Passions Transcript Wednesday 8/4/99 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Wednesday 8/4/99
 
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Provided by Boo
Proofread by Ebele

Whitney: Say it, Theresa. Tell me you know better than to see Ethan Crane ever again.

Theresa: Don't worry, Whitney. I don't even want to see him. All these years, I thought Ethan was fated to be my prince. I actually convinced myself that he was going to show up here at 462 Railroad Street on his white horse and that he'd carry me off to his castle. And then I, Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald, would be his princess.

Whitney: Life is not a fairy tale, Theresa.

Theresa: And Ethan's not a prince. None of it ever existed except in my dreams. It's never going to happen. It's never going to happen.

******************************************************************************

Ethan: But it never should've happened, mother. Sheridan doesn't deserve this.

Ivy: Not that I don't feel terrible for her, darling -- of course I do -- but, well, surely Sheridan bears some of the responsibility herself.

Ethan: How can you say that? When she found out her french boyfriend only wanted to marry her because she was a Crane, it broke her heart. I don't see how that's her fault at all.

Ivy: Let's not fight, Ethan. I know that you and your father's sister have always been very close.

Ethan: Sheridan's my best friend, mother.

Ivy: I only meant that I'm not entirely surprised by her misfortune.

Ethan: And why is that, mother?

Ivy: Well, since you asked, Sheridan has always found her boyfriends from -- how should I put this? -- Outside her class. She's never given so much as a second glance to any of the young men that your father or your grandfather have picked out for her.

Ethan: And why should she? She wasn't looking for a business merger. She was looking for love -- true love.

******************************************************************************

Sheridan: Ha. Dudley do-right must've gotten tired of chasing me and decided to go find himself a real criminal.

[Tires squeal]

******************************************************************************

Ethan: What does it matter where you find true love as long as you're lucky enough to find it?

Ivy: Well, that's a nice sentiment, Ethan, although I'm afraid it's a bit simplistic.

Ethan: Why, mother? I agree completely with Sheridan. Love is love. I mean, what's the difference if the person you care about is rich or poor?

Ivy: There's a world of difference.

Ethan: But none of it means anything as long as you're happy with each other. Don't tell me you never felt that way, mother. Surely there was a time when you had a crush on some boy from the other side of the tracks. Mother? Are you all right?

******************************************************************************

Sheridan: Sorry, but I am in no mood for a lecture from one of Harmony's finest tonight. Not when I'm almost home, safe and sound.

Luis: The game's over, buster! Don't be stupid! Stop the car right now or I'll shoot!

******************************************************************************

Miguel: There she is! I've got to find her.

******************************************************************************

Timmy: Timmy really wants to go home now, Tabitha.

Tabitha: Do you or do you not want to continue your existence on this earth, Timmy?

Timmy: Is this a trick question?

Tabitha: Hope you're not trying to be funny, Timmy. You can be unstitched just as easily as you were stitched.

Timmy: Oh, no, Tabitha, it's just sometimes Timmy wonders if he's mulder to your scully or if you're mulder to Timmy's scully.

Tabitha: Just shut up and look for Faith and Charity. Your life depends upon us finding them.

******************************************************************************

Charity: Mom, nobody's after us. You just need a good night's sleep.

Faith: Look, Charity, I know you think I'm crazy --

Charity: No, I didn't say that. I'm just concerned about your mood swings. I mean, first you're all freaked out because evil forces are after us. And then suddenly you're flying high because you sense your missing twin sister's happy somewhere, and now you're all upset again.

Faith: It's because they've found us, Charity.

Charity: It was just the wind, mom. I worry about you because I love you so much.

Faith: Charity, I love you, too, and that's why I'm trying to protect you. Now, we have to find someplace that's safe from evil until the sun comes up.

Charity: Until the sun comes up? Are you talking about vampires?

******************************************************************************

Theresa: Luis warned me that I'd get hurt if I didn't grow up and get over my childish fantasies of Ethan and the rest of the Cranes. I just didn't want to believe him, Whitney.

******************************************************************************

Ethan: You know, growing up, my parents always warned that people without money would target our family for their own selfish gain. It was so cynical. I never wanted to believe them. But after what Jean-Luc did to Sheridan, and now that girl who's been stalking me -- I have to say, I believe them.

