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Passions Transcript Wednesday 7/4/01
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Provided by Stephanie
Proofread by Elissia
Timmy: Timmy would know that moan anywhere. The wind chimes are crying in princess' voice.
Tabitha: Oh, Beelzebub below, what am I going to do? Theresa's the one who's supposed to suffer. Gwen's got that tabloid newspaper all set to expose Ms. Lopez Fitzgerald as Ethan's whistleblower, even though Gwen's mother was the one who sent the telltale e-mail. And what about my casserole queen houseguest Grace? Oh, she's due for some pain and suffering with that mysterious stranger stalking her everywhere, not to mention Sheridan Crane. Thanks to her brother and her father, she is destined to be poisoned at her own wedding! No, no, this can't be right, Timmy. I've got to do something to turn this around.
Grace: Grace, wake up. Grace. Grace, you are in danger. Wake up, please! Grace! Grace, you have to wake up. You're in danger. Grace! No. No.
Sam: I'll look in on Grace and make sure she's getting some rest.
Grace: No. Sam. No. [Music plays]
Luis: Hey, Ethan, what the hell is going on? I thought they were supposed to be all kind of embarrassed by the strippers.
Ethan: Well, hey, look at it this way -- at least they're behaving this way with us and not with the guys that were hired.
Luis: Well, I hate to burst your bubble, ace, but they don't know that.
Whitney: Go get him, girl!
Theresa: Oh, if Luis and Ethan could see us now!
Sheridan: They would never believe it. I'm not even sure I do, but I've never had so much fun in my life.
Theresa: What the heck. After tomorrow, we'll be old married women, anyway.
Sheridan: Exactly. And like I said, what our men don't know won't hurt them. None of you are leaving without signing a confidentiality agreement.
Whitney: You got it, girlfriend!
Theresa: So, Sheridan, what do we do once we get their shirts off?
Sheridan: Let me think. Maybe their pants? Jessica: Show us some skin, baby, show us some skin!
Whitney: Work it, work it, work it!
Sheridan: If I didn't know better, I would think they were shy.
Theresa: Well, I don't think so. Any guys who do this for a living have to be prepared for any and all requests. So get over here, you two.
Sheridan: Oh, no, no, no. We'll go get them.
Hank: I don't care what your reasons are, breaking and entering is still a crime. Don't do it.
Chad: Man --
Miguel: What's going on?
Chad: Hank here's trying to talk me out of giving my wedding present to Ethan.
Miguel: I don't get it.
Chad: Well, look, I'm only going to tell you this because you're the first guy to give me the time of day when I got to this town, all right? Besides, it involves your sister.
Miguel: Well, what is it?
Chad: I want to take a look around the office of the tabloid that broke the story about Ethan being a Bennett.
Miguel: For what?
Chad: To get the name of the person who gave them the story in the first place. Dude, this thing is killing Ethan, not knowing, and I think Theresa would rest a lot easier, too.
Miguel: At the very least, that would be trespassing on private property, not to mention --
Chad: I got a key, all right? And besides, I think any risk involved is a small price to pay to give Ethan the name of the person who stabbed him in the back.
Miguel: Look, I'm sorry, Chad, but I've got to side with hank, all right? Bad idea.
Hank: That's what I keep telling him. Sometimes it's just better not to know the truth.
Mort: "Daily private lives."
Gwen: [Disguised voice] hi, I'm calling about a tip that I phoned in regarding Theresa Lopez Fitzgerald.
Mort: Well, if it isn't my favorite stoolie again. Don't tell me you changed your mind about running the story.
Gwen: Oh, no, no, no, not at all. I just want an advance copy. I want to see it in print before it hits the newsstands.
Mort: Sorry. No can do. It's against the rules. Besides, I still don't even know who you are, I mean, let alone how you figured out that it was Theresa who sent the e-mail that blew Ethan out of his ever-so-comfortable Crane nest. Now, if you want to tell me who you are --
Gwen: No, no, never mind that. As long as the story's in tomorrow's paper.
Mort: Well, don't you worry about that because thanks to you, our next edition is going to be a bestseller. Yeah, Ethan thinks he had a bad day the first time around when he lost his last name. Wait till he finds out that it was his bride-to-be who stole it from him. Or maybe I should her his bride-not-to-be.
[wind chimes moan]
Tabitha: Maybe my board can tell me what's going on, Timmy. Oh, spirit board, tell your most humble servant how she can prevent her own heinous destruction.
Timmy: Is it going to talk to you now?
