Luis: What did you just say?
Beth: I said your brother, antonio, is in the room next door.
sheridan: If your brother doesn't answer this phone, I'm just going to go over there and see him in person.
Whitney: Don't do this, theresa. This could only give you more grief.
Theresa: Maybe it will, whitney. But maybe I'll be the one who causes some grief.
Woman: Yes? May i help you?
Theresa: You certainly may. Take my bag to my room, please.
Woman: Excuse me?
Theresa: You heard me. Take my bag to my room.
Woman: And you are?
Theresa: Mrs. Julian crane. And I'm coming home.
Woman: Oh, well. Now we have two too many mrs. Julian cranes.
Theresa: No, we don't. I'm the only legal one. Neither ivy nor rebecca were married to julian at the time of his death. I was. So, I'm going to my room.
Kay: What a good idea, charity. You're so thoughtful. Miguel can stay upstairs in your room, and you can sleep on here on the couch.
Zombie charity: Me?
Kay: Mm-hmm. And if you need anything at all, just call. I'm across the hall.
Miguel: Well, if it's cool with charity --
kay: Good, then it's settled. Come on, let's go to bed.
Miguel: Did you feel that, kay? What the heck was it?
Sam: I know you're all nervous about the d.N.A. Results -- the waiting.
John: It's ok. I mean, we both know in our hearts we're mother and son. Nothing can keep us from believing that.
Grace: John's right. And the test results are just a formality.
Rebecca: Well, why not have eve read the rest results? I mean, I, for one, am getting tired of waiting -- well, for grace to get the good news, of course.
Grace: Right. Look, I know this is really bad timing, with your house and everything, but --
pilar: It's all right. You want to read the test results. I understand, grace.
Grace: Thanks. Ok, eve. Would you read the results, please?
Tabitha: This is it, timmy. Finally. Nothing can stop the truth from raining down on their heads now.
Ivy: No! Ah --
singer: I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet and i would fly on the wings of the bird i knew could take me highest breathe in, breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of me you are my passion for life
theresa: Be it ever so humble. And badly decorated.
Woman: But you can't stay here. This is mrs. Crane's bedroom.
Theresa: Well, that works perfectly, seeing as i am mrs. Julian crane.
Woman: Whatever you call yourself, this is my employer's room. I can't let you stay here. If i did, I'd get fired.
Theresa: Look, I want to make this easy on you. What's your name?
Theresa: Ok, phyllis. I'm your new boss. Ivy is out. But don't worry, i will protect you. I'll give you a raise, benefits, even a 401k plan. But you have to listen to what i tell you, not ivy. Do you got it?
Phyllis: I think so.
Theresa: Good. Now we'll begin with that hideous bedspread. You know, I just -- ugh! I've always hated it. I want the pretty blue one from the room next door.
Whitney: Theresa, what you're doing is wrong. You need to stop.
Theresa: Are you kidding, whitney? I've only just begun. Wait till you see what i do with these walls. Here. Take it away. Toss it, burn it, do what you want. Just get it out of my sight. Benefits -- medical, dental, including orthodontia. Now, you may need that. The bedspread. Hmm.
Whitney: What's wrong with you?
Theresa: The color of these walls, whitney, that is what's wrong. I have got to change them.
Whitney: You need to stop this right now. You've gone crazy.
Theresa: I don't know about crazy, but definitely ugly.
Whitney: You know, you may think this is real funny. But this isn't the theresa lopez fitzgerald that I know and love. You're acting like some selfish, wannabe diva.
Theresa: Because I'm not theresa lopez fitzgerald anymore, whitney. I'm mrs. Julian crane. And it's started acting like a crane.
Ivy: Help me! Ah!
Ethan: It's all right. You ok?
Sam: I've got her. Ethan, help me. Ready?
Ethan: One --
sam: One, two, three.
ivy: Oh. Oh.
Ethan: Mother, are you all right? What happened?
Ivy: I don't know. I was sitting here one minute, and the next, the chair was just tipping over. I guess the ground must be soft or something.
Sam: Seems pretty solid to me.
Ethan: Maybe the ground's still wet from the fire hoses.
Sam: Yeah, maybe.
Ivy: Ow! Oh.
Sam: What's wrong?
Ivy: I don't know. It's the pain in my back. It's excruciating. It's, like, someone's stabbing me in the spine. Ooh!
Miguel: What was that? It felt like some kind of jolt or flash or something. You felt it, too, didn't you kay?
Miguel: Where'd it come from?
Kay: Maybe it was just a gust of cold air from the chimney.
