Passions Transcript Monday 1/14/03
Ivy: Ah, success. Despite a certain senorita, ethan and gwen are finally married and expecting a baby.
Rebecca: And theresa is almost an unpleasant memory.
Ivy: Define "almost."
Rebecca: Well, I can't tell you the exact time that her gluteus maximus is going to hit the pavement, but it won't be long now.
Ivy: So, when do I get to meet this mystery man you're always talking to on the phone?
Rebecca: When the time is right. But trust me, little miss south of the border will be heading south very soon.
Theresa: Yes. Just a little bit more. Ooh, a little bit more. Let me see. Oh, you want some more? What a wonderful son you are. Mommy loveyou very much.
[Knock on door]
Theresa: Come in.
Fox: I noticed your light was still on. Want to share a nightcap?
Theresa: Sure, fox. You pour, and I will tuck little ethan in. What's up there? You know, this is beginning to be a habit -- you coming in while I'm feeding little ethan.
Fox: Well, maybe I'm jealous of all the love and attention he gets.
Theresa: Let me guess -- ivy wasn't nurturing to you when you were little?
Fox: Only to ethan. But maybe it's not too late for me to get a little nurturing now.
Eve: What was that for?
T.C.: Are you complaining?
T.C.: Well, between the back-to-back weddings and you being so busy lately, we haven'tad any time together. But tonight I'm in the mood for love.
Eve: And so am I. With the girls over there at the bennetts', there won't be anybody here. We'll have the place all to ourselves.
T.C.: Mmm. So let's make every second count.
Liz: Get it while you can, eve, because before long, you can kiss your life and T.C. Good-bye.
Antonio: Well, my medication should kick in before sheridan gets back. Then I'll be up to making love to her all night long.
Beth: I will not let luis break off our engagement again. When he gets back, I'll just crack open the champagne and get him tipsy and back in the sack so I can do things to him that will make him forget sheridan ever existed.
Luis: Sheridan --
Luis and sheridan: What are you doing here?
Sheridan: I'm here on my honeymoon.
Luis: Yeah, so am I, I guess.
Sheridan: You eloped with beth?
Luis: No, sheridan, I didn't elope with beth. This is where we were planning on staying tonight if we'd have gotten married. We just decided to come here and spend some time alone together.
Sheridan: So you didn't marry beth.
Luis: Well, I would've if her mother hadn't had a heart attack. That changed everything.
Sheridan: Did it ever. Now, for you to be here with beth and me with antonio -- what a coincidence.
Luis: Not really. My parents spent their honeymoon night here and they always told us kids how romantic it was, so it's really no surprise that both antonio and I chose to spend our honeymoons here.
Sheridan: So, how's beth's mom doing?
Luis: She's doing better. Eve said it was a mild heart attack.
Sheridan: I'm glad. I'm sorry it kept you from marrying beth.
Luis: Well, it didn't stop you from marrying antonio, did it?
Sheridan: Should it have?
T.C.: Mmm. Damn, baby, your sugar is giving me a sweet tooth.
Liz: Well, there is more where th c came from.
T.C.: Sweetheart, I want to thank you for saving me from eve. I don't know where I would be if you hadn't come along and shown me what a lowlife, lying slut that she was. Damn her to try to use me and my daughters so she can look decent and respectable. She's nothing but a lying bitch. And I'm so glad that my girls are away from her bad influence. And, honey, I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you for what you've done for me.
Liz: Well, there is no time like the present.
Eve: T.C.? Please let me in! It's so cold!
T.C.: That's too bad, evil. You got what you deserve for living a lie all these years.
Eve: I -- I would've told you, but I thought you wouldn't forgive me.
T.C.: You're right. Now, get off of my property before I have sam arrest you for trespassing.
Eve: Oh, T.C., Please have pity on me! Oh, please!
Liz: T.C., I am so sorry that eve keeps bothering you.
T.C.: Oh, baby, she's not bothering me.
T.C.: Not when I have you to love.
Eve: No! No! No!
No! No! No. No.
Liz: I'm sorry. Did I interrupt?
Theresa: Fox, you have got to be kidding.
Fox: Can't blame a guy for trying.
Theresa: Oh, you're unbelievable.
Fox: That's what all the ladies say. Why don't you let me prove it to you.
Theresa: No. Don't you take no for an answer?
Fox: Look who's talking.
Theresa: I can't argue that, can I?
Fox: No. No, you cannot. Nonetheless -- nonetheless, my sincerest apologies for taking any liberties which may have offended you.
