Passions Transcript Monday 7/26/99 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Monday 7/26/99
 
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Provided by Boo
Proofread by Ebele

Luis: Morning, bro. You ever hear of a glass?

Miguel: Don't worry about it, Luis. I don't have any germs. By the way, nice paint job.

Luis: Thanks. Where's mama?

Miguel: She already left for work.

Luis: Shoot. I want to talk to her about quitting her job with the Cranes.

Miguel: Again? You know she's not going to listen to you. I mean, the family needs her paycheck. What did the Cranes do to ruffle your feathers this time?

Luis: Just some trouble at the Crane mansion last night. I just want her to be extra careful around there. Theresa home from the cannery yet?

Miguel: Uh, no. Not yet.

Luis: That's funny. Her shift ended over an hour ago. Maybe she got some overtime.

Miguel: Maybe.

Luis: I'll tell you, I'm so proud of her. I mean, it seems like she's finally getting on with her life and getting over those crazy fantasies about Ethan Crane.

Miguel: Yeah.

******************************************************************************

Theresa: I was afraid to talk to you, Ethan. Every time I saw you, I spilled something on you.

Ethan: Those were accidents. I know you didn't do it because you hated me.

Theresa: Oh, no. I love you.

Ethan: And I forgive you for everything. I'm glad you called to explain it all to me.

Theresa: You mean that?

Ethan: With all my heart. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, Theresa.

******************************************************************************

Simone: I got you a latte. Fat-free.

Kay: Thanks. It's d-day, Simone -- the day I get Miguel to stop thinking of me as one of the guys and discover me as a woman.

Simone: Not to be a downer, Kay, but what if he doesn't?

Kay: Don't even think it, Simone. Miguel's going to be mine. Now, are you going to help me or not?

Simone: What do you want me to do?

Kay: You can start by numbering these sashes for the contestants.

Simone: Ok. You do realize that as soon as the guys see these, they're going to know they've been tricked into entering a beefcake contest. What if they walk off, refuse to compete?

Kay: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I always think of something.

Jessica: What a waste of time and money. How much did all this ribbon cost?

Kay: None of your business, brat. Get out of here.

Jessica: No way. This is my room, too. I'm just trying to save you some heartache. We all know Miguel's got it bad for some girl he saw at the carnival yesterday. How did he describe her? I remember. Beautiful blond hair and the most amazing eyes he's ever seen.

Kay: I don't care what she looks like. There's no way I'm losing Miguel to some strange girl whose name he doesn't even know. Just let her try to show her face in Harmony again.

[Music plays]

******************************************************************************

Charity: Who was that boy? I don't even know his name. Mom? Don't say no until you hear me out. Can we go back to Harmony today? Please? Mom? Mom, are you out there?

******************************************************************************

Tabitha: Away, away. Keep far away. No more days like yesterday.

[Tabitha hums]

Timmy: What's all that screeching, Tabitha? You woke Timmy up.

Tabitha: Let the darkness take the light!

Timmy: Tabitha, please stop it.

Tabitha: Curses, Timmy. Can't you see I'm busy?

Timmy: Yesterday was such a hard day for Timmy. I was hoping we could sleep in.

Tabitha: This is no time for sleep. Do you know what this is, Timmy?

Timmy: One of your toys, Tabitha?

Tabitha: No. No, it's not a toy. This is a spirit board, and you ought to thank your lucky stars that it doesn't have a message for us this morning about that woman and her brat. We've got to get out of here.

Timmy: No kidding. I was ready 10 minutes ago.

Tabitha: Shh!

Timmy: Timmy didn't like the way they made him fly around.

Tabitha: What, do you think it was a picnic for me? Don't worry, Timmy. I've taken care of it. They're no longer a threat to us.

******************************************************************************

Theresa: Do you really think I'm beautiful, Ethan?

Ethan: Maybe this will convince you.

[Telephone rings]

Theresa: I wish someone would answer that phone.

[Ring]

Whitney: Hello?

Miguel: Hey, Whitney. It's Miguel.

Whitney: Oh, hi, Miguel.

Miguel: Is my sister still there?

Whitney: Still fast asleep.

Miguel: It was nice of you to let her sleep at your house.

