Friday 7/15/05--Canada; Monday 7/18/05--USA
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Sam: Get your filthy hands off her. Come on, you're coming with me.
Man: Hey, slow down, pal. I just paid for my ride. Wait your turn, she's mine.
Sam: The hell she is.
Man: Who the hell are you, her pimp?
Sam: I'm her father, you -- I'm her father. And let me tell you something -- you lay one filthy hand on her, and I swear to god I will kill you.
Man: That's your daughter? That's a new one. Let's get this straight. She took my money, and I won't leave until I get what I paid for. So back off, Daddy. Your little girl's got work to do.
Jessica: Stop it! Dad!
Mrs. Wallace: Rise and shine, girlie girls! Rise and shine.
Tabitha: You rang, again?
Mrs. Wallace: You bet your bippy I did. I have a few more projects left for you to do.
Tabitha: What now, Edna? We fixed your hip. We fixed your bunions, your memory loss, your speech impediment.
Mrs. Wallace: What speech impediment?
Tabitha: Well, we have to do a little bit more work on that, but the hair on your head is a nice youthful shade. The hair on your back is all gone.
Mrs. Wallace: Yeah.
Tabitha: And let's not forget the piece de resistance -- you no longer have to wear diapers.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh!
Tabitha: For that alone, I should get a medal. But that's it, Edna. I'm all tapped out. Now, the shop is closed till further notice.
Mrs. Wallace: Forget about it, sister. My renovation is not complete. I have a whole host of things left for you to do.
Tabitha: Uh -- to put it succinctly -- no, nix, nada, no.
Mrs. Wallace: A whole host, hmm. And I can even call on a whole host of my heavenly angels --
Tabitha: Ew --
Mrs.. Wallace: To be down here in two shakes -- count them, two.
Tabitha: Oh --
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, "roar" yourself. Come on, girls, snap to it. We got work to do! Whoo!
[Mrs. Wallace hums]
Sheridan: Please, just put my son back on the phone. I want to hear his voice.
Beth: You don't listen very well, do you? I told you you are never going to hear from or see Marty ever again. But he's fine. It's too bad you can't see him right now because he actually looks really cute. Anyway, the reason I called -- I just wanted to say goodbye properly and give you something to remember me by.
Sheridan: Don't be so cruel. Please, put my son back on the phone.
Beth: Sorry, Sheridan.
Sheridan: Please, Beth. I'll give you anything you want. Please, just give me my child back. Please, please.
Luis: Beth, where's Marty? Tell me now.
Beth: I'll see you soon, Luis. I love you.
Luis: She hung up.
Sheridan: No, no, no. Marty? Marty, please be there. Marty? I hear you, sweetheart. It's mommy. Mommy's here. Please be there, please.
Luis: Sheridan, they're gone. They're gone.
Noah: Don't do it, Dad.
Ethan: He's not worth it.
Man: Your daughter's a street whore and you come after me?
Ethan: Stop, stop.
Man: I'm just looking for a little fun. If she doesn't want to give it up to me, she shouldn't be out here.
Sam: You --
Ethan: Dad, no, no. Why don't you get the hell out of here? Just go.
Man: Not until she gives me my money back. I'll tell you what -- you lose your daddy and your brothers, and we'll get together later, huh?
Sam: You get out of here --
Man: So is that a date?
Sam: Before I kill you.
Noah: Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, where you going? Come here.
Jessica: Get your hands off me.
Sam: What the hell is wrong with you?
Ethan: Dad, Dad -- you want to get through to her, don't yell at her.
Sam: My daughter is hooking, and I can't yell at her? You're right, you're right. Honey --
Jessica: Go away.
Sam: Jessica, look at you. I'm not going to yell at you. Sweetheart, come home with me. You don't belong here. Please, let me take you home.
Ethan: Jess, we love you.
Noah: It'll be all right. Everything's going to be all right.
Mrs. Wallace: Ok. Okey-dokey, this is how I see it now. You two just warmed up by taking care of a few of my minor aging difficulties.
Tabitha: "Minor," if you don't mind, hmm?