Miguel: No, it didn't feel cold to me. It was hot.
Kay: Well, dad had a fire going in there earlier. Maybe the air in the flue's still warm? Unless you can think of a better explanation, charity?
Zombie charity: Oh, your explanation's as good as any.
Kay: Let's just go upstairs.
Miguel: All right.
Zombie charity: Just a second! I just, I don't think you should sleep upstairs, miguel. I think you should sleep here on the couch.
Kay: Oh? Why is that?
Zombie charity: You know, kay.
Kay: If you're worried about mom and dad --
miguel: You know, charity's right. I shouldn't even go upstairs. I promised chief bennett i'd sleep on the couch, and that's what i'm going to do.
Kay: But, miguel, i know my parents wouldn't mind --
miguel: I know, I know. But I'm a guest in your father's house, and i'm going to abide by his rules.
Zombie charity: Good idea.
Miguel: I'll be fine down here, kay. You got a really comfortable couch.
Kay: Ok. Well, I'll get you an extra blanket and pillow, then.
Zombie charity: So, I guess we have to say good night.
Kay: Miguel? Are you sure you're going to be ok down here?
Miguel: Yeah. I'm sure.
Zombie charity: Thanks for giving us a moment, kay.
Kay: Let's go.
Miguel: Hey, before you go, I just wanted to say i'm sorry for everything that happened tonight.
Zombie charity: The fire? That wasn't your fault.
Miguel: No, I know. I just, I mean, somehow, i feel responsible for putting you in danger.
Zombie charity: Well, you shouldn't feel that way.
Kay: No, there's no reason at all for you to feel that way, miguel. I think it was probably just God, working in mysterious ways.
Zombie charity: Yeah, or some maniac arsonist on the loose in the neighborhood. On second thought, i think i should stay up, watch out for him or her.
Kay: No, that won't be necessary, charity. You know that my father's the chief of police. If there's any trouble, he'll take care of it. We should go upstairs. Good night, miguel.
Miguel: Yeah, good night.
Zombie charity: After you.
Kay: No. After you.
Zombie charity: I insist.
Kay: No, really. I insist.
Luis: My brother? Antonio is in the room next door?
sheridan: Pick up! Damn it, who do you think you are?
Beth: Luis, you better get the phone.
luis: Yeah. Hello?
Brian: Come on, diana, hang up.
Shidan: No! Why don't you talk to your brother?
Brian: Because my brother doesn't want to talk to me. He wants me out of his life. So just give it up, ok?
Luis: Whoever it was, they hung up. Now what's this about antonio?
Beth: I just saw him out on the balcony.
Luis: What? My brother's here?
Beth: Yes. He was out on the balcony, and then he went back into his room.
Beth: No, luis, wait --
luis: Look, my brother is here! I promised my mother if I ever ran into my brother again, I would bring him home to her. I'm not going to break that promise.
Beth: Listen, I understand how you feel, ok? But you have got to understand that antonio thinks you're mad at him. Furious at him. He doesn't think you ever want to see him again.
sheridan: Brian, you should not have hung up.
Brian: I told you, my brother wants no part of me. He doesn't want to see me, and he doesn't want to talk to me. That's why he didn't pick up.
Sheridan: He didn't even know that it was you. He might not even be there.
Brian: He is. He's there.
Sheridan: Well, how can you be so sure?
Brian: Because I talked to the woman that he's with.
Sheridan: Your -- your brother's here with another woman? Who is she?
Kay: Hey, you are going to do what my mom and dad want, right?
Zombie charity: And what would that be?
Kay: Stay away from miguel.
Zombie charity: Are you jealous, kay? Because miguel and i almost did the deed tonight? That is, until you set pilar's house on fire.
[Zombie charity laughs]
kay: I had to do that to save him. You're a demon. If he has sex with you, he'll die.
Zombie charity: But what a way to go.
Kay: I'm warning you -- stay away from miguel.
Zombie charity: You're warning me?
Kay: You're my creation. You'll do as i say.
Kay: You are going to go into your room, aren't you?
Zombie charity: Oh, yes. As soon as you go in yours.
Kay: No -- after you.
Zombie charity: Look, the only solution is that we go in at the same time.
[Zombie charity chuckles]
kay: Ok. Let's just do this -- on the count of three, we go in. All right?
Zombie charity: Ok. Start counting.
Kay: One, two, three.
Zombie charity: Oh, poor kay. So naive. Like i'm going to honor my promise to anybody, much less sam and grace.
Kay: I've got to stop this demon, if it's the last thing i do. And it may be.
