Tuesday 4/26/05--Canada; Wednesday 4/27/05--USA
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Ivy: Oh, I hope Sam doesn't find Jessica at Spike's new dive. Not only would it kill him to find out that his baby girl is involved with that lowlife, but he'll be furious with me when he finds out I knew and didn't tell him. Oh, damn Jessica for threatening to bring her mother back if I ratted her out to Sam. Oh. But hopefully I'm worried about nothing. I'm sure Jessica was able to hide herself when Sam raided the club. I mean, she wouldn't want her father to know that she's into sex, drugs, and self-mutilation any more than I would. Oh, Sam. Oh, my god, what happened?
Sam: I found Jessica naked in the backroom of Spike's new club.
Ivy: Oh, no.
Sam: Sleazeball got her high, then he had his way with her.
Ivy: Oh, god, that's awful.
Sam: It kills me to think that she slipped out of here after you checked on her and neither one of us knew about it.
Luis: Well, next time you can't sleep and you decide to take a walk, can you just let me know so I don't go nuts worrying about you?
Sheridan: I will.
Luis: Good. Now get back in bed. Let me tuck you in.
Sheridan: I'm still not sleepy.
Luis: Oh. Because of what Gwen said about Theresa and the baby?
Sheridan: Yeah. I'm afraid that Beth will refuse to let us ever see Marty again because I insisted on having that D.N.A. test done.
Luis: Well, I'm sure that Beth's going to be a little touchy at first, but hey, she knows that Marty is my son, too, and I'm going to be spending time with him and that you're going to be spending time with me.
Sheridan: I hope you're right. I don't know what I would do if I can never see Marty again. Please, Luis, don't let her keep him from me.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, where did Beth and Alistair disappear to? The thought of those two liquored up and on the prowl just gives me the willies! Oh, god, even the hair on my chin is standing up straight. Oh, boy, I have got to track down Beth. It is time. It is time that she knew she was hanging out with dear old dad.
Beth: Alistair, that tickles.
Alistair: And just where else are you ticklish?
Beth: I really shouldn't tell you.
Waiter: Your champagne, Mr. Crane.
Alistair: Oh, thank you, Reuben. Very nice. Yes, perfect. So -- uh -- oh. Thank you, Reuben. Oh, very good, very good, very good. And I'll pour. And have another bottle ready because we're both craving it. Mmm, good. Yes, here you go, this is just for you. Perfect pour.
Alistair: Oh, this is it. That's better, right?
Beth: Thank you.
Alistair: And one more for me, and now we're even. A toast to you, Beth, my partner in crime, and to the long-awaited merger tonight.
Beth: Oh, I'll drink to that.
Eve: Oh, Chad, you didn't. You couldn't!
Liz: Mr. Newton, this is outrageous!
Fox: Look, there's no way in hell you're adopting my son.
Whitney: Absolutely not.
George: I'm afraid your protests are futile. The adoption was finalized earlier. Mr. Harris is legally the child's father.
Chad: That's right. And like I said before, I'm not giving my son to you or to anybody. No one's ever taking my son away from me.
T.C.: You're not taking my grandson.
Ivy: Sam, do you want me to call the E.M.S.?
Sam: No. E.M.S. will come here, they'll do a drug test, and they'll discover that she's been using. Ok, by law they have to report it to the state. Now, I don't want my daughter being listed as a user.
Ivy: No, no, of course not, no.
Sam: I even called off the raid because I didn't want her to get a record. Damn Spike for using her like this.
Ivy: Sam, you have no idea. Is there anything at all I can do?
Sam: Yeah. Put on some coffee, bring Jessica something sweet to eat. Hopefully, the caffeine and sugar will help neutralize the drugs that are in her system.
Ivy: Ok, I -- I baked some cookies. I'll bring them in with the coffee.