Theresa: Oh, stop lying and start pouring.
Fox: You are something else.
Theresa: So are you, fox.
Fox: Birds of a feather --
theresa: Flock together.
Fox: To our mutual admiration and friendship.
Theresa: Hear, hear.
Fox: Hmm. Oh, great. It sounds like big ethan and gwen are still awake. Of course, they are still on their honeymoon. Sorry for bringing that up. Come here. Let me -- let me show you my version of the fox trot.
Theresa: No. I don't -- I don't want to dance. I just want that noise to stop. You know, I'm sick and tired of that stupid mood music.
Theresa: You know, I just -- I've got to stop getting upset like this. It's ridiculous.
Fox: Not to me it isn'T. I know it must hurt you to be next door to all that.
Theresa: For years I loved ethan with all of h heart. We were going to be married, and then I messed it up. And it took me a really long time to get him to -- to trust me again, but I finally did it. And then we were going to get married a second time when gwen -- she stole him away from me by accidentally getting pregnant. And I try to be really strong for little ethan's sake, but then I hear thatususic, I know what they're doing next door, and it's like a knife in my heart, fox. A knife in my heart.
Fox: Hey, I'm sorry.
Theresa: I hate gwen for what she's done to me, to my dream of a life with ethan. Have you ever wanted something with every fiber of your being only to have someone come along and snatch it away from you?
Fox: Yeah. Yeah, I have, theresa. I -- know exactly how you feel.
T.C.: Liz, come on in. Our home is always open to you.
Liz: Oh, thank you, T.C. I ran out of milk for my coffee in the morning, and I tried to stop at a grocery store on my way home, but because of the storm they were all closed.
T.C.: Well, hey, how about if I make you a drink that'll warm you up? Sweetheart, you mind getting her some milk?
Eve: No. No, of course not.
Eve: Be right back.
Maid: No, sir, it's the maid. I brought an extra blanket since it's so cold tonight.
Antonio: Oh. I guess I'll have to take your word for it on the blanket. I'm blind.
Maid: Oh, I'm sorry.
Antonio: It's ok. Come on in. Do whatever you need to do.
Maid: Thank you, sir.
Maid: This is one of the two honeymoon suites we have here in the inn. May I ask where your bride is?
Antonio: My bride, sheridan, she went to get some ice. She should be back any second now.
Beth: Luis just went to get meme fresh air. What the hell's taking him so long?
Sheridan: Why shouldn't I have married antonio? You chose beth over me.
Luis: What are you talking about?
Sheridan: Come on. As if you don't know. Look -- you know what? If you'll just excuse me, I have to get back to antonio.
Luis: No, sheridan, I honestly don't know what you're talking about.
Sheridan: How could you not? You chose beth over me.
Luis: No, I didn'T. How can you even say that?
Step up, think big
and get excited
T.C.: Here you go. I decided to join you.
Liz: Thank you, T.C. I can always count on you to give me what I need. You know, T.C., I want to thank you again for dancing with me at antonio's reception.
T.C.: Liz, it was my pleasure. You're about the only woman who doesn't think I have two left feet.
Liz: I think that you are being too hard on yourself. A woman just has to know how to follow your lead. Maybe that's where other women go wrong. They try to lead you around by the nose.
T.C.: Well, eve always jokes I'm like a bull in a china shop when it comes to my dancing.
Liz: Why don't we prove her wrong.
[T.C. And liz laugh]
Theresa: So, who stole from you, fox?
Fox: Ethan. He took everything from me. Long before we found out he wasn't really a crane, he was the heir and I was the spare. He got all the praise, all the attention, all the mother's love and affection. Father and grandfather prepped him for the big stuff, groomed him to take the helm of crane industries one day. Well, I had a good backhand, so I got a few tennis lessons and some ballroom dancing lessons.
Theresa: I'm sorry.
Fox: Don't feel sorry for me. It was a long time ago. I've gotten over it.
Theresa: Have you, fox? I mean, it's really obvious that your family hurt you.
Fox: Yeah, well, you know, my cars, clothes, and platinum card helped ease the pain.
Theresa: I don't believe you.
Fox: Why not?
Theresa: When I was ivy's personal assistant, I saw the way she treated you -- never inviting you to join the family on holidays, sending you greeting cards with money in it for your birthdays. You know, I startegegetting so upset that I took the money and bought you gifts with it.
