Passions Transcript Tuesday 10/01/02


Passions Transcript Tuesday 10/1/02--Canada; 10/2/02--USA

by Amanda

Theresa: Did you say that Alistair read my report?

Alistair's assistant: He wouldn't have asked for it otherwise.

Theresa: Right, of course. I'm sorry. And what did he think?

Assistant: Mr. Crane will tell you himself. But as I said, he's not in a good mood at the moment.

Theresa: Oh, no, he hated my report? But he can't judge me just on one sample. I mean, it's not fair.

Gwen: I knew you didn't have what it takes to make it in business, or to get Ethan back.

Ethan: Who's Theresa talking to?

Gwen: Alistair's assistant. Apparently, there's a problem with her report.

Ethan: Oh, no. She'll be crushed.

Gwen's voice: Yeah, if only.

Sam: Oh!

T.C.: Nice. That was nice.

Sam: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shooting the hoops with my best friend on a warm autumn day. Nothing like it.

T.C.: It is pretty sweet. It makes last night's weirdness at the cranes' seem like a bad dream. All right.

Sam: Call it out.

T.C.: Bank. Oh!

Sam: Yeah. Those visions we all had --

T.C.: Yeah. Eve and I were worried about how it would affect Simone, Whitney, and Chad. Yeah!

Sam: Oh!

T.C.: I got it. All right, come on. Bring it in here. Come on. Go left! Ok, three seconds left.

John: Dad, watch out!

David: Ooh!

Grace: I have never seen Julian so kind and generous as he just was. I'd like to think he'd stay nice, but I don't hold out much hope for that. Still, I'm glad that you and T.C. donít have to pay for Simone wrecking Julianís precious car.

Eve: Oh, me, too. I just wish I knew what had gotten into Julian.

Julian: Come now, Dr. Russell, you know what's gotten into me. It's you, eve. You.

Tabitha: I wonder where that dancing baby is headed? If only it were going to steal diapers from Beth Wallaceís mother. Something tells me it's not.

Connie: Whatever. I think I'll carve up the rest of the brat pack and stick candles in them for Halloween.

Tabitha: No way. I'm planning for those babies to spread pain and heartache in harmony. But first we've got to figure out what to do with those other two.

Connie: You mean three.

Tabitha: No. I mean two. There were three babies upstairs, and one just pranced out of the door. That leaves two.

Connie: Three. Count 'em and weep, witch.

Tabitha: Oh, no! That fourth mystery baby's back!

Miguel: Kay, I'm asking you again not to tell charity that we accidentally had sex. At least not yet. You know, I don't want to upset her after her heart transplant. You know, the shock could cause complications in her recovery and in our relationship. And I know you don't want that.

Charity: Kay? Miguel? Oh, my God. I know who you are.

[Charity screams]

Luis: Sheridan, I -- I can't go on like this, all right? You know, it's bad enough that you're living under the same roof as my brother, but now he thinks that the engagement ring that I gave you last night is from him!

Sheridan: The important thing is that I know it's from you, the fact that it's a symbol of our love and that some day you and I are going to get married.

Luis: Yeah? Well, I can't wait till some day. Sheridan, I'm losing it here, ok?

Sheridan: No, you canít. We can't let Antonio become suspicious, not when the shock of finding out about us could kill him.

Beth: So, congratulations on your formal engagement.

Antonio: Thanks, Beth. Hey, maybe we'll have that double wedding with you and Luis after all, huh?

Beth: Really? Because -- well, I thought you were considering eloping as soon as you could. Plus, everyone knows how long it takes to plan a real wedding, not to mention the expense.

Antonio: Yeah, you know, you're right.

Beth: And now that you've met the love of your life and she's wearing your ring, do you really want to wait that long to make her your lawfully wedded wife?

Antonio: No, I donít. You're right, Beth. I want to elope with Sheridan right away.

Singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and I would fly on the wings of the bird I knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life

[Charity screams]

Charity: Get away from me! You're an evil baby! Help! Help! Somebody help me! Help! Miguel! Help! Somebody help me! Please, somebody help me! Please, help!

