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Sheridan: Here comes another zerbert!
Marty: Ba, ba, ba!
Sheridan: "Ba, ba, ba!"
Luis: You two are so natural together.
Sheridan: This is just a dream come true for me, having the two men that I love most in the world, you and Marty, all to myself. I couldn't be happier.
Luis: Well, it's only the beginning for us, too.
Sheridan: It is incredible, isn't it?
Luis: Yeah. It just feels so right. It's like nothing could ever hurt us again.
Mrs. Wallace: Alistair! What -- what did you just say?
Alistair: Oh, come on, Edna, you're not that hard of hearing. I just said I was going to help Beth find a way to kill Sheridan.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, no, not again.
Beth: Hey, Mother, don't be rude to our guest. Please --
Mrs. Wallace: Have you gone completely cuckoo, Beth?
Beth: You sit down.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, no.
Beth: There you go. Thank you.
Alistair: I will, too.
Beth: Ahem. I'm going to make Alistair a drink to celebrate our becoming a team again. Heh-heh.
Mrs. Wallace: "Heh-heh."
Ivy: Sam, we have all had such a stressful night, what with finding out about Jessica being taken advantage of at that awful underground club, and then her turning on Kay and you like that. Look, why don't I make you a drink, and that'll help calm your nerves, ok?
Sam: Thanks, Ivy.
Tabitha: Oh, a cocktail sounds good to me, too. Do you know how to make a martini, dear?
Ivy: No, no.
Tabitha: Oh, dear. Oh, well, never mind. I'll have whatever Sam's having. Here.
Sam: Tabitha, I know it's nice of you to be neighborly, but it's getting kind of late and you look like you're tired. Why don't you go home and get some rest?
Tabitha: Oh, I'd love to, Sam, but -- oh, lots of ice for me, please, dear. No, I'd love to, but you see, Kay decided at the last minute to have a late-night get-together with her friends, and she asked me to make myself scarce. An appalling lapse in taste considering Jessica’s woes, but far be it from me to judge. No, I think the trouble is that Kay's been living with me for so long that she thinks of my house as her house. So here I am, a single mother with a child and no place to go. You don't mind having me, do you, Sam?
Sam: No. Of course not. I'll always be grateful that you took Kay into your home. Tabitha, you can stay as long as you like.
Tabitha: Oh, thank you, dear.
Ivy: Here you go, Sam.
Sam: Thank you.
Tabitha: Thank you. You know, I've changed my mind. Could I have a double Kahlua instead, please?
Ivy: Anything for the guest from hell.
Tabitha's voice: Oh, girlfiend, I'm just getting started here.
Jessica: I've made such a mess of things, such a mess. I hate feeling this way. It hurts so much. I just want the hurt to stop.
Dr. Carlyle: Any questions will have to wait, Dr. Russell. We have to get this baby to NICU stat.
Whitney: What's wrong with the baby?
Eve: I think it's respiratory problems. The baby is so small that its lungs probably are not functioning.
Whitney: God forgive me, but please don't let my baby make it. Please, god, just take him back up to heaven with you so that he can live with you instead of suffering here on earth.
Eve: Dr. Carlyle, everyone is desperate to know what's wrong with the baby, myself included.
Dr. Carlyle: Your grandson is in acute respiratory distress.
Eve: Oh, gosh. That's what I was afraid of. Poor little thing. What are his chances?
Dr. Carlyle: You know as well as I do that with a baby this small it's impossible to say. It'll be touch-and-go until we get him stabilized. That's if we get him stabilized.
Eve: I understand. It's in god's hands now.
Nurse: I have baby Russell’s latest test results.
Dr. Carlyle: Not now, nurse.
Nurse: Excuse me, doctor. I think you should look at these right away.
Theresa: They seemed really concerned with what the nurse just gave them.
Ethan: Yeah, I wonder why.
Dr. Carlyle: This is odd. There are aspects of the hematology that concern me. We'll have to do more tests to find out why.
Whitney: You know, you babies don't know how lucky you are to be born so healthy and happy, to not have parents who are brother and sister. God, please don't make my baby suffer because he's different. Just take him up to heaven to live with you so that he'll be ok and he'll be loved.
