Thursday 5/19/05--Canada; Friday 5/20/05--USA
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Jessica: Oh -- watch it!
Kay: How long have you been here?
Jessica: Long enough.
Kay: Dad and I were having a private conversation.
Jessica: Oh, like you've never eavesdropped in your life? I learned how to do it from you.
Kay: Still --
Jessica: And just for the record, I'm not buying this new-and-improved-Kay act like Dad is. You're still the same selfish brat you've always been.
Kay: Oh, whatever. Think what you want, ok? The fact is, Maria has made me grow up a lot faster than I've wanted to. And you might want to try that sometime.
Jessica: Why should I when it's a lot more fun being young and hanging out?
Kay: You lost your virginity to a stone-cold creep, Jessica. And you could have died from all those drugs you were fooling around with.
Jessica: But I didn't, which must mean something.
Kay: It means you were lucky! And I don't even think you realize how scared Dad was, how much he loves you.
Jessica: Oh, spare me. Next you'll be telling me poison Ivy loves me, too.
Kay: Well, you know what? She might not be the monster you make her out to be.
Jessica: Says who? I don't ever want her back here, ever. And you can forget your little family dinner. I'm going out.
Kay: Jessica, no! Dad wants you home.
Jessica: Ivy couldn't stop me, and you can't, either.
Kay: I know what you want to do. You want to go out and hurt yourself some more. I won't let you break Dad's heart again. I just won't!
Jessica: Get off me! I'm going out, and you cannot stop me!
Kay: Yes, I can! You could have been killed twice now by those disgusting guys! I'll be damned if I'm going to let you go out and do it again!
Ned: You look wet.
Fancy: You creep. You jerk! You -- I mean, god!
Ned: Hey, what's the matter? You're the one who likes games so much. Now I think we're even. Oh --
Ned: You --
Fancy: Enjoy your swim.
Ned: Poor little rich girl thinks she's pretty funny, huh?
Fancy: Said one drowned rat to another.
Ned: Hey, now there's an idea.
[Mrs. Wallace hums]
Beth: My god, Mother, what have you gone and bought now?
Mrs. Wallace: What I deserve for raising Alistair Crane's child from hell, missy.
Beth: You can't keep spending money like this! My god! Come on, Alistair warned us. We've got to keep a low profile. We should put the money in the bank for emergencies.
Mrs. Wallace: Ah --
Beth: Well, did you think of your grandson?
Mrs. Wallace: Bethie, sweetums, little Marty here is not my grandson.
Mrs. Wallace: But of course I remembered the little tyke! Here we go! Here's your present!
Beth: Oh, my gosh!
Mrs. Wallace: Are you ready for this? Ooh!
[Mrs. Wallace imitates a train]
Beth: Marty, look what your grandma got you! You're such a lucky boy. Oh, our luck is finally changing. And soon, Luis will come and be with us, and we'll be a real family, won't we?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Well, that is as long as Luis doesn't figure out that Sheridan's your half sister.
Beth: Well, he won't.
Mrs. Wallace: And if he does, he's going to see that the D.N.A. cuts both ways, missy, that Sheridan was right and that Marty is her son.
Beth: Shh! Come here. Do you wake up early in the morning just to try to wreck my day, huh? Oh, yeah, we've got nothing to worry about, right? Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. Yeah. Well, Luis and Sheridan have no idea that Alistair is my father -- no idea -- and Sheridan will never know that I'm her half sister.
Luis: What's going on here?
Tabitha: Come on, Sheridan. Hurry down that hill toward my front door. You just need a little extra push from me to finally extinguish your eternal love for Luis. Oh, Endora, aren't mortals amusing? Look at her. She's running towards her own destruction. And the sooner I convince her to call her friend Dottie and recheck those D.N.A. results, the sooner she'll be proven right -- that Marty is her son, and Luis has been wrong all along. And she'll never be able to forgive him for not trusting her, letting her down on this most important issue in her whole life. Whoo! Look at her go! Endora, dear, will you give that voodoo friend of yours a face-lift? We don't want to give the game away here now, you know.