Miguel: Charity? Charity, what is it? What's wrong? What's wrong?

Charity: Where did it go? It was coming to get me.

Kay: What was?

Charity: That horrible baby!

Miguel: What baby?

Tabitha: Oh -- oh! Don't just mess around! Help me! Help me stop these diaper-clad devils before they break everything I own!

Connie: Get real, princess! I love the chaos.

Tabitha: Oh!

Tabitha: No! No, no! Not my curtains! Put my curtains down! Ooh. Oh! Oh, these three babies are like an infant wrecking crew! They're supposed to cause pain and heartache for other people, not me! Oh, no! No! No, that's an antique plate! Leave it alone! Oh!

Connie: Yes!

Tabitha: Oh.

Oh. What -- what's up with this fourth baby? What is going on? And why does it seem to haunt me like this?

Connie: Don't ask me. Ask it.

Tabitha: You're right. I will. All right, you enfant terrible! Tell me, who is your mother?

Reese: Oh, my gosh. Tabitha's at it again.

Tabitha: Ah. Ah. Now I've got you, you baby, you.

Luis: Well, Sheridan -- ahem -- I hate to ask you this, but I have to know. Well, when Antonio was sleeping next to you last night, did he -- did he try and make love to you? I mean, look, I know that it would just be a natural thing because he thinks he's engaged to you, but -- but I was thinking about it. I couldn't sleep all last night.

Sheridan: I know how hard this is for you, and trust me; it is no cakewalk for me, either. But nothing happened last night. Antonio came back here and he slept like a baby.

Luis: Thank God.

Sheridan: Mm-hmm.

Luis: Because, you know, you can't give him a sleeping pill every night, all right? So sooner or later, you're going to have to tell him the truth or you're going to have to sleep with him to cover the truth.

Sheridan: Look, just try not to worry, ok? We'll manage somehow. The important thing is that it's you I'm going to marry someday, not Antonio.

Beth: You know, if you want to elope with Sheridan, I think you're right to do it now. I mean, autumn in New England is so beautiful with the leaves changing colors and the warm, clear days and the cool, crisp nights.

Antonio: It is my favorite time of year.

Beth: Yeah, it's magical, all right. And so romantic.

Antonio: Yeah. You know, I just need to find that special place that Sheridan and I can go tie the knot. You know, someplace as beautiful as she is, but where?

Beth: Well, only a suggestion, ok? But there's that wonderful little inn right outside of town. You know, the greystone.

Antonio: You are a genius, Beth. The greystone is perfect.

Beth: Just trying to help.

Antonio: Oh, that'll be great. In fact, I'm going to go tell Sheridan right now that we're going to go elope, and I want you and Luis to come there, too. That way you guys can be our witnesses.

Beth: Oh, no, no, no. No. You can't tell Luis.

Ivy: What's going on?

Pilar: Why does Theresa look upset?

Gwen: Well, she just turned in her report that she gave to Alistair, and his assistant says that he's in a bad mood after having received it.

Ivy: Well, I guess this falls into the category of be careful what you wish for.

Pilar: Theresa tried and failed. Maybe this will teach her that she can't have everything she wants.

Theresa: Please give me another chance. I mean, this is the first time I'm trying to satisfy Mr. Crane.

Alistair: Theresa.

Theresa: Mr. Crane.

Alistair: Stop badgering my assistant. Natasha has

other duties to perform.

Theresa: I'm very sorry. I don't mean to make your bad mood worse.

Alistair: Why, thank you. Thank you, Theresa. No one ever considers my feelings.

Ivy: I didn't know Alistair had feelings.

Alistair: I heard that, ivy. And to the contrary, I'm feeling something right now -- besides disdain for you. As for Theresaís report, I finished reading it, and I have but one thing to say -- good work!

John: Dad, you ok?

David: Yeah. All things considered, I'm fine.

T.C.: Whew.

Sam: Sorry, man. I didn't see you.

T.C.: David, if you want, I could take you down to the hospital and let eve take a look at you.

