Passions Transcript Friday 11/26/04
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[an error occurred while processing this directive]by Boo
Ethan: So, can I get you anything? Any juice or tea or anything?
Theresa: No, thank you. I'm fine.
Ethan: You sure? I mean, you gave us quite a scare there, you know.
Theresa: Yeah. But dr. Russell says that I'm fine and the baby is fine, so --
Theresa: You know, actually I could use another pillow behind my back, though.
Ethan: Yeah. There you go.
Theresa: Thank you.
Rebecca: Oh, would you look at how she operates, how she is manipulating your husband. You've got to put a stop to this.
Gwen: Mother, don't even start. Look, you were wrong about theresa faking her cramps. She was bleeding, and we should have brought her here much sooner.
Rebecca: Please, how many problems has this little tramp faked in order to get ethan's attention?
Gwen: Listen, I am just as suspicious of theresa as you are, but in this case she wasn't faking, so just let it go, all right?
Theresa: Gwen, can you do me a big favor?
Gwen: What's that?
Theresa: Could you go to the mansion and get something for me?
Rebecca: Oh, I can't believe this. Now, she's trying to get rid of you in order to be alone with ethan.
Eve: Oh, god, please, it's not possible.
Ivy: Well, I'm afraid it is possible, eve. There's a chance that whitney is pregnant by chad.
Eve: Oh, god, but he's --
ivy: Her half brother, yes.
Eve: Oh, god, please, not chad.
Whitney: Mom, mom, don't listen to her. I mean, she doesn't even know what she's talking about. Chad is not the father. Fox is. I know it for sure.
Eve: Oh, god. My children -- my children are having a baby together --
sheridan: Stop it!
Paloma: No, luis, don't -- no, don't!
Sheridan: Stop it!
Pilar: This is your fault! You see what you've done?
Paloma: Don't talk to my tia like that!
Pilar: Your tia is nothing but a whore and a tramp who's been living with a married a married man for years!
Katherine: Don't talk back to your mother, ok? She has every right to be angry.
Paloma: She has no right to say those horrible things to you! You are the one who raised me when she threw me away!
Pilar: I did not throw you away! I had not choice, paloma!
Sheridan: Luis, stop! Stop it!
Beth: Mr. Fitzgerald!
Martin: Luis, she's right! We have to talk!
Luis: The hell we do!
Sheridan: Oh! Stop it!
Tabitha: This is even better than I expected.
Kay: Tabitha, what the hell's going on?
Tabitha: "Hell" being the operative word. Just a little holiday cheer my clever endora cooked up.
Kay: Well, what's that?
Tabitha: Oh, that's another of endora's surprises. I have no idea what's inside. I'm afraid to ask. But I'm sure we'll find out very soon.
Kay: What are they fighting about? Tabitha, what have you done?
Tabitha: What have I done? I've just brought the lopez-fitzgerald family together for thanksgiving.
Kay: Tabitha, luis just found out that mr. Wheeler is really his long-lost father! He hates them for abandoning them! And pilar just found out that mrs. Wheeler is really martin fitzgerald's other wife!
Sheridan: Stop fighting!
Kay: You did this on purpose, didn't you?
Tabitha: Oh, well, every party needs a theme, kay. This is the thanksgiving from hell.
Sheridan: Luis -- luis, get off of him!
Sheridan: Luis, stop this! Get off of him! Get -- oh!
Singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and i would fly on the wings of the bird I knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|ú|
Rebecca: Well, what did I tell you, hmm? I mean, this whole "oh, please, help me, I'm bleeding" thing was just another one of theresa schemes to get ethan to pay attention to her.
Gwen: Mother, dr. Russell said that theresa was not faking. She did have a problem.
Rebecca: What? So she bled a little. No, she's playing the poor sick pregnant girl just to get to ethan.
Theresa: You know what, rebecca? I am a sick, pregnant girl. And you don't even know why I'd like gwen to go to the mansion for me, do you?
Rebecca: Of course I know why -- so you can be alone with ethan.