Tabitha: Well, in a way, yes. It's going to spell out its answer.
Tabitha: Y- o- U.
Timmy: "You"! It spelled "you"!
Tabitha: Thanks for sharing. Here it goes. C- a- n- T.
Timmy: Maybe it's something about cantaloupes.
Tabitha: No, it stopped. What does that mean? "C-a-n-t"? That's not a word.
Timmy: Yes, it is, princess. It's just missing an apostrophe. "You can't." You can't stop your own heinous destruction.
Tabitha: Oh, hell's bells, Timmy. I'm doomed! [Wind chimes moan]
Grace: No. No, Sam.
Grace: No, Sam. No. [Music plays]
Theresa: Are you ready?
Ethan: For what?
Theresa: You'll see.
Sheridan: All set. Theresa and
Sheridan: One, two, three!
Theresa: That's what I'm talking about!
Sheridan: Very nice!
Theresa: Mine's hot!
Ethan: I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Luis: How about we put an end to this right now.
Sheridan: You know, I am so glad you guys stopped dancing.
Theresa: Me, too. Gives me a chance to do what I want to do since you walked through that door.
Chad: Look, I know you guys mean well, but I am not going to get caught, all right? Look, I even have a map of the entire building so I won't have to waste time looking around for the right office.
Miguel: I'm not saying that Ethan doesn't have the right to know who sold him out. You know, he deserves to know who turned his life upside down, but that doesn't mean --
Chad: All right, so then what's the problem, man? I'm just trying to help a friend out, that's all. I mean, wouldn't you want to know the name of the person who did that to you? What if Ethan still knows this person? What if he thinks he can still trust them?
Hank: I still don't like it, Chad.
Chad: Well, I'm sorry about that, man, but I've still got to do what I think is right. Now, as soon as Ethan finds out the name of this person who sent that e-mail, he can get that person out of his life and then get on with his life with Theresa.
Man: It's been a pretty hot year for you. First you grab the byline on the story of the year -- that Ethan Crane's real daddy was Sam Bennett -- and now you top it with a follow-up bombshell that the girl he's going to marry is the one who did him in.
Mort: The best part's the timing. Ethan and Theresa are supposed to be married tomorrow. How much you want to bet that this is one wedding that doesn't make it to the "I dos"?
Man: I almost feel sorry for the guy. He thinks tomorrow's going to be one of the happiest days of his life. Oh, he's not going to know what hit him.
Tabitha: A hangman and an angel. That means -- what's going on? Come back here!
Timmy: So many strange things keep happening around here.
Tabitha: You're telling me. And I have no idea how I'm going to stop whatever horror is headed our way if I don't even know what it is.
Timmy: Timmy knows how to find out.
Timmy: Hello, nice head. Hi, nice head. Nice head. Timmy has a question for you. He wants to know what's going to happen to Timmy and his princess. [Demon cackles]
Demon: Forget it, doll boy! You're on your own!
Timmy: Now what, princess?
Tabitha: I don't know, Timmy. For once in my rather long life, I don't know.
Timmy: What about a rooster claw or lizard gizzard or something like that. Couldn't that help?
Tabitha: No, I don't see how. Besides, I'm fresh out of both.
Timmy: Timmy knows what to do. He'll throw water on fluffy.
Tabitha: Oh, and just what do you think that will accomplish?
Timmy: It might not help tabby with her problem, but it'll definitely make Timmy feel better.
Tabitha: This is no time for self-indulgent fantasies, Timmy. We've got to put on our serious thinking caps here. Oh, you're brilliant. Brilliant! That's what you are.
Timmy: Timmy is?
Tabitha: Well, of course, I created you, so no wonder. Water. Water is the key. That's how we'll find out how to stop whatever awful thing fate has in store for us. We have to go to Hecuba's lair.
Timmy: Which one? She has more than Martha Stewart.
Tabitha: Oh, the one under Julian's library in the Crane mansion, the one with the pool. We'll ask the man who lives underwater there.
Timmy: What man?
Tabitha: Well, he's one of Hecuba's minions. I'll introduce you.
Timmy: But Timmy doesn't want to go back to that lair. It was too hard to get out.
Tabitha: Oh, don't be a baby, Timmy. It's our only hope. You'll see. It won't be as bad as before. This time we're prepared for any surprises that could be thrown at us. Come on. Come on, shake a leg. I don't want to have to carry you.