David: Yeah. Thanks, T.C. I'm fine.

John: Remember when we used to shoot hoops, dad?

David: Yeah, I do. Used to have a lot of fun playing basketball. Just never get a chance to play anymore.

Sam: Huh. Look, I can take care of that. What do you say you and I go a little one-on-one?

David: Now? Here?

Sam: Yeah. Here. Unless, of course, you're too tired.

David: Let's do it.

Sam: Ooh.

Eve: You know, it is sad to say, but except for the car, I can't think of one other generous action that Julianís ever taken.

Julian: Oh, eve, you know that's not true. I once gave you my heart and soul. In fact, you still have them.

Grace: I just hope he doesn't expect you to reward him for his generosity.

Eve: Grace, come on, I've threatened to castrate Julian on more than one occasion. He'd have to be a fool to think otherwise.

Grace: Well, just don't fall for him, you know? Don't be taken in by anything he says or does.

Eve: Grace, please don't worry. I would never trust Julian again in my life.

Grace: You sure?

Julian: Oh, your silence speaks volumes, eve. All of it, music to my ears.

Antonio: Well, what's the big deal? Why don't you want me to tell Luis that I'm eloping with Sheridan?

Beth: Eloping is supposed to be, you know, private, between the couple getting married. You don't want to spoil the surprise, do you?

Antonio: No, but how can you and Luis be witnesses if I don't tell Luis what Sheridan and I are up to?

Beth: The problem is if you tell Luis, he's going to feel like he has to tell you mother, and then pilar's going to want to get Miguel involved, and then they're going to insist that paloma be there, and before you know it, your whole family's involved. And then, you know, someone is going to blab to Sheridan, and she's going to want Gwen and Ethan and all their friends from the country club. And before you know it, you're not eloping anymore. You're back to planning a big old wedding that takes months and months to organize. So if you want to do it, you should just grab Sheridan and whisk her away. Huh?

Antonio: Beth, who do you think you're kidding?

Beth: Excuse me?

Antonio: I just realized why you don't want me to tell Luis that I'm eloping with Sheridan.

Charity: I don't -- I don't understand, Miguel. The baby was here. It was dancing around the room. It was dancing near the food. It was jumping on the bed. It must be here. Can you look under the bed or in the closet? It's hiding somewhere.

Miguel: Charity, charity, all right, you know what dr. Russell said. You have to stay calm during your recovery.

Charity: How can I stay calm when I know this thing is hiding somewhere in here?

Kay: Hey, charity, you know what? You're on a lot of drugs right now so that your body doesn't reject the heart transplant, and maybe you're just hallucinating it.

Charity: Ok, fine, I know that's possible, but I did not imagine this.

Miguel: Charity, listen to what you're saying, ok? Babies don't walk, much less dance and jump around on beds.

Charity: But I felt it near my -- Miguel -- Miguel, how did the pancake get here?

Kay: Ok, well, it's possible, yeah, that a baby spilled your food on your bed. Oh, my God. I just saw it.

Miguel: Kay, are you sure?

Kay: Yeah. I'm going to go catch it.

Charity: No, Kay, don't! Whatever you do, don't go find the baby. It's evil. It can ruin all of our lives.

Kay: Ok, charity, we can't just let a baby wander around the hospital, ok?

Charity: Kay, no, don't!

Kay: Oh! You little -- come back here!

Charity: Kay!

Miguel: Charity, charity, stay calm, all right? I'll go stop Kay from chasing the baby.

Charity: No, no, no, Miguel, please. Don't go get the baby. Whatever you do, just stay with me.

Tabitha: Now, you've heard of baby talk. So start talking. Tell me, who is your mother?

Reese: Jess! Jess, come look! Tabitha's running some kind of baby smuggling operation.

Jessica: Yeah? Well, at least you're not accusing her of being a witch.

Reese: There are three babies in there. And that doll is back again, too. I'd recognize her cracked face anywhere. That's definitely the one that stole my dad's sports car.

Jessica: Reese --

Reese: I'm serious. Come look.