Ethan: All right, enough, ok. Look, hey, I will go to the house and get whatever you need, ok?
Theresa: No -- ethan, gwen has to go for me.
Rebecca: But this girl is shameless! Oh! I mean, gwen, she even admits that she wants to get rid of you. Now do you believe it when I tell you what a scheming conniver she really is?
Eve: Oh, god, my children are having a baby.
Whitney: Mother, please --
eve: Oh, god, what have I done? God, if I had only told you that I had a son, then maybe none of this would have happened.
Whitney: But it didn't happen. Look, chad's not the father of my baby, ok? Fox is.
Ivy: Well, you can't know that for certain until you're examined, and that'll answer any questions.
Fox: I don't have any questions, ok? Whitney said the baby was mine! Now, I believe her!
Chad: Well, I've got questions. If there's a chance that the baby is mine, I want to know.
Whitney: Chad, please, please don't make this any more difficult than it already is, ok?
Eve: Whitney, honey, we do need to know, because if chad is the father, there might be something that I can do.
Whitney: Something you can do? Are you suggesting that I have --
Whitney: Some sort of --
eve: No, honey, not that. I'm talking about gene therapy. So please, just come with me and then we can find out how far along you are.
Whitney: No! You know what? No! I'm not going anywhere with you, mother. I don't want you touching me.
Sheridan: Luis, stop this!
Martin: Just take it easy, luis!
Sheridan: Stop it! Oh, my god! Luis, you've got to stop this fighting!
Pilar: How dare you show your face here? Have you no shame?
Katherine: I'm sorry, pilar. If you --
paloma: Don't apologize! You have every right to be here. You've been more like a mother to me than she's ever been.
Pilar: Paloma --
kay: When you sent us to the bakery to get the pies, simone and I thought it was just going to be us for thanksgiving.
Tabitha: In an uncharacteristic fit of generosity, I decided to have a family dinner.
Kay: Oh, generosity, my foot. You knew that they were going to kill each other if they were in the same room together.
[Marty and maria cry]
Kay: Now look what you've done. They're scaring the babies.
Simone: Oh --
tabitha: Not my endora. She's loving this.
Kay: Oh, it's ok, sweetheart. Don't cry. Would you stop this? You're scaring the babies.
Sheridan: Luis, stop it!
Sheridan: Oh, please!
Pilar: Now, stop it. They're right. You have to think of the children!
Katherine: Oh, my god. You're hurt. You're bleeding.
Martin: Yeah, I'm all right. I'm all right, thank you.
Katherine: Oh. I'm all right, thank you.
Sheridan: Luis, are you all right?
Luis: I'm fine. And we're leaving.
Tabitha: No, luis, luis, don't go.
Luis: Tabitha, I can't stay here, not with this man who abandoned my family. And I'm taking beth and marty and sheridan, and, paloma, come on, you're coming, too.
Tabitha: Now look what you've done. If they all leave, what am I going to do for my entertainment?
Luis: Come on, we're leaving.
Katherine: No, no, no, don't you leave. Martin and I will leave.
Paloma: If you leave, I leave with you, papa.
Pilar: Paloma, please, mija, don't go. I came here to be with you.
Paloma: Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want to be with you. I want to be with my family.
Pilar: We are your family, luis and I!
Paloma: No! You're strangers!
Martin: Paloma, don't talk to your mother like that.
Luis: Don't you talk to my sister like that, huh?
Martin: Look, paloma's my daughter and you're my son.
Luis: You're not my father, ok? You abandoned me and my family, you got that?
Martin: Luis, you don't understand.
Luis: No, I understand that you're a coward. Now, shut up.
Martin: Luis --
[Martin and luis struggle]
Simone: Look! The pinata -- it looks like blood!
Tabitha's voice: Endora, what did you put in that pinata?
Kay: It must be a body. Tabitha, what have you done now? This ever happened to you?
Pilar: My god, what could be in that thing?
Tabitha: That's what I'd like to know.
Kay: Ew, look, it's starting to break open.
