[an error occurred while processing this directive] Passions Transcript Monday 7/16/01 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Monday 7/16/01

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Provided by Stephanie
Proofread by Elissia

Charity's voice: What's wrong with me? Why does seeing Kay in Theresa's mantilla, bother me so much?

[Kay Daydreaming]

Miguel: The minute I saw you in the mantilla, Kay, I knew you were the girl I wanted to marry, not Charity.

Kay's voice: I can still be good and get Miguel. I know I can.

Tabitha: Are you quite certain, Pilar? I'm told that my tea leaf readings are amazingly accurate.

Pilar: Tabitha, thank you. It's very nice of you to offer, but my church doesn't endorse such things.

Tabitha: Well, but what about your brother and sister-in-law visiting from your homeland?

Francisco: No, gracias, no.

Cristina: Me? No way, thank you. No way.

Pilar: And besides, Tabitha, it's not necessary. I already know what the future holds for my beautiful children being married today -- everything blessed and wonderful. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a vase.

Francisco: Yeah, let me help you.

Tabitha: I think even Pilar knows it will be a miracle if her children live.

Pilar: Tabitha, did you say something?

Tabitha: Oh. I was just talking you know.

Francisco: Hey! There you are, Luis. Are you nervous yet?

Cristina: Are you kidding? Mi sobrino -- he's not scared of anything, right?

Luis: Well, I wouldn't say that, but I'm definitely not nervous about marrying Sheridan. We've worked through all our problems before today, and I think the wedding's going to go off without a hitch.

Tabitha: As long as you don't count his bride keeling over at the altar once he puts that poisoned ring on her finger.

Sheridan: Well, what do you think?

Gwen: It's perfect. It's simple and elegant, and I hope I get one exactly like it when I get married.

Sheridan: I was talking about my hair.

Gwen: Oh! Your hair is -- oh, your hair is beautiful. You are going to make the most stunning bride.

Sheridan: Thank you, Gwen. You know, I meant what I said earlier. You're a real trouper for walking down the aisle with me when Luis and I are having a double wedding with Ethan and Theresa.

Gwen: Well, what choice do I have, you know? I could either kick up a fuss and refuse to accept the inevitable, or I can take the high road.

Sheridan: Still, I'm really proud of you. You know, not every woman would be able to pick the latter.

Rebecca: The tabloid you had the editor send Ivy arrived. She took it with her upstairs, and Ethan is with her. That means both of them are going to see it.

Gwen: Oh. It's going to kill Ethan to think that Theresa sold him out.

Rebecca: Gwen, she lied to him about everything else.

Gwen: I know. You're right. So what if she didn't actually send the e-mail to the tabloids? She knew he wasn't a crane and still didn't tell him. You know, add that to this list of devious things she's done to snag him and Theresa deserves what she gets. He's going to get rid of her, and I can have him back.

Gwen's voice: Sorry, Sheridan. I hope the tabloid bombshell doesn't ruin your wedding. I only want to wreck Ethan and Theresa's.

Sheridan: Whoa. What's the matter?

Gwen: I don't know. I -- I just feel awful all of a sudden. I don't -- I don't know what it could be.

Sheridan: You know what? Come here and sit. I'll go get you some water.

Gwen: Ok.

Theresa: Why did you say that you hope Ethan and I will be married in a few hours?

[Whitney Flashback]

Chad: Ok. Let's see what Mr. Editor was so determined to hide.

Whitney: What -- what is it?

Chad: It's a galley proof of tomorrow's paper.

Whitney: And what does it say?

Chad: "Surprise revelation -- former Ethan crane done in by his fiancée."

Whitney: Theresa, it was stupid. I don't know why I even said it that way. I --

Theresa: Whitney, there is something that you're not telling me. Now, what is it? Is something going to stop Ethan and me from getting married? So, did you find out who sent that e-mail?