Theresa: All these years, I thought Ethan was someone who judged people on what they were on the inside, not how much money they had. What a jerk I've been.

Whitney: I'm so sorry you're hurting, Theresa. I mean, you've always been such a dreamer. We tried to tell you that what you wanted from Ethan couldn't happen. Life is not a soap opera.

Theresa: I know that now. I just hope it's not too late for me. I wasted so many years on -- on my dream of Ethan when I could've met a boy from around here, someone from my own background.

Whitney: Your life isn't over yet.

Theresa: What about that job Ivy Crane offered me as her personal secretary? I would've given my right arm for that job, Whitney. You should've seen the mansion and Mrs. Crane's gowns and her zillion bottles of expensive perfumes. And her closet alone was the size of my bedroom. And her shoes, Whitney? I never knew they made shoes in that many colors.

Whitney: At least you got to see them once.

Theresa: I was made for that job, Whitney. I would've been perfect for it. Even Mrs. Crane said so. And now I can't have it, all because of Ethan.

Pilar: So you finally decided to come home, Theresa.

Theresa: Please don't be mad, mama.

Pilar: You don't expect me to be happy at the things you've done?

Whitney: I'm sorry, Theresa. I had to tell her about those accidents with Ethan.

Pilar: I am so disappointed in you, Theresa.

Theresa: But Whitney must have told you I didn't mean for any of them to happen.

Pilar: Things were bad enough, but you made them even worse by going to see Mrs. Crane when I told you not to.

Theresa: Oh, I'm sorry, mama.

Pilar: Were you able to leave tonight without running into Ethan?

Theresa: Yes.

Pilar: Well, at least that's something. I should be prepared when I see Mrs. Crane tomorrow morning. What did she say when you turned down her generous job offer?

Theresa: Oh, my gosh.

Pilar: You did tell her that you couldn't take the job as her personal secretary? Oh, dios mio. Theresa, you didn't tell her.

******************************************************************************

Ethan: Are you ok? Did my question upset you, mother?

Ivy: No. Course not, Ethan. And I applaud your very democratic view of love, though I dare say you might feel differently if you hadn't found the perfect girl in Gwen.

Ethan: You really think I fell in love with Gwen because she comes from a family that's wealthy and powerful?

Ivy: No, certainly not. But you can't tell me that having those things in common isn't a tremendous boon to your relationship.

Ethan: To tell you the truth, I've never even considered it, mother.

Ivy: And why should you? You and Gwen -- you're made for each other. All I meant, was you could never be happy with anyone else.

Ethan: I think what you really meant is that I could never love anyone who's poor. And I disagree. Love is all that matters.

Ivy: Well, that's easy to believe when you're young. Though I think you'd have a harder time if you were with someone who was poor. You wouldn't have anything in common with them and you wouldn't stand a chance. What, you think I'm silly?

Ethan: I'm not laughing at you, mother. I'm laughing at myself. I was so angry earlier about Sheridan being hurt by that French gold digger, I was saying all the things you are.

Ivy: I know what I'm talking about, Ethan.

Ethan: I'm sure you do. And no one can love someone who's only after them for their money. But I can love any woman, rich or poor, as long as she's right and she loves me. I'm sure Sheridan feels the same way.

******************************************************************************

Luis: You try anything else and I'm using your tires for target practice. Well, I hope you had a good time, buster, because you're about to say good-bye to life as you know it. There's no way your sorry behind isn't doing jail time after those moves.

Sheridan: My name isn't buster, my behind is anything but sorry, and you can't arrest me.

Luis: You've broken at least 10 laws in the last 10 minutes. Give me one good reason I shouldn't arrest you.

Sheridan: Because my last name is Crane.

Luis: Excuse me?

Sheridan: Can't you read, officer? C-r-a-n-e? As in Alistair Crane and Julian Crane and the Crane Industries? Do you want me to go on, because I can.

Luis: I'm going to start treating the Cranes the same way I treat everyone else -- no special favors, no special deals. You do the crime, you do the time. I don't care what your last name is. Call me crazy, but I'm not going to play the game anymore. You know what? If it costs me my job, so be it. At least I'll know I lost it doing the right thing. I know the name. I know it very well.

Sheridan: Well, then I guess we can forget all about this. So if you would just move your car, I'll be on my way. And I'll send a check to the Harmony Police station to cover any damage to your car.