Simone: Oh, my god --
katherine: Oh, my -- ew.
Sheridan: Oh, my god! What -- what is this?
Tabitha: Oh, my -- oh, my -- I think it's -- it's cranberry sauce!
Katherine and simone: Cranberry sauce?
Paloma: Why is that pinata filled with cranberry sauce?
Tabitha: I -- I have no idea. I -- I thought I ordered candy.
Kay: Ew, tabitha, where did you get this thing?
Tabitha: Oh, well, I -- off the internet. Now -- oh -- it's nothing. Just -- everybody take their seats. Dinner's almost ready.
Luis: Well, I'm sorry, tabitha, but there's no way that we can stay for thanksgiving. Mama, come on, we're leaving.
Martin: Come on. Please? Can't you stay? Can't we at least try to get along this one day?
Luis: "Get along"? What, are you nuts? You have no idea what you've done?
Pilar: Luis is right. You thought nothing of walking out on your son and on your wife and on your whole family!
Katherine: That's not true, pilar.
Pilar: Don't tell me that's not true!
Paloma: Stop yelling at her! She hasn't done anything wrong.
Pilar: She hasn't done anything wrong? It's because of her that your father left me and our children!
Paloma: You abandoned me!
Luis: Do you see what you've done? All the heartache that you've caused?
Sheridan: Enough! All right? Stop all this craziness! Huh!
Tabitha: Sheridan's right. This is -- it's terrible. And it's all my fault. All I wanted to do was to bring paloma's family together to celebrate her first thanksgiving in harmony. And -- and for little maria and marty to celebrate their first thanksgiving with their grandfather. And being a single mother --
Tabitha: I wanted endora to experience even for a few precious moments what it feels like to be part of a real family. I did it for the children. You're my darling. Can't you put your differences aside just for one day for the little ones?
Pilar: All right, for the children.
Luis: Sure, fine, whatever you want.
Simone: Will all these turkeys be eating with us, too?
Luis: Where the hell did you get these turkeys, anyway?
Tabitha: I ordered my bird online. There must have been some sort of computer error. I don't know.
Pilar: Maria, ven.
Ven con abuela, ven. Oh, grandma loves you so much. Yes, she does.
Beth: Pilar, you haven't said hello to your other grandchild, luis' son.
Pilar: Oh, yes, I did, outside. Hi, marty. Hi.
Beth: Say hi, grandma, hi, grandma. Good boy! Good boy!
Beth's voice: Sheridan and mrs. Wheeler were close, but it angered luis, so sheridan backed off. But I can see there's still a connection. What is it? And how do I use it to drive a wedge between luis and sheridan?
Tabitha: Well, sheridan and kay managed to stop the chaos for now, but there's so much potential for much more. Katherine's dying to tell sheridan that she's her mother. And that would draw them closer together, and, of course, it would infuriate luis. And I'll bet you beth would love to have that little piece of information so she could use it to tear luis and sheridan apart. And it's all pilar can do not to scratch katherine's eyes out for stealing her husband away. Hmm, and as for little paloma -- well, she's like a volcano waiting to erupt. Seems like we have all the ingredients for a hellacious holiday here, wouldn't you say?
Eve: No, please, whitney, honey, we have to do this. Yeah -- we have to know. It won't take long.
Whitney: What is this "we" business, mom? I mean, actually, this has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Eve: I'm your mother, whitney, and I'm chad's mother, and if there's the slightest chance --
whitney: Well, I've already told you, this is fox's baby.
Ivy: You can't know that without finding out how far along you are.
Chad: And if there's a slim chance the baby is mine, then your mother's right. We should know, and the sooner the better.
Whitney: But, chad, don't you understand? I'm telling you, fox is the father. I'm sorry.
Ivy: Then prove it. Have the exam.
Singer: You are my passion for life
tabitha: Now, if everyone will sit down -- you sit here, mrs. Wheeler and martin sit at the head of the table -- and then dinner will be served shortly.
Luis: It's already here.
