Passions Transcript Friday 8/29/03

Passions Transcript Friday 8/22/03

by Eric

Gwen: I know how close you and theresa are, but everyone knows what a thorn in my side theresa has been since the minute she strutted her way into ethan's life.

Whitney: I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you.

Gwen: That would be the understatement of my life. I mean, whitney, it has taken my getting 3,000 miles away from theresa for me to even begin to feel secu in my relationship with ethan. Look, I am sure that you miss her so much, but I for one am glad that she is far away back in harmony and nowhere near me and ethan. What? Did I say something? Whitney, is there something you're not telling me?

Ethan: Theresa get involved with my half brother fox? Over my dead body, chad.

Theresa: Oh!

Luis: Well, you're going to have to wait until after dinner for your surprise, but I think you're going to appreciate the wait.

Beth: I just hope that your surprise is the only one I have to deal with when we get in the house. What if sheridan's still in labor? Maybe they brought her up to the living room so she could deliver the baby. No, this is too risky. Luis, wait.

Luis: You're not talking me out of taking care of you. Beth, come on, you've been neglected for too long, ok? Your baby's almost due, and you deserve to be spoiled. Now, as father of the baby, that'shat I intend to do.

Beth: No!

[Sheridan screams]

Mrs. Wallace: Don't just gawk at her. The poor thing is about to have a baby. Oh, it'll be a miracle if either one of them survives.

Charlie: The poor thing has ruined your daughter's life. She's nothing but a buxom, blonde bimbo in designer clothes who's gotten everything she always wanted. It's time for a reality sandwich for miss sheridan crane.

Mrs. Wallace: I always knew you were twisted, but to take out your sick rage on an innocent, unborn baby, a baby that beth is determined to raise as her own with you.

Charlie: Ok, ok. You just go boil some water, whatever it is you're supposed to do in a time like this.

Mrs. Wallace: Shh. Now, precious and I already did that.

Charlie: Then boil some more, and take monkey pox with you. You're making me nervous.

Mrs. Wallace: Come on, precious, let's get out of this place.

Sheridan: Please! Someone, anyone, please have mercy on my baby!

Charlie: Quit your yowling, or I'll leave both of yous down there to die. Why is that so hard to understand?

Sheridan: Please, please, luis, I need you.

Singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and i would fly on the wings of the bird I knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life

mrs. Wallace: Boy, as if boiling more water is going to help sheridan deliver a healthy baby. That charlie -- she has no idea what she's doing. Come to think of it, neither do I. Hey, precious! Precious, what did we do those birthing instructions we got off the internet, huh? Oh. Oh, we're doomed. Or I should say the baby is doomed. What a sad, sad world when a newborn won't even live long enough to see the light of day. Oh, precious, come on. We have to pray,ray for sheridan's little one. Let me just get down on my knees here.

Mrs. Wallace: This is not amusing, precious. A baby's life is at stake here, and we don't even know how to bring it into the world. Oh, come on. You certainly do not know anything about childbirth. You do? I don't believe it.

Doctor: Scalpel, please, nurse precious. Clamp. There we go. Here she comes. Oh, she's a real beauty, too. Don't you think, nurse precious? We'll show her to her mother now, ok?

Mrs. Wallace: What is the world coming to when we have to completely depend on an orangutan to deliver a human child, huh? As the angels are my witness, when all this is over -- whoo! -- I'm o o of here, and I'm not coming back.

Luis: What is wrong with you tonight, beth? You act like you don't want me to cook you dinner or show you my surprise. Is there something inside the house you don't want me to see?

Beth: No, of course not. I just --

luis: All right, then come on. Let's go inside. Let me get you comfortable. Come on.

Sheridan: Oh, my baby, my baby!

Luis: Oh, my god. Sheridan! Sheridan, what are you doing here? Where have you -- oh, my god. You've been here all along, haven't you?

Sheridan: Mm-hmm.

Luis: Where have they been keeping you?

Sheridan: The basement.

Luis: That's why beth always got so freaked out whenever I went near there. Not so fast, beth. You did this, didn't you? You kidnapped sheridan, didn't you?

Beth: It wasn't only me. She was the one that did the actual kidnapping.