Luis: That's very generous of you, but you don't have to do that.

Sheridan: No, no, I insist. There's no reason why there should be any hard feelings between us.

Luis: Suit yourself. But you have to get out of the car.

Sheridan: I don't understand.

Luis: You're under arrest, Ms. Crane. Now I need to cuff you.

******************************************************************************

Waiter: The restaurant is closing early. We have to repair the electrical damage caused by the windstorm. Excuse me.

Jessica: That means no lobsters get boiled tonight. Another victory for us vegetarians.

Sam: I guess that's called taking a positive view. I'm sorry, kids.

Grace: Why don't you guys come over to the house. You can order pizza.

Jessica: Any luck finding your date, Miguel?

Miguel: No sign of her anywhere.

Kay: She must've gone home.

Miguel: That's what I was going to ask you, Kay. Do you have any idea where she lives?

Kay: I'm so sorry, Miguel. I don't have a clue.

Miguel: Then how did you find her to make the date with me?

Jessica: That's a good question, Miguel. In fact, you never even told us her name, Kay.

Kay: That's because I don't know it, Jessica. I asked her to come when I met her at the carnival. I'm sorry. It was stupid of me not to get her name.

Miguel: That's all right, Kay.

******************************************************************************

Sam: Grace, I hope this isn't a dumb question, but I thought Kay was miguel's date.

Grace: Yeah, I thought so, too. Our daughter must be up to something again.

Kay: Come on back to my house and we'll have pizza, Miguel.

Reese: That'd be great, Kay.

Miguel: Thanks anyway, but I'm going to keep looking around. I got to find this girl.

Kay: You know, I'm not really in the mood for pizza. I'll come with you, Miguel.

Reese: I'll come, too.

Kay: Really, Reese, you don't have to.

Reese: I know that, Kay, but it is our first date.

Kay: Oh. Right.

Jessica: I know -- we'll all help Miguel look for this girl. I've got lots of questions for her. Don't you, Kay?

Kay: Yeah. A lot.

Jessica: See you later, mom and dad.

Sam: All right, kids, have fun. Be home early.

Jessica: We promise. Bye.

Grace: Have a good time.

Sam: You didn't even tell Kay and Jessica to come home early.

Grace: Oh, didn't I?

Sam: Honey, have you figured out what's been bothering you?

Grace: I'm just off, Sam. I feel troubled by something. It's weird. One minute I'm happy as I've ever been, the next I'm all agitated and uneasy. I don't know what's wrong with me.

******************************************************************************

Charity: Mom, you're not saying that the evil forces are vampires.

Faith: That is not what I'm saying at all, Charity. Look, evil can take on many forms and disguises, but it is most treacherous at night, when it's dark.

Charity: Ok. Then let's go back to the inn. It's light there and we can get some sleep.

Faith: Absolutely not. It's not safe there. I know where we have to go. Come on, Charity. Hurry.

******************************************************************************

Timmy: No sign of the mother or the daughter. Tabitha?

Tabitha: No. Now, where would Faith hide if she were feeling scared?

Timmy: Timmy knows, Timmy knows! The Police station.

Tabitha: No. That doesn't sound quite right, Timmy. Oh, no. Not there.

Timmy: Did you think of a place they might go?

Tabitha: Yes, I did. But I don't like it at all, Timmy. Come on. We've got to head them off.

******************************************************************************

Luis: Right this way, please.

Sheridan: I can do it myself.

Officer: Need any help, Luis?

Luis: Yeah, Pat. Keep an eye on Ms. Crane. I got to sign her in.

Pat: Did you say "Crane," as in the Cranes?

Luis: Yeah, that's right.

Pat: Are you crazy, Luis?

Luis: I'm just doing my job.

Sheridan: I want my phone call. There is a law that allows me to call my attorney, isn't there?

Luis: Yeah. Absolutely, miss. You can use the phone right on my desk.

Sheridan: You're making a big mistake. I hope you know that.

******************************************************************************

Ivy: I wouldn't worry too much about your aunt Sheridan, Ethan. The Cranes are known for their resilience. She's endured other heartaches. She'll survive this one.

Ethan: I hope so, mother.

