: No, it isn't just dinner. Alistair's planning to have you for dessert. I can't allow this. I can't allow you to leave this house with that man!

Theresa: Mama, you can't order me around anymore. I'm a grown woman.

Pilar: Then start acting like one. My god. You know how much that man hates this family. He hates us with a passion!

Theresa: Even so, he told me he's going to get Jane back for me. That's what matters.

Pilar: Alistair's going to help you? Alistair Crane? He doesn't help anyone, Theresa. He hurts and destroys people. That's what he does. And this dinner -- this is just the beginning. He will take your very soul!

Sam: I didn't expect to see you again tonight. How did you know where to find me?

Ivy: I just had a feeling you might be here. I hope you're not upset that I came, Sam. I just thought maybe I could keep you company, and I hoped there was something I could do to help you.

Sam: Ivy, look, I'm not upset. Ok? And I appreciate the thought. But I don't think there's anything you can do. Hell, I don't think there's anything that I can do. The restraining order against me says I can't get within 100 feet of my own daughter.

Ivy: Sam, that's just -- that's not right.

Sam: Yeah, it's hell, Ivy. It's pure hell. You know, sitting here watching my daughter try to sell herself to men? God, how did it come to this? And what's worse is there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Ivy: Well, Sam, you may have a restraining order against you, but I don't. Let me talk to Jessica. Maybe -- maybe I can get her off the street before she's arrested for solicitation. God knows going to jail isn't going to help her.

Sam: No, it wouldn't.

Ivy: Then you're ok with me talking to her?

Sam: Yeah. I think that's a good idea.

Ivy: I can't make any promises, Sam. I've made so many mistakes of my own, but I do care. I do.

Sam: I believe you.

Ivy: Ok.

Noah: Now, I was serious before, man. I've sworn off gambling for good and women for a while. The last one I was with was way more trouble than she's worth. Way more.

Bartender: Oh, I hear you, man. I hear you.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, Lizzie! Hi, honey. The boys and I would like another bottle of the bubbly.

Liz: Yes, well, I'll be happy to get that for you right now.

Mrs. Wallace: What? Can't a lady show two young men a good time, hmm?

Liz: Oh, of course, of course. I just -- it's just that you reminded me of someone.

Mrs. Wallace: Demi and Ashton times two, huh?

Liz: Yes, right, that's exactly it. I'll be right back with the champagne.

Mrs. Wallace: Good. Ok, boys. We're going to drink more and then we're going to dance more and then, then, then we are going home to bed.

Man: Can't we take a breather? You're wearing us out.

Mrs. Wallace: You're kidding.

Man: We haven't worked this hard since the Camden Cheese Festival.

Second man: Shh.

Mrs. Wallace: Cheese Festival? Well, all right, boys. Don't "brie" ashamed. I'm sure you were very "gouda" at whatever you did. Ok, take five. And rest up, honey, because I have plans for you two.

Man: Plans?

Mrs. Wallace: Yes. Let's just call it the Edna two-for-one special, hmm?

Mrs. Wallace: Ooh, thank you, Liz.

Liz: Oh!

Mrs. Wallace: Ooh. Oh. Hi there. Say, you mind if I join you? You look like a girl who knows how to party.

Fancy: Sure, have a seat.

Mrs. Wallace: Thank you.

Fancy: But I'm not sure how much fun I'll be tonight.

Mrs. Wallace: A looker like you? Girlfriend, come on, you are always the center of attention, I bet -- you know, the modern-day Scarlett, eating barbecue with every buck in the county.

Fancy: I suppose that's true, most of the time.

Mrs. Wallace: Why not tonight?

Fancy: Well, there was this guy I met, but we never really got along.

Mrs. Wallace: But you liked him anyway, hmm?

Fancy: I guess. But I accidentally wound up hurting him, so I tried to help him. Then we ended up really, really not getting along.

Mrs. Wallace: Ok, ok. Say no more because I'm going to find you the perfect guy, and then we can all party, hmm?

Fancy: "We"?

Mrs. Wallace: Well, yeah. I'm with those two young studs right over there.

Fancy: Wow. They're hot.

Mrs. Wallace: Honey, they're hot for me. And if I can corral two young hunks like that, then I'm sure I can fix you up.

Fancy: Thanks, but I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now.

Mrs. Wallace: No, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not talking about just anyone. I'm talking about finding you your soul mate.

Fancy: You're that good?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, yeah. Honey, in my day, I was considered the best matchmaker in Harmony, never made a mistake -- well, except for the guy that I let sire my daughter. Well, but not worry, not to worry. I'm going to be back here in a flash with the man that you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

Mrs. Wallace: Hi.