Luis: Yeah, well you made her do it. I trusted you, beth. I thought that you loved me. This whole time I've been going crazy trying to find sheridan, you knew exactly where she was and you didn't tell me. She could have died. The baby could have died. I hate you. I hate you with every cell in my body.

Sheridan: Luis! The baby's coming! I'm in labor!

Luis: All right. It's going to be all right. Let me get you to the hospital, ok? Come on. Come on. I'll deal with you later. You're a monster.

[Sheridan screams]

[Beth screams]

Luis: Beth, what is it? What's wrong?

[Sheridan screams]

Charlie: I said pipe down, or I'll stick a sock in your mouth.

Sheridan: I'm trying, but I am in so much pain. Please, please get me to a doctor so that I don't lose my baby.

Charlie: Tough noogies, honeybunch. The only doctor you're going to see is me.

Sheridan: Look, whoever you are, whatever it is you think that I did to you, please, please do not take this out on my unborn baby. Look, if you don't believe me, then come on down here and just see how close I am to delivering.

Charlie: Ick! I don't think so.

Sheridan: Look, bring me up there. I can't give birth down here. It's too filthy.

Charlie: You're out of your bleached-blonde gourd if you think I'm letting you out of that pit. Last time I did that, you almost escaped.

Sheridan: I had more strength then. I could walk. I'm in so much pain now, I can -- oh, god! -- I could barely move. Please, I'll give you anything you want, just help me save my baby!

[Sheridan screams]

Charlie: All right, all right. I'll let you come up here where you got some more room.

Charlie: All right, go on. Grab hold of it. What are you waiting for?

Sheridan: Oh, god. This is out there on global - I'm seanna collins. This the final weekendto visit the global home showcase in summerside. This beautiful home is full of renovation and decorating ideas. Your chance to see what's hot in color, design and dicor from some of edmonton's finest businesses. Be sure to support the "here's the beef" celebration monday at the sportex. The event will celebrate our pride and faith in canadian beef. You're invited to enjoy alberta beef on a bun and day long entertainment. It's free and any donations will go back into the community. Symphony under the sky is edmonton's classical music festival. Enjoy spectacular music from an international line-up of musicians at hawrelak park. It's the last festival of the summer - don't miss it.And global is proud to sponsor the cheerios mother/daughter walk for heart and strokeseptember 21st at laurier park. All money raised goes to heart disease and stroke research. Register to walk or volunteer todaythat's out there for today

gwen: What did I say are you upset that I have issues with theresa?

Whitney: No. Look, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do about theresa. It's just that she's my best friend, and I feel disloyal even having this conversation.

Gwen: You're right. You're right, whitney. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm putting you in the middle, and it's not your fault. Listen, I don't even hate theresa.

Whitney: You don't?

Gwen: Not really. I mean -- although I probably should, considering all the torment she has caused me. She has done everything she could possibly think of just shy of murder to try and steal ethan away from me. And in fact, she did almost murder me once with a pair of scissors.

Whitney: Ok, she was sick, and she didn't know what she was doing at the time.

Gwen: Well, as far as I'm concerned, theresa doesn't really ever think about what she's doing where ethan is concerned, and that's why I never can feel really relaxed unless she's far, far away like she is right now. Thank heavens. That's why ethan and I didn't tell anyone we were coming out here to see the prenatal specialist.

Whitney: Yeah, I mean, I was surprised when I found out that you guys were out here in los angeles.

Gwen: Well, I was sure that if theresa got wind of it, she would make up some lame excuseo o come out to L.A. By herself. Thank god -- thank god -- nobody blew our secret. Honestly, whitney, I have no problem with theresa, as long as she stays where she is, far, far away from me and ethan.

Chad: Easy, man. He this is a hospital full of sick people that need their rest. Now, I'm sure you don't want to get them all worked up.

Ethan: No, of course I don'T.

Chad: Ok, I didn't think so. And I'm sure you don't want gwen to hear that theresa's in town, staying at the same place you are.

Ethan: You t t that right.

Chad: Look, man, we've always been straight with each other, right?

Ethan: Yeah. So?

Chad: So I'm not going to sugarcoat what I see going on here. You don't want to tell gwen about theresa being here because you're scared she's going to get all stressed out.

