Passions Transcript Wednesday 11/24/04 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Wednesday 11/24/04

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by Boo

tabitha: Come along, my darling little demonette. It's time to decorate for the big holiday. Concentrate now, endora.

Uno,

dos, tres! Oh, sweetheart! Oh, sweetheart. Halloween is my favorite holiday, too, but that was last month, endora. No, you've got to try again. All right? Think thanksgiving. Think thanksgiving. Oh! Good girl! Bravo! You're on a roll. That jack-o-lantern was just waiting to be carved out of that. Keep at it, keep at it. You're on a roll, girl. Oh! Oh, brilliant! Brilliant, endora! Now, what's missing? Oh, I know. What would thanksgiving be without those dreary pilgrims and their native american friends, huh?

Pilgrim: It's the witch.

Second pilgrim: It's the witch!

Third pilgrim: Burn the witch!

All: Burn the witch!

Tabitha: Oh, no! No, endora! No, not live ones! If they catch us, we'll be burned to a crisp at the stake!

Pilgrim: Burn the witch!

Second pilgrim: Burn the witch! Burn the witch!

Tabitha: Oh. Oh. Oh, thank you, endora. Perfect. You know, I've always hated thanksgiving, ever since I attended the very first one, endora. Burnt turkey, no booze, and hymns, hymns, hymns till the cows come home, literally. Not my idea of a bang-up party. But now for the first time, I really feel like celebrating thanksgiving. Well, we have so much to be thankful for. First, I have you, my evil little witchling.

[Tabitha sighs]

Tabitha: When my timmy died, I felt dead. And then you came along and you brought so much joy into my life, endora. And we have achieved so much mischief in a very short time, haven't we? We broke up those true lovers, charity and miguel. And -- oh. And she left town, and that saved our bacon. And that poor sap miguel is still out there searching for her, but no luck as yet. Now, shall we see what fun is going on next door at the bennett house? Hmm. Whitney's pregnant with her half brother chad's baby and trying to pass it off as fox'S. Most entertaining.

Ivy: Whitney, I am surprised at you. You're the daughter of a doctor, and you haven't been examined yet? You know that prenatal care is essential. We have to get you to the hospital tonight, and then the doctor can tell us how long you have been pregnant and we will know for sure who the father is -- my son fox or your half brother chad.

Tabitha: Whitney's playing "who's the daddy?" Of course, that's not fooling our ivy because she pulled the same trick with her own son, ethan. Speaking of ethan, what is going on with this menage a trois of his? And, of course, theresa is playing another game. She's playing "who's the baby?"

Ethan: Can I get some help here, please?

Tabitha: Theresa made herself a surrogate mother for gwen and ethan, and, yes, she is pregnant with ethan's baby, but no one really knows who the mother is. Is it theresa or is it gwen? Our ethan's been a busy boy. Oh, I pity poor theresa if gwen finds out that he slept with her. Oh!

Eve: What happened?

Ethan: Dr. Russell, she's having cramps. She fainted. I don't know.

Gwen: She's bleeding.

Eve: It's a good thing you brought her right in.

Rebecca: Well, what?

Gwen: Mother, if it wasn't for you, we would have been here an hour ago. You said she was faking!

Rebecca: Well, she probably still is faking. I mean, that little witch could give meryl streep acting lessons.

Gwen: Mother, we saw the blood, ok? God, dr. Russell, please tell me, is my baby going to be ok?

Tabitha: Oh, dear. Oh, I hope the little nipper's going to be all right. Oh, we never wish ill on the unborn, do we, endora? That's just not cricket. Well, we just have to hope for the best.

Endora: Uh-oh.

Tabitha: "Uh-oh." Thank you. Shall we tune in to daddy's mansion, huh, and see what's going on up there? There's always a lot of pain and suffering. That'll bring a smile to your little face, won't it? Thank you. Pilar just found out that mr. And mrs. Wheeler are really her sainted husband, martin, and the jezebel he ran off with years ago. Hmm, the news is all over town, and pilar is not a happy camper. And luis is a little bit angry about it, too.