Sam: Jessica, honey, why did you go back to that club? And why did you let him give you those stickers, knowing what they would do to you? My god, Jess. What's happened to you? Why did you deliberately put yourself in that situation again? Honey? Honey, wake up so I can help you.
Kay: Dad, what happened? I was upstairs at Tabitha's putting Maria to sleep, I look out the window, and you're carrying Jessica in.
Sam: Your sister snuck out to that new underground club.
Simone: Where Paloma was attacked and Jessica was violated?
Tabitha: Oh, my.
Sam: Unbelievable, isn't it? I found Jess in a backroom with that club owner Spike. He got her high and he had sex with her.
Kay: Oh, my god, that's awful.
Simone: I'll say.
Kay: Why would she go back to a place like that? I mean, didn't she learn her lesson last time?
Sam: Look, we knew your sister was having problems, but I didn't know she was so self-destructive.
Tabitha: Oh, Sam didn't know, but Ivy did.
Ivy: Sam, here's Jessica's coffee and cookies.
Simone: Chief Bennett told us what happened.
Tabitha: Oh, Ivy. You must feel really awful knowing that Jessica slipped out while you thought she was fast asleep upstairs.
Liz: T.C., calm down.
T.C.: This is my grandson and you can't have him.
Fox: He's my son.
Chad: Hey, hey, you're scaring the baby.
George: Mr. Harris is right. Now, if you people can't control yourselves, I'll have no choice but to call the police.
T.C.: I don't give a damn about you calling the police. The chief of police is my best friend, and there's no way in hell that he'll let him walk out of here with my flesh and blood.
Fox: Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Call the police. My son was taken from me under false pretenses. I want him back. Call him.
Chad: And you say I don't listen. What about you, Fox, huh, all of you. I adopted this baby by the book. Everything was aboveboard and legal.
Fox: Aboveboard and legal? Really? Whitney duped me into giving her my power of attorney and she used it to give my son away. I want him back.
Chad: He's not your son anymore. He's mine for keeps.
Fox: Not if you're dead.
Luis: Sheridan, don't worry, ok? I'm sure that Beth will let us spend time with little Marty. Maybe with some conditions now, but listen, my son will always be a part of our lives, ok?
Sheridan: You know, I know that it's late, but I really want to go to Beth's. I want to tell her again that I'm sorry for doubting that she's Marty's mother.
Luis: Ok, well, can't that wait till morning?
Sheridan: Luis, I won't be able to sleep until I know that she doesn't feel threatened by me. We can spend time with Marty again -- I mean, maybe not right away, but soon.
Luis: Ok, well, I'll just call Beth first thing in the morning.
Sheridan: Please can we go tonight?
Luis: Ugh. Ok, on one condition. Give me a little kiss for the road. All right, now put some clothes on, will you?
Luis: Next stop, Beth's.
Mrs. Wallace: Better I reach out and touch Bethie before Alistair does. Beth has got to know that Alistair is her father before Chad and Whitney have company on the incest list.
Alistair: Beth, you have to tell me where you're most ticklish. The waiter interrupted us. Now, please, tell me.
Beth: Uh -- well --
Beth: It might sound a little kinky, but --
Alistair: Oh, god. Whoever it is, it can wait.
Beth: No, I have to answer it. Something could be wrong with Marty. Hello?
Mrs. Wallace: What took you so long to answer the phone? You're not naked, are you?
Beth: Not that it's any of your business, but, no. At least not yet.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Thank goodness.
Beth: What do you want, Mother?
Mrs. Wallace: Brace yourself, Bethie. There's something important you need to know.
Beth: Is it Marty? Is he sick?
Mrs. Wallace: No, no, no, he's not sick. He's sleeping like an angel.
Beth: Then what is it?
Alistair: Tell Edna you will talk to her in the morning.
Mrs. Wallace: Well, Bethie, I know I should've told you this before, you know, when I suspected it, but I wanted to be sure. Now I am.
Beth: Mother, get to the point. I don't have time for one of your long, drawn-out speeches.