Mrs. Wallace: Hey, no back talk from you, cutie, ok? Now, as I was saying, this is the time for the real magic, and I want the works, complete makeover. Oh, and, Tabs, please, would you make me elegantly sexy?
Tabitha: I don't there's enough magic in the universe for that.
Mrs. Wallace: Huh? Huh? What did you just say?
Tabitha: Oh, I said that we will do our best to make you look like Miss Universe, dear.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Well, that's good for a start. Oh, will you fix my hearing, too?
Tabitha: Endora, darling, will you do the honors, please?
Mrs. Wallace: Whoo! Whoa. Wow, that was better than the night in 1962 with Abdul the carpet salesman. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness, I can hear clearly. Wow! Think of all the things that I have been missing all these years, huh? Whee! Hey, Tab, Tab, Tab, please. Remember, I can hear you now.
Tabitha: Oh, well. Isn't that delightful, Edna?
Mrs. Wallace: Yeah.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Well, let me get that. Edna Wallace, hot mama. Who's this?
Mrs. Wallace: Ooh. Bethie? Don't tell me -- this is the one call you're allowed from lockup, isn't it?
Beth: No such luck, Mother. On a private jet on my way out of the country with Marty.
Mrs. Wallace: You got away with half the county looking for you?
Tabitha: Beth got away? That girl could give us all a lesson in evil.
Beth: Didn't I tell you I would? I've won. I have Sheridan's baby, and she's never going to see him again. And one of these days, I'll have Luis, too.
Mrs. Wallace: Well, I won't hold my breath.
Beth: You were wrong, Mother. You said my plan wouldn't work. Well, it has. I am on top of the world.
Sheridan: I heard him, Luis. I heard his little voice. I heard my son. Now, I got to get back on the line. I've got to get him back on the line and tell him how much I love him.
Luis: Sheridan, shh.
Sheridan: No, no, no, I got to convince Beth to bring him back home.
Katherine: Oh, darling, I --
Sheridan: No, Mother, please, just leave me alone.
Luis: Jack. Hey, were you able to trace the call? Uh-huh. Well, did you use all the stations? What about all the satellites? Ok. Yeah, I know that you did your best, Jack. Thanks. Sheridan -- honey, they weren't able to trace the call.
Luis: Beth -- she must've been using a safe phone.
Luis: Hey, Sheridan, look, the world is a smaller place now, ok? We will find him, we will bring our son home.
Sheridan: There is no "we," Luis.
Luis: Sheridan --
Sheridan: I want you to get out of here. I want you out of my house.
Luis: No, we were just starting to talk, we were feeling better.
Sheridan: No, I don't feel better about anything, especially you. I mean, every time I look at you I remember why we lost our son, and then you have the gall to stand here and talk about love while our son is god knows where. It's because of you.
Luis: It's not. It is not because of me that our son is gone.
Sheridan: I can't take this anymore. I just want you to get out of my house!
Sam: Sweetheart, listen, let's get you home. Ok? I'll run you a warm bath. I'll make you some of your mom's chamomile tea with honey. That sound good? What do you say me and you get out of here for a little while? We'll go wherever you want -- mountains, beaches. What do you say?
Jessica: Whatever you want, Daddy.
Sam: I just want to make sure that you have enough time to clear your head and stay away from that sleazebag Spike's influence. Listen, he's going down for years. I'm going to make sure that he never does this to you again.
Noah: It's too bad I didn't turn that guy into a crispy critter when I burnt down his club, huh?
Ethan: I wish you would have. The guy is a degenerate.
Noah: He's trash, and I throw trash in the garbage.
Jessica: Shut up! Shut up, all of you. Don't you ever talk about my Spike that way. I love him, and he loves me more than any of you do.
Sam: Jessica, the guy is a lowlife. He put you out on the street to sell yourself! You call that love?
Jessica: He does love me! All of you, just stop it. Spike!
Sam: Jessica --
Spike: Come here, baby.
Jessica: Hey, forget it. I won't go anywhere with you. I'll stay here with Spike.
Luis: Sheridan, calm down, ok? Calm.
Sheridan: No, you don't tell me to calm down, especially when you are the sole reason why I don't have Marty. Now, I want you out of here now.