Sheridan: Luis, you have got to calm down.

Luis: "Calm down"? That sleazeball who calls himself my father ruined my mother's life, ruined all of our lives! I'll tell you something, the next time I see that man, I'm going to kill him.

Tabitha: Oh, goody. Let's hope so. Now, where are mr. And mrs. Wheeler? Oh, yes, that's right. They moved into the bennett family's bed-and-breakfast.

Katherine: Oh, sheridan hates me now. And I can't tell her I'm her mother. I can't tell her I'm katherine crane. It puts her in danger with alistair and it could destroy her relationship with luis.

Tabitha: M. Oh, endora, imagine the fireworks if those two couples were in the same room together. Oh, you like that idea, do you? How would you like to see sheridan and luis, martin and katherine, and pilar and that angry little paloma all sitting around the same thanksgiving table together?

Endora: Da!

Tabitha: I'll take that as a yes.

Endora: Da-da.

Tabitha: Oh, endora! When our guests arrive, this house will be filled with hatred, pain, and sufferg, just like so many other family thanksgivings all across the country. Oh, put on your seatbelt, endora. We are going to host a very bumpy dinner. A thanksgiving from hell.

Singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and i would fly on the wings of the bird I knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life (female announcer) women have the talentto play multiple roles.

gwen: Ethan, theresa can't -- we can't lose our baby.

Ethan: It's all right.

Rebecca: What, am I the only one around here who can see through theresa's lies? I mean, such drama. She probably pricked her own finger to get the blood.

Gwen: Mother, stop it!

Ethan: Damn it, rebecca. You know, if it weren't for you trying to convince us that she was faking those cramps, we would've gotten here a lot sooner. If anything happens to theresa or our baby, I won't forgive you, you understand?

Rebecca: Well -- well, wait, that's what theresa said.

Ethan: What?

Rebecca: "Our baby," and -- and that's what you said before theresa had the procedure. What -- ethan, what is going on there? Have you forgotten to tell us something?

Ethan: No, what -- what do you mean?

Rebecca: Ethan, what the hell is going on between you and theresa? I mean, that is your child she's carrying, isn't it, your baby with gwen?

Ivy: What is the problem? Don't you want to have the best possible care for your baby?

Whitney: Of course I do, ivy.

Ivy: Well, and you do want to know who the real father is, don't you?

Whitney: Well, I already know who the real father of my baby is. It's fox. And I -- and I can prove it.

Ivy: How?

Whitney: Well, after the last time chad and I were together, I had my period.

Ivy: Whitney, honey, you can be pregnant and still have your period.

Fox: Ok, you know what, mom? That's enough, all right? Whitney says the baby's mine. We're done. The baby's mine, ok?

Chad: Yeah, you couldn't wait to move in on her, could you?

Whitney: Chad, please --

chad: You took advantage of her when she was vulnerable and confused.

Fox: Ok, that's not what happened. I love her.

Chad: Yeah, you loved her long enough to knock her up in two seconds flat. You know, you are unbelievable. All the woman you've slept with, and you don't use a condom. Who is that dumb nowadays, anyway? And how could you put whitney at risk like that?

Fox: Ahem. I didn't put whitney at risk, chad. We used a condom every time, if you must know.

Chad: Oh, really? Obviously not.

Fox: It was one time, the first time! We got carried away. What -- I don't have to explain myself to you!

Chad: You wouldn't have let it happen if you loved whitney! You'd have put her first and not your own selfish needs!

Whitney: The both of you please stop it right now.

Chad: You don't care about whitney. You care about one thing.

Ivy: Ok, enough, chad.

Chad: But I do care about whitney. No matter who the father is, I'm going to be there for whitney and the baby.

Fox: Like hell you're going to be there for her!

Whitney: Ok, the arguing -- please stop it!

Fox: Good job.