Chad: Look, man, I know you said it was important for you to find out, but I --

Ethan: Chad, there's no way I'm going to be able to go on with my future unless I find out who stabbed me in the back about my past. Look, a guy's got a right to know who he can and can't trust. Now, if you got the name of the person who sent that e-mail, I want to hear it.

Chad: I do have something to tell you, man. But I think you might want to prepare yourself because it might not be what you want to hear.

Rebecca: Are you sure you haven't heard any screaming in the last five minutes?

Julian: For the last time, Rebecca, I'm positive. Good grief. Don't we have enough on our plate without you being up to God knows what else? What are you expecting to hear from up there?

Rebecca: Oh, wait till Ivy sees this. Oh. Oh. Theresa is finished. Well, I just think that Ivy is under so much pressure right now -- you know, what with being the mother of one of the grooms. And when she was so upset about you having to, you know, turn off her phone lines earlier, I just think anything could set her off today.

Julian: I suppose.

Rebecca's voice: Who knows what Ivy will do when she sees the tabloid? She could kill Theresa and be sent to jail for the rest of her life. Oh, wouldn't that be lovely! Two birds with one headline.

Ivy: This could have something to do with the wedding. Oh, I want everything for Ethan and Theresa to be just perfect.

Muriel: Excuse me, Mrs.. Crane. I have your dress for the wedding.

Ivy: Oh. Oh, well, thank you, Muriel. I thought I gave the entire staff the day off to go to the wedding.

Muriel: Pilar asked me to stay a while longer to make sure you had everything you needed.

Ivy: Oh, isn't that just like her. She is so thoughtful. No. I think I'm all set. No, go and enjoy the rest of your day.

Muriel: Thank you. Perhaps I can fix this with a bobby pin.

Ivy: Oh, that would be wonderful. Julian promised me he'd fix it immediately, but, you know -- uh! You know, while you're doing That I think I'm just going to go and get ready.

Julian: Thank God for you, Rebecca. I wouldn't make it through this day without you.

Rebecca: Well, you don't have to worry about that. From now on, it's you and me against the world.

Julian: It's just beginning to truly sink in that in a few hours my sister will be dead. When she puts that ring on her finger, the poison will seep into her bloodstream and she won't stand a chance.

Rebecca: Well, it's not like you had a choice. You couldn't defy Alistair. It's the only way to keep Luis from marrying into the family because once he does, he will not stop digging until he finds out what happened to his father.

Julian: You're right. There is no alternative. Sheridan must die. I'm just happy that I won't have to be at the church to watch Luis slip that ring on her finger.

Sheridan: Here. How are you doing?

Gwen: Not too well, I'm afraid.

Sheridan: You know what? I think I better call a doctor.

Gwen: No, no, no. You know what? It came on so suddenly, it can't be anything serious. I probably just -- oh! Oh!

Theresa: Look, I know when you're hiding something from me, so what is it? Don't tell me that Ethan found out that I knew Sam Bennett was his real father and didn't tell him. I mean that's the only thing I can think of that would make call off the wedding. I mean, that's not it?

Whitney: Theresa, just --

Theresa: Oh, my God.

Whitney: Listen to me.

Theresa: No, no, it can't be it! I mean, all I've ever wanted is to marry Ethan. Now, just tell me that's not it, Whitney. Tell me everything's ok!

Ethan: Don't mess with my head, Chad. If you know who sold me out to the tabloid, tell me.

Chad: All right, but before we deal with that issue -- and I know we've talked about this before, but I still think there are some things that you should consider, all right?

Ethan: You're not making sense.

Chad: Ok, ok. Let's take this hypo let's say there was a person who knew you weren't a crane and they didn't tell you. And maybe they had their own reasons for doing that, you know. Maybe they didn't want to hurt you, they hoped it would just go away, you know, that it would never come out. And then, I don't know, another person, a second person, came along and found out that the first person had this information and it's the second person who ruined your life.

Ethan: Look, cut to the chase, Chad, all right? Look -- do you know whose computer sent that e-mail? If you do, tell me. You know, I thought you were my friend.