Fox: That was you? Wow. I owe you a big thank-you. You know, I noticed what I thought was a change in mother's behavior a while back. She started typing these thoughtful little letters, you know, to give me a boost. And the gifts she sent -- I mean, they actually meant something. Not like the cold, hard cash I'd been getting. I even remember one time in a letter that I got. She typed something, "dearest fox -- you may have been born my second son, but don't ever think you're second-rate." I felt so good about myself after reading that. Those weren't my mother's words, though, were they? They were yours.
Theresa: I -- I'm sorry. I should've let you go on thi king that ivy wrote them.
Fox: It doesn't matter. You know, it's -- it's not like I care.
Sheridan: Luis, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You never showed up at judge sconyer'S.
Luis: Yes, I did!
Sheridan: No, you didn't!
Luis: Yes, I did.
Sheridan: Look, I was there all night. I fell asleep waiting for you.
Luis: Well, when I got there this morning, I didn't see you.
Sheridan: What do you mean, this morning?
Luis: Look, I don't know what happened, all right, but after you left my place last night, sheridan, I fell asleep, all right? But as soon as I woke up this morning, I rushed down to judge sconyer's office. I didn't see you.
Sheridan: You came to the judge's chambers?
Luis: Yeah. You were really there to marry me?
Sheridan: My god. We both showed up.
Luis: We both wanted to marry each other.
Sheridan: Oh, luis.
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singer: You are my passion for life
theresa: Fox, there's no crime in admitting that your mother hurt you.
Fox: Well, what if she did? It's ancient history. Besides, I don't believe in blaming all of one's problems on one's mother, so --
theresa: I don't, either. But I do blame your mother for ruining my life. I mean, she made it her business to tear ethan and me apart because I wasn't good enough for him. Well, I guess we both have been burned by ivy.
Theresa: But it's ok because I hate her as much as she hates me.
Fox: Considering how much you dislike my mother, why do you even let her stay here? She's not married to my father anymore, so she has no legal claim to the mansion.
Theresa: Well, I threatened to throw her out once, but --
fox: Oh. I get it. You didn't want to offend big ethaby throwing his mother out in the cold. Well, it wouldn't bother me if you threw mama from the gravy train.
Theresa: Well, you and I aren't ethan.
Fox: Don't I know it.
[Knock on door]
Theresa: Come in.
Phyllis: Oh. Hi. I am sorry to interrupt so late. I just thought you should know that ivy and rebecca just threw me and my helpers out of the living room while we were trtrying to clean up. They said they didn't want to be bothered.
Theresa: Well, did you tell ivy and rebecca that I'm having an important meeting in there tomorrow morning?
Phyllis: Oh, yes, ma'am, I did. And then they said something about you never having anything important to do and that you were just some -- um -- "loitering latina."
Theresa: A what?
Phyllis: I know. I'm sorry to have to repeat something so ugly.
Theresa: Oh, it's ugly, all right, but not as ugly as things are about to get. Phyllis, could you stay here with little ethan? I've got some bitches to deal with.
Fox: I wouldn't miss this for the world.
[Liz and T.C. Laugh]
Eve: Liz -- here's your milk.
T.C.: Oh, sweetheart be careful!
Eve: How clumsy of me.
Liz: Yes, well, accidents happen. No use crying over spilt milk, right?
[Liz and T.C. Laugh]
T.C.: That was a good one.
Eve: Well, you will have to eususe me and T.C. We're going to go upstairs and go to bed now, right, honey?
Liz: Well, thanks for the milk. Good night, T.C.
T.C.: Good night.
Liz: Sweet dreams, eve.
Liz: You may have won this round, but the final victory will be mine.
Maid: Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?
Antonio: No, ma'am, I think we'll be ok, but thank you.
Maid: Are you sure you don't need any help with your medicaonon?
Antonio: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, my wife -- she'll be back any second to help me with that.
Maid: Are you sure? I wouldn't want anything --
antonio: No, please, please, it's ok. She should be back any moment now. I mean, what else would she rather be doing than spending time with her husband on her honeymoon night, huh?
Maid: Yes, sir. I'll be leaving, then. Good night, sir.
Antonio: Ok, good night.
Antonio: I can't wait for sheridan to get back.
Beth: I don't understand what's taking luis so long.
[Knock on door]
Beth: He must've locked himself out.
Maid: I thought you might like an extra blanket on suc a cold night.
Beth: Oh, thanks, but just make it quick.
Maid: Yes, ma'am. Everything looks so romantic. You must love your new husband very much.
Beth: Yes, I do. We've been sweethearts since high school. He's my prince charming and more.
Maid: Love must be in the air tonight. The other honeymoon suite is booked, as well. Mr. Lopez fitzgerald was so nice to me just now.