Katherine: I can't bear it that sheridan thinks that I took you away from pilar and your family. I mean, if she only knew that you were trying to protect me, if she knew that alistair was beating me and threatened to kill me --
martin: And if that became public knowledge, alistair would be furious. There's no telling what he might do.
Katherine: I know, but if you see that look of betrayal in her eyes, how I've hurt her -- all I want to do is just blurt out the truth.
Martin: Katherine, you can't do that.
Katherine: I know.
Martin: You have to stay away from her, as hard as it is.
Tabitha: Well, come along, now. Come along, sheridan. You sit here.
Sheridan: I don't think so.
Tabitha: And, luis, you sit next to her. And, pilar, sit next to martin. And if simone and paloma will give me a hand, we will serve dinner. Will you sit down, dear? Thanks.
Beth: It's ok, marty. Everybody stopped fighting. It's ok now. It's all over.
Sheridan: Hey, beth, why don't you let me hold him for a little bit?
Beth: No, I'll be able to get him to stop fussing.
Luis: Maybe sheridan should hold him.
Luis: She's always been good with marty.
Beth: Ok, honey.
Sheridan: Baby, hi, hi.
Sheridan: Yes, yeah.
Katherine: Isn't it amazing how the baby just quiets down when sheridan holds him?
Luis: Yeah. Sheridan would make a great mother.
Martin: Yeah. Hey, little martin, I'm your grandpa. You're named after me.
Luis: We're changing his name.
Sheridan: Luis, please stop.
Katherine: You know, he looks remarkably like you did at his age, sheridan.
Sheridan: You knew me when I was a baby?
Katherine: Well, yes, I told you that I knew your mother. Excuse me. I need some water.
Sheridan: What is your story, mrs. Wheeler?
Beth's voice: Oh, don't worry. I'll find out.
Beth: Kay, why don't you let mr. Fitzgerald hold his granddaughter?
Martin: I'd like that.
Kay: Say hi to your grandfather.
Martin: Oh. Hello, my beautiful baby girl. Oh. Huh? Jeez, I can't believe that miguel has his own child. I mean, the last time I saw him, he --
pilar: Was just a child himself.
Pilar: And now we're grandparents, you and I, martin.
Martin: Yes, we are.
Tabitha: Whew. Paloma, will you please put endora down, and then I'll bring out the turkey.
Paloma: Which one?
Tabitha: Oh, I can't wait to get out there and see what more trouble I can stir up. Oh, enough already! How many more turkeys is endora going to conjure up tonight? Oh, endora, oh, you naughty girl. She must have put another growth spurt on that turkey. Oh, my death! How am I going to explain this to our guests?
Rebecca: See? I told you she was up to something.
Theresa: Just shut up, rebecca, and let me explain.
Rebecca: Why not? Let's hear your latest lie.
Theresa: I want gwen to go to the mansion for me to get me some undergarments.
Theresa: Yes. I thought it would be more appropriate for gwen to get them for me than ethan.
Gwen: No, you're right. I would rather not have my husband kind of searching around in your intimate apparels.
Rebecca: Mm-hmm, yeah, he's already done enough of that in the past.
Gwen: Ok. I will actually -- I'll go now.
Ethan: You know what? I'll -- I'll drive you. How about that?
Gwen: Sweetheart, thank you, but I would rather you stay here in case there's any more complications with the baby. But you are going to come with me.
Rebecca: What, and leave these two alone together? Are you crazy?
Gwen: No, but you are driving theresa crazy, and she's supposed to stay calm, so let's go. I will be right back.
Rebecca: Oh, we have to talk, my poor, gullible gwen.
Ethan: Anyway, look, why don't you call pilar, tell your mom what's happening, theresa?
Theresa: No, no. Mama has been through enough lately. It's ok. I'm just glad rebecca's gone, because she kind of drives me crazy, you know?
Ethan: Yeah. Well, you know, she has reason to be a little suspicious, theresa. I mean, we are keeping a secret from gwen, aren't we?
Theresa: We slept together. And the baby I'm carrying is yours and mine.
Ethan: Or it's mine and gwen'S.