Whitney: Well, I couldn't let her go home and face Luis.

Miguel: No kidding. Our big brother's going to kill her when he finds out she lost another job over Ethan. That's why I was calling. You'd better wake her up so she can figure out how to break the bad news to him.

Theresa: You are not going to believe the great dream I just had, Whitney. I explained everything to Ethan, and he forgave me. He was about to kiss me when I --

Miguel: Don't even say it, Theresa.

Theresa: Miguel. Where are you?

Miguel: On the phone, Cinderella.

Whitney: I put him on speaker.

Miguel: There's no way after last night you can go back to thinking you still have a chance with Ethan.

Theresa: Why not?

Whitney: Oh, Theresa.

Miguel: No!

******************************************************************************

Gwen: Knock, knock.

Ethan: Hey, Gwen.

Gwen: Hi.

Gwen: Well, you don't look a bit the worse for wear after last night, Ethan.

Ethan: Pretty surprising, considering yesterday has to be one of the worst days of my life.

Gwen: Certainly one of the smelliest.

Ethan: And I can't decide which one's worse -- that crazy girl who dumped the fish guts on me at the cannery or our run-in with that cop who hates my family because our name is Crane. You know, anyway, today has to be an improvement.

Gwen: Well, you're very resilient, Ethan -- one of the many things I love about you.

Ethan: I hope you love determined people, too, because today's mission is to find that psycho girl who's been after me and let her know her stalking days are over.

******************************************************************************

Kay: Did you hear Jessica, Miguel? My bratty baby sister thinks some strange girl is going to take you from me.

Miguel: You don't believe her, do you, Kay?

Kay: I told her she was wrong, but she'll say anything to make me mad.

Miguel: Why would I look at anyone else if I could have you? You're my soul mate.

Kay: That's what I thought, Miguel.

Jessica: My sister's losing it, Simone.

Simone: Are you all right, Kay?

Kay: I'm better than all right. Miguel and I are soul mates.

Jessica: Teammates, yes. Soul mates -- I don't think so.

Kay: Well, what do you know, Jessica? You're just a kid -- an evil kid.

Jessica: I know a few things -- like you may be an ok softball player, but I bet that girl Miguel saw at the carnival is better at other kinds of games -- the kind of games boys play at night in the dark.

Kay: I can play those games, too.

Simone: She claims she's very experienced.

Jessica: Oh, right. The closest she's ever come to getting to first base with a guy is during a softball game.

Kay: Well, that's what you know, Jessica. I've even seen Miguel naked.

Jessica: Liar. You've never seen Miguel naked.

Kay: Want to bet? Tell her, Simone.

Simone: Well --

Jessica: It's true?

Kay: I've seen him completely naked. I'll bet this other girl hasn't, whoever she is.

******************************************************************************

Charity: Mom? Mom? Oh, my God. Mom? Mom, say something. Mom. Mom? Mom.

******************************************************************************

Luis: Hey, bro. Is Theresa home yet?

Miguel: Uh -- no.

Luis: Now I'm starting to get worried about her. Maybe I ought to go down to the cannery.

Miguel: No. I'm sure she's fine.

Luis: No matter how much she hated the idea of taking that summer job at first, I know it'll be good for her. I mean, it'll help her build her confidence, and she can put away money for college at the same time.

Miguel: Hmm.

Luis: I got to tell you, bro, I was really getting worried about her. I mean, all those crazy fantasies about living the life of the Cranes. But she's over it. I mean, she's gotten her first taste of reality, and I think she's going to do ok.

Miguel: You want some toast?

Luis: What? No, I'll just have juice. And when I think of how it could have gone the other way -- I mean, what if the impossible had happened? What if Theresa had gotten together with Ethan Crane?

Miguel: Lighten up, Luis. It's not going to happen.

Luis: You're right. She's finally over that insane crush with Ethan Crane. I'm going to drop by the station.

Miguel: All right. I'll catch you later.

Luis: Ok, bro.

Miguel: Hey, you didn't forget about that contest, did you?

Luis: No, I didn't. I don't know why Kay Bennett told us to bring our swimsuits.

Miguel: Must be some kind of swim meet.