Gwen: Sheridan, please, I wish you would --
Sheridan: Gwen, please stay out of this.
Luis: Sheridan, I swear to you I will get Marty back, ok? Just give me another chance!
Sheridan: No! You had your chance, Luis. You had plenty of chances, and you let me down each and every time. How many times did I tell you to listen to your heart? No -- Mr. Logic, Mr. Law and Order had to be right about everything while poor little Sheridan just lived in her fantasy world. I mean, my god, I was right, Luis. I was right all along. Marty is my son. Even your sister told you to listen to me, if for no other reason than because you loved me.
Luis: I do love you.
Sheridan: Well, that's not enough. You don't trust me, and when push came to shove, you failed me. You had your chance to shoot Beth and get Marty back, and you didn't. Why, Luis? Why didn't you shoot her when you knew that she kidnapped me, tried to kill me, and stole our child, stole years of our child's life away from us? You just let her go!
Luis: No, I didn't!
Sheridan: Yes, you did! You let her go and I know why. It's the same reason why you believed her more than you ever believe me -- because you still love her! You love her more than you love me!
Beth: I get Marty, and the two of us are off to live a lifestyle of the rich and the famous. And one of these days, I will get Luis, too. He loves me, Mother. He just -- he doesn't know it yet, but he still loves me.
Mrs. Wallace: Whoa. You don't need to yell, Bethie. Hey, Tabs, I heard her yell!
Beth: Don't you wish you were in my shoes, Mother?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, Bethie, go buy yourself a very rich, very famous shrink while you're at it, will you? And fly away. Fly far, far away.
Tabitha: Beth's on a plane?
Mrs. Wallace: Yeah, a private jet. She's leaving Harmony.
Tabitha: Well -- well get her to make it turn around and come back and pick you up!
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, no.
Tabitha: Beth, Beth, dear girl, come back and get your mother!
Mrs. Wallace: No! Hey, close but no cigar, tootsie.
Tabitha: But I thought you wanted to get out of town. Here's your chance, Edna.
Mrs. Wallace: Forget it. I'm staying here with you and goldilocks. Why would I ever want to leave town when I have got two wonderful witches who are going to give me my heart's desire? I'm not going anywhere, honey, so get used to it. Bye, Bethie. Give Marty a big hug and kiss for me and don't take any wooden nickels. Adios!
Beth: Lots of love to you, too.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, oh, oh -- Bethie, Bethie? Don't worry about me because I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be more than fine.
Beth: What do you mean?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, let's just say I have my own personal lotto here. Toodles, kiddo.
[Mrs. Wallace hums]
Sam: You get the hell away from my daughter or I'll --
Spike: Do what, what? What, huh? Arrest me? I think not. You won't be arresting me no more because you don't have the power. The big shot chief of police got himself canned. No more pushing around the little guy, huh?
Sam: You're nothing but a piece of garbage.
Spike: Really? Well, you're a big, fat zero.
Ethan: Why don't you shut your mouth?
Noah: All right, and get away from my sister.
Spike: I don't think so. Right, baby?
Spike: Face it, Bennett, you can't do a damn thing to me. Harmony is an open town from here on in. So you better get the hell out of here before you get hurt. It's ok, baby. I won't let them hurt you anymore, all right? Spikeman will take good care of you. So let's get out of here. Let's go do some business tonight. Let's go someplace where these punks can't scare away the customers, all right, baby?
Sam: Get your hands off my daughter!
Spike: Let go.
Jessica: Aah! Stop it! Stop!
Luis: I don't love Beth, ok? I love you.
Sheridan: Time after time, you believed Beth -- her wild stories -- more than you ever believed me, and it's because you never stopped loving her. You loved her through high school. You were going to marry her.
Pilar: Sheridan, but he never had the kind of love --
Sheridan: Pilar, please. Please be quiet, and that goes for all of you. Ever since we met, your actions proved that you picked Beth over me.
Luis: How can you possibly even think that?
Beth: He doesn't love you. He pities you. He loves me. He's only loved me. That's why he never listened to you and he always stood up for me. Because I'm the one that lives in his heart.