Theresa: Whitney? Why don't you come with us?
Whitney: Aren't these babies the cutest?
Theresa: Yeah. They're adorable.
Whitney: But mine isn’t. Mine is some kind of freak.
Theresa: Actually, he's gorgeous.
Whitney: Don't say that.
Theresa: Well, it's true. He is a beautiful little boy.
Whitney: Well, you know, if that helps him get adopted, then that's great, but otherwise -- you know, otherwise, I could care less.
Theresa: Well, you do care, Whitney. Your son is in the NICU fighting to stay alive. Do you hear me? And he needs you. He needs his mother. And behind that wall that you have put up, I know that you love him.
Whitney: No. No, I don’t.
Theresa: You know what? This is ridiculous. We don't have time to argue. I'm taking you to see him now.
Whitney: Theresa, get off! Theresa, leave me alone!
Ivy: Ok, here you go, Tabitha.
Tabitha: Oh, thank you.
Ivy: Kahlua double, on the rocks.
Tabitha: Mmm. Oh, that's delicious. Thank you, dear. Now, what should we talk about? Nowadays I spend so much time with babies and teenagers that I am absolutely starved for adult conversation.
Sam: Well, let's see. Did you guys hear about that freak windstorm that happened in Amesville last week? Trees down all over.
Tabitha: Oh, my. Oh.
Ivy: You know, Tabitha, Endora really doesn't look like you at all. She must resemble her father, whoever that is.
Sam: Ivy, honey, we were talking about the weather.
Ivy: I know, I'm sorry. It's just she reminds me of someone and I just can't figure out who.
Tabitha's voice: I wonder if Ivy has realized that Julian is Endora's father. If she has, that could be a problem -- for Ivy.
Sam: Anyway, that windstorm knocked out power to Amesville for hours.
Tabitha: Oh, dear.
Tabitha: Oh. Speaking of which -- it has been hours since you've left word for Grace to call, and you haven't heard back from her yet, have you?
Sam: Yeah, that's right.
Tabitha: Oh. Well, that -- that seems very odd to me. I mean, Grace never struck me as someone to dawdle returning calls, especially not one from the man she thought she was married to lo these many years. Don't you think it odd, Ivy?
Ivy: I can't let Grace come back to Harmony. She'll ruin everything I've done to win Sam back.
Sam: Ivy, was that Grace who called?
Ivy: No, Sam. No, it was just some sales pitch for new carpeting. I wouldn't really know if that was odd for Grace or not. We were never really that close.
Tabitha: Oh, no, of course not. No, Grace thought you were unseemly throwing yourself at Sam like some desperate housewife trying to get it on with the gardener. Oh, of course, that was -- that was just her opinion.
Ivy: I think I'll go and check on Jessica.
Sam: No, you know what? I will.
Ivy: No. I really think it's better if I do it, don't you?
Tabitha's voice: That'll teach Ivy to diss us. And if it doesn't, we'll just have to dismember our hostile hostess.
Ivy: Jessica? Jessica? Well, that's good. You need your sleep. Oh, boy. Who would ever believe this? I love Sam so much, I don't even mind picking up after his kids. Oh, my god. Where did all this blood come from?
Sheridan: Zo!! Zoom!
Luis: I don't know who's happier, you or Marty.
Sheridan: Oh, it's a tossup! Yes, it is.
Luis: Careful. Hey, you remember when little Marty had his picture taken with Santa? That elf said he thought you were his mother?
Luis: I can see why he said that now. You two resemble each other.
Sheridan: Really? So you believe me? It's not my imagination? Marty is my son.
Luis: Sheridan, that's -- that's not what I meant, ok? Marty is Beth's son. Our baby died.
Sheridan: Luis, they -- they never found his body.
Luis: Ok, but you have to stop saying that Marty is your son, ok? I mean, if Beth finds out, she's not going to want you seeing him anymore.
Sheridan: I don't want that to happen.
Luis: I don't either, especially considering Beth’s been really good about sharing custody. But if she finds out that you're --
Luis: Yeah, she's not going to want us to take Marty anymore.
Sheridan: No, look, I just got carried away again, that's all. I know that Marty is Beth's son. I'll never say that he's my child ever again.