Tabitha: Well, that's awfully good. Hmm. And here she comes! Welcome, Sheridan! Oh, come on. Just a few more steps into my parlor, said the spider to the fly.
Tabitha: Endora? Our guest has arrived. Let the destruction begin.
Tabitha: One, two, three --
Sheridan: Tabitha? Where -- where am -- your house.
Tabitha: Yes, dear. Welcome! How nice of you to visit.
Sheridan: Um -- what am I doing here?
Tabitha: Well, I thought you dropped in to surprise me.
Sheridan: I don't remember how I got here.
Tabitha: Oh, dear, how confusing for you.
Sheridan: Dear god. Luis already thinks I'm crazy because I think that Marty is my child, and now I don't remember how I got here. Maybe he's right. Maybe I really am losing my mind.
Tabitha: Oh, you are overheated and upset, dear. You come and sit down over here, and Tabitha will get you a nice glass of iced tea, huh?
Sheridan: Hi, sweetheart. What a pretty little doll you have.
Tabitha: Oh, yes, that's a brand-new one, hmm. Here you are, dear.
Sheridan: Thank you.
Tabitha: Now, you just relax there and tell Tabby all about it, huh?
Sheridan: I'm really not sure if I can. I -- the next thing I know, I'm up at my cottage outside, and now I'm here, and I really don't know how I got here.
Tabitha: Well, I didn't hear a car. You must have walked.
Sheridan: All the way from Raven's Hill? That's miles from here. My feet are really sore.
Tabitha: Maybe you have something on your mind, dear. I get very forgetful when I'm worried.
Sheridan: You're so kind, Tabitha, but I really should go and let you get back to whatever it is you were doing.
Tabitha: Oh, no, my dear. No, no, you must stay. I mean, you hardly ever visit. We have so much to catch up on.
Sheridan: No, I really don't think --
Tabitha: I insist.
Luis: Well, Beth? What's going on here?
Beth: Well, I can explain.
Luis: Well, I hope so! Where did you get all of this stuff? It must have cost thousands of dollars! And where did you get that?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, do you like it? You know, maybe I can snag me a new gentleman caller.
Luis: Beth, how could you afford all of this stuff?
Beth: I told you, Alistair bribed me to break up you and Sheridan. He gave me a huge check.
Luis: And you cashed it? What, are you insane?
Beth: No, I didn't. Mother did. I had no idea. Look, she's getting worse. She's crazy as a cupcake.
Mrs. Wallace: Crazy? Crazy? Who are you calling crazy, missy fit, huh?
Ned: You had enough, fancy pants?
Fancy: You idiot! What are you trying to do, drown me?
Ned: Ow -- whoa -- hey, you don't look like you're drowning back there.
Fancy: Look at me. I'm a mess!
Ned: I don't know. You -- nah, you're right, you look awful.
Fancy: You did this! Look at me!
Ned: Hey, cool your jets, all right? It's just a little water. You know, an ice cube like you is not going to melt, all right? Once you get out and you dry off, you'll be back to your usual glamorous, plastic self.
Fancy: Oh, my shoes are ruined! And don't judge me, you jerk. You don't know anything about me.
Ned: Well, I know you're used to getting what you want when you want it. You know, you snap your fingers, and the world hops to? And I don't need anyone like you in my life.
Fancy: How dare you assume you know what I'm like.
Ned: I know the type. I went to boarding school with a lot of other "Fancy's." I know how you and all those little clones of you operate. No offense, but I don't need or want to know you any better. You're all alike.
Ned: See what I mean?
Jessica: You're out of your mind! Let me up, Kay!
Kay: Forget it! You just want to go out and do more drugs and find another Randy guy because you know it's going to hurt Dad! There's no way!
Jessica: You're nuts!
