Passions Transcript Wednesday 4/16/03
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miguel: That's what. Remind me to thank jessica and reese for getting us together tonight.
Charity: Yeah. I almost didn't stay for the moviwhen I realized what they were up to.
Miguel: Well, I'm glad you did. We belong together, charity.You can see that now, can't you?
Charity: I always wanted to be with you. It wasn'
miguel: You know, it's chilly by the water. Why don't we go get ourselves some hot chocolate.
Charity: I'd love to.
Kay: Tabitha? Tabitha, thank god you're here. I need you to er potion right now.
Tabitha: I didn't give you the last one. You filched it without even asking. So if it didn't work t you wanted it to, you have no one butourself to blame.
Kay: Ok, don't be mean to me. I'm the only friend you have, remember?
Tabitha: Friend, right.
Kay: Well, I'm an apprentice witch, and we are both knocked up. That's more than most friends have in common.
Tabitha: I suppose. So, what did you do with that potion that I concocted that makes people fall out of love with their soul mates?
Kay: Well, I had a really brilliant idea. I poured it over a box of popcorn. I was going to give it to miguel so that he could eat it and then forget all about charity and then turn to me.
Tabitha: Don't tell me --
kay: Yeah, well, reese ate the entire box because miguel wasn't hungry. Reese and jessica got into a huge fight. I think they may have even broken up.
Tabitha: Oh, kay, I warned you to be careful with that potion.
Kay: Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Well, the worst part of it is miguel and charity are back together again. I don't think either one of them actually cares that I'm carrying miguel's child. Tabitha, you have to have something you can give me, something that will split them up. And I need it. I need it right now, or else --
tabitha: Or else what?
Kay: I'm going to tell everyone in harmony that you're a witch.
Luis: Stop beth? I don't understand.
Mrs. Wallace: There is no time to waste.
Luis: What are you talking about? Stop beth from doing what?
Mrs. Wallace: They're trying to kill sheridan.
Mrs. Wallace: You have got to stop beth from killing sheranan.
Luis: Mrs. Wallace, you're not making any sense. Were you sleeping when I knocked? Is this a nightmare?
Mrs. Wallace: Yes. Yes, it is a nightmare, only it's real. And as god -- god is my witness, I am telling you that my wretched spawn and her partner are out to murder your one -- one true love.
Luis: I don't mean to argue with you, mrs. Wallace, but I know beth. No, she wouldn't hurt a fly.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh.
Luis: I just think you're confused. Now, you probably heard that someone set fire to sheridan's cottage, but beth didn't have anything to do with that, ok?
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that. Now you listen to me. I am telling you that beth and her friend are going to murder sheridan tonight.
Sheridan: Who are you? What are you doing here?
Sheridan: What are you going to do?
Sheridan: Antonio! Theresa! Help!
Clown: Don't waste your breath, honey. No one can hear you. You're dead meat.
Clowns: Dead meat. Dead meat. Deadeaeat. Dead meat.
Singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and i would fly on the wings of the bird I knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life ng ]
Charity: How did I go so long without kissing you?
Miguel: That's a really good question.
Miguel: But you'll never have to go a day without it again. Or an hour, if I have any say in it. You know, I really learned a lot from almost losing you. I'll never lie or keep anything from you ever again. And I should have trusted that you'd understand what happened between me and kay.
Tabitha: You've already tried to convince everyone that I'm a witch, and they all thought you were nuts.
Kay: Yes, that was then. This is now. And now I have a lot more proof against you. So trust me, when I get done with my show-and-tell, everyone in harmony will know you're a witch.
Tabitha: You'll try that and you'll be sorrier than you know. I'm your only shot at snagging miguel. Without me, you'll end up a sour, unwed mother changing diapers day in, day out.
Kay: Well, I'll take my chances with that, tabitha, because as of yet, you have been no help to me whatsoever. I mean, look at them. They're practically attached to the hip.
