Tuesday 4/12/05--Canada; Wednesday 4/13/05--USA
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Sam: Ivy, I want to thank you. I mean, this is exactly what I needed.
Ivy: Well, I know you've had a lot on your mind, what, with work and Jessica.
Sam: Well, at least Jessica seems to be acting out less since I decided not to call Grace about coming home, like going out to the movie tonight with Kay.
Ivy: You want to open up that champagne?
Sam: No, no. In a little while.
Sam: You know, I hate having to worry about Jessica every time she leaves the house, but at least she didn't try to sneak out to party like last time. You know, it kills me that I wasn't able to pin anything on Spike. I mean, no matter how many times we shut him down, he always manages to open up his club someplace else. I've got to find a way to nail him before other girls are violated like Jessica was.
Spike: Jessica Bennett, the police chief's little girl at my new club and flying high. Man, would it stick in cop daddy's craw to know that his little baby and big bad me are close to hooking up. Hey, babe. You down for some one-on-one time?
Jessica: Yeah, maybe tomorrow night. I was about to head home.
Spike: Oh, already? I was hoping we'd get to know each other better now that you're officially one of my girls.
Jessica: Oh, yeah, Spike, about my tattoo --
Spike: Oh, it's nice, huh?
Spike: Let me see it. Let me see. Oh, excellent. Excellent. You see, I wanted to be on you, Jessica, and I just don't mean the tattoo.
Beth: I mean, I can only imagine how painful it would be losing a child, but it's also really painful having somebody try to take your child. I just can't take it any longer!
Luis: Ok, ok, Beth, I'm sorry, all right? Listen, I understand. Now, look, I know that this hasn't been easy for you, but I'm telling you doing this D.N.A. test is going to nip the whole thing in the bud. Now, look, I know I've asked a lot of you lately, but I'm telling you it all ends here, ok?
Mrs. Wallace: You could say that again.
Luis: Look, we'll do this D.N.A. test and we'll find out who Marty's mother is once and for all, ok?
Fox: Hey. Listen, you know things can't go on the way they have been, right? You know you're going to have to make a choice between two very special women -- your wife and the mother of your daughter.
Ethan: Fox, I know, and the more I think about it, the harder it gets.
Fox: Well, that's interesting enough, but you must be leaning towards one of them, right, so who's it going to be, Gwen or Theresa?
Gwen: You are going to pay for the hell you have put me through!
Katherine: No! Gwen!
Gwen: I'm going to kill you!
Luis: I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Bateman, but I believe we are ready to finally do the D.N.A. test. Right, Beth?
Sheridan: Uh -- Beth? Luis asked you a question.
Mrs. Wallace: Yeah, Bethie. Don't keep Marty's father waiting, you know, the police detective. I mean, remember what Luis said about you looking more suspicious, you know, by making a big stink over a little D.N.A. test.
Beth: Ok. Yeah, do -- do the test.
Luis: Thanks, Beth.
Sheridan: All right, look, I'll show you to Marty's room, but we have to be quiet so we don't wake him up.
Mr. Bateman: Yes, ma'am. Is it just me or does this house smell like bananas and gin?
Sheridan: No, it's not just you.
Luis: We'll explain on the way. Beth, you're not going to regret this.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, do I know that look. Too bad you're not wearing a diaper like me, because I think you could use one right about now.
Beth: Shut up, mother.
Mrs. Wallace: What was it that Luis just said? "You won't regret this, Bethie." You know, I think I'm going to needlepoint that on a pillow for your prison cell. Well, if nothing else, at least it'll muffle your screams when Mandy gets randy after "lights out!"
Beth: What about you, Mother?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, no. See, I never was a switch hitter, and I'm certainly not going to start now.
Beth: I mean, if the truth comes out that Sheridan's really Marty's mother, I'm not the only one going to prison. You're going to do time for being an accessory.
Mrs. Wallace: Nah. See, I've been working on my dotty old-lady routine, Bethie. "A pit in the basement? We -- we have a basement? Screams? Oh, lordy, no, no! I thought that was the garbage men when I had my last intestinal problem. Oh."
Beth: You say I'm evil?