Chad: Hey, you, too, man.

Ivy: Enough. This stress isn't good for whitney or the baby. That's why we need to get you to a hospital now.

Whitney: No! I am not going to the hospital, ivy.

Ivy: You need to be examined.

Whitney: No, no one is going to examine me.

Tabitha: Oh, endora! Oh, this could be such fun! Oh, that nasty beth is dying to come between luis and sheridan. Oh, endora, you are such a clever little demon. It's so much easier for me to visualize my table with these instead of those silly place cards.

[Doorbell rings]

Tabitha: Oh. Oh, that must be paloma already. Quick, endora, get rid of all these.

[Endora babbles]

Tabitha: Oh, bloody hell, we're not dressed! Quickly, endora, think -- think harvest colors.

Endora: Oh.

Tabitha: Oh! Oh, perfect! Oh, my darling, you've inherited my fashion sense. And you look lovely, too. Let's just cover up the wee bowl.

Tabitha: Oh, paloma, welcome! Come in, come in, dear!

Paloma: Gracias. I got your message. Thank you for inviting me to dinner. I have no other place to go. Things with my family are a little crazy right now.

Tabitha: Oh, I heard. What a shame. And your family always goes all-out on thanksgiving, too, don't they -- all that food and drink and sing-songs and laughter and inviting the whole town?

Paloma: I wouldn't know. This is my first thanksgiving.

Tabitha: Oh. Oh, yes, paloma. I'm sorry, I forgot. Oh, yes, they never included you, did they? Well, you forget all your troubles and just relax and have a good time.

Mi casa es su casa.

Paloma: Gracias. Is there anything I can do to help?

Tabitha: Oh, what a dear you are to ask. As a matter of fact, there's a whole load of vegetables in the kitchen that need chopping.

Paloma: Oh. Ok.

Tabitha: Come on, then. There she is.

Paloma: Oh, she's so cute.

Tabitha: Chop, chop!

Tabitha: Oh, endora, everything's going just fine. Now, we have a few phone calls to make, and then the thanksgiving from hell can begin.

Beth: I knew it. Mrs. Wheeler is definitely the key to tearing luis and sheridan apart. Every time I'd badmouth her, luis got angrier, sheridan got quieter. She's just itching to stand up for that woman. Luis is going to hit the roof. God, he hates her.

[Phone rings]

Beth: Oh. Hello?

Tabitha: Oh, hello, beth. It's tabitha lenox here.

Beth: Oh, hi, tabitha.

Tabitha: I know it's really last-minute, but I wondered if you and your dear mother would like to join me for thanksgiving dinner.

Beth: You know what, we always do our own big turkey here with the --

tabitha: Oh, what a shame. Luis and sheridan are going to be here.

Beth: Oh, really? Hmm. You know what? I don't think my mother and precious can make it, but marty and I could probably do -- yeah, we wou, love to come.

Tabitha: Ah, excellent. See you then.

Beth: Ok, bye. Mother! Get your walker ready! You and precious are going to the community center for frozen turkey dinners with the homeless. Marty and I are going out.

Tabitha: I knew that wicked girl wouldn't be able to resist. Now, how about a preview of coming attractions, hmm?

Endora: Wow!

Pilar: Paloma, I had no choice.

Paloma: Que clase de madre

manda su hija al extranjero? I have no use for you.

Pilar: That whore, tramp.

Paloma: Mrs. Wheeler is my real mother. You are nothing to me! Nothing!

Katherine: Oh, pilar, I wish -- I wish I could tell you the truth. I wish you could understand.

Sheridan: How could you just walk out on your children?

Luis: How dare you come back into town with that tramp.

Martin: You have no right to judge me. You have no idea what it was like when I was forced to leave harmony.

Paloma: I have no use for you.

Beth: All that money and not an ounce of brains.

[All talking]

Tabitha: Yeah, turkey's not the only thing that's going to be carved up here today, endora.

Endora: Uh-oh.

