Passions Transcript Tuesday 7/2/02



Passions Transcript Tuesday 7/2/02

By Suzanne

Man: Who'd have thunk it? You're even more pretty-looking in the morning!

[Julian screams]

tabitha: Looks to me as if somebody's about to defrost.

Zombie charity: No, no. She can't defrost, damn it. Not yet. Not until I've done the deed with miguel.

Tabitha: Well, I do see your dilemma. If real charity gets free and makes love to miguel before you do, her powers of goodness will kick in and you will kick the bucket.

Zombie charity: Shut up and let me think. Hmm. Heathens of dark, heathens of old, help me keep the pure one cold.

Zombie charity: This is all your fault.

Tabitha: My fault? How do you figure that?

Zombie charity: Yeah, you and your little scamp you call a sidekick.

Tabitha: Timmy's been on the run for weeks now. You can hardly blame your lack of success on him.

Zombie charity: Oh, no? Why do you think the golden girl here is melting? Because your precious tim-tim is getting closer to the demon's horn.

Tabitha: Oh, yes. The final ingredient he needs for the spell to save his charity.

Zombie charity: Yeah, I know what it is, thanks. If she defrosts, it's all tim-tim's fault.

Tabitha: All right, blame the lad if it makes you feel better. But if i were you, i'd take a good, hard look in the mirror because if you were able to seduce miguel, you wouldn't be losing this great battle between good and evil. Obviously, your powers aren't as enticing as you thought they were.

Zombie charity: Ooh, is that what you think? Miguel doesn't know it yet, but this is his last day on earth.

Miguel: I wonder where charity took off to. I was kind of counting on her being around this morning.

Kay: Well, I'm sure she'll turn up soon.

Miguel: I hope so. I don't know how i'm going to get through any of this without her. They can't kill my sister.

Kay: I just hope the real charity defrosts soon before the zombie kills you, miguel.

Miguel: Let me hold him, mama.

Pilar: Sure. He's been an angel.

Luis: Theresa was just like that when she was a baby. I guess she was saving up for all the talking she was going to do later.

Pilar: I wish she would just speak up now and name the person who really murdered julian crane.

Hank: I wish there was something I could do, bro.

Sam: Yeah, me, too. You know, I became a cop to save people's lives, not to sit back and watch an innocent young woman be put to death.

Grace: I thought maybe everybody could use something to eat.

Reese: The morning paper's here.

Sam: Reese!

Pilar: Oh, God.

Luis: Damn them. Damn whoever killed julian, and damn alistair crane for not even lifting a finger to save my sister.

Theresa: Ethan, i knew you'd --

guard: It's just me with your breakfast. I got you an extra piece of toast this morning -- you know, considering what's going on and all.

Theresa: Oh. Well, that was very thoughtful of you, but I won't need it because I'm going to be here tomorrow for breakfast.

Bertha: Oh, you think so, miss fancy pants theresa?

Theresa: Leave me alone, bertha.

Bertha: Suit yourself. I just thought you'd might like to see today's paper.

Bertha: So, where are all your big-shot, last-minute saviors, huh? Where are all those cranes who wouldn't let one of their own be executed? Hmm, maybe they're sleeping in today.

[Bertha laughs]

theresa: Where are you, ethan? Why aren't you here?

Ethan: Gary, you're my last hope. All right, just tell the governor that you're willing to take a stand because if he doesn't feel alone, he just might change his mind and grant a stay of execution after all. Look, don't you understand? An innocent person's life is at stake. I just need time to file an appeal. Alistair got to you, didn't he? No, just answer me. All those years I was a crane, and I never realized till now how evil they were. Damn you, alistair. You've decided you want theresa executed, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Theresa: You'll save me, ethan. I know you will.

Singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and i would fly on the wings of the bird i knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life

julian: Timmy, come here. Will you help me, for God's sake?

Man: Watch it, hot lips. We don't like people taking the lord's name in vain around here.

Julian: This is hardly what i would call "in vain."

Man: Hmm, i see you helped yourself to my moonshine. Be careful, though. It's got a powerful kick.

Julian: Thank you for the timely advice.

Timmy: Where's toto?

Man: Oh, don't worry about your little four-legged friend. Yeah, he's been out chasing possum since early this morning. If he catches some, boy, we'll have us a great stew tonight.

Julian: Oh -- oh, that won't be necessary. We're leaving right now as soon as i can see again.

Man: Oh, no, no. Not till you've had yourself a good old down-home breakfast. Now, you come on up to the house when you're ready, you hear? Don't keep me waiting, you hear?

Julian: We have to get out of here before he comes back.