Ethan: I can't think of a better reason to keep her in the dark about this. I mean, news like that could hurt her. It could hurt her and the baby.

Chad: Yeah, but you're still tripping out about how theresa might be dating your half brother.

Ethan: He -- fox doesn't deserve her.

Chad: If I didn't know better, I'd think you're still in love with theresa.

Fox: I never thought I'd fall in love.

Theresa: It's always been you, only you, ethan. Oh, my god. Fox?

Fox: Yeah, what was that?

Mrs. Wallace: Yeah, I know. A watched pot never boils. You know, you're making me nervous with your staring. Don't we need some more clean towels or something? Don't lollygag. I don't think we have much time before sheridan's baby makes an appearance.

Luis: What is it? Is it the baby? Beth?

Beth: No, no. Nothing like that. You know, I am such a klutz. I just -- I stubbed my toe on that pathway and it's killing me.

Luis: Oh, I'm sorry. Thank god. You scared the hell out of me. If you were to go into labor, I -- I just don't think I could deliver a baby right now. Here.

Beth: No, no, it's nothing like that. I just -- can I sit down for a minute?

Luis: Why don't we go inside. You could sit in a chair.

Beth: No, I don't think I can make it just yet.

Luis: All right.

Beth: Thank you. This one.

Beth: Ow.

[Sheridan groans]

Charlie: Over there. I set up a cot for you.

Sheridan: I don't think I can make it.

Charlie: Fine. Have your kid on the dirt floor, then.

[Sheridan groans]

Charlie: Go on. Hurry up there. Chop, chop! I don't got all day.

Charlie: There. What did I tell you? Now you can rest. Don't worry, don't worry. I'm not going to cut your pretty girl face. This is for cutting the umbilical cord. That's unless you get some stupid ideas about trying to escape again. Then I might just have to perform a little plastic surgery.

Sheridan: No! No!

mrs. Wallace: I know this is going to end badly.

Charlie: You want the white slop or the green slop?

Mrs. Wallace: Both.

[Mrs. Wallace gasps]

Mrs. Wallace: Charlie, you got kitchen service? Oh, you must be in with the prison muckey-mucks. Put in a good word for me.

Charlie: Yeah, in your dreams, old bag. In your dreams. Bon appetite.

Mrs. Wallace: What's keeping precious with those towels?

Luis: Your stubbed toe feel any better?

Beth: Much. Don't stop.

Luis: Does that feel good, darling? Ah, yeah.

Mrs. Wallace: Hey, where are those towels, huh? Precious, what the heck are you looking at, huh?

[Mrs. Wallace gasps]

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, god, no. No, no, no. Beth was supposed to try and keep luis away from here until sheridan had her baby. We are so done for, precious. Hey. Hey, would you stop daydreaming about el hunko and start concentrating on delivering sheridan's baby? Every girl in town has a crush on mr. Yum-yum, ok? So, get over it, precious. Otherwise, luis is going to start making a monkey out of you.

Charlie's voice: At least she's in too much pain to try and escape this time.

Charlie: Don't move. I got to go somewhere.

Sheridan: Are you going to get me a doctor?

Charlie: Yeah. Right. A doctor. I'm going to go upstairs and call 911 so they'll send over an ob-gyn specialist to deliver your squalling brat. Get over it, rich witch. This is going to be a home birth. Don't you watch pbs? Yoyou know real women, they do it all the time.

Sheridan: But --

charlie: And no arguments. I don't want to hear a peep out of you while I'm upstairs, not a one.

[Sheridan groans] It's our greatest offer ever.

Singer: You are my passion for life

chad: Oh, man, you've got it worse than I figured. I mean, I knew you always loved theresa in a certain way, but I didn't know which way or how bad until this very minute.

Ethan: Chad, keep your voice down, all right?

Charlie: No problem. I mean, that's not going to make the situation go away. What the hell are you going to do?

Ethan: Nothing.

Chad: Come again? Ethan, you have a wife down the hall who's having your baby. You got an ex-girlfriend who you're still in love with staying at the place where you're sleeping. And you're just going to do nothing?

Ethan: Hey, if you're so damn smart, tell me what to do. What would you do in this situation?