Chad: I am, man! And I think you deserve to know the truth.

Kay: Oh -- Charity. How long have you been standing there?

Charity: Oh. I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw you there in Theresa's mantilla and you had this faraway look in your eyes, so I didn't really want to interrupt.

Kay: Oh, that's ok.

Charity: You were daydreaming about your own wedding someday, huh?

Kay: Oh, gee, how'd you guess?

Charity: I just knew. You looked really pretty and happy, though. But you weren't with Reese.

Kay: You could see that much?

Charity: Well, actually, I could make out almost everything except the face of the person you were marrying. Maybe I can conjure it up now. Hmm, I can't see anything. Who were you marrying, Kay? Is it somebody that I know?

Francisco: I'm proud of you, Luis. Not every groom is as cool and calm as you on the morning of his wedding.

Luis: Well --

Hank: Well, that's Luis for you. Nothing rattles this guy. He's like a rock!

Miguel: Yeah.

Hank: I'm hank.

Francisco: Hi.

Luis: This is my mother's brother, Francisco. And this is my oldest and best friend, the Hank, the Hank!

Hank: Hey.

Luis: I was just telling Francisco how Sheridan and I had planned every last detail of our wedding so there's really no reason for me to have last-minute jitters.

Francisco: Oh, that's what I said on the morning of my wedding to la luz de mi vida, Cristina. [Luis chuckles]

Francisco: I believed I'd thought of everything. But on the day of the ceremony, it suddenly hit me. I thought of everything to do with the wedding and nothing to do with our lives afterwards. But I'm sure Luis hasn't made the same mistake, huh?

Luis: Well, Sheridan and I don't really have to worry about that. We're pretty much going to stick with the way things are, so I don't really see any transition. Besides, our love is so strong, I know we can deal with any changes.

Francisco: Of course, no. Love is the most important thing. And surely, you two have talked about how Sheridan will now be living on your salary instead of the Crane fortune she's used to.

Luis: Yeah. Yeah, well, we've talked about it.

Francisco: Oh! Hey, no doubt you worked out a sensible budget that after you pay the rent, utilities, and gas for your car, there would be enough money left over for at least one or two meals a day -- cooked by your beautiful bride and --

Luis: Sheridan cook? Look, everything's going to be fine, ok? I am used to feeding a lot of mouths on the paycheck that I bring home.

Francisco: Of course, yeah. But you've always had the benefit of your mother's income as well, no? Ah! Not to worry, huh? I'm sure you and Sheridan will have no trouble getting by in a small one-bedroom apartment, hmm? Of course, but when the babies come, you will need a house, hmm? But I'm certain you've already started a special savings account for that. Huh? And niños -- whoo! The things they need -- clothes and schoolbooks and braces for their little teeth and -- ah, but no matter, huh? Whatever life dishes out, I'm sure my big brave nephew can handle it!

Luis: Yeah.

Theresa: Ethan knows I found out he wasn't a Crane and didn't tell him. That's it, Whitney, isn't it?

Whitney: Theresa, Theresa, I did not say that. I am so sorry that I upset you. No, no, I -- I was thinking about all the tiny little things that have to be in place in order for a wedding to go smoothly. And I'm wondering how anyone ever gets through all of that stuff. You know? I mean, like making sure that the musicians are there on time and that the limo isn't late to the church -- come on.

Theresa: Really? That -- that's all that you meant?

Whitney: Absolutely.

Theresa: Gosh. I am completely losing it. I -- I guess I -- I just can't believe that my dream is, like, finally coming true. I mean, I have dreamed of marrying Ethan for so long, I would die if something happened to mess it up now.

Whitney: I know. But it is getting late. I think you should finish your hair and makeup, ok, so --

Theresa: You are so right.

Whitney: Ok.

Theresa: I'll be back.

Whitney: Ok. [Phone rings]

Chad: Hang on a second, man. Hello.