Jessica: Oh -- here we go again.

Tabitha: I know you know who your mother is, so tell me.

[Pounding on door]

Tabitha: Oh, no. Someone's here. What are we going to do with all these damn babies?

Connie: How about we give them to fluffy to raise as her kittens?

Reese: Tabitha! Open up! We know you're in there!

Tabitha: Oh, no, it's that wretched Ross. Take these babies and hide them!

Connie: Why should I? Let them blow you out of the water.

Tabitha: If I go down, what do you think's going to happen to you, hmm?

Connie: Good point! Ok, babies, get in the closet.

Reese: Tabitha!

Tabitha: Coming, dear.

Connie: I said get in the closet now! Or Michael Jackson gets to adopt you. Heh-heh-heh. Get!

Tabitha: Oh, Ross, Jessica! What a pleasant surprise.

Reese: Where are they?

Tabitha: Who? Who?

Reese: That scarface doll and those crazy babies, that's who.

Tabitha: Oh, Ross, don't tell me you're seeing things again. Babies running through my house is as implausible as me being a witch.

Reese: Oh, yeah? Then who are they?

Antonio: I see what's really going on here.

Beth: You do?

Antonio: Yeah, of course. See, you want to have Luis all to yourself on your wedding day without having Sheridan and me intruding.

Beth: No, Antonio. I'm not that selfish. Well, maybe just a little.

Antonio: Look, it's all right. I know what it's like to be in love with someone with all your heart, you know, beyond reason.

Beth: Yeah. Beyond reason. That's how I love Luis.

Antonio: You don't have to worry about me. I am not going to rain on your parade, ok?

Beth: Thank you.

Antonio: Now, you'd better go get Luis out of here so I can Sheridan that we're going to elope, right?

Beth: Oh, no, no. You can't tell her.

Antonio: Why not?

Beth: Because you should keep it a secret from her, too. I mean, it should be, you know, romantic, so you could just whisk her away for a romantic ceremony and then -- just think of when you're at the justice of the peace, how could she say no, huh?

Antonio: You think?

Beth: Listen, if this is going to work, you can't tell anyone you're eloping, not even Sheridan. .

Singer: You are my passion for life

Theresa: Thank you for complimenting me, Alistair. It's very kind of you.

Alistair: I'm not being kind, my dear. As everyone there with you knows, it's not in my nature. No, Theresa, I'm simply being honest. You made a good first effort with your first assignment as a crane vice president. Once I finish some pressing business, I'll e-mail my notes to you. You're to incorporate them into a second draft right away.

Theresa: I will, and I will do a bang-up job.

Alistair: It's what being a crane is all about.

Ethan: Theresa, you did it. You passed his first test.

Theresa: I couldn't have done it without you! Thank you so much for helping me.

Ivy: It's nauseating, I know, but don't let Theresa and Ethanís closeness get to you. It's a temporary setback.

Phyllis: Excuse me, ma'am. Little Ethan is getting lonely without his mama.

Theresa: Oh, thank you for bringing him down, Phyllis. Oh, come here. Mommy is so sorry she's been so busy. Oh, yes.

Ethan: Well, if it's ok, I can play with the baby while you work on your report. I mean, Alistair -- he's going to want those revisions as soon as possible, and if he thinks you're taking time out with the baby, good work will turn into "good riddance."

Theresa: Thanks for looking out for me. It means a lot.

Ethan: Sure.

Gwen: I think this might be more than just a temporary setback. Theresa has two things Ethan wants -- an opportunity to work at crane industries and his namesake.

Sam: If I make this basket,

Sam: If I make this basket, it's over.

John: I've never seen my dad play so rough before.

T.C.'S voice: Yeah, because they're playing for a much bigger prize.

Sam: You see? I knew I'd win in the end.

David: Congratulations. How much do I owe you?

Sam: I don't want your money. I want my wife's annulment.

David: Well, technically speaking, Sam, grace is my wife.

Sam: Look, I want the annulment, David, and I don't care how you get it. Lie if you have to! Just get your marriage to grace annulled.