Kay: Hey, I'm not the one who has an appointment with the shrink, sweetie. Now, listen, your dad who loves you just went out to get your favorite ice cream to go with the dinner I'm making. Now, when he gets back here, we're going to have a nice family dinner if I have to tie you in a chair.
Jessica: You're not my jailer!
Kay: If I have to hurt you to stop you, I will do it. Got it?
Kay: So help me I will hurt you, Jessica.
Jessica: Hmm. Go ahead. You hit me with that thing and you'll be sorry. I'll get you sent to prison for years.
Kay: God! I mean, what is wrong with you? You're driving me and Dad and everyone around you crazy. Sometimes I think you're in trouble and I worry, and other times I just think you're being a little brat.
Jessica: Oh. Takes one to know one. You haven't given a damn about anyone except yourself for as long as I can remember.
Kay: That's not true, ok, and don't make this about me, all right? I'm not the one who's hurting herself and taking drugs and running around town like a little sex-happy slut.
Jessica: Oh, yeah -- you didn't have to. You tricked Miguel into sleeping with you and then you had his bastard baby.
Kay: Maria's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Jessica: Yeah, but are you the best thing that ever happened to her? Huh, she had a pretty lousy start in life and now she's got a single mom who barely sees her because all you ever do is work at that cannery.
Kay: I have to. That's what pays the bills.
Jessica: Hmm -- doesn't that sound familiar? You sound just like Dad. After all the mistakes you've made, you don't have the right to lecture me.
Kay: The hell I don't. I've learned from my mistakes -- you haven't. And you're too stupid to see that I only want what's best for you. We care about you, Jessica. I care! I mean, damn it, don't you know that I love you?
Fancy: You, sir, are no gentleman.
Ned: And you, miss, are no lady.
Fancy: The hell I'm not!
Ned: Look, you're not the only one who's seen "Gone with the Wind," ok? And besides, I am a gentleman. My family raised me right, ok, to mind my manners, especially my mom, who always taught me to stand when a woman enters the room, use the right silverware, don't forget to write thank-you notes -- the whole bit.
Fancy: Guess you've got a retention problem. You're acting like a blue-collar boor now.
Ned: Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.
Ned: And if you want people to think you're a lady, you shouldn't go around throwing drinks on them.
Fancy: I am and will always be a lady.
Ned: Yeah, keep telling yourself that, kid. Now, if you'll excuse me, a gentleman doesn't want to keep his date waiting.
Mrs. Wallace: Who you calling crazy? Boy, that's the pot calling the kettle --
Beth: You. You're crazy. Now, knock it off.
Mrs. Wallace: The hell I will!
Beth: Mother, anyone who would cash Alistair Crane's check is crazy!
Luis: All right, Beth. Please. Now, you're making me a little uncomfortable when you speak to your mother like that.
Beth: Ok, Luis, you have no idea what goes on in this house.
Mrs. Wallace: Huh. I'll say.
Beth: I mean --
Beth: Ok. You go in there, baby. Mother and I -- we love each other very much, but we fight like cats and dogs. All mothers and daughters do. I'm just under pressure. I'm a single working mother. I'm trying to pay the bills!
Luis: Well, I know you have a lot on your plate right now.
Beth: Yeah, and even though I don't know where my next mortgage payment is coming from, I will make sure that Mother returns all the money to Alistair, every penny of it.
Mrs. Wallace: No, no! That's my money! I earned it!
Beth: Mother -- now.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh.
Beth: I -- I don't mean to yell at her, Luis. She just -- she can't think straight. I mean, she's getting worse.
Luis: And I didn't mean to jump down your throat. It's just when I -- oh. When I saw all this stuff, you know, I just freaked out a little bit.
Beth: I know, I know, and I know you're under a lot of pressure dealing with Sheridan and her being so unstable. Well, here. Come and sit down. Just move that stuff. You know, we're really two of a kind, you know? Mother really does belong in a home.
Luis: Maybe you're right, especially now that Precious isn't here to take care of her.