Mrs. Wallace: Ok, ok, ok. Don't say I didn't warn you, though.
Alistair: I mean, it, Beth. Just hang up. Hang up.
Mrs. Wallace: Alistair Crane is your father!
Jessica: Daddy, no more.
Sam: No, come on, Jess, the caffeine and sugar will help lessen the effects of the drugs in your system. Spike plied Jessica with one of those happy-face stickers to lick to get high.
Simone: That's awful.
Kay: Yeah, Jess, Mom is the one with amnesia, not you. You know how sick those stickers made you last time. How could you let Spike give you more? And what were you doing back at the same kind of place where you were violated before? Talk about asking for trouble. I mean, how could you be so stupid?
Jessica: Leave me alone, Kay. It's not like you haven't done anything stupid before. Maria's proof of that.
Kay: I admit that getting pregnant without being married was a huge mistake, but I was in love with Miguel, ok, and I love having Maria. What you did tonight was just dumb and dangerous.
Simone: Ease up, Kay. I mean, I'm sure Jessica did not go out tonight looking for trouble. It was just a coincidence that she ended up at Spike's new club.
Ivy: Oh, my god, Jessica. "Spike"? Jessica, please, tell me you are not involved with that man. Please tell me you didn't let him brand you as his.
Jessica: He didn't brand me, Ivy. Spike wants us to be a couple. The tattoo is a symbol of our relationship.
Tabitha: You're right, Endora. Jessica knew exactly where she was going tonight, as did Ivy, who covered for the troubled teen. Yeah, I'll tell you, if Sam finds out that Ivy's been keeping secrets from him, she'll be out on the street and out of his life once and for all.
Julian: All right, Fox, stop this.
Eve: Please, Chad's your brother.
Fox: Don't remind me.
Chad: Yeah, what is wrong with you, man? Can't you see I'm holding a little baby? And you, too, Coach Russell.
T.C.: You are not adopting my grandson.
George: Could we all calm down?
Liz: T.C., please.
Eve: Chad, you had to have known how shocked we were all going to be to find out that you'd adopted Whitney's baby.
Chad: I don't know why. I said from the start I wanted to be part of this baby's life, help raise him. And after Whitney gave him up for adoption, the only way I could keep my word was to adopt the baby myself.
Eve: No, there are things that you don't know that make adopting this baby very unwise.
Chad: Yeah? What things?
George: Yeah, I'd like to know, too. Why is it unwise for Chad to have adopted Whitney's baby?
Mrs. Wallace: She's not screaming. Well, that is funny. I thought she'd be ranting and raving to beat the band. Maybe she passed out. Hey, Bethie! Can you hear me? Alistair's your daddy!
Beth: You know, maybe I should call my mother back. It sounded important.
Alistair: Is Marty all right?
Alistair: Was the house on fire?
Alistair: Then whatever it is, it can always wait.
Beth: I know, but there was just something in her voice that sounded urgent, like when she has to go and she doesn't have a diaper.
Alistair: Mm-hmm. Well, Edna is a drama queen and everything is a crisis with her. Let's forget about Edna and just get back to us, hmm?
Beth: You're right. You're right. What could possibly be wrong?
Mrs. Wallace: Beth hung up on me! Ooh, that's the devil's doing!
Alistair: So, why don't we pick up where you and Charlie left off.
Beth: Oh, the look -- the look on mother's face when she saw me kissing another woman --
Beth: Oh -- except Charlie turned out to be you.
Beth: Oh. Ahem. I'm sorry, I got to answer it.
Alistair: Yeah, all right, all right. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
Beth: It might be an emergency.
Alistair: Yes, of course.
Mrs. Wallace: Beth, I have to tell you something!
Beth: Is the house burning down?
Mrs. Wallace: No.
Beth: Is there a gas leak?
Mrs. Wallace: Well, not since the last time you tried to kill Sheridan.