Luis: Well, if it is, bro, don't bother to even show up. You know the gold medal's mine.

Miguel: Get over it, man. I'll lap you any day of the week.

Luis: Oh, yeah? Since when, little boy?

Miguel: Since you got to be an old man, big boy.

Luis: Oh, I'll show you how old of a man I am. But I haven't got the time right now.

Miguel: Yeah.

Luis: Yeah. Hey, listen, if you see Theresa, tell her to call me. I want to hear all about her night.

******************************************************************************

Kay: Last fall, I sneaked into the boys' locker room after football practice.

Jessica: You did not.

Kay: Want to bet? It was right after tryouts, and a bunch of the new guys were in uniform.

Simone: I was too scared of getting busted. I waited outside.

Jessica: Then you don't know for sure it happened.

Simone: Do, too. Your sister had too many details to have made it up.

Jessica: So how did you get into the boys' locker room? How come nobody stopped a girl?

Kay: Because I didn't look like a girl. I was wearing shoulder pads and a helmet.

Jessica: Get out!

Kay: I even had Simone put those ugly black smudges under my eyes. I still don't know what they're for, but who cares? It worked. So once I looked the part, I just swaggered right in with the other guys.

Simone: Tell how you patted Jimmy O'brien's butt like the other guys were doing.

Kay: It was firm, like a rock.

Jessica: I don't believe this.

Kay: You should have seen the locker room. What a pigsty. The smell alone could have killed me. But I had a bet with Simone, and I wasn't about to back out. Guys were taking showers and horsing around and stuff. I even got my rear end snapped with a towel a couple times, but it was worth it, believe me.

Jessica: Why? Then what happened?

Kay: I think you've heard enough.

Jessica: Don't you dare stop now, Kay Bennett.

Kay: Ok. But don't say I didn't warn you. It was worth it because all of a sudden, there he was -- straight out of the shower, Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald in all his glory. And I do mean glory. It was worth any risk. Let me tell you, he made a big impression on me.

Simone: See what I mean? She really did it.

Jessica: Wow!

Kay: I was this close. I would have gotten even closer, but some of the guys caught me staring and I didn't want them to think I was gay.

******************************************************************************

Charity: Ok, mom. Ok?

Faith: Yeah.

Charity: I'm going to go call an ambulance, ok?

Faith: No, Charity. I don't need an ambulance. I need a priest.

Charity: What are you talking about?

Faith: There's nothing wrong with me physically. This is about my soul.

Charity: Please don't do your religious thing on me now, mom.

Faith: I mean it, Charity. That howling we heard from the woods last night --

Charity: What about it?

Faith: It was a beast not of this earth, and it was trying to get in the house.

Charity: You probably just had a bad dream. Look, I'll show you.

Faith: No, Charity, don't! It might still be out there.

******************************************************************************

Tabitha: Oh, spirits of the air, work through these gnarled, old hands and tell Tabitha if she has anything to fear.

[Tabitha hums]

Timmy: Timmy's allergic to incense.

Tabitha: Then take a pill. Just be quiet, Timmy. This is important. Oh, spirit board, tell me if we're still in danger.

[Timmy coughs]

Tabitha: No news is good news, Timmy. The board would tell us if we still had to fear Grace Bennett's twin sister and her daughter. We've won. Time to celebrate. Let's go and stomp on somebody's flower garden. And that's nothing compared to what I've got in store for Grace Bennett and her family. And now there's nothing to protect them from me.

Grace: Kay Elizabeth Bennett, what were you just talking about?

Kay: Me? Just now? Uh --

Jessica: If you don't remember, I can fill in mom and dad.

Sam: Well, somebody better tell me and fast.

Jessica: Well, you know how much I look up to Kay since she's my older sister. I learn a lot by listening to her.

Sam: And that's what your mother and I are afraid of. Your sister, Kay is a very bright young woman, but one daughter who gets herself involved in outlandish, crazy schemes is enough. That goes for you, too, Simone. I don't think you want me to talk to your father about --

Simone: Oh, no, Mr. Bennett. Please don't.

Grace: As for you, Kay, your father and I will speak to you tonight. Do you have any idea what that was about?