Beth: Yeah. I can't tell you how tempting those ads for Sweet Serenity are, but I couldn't bear to put her away in a home. I mean, she's already had a heart attack and a stroke. Who knows? She could go at any time now.
Luis: You have such a big heart. You know, I wish that Sheridan could see you now.
Tabitha: Now, you just relax, dear. Now, tell me -- how is your lovely Luis doing, hmm?
Sheridan: Well, Luis -- actually, we're having problems.
Tabitha: Oh. Harmony's perfect couple -- oh, dear. Well, don't tell me -- you have trust issues, hmm?
Sheridan: How did you know?
Tabitha: Oh! Well, it's par for the course, dear. It's normal for the bonfire of passion to burn down to the banked coals of love, but without trust, the fire -- the fire goes out completely. Been going on for thousands of years.
Sheridan: I just don't know what to do anymore.
Tabitha: Well, why don't you tell Tabby all about it, huh? Sometimes it helps to talk things through with someone who's seen it all before. Maybe I can help you make some difficult decision?
Jessica: You love me?
Kay: Well, duh.
Jessica: Liar. You'd say anything to get me to stick around this dump.
Kay: That's not true.
Kay: Can you hear yourself? You sound like you're 5 years old. Why am I surprised? All your life, you've acted like miss little goody-goody in front of Mom and Dad. Oh, but if you didn't get your way, you would scream until you were blue in the face. It was all about you.
Jessica: Yeah, right! And who gave me lessons? Queen Kay was always right and us poor peasants better be careful or we'd get our heads cut off. Huh -- no wonder Reese dumped you for me.
Kay: Hey, don't pull that on me, ok? I'm onto you and I always have been. You've always had a little evil streak in you.
Kay: I'm just the only one who knew about it. Even Noah defended you.
Jessica: Oh, because I'm his baby sister.
Kay: Well, I've learned how to take care of his baby sister.
Ned: Oh. Oh, Sandra. I love it when you rub me down.
Sandra: Your wish is my command, O lord and master.
Ned: Oh, wait -- look. I think you missed a spot right there.
Sandra: That better?
Ned: Thanks for drying me off. Want to help me get dressed?
Sandra: Maybe. At least help you get out of that.
Fancy: You pick that up now! That bag probably costs more than your car!
Sandra: That girl is beyond belief.
Ned: Hey, I thought you didn't care about money.
Fancy: Pick it up!
Ned: Fine, fine.
Sheridan: I -- I really don't want to burden you with my problems.
Tabitha: Oh, don't be embarrassed, Sheridan. I've known you since you were a little girl --
Tabitha's voice: In one lifetime or another.
Sheridan: You have? Actually, you know what? I -- I think I do remember you from one Halloween when Julian took me out trick-or-treating.
Tabitha: Oh, yes. Oh, how could I forget? Oh, good times -- good times.
Young Sheridan: It's so quiet.
Young Julian: Scared?
Young Sheridan: Of course not.
Young Julian: You should be. Don't tell Father I brought you here. He says we should stay away from this house. The old woman who lives here is creepy.
Young Sheridan: Trick or treat.
Tabitha: Ooh. Who do we have here? Ooh, it's little Snow White.
[Young Sheridan screams]
Tabitha: Oh! Don't be frightened, my pretty. It's only old Tabitha dressed up for the holidays.
Young Julian: Don't be scared.
Tabitha: Now, what would little Snow White like, huh? Oh, silly question. I'm sure she'd like a nice, big, juicy apple.
[Young Sheridan screams]
Tabitha: What's the matter, Sheri-- Snow White? Don't you like lovely caramel apples? Huh?
[Young Sheridan screams]
Young Julian: Sheridan, what's wrong?
Tabitha: Mmm. Yum, yum, yum. What's the matter with the little tyke?
Young Julian: Don't mind her. She's sensitive.
Tabitha: Well, if she doesn't want a lovely caramel apple, then you take one for her and one for yourself, young man.