Demon: Ask anyone you want, Tabitha. It's not going to help. You're doomed. [Demon cackles]
Sam: Grace? Grace? Grace, honey? [Grace gasps]
Grace: Oh, Sam. Thank God you're here.
Sam: Hey, what happened? Thought you were trying to get some sleep.
Grace: I did fall asleep, but then I had this dream -- or maybe it was a premonition. I don't know. Whatever it was, it was just terrifying.
Sam: What was it about?
Grace: It was -- I don't know, it was like I was standing outside of myself, watching myself sleep right here in this bed, only someone else was in the room, someone who wished me harm. And I tried to reach out to myself, but -- I know I sound like I'm crazy.
Sam: No. Just exhausted. Look, there's no one here. Everything's fine. You must have got overheated and kicked off your covers.
Grace: Yeah, I guess you're right. Sometimes when I'm too warm I have nightmares.
Sam: Grace, listen, lie back down and try to get some more sleep.
Grace: No, Sam, I -- I really don't think I want to sleep anymore. I just want to go down to the party. I want to kiss the girls good night.
Sam: Grace, please --
Grace: Sam, really, I -- I just want to see the kids.
Sam: I know better than to argue with you. I'll walk you down.
Sam: Let it go. It was just a bad dream.
Whitney: Whoo-whee! Yeah! Work it, girl!
Theresa: Why are you pulling away? I mean, this is a party. You're being paid to entertain us.
Sam: What's going on down here?
Grace: I heard all the whooping and hollering. What did you guys stop for?
Theresa: Mrs. Bennett, that is a very, very good question. I mean, Sheridan and I were having such a great time with these dancers, and then all of a sudden they got all shy and embarrassed.
Sheridan: And the party's not over yet, is it, Theresa?
Theresa: Not by a long shot.
Whitney: Oh, yeah!
Grace: Theresa! Sheridan!
Luis: All right, that's it! The fun's over!
Sheridan: What are you talking about?
Sheridan: Oh, my God.
Theresa: Ethan --
Ethan: That's right. Disappointed?
Luis: I cannot believe the way you were acting.
Sheridan: What are you doing here? I thought that you were --
Luis: It is obvious what you thought. Ethan and I figured it would be funny to replace the strippers who were paid to come here tonight.
Ethan: Yeah, we thought it would be funny. I mean, you and Theresa -- we thought you'd be completely embarrassed at the idea of two strange guys dancing and taking off their clothes in front of you. But I guess neither one of us knew you as well as we thought we did.
Luis: Yeah. You can say that again.
Luis: Look, hank, I know you have no idea what's going on here, ok, but let me just clue you in -- it's not funny.
Chad: Oh, I wouldn't exactly say that, man. It looks kind of hilarious to me.
Ethan: Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?
Sam: Get the feeling that we're missing something here.
Luis: How much have you had to drink?
Sheridan: Not a drop. That's not why we're laughing.
Theresa: And it's not why we were falling all over you. Sheridan, should we tell them?
Sheridan: I think we'd better or we may not be getting married tomorrow. Look, Hank and Chad called us after you two had the crazy idea of replacing the professional strippers.
Ethan: Wait -- you knew it was us the whole time?
Theresa: We knew before you walked through the door. And you guys were so dead serious about your jobs. I mean, it was all we could do to keep ourselves from busting up.
Sheridan: But, oh, what moves you two came up with.
Sam: You've been had, buddy.
Hank: Excuse me, Charity, I'll give him right back.
Hank: How we going to stop Chad from this harebrained scheme of his?
Miguel: I don't know. You know, he seems bound and determined to go through with it.
Whitney: Hey. Why are you guys worried about Chad?
Miguel: It's nothing, Whitney.
Hank: Yeah, just guy stuff, you know?
Hank: He's been pushing himself pretty hard lately, that's all.
Chad: Hey, dude, I actually heard Chippendales is having auditions tomorrow, but you might want to wax first.
Ethan: Very funny, Chad. I can't believe this.
Whitney: I wonder what's going on with Chad.
Charity: Excuse me, boys.
Charity: We didn't even get to give you our tips.
Kay: Yeah. Here's a dollar.
Ethan: Hey, where are our clothes at?
Luis: They're in the car, fool.
Ethan: Let's go.
Sheridan: Hurry back.
Theresa: The show's not over yet!
Gwen: You got that right, Theresa. It won't be over until tomorrow when you get blown out of the water right before your wedding.
Man: Here's to tomorrow's edition flying off the newsstand.
Mort: Hear, hear.