Sam: I don't know. All I heard was Kay said something about some guys thought she was a gay football player?

Grace: Shh, shh.

Kay: Thanks a lot, Jessica. That's just one more crime to add to my list.

Jessica: I'm not scared of your stupid old grudge list.

Kay: Well, you should be because it keeps getting longer. Lucky for you, I'm working on my plan to get Miguel today.

******************************************************************************

Miguel: Oh, Luis. You left your keys by the front door.

Luis: Oh, right. You're right. I'll see you later, bro.

Miguel: All right.

******************************************************************************

Theresa: I owe you, Miguel.

Miguel: No kidding. I feel lousy, letting Luis go on thinking you still have your job at the cannery.

Theresa: What did he say?

Miguel: All he talks about is how proud he is of you, how you've finally grown up and seen the light. He's not going to take it very well when he finds out you've lost another job because of Ethan.

Theresa: I know.

Whitney: What is it with your brother Luis and the Crane family, anyway?

Miguel: He's hated them as long as I can remember. Just hearing their name is like waving a red flag in front of him. I'm beginning to think he has a point.

Theresa: I don't buy his theory that the Cranes have something to do with papa's disappearance. Mama doesn't either.

Miguel: Maybe she just doesn't want to accept it.

Theresa: Well, it still doesn't give Luis the right to try to run our lives.

Miguel: You can tell him that when he finds out about your job.

Theresa: I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get another job before Luis finds out I'm not at the cannery.

Miguel: And just how are you going to do that? Nobody's hiring.

Theresa: Maybe Ethan will help me after he understands that last night was just an accident, like all the other times.

Whitney: You're crazy. Theresa, what makes you think Ethan Crane would do anything to help you? He probably thinks you're stalking him.

Theresa: I'm not so sure about that. All my dreams tell me Ethan's going to marry me. And don't forget the fortuneteller at the carnival.

Whitney: I wish I could.

Miguel: I can't believe we're back to this.

Theresa: Ok. I did get a little discouraged when I thought Ethan was engaged to Gwen Hotchkiss, but he's not. He's free, which is all the sign I need to know that someday he's going to be mine. Now I wonder why I ever doubted it, even for a minute.

******************************************************************************

Ethan: Yeah. Ok, thanks. The cannery foreman's off today, and nobody seems to know the name of the girl who attacked me last night. She's brand-new -- hadn't even filled out her paperwork.

Gwen: Isn't it kind of strange that she knew you were going to be there last night?

Ethan: Yeah, but what else is new. Everything that girl has done has been strange.

Gwen: Who knows what drives a person like that.

Ethan: Well, you can be damn sure I'm going to ask her once I find her -- before I put her away for psychiatric observation. Maybe we can drive through town this morning and look for her.

Gwen: Hmm. Aren't you forgetting about a prior engagement?

Ethan: Shoot. That contest you roped me into at the carnival.

Gwen: Hmm, what swimsuit are you going to wear?

Ethan: You can pick. What kind of competition is it that wants you to wear a bathing suit, anyway?

Gwen: Must be some sort of swim meet. Hmm. How about these?

Ethan: If you like them.

Gwen: Well, I like them very much. But I think we need to try them on to see if they still fit. They might be too small.

Ethan: Wicked, wicked girl.

******************************************************************************

Faith: Don't open the door.

Charity: Tell me exactly what happened last night, mom.

Faith: After you went to bed, there was a scratching at the front door.

Charity: It was probably just a tree branch or something.

Faith: No. It was the sound of claws digging to get in. And it was getting louder and faster, and it -- it was evil, Charity, and it was trying to get in our house.

Charity: What kind of evil, mom?

Faith: It's the kind of evil that goes back hundreds of years. Evil can take on all different sorts of faces, Charity, but it's always there. But now it knows where we live.

Charity: You mean where everyone lives.

Faith: No. I mean us. I mean you and me. And I have to do everything I can to protect you.

Charity: But you do, mom. And sometimes, I think, too much. I worry that you take all your religious beliefs a little too far. I don't believe there's anything out there that wants to hurt us.

Faith: Well, that's because you're young and you don't know.