Tabitha: These mortals are going to rip each other to pieces, you'll see. There's nothing like family at thanksgiving.

Ivy: You don't want to be examined?

Whitney: No. No, I don't,ecause I know that my baby is fine, and I know that fox is the father.

Fox: That's good, but we should probably still see a doctor, you know?

Whitney: Well, of course I will, honey. I mean, as soon as I find one I like, I will.

Chad: Fox, why don't you just back off, all right? She doesn't want to go the doctor tonight, she doesn't have to.

Fox: Shut up, chad.

Whitney: You know, why don't all of you guys just leave me alone? How about that?

Ivy: Ok, look, you happy now? You've upset her. Pregnancy does that. And the further along you are, the more upset you become.

Fox: Ahem. Whitney, hey --

whitney: What?

Fox: Why don't we just go to the hospital tonight, huh? We'll get the exam, we can prove to my mom and prove to chad that the baby's ours. They'll leave us alone. Just, you know, for the baby's sake, let's get the exam tonight, huh?

Ethan: Theresa's carrying gwen's and my baby, your grandchild, ok? You're just making everyone nuts. You're making me crazy. Can you please for once just stop upsetting everyone?

Rebecca: You know, don't snap at me! The one you should be mad at --

ethan: No, you know, I'm sorry, I don't want to hear it. I'm getting something to drink. Would you like something?

Gwen: I'll be there in a bit.

Rebecca: Gwen, something is really going on here. I mean, did you see how angry he gets? I mean, he gets so angry at the mere mentioning of the simple fact that theresa is a lying, manipulative --

gwen: Mother, you need to just put a sock in it, ok, because he's right, we would have rushed theresa here right away if it wasn't for you and your big mouth convincing us all she was faking those cramps. You'd better pray to god that nothing happens to my baby or I will never, ever forgive you.

Theresa: Dr. Russell, please -- help me, please. Ugh!

Nurse: Will she and the baby be ok?

Eve: I can't find the baby's heartbeat.

Theresa: What? Please, dr. Russell, don't tell me that I've lost my baby, please? Please don't --

[All talking]

Tabitha: Oh, endora. Oh, I haven't laughed so much since the black plague. But there's work to be done, darling, phone calls to be made. Ah, thank you. Now, as all our guests hate each other's guts, we have to make sure that no one knows who else is coming until they all arrive at our front door together. Oh, time's a-wasting. Oh, endora, help mommy get these phone calls out of the way.

[Endora babbles]

Tabitha: Yeah. Oh, perfect.

Tabitha: One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingies.

All: Hello?

Tabitha: Hello? Oh, hello, this is tabitha lenox here. Yes, I'm calling you to invite you to a lovely thanksgiving dinner at my house.

Pilar: Dinner? I don't know.

Luis: Thank you, but I don't think so.

Martin: Thank you very much, but I don't think so.

Tabitha: Well, paloma's already here.

Pilar: My paloma will be there?

Luis: Paloma's first thanksgiving.

Martin: Paloma will be there?

Tabitha: And marty's coming. Little marty's coming with beth.

Pilar: My grandson marty will be there, too?

Luis: Marty's coming.

Martin: I can see my grandson, little martin.

Tabitha: Yes, we're going to have all the trimmings, lots of turkey and stuffing.

Pilar: Well, all right, I'd love to come.

Luis: We'd love to.

Martin: We'd love to.

Tabitha: Oh, that's lovely. Well, I'm so glad. Well, we'll see you then.

All: Who else will be there?

Tabitha: Tootle-ooh! Oh, endora. Oh, we make quite a team.

Paloma: Tabitha, is this all right?

Tabitha: Oh, quickly, paloma's coming. Zap this out of the way.

[Endora babbles]

Tabitha: Oh, oh, that's beautiful, dear. Put it right down here in the foyer.

Paloma: Ahem. Tabitha, doesn't everyone in the states have turkey for thanksgiving?