Sheridan: Isn't that right, sweetheart?
Sheridan: Yes. I definitely have my head straight now. Beth is your real mommy.
Luis: Yeah. Although I do wish I knew what our son looked like.
Sheridan: I still miss him, Luis. Even though I only held our son in my arms for just a few minutes, I'll never forget how it felt. It -- it was so wonderful. I just wish I knew who was behind my kidnapping and our baby's death.
Luis: Yeah. Well, considering everything else your father has done, I wouldn't be surprised if Alistair was behind it.
Beth: Alistair, what would you like to drink?
Alistair: Uh, I like something that goes down smooth, you know what I mean?
Beth: Gin ok?
Alistair: Why the scowl, Edna? Overdue for a diaper change? Precious! It's time to help your patient.
Mrs. Wallace: Precious isn't here. She left for the jungle to look after a sick aunt.
Alistair: Really? Oh, that's a shame. I always had a soft spot for that Simian. Now, Beth, about me helping you kill Sheridan --
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, merciful angels! How you can go from missing a monkey to plotting your daughter's demise -- well, that is just -- it's beyond me!
Beth: Shut up. You know, getting to the bathroom in time is beyond you.
Mrs. Wallace: This so-called father wants to smoke his own progeny! You are sick. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick!
Alistair: And I know you've been tempted to do away with Beth on more than one occasion.
Mrs. Wallace: Send away, not do away. She is evil! She kidnapped Sheridan and she stole your grandchild.
Alistair: With my help as Charlie.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, I still can't believe that one of the most powerful men in the world dressed up like a woman to help missy fit here torture your own daughter.
Alistair: Sheridan deserved it.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh!
Alistair: She's always been a problem child. She's needy and fragile just like her mother, Katherine. And if she ever does marry Luis, that means he gets access to everything that is Crane. That will not do because Luis at one time got very close to my secrets, and that will never happen again. And as far as their love child is concerned, that -- that Irish Latino mutt will never lay claim to my empire. So Sheridan has to be stopped before she breeds with Luis again. And that's where you come on, my dear, because we are a team to get rid of Sheridan.
Ivy: Jessica? Jessica, honey, wake up. Jessica, wake up!
Jessica: Ivy, what's going on?
Ivy: That's what I want to know. I was putting away some clothes that were on the floor and I put them in the hamper, and there's this towel in there and it's full of blood. What -- where did that come from?
Jessica: The towel is bloody because I forgot what time of month it was. Wasn't ready and had an accident.
Ivy: Jessica, look, honey, are you sure it's your period? Because after what happened at the club tonight, maybe it's because of that.
Jessica: No, it wasn’t.
Ivy: Well, I'm going to call Eve anyway and have her check you out.
Jessica: No, Ivy, don’t. I just lost track of what day it was, that's all, and sometimes I start off heavy. It's no big deal, so just forget it.
Ivy: Are you sure?
Ivy: Ok. Ok, I'm -- I'm not going to push you, but if it -- if it turns out to be more, do you promise you'll let me know?
Jessica: Oh, sure. Whatever.
Ivy: I'm sorry I woke you up. I just -- I was terrified something else had happened to you.
Jessica: Huh. Really, Ivy?
Ivy: Yes. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt again.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Jessica: You don't care about me. I could've bled to death and it wouldn't have mattered to you as long as you kept your place in my father's bed.
Sam: Look, Tabitha, I really appreciate everything you've done. I mean, taking Kay in when she insisted on leaving home, and taking care of Maria. You know, it's really comforting to know that she's right next door and I know they're both well taken care of.
Tabitha: Yes, well, it's been our pleasure, Sam. I must say I do find it odd that Grace hasn't called you back yet. I remember Ivy did say that she thought Grace was too busy living la dolce vita, jet-setting around with her first husband to give you much thought, a small-town rube by comparison.
Sam: Ivy said that?
Tabitha: Oh, yes, but of course she would never admit that to you.
Sam: I can see why.
Tabitha: Oh. Oh, Sam, I -- I didn't mean to upset you. You seem very happy being back with Ivy.
Sam: I am.