Whitney: Chad, it's me.

Ethan: Look, Chad, tell them you'll call them back. Whoever it is, they can wait. Look, I want that name.

Whitney: Oh, my God. Is that Ethan? Listen to me -- you cant tell him about the tabloid. You promised me you wouldn't say anything.

Chad: Except under certain circumstances.

Whitney: He asked you straight out?

Chad: You got it.

Whitney: Well, you know what? It does not matter. You cannot do this to Theresa, ok? I almost told her myself just now, and you should have seen her face. I think if she found out that she would lose it for sure.

Ethan: Look, who is it, Chad? Can't you tell them that you'll call them back?

Chad: It's Whitney.

Ethan: Is everything ok? There's nothing wrong with Theresa, is there?

Chad: No, no, no, no. As far as I know, she's fine.

Whitney: Promise me that you will not tell Ethan about the tabloid. If you do, he won't marry her, and you know that they love each other, Chad. Please. I mean, you're the one always telling me about the power of love.

Chad: Look, Whitney, I got to go.

Theresa: Hey. Who was that?

Whitney: Hey. Chad.

Theresa: Oh, please tell me things are back to normal with you two.

Whitney: No, sorry. We were just, you know, going over a couple of last-minute things for the ceremony, that's all. Whitney's voice: Please, Chad, do the right thing.

Sheridan: You know, Gwen, I really think I should call a doctor.

Gwen: No, you know what? I'm going to be fine, Sheridan. I'm just going to go -- I'm going to splash some cold water on my face. I'm sure that'll do the trick.

Sheridan: Ok.

Julian: Would you cut that out! You're making me nervous.

Rebecca: I -- I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little antsy myself. Would you mind if I called Gwen?

Julian: Go ahead. [Phone rings]

Sheridan: Hello?

Rebecca: Well! If it isn't the bride-to-be herself.

Sheridan: Oh, don't try and act happy for me, Rebecca, after what you and Julian did to try and stop my wedding.

Rebecca: Oh. Let's not rehash the past, shall we? Is Gwen around?

Sheridan: Actually, she's in the bathroom. She's not feeling well.

Rebecca: Well, what's wrong?

Sheridan: I don't know. It was the strangest thing. We were standing here talking, and then she tried my wedding ring on and all of a sudden she --

Rebecca: Uh --

Sheridan: Rebecca, you there?

Julian: Rebecca, what is it?

Rebecca: Gwen tried on Sheridan's wedding ring.

Ethan: Maybe it's not taking the high road, but I want revenge against the person that leaked this information to the tabloid. Now, if you know who sent it, I want to hear it.

Chad: Well, that's just the thing, dude. I gave it my best shot, but I came up empty.

Ethan: But you just told me to prepare for the worst.

Chad: Yeah, for the fact that I couldn't give you a name, man. I'm sorry. [Ethan sighs]

Ethan: It's ok.

Chad: Yeah.

Ethan: Thanks for trying.

Chad: You bet, man.

Ethan: Oh, man. I got to get to the church. I'll be late. Chad, will you do me a favor? Make sure Theresa has everything she needs, run by her house?

Chad: Oh, yeah. You got it.

Ethan: All right. I'll see you in a while, best man.

Chad: Yeah.

Muriel: It's not fixed, but it's better than it was before.

Ivy: Oh. Thank you so much, Muriel. Now, please, go. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Muriel: You sure you don't need me?

Ivy: No. I think I'm all set. Now, please, the staff's already, oh. I can finally see what's in this envelope.

Charity: Who is he, Kay? Who were you going to marry in your fantasy wedding?

Kay: Well, I thought you could read my mind.

Charity: Almost. I can make out almost everything, but the groom's face is kind of fuzzy. I can't be quite sure who he is yet.

Charity: Really?

Kay: Well, I mean, who says a girl our age has to know who we're going to marry anyway? When I dream about my wedding, I picture what the church will look like, what kind of ceremony I'll have, my dress, my veil -- things like that.