Sheridan: No wonder you could never listen to your heart. It's because it was with Beth. And how stupid was I to love someone who loved and trusted someone more than me? That's why I just want you to go away, Luis. I want you to just go someplace far, far away.
Jessica: Get off him! Get off Spike! Leave him alone! Leave Spike alone! Stop it! Stop! Stop no!
Ofc. McNally: All right, break it up, break it up. That's it, break it up, now!
Officer: You all right, miss?
Jessica: I -- I think so.
Spike: Hey, thank god you guys are here. These goons attacked us. It's cool, man.
Ofc. McNally: All right, that's it, let's go. You three are coming down to the station. Let's go.
Sam: McNally, listen, don't listen to him, ok? He's lying. I didn't touch my daughter.
Ofc. McNally: Chief Bennett.
Spike: No, that's ex-Chief Bennett, ok? He's nuts, all right? He tried to kill me with these two other idiots!
Noah: Oh, liar!
Spike: Oh, yeah? Hey, look what they did to my girlfriend, huh? Look at that, man. Huh, you ok, baby? You all right, sweetie? You're not hurt, are you?
Sam: McNally, this guy's out of his mind, all right? You know I didn't touch my daughter.
Officer: Your daughter?
Spike: Yeah, yeah, he saw her walking on the street, right? He went crazy. So he attacks her and I defend her, and this is what happens.
Ethan: Oh, that's a bunch of bull, man!
Noah: It's a bunch of lies.
Spike: Oh, the hell it is, the hell it is! All right, he beat up his daughter. He attacked me and Jessica. That's what happened.
Sam: That is a lie.
Noah: What a crock!
Sam: Jessica, listen to me. Just tell the truth, all right? Tell them what happened.
Jessica: My boyfriend, Spike, is telling the truth. They attacked me out of nowhere, hit me.
Sam: Jessica, what are you talking about?
Noah: Come off it, Jess!
Ethan: Don't lie to the cops.
Sam: Tell them the truth.
Jessica: Who's lying?
Ofc. McNally: You know how it goes, Chief. We got to take you three down to the station.
Sam: Oh, you're a real piece of work, you know that? A real piece of work, McNally.
Ofc. McNally: Cuff them, Charlie. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney and to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided to you at no cost.
Mrs. Wallace: Ok, ladies. Let's get cracking, because I'm ready for my makeover. Oh, and I want something -- something sexy, something that's going to show me off in my best light.
Tabitha: She looks at her best with the lights off.
Mrs. Wallace: I heard that. Now, let's snap to it, ladies, because I got plans for this new body of mine.
Tabitha: We're going to try, dear, but of course you have heard of the silk purse and the sow's ear?
Mrs. Wallace: And you have heard of St. Michael & and his terrible swift sword, hmm?
Tabitha: Very well. Endora, I'm going to need a little mojo for this, ok? Ahem. Behold an old turnip, all dried up and hairy. Just gazing at her is revoltingly scary.
Mrs. Wallace: Watch your mouth.
Tabitha: Shh! With a zap of my hands and a stomp on the floor, this dried-up old turnip will morph into Eva Gabor.
Mrs. Wallace: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Tabitha: Oh, gosh. I said Eva Gabor.
Mrs. Wallace: Did it work? How do I look?
Tabitha: Oh, my.
Mrs. Wallace: What? What? Let me see.
Mrs. Wallace: Wow. I'm a babe.
Tabitha: Yes, Babe, like the little piggy in the movie.
Mrs. Wallace: I heard that.
Tabitha: Well, of course you did. Don't you look fabulous, dear.
Mrs. Wallace: I do, don't I? But it's a little sedate for me. You know, how about -- how about something with a little more color? How about something in orange?
Mrs. Wallace: Yeah.
Tabitha: Well, if you say so, but -- come on, Endora. Ahem.
Mrs. Wallace: Whoo! Whoo! Oh. Well, better. But no. See, I want something a little more form-fitting. I want to take these puppies out for a walk.
Tabitha: You know, I'm renowned for my fashion sense in 15 dimensions.
Mrs. Wallace: Would you just do it?
Mrs. Wallace: Whoo! Oh. Ok, this is more like it. And don't be so stingy with the bling-bling.