Ivy: You know, perhaps -- perhaps this will even do her some good. Oh, don't look at me like that, Ethan. I only meant that in the future, perhaps Sheridan will realize that she should look for her boyfriends a little closer to home.

Ethan: Yeah, why don't we just get a printout of the membership list at the country club?

Ivy: Well, you're laughing at me, but that's not a terrible idea.

Ethan: I'm not going to argue with you, mother. Besides, I don't think Sheridan's going to be looking for any boyfriend from anywhere anytime soon. She needs time to heal.

Ivy: But once she does --

Ethan: Once she's ready to venture out, I'm going to personally inspect all future boyfriend prospects.

Ivy: And that would be an excellent idea because you have fabulous taste. In fact, I was just bragging to Theresa about how proud I am of you. Oh, good Lord -- Theresa. I left her waiting for us up in my bedroom.

Ethan: Oh, don't worry about it, mother. Theresa left a while ago. She told Gwen she had an allergy attack.

Ivy: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she's all right and she's not allergic to anything in the house. I mean, I really like her. She's smart and she's eager.

Ethan: I'm sure I'll like her, too, as long as she's nothing like her policeman brother, Luis.

[Telephone rings]

Ethan: Ethan Crane.

Sheridan: It's me, Ethan.

Ethan: Sheridan, you should be here by now. Where are you?

Sheridan: Believe it or not, the Harmony Police station. Some crazy cop named Luis something-or-other arrested me for speeding.

Ethan: Damn. I'll be right down there.

Ivy: Is something wrong, Ethan?

Ethan: Sheridan's been arrested for speeding.

******************************************************************************

Theresa: Mrs. Crane was so nice, mama. She acted as if the job was mine. She just wanted me to meet Ethan.

Pilar: You should have turned it down, Theresa.

Theresa: I know, mama. I just didn't have the heart. The job was perfect for me in every way. If only I could take it.

Pilar: You can't. And you must get that idea out of your head once and for all. It's time you start acting like a grownup. I want you to go back to the mansion tonight and tell Mrs. Crane that you made a mistake. You cannot accept the job.

Theresa: But I can't go back now! Ethan's there!

Pilar: That didn't seem to bother you before. I'm going to tell Mrs. Crane to expect you. I want this whole thing over with tonight.

Whitney: I don't think you have a choice, Theresa.

[Telephone rings]

Ivy: Hello?

Pilar: Mrs. Crane? It's Pilar. I hope I'm not bothering you.

Ivy: Oh. No, not at all. I was just lost in some old memories. What can I do for you?

Pilar: I wonder if Theresa could come back to speak with you this evening.

Ivy: You know, that would be lovely. Ethan had to go out for a while and I'm here all alone. I'd like the company.

Pilar: Thank you, Mrs. Crane. Theresa will be there soon. Mrs. Crane is waiting for you, Theresa.

Theresa: Mama, I --

Pilar: And you're in luck. Ethan is out. No more excuses.

Theresa: Yes, mama. But it was such a great job.

Whitney: Forget about for Mrs. Crane, Theresa.

Pilar: Just turn down the job politely and come straight home. Is that understood, Theresa?

Theresa: Yes.

******************************************************************************

Charity: Mom, why are we going in circles?

Faith: I know it's around here somewhere. We passed it on the way to the restaurant.

Charity: Passed what? Where are we going?

Faith: Look, it's that way. Come on.

******************************************************************************

Timmy: Timmy's tired, Tabitha.

Tabitha: One more whine, Timmy, and you're going home to fluffy -- alone.

Timmy: No, not that vicious, nasty cat!

Tabitha: There's the spirit.

Timmy: But where are Timmy and Tabitha going?

Tabitha: I already told you -- the only place where Faith feels safe with Charity. Now, come on. There they are, Timmy, up ahead. Come on, hurry or they'll get away.

( heart beating )

******************************************************************************

Sam: What was going on with Kay tonight, Grace?

Grace: Nothing's ever simple with our oldest daughter, Sam.

Sam: Well, I'm a little bit more concerned with her mother right now.

Grace: I'm ok. I mean, I don't feel bad, exactly. I just feel -- strange.

Sam: What kind of strange?

Grace: This is going to sound weird, but it's like I'm sensing a threat to somebody's soul. Told you it would sound weird.