Tabitha: Yes, yes, that is the tradition.

Paloma: Well, I didn't see one in the kitchen. There's barely any food at all. What are we having for dinner?

Tabitha: Well, don't you worry your pretty little head about that, dear. I have a sensational dinner planned -- one you will never forget. Oops.

Singer you are my passion for life

luis: Listen, mama, tabitha just called and she invited sheridan and me to thanksgiving dinner. You want to come?

Pilar: I don't know. I think I should stay, mijo.

Luis: Paloma's going to be there. She's never had a thanksgiving with us.

Pilar: I know, and I do want to talk to her, I do want to see her, but she -- she doesn't want to see me.

Luis: Of course she does, mama.

Sheridan: Let me talk to her. Hey, pilar, it's sheridan. Look, please come. You know, tabitha's sweet, and, like luis said, paloma's going to be there.

Pilar: I know, but why did she invite paloma? How does she even know her?

Sheridan: Well, I'm sure that kay probably invited her. I mean, I'm sure she figured you two would want to spend thanksgiving together -- which you should. And, you know, despite everything that paloma says, I know that she loves you.

Pilar: I know. I know she does. I love her, too. If only I could make her believe that.

Sheridan: Well, here's your chance.

Pilar: All right. All right, I'll go.

Sheridan: Great. We'll pick you up in a few minutes, ok? And you will be so happy that you did this.

Martin: Are you sure you want to do this? Tabitha's always been a strange one.

Katherine: Well, alistair never liked her very much, so she must have some good qualities.

Martin: Yeah.

Katherine: You know, paloma's there, and she's so unhappy right now. And the three of us were a family for so long. I think we can make this a very special day for her.

Martin: Yeah, you're right, as usual, hmm?

Tabitha: Oh, endora, it's like watching a nuclear bomb being assembled. All the parts are coming together, and when they arrive on our front doorstep -- kaboom!

Tabitha: Well, what the heck is that?

Endora: Uh-oh.

Tabitha: Really? Oh, you are a naughty little demon. Well, do you mean like what happened last year at thanksgiving in that little town in the midwest -- salem, I believe? Well, what's in that monstrosity?

[Endora babbles]

Tabitha: Oh. So it's a secret for me, too, hmm? Well, it appears our guests are going to get even more than I bargained for.

Gwen: Dr. Russell, what is it? Is my baby ok?

Rebecca: Oh, no, it's bad, isn't it? I mean, listen, if it comes to a choice of, you know, letting the mother live or letting the child live, well, then you'll let the child live, for god's sake?

Ethan: Rebecca, stop, all right? Is theresa ok? Is the baby all right?

An hour late,it's your brother's

Gwen: Please, dr. Russell, is my baby ok?

Eve: Yes. Yeah, she's fine.

Gwen: Yeah?

Eve: For a moment, I couldn't find a heartbeat, but it was just an equipment malfunction. Theresa is fine, as well. The bleeding stopped. I don't think it was serious, and the baby's in no danger.

Gwen: Oh, good.

Ethan: That's good.

Eve: Well, I don't know why she's having cramps, so I'm going to admit her for observatioand we're going to move her upstairs.

Ethan: All right.

Gwen: Ok.

Ethan: Look, I'm going to go check in on theresa. I'm going to make sure she's ok, all right?

Gwen: Ok.

Rebecca: Well. Interesting, isn't it, how theresa has managed to be alone with ethan yet again?

Gwen: Enough, mother. Enough.

Rebecca: Well, what is wrong with everyone tonight?

Theresa: You saved our baby. You saved our little girl.

Ethan: Theresa, you need to stop saying "our."

Ivy: Ok, well, this shouldn't take too long. We just need to find the ob-gyn on call tonight.

Eve: Hi. What is it? What's wrong? Why are you here?

Ivy: It's -- it's whitney. She has a medical condition. Maybe you can help us, eve.