Mrs. Wallace: Ah. Well, now we're getting somewhere. Hmm.
Luis: She hates me. I've never seen her like this before.
Pilar: Luis, mijo, she's just on an emotional roller coaster. She doesn't mean it. She doesn't even know what she's saying.
Luis: She knows exactly what she's saying. She wants me gone. So that's it. I'll go until I find Marty. Then I'll come back.
Gwen: I don't know what Beth said to you on the phone, but you know how vindictive and evil she is. You can't listen to her.
Katherine: Don't let her come between you and Luis or take Luis. She's already stolen your son. Don't let her take Luis, too. If you let her win, Sheridan, you're letting your father win, you're letting Alistair win.
Gwen: And I know you don't want that.
Katherine: Beth and Alistair would do anything to push Luis out of your life. They're using this horrible kidnapping as the wedge to drive you apart, to break you up. Don't let her. Sheridan, please. Please don't let your father's evil win the day.
Sheridan: It's not Father or Beth. It's Luis' fault.
Gwen: Well, that doesn't make any sense.
Sheridan: You don't know, Gwen.
Gwen: You know what? Then, Sheridan, take a break for a day or two, but don't just let him go. You can't let him leave Harmony alone. Either make him stay or go with him and look for Marty.
Katherine: Sweetheart, please listen to me. Not as your mother, but as a victim of your father's evil. If you let Luis leave town alone, I know exactly what's going to happen. He's going to be followed by your father's spies and every move will be reported back to Alistair, and then Alistair is going to drop fake clues in Luis' path and Luis will be chasing phantoms for years. He'll never come back, Sheridan, ever. Please, please, darling, tell Luis to stay. If you let him go, he'll be gone forever.
Spike: Hey. You done real good back there, baby.
Jessica: No, I didn't. I lied to the police. I told them my father and my brothers were the ones who hurt me. If they did, it was an accident. I just fell down. I should go in there and set things straight.
Spike: No, no, no. Come here, listen, you don't have to do that, baby. I mean, haven't your father and brother been hurting you all along, huh? And they hurt me, not just physically. They burned down my club. That's just like hurting you, baby. It's because we're a team. Now, listen, I protect you. I need you to be loyal to me.
Jessica: But people can't lie to the cops.
Spike: Listen, baby, who loves you, honey? Me, right? Not them. Now, look, we have to stick together, ok? Your family deserted you, all right? But I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you, honey.
Jessica: I don't know.
Spike: Shh, shh, shh. Listen, you know what, honey, you're just -- you're just all confused right now and all tense. Listen, lick this, a few of these, ok? This will relax you. Everything will be fine, honey. Here you go. Take it, sweetie. Yeah. Good girl.
Ofc. McNally: You know, Chief, I feel pretty bad about what happened back there. I mean, if I knew it was you and your boys, I probably wouldn't have gone so hard on you.
Sam: Oh, give me a break. You know what, I don't have the evidence, but I know you've been taking money from Alistair for years. You're dirty. You're probably enjoying this.
Ofc. McNally: A, prove it, and B, I'm still a cop. I don't like lowlifes like this guy Spike any more than you do.
Sam: Then listen to me. He's lying. We never touched my daughter.
Ofc. McNally: If you say so.
Sam: Look, she's my daughter. You know I'd never hurt her.
Ofc. McNally: Come on, Chief. How many times have you and I broken up domestic violence together?
Sam: Too many times. And I'd never hurt any of my kids. Look, it's him. He's corrupted my little girl -- sex, booze, and now this. He talked her into walking the streets. He's the one that made her lie and say that we hit her.
Ofc. McNally: Any guy did that to my daughter, I'd blow him away. All right, look, I'm sure after your daughter gives it some thought she's going to tell the truth and drop these charges. You and your boys will be out of therefore we have to book you, all right?
Ofc. McNally: Jessica. Hi, why don't you come on over here and have a seat. Here you go. All right. I want you to tell me exactly what went on out there. I'm sure this is all just a big misunderstanding. Your dad here tells me he was just trying to protect you. Now, I'm sure you don't want to press charges against your own family. Do you?