Theresa: It's ours, ethan.
Ethan: Look, I -- I don't even want to get into it. I think you should rest for your sake and for the baby'S.
Theresa: Ok. But I would like some herbal tea, if you don't mind.
Ethan: I don't mind. I'll get it for you.
Theresa: Hi. Dining room? This is room 350. I was wondering if you could send up thanksgiving dinner? For two. Thanks. That would be for me and the father of my child and my future husband.
Whitney: I'm not hiding anything, ivy.
Ivy: Then have the exam and prove that fox is the father.
Whitney: Yeah, but why should I prove anything?
Fox: Could I talk to you alone for a second, whitney?
Chad: Alone? Why? What are you keeping from us?
Fox: What am I keeping from -- nothing.
Whitney: What did you want to talk about, fox?
Fox: I just wanted you to know that I believe you and if you s the baby's mine, then that's good enough for me.
Whitney: Well, then, that's what I'm telling you. The baby's yours, and I don't need some exam to tell me that.
Fox: Ok. Ok, we still need to, you know, find out if you and the baby are ok, right?
Whitney: Well, yeah, yeah. Why don't I call an ob-gyn first thing in the morning?
Fox: Yeah, ok, no, we'll do that, but, you know, tonight why don't you just let your mom run a few tests.
Whitney: I don't want my mom touching me. Fox, come on, you know how I feel about this.
Fox: No, I know, I know, I understand, but I think the sooner we can prove to chad and my mom that the baby's mine, you know, they won't be so suspicious, they'll let us move on. It'll make our lives a lot easier, I promise.
Tabitha: Oh. I have got to stop that turkey growing right now! Time was I could zap it myself, but -- oh. Hey -- hey, come back here, you turkey! Oh, endora is incorrigible -- just like her mother. Truth be told, I'm so proud of her, my little witchling. But please, no more turkeys!
Beth: Oh, my gosh, they were so worn out.
Kay: Yeah, well, thank goodness they finally went to sleep.
Martin: What -- what the hell was that, tabitha?
Tabitha: What was what?
Luis: That bird. The thing look liked it was on steroids.
Tabitha: Yes, steroids -- that must be it. This is positively the last time that I am ordering anything online. But this one looks pretty normal, doesn't it? So, who's hungry? Huh?
Luis: Mama, why don't you say a thanksgiving prayer?
Paloma: Is the baby all right? She sounds like she's in pain.
Tabitha: Oh, just -- it's just a little gas.
Tabitha's voice: People praying always upsets my tummy, too, darling.
Pilar: Thank you, heavenly father, for this bountiful feast. Thank you for my children and my grandchildren and all the people that I love. Especially I want to thank you for bringing my precious paloma home to us again. And thank you, father, for bringing my hus-- for bringing martin home safe and alive. For this and all our blessings, we thank you. Amen.
Martin: Amen. Luis, why don't you do the rving.
Luis: No, you do it. You're so od at tearing things apart.
Sheridan: Luis --
tabitha: Hmm. Isn't this nice, all of us together, like one big happy family.
Luis: Mama, you all right?
Pilar: Yeah. This is the dinner I've always prayed for -- my children and my grandchildren and your father, together at last. But it's nothing like I thought it would be, nothing at all.
Fox: Just let your mom do the exam. It'll make our lives a whole lot easier.
Whitney's voice: No, it won'T. But if I refuse, fox will start to get suspicious.
Whitney: All right.
Fox: Yeah? Ok, good. This is for the best, ok?
Ivy: Well, what have you decided?
Whitney: I'll have the exam tonight.
Ivy: Good, good, then we'll know exactly where we stand.
Chad: You're doing the right thing, whitney.
Eve: So, honey, why don't you just come here with me and -- it won't -- it won't ta long.
Ivy: This test will tell us the truth about how long whitney's been pregnant, and -- and then we'll know who the father is.
Fox: Yeah, I already know the truth, mom. It's my baby.