Beth: Did you say opez fitzgerald"?
Maid: Yes, ma'am.
Beth: Are you sure that's his name?
Maid: I saw it on his prescription bottles. And he's blind, so it must be difficult for him to keep track of them all.
Beth: Uh-huh. Yeah, it must be.
Maid: Mr. Lopez fitzgerald was waiting for his bride to come back to help him with his next medicine dose.
Beth: Uh-huh. Ok. Ok, well, thank you. Good night.
Maid: Good night.
Beth: Damn it! Sheridan's next door with antonio. Only she's not there. I I swear, if she snuck out to meet with luis --
sheridan: I love you so much.
Luis: I love you, too. Wait a minute. If you had spent the whole night in judge sconyer's office, then how come his secretary told me that you hadn't been there at all?
Sheridan: I asked her to lie. I didn't want it to get back to antonio that I was there waiting all night to marry his brother. Look, I was heartbroken when I woke up and realized that you hadn't come.
Luis: I don't believe it. We must've missed each other by minutes. You know what? That secretary was acting pretty suspicious, too. I remember smelling your perfume. Thought I imagined it.
Sheridan: God, luis. We were so close to seeing each other, getting married, stopping ourselves from marrying the wrong people.
Luis: What was that?
Sheridan: I don't know.
luis: Whoever it was, they're gone now. Still can't believe what happened last night. It's like there's a conspiracy to keep us apart.
Sheridan: I was heartbroken when you didn't show up at judge sconyer'S.
Luis: Well, I nearly died when his secretary told me that you never showed up. That's why I was going to go ahead and marry beth. Then when mrs. Wallace had a heart attack, i was going to give us another shot. So I left the hospital and I went back to the church.
Sheridan: Only you were too late. Now I'm married to antonio. But I love you, luis. I want to be your wife more than ytything.
Luis: I want to be with you, too. I want to hold you and I want to make love to you all night long. But you married my brother now. Look, sheridan, I was raised a certain way by my mother and by the church. I can't commit adultery.
Sheridan: I can't, either.
Luis: Now that I know that we both want to be together and love each other, I'll never let go of you.
Sheridan: What are we going to do, luis? How are we going to fix this?
Luis: We're going to do what we should've done a long time ago -- we're going to tell my brother the truth.
T.C.: Hmm -- you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.
Eve: And you are the handsomest m a alive. Hey, what's this?
T.C.: I wanted us to have a special night tonight, baby.
Eve: So do I, T.C.
T.C.: Sweetheart, I want to make love to you all night long.
Eve: Oh, it's been so long since we've been together. I want to make up for all of that tonight.
T.C.: So do I, honey. So do I. Be right back. I'm going to change, ok?
Eve: Ok hurry!
Eve: Liz, what are you doing out here? Have you no decency, no shame?
Liz: Oh -- that is really ironic coming from you, eve. Let me ask you a question -- does T.C. Pay for it or does he get it for free?
Eve: Oh, that's it. I've had all I can take from you for one night. Just get out of my house this instant!
T.C.: I'll be out in a minute, sweetheart.
Liz: Oh, you see, eve, it's T.C.'S house, too. Now, how ever would you explain that you have kicked out your family's new best friend in the freezing cold?
Rebecca: Oh. More bubbly?
Ivy: Oh, and to think that pilar and her people prefer sangria over champagne.
Rebecca: It's no surprise to me. I'm sure it's just too much work for them to pop the cork. They probably just like to screw off the cap and guzzle it straight from the bottle.
[Rebecca and ivy laugh]
Ivy: Oh, and then there's theresa, the taco belle of harmony, pretending to be some grand lady. What a joke.
Rebecca: Damn that theresa. She does not belong in a fine house like this.
Ivy: Well, I agree. I think theresa and her little mongrel spawn should go back to the barrio where their kind live.
Theresa: How dare ivy disparage little ethan like that.
Rebecca: But, you know, there are so many of them here. You know, it really makes you wonder what the border patrol does all day.
Ivy: Still, pilar and I use to be really, really close. Well, that was until her children all starting moving on up. I mean, first there was theresa and then antonio. What's next? I mean, is her sister maria going to start getting it on with alistair? Oh --
rebecca: Oh, no, ivy, do not even go there. Oh, no, theresa is problem enough being the lowlife, man-stealing cucaracha that she is.
Theresa: So I'm a llilife, am I?
Ivy: Wewell, you're an eavesdropping lowlife, to be exact.