Sam: No, no, not at all. I always knew you were a very deep, spiritual person.

Grace: Really? Well, that's more than I know about myself. I would give anything to know about my past, Sam -- if I have a family --

Sam: Hey, hey, we're not going to give up -- not until we have all the answers. Hey, why don't we try the internet tonight?

[Telephone rings]

Sam: Excuse me. Sam Bennett.

Pat: Hey, chief. It's O'Brien. Listen, I'm sorry to bother you at home, but I thought you'd want to know. Luis just made a collar and all hell's going to break loose because of it.

Sam: Well, who did he arrest?

Pat: One of the Cranes.

****************************************************************************** Luis: 1970. What kind of name is Sheridan?

Sheridan: The kind of name you'll never forget, officer. You crossed the wrong person tonight. Thank God.

Luis: That's your one phone call?

Sheridan: My nephew is an excellent attorney.

Ethan: Are you all right, Sheridan? I demand Ms. Crane's immediate release. I'm taking her home.

Luis: Sorry. The only place Ms. Crane's going tonight is jail.

Ethan: Now you listen to me, Officer Lopez-Fitzgerald.

******************************************************************************

Ivy: Oh, Theresa. I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Theresa: Feeling -- oh, right -- my allergies. The reason I'm back, Mrs. Crane --

Ivy: Why don't you come in, Theresa? There's no need for us to talk on the doorstep.

Theresa: Ok. My mother said your son wasn't here.

Ivy: No, Ethan had to go out, unfortunately. But he'll be back later. He's anxious to meet you, too, Theresa.

******************************************************************************

Miguel: I don't get it, Kay. People don't just disappear.

Kay: I know. It's so weird, Miguel.

******************************************************************************

Jessica: Check it out, Simone. Kay still can't accept that her date with Miguel is a total wash.

Simone: It wouldn't be if it weren't for you, Jessica. How could you tell Reese your sister liked him when you know how much she likes Miguel? You have done so many mean things to your sister tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if that windstorm in the restaurant wasn't your idea, too.

Jessica: No way. The wind messed up the best part of the show. I wanted to see how Kay was going to juggle two dinner dates at the same time. Now the only thing to watch is how she keeps Miguel from finding this girl he likes.

Simone: Poor Kay. She is so crazy about Miguel. If he does find that other girl, it'll kill her.

Reese: I'll help, Miguel. Now what was she wearing?

Miguel: She looked beautiful.

Kay: You know, it's getting pretty late, Reese. If you want to take off, everyone will understand.

Reese: Oh, no, Kay. A gentleman always sees his date home. I wouldn't dream of leaving you now.

Kay: Are you ok, Miguel?

Miguel: Where could she have gone?

******************************************************************************

Tabitha: Damn it! They got inside. It's all your fault, Timmy. You slowed me down with all your whining.

Timmy: It's not Timmy's fault. You kept stopping to pull up your pantyhose, Tabitha. You shouldn't buy the cheap ones.

Tabitha: I wouldn't push my luck if I were you. I'm not in a very good mood.

Timmy: Why not, Tabitha? Timmy and Tabitha know where they are now. All Timmy and Tabitha have to do is go in and get them.

Tabitha: Are you crazy? If you and I set so much as one foot inside a church with intention of doing harm --

Timmy: What, Tabitha? What would happen?

Tabitha: Zap -- lightning right through our hearts -- or even worse.

Timmy: How'd you make such powerful enemies, Tabitha?

Tabitha: It's a long story, and we don't have time. Did you ever smell a burning doll, Timmy?

Timmy: No, Tabitha! Timmy doesn't want to go up in flames! He wants to live!

Tabitha: Then help me think. We've got to trick that girl into coming out here on her own. It's either her or us.

******************************************************************************

Ivy: I appreciate your wanting a few more details about the position, Theresa. I had a feeling you were the conscientious type.

Theresa: It's not that, Mrs. Crane.

Ivy: Oh, don't be modest. Actually, I'd like to know a little more about you, too, like, what are your plans for the future and have you narrowed down your career goals yet?

Theresa: Well, I've always hoped I'd get something in the fashion industry or maybe the magazine world.

Ivy: I should think you would do very well in either field. And the position you're taking with me could be a big help.

Theresa: Well, that's just it, Mrs. Crane.