Man: Hmm. Nothing sells papers like a busted-up wedding.
Mort: Yeah, especially when the groom is the former Ethan Crane and his wannabe bride is the cause of his undoing, hmm? I wonder -- what do you think made Theresa sell him out?
Man: Oh, who knows? Ha! Who cares as long as we sell more papers.
Tabitha: There it is.
Tabitha: Open sesame! Now, Timmy, find something to prop this open so we don't get trapped in here like we did last time. The rock.
Timmy: How long are Timmy and tabby going to be here?
Tabitha: Oh, I don't know. It depends how long it takes me to find the right potion to summon the man in the pool. Ah. These should do the trick.
Timmy: Timmy still doesn't know who the man in the pool is.
Tabitha: Well, suffice it to say that he's someone who can provide me with the information I seek, someone who can see into the future even though it's blocked for me. Last one. The past is past, the present is clear, what I need to know now is the future I fear.
Face: Hmm. Not you, Tabitha. And what's with the pip-squeak sidekick?
Timmy: The name's Timmy!
Tabitha: He's not just my sidekick. He's my partner and he's -- he's --
Timmy: He's the son you never I had.
Tabitha: Exactly. And so how's my dear friend doing these days?
Face: We've never been friends and you know it. In fact, I can't think of anyone who's ever liked you.
Tabitha: Don't listen to him, Timmy. He's always been a bit jealous of my immense popularity.
Face: She's lying, kid. Don't believe a word that comes out of that old crone's mouth.
Face: Where's Hecuba? This is her lair and I only do work for her.
Tabitha: I'm afraid she's all bottled up someplace. But I've come by myself. I need a favor.
Face: I know what you're after, but there's nothing you can do to stop what's coming your way, Tabitha Lenox. You're doomed. [Face cackles]
Chad: This must be the place.
Mort: Tomorrow can't come soon enough for me.
Chad: I'd know that sleazy reporter's voice anywhere.
Man: Talk about an explosion that's going to rock the world. Wait till the former Ethan Crane finds out who did him dirty.
Chad: Don't worry, Ethan. I'll get you that name before they go public with it so at least it's not a shock. Now to find out who it is.
Ethan: Gwen? Hey, sorry about earlier. But so you're coming to the wedding tomorrow, right?
Gwen: I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Gwen: Good night.
Sheridan: Theresa and I would like to thank all of you for the most wonderful shower we could've ever imagined.
Theresa: We will never forget it.
Sam: Oh, yeah.
Grace: Well, me, neither. But don't you think it's time you two brides-to-be started getting some beauty sleep?
Theresa: Oh, you're right. It is getting late.
Ethan: I'll drive you home.
Theresa: Ok. As long as you're gone before midnight. I mean, it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.
Ethan: I'll be long gone by midnight. Wait, I can't stay at Sheridan's tonight. I'll just get in the way of all the wedding preparations.
Hank: Don't worry, man. You can crash at my place.
Ethan: Oh, great. I'll take you up on that.
Sheridan: You don't need to see me home. I'll be fine.
Luis: Well, we got things to talk about, you know?
Sheridan: I think I have a pretty good idea what you want to talk about and we can talk tomorrow night.
Ethan: So I'll see you tomorrow, Sam?
Sam: Wouldn't miss it.
Theresa: Good night.
Ethan: Night. Jessica: Bye.
Theresa: You know what? I hardly had anything to eat. I'm kind of hungry.
Ethan: Well, I've got just the answer to your problem.
Ethan: Come on.
Sheridan: Thanks again for such a wonderful shower.
Grace: You are very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. See you tomorrow.
Sheridan: See you tomorrow.
Charity: Aunt Grace, are you ok?
Grace: Yeah. Why?
Charity: I just get the feeling that you're upset about something.
Grace: Actually, you're probably the only person that would understand this. I had a dream earlier, only it didn't really seem like a dream.
Charity: Was it like a premonition?
Grace: No, it was more real than that. See, I sensed that someone was watching me sleep. It wasn't Sam. It was someone else. Only when I woke up, he wasn't there.
Charity: Maybe it was just a really bad dream.
Grace: Just seemed so real.
Man: Soon, Grace. I'll be waiting for you.
Charity: I wish that I knew what to tell you, aunt Grace, but I don't understand my own premonitions or why I get them.
Grace: Oh, well, makes two of us.
Charity: But I do think about something that my mom said shortly before she died. She said that if my feelings were strong enough, I should trust them no matter what they were or how farfetched because one day one of my premonitions would save my life.