Tabitha: Now, come along, endora. Let's hope you're a better cook than your mother. We need a traditional thanksgiving feast -- stuffing, mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce -- the works. Oh! Yummy, yummy! Oh, that looks good, yes! Well done! And now for the turkey, huh? What does that cute emeril say, huh? Huh? What does he say? Bam! Oh, endora! That looks delicious. Oh, well, one's enough, endora. One. Oh, well, I suppose fluffy can eat the leftovers, right? Oh! Endora, endora, that is -- that's enough! Enough is enough. We don't -- oh! Oh, endora. If our guests see these birds, our goose will be cooked.

[Doorbell rings]

Tabitha: Oh, too late.

Paloma: Ay, dios,

pero que monstruo es ese?

[Ring]

Paloma: Tia! Papa!

Katherine: Hi, darling!

Martin: Hiya, sweetheart!

Paloma: I'm so glad to see you! Let me get your things.

Martin: All right. Here you go. Where's that tabitha?

Paloma: In the kitchen.

Martin: Yeah?

Katherine: Oh, what is that?

Martin: Hell if I know. A turkey, I think. A really creepy-looking turkey.

Tabitha: Go on, go on! Get! Shoo, shoo, shoo!

[Doorbell rings]

Tabitha: Oh, hell's bells! It's the doorbell again. Endora, get rid of these turkeys. We're going to miss the fireworks!

Eve: What do you mean, "a medical condition"? What medical condition do you have, honey?

Ivy: It's nothing to worry about, eve.

Eve: If my daughter comes to the E.R., I'm worried. What is it, sweetheart?

Whitney: Mother, mother, please. She's not the doctor that I want to examine me, ok?

Eve: Ok. Ok, will someone please tell me what's wrong with whitney?

Fox: There's nothing wrong with her, doctor.

Ivy: It's just a condition women have had to bear since the beginning of time.

Eve: What? Oh, god, you don't mean --

ivy: Yes, eve. Whitney's pregnant.

Tabitha: Oh, oh, endora, you little demon. Get rid of these birds at once! The turkeys we want to watch are in the living room.

Endora: Ooh!

Tabitha: Good girl, endora. Make it disappear. Yeah. Oh, fungi!

[Doorbell rings]

Tabitha: Oh. It's the doorbell again. We'll have to take care of these gobblers later. Come on. We're going or we're going to miss the fireworks in the living room. Come on, baby, let's go! Oh, endora, fire, fire. Endora. Oh, thank you. Perfect. You go down here for a minute. Whee!

Pilar: Martin.

Martin: Luis. Pilar.

Luis: What the hell are you doing here?

Martin: Tabitha invited us.

Luis: We're not staying here with him and his slut.

Martin: Don't call her that.

Katherine: Martin, don'T.

Luis: Come on, mama, let's go.

Paloma: Si, si, go, go.

Beth: Everybody, come on, it's thanksgiving. Can't you put your feelings aside for one day, for marty's sake?

Pilar: I will not set a foot in this house with those two liars.

Luis: We're out of here.

Tabitha: Hello, hello! Welcome, everyone! Oh, look at all these happy, smiling faces. Come in, dear. You'll catch a devil of a cold out there. It's freezing. All of you, come in! Come along! Martin fitzgerald. After all these years. You haven't changed a bit.

Martin: Uh, hello, tabitha, and neither have you.

Tabitha: Oh. And you must be ellie wheeler. Oh, you remind me of someone, dear. Oh, well, it'll come to me later. Welcome. Welcome to you all. Isn't this nice, a lovely family reunion at thanksgiving?

Luis: Word sure travels fast, doesn't it? Listen, tabitha, I know you meant well, but there's just no way that we can stay. Sheridan, let's take mama home.

Paloma: Adios.

Tabitha: Luis, look, I heard about your little contretemps, but think of your sister paloma. This is her very first accion de gracias.

Luis: Yeah --

beth: Her what?

Tabitha: Spanish for "thanksgiving," dear.

