OLTL Transcript Friday 12/16/11

One Life to Live Transcript Friday 12/16/11

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Episode # 11087

Provided By Suzanne

Blair: Sam, how many times have I told you about this?

Sam: I know. Blanca's only for grownups.

[Both laugh]

Blair: That's right. Besides, we've got some really important stuff we got to do, bud.

Starr: Oh, yeah. There's a huge Christmas tree outside.

Blair: Let me feel the muscles. Let's see if you can help me. I need a big, strong guy to do it. Bring it in.

Todd: Well, hold on. There's two of them right here.

Sam: Yes!

Jessica: Ah, you finally found mom's box of ornaments.

Natalie: Yeah, well, you know, it wouldn't be Christmas without homemade ornaments. You want to help?

Jessica: No, I don't want to intrude.

Natalie: On what?

Jessica: Well, I thought that John would be around. Isn't he helping you with this?

Natalie: No. John has better things to do than be with me.

Dr. Gangemi: Did the show start yet?

About to. I thought you had the afternoon off?

Dr. Gangemi: I did, but Whitman called in sick, so I stuck around. Anyway, I got a page about an incoming labor --

John: Hey! Hey! I need a little help here.

Téa: It's the baby.

Nora: Hey. We need to talk.

Matthew: David's on "Blanca Morales."

Bo: Yeah. We're DVRing it. What's going on with you and destiny?

Nora: She was very upset when she left here. Did you say something to her?

Matthew: Well, I said I wish we were giving our baby up for adoption. That may have upset her.

Shaun: Nice of you to join us.

Destiny: Look, I got held up.

Roxanne: You have trouble getting in?

Destiny: No, the pass your friend in the hair department got me worked fine.

Shaun: Then what's the problem?

Destiny: Matthew.

Shaun: Do you need me to talk to him?

Destiny: No. No, that's -- I think I should just got home. You'll be better off without me, anyway.

Shaun: No way. I was supposed to meet Viv. I did not ditch her just so I could back up this crazy scheme of Roxy's.

Roxanne: Shh!

Blanca: We have a bona fide superstar in the house. You may know him as the leading man in the major upcoming motion picture "the boy with the chipmunk tattoo."

[Cheers and applause]

Blanca: Or from the splash he made playing himself in "Vicker man." I know him as a very dear friend and a great kisser. Here's David Vickers Buchanan!

[Cheers and applause]

Shaun: So what now?

Roxanne: Now we get David to save "Fraternity Row."

Destiny: But what if he doesn't?

Roxanne: If he doesn't, he's gonna be the one who needs saving.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Blanca: David --

David: Whoo! All right!

Blanca: What is your wife, senator Dorian lord Vickers Buchanan, gonna think about that?

David: Well, I think she'd say that we're even now, because I didn't make a federal case when she was caught with a republican from Arizona and she was working on a stimulus package in the cloak room.

Blanca: You're terrible. You must lead quite the exciting life -- jetting from the nation's capital to exotic location shoots. Visiting Llanview must be such a --

David: A thrill, a joy, a long-overdue dream come true? It's all that, Blanca, and so much more. Funny story. Dorian's actually a little ticked off with me right now. She thinks I got a fat head because I've been on E.W.'S "must hit" list three weeks running. But you know what? I'm just a person. I'm just like you. Just like all of you. So, to come back and get a reality check here among my friends and my family and the people who love me...

[Cheers and applause]

Blanca: So you stay abreast of all the goings on back home?

David: Oh, absolutely. I'm a voracious reader. The sun is required reading. You know, I have a lot of downtime on my movie set, so I'm sort of dabbling in writing, and let me tell you something -- writing is so easy.

Sam: I knew Jack was wrong. I knew you didn't kill my dad.

Todd: Wow. It's good to see you, too, Sam.

Sam: Did you bring any presents?

Starr: Sam!

Todd: No, no. That's great. It's a perfectly valid question, one that I will crib for all future conversations.

Blair: Look at the two of you together. You know, but somebody forgot the tree stand, here.

Todd: Jack invited me.

Jack: Let's get that stand.

Todd: Would it kill you to smile?

Jack: You want me to smile after you blackmailed me into inviting you here?

Todd: I blackmailed you into playing a little game of father and son. You invited me here on your own. And you're going to bond with me publicly and you're gonna like it.

Jack: Or what?

Todd: Or I call John McBain and tell him about your little debut as an arsonist. Merry Christmas.

Just try to stay calm, Téa. The doctor needs to ask you some questions.

Téa: Okay.

Dr. Gangemi: Have you had any spotting?

Dr. Gangemi: Okay. Can you describe the pain?

Téa: Um, it's like a knot right here. It comes and then it goes away for a little while.

Dr. Gangemi: Has it gotten any worse?

Téa: No.

Dr. Gangemi: What were you doing when it first came on?

Téa: McBain and I were talking.

Dr. Gangemi: That's all?

John: She, uh, she doubled over, and I got her here as fast as I could.

Dr. Gangemi: You did good. Téa, we're gonna do everything we can to make sure your baby's okay. We're gonna need a sonogram.