Chad: I wouldn't be in this situation.

Ethan: If you were. Look, it doesn't matter how I feel about theresa because I am married to gwen, we're expecting a child together, and I love her.

Chad: But you love theresa more.

Ethan: I didn't say that. All I'm saying is that theresa will alway mean a lot to me and I care about what happens to her and I want her to find happiness.

Chad: As long as it's not with fox.

Ethan: You're damn right. Look, that guy is not worth the ground that she walks on.

Chad: Maybe that's the old fox. Maybe your half brother's grown up. Look, I don't know him that well, but he seems a lot more complicated than I thought when I first met him.

Ethan: No, no. He's not complicated at all. See, his world revolves around one thing, and that's making fox feel good. All he wants to do is have a good time. He doesn't care at whose expense, and that includes as many good-looking women as he can fit into his busy schedule. That guy, he's a real chip off the old julian block.

Chad: Oh, you think so, huh?

Ethan: Oh, yeah. I'd bet my trust fund on it if I still had one. There's no way he would dream of getting hooked up with theresa. Come on, he'd have to be a loyal boyfriend. He'd have to be a role model for little ethan. Sorry, I can't see that.

Chad: Maybe you just don't want to see it.

Gwen: I just wish that theresa would meet another guy, someone to just sweep her off her feet, and she would completely forget about ethan. Wishful thinking, I know.

Whitney: Not necessarily.

Gwen: Why? Do you know something? Has she met someone? Has she talked to you? Whitney, please, you have to tell me. I could really use some good news right now.

Whitney: Well, ok, it's all kind of new right now, but fox is in love with theresa.

Gwen: What?

Whitney: Hehe and I were talking, and I figured it out. Plus, he already admitted it to chad, so --

gwen: Really?

Whitney: Yeah.

Gwen: Fox? But he's here and theresa's back in harmony. Did he even ever ask her on a date when they were both in the same town?

Whitney: Well, that doesn't mean anything. I mean, theresa thought she was still married to julian when fox first came back to harmony.

Gwen: Well, what about after theresa found out their wedding in bermuda was a hoax?

Whitney: Maybe he didn't feel like he had a chance.

Gwen: Right, because everyone knows that the only man theresa wants is mine. So why did he admit to it now?

Whitney: Well, it's not like he's shouting it from the rooftops. All that he would own up to is that he was madly in love with this woman, but he would never tell anyone her name, and I figured out that it was theresa. It's true, gwen. Fox is madly in love with theresa.

Fox: Whoa, nelly.

Theresa: I know. Where did that come from?

Fox: I don't know. I don't know, but I swear on your delicious bikini I did not plan any of that. I I swear to you.

Theresa: Yeah, you didn't, like, pay that guy to push you?

Fox: What? No. I didn't -- not to say that I haven't, you know, resorted to such trickery in the past, but this time, I'm innocent, your honor. I didn't do it.

Theresa: Ok. All right, all right. Well, you know what? I know what it was. It was the power of suggestion.

Fox: Oh, right. You mean all that stuff that whitney's been feeding us about being each other's secret soul mates and all that kind of stuff.

Theresa: Yeah, exactly.

Fox: Right.

Theresa: You know, of course you're not, well, that bad to look at. Even if you do have this, like, monster-sized ego.

Fox: You're not too bad to look at yourself, theresa.

Theresa: Thank you.

Fox: You're welcome. In fact, actually, when I came back to harmony and I found out that you were my dad's new wife -- actually, I thought you were pretty hot. And easy to talk to.

Theresa: Yeah. You know, I really enjoyed our late night gabs. You know, it was like -- I don't know, it was like you were the only person that really understood me.

Fox: Hmm. Well, maybe that was because of our mutually unrequited loves.

Theresa: Yeah. And maybe if we weren't so much in love with other people, you know --

fox: Anything could have happened.

Theresa: Yeah. It could have. Well, you know, I still don't know where whitney got this idea that I'm the mystery girl that you're in love with.

Fox: That's easy. Whitney would love for you to forget about my half brother ethan.

Theresa: Yeah, but, you know, she likes you a lot, too.

Fox: Yeah?