Ivy: Aside from paying very well, it'll be excellent preparation. In fact, I was thinking if things work out well between us, eventually you would take on all of the duties of a real social secretary -- organizing parties, menus, arranging the flowers, you know, working with my personal shoppers and my jewelers.

Eventually, you would have to travel with me to London, Paris, Milan to view the new collections.

I hope you like to travel, Theresa.

Theresa: I've never even been on an airplane, but I know I'd love it.

Ivy: Wonderful. You're going to make a marvelous secretary, and I hope you can start tomorrow because I could certainly use the help.

Ivy: Well?

Theresa: Yes. I can start tomorrow, Mrs. Crane.

******************************************************************************

Ethan: It's all right, Sheridan. I talked to the mayor on my cell phone.

Sam: I heard about the arrest, Luis.

Luis: She broke the law, Sam. She was doing 98 in a 45-mile zone. She tried to outrun me and she refused to cooperate. Now, we'd charge anyone for that. Exceptions must be made, right? She's a Crane.

Ethan: Damn right. She is a Crane. You're the new Police Chief, aren't you?

Sam: That's right, I am.

Ethan: Then I'd talk some sense into this man of yours.

Pat: Chief?

Sam: Yeah, O'Brien?

Pat: The mayor's on the phone for you. Line two.

Sam: Excuse me.

******************************************************************************

Grace: Knit. Come on, knit, purl. What is wrong with me tonight?

Jessica: Where you going, mom?

Grace: Hey, kids. You know, I won't be long. You're dad had to go to the station, and there's plenty of food in the fridge, ok?

Kay: Ok. Don't worry about that girl, Miguel. She could be anywhere by now.

Miguel: But where?

******************************************************************************

Faith: Wait here, Charity.

Charity: Where you going?

Faith: Up to the altar. I want to pray.

Charity: I wish we could just go back to the inn.

Faith: Look, I told you why we can't go back there, Charity. Now make yourself comfortable. We're going to be here all night.

Charity: All night?

******************************************************************************

Timmy: The mother went to the altar. Charity's all alone.

Tabitha: Excellent. Come away from the door, Timmy.

Timmy: What you going to do now, Tabitha?

Tabitha: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. We've got to get Charity out of the church and away from her mother's protection.

Tabitha: [Child's voice] Help me. Help me, somebody. I'm lost. I'm lost. Help me. Help me.

Timmy: You sound like a little girl, Tabitha.

Tabitha: Help me. I'm lost. Help me, help me.

******************************************************************************

Charity: That sounds like a child crying.

******************************************************************************. Ethan: The mayor will handle the chief. You'll be out of here in five minutes, Sheridan.

Ethan: Well, I assume we can go now, Chief Bennett. If you'll take these manacles off her wrists --

Sam: Not so fast, Mr. Crane. The mayor did suggest that we release Ms. Crane. But I told him that would be impossible.

Ethan: I don't understand.

Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. Ms. Crane is going to be our guest tonight. The judge will arraign her in the morning. Luis, if you'd be so kind to show Ms. Crane her accommodations.

Ethan: This is outrageous! I won't let you treat her this way.

Sheridan: It's all right, Ethan. I'm not scared. You go on home.

Ethan: I'll be back first thing in the morning. You're going to regret this, Chief Bennett. Arresting one of Harmony's most upstanding citizens when there's a stalker out there on the loose, attacking innocent people? You see, those are the people you're supposed to put in jail.

******************************************************************************

Ivy: Oh. Well, I'm glad you're taking the job, Theresa.

Theresa: Thank you, Mrs. Crane.

Ivy: I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me. I have a lot of things I have to get ready. My sister-in-law's coming home tonight -- hopefully.

Theresa: Oh, of course.

Ivy: Well, I'll see you in the morning, then.

Theresa: I'll be here. Would it be all right if I used your phone before I leave?

Ivy: Oh, of course. Go right ahead. Make yourself at home. You're going to be spending a lot of time here.

Theresa: Thank you.

[Telephone rings]

Whitney: Hello?

Theresa: Oh, Whitney, thank goodness it's you. Where's my mother?

Whitney: In her room. Where are you, Theresa?

Theresa: I'm still here at the Crane mansion.

Whitney: Well, how did it go? Was Mrs. Crane mad when you turned down the job offer?