Tabitha: Kay. Oh, if only you had listened to me and not gone off half-cocked with a potion you knew nothing about, you'd be the one sitting sipping cocoa with romeo. I don't know exactly what happened at the cinema tonight, but it wasn't my fault. And I won't tolerate your threats. It's your own blinking hormones that have got you into this mess, nothing more and nobody else.
Kay: So what am I supposed to do now?
Tabitha: You have to just trust me and trust the potion that I've made up. When administered properly, it works wonders. I've already used it on two people tonight. Sheridan crane being one of them.
Kay: What did it do to her?
Tabitha: Even as we speak, my little gift of potpourri is making her live out one of her greatest fears. But you must understand, kay, that witchcraft is not a cure-all for everything.
Hank: Witchcraft? What are you two talking about?
Mrs. Wallace: You have got to believe me. Beth is trying to kill sheridan!
Luis: Will you stop saying that?
Mrs. Wallace: All right, all right, all right. I know it sounds as if I have lost my marbles, but it is true. Ok. Maybe if I start from the beginning. Beth is insane. She's a homicidal maniac.
Luis: You've had these delusions before, though.
Mrs. Wallace: No, no, no. I am not delusional. Luis, I am trying to save the life of the woman that you love.
Luis: Where's your medication? Did you forget to take your medication again?
Mrs. Wallace: No. No, there is nothing wrong with me. It's my daughter who needs help. She's completely out of control, and now --
luis: I don't want to hear another unkind word about beth. I've known her since we were kids. The last thing that she is is crazy.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh.
Luis: That's the whole reason that I left sheridan to come over here, was to get some levelheaded, commonsense advice from her. Now you want me to believe that she's suddenly lost her mind?
Luis: What the hell?
Singers: Love is a many splendored thing
mrs. Wallace: So, do you think my daughter is compos mentis? Do you think she's playing with a full deck? That's why she hired a monkey to be my caregiver.
Luis: Don't tell me that --
mrs. Wallace: May I present exhibit A. Her name is precious. Beth hired her to be my nurse. Now you tell me -- would a sane person do such a thing? I don't think so.
["Love is a many splendored thing" plays]
Mrs. Wallace: Lord love a duck. I have never seen her do that. Ooh. She must be taken with you. Would you stop flirting with the monkey and listen? I'm trying to tell you something important here. For all we know, sheridan could already be dead.
Sheridan: What are you doing here? Why do you want to hurt me? No, no. No! Stop! Let me go!
Sheridan: Let me out! I can't see! No! No! ññçgíx get off the phone. - Clean your room. - Do it--
sheridan: Help! Somebody help me! Help! No! Somebody help me!
Theresa: Sheridan -- sheridan -- sheridan -- it's just me. It's just me.
Theresa: Yes, sheridan. It's just me. You were screaming. What happened?
Sheridan: Oh, they're still here. They couldn't have left. We got to search the house.
Theresa: No, no, no. There's no one here except antonio, who's in the bedroom, and little ethan, who's still sleeping.
Sheridan: Oh, no, no, no. There were clowns here. They were attacking me with syringes. They were putting scarves over my head so I couldn't see them. It was horrible. I couldn't fight them or anything.
Theresa: Honest, there's no one here who wants to hurt you. You are ok, ok? It was just a bad dream.
Sheridan: But it seemed so real.
Theresa: Yeah. Maybe you got yourself caught up in this blanket somehow and it became part of your dream.
Sheranan: What about the clowns? I mean, they were attacking me. They were taunting me. They were laughing and dancing around me. And then there was this disco ball and really loud circus music.
Theresa: Don't you think that I would have heard the music if there was any?
Sheridan: No. No, they sllll have to be here, all right? They came just after tabitha left.
Theresa: Tabitha lenox?
Sheridan: Yeah. She came by to congratulate me on my pregnancy, and she came me the nicest smelling potpourri.
Theresa: I didn't know you two were friends.
Sheridan: Well, we're not really. But it was thoughtful, don't you think?
Theresa: Yeah. I guess.
Sheridan: Where did this dream come from? Why am I having a nightmare about clowns?