Theresa: Why are we arguing, when we should be thinking about redecorating, whitney? Come on! Give me some ideas, and think big! Money is no object.
Whitney: You are pregnant, ok? You're about to give birth to a precious, little baby, and all you can think about is redecorating.
Theresa: It's for the baby, too. I'm going to redo the nursery -- green. That is going to be the color scheme, and it will work, no matter what it is.
Theresa: The baby.
Whitney: The doctor already told you that you're probably going to have a little boy. And you're still referring to him as "it."
Theresa: Well, the doctor didn't say for sure if it was a boy.
Whitney: So why don't you go ahead and tell me, what kind of names have you thought up for "it"?
Theresa: I'm going to have plenty of time to pick out a name.
Whitney: You're in major denial, theresa.
Theresa: Here we go.
Whitney: I know how you are, ok? I know how you think. You think that if you ignore someing long enough, that it's going to go away. But that's not going to happen with this baby. No matter how hard you try to will it away, that child is going to come out.
Theresa: I know that, whitney. Put yourself in my place, for just a minute. I'm going to give birth to julian crane's baby. Julian is a demon in hell now. And before, he was a demon on earth. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I always wanted to have a crane baby. But not julian's. Ethan'S. The man that i love! Only now i am pregnant with the child of the most evil man in harmony. And I'm scared. Whitney, i am scared!
Whitney: All right, honey. It's all right.
whitney: Shh. It's ok.
Timmy: Timmy's confused. What's going on, princess?
Tabitha: Well, my reckoning is that this ivy's last-ditch attempt to stop eve. But my money's on the good doctor.
Ethan: Dr. Russell will take care of you now, mother.
Ivy: Oh --
ethan: Are you still in pain?
Eve: You can pull all the stunts that you want to, ivy. I am still going to read these d.N.A. Test results, no matter what you do.
Ivy: Well, maybe you don't care what happens to you. But what about your precious daughters, whitney and simone?
Eve: Don't you threaten my daughters.
Ivy: Oh, it's not a threat, eve. It's a promise. If you don't do exactly what i want you to do, I'm going to turn your daughters into drug addicts. Just like their mother used to be.
Eve: You know, you're insane. My daughters would never --
ivy: Oh, who do you think had whitney drugged at the youth center?
Eve: You did that?
Ivy: Yes, i did. And if you don't do what i want you to do right now, and change those D.N.A. Test results? Well, let me tell you exactly what is going to happen to those precious, little daughters of yours.
Brian: What did you mean just now? About my brother being here with another woman?
Sheridan: Did I say that?
Brian: Yes, you did.
Sheridan: I don't know. I just -- so, who is she?
Brian: She's a girl that we both knew years ago. From what I heard, he dated her all the way through high school. But then they broke up.
Brian: Because I left town, and he felt like he had to support the family.
Sheridan: And he couldn't do that and be with her at the same time?
Brian: I don't know. Maybe something else happened. That's just what i heard.
Sheridan: Well, they're together now. So i guess it was meant to be.
Brian: I'm not so sure about that. A few years after they broke up, he met someone else. And from what I understand, she was the real love of his life.
Sheridan: Well, then why isn't he here with her now?
Brian: Because she died, not too long ago.
Sheridan: Oh, how sad.
Brian: Yeah. From what I gather, he's having a hard time getting over her.
Sheridan: So, then why is here with another woman?
Brian: Maybe he just wants to move on.
Beth: I feel terrible, luis. I promised antonio that i wouldn't tell you he was here.
Luis: He's too scared to face me.
Beth: I don't know. But he was so emphatic that i keep quiet, and not tell. Please, don't go barging in there, ok? You need to just give yourself and antonio a little time to come to terms with what you've just learned.
Whitney: Oh, honey. No wonder you feel so disconnected from this baby.
Theresa: I can't help it. You know, God help me, i want to feel connected to it. I mean, this is supposed to be the most joyous time of my life. But instead, whenever I think about the baby, all I can see is julian's face.
Whitney: You know -- come here. I understand what you must be going through. I really do. But you can't ble the sins of the father on the child. This child isn't julian.
Theresa: But julian is the father, whitney. And what if this baby turns out like he did?
Whitney: Look, he's going to have you for a mother. Pilar for a grandmother. A gazillion aunts and uncles. He'll grow up loved and appreciated. And best of all, happy. He's going to be nothing like julian.
Theresa: I hope you're right.
Whitney: He i know that i am. And I'll be there for you, if you need any help with anything.
[Theresa and whitney laugh]
[knock on door]
theresa: Come in.