Theresa: Yeah. And I think that she would be thrilled if you were dating her best friend. But whitney -- she just doesn't realize how dead serious we are about the people that we already love. You know, you just can't put someone in front of us, no matter how attractive they are, and expect us to forget about the person who owns our heart. Right? Hey! You hear what I'm saying?

Fox: Yes, right. You have got my complete attention.

Theresa: You were thinking about that girl that you're in love with.

Fox: You know what, I don't get this. I used to win awards for looking like I didn't give a damn about ananything. And now just --

theresa: Those days are over. You're transparent to me, ok? You got it bad. You know, and when whitney realizes how far gone you are about this girl that you're in love with, she's going to realize that I would have been a terrible choice for you. You've already met the love of your life.

Luis: So, you ready to go in? Because I'd love to get this dinner I'm making for you on the stove.

Beth: Um -- well, there's no rush, luis.

Luis: Well, yeah, there is if we want to eat tonight. Why do I get the feeling you're trying to keep me from going inside?

Beth: All right, I'll tell you. It's mother. This is her nap time, and if we go in, we're goi to wake her up and tn n she's going to be hovering around us like she does.

Luis: I don't mind your mother. Besides, I plan on being really quiet while I'm making you dinner, ok? Now, look, you can go take a nap, and I'll just get things going in the kitchen.

Beth: No, I don't think so --

luis: Beth, please? I really want to do this for you.

Beth: And I really appreciate it. I do. But to tell you the truth, it's been a long day and I'm exhausted, so I think I should just go straight to bed. And maybe you should go home and turn in early, too, and then you could cook dinner for me tomorrow night.

Lu:: Beth, I'm on duty tomorrow night. Please, look, I feel bad enough for not paying enough attention to you while you've been pregnant. And me making you this dinner will just -- it'll just be a small part to make up for that. Beth, look -- you're always doing things for other people without even a word of complaint. And look, I know that your mother can be rather trying sometimes --

mrs. Wallace: Trying to save the love of your life and her unborn baby, mr. Macho man.

Luis: And to be honest with you, when you first introduced me to your mother's caregiver, I thought you'd lost it.

Beth: Really?

Luis: Yeah, but now I see that hiring precious was a stroke of genius. She's amazing. She's the perfect complement to your mother because she can do everything. She's really growing on me, that precious.

Mrs. Wallace: Angels of mercy, what did I do? What did I do to deserve an ape with overactive hormones to be my nurse, a homicidal maniac for a daughter, an heiress socialite in my basement about to get ready to have a baby? And then there's charlie. Huh?

[Charlie's mumbles]

Charlie: The baby is coming! The baby is coming!

Sheridan: Hang on, baby. Please hang on. Mommy's doing the best she can to help you.

Sheridan: Help me. Please, I'm being held prisoner down here. I need a doctor!

Sheridan: Please, somebody hear me. Ng ]

Charlie: I'm not kidding. That bun in her oven is just about cooked. Where's all the hot water? Where's the clean towels?

Mrs. Wallace: Shh. That is the least of your problems. Luis is right outside with beth.

Charlie: She can't be. She knows sheridan's in labor.

Mrs. Wallace: She couldn't keep him away.

Charlie: She damn well better if she wants this baby to be born. Otherwise, she's going to be looking at that kid through jail cell bars. All right, precious, you get the towels. You, come with me.

Luis: You're just not used to anyone looking after you. You need to learn to accept a little bit of attention, ok? Now, I want to cook dinner for you. Please say yes, if not for yourself, for the baby. Ah. Home, sweet home. Come on, come on. Come over here. Sit down right there.

Beth: Ok. But you have to sit with me.

Luis: Yeah. Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you or my baby. I can't believe that I was pining over sheridan all those years. What a colossal mistake. You're the only woman for me, beth. You always were.

[Rock hits window]

Luis: Did you hear that?

Beth: What? I didn't hear anything.

[Sheridan screams]

Sheridan: One mississippi, two mississippi -- maybe if I try to think about luis -- mrs. Luis lopez fitzgerald. Sheridan crane lopez fitzgerald. I'd like you to meet my husband, officer lopez fitzgerald.