Charity: Hmm. I guess it's just different for me. I think once you meet the person you're going to marry, none of the rest of that matters. All I can think about is him waiting for me at the end of the aisle, ready to make a commitment to me in front of God and my family, my friends. You'll understand once you fall in love, Kay.

Luis: Damn it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Pilar: There's no need for profanity, Luis.

Cristina: Don't be angry with my nephew, Pilar. It's not his fault. It's my husband's fault, my grown husband, playing tricks on him. Yes, you!

Luis: What?

Cristina: Like if you were a schoolboy -- naughty.

Hank: Man, you should have seen your face when your uncle said the word "budget."

Miguel: No, no, no. Hank, the best part was when he was talking about the kids' braces. [Miguel laughs]

Luis: Oh, you dirty rotten --

Francisco: No, no. Wait, wait. You heard your mother, huh? No swearing in la casa. [Miguel and hank laugh]

Francisco: Besides, hey, there was some truth to what I said.

Luis: I know. That's the problem.

Pilar: What is, mijo?

Luis: I'm getting married today! I'm about to make the most important step in my life and I have no idea how to manage. I'm going to have a wife, kids, rent. Miguel oh, don't forget the braces.

Cristina: Oh, shut up. Don't worry about it. I'll make you some more coffee, nephew.

Francisco: Better make it decaffeinated.

Cristina: Ay.

Tabitha: Luis doesn't need to worry about his children's braces. There won't be any children. Sheridan's going to be dead before the ceremony's over. Hmm.

Sheridan: Are you still there?

Rebecca: We got to get over there and get that ring off Gwen's finger before it kills her!

Julian: Wait, wait -- we can't alert Sheridan. She can't realize the ring is poisoned.

Rebecca: I don't care! I got to save my daughter! I'll -- I'll be right there!

Julian: Ahem.

Sheridan: Hey. You feeling any better?

Gwen: I'm not sure. I think -- I think maybe all I need to --

Sheridan: Oh, my God! Gwen!

Charity: Hi.

Miguel: Hey.

Charity: Oh.

Miguel: You know, all this talk about weddings is making me wish we were getting married today.

Hank: Chad.

Chad: Hey, how's it going, man?

Hank: So, how'd things go last night?

Chad: I'll fill you in later, all right?

Hank: Ok.

Chad: Hey. So how's everybody doing?

Miguel: Everybody's great except Luis.

Luis: I heard that.

Miguel: He's kind of stressing. [Laughter]

Luis: I am -- no, I'm not stressing. I'm cool as a cat, cucumber, whatever -- fine. Chad, I would love for you to meet my aunt and uncle. How are you, Chad? Nice meeting you.

Chad: Nice to meet you. You, too. Thank you.

Francisco: Hi, how do you do?

Chad: Very well, thanks.

Timmy: Kay's still trying to be good.

Tabitha: She'd better give it up soon. We need her to help keep Charity and Miguel from making love into her full powers, and you know what that means.

Timmy: Timmy and tabby will be toast.

Whitney: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? Now presenting one of today's beautiful brides --

Luis: Oh.

Whitney: Theresa Lopez Fitzgerald.

Luis: Oh. [Applause]

Whitney: Tell me you didn't give Theresa away to Ethan.

Chad: I couldn't after you told me not to.

Whitney: Oh.

Tabitha: Hmm. Don't get your hopes up, Chad. You two don't stand any more of a chance than Ethan and Theresa.

Ivy: Oh, I forgot to call Millicent. Oh. Oh! Damn! Julian -- he forgot to get my phone line turned back on. Well -- uh-oh. Oh, no, Muriel must have left her keys.

Ivy: Well, she'll come back for them.

Ivy: Hello?

Ethan: Mother, it's me.

Ivy: Oh, Ethan, where are you?

Ethan: I'm at the church. Where are you?

Ivy: Oh, I'm still home -- but I'm all dressed. How are you feeling?