Theresa: Not exactly.

Whitney: Well, what did she say?

Theresa: I didn't tell her, Whitney.

Whitney: Get out, Theresa!

Theresa: I tried, Whitney -- I swear I did -- but she just didn't give me a chance. And when she just started describing all the things I'd be doing for her as her personal secretary, I just couldn't. Oh, it's fabulous, Whitney. A dream job of a lifetime.

Whitney: Well, aren't you forgetting about one little problem named Ethan?

Theresa: I already figured it out. All I have to do is steer clear of him, keep out of his sight.

Whitney: When you're working for his mother in his own house? You are certifiable, Theresa.

Theresa: I know I can pull it off, Whitney. I won't let him see me, that's all.

******************************************************************************

Miguel: Thanks for trying to set me up with that girl, even if it didn't work out. You're a real pal, Kay.

Jessica: She sure is. A real pal -- and a great first baseman, too. I'm so lucky she's my sister.

Miguel: You got that right, Jessica. It's nice that you know. I'll catch you guys tomorrow.

Kay: Well, maybe we can get lunch, Miguel.

Miguel: Sure. Ok. Hey, why don't you come, too, Reese.

Reese: That would be great.

Miguel: It'll give you and Kay a chance to make up for tonight. It didn't work out for any of us the way we'd planned.

Jessica: You can say that again.

Miguel: Good night.

Kay: Good night. What are you still doing here, Reese?

Reese: Well, I thought maybe you and I could go out and sit on the porch for a minute?

Kay: No! I'm -- I have a splitting headache.

Reese: I'll get you some aspirin.

Kay: Thanks anyway, Reese, but I think the best thing you can do for me now is just leave. You know how it is when you're in extreme pain.

Reese: Oh, yes. You just need to be alone.

Kay: Right.

Reese: Well, take good care of her, will you, Jessica?

Jessica: I will, Reese.

Reese: And thanks for setting up my date with your sister.

Jessica: It was my pleasure.

Reese: Good night, Kay. It was my pleasure.

Kay: Laugh now, Jessica. This is your last night on earth.

Jessica: Get over it, Kay. You have to admit, my plan to set you up with Reese wasn't any more evil than your plan to set yourself up with Miguel.

Kay: You wrecked my life, and now I'm going to kill you. I'm going to flush your head down the toilet.

Simone: You'd better run for your life, Jessica. She's serious this time.

Jessica: Mom! Mom! Come quick, mom! Mom, help me!

Kay: I am going to kill you!

Jessica: Shut up! Get away from me!

Grace: I need to be at the church. I don't know why, but I have to go there.

******************************************************************************

Charity: I don't hear it anymore.

Tabitha: [Child's voice] Help me! Help me! I'm scared!

Charity: There it is again. What if it's a lost child?

Tabitha: Help me!

Tabitha: [Normal voice] Well done, if I do say so myself. Now all we have to do is get her away from the church and her mommy.

Tabitha: [Child's voice] Oh, help me! I'm scared! I'm scared!

Charity: Where are you? Show me where you are. Are you all right?

Tabitha: [Normal voice] We've got her.

******************************************************************************

Luis: If you need anything, just call.

Sheridan: I'd rather die than ask you for anything.

Luis: Suit yourself.

Woman: I could think of a couple things he could do for me.

Sheridan: Excuse me?

Woman: Why can't I get arrested by a cop who looks like that?

Sheridan: You think he's good-looking?

Woman: Drop-dead gorgeous is more like it. Honey, what, are you blind?

Sheridan: No. I'm just through with men.

******************************************************************************

Sam: Ms. Crane all settled in?

Luis: I don't know if I'd call it settled, but she's in. Thanks for backing up my collar, Sam.

Sam: I wish that's all it took. Cranes don't forget their enemies.

Luis: That's ok. Neither do I.

******************************************************************************

Whitney: Get out of the Crane house right now, Theresa. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just leave. You can quit the job tomorrow when you come to your senses.

Theresa: I'm not making any promises, Whitney. But you're right about one thing. I'd better get out of here before Ethan comes home. Ok. Bye.

Theresa: Oh.

Ethan: Oh. God, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you. This fog's like pea soup.

Theresa: It's my fault.

Ethan: Oh, my God. It's you. You're the girl I've been looking for.

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