Young Julian: Thank you.
Young Julian: Here, Sheridan. Say thank you.
[Young Sheridan screams]
Young Julian: Sorry about that. Sheridan, wait.
Tabitha: We're going to get to know each other a lot better when you're older, Sheridan Crane! Nighty-night!
Tabitha: Oh. Oh, my stars, girl. You look as if you've seen a ghost.
Sheridan: No -- a witch.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh -- "crazy"? I'll show you who is crazy, missy. Can crazy people do the multiplication tables? Two times two is four, four times four is 16, 16 times 16 is -- heck if I know. But, yeah, I still got it. I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
Beth: Oh, it's so sad. God, I hope it's not genetic.
Luis: Well, maybe she's just under a lot of pressure. You know, we've all been under a lot of pressure lately, which reminds me -- have you seen Sheridan?
Beth: Oh, Luis, she ran away again?
Luis: We had a fight and she took off and I just thought maybe she came here, you know, to see Marty.
Beth: No, I haven't seen her. Poor girl.
Luis: I hate fighting with her. You know, we've got to get through this. I just don't think that I can live without her.
Beth: I don't know about that, but I do hate to see you upset.
Luis: Well, you know, it's just the same old story -- she still thinks that Marty is her son even though the D.N.A. test proved that he is not.
Beth: Oh, it's so sad.
Luis: Well, you know what's worse?
Luis: She feels like I've betrayed her because I don't believe her despite the D.N.A. test.
Beth: Yeah, but how can she ignore the evidence? We have scientific proof Marty is ours.
Luis: I know. Well, talk to Sheridan. She thinks somehow the test was flawed.
Luis: Well, I'll tell you one thing, though -- if I find out that Marty is her son and I find out who took him away from her, I swear that I will kill him.
Beth: Whatever do you mean? Luis, you know that Marty's our son. We have the D.N.A. test to prove it.
Luis: I know, but Sheridan --
Beth: But what?
Luis: Sheridan has been on the computer lately. She's been doing research on D.N.A., and now she's got it in her head that the two of you are sisters or half sisters.
Beth: Sisters? Ok, that is crazy.
Luis: It's crazy, I --
Beth: No, my father would roll over in his grave to hear this conversation.
Luis: I know, ok, and there's no way that Katherine could be your mother. There's no way that she could've hidden a third pregnancy. Ok, now let's say that your mother did have -- did have an affair, ok? Look, no offense, but, you know, Alistair Crane has all the women in the world to pick from, and somehow I just don't think that he would've picked your mother.
Beth: I know, it's absurd. It's nuts.
Beth: I mean, look, this is nonsense. There is no way that Sheridan and I could be sisters.
Tabitha: Oh, you look so worried, dear. Why don't you just sit back and tell Tabby all about it? That's what I'm here for.
Sheridan: I'm sorry, it's -- it's really so private.
Tabitha: I can't imagine that you'd have any real problems with the divine Luis. I mean, if any two people could be described as soul mates, it's you two. In fact, didn't I hear that you believe that you've had past lives together?
Sheridan: Yes. Actually, we do. I mean, we don't talk about it because people would think we're crazy. I mean, don't you think it's a little bizarre?
Tabitha: Certainly not. I'm a firm believer in reincarnation.
Tabitha: Oh, really. Maybe you and I have met before in another life, huh?
Sheridan: Yes, I -- I do feel a connection with you, too.
Tabitha: Well, you just sit back and tell me all about your troubles, then, Sheridan.
Jessica: Kay, put that stupid skillet down now!
Kay: Why? If you're not going to talk to the shrink Dad hired, maybe I can beat the truth out of you.
Jessica: Kay, please!
Kay: Ok. Now level with me, Jess. What's going on with you?
Jessica: Can we at least get up off the floor?
Kay: Nope. Talk. Why are you so hell bent on destroying your life?
Jessica: Why do you care? You never did before.