Ivy's voice: Don't count on it, fox. I have a feeling whitney's hiding something. And when the truth comes out, I'm afraid you are the one who's going to be hurt.
[Knock on door]
Orderly: Dinner's here.
Ethan: Good timing.
Theresa: Thank you.
Ethan: Whoa. You ordered all this? Let me get this thing. Looks like you got -- what is this? What is this, thanksgiving dinner? Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy -- the whole thing. What do you know. You got enough for two. How's that?
Theresa: I don't know.
Ethan: Yeah. Are you sure about that?
Theresa: Look, we don't have to send it back. You can stay and you can eat it, right? We can celebrate thanksgiving dinner together -- you, me, and our baby.
Ethan: Look, theresa, come on. I've told you over and over again, don't say "our baby." You know it could very well be mine and gwen'S.
Theresa: It is ours, ethan. It's fate --
ethan: Don't -- don't say "fate." Don't even say "fate" again. Ok? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because you signed papers, the baby's going to be mine and gwen's no matter what. I mean, do you understand that?
Theresa: Uh-uh. And it's our baby, yours and mine. It's ours.
Whitney: Ok, what are you doing?
Eve: Well, I'm going to give you a blood test so that we can see that you're pregnant.
Whitney: Mom, I'm pregnant. I took a home pregnancy test. It was positive.
Eve: Yes, honey, but you could have made a mistake.
Whitney: I didn't make a mistake. I did it three times. I'm pregnant. There's no need for this.
Eve: You know, how could you be so careless? Didn't you use any birth control?
Whitney: Do you really think I want to hear that right now? I mean, really.
Eve: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ok, honey, you're just going to feel a little prick.
Whitney: I've changed my mind.
Eve: Why? What is it?
Whitney: I've changed my mind. There's no reason for you to take the test. I'm not going to do it.
Katherine: Martin, you have sacrificed so much to be with me. I really think I need to go away by myself. You need to be with your children and your grandchildren.
Martin: No, my love. We both made the same sacrifices. Now, once we leave, you'll be separated from your children, too. Hey, we'll get through this together.
Katherine: He is a beautiful baby, isn't he?
Sheridan: Yes, he is. All these babies are so lucky to have their mothers. I wish I had mine when I was growing up.
Beth: So, mrs. Wheeler. Tell me something about yourself.
Martin: Hey, is it my imagination or is that turkey getting even bigger?
Tabitha: Like you said, it must be steroids.
Martin: Well, they must be super-fast-acting ones.
Tabitha: Practically magical. Oh, my devil -- it's going to run right through the --
Tabitha: Kitchen door.
Simone: What was that crash?
Tabitha: Must have been my souffle falling.
Paloma: This is a very odd house, isn't it?
Kay: You have no idea.
Beth: So, mrs. Wheeler --
Beth: Where did you say you were from?
Beth: Oh. Ok. So you went to harmony high?
Katherine: No, no, I went to boarding school.
Beth: Oh, really? Which one?
Katherine: The one that --
martin: You know what, beth? I need to talk to ellen about something, you know, in private -- if you don't mind.
Beth: Oh, of course.
Katherine: Excuse us.
Martin: You know, I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone about your past.
Katherine: Yeah. I wasn't thinking. But, you know, can't lie to her. I told sheridan that I knew her mother. And besides, I think she seems like a nice enough girl without an ulterior motive.
Beth's voice I'm going to tear luis away from you, sheridan, with mrs. Wheeler's help. You just wait and see.
Ethan: Theresa, listen to me. Please get out of this fantasy thing. We are not getting back together. We're just not.
Theresa: Ok, let's not talk about it anymore, ok? What happens in the future is going to happen. Can we just enjoy this fabulous thanksgiving dinner?
Ethan: You know what? Yes, that'd be a good idea, because I don't want you getting worked up, I don't want you getting stressed out.
Theresa: Hey, I'm perfectly calm. Ok. Now, see this? This is pumpkin pie. This is your favorite. Let's have it right now.
Ethan: No, no, you can'T. You haven't even started your dinner. You can't have the pie first.