Mrs. Wallace: You are. And angels be praised, the day of reckoning is finally here! You are done for, Bethie. Done for.
Ethan: Thought I heard something. False alarm. All right, let's just stick here for a minute just to make sure.
Fox: So, Ethan, you still haven't told me who you're leaning towards, Gwen or Theresa.
Ethan: The truth, Fox, is I -- I love them both, which makes it even harder for me to make a decision.
Fox: But you love them both in different ways, right?
Ethan: Yeah. It's kind of hard to put it into words. I'll give it a shot. Loving Gwen has always been about romance, I guess. It's always been about sunsets and holding hands and candlelights and just quiet nights at home. You know, all those little moments of just -- just being that make life beautiful and great.
Fox: Hmm. Ok. What about Theresa?
Ethan: You know how it is with her. It's like being on a roller coaster. That's what love is like with her -- up and down, twists and turns, yelling, screaming, drama, drama, and a little more drama, and -- and passion. Loving her is exhausting and it's exhilarating.
Fox: That's beautiful.
Fox: You know, they're both extraordinary, and, of course, they're both polar opposites.
Ethan: Which makes everything between the three of us completely volatile. You know, I've never seen two women that can push each other's buttons like Gwen and Theresa can.
Fox: Look, I've kind of been watching this ménage between the three of you go on for a while now. Do you want to know what I think?
Ethan: Yeah. I need all the help I can get. Sure.
Fox: Ok, it's like this -- you and Gwen have been together ever since Rebecca and our mother played matchmaker with you two back in prep school, right? And Gwen was perfect for the guy who would run Crane Industries, and back then that was you. Our mother had one goal in mind for you, which was to use Crane Industries as a launching pad toward the presidency, with Gwen at your side the whole way, right? Only problem is nobody really foresaw Theresa coming into the picture, right?
Ethan: Mother never foresaw her secret coming out, either.
Fox: That you're not a Crane.
Ethan: Theresa admits stumbling onto that truth, but she denies ever making it public.
Fox: Well, dude, hold on, it doesn't matter how it happened. The point is that when it did happen and you were outed as Sam Bennett's son, Mother's dreams for you were shattered.
Ethan: Yeah, it didn't make me too happy at first, either.
Fox: That's what I'm getting at -- the dream, Ethan. The dream of you as Ethan Crane is over. You can't run Crane. You'll never be the president. It's all gone.
Ethan: No, not all of it. You see, I can still be with Gwen.
Fox: Yeah, well, that's my point. Gwen is the only part of the Crane dream that you feel like you can still have.
Ethan: Hold on a minute. Are you suggesting that I don't love her? Because I got news for you -- I love her.
Fox: Really? Because I think deep down, in places that you don't really like to talk about, you hold onto Gwen because that's your last chance at the Crane dream, and you feel like if you let her go, you're going to have to come to the realization that everything you were raised to be and everything that you know doesn't exist anymore.
Ethan: You think I'm that shallow, do you?
Fox: No. No, I don't think you're shallow. But I do think these things go on in your subconscious. As for Theresa, Ethan, I mean, maybe she's the new dream for Ethan Winthrop. Ethan Crane loved Gwen, no question about it, but I don't know, man, maybe Ethan Winthrop -- maybe he loves Theresa. Think about that.
Gwen: I'm going to kill you!
Katherine: Gwen, stop it! Please don't do this, Gwen!
Gwen: Bitch! I hate you!
Katherine: Gwen, stop it! Stop it! You two, stop it! Gwen, stop it! Stop it!
Gwen: You bitch!
Katherine: Oh, my god! Gwen! Oh! Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god, Gwen! You killed her!
Sam: Who could that be?
Ivy: Wait, wait.
Sam: Hey, Johnson. What are you doing here?
Ofc. Johnson: Records said you wanted the 411 on a certain club owner. Chief? Is that the guy?
Sam: Yeah, that's him -- "Spike." Look, Johnson, tell the duty officer I want this scum under surveillance 24/7. If he so much as jaywalks, I want to know about it.
Ofc. Johnson: Yes, sir.
Sam: Johnson? I mean it. I want you to spread the word. I want this piece of garbage put away for good, and I don't care what it takes.