Mrs. Wallace: Would you forget about the damn monkey and listen to ??
Luis: Well, if you were making any sense at all --
beth: Hey, you.
Luis: Hey, beth.
Beth: What a great surprise. I -- I didn't know you were coming over.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh. Oh, dear lord, dear lord, she's home. Oh, no, that means it's too late. How could you have done this, beth? Oh, poor, poor sheridan.
Beth: What are you carrying on about now, mother?
Mrs. Wlalace: Angels on high, please -- please be merciful with sheridan's soul. She didn't deserve to die this way.
Beth: What tall tales are you telling luis this time, thther?
Luis: Well, actually, your mother has been telling me that you and someone else have set out to kill sheridan.
Beth: Oh, no, not again. Now, mother, we've talked about your illness, how important it is for you to separate fantasy from reality if you want to continue living at home.
Luis: She was very insistent, and she pleaded with me to listen to her, and she told me that you'd lost it and that I didn't know you at all.
Beth: You didn't believe her, did you?
Luis: Well, frankly, I don't know what is going on here. Is it true that you hired this ape to take care of your mother?
[Singing in spanish]
Mrs. Wallace: You have got to listen to me, luis. I am afraid beth and her peculiar friend may have already killed sheridan.
Beth: Thther, hush. You're making a fool of yourself. Precious, do me a favor. Go -- go make us all some tea, will you, please?
Beth: She's actually a highly trained orangutan. We had such trouble with that last caregiver, I thought it might be worth a try. And she's quite intelligent --
luis: All right, enough about the ape. I want to know why your mother keeps going on and on about you wanting to kill ereridan.
Beth: For the same reason she makes all these other wild stories up all day long. Yesterday, she announced that we had a visit from space creatures. And today, well, I'm out to do in sheridan.
Luis: Well, yeah, I memember last time that she went on about you wanting to hurt sheridan, I chalked it up to her just getting out of the hospital after her stroke. But, beth, she's been home for a while now, and she seems perfectly lucid.
Beth: Ok, well, that's the devil of it. I mean, she seems normal to other people, but if you spent any real time with her, you would realize how irrational she is. She scared the wits out of our last nurse with all her outlandish blatherings. That's why I had to hire precious.
Luis: Yeah, I was wondering about that.
Beth: Listen, I don't like to talk about mother in front of her. Would you just excuse us for a second?
Beth: You shut your fat face, or I swear to your bloody angels on high that I will kill you the second that luis leaves the door.
Mrs. Wallace: You did it, didn't you? You and that charlie girl -- you killed sheridan. That's where you've been gone all this time, huh?
Beth: Not that I owe you an explanation, but I was at the grocery store buying milk and bananas --
mrs. Wallace: No, no, no no more bananas. She's been eating dozens of them ever since she's been here. Look. Look, look. See? Look, huh? I try and tell her that these banana peels belong in the garbage. But does she listen to me? No.
Beth: Ok, just forget the bananas. Go help precious make the tea. I've got to talk to luis.
Mrs. Wallace: No.
Beth: Alone. Go now.
Beth: Ok. Now, where were we?
Luis: You were just about to give me some answers as to what the hell is going on here, beth.
Beth: But I told you --
luis: Yeah, about the monkey, yes. But I have other questions. First of all, why did you send your mother out of the room just now? And who is this woman that your mother mentioned?
Woman: Your daughter's going to love all these blondie dolls.
Charlie: I don't have a daughter.
Woman: Oh, sorry. I just assumed. There's nothing wrong with little boys playing with dolls, either.
Charlie: Who said they were for a little boy?
Woman: I didn't mean to offend you. Who are they for?
Charlie: They are for me, so I can get my revenge!
Hank: What are you two doing out at this hour? I don't like what you're teaching my niece, tabitha.
Tabitha: If the notion weren't so amusing, mr. Bennett, I might take umbrage. The fact is kay couldn't fall asleep tonight, and so I suggested we take an evening stroll. Restlessness is very common wi p pregnant women.
Hank: I didn't know.