Ethan: Well, aside from a minor case of the butterflies, I feel like the luckiest man alive.

Ivy: Well, you are. You're marrying the woman you love.

Ethan: I just hope I can make her happy.

Ivy: Well, of course you will. Why would you even say that?

Ethan: It's just that I haven't given much thought to what's next. Where are we going to live? How am I going to support her?

Ivy: Oh, sweetheart, you will be fine. You can worry about all those minor details later. Your wedding day is going to be wonderful. And we already know it's not going to end up like mine.

Ethan: It must have been terrible when you realized that you were tricked into getting married.

Ivy: Tricked and lied to. Oh, Ethan. Thank God you're never going to know how that feels.

Sheridan: Gwen! Gwen, wake up! Please, wake up! Oh, my God. Water. I'll get some more water!

Julian: Oh.

Rebecca: Oh, my God! Gwen? Gwen? Oh, give me that. Oh, my God. No, she's still not waking up?

Sheridan: I don't know what happened! She was fine a few minutes ago!

Rebecca: Gwen?

Julian: I hope we're not too late.

Rebecca: Gwen, please wake up.

Sheridan: Gwen!

Rebecca: Oh, sweetheart, wake up! Gwen?

Sheridan: What's wrong?

Ethan: Look, mother, I have to go, but thank you for helping me banish my butterflies.

Ivy: Any time, darling. I'll see you soon, ok? I love you.

Ivy: Oh, I've got to see what's in this envelope.

Whitney: Forget that just happened, ok?

Chad: No, that's impossible. And I don't see how you can forget it either.

Whitney: Well, I have to, so I will.

Chad: You know, Whitney, you know what your problem is? You speak out of both sides of your mouth.

Whitney: Oh, now you're going to insult me? That's going to help?

Chad: Well, hey,, you talk this big game about true love -- only when it comes to Ethan and Theresa, though, you know -- how we got to do everything in our power to save them from splitting up. So, how come you can't even lift one finger to save us?

Whitney: That's not the same thing at all.

Chad: I hope you know what you're doing.

Whitney: So do I, Chad.

Luis: Mama? Hey. Don't be upset because papa's not here. Did I tell you that Paloma called today? We had a great conversation. She said she's going to come as soon as she can.

Pilar: Oh. I just wish that she and Antonio and your father could be here today.

Theresa: Mama, it's going to be perfect anyway. I mean, look, we have each other.

Luis: Yeah. And I promise as soon as Sheridan and I get married, I'm going to pick up where I left off and find out what happened to papa.

Miguel: Hey, I mean, whatever you find out, we'll still always have each other.

Luis: That's right.

Pilar: I have no reason to complain. I am the richest woman in the world.

Luis: Huh?

Francisco: Well, hey, we hate to break such a nice family moment, but we don't know how to get to the church.

Luis: Uh-huh. The church.

Chad: You see, I'm on my way over there right now, so if you want, you can just follow me, ok?

Cristina: Oh, great.

Francisco: Ok.

Cristina: So we should --

Luis: Yeah, Theresa.

Theresa: Ok.

Luis: All right.

Cristina: Bye-bye.

Theresa: Bye-bye. Pilar and

Luis: Bye.

Luis: You almost ready? We got to go before too long.

Theresa: Oh. Yeah, whit, will you help me get everything together?

Whitney: Yeah, of course.

Tabitha: Hmm. Little do any of them know that their lives will never be the same.

Rebecca: Gwen, sweetheart, wake up, please!

Sheridan: You're acting like she's going to die.

Julian: Oh -- not at all. Rebecca's just a very devoted mother.

Rebecca: Oh. Oh. Oh, thank God you're all right.

Sheridan: We were getting ready for the wedding, and then all of a sudden you felt terrible.

Rebecca: Oh, here. Here, Gwen. Here, have some water.

Gwen: Maybe -- ahem -- maybe I was just dehydrated.

Julian: Yes. Yes. That must be it.