Phyllis: These were just delivered for mrs. Crane.
Theresa: Oh? What is it, phyllis?
Phyllis: Her new spring wardrobe, from her designer in new york.
Theresa: Designer clothes.
Phyllis: Should i put them in the guest room? Or should I have them sent to where mrs. Crane is living now?
Theresa: No, phyllis. They are staying right here.
Whitney: These aren't your clothes, theresa.
Theresa: Whit, they were addressed to mrs. Julian crane, and that's me. So these designer clothes are mine. Oh, this is so pretty.
Whitney: Well, it's not going to pretty when ivy gets back.
Eve: You wouldn't.
Ivy: Oh, yes, i would. In a heartbeat.
Eve: You would hurt two innocent, sweet --
ivy: To save my relationship with sam and my son, i would do whatever it takes. The choice is yours, eve. Change the d.N.A. Test results, or say good-bye to your darling daughters.
Whitney: But they didn't have a clue what to do with a man like you a man like you they couldn't make your body sway they couldn't take your breath away
eve: Whitney? You come down from there, right this instant!
Whitney: You can beg and plead
man: Hey, pipe down! We want to hear that bimbo sing!
Simone: Hey, baby. Move! God! Hi, honey -- oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about, baby --
eve: Simone --
simone: Oh, yeah, what's up?
Eve: What are you doing here? What are you doing here?
Simone: What does it look like i'm doing here?
Eve: Oh, God. Put on some clothes!
Simone: Mama, mind your own business. God!
Eve: I'm taking you and your sister out of here --
simone: The hell you are! You had you chance to save us, but you turned your back on us. You let us get into this -- booze, drugs, and men. I hope you're happy now.
Man: What do you say, little lady?
Simone: Ah --
man: Let's see what you got.
Simone: Now see, that's what mama's talking about right there, baby! Hey!
Eve: Oh, no! No!
Man: I say house rules. Leave the working girls alone.
Eve: My daughters are not working girls! And you, you stop acting like a tramp!
Simone: Sit. Why? Weren't you a tramp? What, isn't that what they say? They say, "like mother, like daughter"?
Eve: No. No, I'm not a tramp!
Simone: Everyone in town knows how much of a slut you are. Ivy crane says so. Ivy crane say so. Ivy crane says so.
eve: Ivy, where --
Singer: You are my passion for life
zombie charity: Hmm, not skimpy enough. It's got to be just barely there. Ah! Aha. Hmm. Hot, hot, hot. No way miguel's going to resist this.
Kay: I've got to stop that demon. How am i going to do that? Maybe I could get to miguel first, make him think i'm charity, and then trick him into making love to me. Yeah, it's going to be so dark in there that he won't know, anyway. Shouldn't be too hard to trick him. Ok, I need something really sexy.
Kay: It's a good thing mom's never seen this.
theresa: What's wrong?
Whitney: These are ivy's clothes.
Theresa: You're right, I'm going to have get them all in a smaller size, but i am buying all of them.
Whitney: Put them back, theresa.
Theresa: Whitney, look, I am not putting anything back and i'm not stealing them. These clothes were addressed to mrs. Julian crane, and you're looking at her.
Whitney: You know, you have a baby to be thinking about. You need to be taking care of yourself.
Theresa: Every time i start to forget about my problems and have just, like, a little fun, you go into spoilsport mode.
Whitney: You know what -- I am actually the only one that is thinking about you and the baby. It's late. You should be home in bed.
Theresa: I am home in bed.
Whitney: All right, fine. Go ahead, go ahead. Go on, curl on up in queen bee's bed. I'm going to return all these clothes right now.
Theresa: I'm going to like living here. I just wish I was living here with ethan. Well, it's just you and me now, baby.
Whitney: Show you how come on over here, boy let me show you how oh, oh, oh, oh
simone: All right, sis, that's what i'm talking about! Whoo!
Whitney: Baby. Hey, honey. Hi.
Man: Is that all you got to say? I thought you might, uh, want a little something.
Whitney: Oh, baby, you know i do. It's just that i'm a little strapped for cash right now.
Man: Hmm. Well, you know me -- no cash, no happy-happy.
Whitney: But, baby, i do know you. And I know that sometimes you don't always just take cash. Right?
Eve: No! No, whitney! No, it's a dirty needle! Whitney, don't!
Whitney: Hey, mommy. How are you doing?
Eve: Oh, I'm going to get you and your sister out of here.
Man: I don't think so.
Eve: This doesn't have anything to do with you!