Ivy: Sam, what's wrong?
Sam: This is the scum who owned the club where Jessica was violated.
Ivy: Oh, my god.
Sam: Turns out he's even more of a lowlife than I thought. He's had underground clubs all over the northeast. He has good lawyers. He's paid and intimidated witnesses, and so far he's managed to always beat the rap.
Sam: I mean, look at this list of women who've accused him of everything of assault to date rape.
Ivy: Well, this is one time I'm glad both of my girls are away so predators like this can't harm them.
Sam: Oh, this guy's a piece of work. Totally thumbing his nose at the police and the D.A. damn him.
Ivy: Sam, I haven't seen you this upset about a criminal before.
Sam: He's just like Alistair! Total disrespect for women and the law. He thinks we can't touch him, and so far he's been right.
Ivy: What are you going to do?
Sam: I'm going to let him know we're watching him. I want him to feel the heat. I'm going to make his life a living hell. Eventually, he's going to slip up, and I'll be there. I'm going to come down on him like a ton of bricks. There's never been anyone I want to bring down more.
Ivy: You know, Sam, you're scaring me a little. You sound like you might break the law to get this guy.
Sam: Yeah, well, you think what you want, Ivy. This punk is going to get what's coming to him, I swear it. No one hurts my little girl and gets away with it.
Spike: Jess, what's the matter? I thought we were getting along so well.
Jessica: Oh, we are, Spike. But like I said, I really need to head home.
Spike: Whoa. I want to see you again.
Jessica: I said I'd be back.
Spike: No, I mean privately for some one-on-one time. Listen, why don't you give me your number so that we can get together?
Jessica: Like, for a date?
Spike: Call it what you want. But I guarantee I will rock your world. And more than once if you're a good bad girl.
Jessica: I like you, Spike. I mean, you're a fun guy and all, but I'm not sure you're my type.
Spike: Once you have me, I'll be your type.
Jessica: I meant you're a little old for me.
Jessica: Sorry. I just think we shouldn't be more than friends.
Spike: Ok, but you don't know what you're missing. Look, I want you to call me, ok, if you change your mind. Listen to me -- you are hot, Jessica, and the two of us could make some serious sweat together.
Jessica: Ok. I really must go.
Spike: That's right, Jessica. Hurry home to Daddy Top Cop. I got plans for him, too.
Sam: Drugs, underage gambling, teen prostitution. How the hell does this guy manage to walk on so many charges?
Ivy: Sam, honey, there are better ways to get worked up.
Sam: Ivy, not now.
Ivy: Jessica, you're home.
Sam: Hey, honey. Did you have a good night at the movies?
Ivy: Yeah, how did you like the movie you and Kay went to?
Jessica: Oh, it was ok.
Sam: Hey, I'm so glad you and your sister had a good time tonight.
Sam: Jessica, listen, why don't you have a snack with us before you go up to bed? I'll make you whatever you want.
Jessica: I'm not hungry.
Ivy: Sam, do you want me to make you something?
Sam: No, thanks, Ivy. Um -- but I think it's time for us to open up our champagne. Now that I know that Jessica's home and is safe, I can -- I can unwind.
Ivy: Well, the champagne and I promise to do our part.
Jessica: And Kay accuses me of acting easy.
Sam: Bennett residence. Hey, Johnson. I didn't expect to hear from you. What? Look, I'm on my way. You keep an eye on that scum until I get there. All right. Sorry, Ivy, I'm going to have to take a rain check on the champagne. The creep I was telling you about -- he's at it again.
Ivy: Oh, no.
Sam: I'm going to take down this lowlife scum if it's the last thing I do. Ivy, don't wait up.
Ivy: Be careful, Sam. Damn.
Jessica: So much for your romantic evening with Daddy. Cheers.
Ivy: Jessica, you may not have champagne. You are underage.
Jessica: True. But I've got you over a barrel, so we're even. Have a glass on me, Ivy.
Ivy: You know, you've put me in a really, really terrible position, having to lie to your dad about where you were tonight.
Jessica: Yeah, get used to it, because unless you want my dad to call my mom about coming home, you're going to be lying for me a lot. Hmm?
Beth: There's got to be some way out of this.