Gwen: Ethan, just answer me. Is it Jane's life you're worried about leaving or Theresa's?

Ethan: Gwen, please. What -- what do you --

Gwen: It's a simple question, a simple answer.

Ethan: Jane's life, of course.

Gwen: Really?

Ethan: Really. I made it very clear to Theresa that I was out of her life except as Jane's father. Trust me, staying in Harmony has nothing to do with Theresa. It has everything to do with me wanting to be with my daughter.

Gwen: Fine. I'm just scared that Alistair is going to try and come after us.

Ethan: Honey, Alistair has got more to worry about than me having a backbone.

Gwen: You know, I used to just worry about what awful thing Theresa was going to throw our way, and now I need to worry about Alistair?

Ethan: Honey, we're going to be fine, I promise. What?

Gwen: I just had a pretty horrible thought. What if -- I mean, what if Alistair and Theresa join forces together and try and come after us?

Alistair: Watching you defend hearth and home is very amusing to me, Martin. I mean, really. You -- you look absolutely ridiculous. You're acting as if Theresa were some teenage virgin. The woman has two illegitimate children. She has slept with almost every Crane man except for myself.

Martin: Shut up.

Alistair: No, not "shut up." I am not leaving here without Theresa. She does not need Daddy's permission because you were never much of a Daddy to her anyway -- or her siblings.

Martin: I told you to shut up, or I will shut you up.

Alistair: What are you trying to prove? Just what are you trying to prove? When you abandoned the family, you abandoned her. Now what do you think you're going to do? You going to rush in like daddy hero? It's not going to work. She'll hate you for it.

Martin: Don't you dare to tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my children. You're no model father either. You destroy everyone around you. I saw the hell that you put Rachel and Katherine through, and Sheridan, Julian, and everyone else in this damn town. I won't let my daughter be your next victim.

Alistair: Blah, blah, blah.

Martin: That's right, but I'm warning you, Crane. You so much as even think of touching my --

Theresa: Papa, stop.

Pilar: Theresa, please don't go. Stay home with me and your father instead.

Theresa: Mama, Alistair and I are leaving now. Look, little Ethan is asleep. Please take care of him till I get back.

Alistair: Shall we, my dear?

Theresa: Yes. I'm looking forward to a lovely evening with you.

Alistair: And I promise to make it unforgettable. Good night.

Sam: I hope Ivy can get through to Jessica, convince her to come home where she belongs.

Jessica: So, you looking for company tonight? Ivy. What are you doing here? Trying to find a man to take Daddy's place in the sack?

Ivy: No, Jessica, I -- I'm worried about you, and I would like to try to help.

Jessica: You here with my dad?

Ivy: Yes. We're both very worried about you.

Jessica: Oh, spare me, ok? Neither of you cares about me. You're just being nice to get on Daddy's good side again and -- hmm -- he's getting sucked back in.

Ivy: No, Jessica. He loves you so much. That is why he's still here.

Jessica: Tell him to leave and to take you with him. I'm trying to work here.

Ivy: But, Jessica, please, you cannot sell yourself to men for money.

Jessica: Hmm, why not? You married Julian and stayed with him just for the money.

Ivy: No, that is not the way it was. My father forced me to marry Julian, and Alistair would never tolerate the scandal of a divorce.

Jessica: Oh. So you only had one john named Julian. You're still a whore.

Ivy: Jessica, please, please let us help you.

Jessica: I don't need your help or Daddy's. Both of you just go away. Go.

Flight attendant: Welcome to Harmony. On behalf of sky high airlines, we hope you all enjoy your stay.

Joey: We'll enjoy our stay, alright. You know, I think the boss will have a big bonus waiting for us once we get rid of the guy and the girl.

Man: We just have to find them first.

Joey: Yeah, don't worry, Ben. I got a contact here. He'll help us track them down.

Ben: And then it's "bang, bang, you're dead" times two.

Mrs. Wallace: I did it! I found the perfect man, a real hunkapalooza. Boy, the two of you are going to be saying your "I dos" any time now.

Fancy: Really?

Mrs. Wallace: Yes, trust me on this. No two people are more suited for each other.

Fancy: Well, what can I say but wow. So where is he?

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, he'll be over here in a minute.

Fancy: How do I look?

Mrs. Wallace: You look like a woman who's got a date with destiny. Yeah, here he is.

Noah and Fancy: You?

Sam: Well, I could tell that didn't go very well.

Ivy: I am so sorry, Sam. She just won't listen to reason.