Sheridan: You know what, she's right. I mean, this is a family holiday. Can't we just put our differences aside for a few hours, I mean, for paloma's sake?

Paloma: Oh, leave me out of it.

Sheridan: Ok. Pilar, this would be a great chance for you to, you know, get closer to paloma, talk to her.

Beth: And marty was so looking forward to spending thanksgiving with his daddy.

Tabitha: Oh, yes, please, all of you stay. I promise you a sensational evening.

Tabitha's voice: A thanksgiving from hell.

Eve: Whitney. You're -- you're pregnant?

Whitney: Just don't lecture me, mom, because I don't want to hear it.

Eve: No, no, honey, I -- uh, congratulations! So, fox, you're -- well, congratulations. So you're going to be the father of our first grandchild. So, what's wrong?

Ivy: Oh, well, eve, there's just no easy way to break this to you, so -- well, the father of whitney's baby could be your son, chad, her half brother.

Tabitha: All right, everyone give me their coats. I have created a traditional thanksgivingetting.

Pilar: Such unusual decorations, tabitha.

Tabitha: Yes. I always say there's no such thing as too much when it comes to the holidays, such a magical time.

Sheridan: What is that thing?

Tabitha: Well, that's a pinata, of course, in honor of paloma -- a touch of old mexico on this, the most american of holidays. Hands across the sea and all that.

Paloma: That's a pinata from a nightmare.

Luis: It's very kind of you, tabitha, but we don't usually have pinatas on thanksgiving, you know.

Pilar: But it's a very sweet thought just the same.

Gracias, tabitha.

Tabitha: De nada. Look at all the lovely veggies paloma chopped up for us. Everyone help yourself and go on through. Sit down, help yourself to the bar.

Tabitha: What's in that pinata, anyway, young lady? More mischief, no doubt, hmm?

Katherine: Is that her granddaughter?

Endora: Hi!

Martin: No, her daughter.

Tabitha: So, paloma, how do you like being in harmony so far? Not too homesick for sunny mexico, I hope, huh?

Paloma: Mm-hmm, harmony's all right, but I miss puerto arena. There were people who loved me there.

Luis: How about you, papa? You miss puerto arena? You miss breakfast in bed with your new wife?

Martin: That's enough, son. This isn't the time or the place.

Luis: Don't call me son, all right? You don't tell me anything.

Katherine: Luis, he is your father, and he loves you very much.

Pilar: Not another word from you to my son, you whore.

Paloma: Don't talk to her like that.

Tabitha: Anyone care for a radish?

Sheridan: Luis, please calm down for me.

Luis: Paloma, you don't talk back to your mother like that, ok?

Paloma: Ha. Some mother.

Pilar: How dare you come here to thanksgiving, a day for families. Home-wrecker.

Paloma: At least she gave me a home, which is more than you did.

Luis: That's enough, paloma!

Martin: You stay out of it, luis!

Luis: What, it wasn't enough that you had to cheat on your wife? Now you got to turn her own daughter against her mother, as well?

Martin: You don't know what the hell you're talking about!

Beth: Ok, both of you, enough!

Luis: You're right, I have had enough.

Sheridan: Oh, luis!

Martin: Luis, just take it easy! Calm down, luis!

Sheridan: Luis, stop! Please stop it! Luis! Stop it!

Beth: Stop it, luis!

Sheridan: Get off of him!

Tabitha: You know, endora, they say almost every family dinner ends in a battle.

Beth: Stop it, luis!

Tabitha: I guess they're right.

Sheridan: Get off of him!

Tabitha: Happy thanksgiving, darling.

Sheridan: Oh, my god!

Beth: Stop it, luis!

Gwen: How far into her web could he have gone?

Rebecca: How far, indeed.

Martin: What the hell was that, tabitha?

Tabitha: Well --

luis: That thing looked like it was on steroids!

Whitney: My half brother's the father of my baby.

Eve: Oh, my god. Eliminating child poverty.

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