Man: You're wrong, lady. Dead wrong. You see, your little girlie here hasn't paid for her hit.
Eve: No! No! No!
Sam: Those two. Arrest these two for prostitution.
Eve: What? What?
Sam: Put the cuffs on them.
Eve: No, sam!
Sam: You have the right to remain silent.
Whitney: This is some crap!
Sam: I've looked the other way far too long, eve. Everyone in harmony knows what your daughters have grown up to be. I can't keep covering for them.
Eve: Wait, sam, give them a break, please!
Sam: No! No!
Eve: Sam --
T.C.: Isn't it bad enough that you're a trashy slut? No, you changed our daughters into trashy sluts, too, eve.
Eve: No, it's not like that. I just couldn't lie anymore! I couldn't lie any--
T.C.: You're a whore, eve! Eve, you are a whore! A whore! A whore! You're a whore! Baby, what's wrong?
Eve: No, not again.
T.C.: What? ( Horn honks )
T.C.: Honey, what's wrong?
Eve: I'm sorry, t.C. I just thought it was ivy pulling on my arm again.
T.C.: Are you sure that's all it is? Because you seemed very upset.
Eve: No, really. No, I'm fine.
Rebecca: Hmm. Ivy is definitely up to something. I think it's time to reveal all.
Ethan: Mother? Are you feeling better?
Ivy: Yes, darling. Eve definitely made me feel better.
Ethan: Good. I'll bring the car around and we'll go home.
Ivy: Home? Heavens, no, no. I'm not leaving here till I hear the D.N.A. Test results read.
Ethan: Mother, why is it so important to you? Look, you said that you had nothing to do with david coming here to break up sam and grace's marriage, and I believe you.
Ivy: Well, I certainly hope so, ethan, because i am not guilty of what i've been accused of. All the more the reason I need to stay and make sure that my good name is cleared.
Rebecca: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I mean, I'm sure i'm the last person you want to see, seeing as I'm the one that got the ball rolling.
Rebecca: Yes, well, I know ivy crane and I know exactly what she's capable of, so for all our sakes, why don't we just have the test results read and be done with it?
Ivy: Well, I couldn't agree more, rebecca.
Rebecca: You do?
Ivy: Yes. Eve? Are you ready to read the D.N.A. Test results now?
Eve: Yes. I'm ready.
Zombie charity: Hmm. Maybe I should go out the window. Not dressed like this. No, I'll just be really quiet.
Kay: Can't make noise.
Beth: Luis, I wish you'd just try to calm down.
Luis: With my big brother in the next room afraid to see me because of the way I treated him at christmas? I'm such a jerk.
Beth: No, you're not. You're just -- you're human. You let your emotions show. And you know what -- you're not the only who's mad at antonio. If he hadn't disappeared, you and I would have never broken up. But, you know, we just all have to try and make peace with one another now.
Luis: I don't know. I'm still so angry at him for deserting our family.
Beth: Don't forget about your mother. You promised her that you would bring your brother home. It's time to just forget about the past and, you know, just think about the future, ok?
Luis: You're right. I have to do what's right for my mother.
Brian: I'm going to check out, diana. I want to go back to the island.
Sheridan: No, I'm not leaving.
Brian: Why do you care so much?
Sheridan: I don't know. I can't explain it. For some reason, i feel this connection to your brother. I don't know why. I mean, I've never even met him before. All I know is that you and he need to settle whatever has come between you before you leave bermuda. This is just such a magical place and there's no telling what could happen.
[Knock on door]
theresa: Whitney? Ah! Whitney!
Whitney: What is it? What?
Theresa: I don't know!
Whitney: Your water broke.
Whitney: Ok, all right, lay down, lay down, quickly.
Theresa: No, no, no, it's too soon! It's too soon!
Whitney: Too soon or not, the baby's coming out.
Sheridan: Please, God, let brian and his brother make peace. I have a feeling it could answer soany questions.
Luis: Is it ok if I come in and talk? We got a lot to settle.
Zombie charity and kay: What are you doing? I asked you first.
Kay: No, you don't!
Miguel: What the --
Grace: John is my son, right?
Eve: Yes. Grace, john is your son.
Rebecca: No. No, that can't be. She's lying. You just give me those results. I'll read them.
Theresa: Ow! It hurts, whitney! The pain!
Whitney: Come on, push, theresa! Push! Come on!
Theresa: I'm trying!
Whitney: I got it! I got it!
Theresa: What is it? A boy, a girl?
Whitney: It's a demon!
Baby: Mama. Mama.
Theresa: No! Ah!