Beth: Then leave me alone.
Mrs. Wallace: No, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. What is all that noise I hear behind you? Where are you?
Beth: It's none of your business.
Mrs. Wallace: But Alistair is with you, right?
Beth: Yes. Why?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, tell him you're sick. Tell him I'm sick. Tell him anything. Just get the heck out of there before it's too late, please.
Beth: Look, I am not leaving. Alistair is treating me to some very expensive champagne.
Mrs. Wallace: On top of the liquor you already had here?
Beth: Yes. I am trying to unwind from the stress that those D.N.A. tests on Marty have caused me, and also celebrate the results that I am Marty's mother.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, you have your father to thank for that.
Beth: What? How much have you had to drink, huh? Marty's paternity was not in question, only his maternity. So leave me alone.
Mrs. Wallace: You -- I am not talking about Marty's paternity. I'm talking about yours! Alistair is your daddy! Beth?
Alistair: Good girl. Now turn it off so we're not interrupted again.
Beth: Oh. Gladly.
Mrs. Wallace: This time when Beth answers, I'm just going to tell her flat-out.
Beth's voice: Hi, this is Beth.
Mrs. Wallace: Alistair's your father!
Beth's voice: Please leave a message.
Mrs. Wallace: Ugh! No! She hung up the phone! Oh, god, god, god! Ok, ok, ok. All right, she just wants to guzzle champagne with Alistair. That's ok, that's ok. She's just going to get bubbles in her head, wind up buck-naked and in bed. Oh, and if the room is dark enough and Alistair is drunk enough, they're going to wind up doing the big deed. Oh, boy, I have got to find Beth and I have got to stop her before she and Alistair end up with a two-headed baby on their hands. Oh, my --
[Knock on door]
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, boy. Ok, now, I wonder who that could be at this hour. I'm coming!
Luis: Oh. Hi, Mrs.. Wallace.
Sheridan: We're sorry to stop by so late, but I really need to speak to Beth.
Mrs. Wallace's voice: Don't we all.
Luis: She -- she here?
Mrs. Wallace: Uh -- no. No, she -- she couldn't sleep, so she went out.
Luis: Out where?
Mrs. Wallace: Gee, I couldn't say.
Alistair: Thank you, Reuben. We're ready for more champagne.
Reuben: Right away, Mr. Crane.
Alistair: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. I remember.
Tabitha: Oh, Sam, you poor man. Having to face the cold, hard truth that your once-innocent daughter is a serial slut, doing drugs and men in the backroom of some sleazy nightclub. Oh, no doubt you're worrying that you weren't a very good parent. And you, the chief of police. I can only imagine that you must be worried your granddaughter, Maria, will turn out the same way.
Kay: I heard that, and it won't happen, ok, because I am a much better mother than my mom was. I'll know what my daughter's doing.
Sam: Kay, you can't blame Grace for what's happening to Jessica. Ok, she never snuck out when your mother lived here.
Kay: We don't know that. Mom was too busy choosing between you and David to notice what anybody else was doing.
Ivy: Including you, Kay.
Kay: A mother should know what her children are up to, and so should a stepmother -- or whatever you call yourself these days.
Ivy: If I'd known what Jessica was up to, don't you think I would've said something?
Tabitha: Of course, Kay. How could Ivy, who loves your father beyond all reason, deliberately leave him in the dark about Jessica's bad-girl behavior? I mean, Ivy knew that Jessica had been violated before. To knowingly let her go out again was really risking tragedy. Poor Jessica could have overdosed on drugs or died. And then whose fault would it have been? It would have been Ivy's fault. Isn't that right, dear?
Chad: Mother, I'm waiting for an answer. Why is it unwise that I adopt Whitney's baby?
Eve: Look, Chad, you have made no secret of the fact that you love Whitney and that you want to stay in her life.
Chad: That's right.