Mrs. Wallace: One cyanide and tonic coming up.
Beth: Please just -- shh, be quiet. I got to -- I got to think.
Mrs. Wallace: What is there to think about -- except the menu for your last meal. Besides, Bethie, this is it. There is no way out. I mean, even as we speak, that nice, young lab technician is up there getting a sample of Marty's D.N.A. Which he's going to compare to yours and Sheridan, and then Luis' one true love is going to be revealed as Marty's mama. Oh, boy, justice will be served! Sheridan will have her baby back in her arms and an unspeakable wrong will be righted. And you, Bethie -- you are going to be Matt and Katie’s lead story on "Today," just in time for sweeps week.
Beth: I've been in tight spots before and I've managed to wiggle out. This time's no different. I just -- I need a plan.
Mrs. Wallace: Hmm. Hmm. A plan. Uh-huh, let's see. Well, I think you got two -- skip over the border or commit suicide, whichever.
Beth: No. Either way, I lose Luis. That doesn't work.
Mrs. Wallace: Lose Luis? Oh, Bethie. You never had Luis in the first place.
Beth: Ok, you're not helping.
Mrs. Wallace: And you are not listening. Or is it the voices are screaming so loud in your head that you can't hear what I'm trying to tell you? Which is that once it is out that Sheridan and Luis are Marty's parents, they are going to know and realize how you wound up with him in the first place, that you were that crazed clown that kidnapped Sheridan, held her hostage, and stole her baby. And then Luis -- Luis is either going to, one, feed you to the woodchipper, or two, let the courts decide your fate. Hmm, let's see. Life in the big house, lethal injection. Well, either one works for me.
Beth: God, wishing bad things on your daughter. You should be ashamed.
Mrs. Wallace: After having an orangutan change my diaper, I have no shame left. I told you it was going to come to this, that your sick, selfish maternity plan was going to boom in your face.
Mr. Bateman: I took a test sample from the boy, Ms. Wallace. Now I just need a sample from you.
Beth: What about Sheridan?
Mr. Bateman: I've taken one from her already. Yours is the last I need. But once I have it, I can go down to the lab and test the child's D.N.A. against yours and Sheridan’s. One will be a match, thereby determining whether the boy's mother is you or Ms. Crane. Now, say "ah."
Beth: I'm not going to let you test me.
Katherine: Gwen! Oh, god, Gwen. Oh, my god. You killed her, Theresa! You've killed her!
Katherine: My god. Oh, my god. Theresa, do you know what you've done?
Katherine: You killed her.
Theresa: Ok. Oh, sweetie.
Katherine: You killed Gwen.
Theresa: She attacked me. She was choking me, and I was just protecting us. It's ok now, honey. You see? That mean, old crazy witch is dead, yes, and now we can live happily ever after -- you, me, and daddy. That's right, baby.
Fox: Theresa. Oh, my god, what happened?
Ethan: Oh, god.
Katherine: Gwen's dead. She's dead!
Luis: Beth, why are you being so difficult?
Sheridan: I can think of a reason.
Luis: Would you just let the tech do his job?
Beth: I'm afraid I have bad breath.
Mr. Bateman: I've smelled worse.
Luis: Beth, don't be silly. Look, I'm sure that your breath is fine, ok? Would you just let him swab your mouth so we can do this damn D.N.A. test and get it over with?
Sheridan: Yeah, Beth, aren't you just dying to prove me wrong?
Luis: Let the man do his job.
Mr. Bateman: See? All done.
Mrs. Wallace: No kidding.
Sheridan: There. That wasn't so difficult, was it, Beth? Marty slept right through it, and now you're finished, too. So, how soon do you think it'll be before we get the test results?
Mr. Bateman: Tomorrow or the day after.
Beth: Oh, really?
Luis: I thought it would be tonight.
Mr. Bateman: Sorry, the lab's really backed up.
Sheridan: Oh, well. I've waited this long. One more day won't kill me.
Beth's voice: Don't count on it.
Mr. Bateman: I'll be in touch as soon as I have the results.
Sheridan: Yes, thank you.
Luis: Beth, look, thanks again for being so understanding. I know this was difficult for you, but trust me, this D.N.A. test, it's best for everyone.