Timmy: And miss out on breakfast? Timmy doesn't know about julian, but timmy needs an extra good breakfast this morning.

Julian: What's so special about today?

Timmy: Today's the day timmy has to find the demon's horn so he can save the real charity.

Julian: Don't tell me -- the one who's trapped in a block of ice in a cave back in harmony.

Timmy: That's the one. At least timmy has one clue -- the symbol of the demon's horn.

Julian: Let's get something straight between us, young man. This is your mission, not mine. I could have ditched you back in oz, but i was afraid you'd tell people I was still alive.

Timmy: Julian can trust timmy.

Julian: Ye but just to be safe, I'm not going to let you out of my sight -- that is when he returns. Though i must admit, I don't know how much longer i can take this bizarre escapade of yours. First, i'm almost mauled to death by tiny munchkins, and now I wake up in the middle of some twisted version of "the beverly hillbillies." God.

[Banjos plays]

julian: My God, no. It's much worse than that. I'm here in the most frightening horror film of all time.

Timmy: "A.I."?

Julian: No, timmy. "Deliverance" is much scarier.

Timmy: Timmy's never seen that one. What happens?

Julian: You don't want to know, timmy.

Timmy: Don't worry. Timmy and julian can leave as soon as timmy has his breakfast. Timmy will need all his strength for his quest.

Man: On second thought, how about I walk you up to the house?

Tabitha: Really, I hardly think you'll be able to seduce miguel on the day of his sister's execution.

Zombie charity: Oh, well, he'll need to turn to somebody for comfort, and that somebody's going to be me.

Tabitha: Well, what about kay? You know she'll do anything to undermine your efforts.

Zombie charity: Let her try. She can't stop me. Nobody can. Now, let's go. We've got things to do.

Kay: Excuse us.

Zombie charity: Ooh. Easy on the merchandise. I don't want any bruises on my naked body when I get it into bed with miguel.

Kay: How low can you go? His sister is about to be put to death by lethal injection, and all you can think about is getting him into bed? Give it a rest, at least for today, because he feels terrible.

Zombie charity: Well, don't worry about it. Pretty soon he's not going to feel anything at all.

Sam: Well, did you come up with anything that we could use to clear theresa?

Pilar: Anything to give us more time?

Ethan: I'm sorry, pilar. Alistair's cut off every option i can think of.

[Phone rings]

ethan: This may be the judge that i called before. Yes? Judge morrison, thanks for calling me back. Look, I understand, but before you say no, just let me -- damn it.

Sam: He hung up?

Ethan: That was it. I mean, that was our last hope. There's nothing else i can do.

Pilar: Then my little girl is going to die.

Theresa: Oh, whitney! Is there any news? Have you talked to ethan this morning?

Whitney: No, no, I haven'T. Um --

theresa: Well, I'm sure that he's on his way because, well, he's not going to let anything happen to me.

Whitney: You saw the paper, right?

Theresa: Yeah, well, what do they know? I mean, gosh, this went to the press some time last night. Ethan has had hours since then to contact powerful people who can grant me a stay of execution just by signing their name.

Whitney: Listen to me, theresa.

Theresa: No, not if you're going to make me feel bad.

Whitney: For once in your life, you got to get real! It's bad. It's worse than bad, all right? Now, we have one chance left to save your life. Ok? All you got to do is stop covering for whoever it is that you're protecting. Tell the authorities that you aren't the one who really killed julian crane.

Guard: Sorry to bother you, but the warden wants to know what you'd like for dinner.

Theresa: Dinner? It's still morning.

Guard: It's just that if it's anything fancy, we'll have to send out.

Theresa: Fancy? My God. It's going to be my last meal.

Whitney: Baby. Oh, God. Do youelieve me now? Huh?

Boy: How did you sleep, shorty?

Timmy: Very well, thank you. But timmy's name is timmy.

Boy: You think you're better than we are, don't you?

Timmy: Oh, no. Timmy didn't mean any offense. It's just where timmy comes from, boys don't usually wear dresses.

Boy: This is all I've got to wear -- my sister's hand-me-downs.

Timmy: Timmy's sorry. He didn't know. When timmy gets home, he's going to use the advance from tabitha's new book to get that boy some pants.

Man: Nice little pal you got there. Yeah, just for that, i'm going to let you read the funnies first.

Boy: Grandpa must like you. He never lets anybody read the comics before him.

Man: Well, it's not every day that you run into somebody with such pretty eyes.

Julian: Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you.

Woman: Don't worry none. Hardly nobody ever does. The name's lydia, but everyone around here calls me ma. Are you the guy who slept in the shed last night?

Julian: Yes, myself and my traveling companion timothy over there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read the newspaper.

Lydia: Mm-hmm.