Kay: Of course I did. I do! I mean, come on, Jess, I love you. I always have. I mean, I know I was only a year old when you were born, but I was thrilled about you. I always tried to take care of you. Gosh, some of my earliest memories are helping Mom give you a bath and change your diapers. I loved you then and I love you now. You were a perfect baby. And then you got older and you turned on me with a vengeance. And I'm tired of it, so just would you quit avoiding the truth and tell me what's going on with you?
Fancy: Give me my bag. My whole life is in there.
Ned: Hey, I'm no thief. Check your wallet. Now, is there anything else I can do for you, Ms. Scarlet.
Fancy: Yeah -- drop dead. I hope I never see you again.
Ned: Nice to see you again, too.
Sandra: She's a piece of work. I hope that's the last we've seen of her.
Ned: Ah, you never know.
Jessica: I am sick and tired of you nagging at me. I don't need anyone's advice -- yours, Dad's, Mom's -- oh, and certainly not that witch Ivy's. I'm fine! I can take care of myself.
Kay: Sure, you're fine. Oh, let's see -- cigarettes, booze, drugs, cutting yourself with razorblades -- oh, and a few little nasty burns thrown in there, sleeping around -- or date rape, depending on how you tell the story -- you threatened Ivy with violence, you stole her money and her jewelry, and you almost got hit by a car because you were so wasted lying in the middle of the street. Have I forgotten anything? Oh, yeah, you got that loser Spike's name tattooed on your hip.
Jessica: I like Spike and he likes me.
Kay: He likes any girl who puts out.
Jessica: It's not like that! He treats me like an adult.
Kay: He got you so stoned, you didn't even know he was having sex with you. That's treating you like an adult? Come on, Jess. You are well on your way to the grave or rehab.
Jessica: Shut up! You know, I can't take any more of your crap!
Kay: Well, tough! You have to!
Sandra: Oh, too bad. This area's closed.
Ned: Want to bet? We're invited guests.
Sandra: Where did you get that invitation?
Ned: Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
Sandra: Feeling lucky?
Ned: With you on my arm? Always.
Croupier: Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.
Woman: Hey, Danny. It's Mary. I'm down at a party at the Capistrano. That kid you were watching the other night is here. Fine, I'll give him a friendly little warning.
Mary: Ooh, roulette. How exciting. You going to bet?
Ned: Trying to.
Mary: Mind if I watch?
Sandra: Be our guest.
Mary: I just love roulette. It's a real gambler's game, you know -- all chance, no skill required, unlike cards. With cards, you never know who's a pro or even who might be cheating.
Ned: I take it you work for a casino.
Mary: Got it in one, sport.
Ned: I'm Ned. This is Sandra. You are?
Mary: Mary Connell. I work at the Montecito.
Ned: Nice place. Good to meet you, Mary. Is there a problem?
Mary: Not exactly. But all of us in the casino trade kind of look out for one another, especially if we start to see familiar faces. You never know who's in town just to play the game.
Ned: Yes, I gamble, but, no, I don't cheat -- ever. That would kind of take all the fun out of it, don't you think? And if I did, don't you think I'd have something in here besides moths?
Mary: All right. I'll believe you. You two enjoy yourselves. But here's a tip -- the house is always watching.
Mary: Hey, Danny? Yeah, it's me again. I think your young gambler is ok.
Croupier: Care to make a wager, sir?
Luis: Can you imagine? You and Sheridan -- sisters?
[Beth and Luis laugh]
Beth: It's like apples and oranges.
Luis: I mean, she's totally hung up on it, though, you know, and she wants me to ignore all my police training, all the evidence, the D.N.A., everything, and to get Marty back for her.
Beth: Hmm. So I'm still the bad guy. Well, you have to tell her that can't happen because Marty is mine.
Luis: I know. I know, and if she ever did try and take Marty away, you could go to the police -- i.e.., me -- and have Sheridan sent away to prison.