Gwen: Well, whatever it is, I feel much better now.

Sheridan: Good. But, you know, I really think you should forget about the ceremony and go see a doctor.

Gwen: Oh, no, no. There's no way I'm going to miss this wedding.

Sheridan: All right. It's sweet that it means so much to you to see me get married.

Julian: Well, Rebecca, perhaps we should go back to the main house.

Sheridan: Please do, Julian. And I would appreciate it if you and Rebecca never came back here again.

Gwen: Sheridan.

Sheridan: I'm sorry, Gwen. You and I are friends and we always will be, but your mother and my brother went way out of their way to try and break up Luis and me. I never want them in my house again. So if you will excuse us, please.

Julian: Ahem.

Rebecca: Are you sure you're all right?

Gwen: Yeah, you should go.

Rebecca: You sure?

Gwen: Yeah.

Gwen: You know what? Forget about them and concentrate on marrying Luis today.

Sheridan: You're right. My future with him is all that matters now.

Rebecca: Oh, thank God I got that ring off Gwen's finger before it poisoned her to death.

Julian: I know there's still enough poison on that ring for Sheridan. Poor girl. She thinks when Luis puts that ring on her finger it's going to be the start of a brand-new happy life for her.

Rebecca: It will be. But it's a life that will only last a few minutes.

Cristina: Ah, you must be Teresita's prince charming.

Chad: How'd you guess?

Francisco: He's pacing like a man who knows his fate is sealed, uh?

Ethan: And you must be Theresa's aunt and uncle. It is a pleasure to meet you. I've heard wonderful things about you.

Cristina: So have we. And you know what? We are really, really looking forward to this wedding.

Ethan: Oh, so am I. I mean, this is the happiest day of my life.

Miguel: Hey, Tabitha, what's with the rice?

Tabitha: Oh, I'm going to give your brother and sister a proper send off when they come out.

Miguel: Yeah, but --

Kay: Tabitha, you're not supposed to throw anything at them until after the wedding.

Miguel: Exactly.

Tabitha: But I'm not going to the wedding, so I want to do it now.

Hank: Wait, aren't you coming to the church with us?

Tabitha: Oh, I wouldn't trust myself to attend. I blubber like a baby at weddings and funerals.

Charity: Oh, well, Tabitha, I hate to put a damper on things, but nowadays, we don't throw rice anymore. We throw confetti.

Tabitha: Why do we do that?

Charity: Well, actually, it's because of the birds. They eat the rice and then it pops up in their stomach and they die.

Tabitha: What do I care about stupid birds?

Whitney: They're coming! [Theresa giggles]

Hank: Ooh.

Luis: Come on, folks. Tabitha, Tabitha, that's for after the wedding, huh?

Tabitha: Oh, well, it's for good luck. Not that you need it.

Luis: Right. Come on!

Tabitha: Oh, what I wouldn't give to see today's pain and suffering in person. Ethan and Theresa are going to be torn asunder forever. And Sheridan's going to drop dead at the altar. Has there ever been a more perfect wedding, Timmy? I don't think so. Come on, lad. Ooh. Cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep.

Sheridan: Ok. What am I missing?

Gwen: Absolutely nothing. You are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen, and Luis is not going to believe his eyes.

Sheridan: Oh, the rings.

Gwen: I have them right here. Don't worry about a thing.

Sheridan: Ok, ok.

Gwen: Let's go.

Sheridan: Let's go.

Julian: You realize this is the last time I'm going to see my sister alive?

Rebecca: I'm sorry it had to be this way, Julian.

Julian: So am I. But as you reminded me, there's nothing to be done. What father wants, father gets. I'll see you back at the main house. I want to be alone for a few moments.

Rebecca: It's not just Sheridan that's going to have a bad day. By the time today is over, Theresa is going to wish she were dead.

Ivy: What is this? Is this somebody's idea of a sick joke? Oh. Oh! Oh, that little bitch! I will kill her! Oh!

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