Tabitha: Oh, well, a toast, then -- to loving the one you're with. If it's the one you love, so much the better.
Eve: What's wrong with the baby's blood?
Dr. Carlyle: I'll need to run the tests before I can say for sure, but we're dealing with something very unusual.
Chad: God, Whitney’s baby is so small.
Julian: It tears at my heart to see a baby so sick, having to fight for its life this way.
Ethan: I hope Fox and Whitney’s son makes it. Gwen and I -- we've lost -- we've lost a daughter, we've lost a son. It's a pain you don't really completely get over.
Julian: I pray that Fox and Whitney never have to live through that.
Julian's voice: Fox and Chad will suffer enough when the truth comes out that Chad is the baby's father.
Chad: You know, is it me or is it weird that the baby's skin isn't lighter? I mean, Fox is white and Whitney’s not that dark. You'd think their baby would be fairer than Whitney.
Julian: Well, you know how odd genes can be, and babies -- babies can change. You're my son. You don't look that much like me.
Chad: Yeah, I guess.
Julian: How's the baby doing?
Eve: Not good. Dr. Carlyle is going to run some more tests, try to pinpoint the problem.
Chad: What a mess.
Eve: It could get worse very quickly. Where's Whitney?
Ethan: Oh, she's -- she's at the nursery, we think. Theresa went to look for her.
Eve: Excuse me. I want to talk to her in private.
Whitney: Theresa, get off! Leave me alone! I don't want to see my baby!
Theresa: You're afraid, Whitney that if you get close to your son, you’re not going to be able to place him up for adoption.
Whitney: Look, this isn't some stray puppy you're trying to get me to save here. My baby is a product of incest. I can't love it, and that's just all there is to it.
Theresa: Why not, Whitney?
Whitney: It's a living reminder of the sin Chad and I committed when we were together.
Theresa: You're blaming your child, Whitney, and that's not fair. He shouldn't be punished for something you and Chad did before you knew you were brother and sister.
Eve: Whitney? I need to speak to you right away.
Theresa: He's not doing well, is he?
Eve: No, he's not. He has respiratory problems like I thought, and his blood work is problematic.
Whitney: Oh, my god, I knew it.
Eve: Honey, I want you to give me permission to tell Dr. Carlyle that Chad is the baby's father.
Whitney: No. No, you can't tell her.
Eve: Honey, if she knows the truth, it will give her a better chance at saving the baby's life.
Whitney: No, but that's just it -- I don't want him to make it.
Sheridan: Whoosh! There you go. Yeah.
Sheridan: You know, I know that my father is evil, but even he must have limits as to how far he'll go. To let his own grandson die -- it just doesn't seem possible.
Luis: Why not? We know Alistair killed Antonio. He's tried to kill us a bunch of times. Why not kill our baby?
Luis: What about Chad?
Sheridan: Well, when Eve gave birth to Julian’s son, my father had Chad kidnapped and put into foster care. My father had everyone believing that Chad was dead when he really wasn’t. Now, what if he did the same thing with our baby? What if my father kidnapped our son and made us believe that he was dead when he really wasn't?
Luis: I doubt it. Alistair's a lot meaner now than he was when Eve had Chad.
Sheridan: What could an innocent baby possibly do to my father?
Luis: Well, our son would be another Crane heir, with my blood in his veins. And I'm sure Alistair likes the idea of that just about as much as he likes the idea of us getting married.
Sheridan: Because as my husband, you would have access to all things Crane.
Luis: Including Alistair’s secret files. And he knows if I got a hold of those files again, I'd expose him for sure.
Sheridan: I bet my father is up to no good at this very minute.
Alistair: To us, making beautiful music together, hmm?
Beth: Mmm. I just can't wait until Sheridan's out of the picture so I can finally have Luis.
Alistair: Oh, good. How are we going to go about this? Guns, knives, poison?
Beth: Well, I think whatever we do, it's got to be clever so they can't trace it back to us.
Alistair: Yeah, well, Beth, that goes without saying.
Beth: Oh, yeah, right. Well, I guess we could, you know, stage a fatal bear trap accident.
Mrs. Wallace: That's it! That is it, I've heard enough. I am calling the cops right now to put a stop to this!