Eve: And I think that you just adopted this baby so that you could stay close to Whitney, because as long as you have the baby, then you have a connection to her.
Fox: That's very romantic, but your connection is that she's your sister. You two can't raise my son together.
Chad: Why not?
Fox: Well, because it's sick, Chad, and it's perverse, kind of like you. So give on the fact of using my baby to get your sister back and give me my son.
Beth: Um -- could I have some more champagne?
Alistair: Why, of course. Yes.
Beth: You know, I am just in the mood to celebrate. Somehow, some way, those D.N.A. tests came back proving that I'm Marty's mother. Now I just have to get Luis away from Sheridan and I'm going to live happily ever after.
Alistair: I don't think getting Luis away from Sheridan is going to be so easy. I've tried everything from bribery to bombs. Nothing's ever worked.
Beth: I know. But I think I have the magic lure.
Alistair: Well, that's because you are very alluring.
Beth: No, I mean Marty. I mean, Luis can't stay away from his son forever, so I just have to convince him to marry me for Marty's sake.
Alistair: Yes, well, I'll do everything I can to help you. I've always been against Luis marrying Sheridan because it would give Luis access to all of the Crane secrets, and that will not do.
Beth: I know. Oh, gosh, Luis would kill me if he found out that I kidnapped Sheridan and took her baby.
Alistair: Well, we'll keep Luis in the dark about that -- and other things.
Beth: What other things?
Alistair: Hmm? About us.
Beth: I don't understand.
Alistair: Well, once you marry Luis and he goes to work, then I'll come over and we'll play. And we'll play hard all day.
Luis: So Beth didn't tell you where she was going?
Mrs. Wallace: Well, honey, she may have, you know, but with this old brain and this old hearing aid here, I might have missed it, you know? Can I help you?
Luis: Uh -- thanks. I don't think so.
Sheridan: We came to ask Beth if we could still spend time with Marty, even though I insisted on having that D.N.A. test done.
Luis: Sheridan's afraid that Beth is going to punish her by restricting Marty's visits.
Mrs. Wallace: Ah, well, you know, of course you're going to have to talk to Beth about that, but, boy, wouldn't she look mean and hateful if she didn't let you two lovebirds spend time with Marty, huh?
Sheridan: Well, that's good to hear.
Luis: All right. So we'll call Beth tomorrow, then, ok?
Sheridan: Well, since we're here, do you think that we could see Marty just for a few minutes?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, well, he's asleep.
Sheridan: We won't wake him up, just look in on him, and then we'll leave.
Mrs. Wallace: Ok. "No harm in looking" is what I used to say to the boys in the locker room.
Luis: You know, a woman actually once walked into the locker room at Harmony field when the policemen were playing the firemen. Wasn't you, now, was it?
Mrs. Wallace: Me? Oh, no. Heavens no.
Luis: Excuse me. Lopez-Fitzgerald. Yeah, hold on one sec. It's headquarters. Why don't you just go up and see Marty. I'll see you in a sec.
Sheridan: Great, ok.
Mrs. Wallace: Ooh, you bet your bippy I was there, Luis. And you made an impression on me -- a very big impression. Whoo!
Sheridan: Oh, Marty. Your sweet scent, soft skin. You are my son. I know you are.
Chad: Give it a rest, bro. He's mine now. I'm not giving him back to you.
Fox: Chad, it is twisted enough that you want to play house with your sister, but to use my son as a lure? It's beyond sick.
Chad: You know, I'm not going to sit here and be dissed for what I've done. He's my baby now and I'm keeping him.
Fox: I'm not going to let that happen, Chad. I'll call in Crane legal and have them undo whatever the hell it is you think you've done here.
Chad: You can call all the suits you want. It's not going to make a difference. I've already checked in with legal. Everything I've done has been aboveboard and by the book.
Fox: Oh, I'll find something wrong, Chad. And when I do, I'm going to get my son back.