Luis: There it was again. You must have heard it that time. mike meyers. Listthis country and the people of this country and you can describe me as an actor, a writer, a comedian, but you legend.L a funni you bounced back stillouth, before we, ththeree y you wwere.Funnystill and I think that we're downtown at second city. A stable of charace it wus long before the lure of the bright lightsstillstill robin. I love you very much

ethan: Look, it's not about what I want. It's about how things are with fox. The guy is too much of a self-absorbed party boy to ever get serious about a real woman with a real child.

Chad: Kid or no kid, theresa's a pretty attractive woman.

Ethan: Yeah, chad, she's beautiful. But aside from her physical attributes, she's so far from fox's type, it's not even funny. He would never risk getting involved with a woman that has a child. No, no, no. That's way too much hassle for a guy whose whollilife is about how many models he can date in a month. Look, wherever you found out or heard that fox was interested in theresa, it's got to be wrong.

Chad: No, I don't think so.

Ethan: Well, chad, I'm sorry. I just think I know my little half bro a little better than you. Besides, if he really wanted theresa, he would have made a major play for her when he first met her. See, fox doesn't have a clue about being patient about anything. He's always just grabbed whatever he wanted, and unfortunately, it's worked for him in the past. Who told you that fox was into theresa, anyway?

Chad: Whitney. She was the first person.

Ethan: No, she's -- she's dreaming. She must have seen them together and just read it wrong.

Chad: No, no, fox admitted it to me himself.

Ethan: You're kidding.

Chad: No. No, I had to drag it out of him, but it came straight from the horse's mouth.

Ethan: He's putting you on.

Chad: Come on, man. Why would he do that? What's to gain?

Ethan: Maybe he doesn't want you to know who he's really hung up on.

Chad: That doesn't make any sense, man. Unless -- unless it's whitney.

Gwen: You're sure? Fox is really in love withheheresa?

Whitney: That's right.

Gwen: Whitney, this is wonderful! You know, I actually entertained the same thought myself, but when I mentioned it to ethan, he told me that they could never be a couple.

Whitney: Oh, please. You know how men are.

Gwen: Right. Soenense sometimes to things that are completely obvious to a woman. This -- this could be the answer to my prayers. If fox and theresa get together, than I can have my baby and ethan and I can go home to harmony without me having to worry about theresa. She would finally be out of my hair for good. Whitney, thank you so much. This is the first hope I've had in ages. Thank you.

Fox: Th w whole love thing's kind of freaky, isn't it?

Theresa: Yeah. Yeah, that would be one way to describe it.

Fox: Yeah. I mean, what the hell makes your heart do backflips over one person instead of another? There's no logic to it, none at all.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh, no, no, no! Not that one. That is my martha stewart towel.

Charlie: Hey, you better give everything you got to this effort, or you and martha may end up in the same cellblock.

Mrs. Wallace: Oh! I've hated this. I've hated it from the start! And that is exactly what I'm going to tell the judge if we get caught.

Charlie: Hey, hey, hey! We won't get caught, all right? Now, we're going to deliver this baby -- somehow. We're going to pass it off as beth'S. And then luis will never know that sheridan's been here in residence. Got it?

Mrs. Walla:: Do I have a choice?

Charlie: That's right. You don'T. So let's hurry and get down there before luis gets in this house. All right, you -- you deal with the rest of towels. I'm going to deal with the hot water.

Sheridan: Somebody, please help me. It's hopeless. I'm going to die down here. Maybe I can escape after all.

[Rock hits window]

Luis: You hear it now, don't you?

Beth: Not really.

Luis: It's like a tapping sound. It sounds like it's coming from your basement.

Beth: Oh, I know what it is. It's the creaking in the pipes, you know, in this old house.

Luis: Oh, yeah, yeah. We get that in our house, too.

Luis: Well, whatever it is, I think I should take a look at it.

Beth: No, I'll just call the plumber tomorrow. It's fine.

Luis: I'm just not sure it's the pipes. Whatever. I'll take a look at it, ok?

Luis: I don't believe it.

Beth: Oh, dear god. He's seen sheridan.

Chad: Ethan thinks fox has the hotsoror you.

Charlie: If we leave her down there by herself much longer, she could try to escape.

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