Sam: Hey, girls, we've got a big day tomorrow. I think we should get some rest, huh?
Grace: I guess you're right.
Charity: Good night.
Grace: Good night, sweetie.
Charity: Good night. Hi.
Charity: What was that for?
Miguel: No special reason. Just felt like doing it.
Kay: Simone, hey, it's me. Did I wake you? Oh, everybody missed you at the party. We can't wait for you to get out of the hospital. Because I needed to talk to you. I can't stand watching Miguel and Charity all over each other anymore. Simone, I know I just got my soul back and I promised to be good. I'm trying. I'm really trying.
Sam: Hey, think you can get a good night's sleep now?
Grace: Oh, I think so. Someone's in there.
Grace: Someone is in there. I'm sure of it this time.
Sam: Honey --
Grace: He's waiting for me.
Sam: Honey, we were just in there.
Grace: Look, I don't know where he was then, but he is there now. He wants -- he wants to hurt me, Sam. I don't want to go in there. Please?
Gwen: Excuse me.
Gwen: You carry "daily private lives," don't you?
Man: Every day, miss. It's a big seller thanks to the public's never-ending appetite for sleaze.
Gwen: Is tomorrow's edition in yet?
Man: Nah, too early. Won't be in till morning.
Gwen: I'll be back.
Gwen: Enjoy yourself tonight, Theresa, because you won't be enjoying any more nights after this. After tomorrow, Ethan will be mine again.
Theresa: What a great idea. Chinese food?
Ethan: Yeah. Well, you were too busy eyeing male strippers that you forgot to eat.
Theresa: Oh, but what strippers they were.
Ethan: Very funny.
Radio announcer: The time now is 12:00 midnight, the witching hour, as we start yet another day in Harmony.
Theresa: Oh, no. It's after midnight and we've seen each other on our wedding day before the ceremony. I mean, everybody knows that means bad luck.
Tabitha: You can't just say I'm doomed and leave it at that.
Face: Give me one good reason why not. What have you ever done for me -- or anyone, for that matter?
Tabitha: Lots of things. I'm not a bad person. Well, I am, but I'm supposed to be. I do my best to cause pain and suffering everywhere. But why have I been singled out for destruction?
Face: I've told you all I know.
Tabitha: You're lying. You know exactly what's going to happen to me and I want to hear it!
Timmy: So does Timmy.
Face: Sorry about that! No can do. All I can say is that there's doom on the horizon -- doom for you and for all of the couples in Harmony. [Face cackles]
Charity: So, you're excited about the wedding tomorrow, aren't you?
Miguel: I can't believe my brother and my sister are actually getting married on the Same day. You know, one of these days we're going to be walking down the aisle together, too.
Charity: But, Miguel, you know that we have to wait until we're 18.
Miguel: I haven't forgotten. I just don't know if I can wait that long.
Kay: Simone, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I love Miguel so much, but he still only has eyes for Charity. I know what I promised God and Father Lonigan, but now it's just really hard to be good. I love him so much.
Ethan: Hey. Theresa, come on, that's just a silly old wives' tale.
Theresa: I don't think so, Ethan. I mean, I have always heard that the worst thing that you could do on your wedding day is see the person that you're going to marry before the ceremony.
Ethan: But -- but people make their own luck. We can't let some silly superstition put a damper on the happiest days of our lives. We are going to live happily ever after, no matter what time it is right now.
Theresa: You think?
Ethan: I know.
Theresa: Well, you know, we'd better get home if I'm going to get any rest.
Ethan: Yeah. Me, too. I mean, I don't want to get to hank's too late and wake him up. You realize this is going to be the last night that we're going to be apart?
Theresa: Starting tonight, we're finally going to be together.
Man: Better keep this baby locked up tight tonight. Wouldn't want any prying eyes to get a preview of this before it hits the stands.
Mort: Absolutely. Maximum punch is the name of the game.
Man: You got it.
Mort: Hey, don't forget this.
Man: Good idea.
Mort: All set?
Man: Yeah. Let's go.
Mort: Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
Man: Sounds good to me. We've got something to celebrate tonight.
Sheridan: It's my wedding day! From now on, my life is going to be so perfect. No one can do anything to spoil it.
Grace: Someone is in there. You have to believe me, Sam. I can feel it.
Sam: Grace --
Grace: No, Sam. If you love me, believe me. Someone is in there waiting for me.
Grace: You heard it, too. I told you. Sam.
Sam: Who's there?
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