Julian: God, i don't believe it. My nubile, little bride is about to be executed.

Lydia: Breakfast, y'all!

Timmy: Why'd she scream so loud when everyone's already here?

Boy: Are you kidding? Ma was calling the other kids.

Zombie charity: Mmm, isn't it just too delish? Theresa's about to die for julian's murder, and we know he isn't even dead yet. Nice irony, if i do say so myself.

Tabitha: Now, don't you dare try and take credit for all this. I planted the seeds for this tragedy years ago.

Zombie charity: Ok, fine. We'll share the credit. For those of you who think that theresa's life is going to be saved by julian's coming back from the dead just in the nick of time, don't get your hopes up. No, julian won't be back till after the execution.

Tabitha: Who on earth are you talking to?

Zombie charity: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Guard: I'll come back later.

Theresa: My last meal. My last day on earth. The last time I'm going to see you, my family, my baby.

Whitney: See, that's what i was trying to tell you. But you know, it's not too late. We still have a chance.

Theresa: You don't get it, whitney. I did what i had to do.

Whitney: And I'm doing what i have to do to try to save the life of someone I love like my own sister. I mean, how am i supposed to go on? How am i supposed to go on with my life without you? Who am i going to call every single morning and tell my dreams to? Who am i going to laugh at ozzy osbourne with? How am i ever going to keep things on track with chad without all of your relationship mistakes to learn from? How am i supposed to want to go on with my life without my very best friend?

Theresa: Stop it, whitney.

Whitney: No, you stop it. We've been best friends ever since first grade, and you've always been the crazy one in the relationship, and that's what i loved about you. Until now. Until it's threatening to take you away from me. Please. You know, it's like I was always ethel to your lucy, you know? It was just another one of your harebrained schemes, and nobody gets hurt. But, please, I'm begging you. Don't do this to me or to the rest of your family. But especially, don't do this to your baby.

Timmy: Timmy loves his breakfast. What does julian think of his?

Julian: Julian wouldn't know.

Lydia: More hotcakes, kids.

Julian: Oh, finally.

Man: I didn't know you cared.

Julian: Ah!

Man: What's the matter with your friend? Is he the shy type?

Timmy: Oh, julian's just worried about timmy's perilous quest.

Man: What quest is that?

Timmy: Timmy's searching for a rare ingredient for a spell so timmy can save the real charity.

Man: Is that right?

Timmy: But he has to hurry, or zombie charity will kill her before timmy gets home.

Man: Well, what is this special ingredient you need?

Timmy: It's called the demon's horn.

Man: Demon's horn? Why didn't you say so? I can take you to that right now.

Zombie charity: Did you miss me?

Miguel: Yeah. Where were you?

Zombie charity: I just had to run a couple of errands. But I'm back. I'm all yours.

Miguel: Thanks, but all I can think about right now is theress execution. I'm sorry.

Zombie charity: For what?

Miguel: Not being able to focus on us right now. I still want to make love to you. It's just I'm afraid i don't know when it's going to be. You understand, don't you?

Zombie charity: Miguel, of course I understand. How selfish do you think i am?

Miguel: No, no, not at all. I know that you're the most generous person I've ever met, and I knew you'd understand.

Luis: Damn that judge.

Miguel: Excuse me.

Zombie charity: Ok.

Kay: You are running out of time. And you can't seduce miguel without a spell, can you?

Zombie charity: Oh, relax. I have it all under control.

Kay: Do you? Because it doesn't look that way to me. You're going to bomb this one, zombie. And you know why? Because even though you do a pretty good job of impersonating the real charity, you don't have her essential goodness, and miguel senses that. That's why he hasn't made love to you yet, and that's the reason he never will.

Tabitha: Why the sourpuss?

Zombie charity: Kay's a royal pain in the butt. But you know, she just gave me an idea. I know how i'm going to get miguel to make love to me.

Theresa: I know ethan. And I know that he's not going to let me down.

Whitney: Maybe not on purpose, but he's done everything that he can think of, both legal and illegal, and he's come up completely empty. You're not going to get a last-minute pardon unless you recant your confession. Without that, you will be put to death tonight.

Theresa: Whitney, they're not going to go through with this. I mean, it's too cruel and inhumane. Look, I'm a young mother with a newborn baby. Yeah, I may be, like, a little impetuous sometimes, but I never intentionally hurt anyone.

Whitney: You confessed to murdering one of the most powerful men in the country. That's all it takes to bring your life to a screeching end. And I'm telling you, they're going to go through with it. How -- how can you do this to all the people who love you and who need you so much?

Theresa: I know that you don't understand this. But I am doing the right thing. All of you, including my son, are going to be fine. He's in such good hands.