Charity: Yeah, well, I'm not too young to know some things, like how yesterday at the carnival was the best time I've ever had. And you know why? Because we weren't hiding from all the evil. We were out in the world having fun like normal people. That's what we're supposed to be doing, mom. Not cowering in here behind all these crosses and angel figures.

Faith: Oh, sweetie, I know you don't have much of a social life being only here with me. But we live the way we do for your sake.

Charity: Yeah, I know you think that, mom, but I'm so lonely that I can't stand it anymore. I -- I want to meet people my own age like the ones yesterday at the carnival. Please? Can we at least go back there today?

Faith: All right. We'll go to the carnival, but only for the day. We have to be back before night.

Charity: Ok. Whatever you say.

Faith: I'll go change.

Charity: Could there really be something out there? No. Hmm. Scratch marks.

Charity: What kind of a claw is that?

******************************************************************************

Kay: Simone, would you mind helping me with the guys over here?

Simone: For you, Kay, I'll try. What? This is just a thought. Could we do this every week?

Kay: Don't forget, Simone, this is about me getting Miguel. Once that's a done deal, we'll work on finding a cute guy for yourself.

Simone: I'm going to hold you to that.

******************************************************************************

Jessica: Reese? It's Jessica. Can you come over to the carnival? Uh-huh. I want to give you the details on your big date tonight. And don't forget, it's our secret. Wait till Kay finds out who she's really going to end up with tonight.

******************************************************************************

Miguel: You guys might as well go home. The Lopez-Fitzgerald brothers are here, and we're ready.

Luis: Yeah, yeah! Hey, Kay.

Kay: Hey.

Luis: So, where's your mom?

Kay: My mom?

Luis: Mm-hmm.

Kay: Oh, she had a lot of stuff to do at home. She asked me to run the contest.

Miguel: How far is the swim? Is it a relay?

Kay: Well, not exactly. In fact, you'll be glad to know you don't even have to get wet.

Simone: Just oiled.

Luis: I don't get it. Why would you tell us to bring our swimsuits?

Kay: Well, um --

Miguel: So, what kind of contest is this, anyway?

Luis: Oh, don't look now, Miguel. We've been had.

Miguel: "Mr. Harmony hunk"? Forget it.

Luis: Sorry, girls. You got the wrong guys. Come on, bro.

Kay: No, you can't leave. It'll disappoint my mother so much. You know how much it means to her to have the carnival be a success.

Luis: Come on. Let me get this straight. Your mother, Grace Bennett, actually planned a hunk contest?

Kay: I know. It's weird. But she was adamant about this. I think she might be going through the change. And I know my father, your boss, would appreciate you humoring my mom.

Luis: You're not playing fair, now, Kay.

Miguel: The Bennetts are good people, Luis. Maybe it won't be so bad.

Luis: I still don't like it.

Miguel: Yeah, I don't like it, either, bro. But it's for charity, right?

Kay: Every penny. You can change with the other guys over there.

Simone: I'll be glad to put the oil on your bodies -- I mean, if you need help.

Luis: I think we can manage.

Kay: Hey. Don't forget -- this is about me getting Miguel first. Then we'll work on finding someone for you. There's only one contestant who hasn't shown up -- that Ethan guy?

******************************************************************************

Whitney: If you call Ethan Crane, it'll be the biggest mistake of your life, Theresa.

Theresa: I'm sure once I explain to Ethan everything, it'll be all right. Yes. Hello. Hi. May I speak with Ethan Crane, please? He's not? No, that's ok. It'll be all right. I'll try back later. Thanks. I wonder where he is.

******************************************************************************

Sam: What happened to that innocent baby we brought home from the hospital?

Grace: Kay has always been a handful, but I love her spirit.

Sam: You call it spirit. I call it mischief. When I was her age, I didn't get into half the amount of trouble she's managed to get herself into. What about you? I'm sorry.

Grace: No, no, no. That's ok. I wish I knew what I was like as a teenager. Maybe Kay's just like me. Or maybe I have a sister and Kay's just like her. I would give anything to know if I have a family.

Sam: I haven't stopped looking.

Grace: Yeah, I know. I just -- I keep thinking about that person on the internet, the one named 'seeker' who contacted you. It seemed like they knew me.