David: We've discussed this. I'm not going to lie before church and God, nor does grace want me to. And cook.

Candice: Okay, and you use this for an eat-in kitchen, too?

Joyce: Yes, I like the table and chairs, but anything else, everything else can go.

Candice: So when we're done our divine design on this awful kitchen, how would you he didn't make an issue about Simone wrecking his car; he's going to be sorely disappointed.

Grace: Yeah, I know. Just be careful. I mean, Julian is up to something. I just don't know what.

Eve: Well, I'm not going to worry about it anymore. I don't think you should, either. I can handle myself with Julian crane.

Grace: Ok, just be careful because I sense that evil's in town -- all those visions that everyone's had, the strange way Julian is acting, and Kay, too. It's just --

Kay: Did you see it?

Grace: See what?

Kay: The -- it -- never mind. You wouldn't believe me anyway, mom.

Grace: You see?

Antonio: How does a surprise elopement work? I mean, if I plan on taking her away for a couple of days, I have to tell her so she'll know what clothes to pack.

Beth: No, you donít. I can pack for her. I mean, I know what a woman would want to take for her honeymoon. I'll just go put a few things in a bag and then I can hide it in the trunk of your car and she wouldn't suspect a thing.

Antonio: You know what? That's a great idea, Beth. Thank you. Thanks.

Beth: Believe me, the pleasure is all mine. But remember, we have to keep this between us, ok? Don't tell Luis or Sheridan that I helped you because I want you to get full credit, ok?

Antonio: You know, does Luis know how sneaky you are?

Beth: No, and he can never know. All right, are you ready?

Antonio: You bet.

Beth: Sheridan, could I use your restroom?

Sheridan: Yeah, of course.

Beth: Ok, thanks.

Sheridan: Here you go.

Antonio: Thank you.

Sheridan: Mm-hmm.

Antonio: Hey, you know what I was thinking? I'd like to take you to lunch somewhere special today. I know this great inn out in the middle of the country. What do you say?

Sheridan: It sounds wonderful.

Luis: Yeah, you know what? Beth and I, we'd love to go with you. Huh?

Sheridan: Yeah. Z >

Jessica: Reese, you're pointing into thin air.

Reese: Oh! But I knew I saw that doll and some babies in here.

Connie: Keep quiet! If Reese hears you bratty babies, it'll blow Tabithaís plan sky-high and I'll be doing time for grand theft auto.

Tabitha: Please, Ross! I'm still in mourning, you know? When Ross behaves like this, it's really very upsetting.

Jessica: Reese, knock it off! Look, a doll didn't steal your dad's car, and there are no babies!

Reese: But I saw her, crack and all.

Jessica: Reese, stop acting ridiculous. And stop upsetting Tabitha.

Reese: All right. But there is a new living doll in town, and Tabithaís running some sort of bizarro daycare center for circus babies.

Jessica: Tabitha, we're so sorry. Please forgive us.

Tabitha: I always do.

Jessica: You -- you need to get your glasses checked. Come on. Get!

Tabitha: I've got to find out what's going on with those babies if it's the last thing I do!

Tabitha: Listen up, you denizens down under! I want answers, and I want them now. Who is the mother of that foul fourth baby? I demand that you tell me!

Grace: I wonder what Kayís up to now.

Kay: Hey, stop. I don't want to hurt you. I just want to take you back to your mom, ok, so you're safe. All right. Now, just hold still so I can pick you up, ok? Ah! That little thing kicked me?

Beth: Sheridan won't have an excuse not to sleep with Antonio once he sees what she packed for their time alone together.

[Beth chuckles]

Beth: Now, what else can I find to make it so Sheridan has no choice but to sleep with Luis' brother?

Oh. Sheridan's diaphragm -- perfect. Wait a minute. If Sheridan gets stuck in having to sleep with Antonio, she might as well get the most bang for her buck. A little hole here, a little hole there. Hmm, done. Now, with any luck, Sheridan will get stuck sleeping with Antonio tonight and get pregnant doing it. Hmm. And I'll get Luis.