Tabitha: So I gather. Anyway, that's the reason that we are out here now at this hour, as you put it.
Hank: Ok. But what about my first question? Why were you two talking about witchcraft?
Miguel: You know, I never really got a chance to explain to you what happened with kay, and I need you to understand so that we never break up again. Charity, what is it?
Charity: I can't do this, miguel. I thought that I could, but I can'T.
Miguel: What are you saying? I mean, you're not breaking up with me again, are you? W?
Singer: You are my passion for life
beth: I haven't wanted to say it out loud, but the sad truth is my mother's losing her mind, and she gets worse every day.
Luis: Well, she seems very sure of herself.
Beth: Apparently, that's part of the disease -- denial. And when you're dealing with someone as strong-willed and convicted as my mother, it's even more common.
Luis: I had no idea.
Beth: I was just embarrassed to say anything. Mother always told me not to air our family's dirty linens to outsiders.
Luis: Hey -- I'm hardly an outsider, you know? We were almost married.
Beth: You're right. I should have confided in you. When my mother was still at the hospital, the doctors asked to speak to me in private. They said that the stroke affected her more than just physically. She suffered irreversible brain damage. That's where all these wild stories are coming from.
Luis: Well, it seems to me that she made accusations about you before she ever had her stroke.
Beth: It was a precursor to what happened. That's what the doctors told me. You didn't really think that I would try and hurt sheridan, did you?
Luis: Well, no, not at first, but when your mother mentioned this woman, you know, she sounded like an accomplice.
Beth: What, like I'd hooked up with bonnie and clyde or something?
Mrs. Wallace: Charlie could be either one of them.
Luis: I know it's -- it's crazy, right? I'm sorry I ever doubted you. It's -- oh, it's just been a hell of a day, you know. What, with finding out sheridan is pregnant and the cottage catching on fire. I mean, you name it, it's happened.
Beth: I gather you haven't told antonio that the baby could be yours?
Luis: You know, I still don't completely understand why you've hired an orangutan to take care of your mother. I always thought y t took such good care of her yourself.
Beth: Well, I still do. But even I can use a break now and then. That's why I hired precious. As strange as it may seem, she's absolutely perfect. She's just the right match for mother. They've got a lot in common, and they really enjoy each other company. Not only that, precious graduated at the top of her class from the leader animal academy. She's really highly trained.
Luis: Yeah, yeah, I -- I believe you.
Beth: And what makes her such a find right now is that mom's -- well, she's deteriorating at such an alarming rate. Frankly, she was scaring the human nurses to death. They just kept quitting on me one after another. Precious was -- is my last resort, and she works for peanuts, which is really great because I don't have health insurance anymore. I just -- I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have precious. I just don't think I'd be able to handle this on my own. I'd probably have to place mother in one of those state nursing homes, and you know what they say about those places.
Luis: Hey, hey. It's ok. It's all right.
Hank: I'm waiting, tabitha. Why were you and kay talking about witchcraft?
Tabitha: You might well ask. You misunderstood. We weren't talking about witchcraft at all.
Hank: I know what I heard.
Tabitha: You were eavesdropping on the tail end on a teeny-tiny gripe fest by a pregnant woman whose body is going through all sorts of changes right now. Tell him about your swollen feet.
Kay: Oh, they really, really, really hurt, uncle hank.
Tabitha: Not to mention her aching back.
Tabitha: And who knows what else. And so your niece said to me -- joking -- that she wished she knew a witch who she could ask to cast a spell on her so she would feel better. And I said -- joking, as well, and this is the part you, no doubt, heard -- that witchcraft isn't a cure-all for everything.
Hank: Didn't sound to me like either of you was joking at all.
Tabitha: Oh, well probably my dry wit is a little too subtle for you, mr. Bennett.
Hank: In any case, I want you to get on home now. Not that walking isn't good exercise. It's actually a great way to lose those extra pounds. Promise me you'll head home?
Kay: I promise.
Hank: Good night, tabitha.