Eve: I think that we have to stop Fox. It's better that Chad should have his son than to risk Fox finding out that the child isn't his at all.
Julian: You're right. Son, I know you're upset, but you really must stop this.
Fox: He's kidnapped my son.
Julian: But, Fox, it's --
Fox: No, "but" nothing! Look, you and Eve spent years trying to get your long-lost son back, Chad, and I'm standing here right now and I'm not supposed to do everything in my power to keep my son from being stolen in the first place? Forget it.
T.C.: No Crane deserves to raise this baby. Liz and I, we should have him. We'll raise him.
Fox: He's my son, I'm his father, and I'm going to raise him. I'm not going to stop till I get him back.
Chad: Yeah, well, you'll be wasting your time, Fox. My son's never leaving my side. See, I love this baby from head to toe, and I can't wait to give him a wonderful life, raise him the way I always dreamed about being raised -- safe, secure, and surrounded by people who love him more than anything else. You know, Whitney, I still can't get over the truth that this amazing baby is really my son.
Whitney: Our son together.
Chad: Yeah. You know, I don't care what the rest of the world says. The three of us, we are a family -- you, me, our baby. No one's ever going to come between us again. Hey. Say hello to Mama.
Tabitha: Ivy, dear, are you all right? You look positively ill.
Ivy: Just I'm worried about Jessica.
Tabitha: Oh, of course you are. If I were in your position, I'd be feeling absolutely sick.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Tabitha: Watching you fret over Jessica makes me wonder how I'll manage when I have a teenager in my own happy home -- maybe two if Kay and Maria are still living with us then. Obviously, Jessica managed to sneak in and out without you hearing her. Because knowing the perilous path she was on, of course you would have told Sam so he could nip her nocturnal naughtiness in the bud posthaste, right?
Ivy: Well, that goes without saying.
Tabitha: Well, maybe you dozed off after one too many, dear.
Ivy: No, I did not.
Tabitha: But you didn't hear Jessica creaking down the stairs, clunking down the trellis?
Ivy: No, I didn't! I --
Tabitha: Well, fancy that.
Jessica: I'm going to bed, sleep off the rest of the drugs in my system.
Sam: No, you're not. Not until we've talked about what happened tonight.
Jessica: No, Dad, we can talk in the morning.
Sam: Jessica -- oh, my god. What is that on your hip?
Beth: Whoa, you don't waste any time, do you?
Alistair: Why should I beat around the bush? I know what I like and I tell you what I want. You're pretty much like that, too, Beth. You like something, you go for it.
Beth: Yeah, Mother always accused me of being pushy.
Alistair: Well, Edna's an idiot.
Alistair: I'll tell you something, when I look into your eyes, I see something very familiar. I feel closer to you than almost anyone else.
Beth: Well, I'm really fond of you, too, Alistair. It's just that you know how much I love Luis, and I want to marry him.
Alistair: Oh, marry Luis. Be a good wife to him, a good mother to Marty. As long as you're a good bad girl to me on the side, hmm?
Sheridan: Oh, Luis. I didn't hear you come in.
Luis: I heard you.
Luis: This has to stop, Sheridan. You cannot go on thinking that Marty is your son. The D.N.A. test proved that Beth is Marty's mother.
Sheridan: No, it's not true. It just can't be true.
Luis: Sheridan, if you keep going on like this --
Sheridan: Luis, look at him. Would you please just look at him and tell me that he doesn't look like me?
Luis: I can't. I can't do this anymore, ok? You know, if Beth were to walk in here right now and see you like this, she wouldn't let us take Marty. And can you blame her? You insisted on having this D.N.A. test -- by your friend, no less -- and the results proved that Beth is Marty's mother, and now you refuse to accept it.
Sheridan: I know that it sounds far-fetched, but somehow, some way, Marty is my son. I know it.
Luis: Sheridan, it has to stop. Now, please, can you go before Beth comes home and sees you like this?