Beth: True. True, for a very, very long time -- not that we would ever want that to happen.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, liar, liar, pants on fire.
Luis: Ugh. Yeah, it is -- it's just a horrible situation.
Beth: Well, maybe you could forget about Sheridan tonight. You're already here. You know, you could spend some time with your son. He hardly ever sees you.
Luis: That is a good idea.
Luis: Come here, big guy. Guess who's coming for you! Come here!
Beth: Come see your daddy!
Luis: Ah! Hey, buddy.
Beth: Aw. It's so good to see you two together.
Beth: He really needs his father.
Luis: I know, and trust me, I do want to be a bigger part of his life. It's just hard right now, you know, with Sheridan. She gets upset and she's irrational.
Beth: Yeah. Who knows what she might try to do to herself. Well, let's just pray that her problems are solved soon. But in the meantime, your daddy can come here! Marty loves you so much.
Luis: Well, I love him, too. You are such a good boy, yeah.
Mrs. Wallace: He's good-natured, sweet. Takes after his mommy.
Luis: Yeah. You can see why Sheridan's obsessed with him.
Beth: Um, Luis, can we just not talk about Sheridan? Her obsession with Marty -- it frightens me.
Luis: All right, I'm sorry. I hate to bring it up, but honestly, when you look at him --
Luis: He does look like her.
Beth: Well, I think he looks hungry. Don't you? Let's get him a snack. You want some cereal? Come on, let's get some cereal! Ok. Here we go. Yeah. There you go. Here you go, there's your cereal. All right?
Beth: Well, Luis, since you're already here, why don't you just stay for the evening? I could fix you a drink.
Luis: Yeah, I can't. I've got to go look for Sheridan.
Beth: Oh, right. I -- I forgot. Silly me.
Sheridan: So you see, if Beth is the one who kidnapped me and held me in her basement, then that means that Marty is my son. He's my son with Luis.
Tabitha: I should cover Endora's ears. She shouldn't hear such dreadful things at her tender age.
Sheridan: Luis really thinks that I'm crazy.
Tabitha: Well, you seem perfectly lucid to me, dear. It's a real pity he doesn't trust you. Now, trust is crucial to any relationship.
Sheridan: See, that is what I said. I know that Marty is my child. I feel a bond with him. I am connected to him heart and soul, but Luis just doesn't believe me.
Tabitha: But how is that possible? If you two are soul mates, how can he not believe you? I hate to say this, dear, but if he doesn't stand by you in a crisis, I mean, maybe he doesn't really love you.
Jessica: Kay, put that down!
Kay: No! Not until we're done. Jess, you can't go on like this. Wake up! Don't you ever watch the news? If you keep sneaking out to get high and sleep around with loser guys like Spike, then you're going to die! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one of these days it's going to be payback time. You're gambling with your life, and you're going to end up dead.
Sandra: Your luck will turn, I know it.
Ned: Thanks, Sandra. I feel lucky tonight.
Doorman: Miss, I need to see your invitation.
Fancy: Get real. You know me. Let me in.
Doorman: Got to do it by the book.
Fancy: Fine. I know it's in here somewhere. Where is my invitation?
Sheridan: So you understand, then.
Tabitha: Oh, of course I do, dear. Really, I didn't know what love meant until I had little Endora. Oh, I can't imagine how I'd feel if someone stole her away from me. I -- it'd break my heart. And Luis won't believe you?
Sheridan: No. It's caused such a huge rift between us. And I know Marty is my child, and I will do anything to get him back.
Tabitha: The idea of losing Endora -- I -- yes, I'll wager you will do anything to get little Marty back in your arms again, right?
On the Next Passions:
Mrs. Wallace: Merciful angels!
Luis: What is it, Mrs. Wallace?
Tabitha: The truth lies in the D.N.A. If there was an error, Dottie could do the test again.
Beth: I have the D.N.A. test to prove that I'm his mother.
Jessica: I said yes!
Kay: Ugh! No!
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