Mrs. Wallace: Including a jury of your peers.
Sheridan: Ready to go?
Luis: Yeah. Good night.
Sheridan: Sweet dreams, Beth.
Beth: I can't believe this is happening.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, Bethie. I know that you and reality don't stay in touch much, but it is happening. It is really happening, and your days as a fake Mama, they are numbered because once the result of that D.N.A. test is in, everyone, everyone is going to know what Sheridan has known all along -- that Marty is her son with Luis, not yours. And when they realize that, blah, blah, the end. The end of you, Bethie boo.
Ethan: She can't be dead. I just came here to bring her home.
Fox: Ethan, she's breathing.
Ethan: She is? Oh, god. Gwen? Gwen.
Ethan: Oh, Gwen. Gwen. I thought I lost you.
Theresa: Ethan, I found her. I found our baby girl.
Ethan: Theresa -- uh -- Gwen --
Gwen: Ethan, just go to her. Just go to her. I know you want to.
Jessica: Oh. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Ivy: Jessica, is that my good jewelry?
Jessica: It is.
Ivy: I don't recall giving you permission to go rummaging around through my things as a way to amuse yourself.
Jessica: We're family now, Ivy -- share and share alike. You're welcome to some of my condoms if Daddy's running low.
Ivy: Is that your audition to be shock jock?
Jessica: Oh, please. You live for Daddy to make love to you, so drop the June Cleaver bit.
Ivy: Back to my jewelry, Jessica -- make sure you put it away when you're done looking at it.
Jessica: Hmm, I always do.
Ivy: I beg your pardon?
Jessica: I always put back what I don't sell.
Ivy: What? You've done this before?
Jessica: Remember those pearl and diamond earrings?
Ivy: The ones my father gave me when I turned 16 and I wore to his first inaugural?
Jessica: Whatever. I got a boatload of money for them, and I'm thinking I'll get even more for this necklace.
Ivy: You thought wrong! I forbid you to sell any more of my jewelry.
Jessica: We both know you're bluffing, Ivy. Mess with me and I'll act out enough for Daddy to call mom to come home. And you wouldn't like that, would you?
Ivy: I cannot believe that you are blackmailing me.
Jessica: Oh. Yeah, right. Like you've never done anything naughty before to get what you want.
Ivy: You don't know that.
Jessica: Then tell Daddy I'm selling your bling-bling. What was it that I don't know?
Ivy: At least haggle to get top dollar for that.
Jessica: Thanks for the tip. What's this?
Ivy: That is none of your business. It's something your father left behind.
Jessica: Spike? Why did Daddy have this?
Ivy: That man is the reason your father left tonight. He owns that awful club where you --
Ivy: Sam said Spike has been the scourge of the northeast for many years, most recently here in Harmony. Apparently, he has avoided being arrested on any number of crimes, but Sam is determined to change that. Yeah, I've never seen your father so angry about any criminal before. His hatred of Spike is pretty intense.
Jessica: So this guy really pushes Daddy's buttons?
Ivy: Yes, I would say Spike is Sam’s number one enemy.
Spike: Chief Bennett. Let me buy you a drink.
Sam: Got one. I'm here to warn you.
Spike: Warn away.
Sam: I don't know how you were able to reopen so quickly, but I'm watching you.
Spike: Oh, is that so?
Sam: That is so. You've been able to elude the law so far, but not anymore. The first time you slip up, I'm going to shut you down.
Spike: Well, then what? You drag me into court, some judge slaps my hand, and then I'm back in business before you cops can scarf down a box of doughnuts. So give it a rest, chief. No one has been able to pin anything on me that sticks before, and you won't be able to, either. I'm way smarter than you and much better at working the law, so stop wasting my time and yours.
Sam: I'm not done with you yet.
Spike: Well, well, well. Who's that, your little piece on the side?
Sam: Shut your filthy mouth. That's my daughter.
Spike: Oh, nice. I'm sure she'll make some man real happy one day, if you know what I mean.
Sam: You stay the hell out of my business and you stay the hell away from my family.
Spike's voice: It's too late for that, chief -- way too late.