Sam: I don't know why they broke off contact with me. I mean, I've been back to the missing persons chat room, but as far as I know, they haven't been back. Look, what do you say we check it out right now? I mean, maybe today will be our lucky day to finally find out about your past.

******************************************************************************

Charity: It's so big. It must have been a raccoon or something. What else could it be?

Faith: Ready.

Charity: I checked outside, mom.

Faith: I told you not to, Charity.

Charity: But I didn't want you to worry. I'm sure I was right before. It was probably just a little animal looking for some food or something.

Faith: I hope you're right.

Charity: You're thinking about your twin sister, huh?

Faith: I would give anything to know where she is.

Charity: We'll find her someday, mom. But we better hurry if we're going to make the bus to Harmony.

Faith: Ok. I'm just going to grab my laptop. Might do some work while we're traveling.

Charity: Whatever you say.

******************************************************************************

Tabitha: Hey, get your greedy mitts off.

Timmy: Those are Timmy's favorites.

Tabitha: Well, there's Graham crackers in the pantry. I'm taking these homemade ones over to Grace's.

Timmy: But you bought them at a grocery store.

Tabitha: That's because the only thing I know how to bake is devil's food cake. Get it, Timmy?

Timmy: Timmy's tired. Timmy's going to take a nap.

Tabitha: What's the matter with you, you poky little runt?

Timmy: Huh?

Tabitha: Iron-poor blood? You only just got up.

Timmy: I'm still trying to get over what that girl and her mother put me through yesterday.

Tabitha: Oh.

******************************************************************************

Sam: This is the missing persons chat room where the person called 'seeker' responded to my message about you.

Grace: So it's kind of like a telephone call party line.

Sam: You got it. Anybody ever tell you, you are a regular computer whiz?

Grace: Not lately. I just wish that seeker was in the chat room today.

[Footsteps]

Tabitha: Hello? Anybody home?

Sam: Tabitha.

Grace: Be nice. Come on in, Tabitha.

Tabitha: There you are, dears. I brought you a little plate of goodies.

Grace: Thank you. You shouldn't have.

Tabitha: Just my little way of saying how much I appreciate my wonderful next-door neighbors. Hope you like them.

Grace: Oh, I'm sure we will. They're Sam's favorite. Aren't they, Sam?

Sam: Mmm. Very good. Well, if you'll both excuse me, I have some things to do upstairs.

Tabitha: So, tell me about your girls. You know, I'm so fond of them.

Grace: They're great. Yeah, I mean, that is when they're not busy being two little witches.

Tabitha: Oh. I'm sure my mother said that about me when I was their age. Oh. You've got one of these. What are they called?

Grace: Computers? I don't really know much about it. Sam was giving me a lesson.

Tabitha: Is that right? Ooh, I've never seen one up close before.

Grace: I'm hoping it'll uncover something about my past.

Tabitha: Oh, yes. Such a tragedy that you can't remember the first 20 years of your life.

Grace: You know, Sam did find someone on there, though. Their name was 'seeker', and they seemed to know me. That's what we were doing when you came in -- trying to reconnect with them.

******************************************************************************

Faith: I don't know, Charity. I don't want to know.

Charity: Only 20 more minutes.

Faith: Are you counting the minutes until you see Harmony again, or is it somebody special that lives there?

Charity: It was a nice town, mom.

Faith: And?

Charity: Ok. So there is a boy there, but we barely talked. He probably doesn't even remember meeting me.

Faith: Hmm. My little girl is growing up.

******************************************************************************

Luis: So, what's her name, little brother?

Miguel: Whose name?

Luis: The girl who put that stupid smile on your face. I know all the signs.

Miguel: Would you believe I don't even know her name?

Luis: Oh, that's lame. Obviously you haven't been paying close enough attention to the amazing technique of your older brother. Grab me some oil. No, no, no. Not that stuff.

Miguel: What's the matter with it?

Luis: That's old coach Clark's cure-all. Sore muscles. I mean -- remember? People complained of an ache or pain, he would rub that liniment on them.

Miguel: This is the stuff?

Luis: Yeah.

Miguel: Oh, man. I remember. It would go on nice and cool, then catch fire. You'd be in so much agony from the liniment, you'd forget your aching back.