Tabitha: Good night, mr. Bennett. What an insolent young man. How dare he suggest I've put on weight.
Kay: Well, you have. He doesn't actually have the benefit of knowing you're pregnant. I mean, can you blame him, at your age?
Tabitha: Oh, don't rub it in, don't rub it in.
Kay: You know, my question is, what are you going to do when you really start showing? Well, you can't hide it under baggy clothes for the whole nine months, tabitha. What are you going to do when people guess and start asking who the father is?
Tabitha: Don't think I haven't thought about that. Tonight sheridan asked me point-blank if I'm with child. Oh, maybe I can cast a spell on the whole citizenry of harmony and make them see me as slender and svelte.
Kay: Maybe. So, what else did sheridan say? Did you stick around and watch what happened after you gave her the black magic potpourri?
Tabitha: Oh, no. I didn't have to stay around to watch what happened to her. But I didn't tell you. Tonight, I got two for the price of one.
Kay: I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Tabitha: Sheridan has a sleepover guest -- theresa. When she smells my magic potpourri, her life will go up in smoke, as well.
Sheridan: Well, I'm sorry I woke you up.
Theresa: Oh, don't be silly. I'm just glad that I heard you. I guess I forgot what a deep sleeper antonio is. Mama used to tell stories that he could sleep through the loudest thunderstorms, just snoring away in his own world. Maybe I should wake him up.
Sheridan: No. No, don'T. I'm glad he slept through it. You know, he's still recovering from his illness. He needs all the rest that he can get. I just don't know where this nightmare came from. I mean, why would I be dreaming about clowns?
Theresa: You haven't been to the circus lately.
Theresa: What about food? Did you eat something tonight that upset your stomach?
Sheridan: No, no, nothing at all. All I did was I let tabitha in, I talked to her for a little bit. And then after she left, I sniffed the potpourri and dozed off.
Theresa: What was that?
Theresa: Oh, there you are. This is one of little ethan's favorite toys. He was crying for it right before he fell asleep. I wonder how it got back there.
Sheridan: I guess that's where my clowns came from. Little ethan doesn't have any hidden disco balls anywhere, does he?
Theresa: Not that I know of, but -- well, now we know what made you have your dream.
Ereridan: Yeah. I guess I must have made it laugh when I was tossing and turning in my sleep. I feel like such a fool.
Theresa: No, no, no, don'T. I'm sure it was very real and very scary, especially after everything that's happened tonight.
Theresa: Do you think you can go back to sleep now?
Sheridan: I'll certainly try. Good night, theresa. Thank you.
Theresa: Oh, you're welcome. It's the least I can do when you have been kind enough to let me and little ethan stay with you.
Sheridan: Thanks. Good night.
Theresa: Good night.
Theresa: Mmm. This does smell good. Maybe I'll ask tabitha to make me up some, too.
Theresa: What just happened? Where am I?
Theresa: Oh, gosh. Oh! How did I get these clothes? How did I get from sheridan's living room to this horrible, little room? Another chilly weather day.
Are you right ñç q q ñ x ç ú q r x
theresa: Is this real? Am I dreaming?
Theresa: Oh, little ethan!
Kay: Just what is your potpourri going to to theresa?
Tabitha: The same thing it'll do to anyone else who smells it -- force them to face their darkest fears. What was that you said about charity and miguel being joined at the hip?
Kay: Well, well, well. Maybe things aren't as perfect in paradise as we thought.
Miguel: Did you change your mind? I mean, did you just decide that you didn't want us to get back together again?
Chcharity: That's not it. I just can't talk about the past, miguel. You don't have to explain everything to me. I just want to enjoy this evening together.
Miguel: Thank god. I was so afraid.
Charity: Don't be. I just don't want anything to spoil the way that I feel right now. I want to be with you.
Kay: Damn it! They're closer than ever.
Woman: You bought these dolls to get revenge? On who?
Charlie: "Whom." You really want to know? All the big-boobed, dumb blondes who think they own the world.
Woman: Um -- ah, what do you know -- it's closing time already.