Alistair: Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa! You don't even think about telling anyone about what Beth and I are about to do. Because we'll practice killing on you first. And believe me, it'll be a very horrible, ugly, painful death.
Beth: Hear, hear!
Ivy: Jessica, of course I care about you. Your happiness and your well-being are as important to me as they are to your father.
Jessica: Oh, really? You know, I think Kay was right when she said you broke up Mom and Dad.
Ivy: Kay also went on to say that she was wrong to accuse me of anything. And I'm not the one who forced your mother to go off to Europe with David. Grace chose to do that.
Jessica: And you waited a whopping five minutes before you swooped in on Daddy like a vulture.
Ivy: You know, I'm sorry you feel that way because that's not quite the way things happened. Theresa kicked me out of the mansion. I couldn't walk. I had no place to go. Grace and your father decided I could stay here, and it wasn't until after your mother abandoned all of you that Sam came back to me. And why shouldn't he, Jessica? I'm his first love, he was mine. We couldn't resist each other any more than Grace could resist going back to David, her first love.
Jessica: Yeah. And I hate Mom for doing it, and I hate you, too.
Ivy: I came up to check on you because your father didn't want to upset you. So, if there is anything I can do to help, would you please just let me know?
Jessica: Leave me alone. I don't want your help.
Ivy: How about some advice?
Jessica: Yeah, me take advice from you? The woman who lied to her husband for decades about who her oldest son's father is, who kept Ethan from his real father and siblings. No, Ivy. I don't want your advice.
Ivy: You're making a mistake, Jessica. I can help you if you'll let me.
Jessica: Do you really see us bonding here? Having girl talk over herbal tea? Oh, watching lifetime movies together? Get real.
Ivy: Jessica, I would like to be close to you -- to you and to Kay and to Noah, if he would come home. It would make your father so happy.
Jessica: Happy enough to ask you to marry him?
Ivy: Excuse me?
Jessica: That's what this whole perfect mother bit is about -- using me to score points with Daddy. Only I won't let you. Now get out!
Ivy: Jessica --
Jessica: I said get out!
Sam: Here you go, Tabitha, another double Kahlua on the rocks.
Tabitha: Oh, thank you, Sam.
Sam: You know, I can't remember the last time the two of us hung out together.
Tabitha: Well, that's because we never did. Well, I usually spent time alone here with Grace. I'll never forget our lovely afternoons together -- dear Grace and me and a freshly baked tomato soup cake. Oh, I can almost taste it now, that salty tomato flavor mingling with the sweet vanilla frosting. Indescribable.
Sam: You know, Ivy baked for me once and it was -- interesting.
Tabitha: Oh, yes. Grace really did have a knack for hearth and home, didn't she? All the things that mean the most to you. Well, of course, I'm sure that Ivy has her attributes, as well, and it must be really a fun challenge trying to find them.
Ivy: Well, Jessica hates me, too. I went in there to check on her and she just said horrible things and threw me out of her room.
Sam: Well, I'm going to go talk to her and tell her that she can't talk to you that way.
Ivy: No, no, Sam. She's hurting right now, and we don't need to upset her any more.
Sam: Well, she needs to learn some respect.
Ivy: I know, but --
Ivy: She blames me for your breakup with Grace. And if you go in there and get into it with her right now, she's just going to hate me even more. You know, Sam, I'm afraid that she's going to try to do something to come between us, and I love you. I love you so much, and the thought of being without you, I just --
Tabitha: Poison Ivy is quite the little actress, isn't she? She's completely buffaloed Sam into believing that she's sincere. Of course, most men are pushovers when it comes to feelings. They wouldn't know the truth if it bit them on their bum. And I include your father in that clueless group, Endora. Imagine Julian thinking that he could take you away from me. Oh, we'd give him a run for his money, wouldn't we?
Chad: You know, what is taking so long? That baby's in there fighting for his life and Whitney’s not here. You know, I'm going to go find her.
Julian: Son, no. Please, let her be for now. If there are decisions to be made about the baby's care, it's best that Whitney can make them in private.
Chad: Yeah, but I want to help her.
Julian: It's not your place. Leave your sister alone.