Sam: Listen, don't blame yourself, ok? You tried. Jessica's just too angry at the world to think straight.

Ivy: Well, at least she knows you love her.

Sam: I wonder. Sometimes I think love is just -- just a word to her. Talk is cheap. I wish there was a way that I could prove to her that I care about her, some way that I could help my little girl before it's too late.

Jessica: Daddy doesn't love me. He just wants to control me. Yeah, Spike is my family now. I love him and he loves me.

Joey: So, Spike, you ever seen these two around town before?

Spike: Well, I can't see enough of the girl's face to say one way or the other, but that guy is Noah Bennett. Matter of fact, he was arrested earlier tonight.

Ben: You don't say?

Spike: Mm-hmm. Noah's old man is the former top cop here in town.

Joey: Oh, interesting. So where does this Noah guy hang his hat?

Spike: Oh, I could give you his address. But I don't think he's going to be home right now.

Ben: It's ok. He will be sooner or later.

Spike: You guys want Noah for any particular reason?

Joey: Well, let's just say he and his lady friend took something from our boss and he wants to take something back in return.

Ben: Their lives.

Spike: More grief for ex-chief Sam Bennett. Sweet. I turned his youngest daughter into a whore, and Noah's about to be snuffed out. Viva Las Vegas, man! Whoo!

Fancy: You've got to be kidding me.

Noah: You think she's the girl of my dreams? Try nightmares.

Mrs. Wallace: You two know each other?

Fancy: As much as it sickens me to admit it, yes.

Noah: Hey, I've got dibs on being sick, all right? The mere sight of you disgusts me.

Mrs. Wallace: I don't get it. You two are meant to be together. She is the yin to your yang.

Noah: Yeah, well, my yang is not interested in her ying, and neither am I.

Fancy: What a relief.

Noah: Don't flatter yourself, alright?

Fancy: You should stick to dating younger men. Your days of matchmaking are over.

Noah: Yeah, I'll say. A cobra and a mongoose have a better chance of getting along than the two of us.

Mrs. Wallace: Uh-uh-uh, excuse me. I stand by my match. You two are absolutely, positively meant for each other.

Gwen: Seriously. I mean, what if Theresa and Alistair join forces and try and come after us?

Ethan: No, no. Come here. Come here. Come here. You have to get real about this, ok, because what you're suggesting would never happen. Theresa knows better than to get involved with Alistair Crane, trust me.

Gwen: I'm not so sure about that.

Ethan: Well, I am. Gwen, she hates him and for good reason. I mean, he blew up the Crane jet with her brother Antonio on it. Sheridan and Luis would still be a couple now with Marty if it wasn't for Alistair.

Gwen: This is Theresa we're talking about.

Ethan: Exactly, Gwen. You know she was burned to a crisp when it came out that her marriage to Julian was a practical joke. Alistair had her fired from Crane Industries, and then he allowed your mother to run roughshod over her and her whole family after Sarah died. Trust me, honey, she is never going to betray herself and her family and join forces with Alistair Crane. It's not going to happen, not in a million years.

Martin: I mean, I know Theresa thinks she can handle herself, and up to a point she can. But our daughter is no match for Alistair.

Pilar: No, she's not. Oh, god, Martin, when I think of what Alistair could do to our Theresa, my blood runs cold.

Martin: Mine, too, Pilar. Mine, too.

[Alistair hums]

Theresa: Well, this is interesting.

Alistair: Yes.

Theresa: This is definitely not your ordinary limo.

Alistair: No, it's just proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks, as I'm sure you will, too. Here's to a lovely evening, my dear.

Theresa: Yes, yes, to a lovely evening.

Alistair: Ah. I hope I wasn't remiss in saying how lovely you look in that dress.

Theresa: Oh, no, no. Thank you. Thank you for the compliment and for the dress. It's beautiful.

Alistair: Mm-hmm. As beautiful as it is on you, I'm sure you'll be much more alluring with it off.

Theresa: What -- what are you saying?

Alistair: Well, I was just thinking that --

Theresa: Alistair -- Alistair, what are you doing?

Alistair: Just fulfilling a promise of making this a very unforgettable evening.

Theresa: Oh, my god. Oh!

On the Next Passions:

Mrs. Wallace: Isn't love wonderful? Come on, you two. Will you give it a shot?

Man: Hey, baby.

Jessica: Ah!

Sam: The lady's not for sale. Now, get the hell out of here before I call the cops.

Sheridan: I'm going to ruin Father's life and I'm actually going to enjoy doing it.

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