Beth: Here's to me, my future with my beautiful son and his handsome father. Mother was wrong. I'm not a loser. I'm Alistair Crane's daughter. I'm going to have everything that I ever dreamed of. Poor Sher-Sher. Well, looks like you're going to end up with the big bag of nothing.
Martin: How's Sheridan doing?
Katherine: The poor girl is devastated, Martin.
Gwen: I have never seen her like this.
Martin: Luis is the same way, too.
Katherine: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Pilar: Your hands off my husband. I never want to see you near him again, is that clear? Just stay away.
Gwen: I know what Sheridan said, but you can't go. You can't go. She needs you now more than ever.
Luis: You heard her.
Gwen: Luis, we all say terrible things when we're angry. Believe me, I know more than anyone. I said the most horrendous things to Ethan when we lost Sarah. I'm telling you, if he would have left like I asked him to, my life would've been over.
Luis: I know what I have to do.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, I don't know. Is this the real me?
Tabitha: Oh. I never thought I'd say this to a human, but mercy, Edna, mercy. We're exhausted. We haven't got a drop of magic left between us. It'll take us weeks to recuperate.
Mrs. Wallace: Hmm. Oh, pooh, Tabitha. Now, come on, you two turn those frowns upside down. We have work to do!
Tabitha: What now?
Mrs. Wallace: Well, I need one more thing. Well, actually, it's two more things, and then you can get the rest that you want.
Tabitha: No, no, not another change. You already look like a dog's dinner.
Mrs. Wallace: Hey. No, thank you very much, this is fine for right now. I am talking about my evening entertainment.
Tabitha: Like what? You mean parlor games? Oh, Endora and I love parlor games. We adore hangman and murder in the dark and sink the battleship and --
Mrs.. Wallace: No. I was thinking about something a little livelier -- like alive, like two young, gorgeous hunks with rippling muscles and abs of steel, honey! Whoo!
Tabitha: Oh, Edna, you're crazy.
Mrs. Wallace: Like a fox, Tabitha. Now, come on, honey, rustle me up some good-looking hunks with thunder buns.
Tabitha: Oh, Endora, Endora, I'm going to need a lot more help on this one, darling. Concentrate.
Tabitha: 400 pounds of muscle arrayed on manly bone. O magic wind, let loose a flood of souped-up testosterone!
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Oh, heaven. Heaven. Harmony's beefcake festival has arrived. Ok, you sweeties, why don't you show me -- whoo! -- What you've got in those Easter baskets, hmm? Oh. Oh, Edna, Edna, Edna, you are back. So let the games begin, hmm?
Ofc. McNally: Jessica? You going to drop the charges?
Jessica: No. I want to press charges.
Sam: Jessica, what are you doing?
Ethan: This is ridiculous.
Noah: We're your brothers, for god's sake!
Jessica: They hurt me and they hurt Spike. They have to be punished.
Ofc. Mcnally: Jessica, listen to me -- are you sure? If you press charges, you're going to be sending your own father and brothers to jail. After what I heard, it doesn't really sound like they were trying to hurt you at all. Sounds like they were trying to help you.
Jessica: I have no father or brothers. All I have is Spike.
Sam: Damn you.
Spike: See, it's a good thing he's off the force. Come on, baby. Let's go, baby, come on.
Ethan: Jess, Jess, don't leave us here.
Jessica: I won't drop the charges. Not now, not ever.
Noah: Could this get any worse?
Luis: Look, I know that you're mad at me and I know that you want me to leave. There is something that I have to tell you before I do. You should believe this more than you have ever believed anything in your life. I will search the world to find Beth and Marty, and I will find them. I will bring our son back to you. And then the three of us will be together like a family.
Sheridan: There is no "us" anymore, Luis.
Luis: Sheridan, you don't mean that, ok? Once I bring Marty back --
Sheridan: Even if you do find my son, even if you do bring Marty home, I don't think that we can ever be together again. Because when you let Beth get away with Marty, that ended us forever.
On the Next Passions:
Fox: Come on, tell me, what have we done to your perfect little family now, huh?
Kay: You name it, you've done it. I mean, thanks to your family, mine's in shambles. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Luis: I am going to find Beth and Marty and I'm going to bring your son back to you.
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