Theresa: No, no, we're going to do this dinner thing backwards. We're going to have dessert first. Here you go.
Ethan: No, no, no. I am eating this first. I can wait on the pie.
Theresa: No, you can't wait. No, no, no, no, listen -- I'm pregnant, remember? I could eat this entire plate and this plate before you can say "pass the stuffing."
[Theresa imitates train engine]
Ethan: Ok, ok. Give me the pie.
Theresa: There you go.
Ethan: All right.
Theresa: Very good.
Rebecca: We never should have left them alone in there.
Gwen: Oh --
rebecca: You know what? There is just no telling what she might try to pull to just draw him into her web.
Gwen: Mother, we have only been gone for 20 minutes. How far into her web could he have gone?
Rebecca: How far, indeed.
Tabitha: Time to stir the pot. So, martin, how does it feel to be back in harmony? You look pretty good for a dead man.
Luis: Yeah, we should be so lucky.
Sheridan: Luis --
tabitha: Well, that's what everyone assumed, anyway -- that you were dead. I mean, it never occurred to anyone that martin fitzgerald, loyal husband, devoted father, would up and leave his adoring wife and five darling children. I mean -- and paloma was a baby in arms at the time, wasn't she?
Luis: Yeah. Well, that's exactly what he did.
Sheridan: Hey, why don't we talk about something else?
Tabitha: Oh. Well, of course. How insensitive of me. I do apologize, pilar. But you must have been absolutely devastated and humiliated when you found out that your husband was still alive all these years and married to someone else.
Sheridan: Tabitha, please.
Tabitha: Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Change the subject. Oh. So, ellie, dear, how did you and martin meet? Did you know he was a married man?
Pilar: Of course she knew. But she didn't care. She's a whore.
Paloma: Don't say that.
Kay: Tabitha --
tabitha: Oh. I'm sorry. I do apologize. I've been watching too many of those "larry winger" shows. All those mixed-up extended families and unwed mothers. Of course, I should talk. I'm an unwed mother myself. And I love my little endora, but she is quite a handful sometimes. I just can't imagine how stressful it must have been for you raising those five children alone after your husband ran off with another woman.
Martin: I didn't leave because of mrs. Wheeler, tabitha.
Pilar: Then why did you leave, martin?
Luis: Yeah, martin. See, that there -- that's a gooquestion. Why did you leave us?
Martin: Please, if you knew my reasons, you'd understand.
Luis: No, I understand you're nothing but a low-life bastard.
Katherine: Luis, don't call your father names.
Pilar: Shut up. Don't talk to my son.
Sheridan: Please, everybody, just stop this.
Martin: I don't want to fight with you, son.
Luis: Don't call me son.
Fox: Chad, just get the hell out of here, man.
Chad: Don't tell me what to do.
Fox: No, I will tell you what to do every time.
Ivy: Ok, that's enough! Enough! And, you -- stop arguing with chad. Nothing can be settled until we know whose baby whitney is carrying.
Fox: Yeah, well, I already know it's mine.
Ivy: Well, I'm not so convinced. Look, whitney looked really scared, and she didn't want to have the exam. I think something is going on, fox.
Whitney: I'm telling you, I don't need a blood test.
Eve: All right, honey, why not?
Whitney: Well, I already told you, I know for a fact that I'm pregnant.
Eve: Well, yes, but you don't know for sure who the baby's father is, and this test will help determine that.
Whitney: I don't need any blood tests. I don't need any exam to tell me who the father of my baby is -- because I already know who the father is. And it isn't fox.
Eve: Oh -- oh, no.
Whitney: It's chad'S. My half brother's the father of my baby.
Eve: Oh, my god.
Whitney: Are you happy now, mom? Because you kept your son a secret, my life is ruined, and so is the li of your future grandchild.
Beth: Who is she, really? Well, I am going to find out the answers. Then I'm going to get luis.
Ivy: You created this mess by keeping your past a secret. And now your little secret is going to blow up in all of our faces.
Whitney: Don't touch me! This is all your fault anyway.
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