Eve: You don't want your baby? You don't want your baby to make it? You -- you don't mean that, Whitney. You can't mean that!
Whitney: Yes, Mother, I do. My baby is a product of sin. Don't you see that's why he's sick? God doesn't want my baby to make it either.
Eve: Honey, god allowed your baby to be born in spite of the fact that you starved yourself during your pregnancy. So he's sick. So what, honey? I mean, he's surviving. There's got to be a reason for that.
Whitney: Mother, you're a doctor. Don't try to mix science and religion. Look, you know as well as I do that my baby is doomed to a miserable life even if he does make it. So that's why it's best if he doesn’t. Look, just stop the doctors, ok? Stop the doctors from trying to save my baby and let him go back up to god.
Sheridan: You know, I will never understand why my father is such a volcano of hate. You know, I get how his devastation over Rachel’s death has turned into anger, but the intensity of hatred that he feels towards everyone and everything is just beyond me.
Luis: Seems like Alistair likes to make everyone as miserable as he is.
Sheridan: It's unbelievable. And unbelievably sad. My father could be living such a happy life. Instead, it's totally devoid of all joy or happiness.
Luis: You're not going to change him, Sheridan. He is the way he is.
Sheridan: I know. I just wish that my father could feel the bliss that I'm feeling right now, thanks to you and Marty.
Alistair: So, Edna, are you going to tell anyone that Beth and I are planning to murder Sheridan?
Mrs. Wallace: Me? No, not a soul.
Alistair: Well, good. Because if you do, I will wring your neck.
Mrs. Wallace: What the heck was that?
Jessica: Damn Ivy for pretending to care. I hate Ivy almost more than I hate my own mother. Mom bailed on Dad and us kids. Then Ivy swooped in and took Daddy all for herself. I hate her, and I hate Daddy, too.
Ivy: Thank you for reassuring me. It's just I love you so much, you know, and the thought of losing you, I just --
Sam: Hey. We're a couple now and we're going to stay that way.
Grace: Sam, it's Grace. I called earlier. I left a message, but I guess you didn't get it.
Chad: Whitney does need me. She knows I love her, and she loves me.
Julian: Whitney -- she can't love you, son. Those kinds of feelings go against god and nature.
Ethan: Julian's right. Whitney can't love you the way you want her to anymore, Chad.
Chad: Don't you two get it? It's not what I want, it's how it is. That's the reason why she refused to marry Fox -- because she still loves me and I love her.
Julian: You and Whitney cannot be together. You are brother and sister. You have to forget about her before you do something that'll -- that'll destroy the rest of your life.
Eve: Honey, you are not thinking rationally when it comes to the baby.
Theresa: Your mom is right. You have to feel something for him.
Whitney: Of course I feel for him, Theresa. I mean, it's killing me to know that my son is in there fighting for his life. But don't you guys see I'm doing this for him? God, I can't imagine going through every day of our life looking into his little face and seeing him in such pain. And Fox? He's going to know that something is wrong, and then when he finds out the truth he is going to be blown away. And so will Chad and Daddy and -- don't you see? I don't want everybody seeing my son as a mistake or a freak, because it's not fair. It's not fair to him.
Eve: It is so true that everyone will be surprised when they first find out. But after that, all they're going to be thinking is "let's save the baby."
Whitney: But don't you see saving the baby is just going to prolong its suffering? Don't you see we're condemning him to a life of physical and mental problems, humiliation, desperation --
Eve: No, you can't possibly know that!
Whitney: Look, I know I don't want to take the chance. I'm not going to do it with my son. I'm not.
Eve: Oh, Whitney, just --
Whitney: Mom, please just tell them to stop. Tell them to stop trying to save the baby, ok?
Eve: You -- you don't know what you're saying, Whitney.
Whitney: I know you guys think I'm a monster, but I'm not. I'm trying to do what's best for my son. And if it means leaving it in god's hands, then that's what I'm going to do, so just stop with the needles and the tubes and everything, and just let my baby die in peace.
On the Next Passions:
Jessica: I really do hate them all.
Julian: My father -- if he gets wind of this rescue mission, he could kill Fox.
Fox: If I'm going to get in there and get Gwen and Theresa’s baby out, now's the time.
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