Luis: Yeah. Try this. There's enough there for you and me. So tell me about this girl whose name you don't know.

Miguel: She's beautiful. I mean, I don't know what else to say.

Luis: Man, you've been bitten. That's love.

Miguel: Really? You ever been in love, Luis?

Luis: Yeah. Lots of times. Only it wasn't the kind of love that people marry for. All right. Nobody needs to wear these because nobody's beating the Lopez-Fitzgerald brothers!

Luis and Miguel: Yeah!

******************************************************************************

Ethan: "Mr. Harmony hunk"? Sorry, I don't think so.

Gwen: Oh, Ethan, come on. Be a sport. It's to raise money for charity.

Ethan: You really want me to strut around in front of strangers in my bathing suit?

Gwen: Well, I can think of worse ways of spending a couple of hours.

Ethan: You're a great help, Gwen.

******************************************************************************

Kay: I understand. You're afraid of losing.

Ethan: Losing? I don't think so. Where do I change?

Kay: Over there. Don't forget to put on some body oil before you come back.

Ethan: What?

Gwen: Oh, stop acting so shocked. Try and enjoy this as much as I'm going to. Besides, I've always wanted to sleep with a muscleman.

Ethan: In that case --

[As Arnold Schwarzenegger] See you later.

Simone: Gwen, how about we get some really good front-row seats?

Gwen: Ok.



 

Whitney: I see Josie over there. I'll be right back. And, Theresa, do not try to call Ethan again while I'm gone.

Theresa: Don't worry, Whitney.

Whitney: Josie!

Kay: What took you so long, Theresa? The contest is about to start.

Theresa: I just need another minute. Do you know where there's a phone?

Kay: Can't it wait? I need you to go check on the guys and make sure they're wearing their sashes before they come on. The locker room's right over there.

Theresa: Ok.

******************************************************************************

Miguel: Come on, guys. Suck in those beer bellies. We're on.

Man: Let's get it!

Second man: Let's go!

Miguel: Yeah!

Luis: Well. If it isn't Ethan Crane.

Ethan: And if it isn't the handcuff-happy cop -- minus his uniform. Don't tell me you're in this, too.

Luis: Doing a friend a favor. What's your excuse?

Ethan: Didn't know what I was signing up for. May the best man win.

Luis: Thank you. I will.

Theresa: Hello? Is anyone still in here?

Ethan: Only me. I'll be out in a minute.

Theresa: Ok, but hurry up. The contest is about to start, and I have a really important phone call to make.

Ethan: I'll be right there.

******************************************************************************

Faith: Wish I could connect with that missing persons chat room. Maybe the person who was asking about Grace is back.

Charity: Do you really think they were talking about your sister?

Faith: Positive. I mean, the only thing I'm not certain about is whether or not I can trust them if I do find them again. It could be a trick.

Charity: One of your forces of evil?

Faith: It's not a joke, Charity.

Charity: Well, real or not, I don't want to think about that right now.

Faith: Ok. We'll have time enough to talk about that later. For now, I want you to gather up as many happy memories as you can and remember them later when things get hard.

Charity: Mom, you promised. We are just going to have fun today. Look. We're almost at the carnival.

******************************************************************************

Tabitha: Oh, you two didn't have to walk me home.

Grace: It was no trouble at all, Tabitha. And thanks again for the lovely homemade cookies.

Tabitha: Oh, anytime. I hope you like them, Sam.

Sam: Oh, I'm sure I will.

Tabitha: Well, have a good time at the carnival.

Grace: Oh, you're not going to stop by?

Tabitha: No, I think I'll stay home today and rest these old bones.

Grace: All right. Well, take care.

Tabitha: Bye-bye, now.

Sam: Homemade cookies, my badge. They're store-bought.

Grace: What's the difference, Sam? It's the thought that counts.

Sam: She's a strange bird.

Grace: Well, she's a little old and eccentric, but she's harmless.

******************************************************************************

Tabitha: Goody two-shoes Bennetts! No way am I going to let Grace contact her sister with that computer. If I have to, I'll send a virus through the entire internet! Lazy, good-for-nothing doll.

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