Theresa: Well, you're about to find out just how low I can go. Take your hooves off my furniture, rebecca.
Rebecca: I don't take orders from the hired help's daughter. Ow!
Theresa: I am not thhihired help anymore. I own this house, and I am sick and tired of your attitude. Yours, too, ivy.
Ivy: Oh, go choke on a taco.
Theresa: This is my house, and you two witches are only here because I've allowed it.
Ivy: Well, this might not be your house for much longer, theresa.
Theresa: And what's that supposed to mean?
Ivy: You'll find out soon enough.
Fox: Mother, I'd be careful what you say to theresa if I were you.
Ivy: Oh, fox. I'm not afraid of this little chili pepper.
Ivy: Yes, theresa. You owow something? I wouldn't count on julian putting up with you for very much longer, either, because I know that pig rather well. And sooner or later --
rebecca: Hopefully sooner.
Ivy: Yes -- he's going to grow tired of having a power-hungry, spendaholic wife like you under foot, and he's going to toss you back into the gutter from whence you came!
Rebecca: Yeah, so don't get too comfy, theresa. You won't be staying here much longer.
Ivy: Yes. Not you or any of your absurdly large, refried family.
Theresa: Ivy, you seem to be confused. See, maybe you and rebecca had too much to drink. I am not going anywhere, but you are, and you're taking this copperhead snake with you.
Ivy: What are you going to do theresa, huh?
Fox: I tried to warn you, mother, but you wouldn't listen.
Theresa: Beat it, both of you. Get out now!
Theresa: I mean it, you two. I have had enough of your crap, your vicious putdowns, disparaging me, my family, and latinos everywhere, and I want you out of here now!
Ivy: No. We're not going anywhere.
Rebecca: No. Absolutely not.
Theresa: Oh, yes, you are.
Ivy: Oh, theres-- oh, theresa, stop!
Rebecca: What -- she's gone loco!
Ivy: Oh, this is just absurd -- enough, already -- theres-- stop, already! This is ridiculous!
Theresa: Get the hell out of my house!
Ivy: Fox, do something!
Fox: Theresa, it is snowing outside.
Theresa: I don't care if there's a raging blizzard out there. These two dragons have made my life miserable for years now. I tried to be nice. I let them share my home, and what did they do but pay me back with snideness, insults, and ridicule! They even trashed mama and my family, and I won't have it anymore!
Rebecca: Oh, well, you think you are so high and mighty. Well, let me tell you something, missy. You are still the housekeeper's daughter.
Ivy: Coarse and vulgar to the core.
Theresa: Both of you, leave!
Ivy: This is my home, theresa, and I have no intention of leaving. Now, shut the door. It's getting cold in here.
Theresa: Oh, I'll shut the door --
Theresa: After I put you two dogs out for good!
Ivy: Stop, theresa -- no!
Eve: That is my husband, this is my bedroom, thisss my house, and you are, in fact, not welcome anywhere. So just get down to that garage apartment and stay there.
Liz: Ok, sis, I'll leave. But you know what? Don't get too used to this. I'm sure you noticed how close T.C. And I are getting.
Eve: Oh, please.
Liz: See, I know what he wants and I know how he wants it.
Eve: Oh, you hateful bitch.
Liz: So I have a little advice for you -- enjoy the little time you have left with T.C. Because pretty soon, your husband will be my husband.
Eve: Go to hell. Oh, no.
Sheridan: Luis -- are you sure you want to do this?
Luis: Sheridan, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. We love each other. We're soul mates. We cannot keep on living this ridiculous lie. Sheridan, listen to me. If antonio is well enough to marry you, he's well enough to know the truth.
Antonio: I can't wait any longer on sheridan to help me take my medicine like she promised. I got to take it myself.
Beth: How dare luis and sheridan do this to me. First they tried to elope, only I stopped that from happening. Then sheridan marries antonio, leaving me enough time to marry luis before his brother croaks. Only now luis is having second thoughts. He said that he loved me, but I think he brought me here just so he could dump me for -- so he could be free to marry sheridan before his brother's even cold in the ground. That was not supposed to happen. I was just going to seduce luis and get him to marry me. Then he just goes off to get some fresh air, and five minutes later he's swearing his undying love to that two-timing slut sheridan. I will not let them get away with this. I'll kill them. I'll kill them both.
Beth: I am sick and tired of being treated this way!
Sheridan: Eve, it's sheridan. We're taking antonio to the hospital. Can you meet us there?
Eve: I can't promise you that he's going to make it through.
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