Charlie: What are you talking about? The sign says "open 24 hours."
Woman: True. We just didn't say which 24 hours we mean. I'm sorry, we're closing up now.
Woman: I said we were closed.
Hank: Patty, it's just me.
Patty: Am I glad to see you, hank.
Hank: What's wrong?
Patty: Oh, the creepiest customer I ever had just left. You must have passed her.
Hank: I saw someone.
Patty: Oh, she was one very scary woman.
Hank: Wait, did she hurt you?
Patty: Oh, no, no. But I got the feeling she was out to hurt somebody. Hank, I know you haven't graduated from the police academy yet, but could you maybe check her out?
Hank: Yeah, I'll see if I can catch up with her.
Charlie: Die, you blonde bitch, die! Die, you blonde bitch, die!
Luis: I know how hard you've worked to keep your mother out of an institution.
Beth: It would just kill me to have to do that to her.
Beth: Years ago, I vowed to myself that I would do whatever I could to keep her home with me.
Mrs. Wallace: Beth would love nothing more than to put me away in a home. I've got to put a stop to this right now.
Beth: Mother, I thought you were going to stay in the kitchen.
Mrs. Wallace: I felt lonely. What are you and luis talking about?
Beth: Nothing that concerns you, mother. Why don't you go get ready for bed. Precious will help you.
Mrs. Wallace: Because I don't want to go to bed. Can I talk to you for a minute, bethie?
Luis: Yeah, sure, take your time.
Beth: You make it quick. I'll be right back.
Mrs. Wallace: I will not let you put me away in a home.
Beth: Hmm. And just how do you think you're going to stop me? Because you tried to blow the whistle on me to luis and he didn't buy it. You're a goner. One way or another, mother, you are a goner.
Mrs. Wallace: I will try again with luis. I'll convince him that I'm the one who's telling the truth and you are the one who is sick and twisted.
Beth: It's not going to work.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure of that one. No, see, because eventually his cop instinct is going drive him to check out my story, and then he's going to start digging and the jig is going to be up, tootsie. He is going to find out about charlie. He's going to find out about all those drugs that you stole from the hospital and all the rest of it. And then he's going to arrest you. So you are not going to kill sheridan, and you are not going to put me away because you have failed at everything you have set out to do, and this is no exception.
Theresa: Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to leave you alone for so long. My baby! Where is he? Where is my baby? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. What -- what is going on? Oh, my gosh, what's happened to him? Can you hear me, se etheart?
Mrs. Wallace: I'm going to tell luis everything I know
beth: Go ahead. But I swear to you, it'll be the last thing you ever do. Because if I don't get a chance to kill you, I'll just ask charlie to do it, and you know she will because she hates you almost as much as I do because you remind her of her own mother.
Mrs. Wallace: Where is that beanstalk, charlie, anyhow?
Beth: Like I'm really going to tell you. Go ahead. What's holding you back? Go tell luis whatever you want to tell him. Tell him everything.
Luis: Yeah, what is it that you want to tell me, mrs. Wallace?
Kay: Come on, give me a spell to break them up right now. Tabitha, come on. What is the point of being this close to witchery if you're not going to let me use it to break them up?
Tabitha: Get a grip, kay. You only use spells and potions when all else fails. Believe or not, some people do a very good job inviting evil into their lives without any help from witchcraft.
Kay: Oh, yeah? Like who?
Tabitha: Like that odd-looking one over there. Huh. You'd be surprised how much time civilians spend worrying about evil coming from the netherworld when very often it's right under their noses.
Hank: What are you doing?
Charlie: What does it look like? Killing blondie. Blondie has to die.
Sheridan: Theresa's right. It was just a bad dream. I couldn't be safer than I am right here in my own cottage with antonio in my bed, those guards outside, and luis doing everything he can to make sure that no one hurts me. Those clowns were just in my imagination. Yeah.
Beth: You're going to die tonight if you don't shut up about sheridan!
Sheridan: Help! Somebody help me!
Voice: If you want to find your son, watch.
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