Sam: What did the attorney general say?

Ethan: He won't even take my call. Alistair's gotten to everyone who could delay the execution.

Grace: Look, ethan, you have done everything humanly possible.

Sam: Yeah.

Ethan: And failed. I mean, I swore I'd help theresa and I've let her down.

[Phone rings]

sam: Ahem. Sam bennett. Yeah, right. We'll be right over.

Pilar: Was it a reprieve?

Sam: I'm sorry, pilar. It was the prison. They said if we wanted to see theresa, we should go now. And if anybody wants to change, I think now's the time to do it.

Luis: Mama, maybe you shouldn't go.

Pilar: And not be there for my daughter? Of course I'll go. I'll go and I'll let my grandson say good-bye to the mother he'll never know.

Singer: You are my passion for life

timmy: Come on, julian. ) % Ind! I'm coming!

Guard: You've got more visitors. You want me to bring them back?

Theresa: Yes, please.

Tabitha: Well, what's your new strategy for seducing miguel?

Zombie charity: You'll see. I owe it all to kay. She said that miguel would never make love to me because somewhere deep down inside, he senses I'm not the real charity.

Tabitha: So how are you going to change that?

Zombie charity: My laboratory.

Tabitha: Oh, please. Let me out of here if you're creating a new frankenstein. I knew the old one quite intimately, and, trust me, he was a total disaster.

Zombie charity: No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to be creating a potion to imbue me with the essence of charity.

Tabitha: Whatever floats your boat.

Zombie charity: Oh, it's not my boat I'm worried about. Once miguel senses my nauseating sweetness, it'll be a cinch to get him into bed.

Tabitha: Fine, fine. Do whatever you have to do. I have my own affairs to attend to.

Tabitha: Scroll, scroll. Please, show me my timmy. I need to know where he is. I need to know he's safe and sound.

Man: Sure am glad you decided to come along.

Julian: I really had no choice. It was the lesser of two evils.

Man: Come again?

[Banjos play]

julian: Uh -- never mind.

Man: Stop! Don't move a muscle!

Julian: What now? Bigfoot?

Luis: I love you.

Miguel: You are the best sister that anyone could ever have.

Theresa: You guys -- no, stop talking like this, ok? Ethan is still working on a last-minute reprieve, isn't he?

Ethan! Ethan, i knew you'd come! Hi. Tell my brothers to stop being such worry warts.

Ethan: I wish i could.

Theresa: What do you mean?

Ethan: Alistair's gotten to everyone. They won't postpone the execution.

Theresa: But I don't understand. What did i ever do to alistair?

Ethan: You don't have to do anything. That's just how he is. I'm sorry.

Theresa: No, don't be. I knew the risks when I first confessed.

Ethan: I just wish there was something else i could do to stop this.

Theresa: No, don'T. This is how it's got to be. That's all.

Bertha: Your baby came to say good-bye.

Pilar: Theresa.

Theresa: Hey. There's my munchkin. Hi, pretty boy. Oh, yes. It's so nice to see you. Did you know that regular pads are designed to best fit a size six !

Man: Don't move, peaches! I got something I want to show you.

Timmy: Timmy doesn't understand what the old guy wants.

Julian: Well, I have my suspicions, but i'll keep them to myself.

[Banjos play]

julian: Oh, God. Timmy, what we have to do now is get away from here. Come on, let's go.

Julian: What is this? Let us out!

Man: Now, why would i do that when i've got you right where i want you -- in my trusty varmint trap?

Timmy: Julian, look! He's got the sign of the demon's horn on his hands!

Man: Told you i knew where you could find it. Now, you two just rest comfy till me and my boys are ready for you.

Timmy: Oh! If timmy doesn't get to harmony soon, he'll never be able to save the real charity.

Kay: Less water is seeping out now. I hope charity's still melting. Once she's free, she can save miguel. I think it stopped. I wonder if that means she's all melted. Or maybe the zombie found a way to keep charity's ice block frozen.

Zombie charity: I've done it! I've distilled the essence of charity!


Zombie charity: Once i put this on, miguel won't be able to resist me. I'll make love to him, and then he'll die.

Tabitha: "Theresa lopez fitzgerald crane executed!" But how could that be? Oh, of course -- this is tomorrow's newspaper. Oh -- oh, what's this? Oh, no. Oh, no. Could that be timmy? Oh, no. No, please don't let my timmy die.

[Baby ethan fusses]

theresa: Hush little baby don't say a word mama's going to buy you a mockingbird and if that mockingbird don't sing mama' going to buy you a diamond ring I love you. You know how much I loved you. Hmm?

(this may be incomplete, I'm not sure)

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