Antonio: Sorry, Luis. The four of us can do lunch another time. Today is just one of those days that I want to spend alone with the woman I love. You understand, right? Thanks for accepting my proposal.

Sheridan: Oh, it's only lunch.

Antonio: Yeah, but I want to make it an occasion that you'll never forget.

Beth: You're wrong, mother. It's not my fate to take care of you -- nope -- because it is only a matter of time before I become Mrs. Luis Lopez Fitzgerald.

Theresa: Ethan, after I redo my report with Alistairís notes, I would love to take you out to lunch for helping me.

Gwen: Ethan was supposed to have lunch with me today.

Ethan: Actually, I can't today. I promised Gwen I would take her to lunch.

Theresa: Oh. That's all right. We'll have another time.

Ivy: You see, Gwen, Ethan helping Theresa with that stupid report was a temporary setback.

Ethan: Well, good luck with the revisions. I'm sure you'll do fine without me.

Pilar: Theresa?

Theresa: Hmm?

Pilar: I'm very proud of what you have just accomplished with Alistair. But I must admit, I'm relieved that Ethan passed on having lunch with you. It's obvious he loves Gwen and he'd much rather be with her. So please accept that and move on with your life -- without Ethan.

Theresa: You're wrong, mama. It's not over between Ethan and me, not by a long shot. Is it, little Ethan?

Julian: Eve, at our meeting, the hospital board voted to commend you for charity's heart transplant.

Eve: Really? Well, I'm flattered.

Julian: Yes, at least little Timmyís death wasn't in vain.

Grace: No, we're all grateful to Timmy, especially my niece.

Eve: Grace, I need to talk to Julian in private for a moment.

Grace: All right. I'll just be around, over here.

Eve: Ok.

Julian: What is it that you would like to talk to me about in private?

Eve: Well, I'd like to thank you again for your generosity last night in letting T.C. And I off the hook for Simone wrecking your car.

Julian: Well, it's --

Eve: But if you did what you did last night because somewhere in the deep, dark, twisted recesses of your mind you think that you could win me back, you are so wrong. There is no way, Julian. There is no way that I'm ever going to be yours again. I love my husband, only my husband.

Julian: Oh, God, eve. Now I want you more than ever.

Connie: You babies stay in here or I'll staple you into Siamese triplets.

Tabitha: Hey! Hey! Hey! I didn't just ask you boys a question. I demanded that you tell me -- who is that fourth dancing baby? I'm the one who set in action all the misery these babies represent, but my plans call for three babies, not four! So if there's more havoc to be wreaked, I want to know who it involves. And what's more, I have a right to know!

Demon: Look at your contract, Tabitha! You don't have the right to know a damn thing. Furthermore, if you haven't guessed by now who bambino numero cuatro belongs to, you're one witless witch!

Tabitha: Well, can't you just give me a hint?

Demon: You'll know everything all in good time. But trust us, given what's swimming in the fourth baby's gene pool, it'll bring more chaos and heartache than the other three babies combined!

Tabitha: Oh. Oh. Oh, ghouls and goblins. This fourth baby means trouble, and I mean big trouble. But for who?

Connie: Forget about the fourth brat. It's locked in the closet with the other two.

You need to worry about the brat that got away. If someone finds it, you're in a whole heap of dirty diapers.

Kay: Ha-ha! No escaping this time, and no kicking, either. Come back here!

Miguel: Charity, what is it?

Charity: Something terrible is happening, Miguel. I can just feel it. There's so much evil, unhappiness, and total despair.

Antonio: I cannot wait to get out to the country and have some lunch at the grey stone inn.

Luis: Yeah.

Antonio: Luis, Beth, we'll see you guys later.

Luis: All right. Bye-bye. You be careful.

[Car engine starts]

Beth: Hey, are you sure you're all right with this?

Luis: Yeah, well, I wasn't at first, but then I got to thinking. They're just going to have lunch in the country, right?

Beth: Yeah.

Luis: What's the worst thing that could happen?

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