Luis: Lopez-Fitzgerald. It's headquarters. I'll meet you downstairs in a sec, ok?
Luis: Sorry about that. Uh-huh. Yeah. And what did forensics say about the test results? Is it a match? Well, test results don't lie, now, do they? Ok.
Sheridan: Mrs. Wallace? Mrs. Wallace? She must be in the kitchen.
Sheridan: Beth's basement. Dear god, I can see outside! No!
Beth: [Disguised voice] You and your baby are both going to die.
Sheridan: Oh, god, no!
Sheridan: No! My baby. My baby's coming! Somebody help me!
Sheridan: Oh, my god. Beth's basement. That's where I was held. That's where the clowns were.
T.C.: Chad adopted my grandson? I still can't believe this.
Liz: T.C., it is not over yet. We'll get a lawyer. We'll fight Chad for this baby.
T.C.: But, Liz, I hope that we can win with Fox fighting for the baby, too.
Liz: Have faith, and know you'll always have me.
T.C.: Oh, baby, thanks for sticking by me, ok?
Whitney: Could Chad and I really raise our baby together?
Eve: Whitney, Chad knows.
Eve: Deep down inside, he knows that that is his baby. He has felt a connection to it ever since the moment he saw him in the hospital.
Whitney: No, no, you're wrong. He doesn't know that he's just adopted his own baby, and he never will.
Eve: Honey, don't kid yourself. He's trying to take that baby home so he can parent it and bond with it and love it. And sooner or later he is going to realize that your baby is his baby, as well.
Fox: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going?
Chad: I'm taking my baby home is where I'm going. I'm sick of you people making threats and yelling.
Fox: You're not going anywhere, not with my son.
Sam: How did this happen? Did Spike drug you and brand you with his name like you're his damn property?
Jessica: Spike didn't drug me. I knew what I was doing.
Tabitha: Oh, dear.
Jessica: Can I go to bed now?
Sam: Hey, how many times have you snuck out of here without Ivy and me knowing it?
Jessica: What difference does it make?
Sam: Well, for one, the tattoo is infected.
Jessica: It is not.
Simone: Ooh, yes, it is, Jess.
Jessica: Your mom's the doctor in the family, Simone, not you.
Sam: Look, I'm taking you to the hospital. We're having that looked at.
Jessica: I told you there's nothing wrong with me. Ivy put antibiotic cream on it earlier.
Sam: Ivy knew that you had a tattoo?
Jessica: Ivy was in on everything I was doing.
Sam: Ivy, is that true? Did you know that Jessica was leaving this house to be with Spike?
Tabitha: Oh, that's it, Endora. Ivy's little house of cards just came crashing down around her.
Sheridan: No! Please let me have my baby!
Sheridan: Your sweet baby smell. What's going on?
Beth: [Disguised voice] It's Showtime. Smile.
Sheridan: No! I'm sure it was Beth's basement where I was held prisoner. No wonder I felt so strange when I went down to go get Marty's books. She obviously covered her tracks. But there has to be something that she overlooked that will prove that she kidnapped me and stole my baby. I just have to find it.
Luis: Yeah. Let me know first thing. No.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, Beth still has her phone turned off. How am I supposed to warn her not to do the hokey-pokey with Alistair? He's not just a dirty old man, he's her dirty old daddy.
Beth: Oh, Alistair. Um -- listen, it's not that I don't find you attractive. It's just that my heart belongs to Luis.
Alistair: Oh, give Luis your heart. I just want the rest of you. And I will have you tonight, or I will tell Luis all your dirty little secrets. Then he'll hate you or kill you.
Beth: That's blackmail.
Alistair: Smart and sexy. I like that in my women.
On The Next Passions:
Rebecca: Whose side are you on, Theresa's or your wife's?
Sam: You knew my daughter was hurting herself and you didn't tell me?
Sheridan: This is the house where I was held captive, and I'll prove it to you!
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