Spike: You sure are touchy about your family, Chief Bennett. And why is that? You afraid that your job puts them in danger?
Sam: My family has nothing to do with me doing my job. Just remember what I said, Spike -- the second you mess up, I'm going to close you down for good.
Spike: Spike here.
Jessica: Hi, it's me, Jessica Bennett.
Spike: We must be psychic. I was just thinking about you, too.
Spike: Yeah. So what's up, babe?
Jessica: I was wondering if you're still interested in taking me out sometime.
Spike: You better believe I am, now more than ever.
Jessica: Great, because I've had time to think and, well, I've changed my mind. I realized you're definitely my type, way more than I first thought. I can't wait to go out with you, Spike.
Spike: Me, too.
Jessica: You and Mom hurt me so much, Daddy. Now it's my turn to hurt you.
Sheridan: Oh, Luis, just think -- pretty soon we'll be bringing Marty here every day! I can't wait to get our son back! Oh, god, I'll be able to make up for so much lost time. We'll be able to take him to so many great places. Oh, I know! We can take him to universal theme park in Los Angeles! We'll all have such a wonderful time.
Luis: I would love for everything you're saying to happen, Sheridan, but we don't know that the D.N.A. test is going to prove that Marty is your son.
Sheridan: I know, Luis. I know without a doubt that that D.N.A. test will prove what I've always known in my heart -- that our little boy did not die when that kidnapper's car went off the bridge. Our son is alive. Marty is our son, and this test is finally going to prove it once and for all.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, where is my Precious when I need her? Boy, she could surf the net like nobody's business.
Beth: Mother, how can you be searching for men online when my whole world is crashing down around me?
Mrs. Wallace: For your information, I am trying to find a website that sells new identities, fake passports, and the like.
Beth: That's so sweet of you to help me.
Mrs. Wallace: You are drunk. I'm just trying to save myself before those results of the D.N.A. test come back and everybody knows that Sheridan was right all along about Marty being her son with Luis. Boy, when that truth comes out, all hell is going break loose, and I don't want to be around here to get burned. No, missy, I'm going to be long gone from here. And I hear that Argentina is a lovely place, especially the men.
Beth: Thanks for being so loyal.
Mrs. Wallace: Loyal? This from the wicked fruit of my loins who has threatened me, who has threatened to put me in a nursing home because I called her on being crazy and violent? No, Bethie, no! I'm not waiting around here to be arrested as an accessory to your criminal acts. I told you this was going to happen! But would you listen to me? No! "Oh, mother, I know what I'm doing. My plan is going to work. Me and Luis and Marty, we're going to live happily ever after." Well, you are 0-3, missy! You failed! You accept your doom!
Beth: Damn Sheridan. She had to push and push for that D.N.A. test. She just could not let it go!
Mrs. Wallace: Yeah. Shame on her for wanting her own baby back.
Beth: Oh, shut up, mother.
Mrs. Wallace: Bethie, your plan was stupid and crazy -- beyond crazy, just like you! But your jig is up. You are going to lose Marty, you are going to lose Luis, and then you're going to prison. And for what, huh? I'll tell you. For kidnapping, attempted murder, threatening people, intimidation, medical fraud, digging a pit without a license, reckless driving -- remember, you almost killed Gwen -- and last but not least, elder abuse! So, missy, you are going down! You are finally going down to the fiery pits of hell!
Theresa: Look. See how much she's grown?
Ethan: Theresa, I --
Gwen: Ethan, just go to her. Just go to her. I know it's what you want to do.
Ethan: Gwen, Gwen --
Gwen: Am I wrong?
Theresa: Look. See? Daddy's here. Daddy's right here.
Gwen: Ethan, you're going to need to make a choice here once and for all. Ethan, I'm your wife. Are you going to honor our wedding vows, or are you just going to throw everything away? You need to make a choice right now. Who is it that you want to be with? Is it me or is it Theresa? Once and for all, make this choice.
Ethan: I've already made my choice. I know who I'm going to be with.
Gwen: Are you going to leave me for her?
On the Next Passions:
Sheridan: If those results come back that Marty is not my child, I -- I really don't know what I'll do.
Sam: I know Jessica wants this guy behind bars just as I do.
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