John: Hey. Hey. Everything's gonna be all right.

Jessica: I thought that you and John were --

Natalie: Together? Yeah, no such luck.

Jessica: Well, it's just when you guys came back from Michigan, you looked so happy.

Natalie: Yeah, well... we had just gotten Liam back. I'm sure we were still on that high.

Jessica: I thought it was more than that.

Natalie: Yeah, well, so did I, but it wasn't.

Jessica: So what happened?

Natalie: Nothing -- just that I was reminded that you need more than a baby to put two people together.

Nora: You told destiny you wanted to give up the baby for adoption?

Matthew: Well, I also said I understand it's not my decision and I won't bail out on her.

Bo: But if it was up to you --

Matthew: I would do the only thing that makes sense, and that's give the baby to a family who's actually ready to raise a child... who is actually old enough to raise a child. Now, if destiny is willing to give up school, friends, her social life, that's fine. But I'm not ready for that.

Blanca: Tell us about "the boy with the chipmunk tattoo."

David: Ah.

Blanca: It was shot in Sweden?

David: Yeah.

Blanca: What was that like?

David: Well, I'll tell you something. If I never see another Swedish meatball, it'll be too soon.

[Laughter]

Destiny: Sorry. I should really go.

Shaun: Destiny. Come on. Tell me what happened with Matthew.

Destiny: He's a jerk.

Shaun: Hey. That's your baby's father you're talking about.

Destiny: Not if he has anything to say about it.

Shaun: What do you mean?

Destiny: He just told me he doesn't want anything to do with this baby. He's just like that brother of his. If Matthew could, he'd turn his back and leave me in the dust, just like David's doing to "Fraternity Row."

Roxanne: Not happening, 'cause David is gonna see the terror of his ways, and that is a promise.

Blanca: And what about those already-famous nude scenes with your lovely costar?

David: Oh, those were grueling.

Blanca: [Laughing] I'll bet.

David: I am not kidding you. Scarjo -- she has a real craft to what she does. She's a real pro, and no sacrifice was too much.

Blanca: For your art?

David: For my fans!

[Cheers and applause]

Roxanne: If you care so much about your fans, why don't you save "Fraternity Row"?

Nora: There are adjustments that will have to be made.

Matthew: Mom, "adjustments" is getting a dog. Having a child is kissing your life goodbye.

Nora: Well, you should have thought of that before you started kissing other things. Okay. A decision had to be made. You were in no place to make the decision, so the decision --

Matthew: A decision that was right for you! Did you ever stop and think about how I might feel if I woke up to find out that destiny is gonna be having a kid because you gave up on me?

Bo: No one gave up on you.

Nora: We were doing the best we could.

Matthew: Oh, like guilting her into keeping the baby? You know, if you would have stayed out of this, none of this would be happening.

Bo: Matthew, I know it's got to be tough to wake up after being out for so long and find out that life has gone on without you. We cannot unmake this decision. We have to do our best to live with it.

Nora: And arrangements have been made for the baby, so you can go and live your life. You can go to college, because the Evanses, your father, and I will help raise the baby.

Matthew: Oh, what? So I can be a deadbeat? Oh, thanks. Destiny already thinks I'm a jerk.

Roxanne: I'm here to present an ignited front.

David: Can you cut to commercial? I know this woman. She's deranged.

Blanca: Deranged sells. Ma'am, please, tell us who you are.

Roxanne: Hi. I'm Roxanne Louise Lipchitz Balsom, and I am the owner of foxy Roxy's hair haven downtown. Your hair always grows, so we never close. Oh, yeah. We also do Brazilian waxes.

Blanca: You were saying about "Fraternity Row"?

Roxanne: Uh, yes. I want to bring attention to the fact that my favorite soap opera has been canceled.

Shaun: Not just hers.

Destiny: Ours too.

Shaun: Hi, mom!

Roxanne: Okay. And this is my posse over here, minus one overworked butler. But we represent a group called "S.O.S." "Save our stories."

Matthew: Can we not talk about this right now? Pretty soon our lives are gonna be all baby all the time, all right? David's on "Blanca Morales," and I'd like to enjoy my last few days before I become a teenage father.

Blanca: Wait a minute.

David: Destiny, you should go home. In your condition, you need to relax. You certainly shouldn't be crashing talk shows with these crazy -- with these creative soap fans. [Chuckles]

Destiny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to take it easy. If only I had some help from my baby's father -- your brother.

[Audience gasps] But do you see him here? No. Because now that he's out of his coma, he wants nothing to do with me, just like you want nothing to do with "Fraternity Row."

Blanca: Your passion for "Fraternity Row" is admirable, but how do you think this one guy can save it?

Roxanne: Well, Blanca, you know, David is quite a big movie star right now and his high wattage, if he lends it to "frat row," then that buzz will kind of make the ratings go right through the roof and kaboom, and then the show is saved.

Shaun: It worked for "southwest general."

Roxanne: Oh, yes, it did. Franco James -- he is so hot. You know, he played the crazy puppeteer, and everybody was talking about it. And David is almost as big a movie star as he is, but not quite. But maybe he is too big to help out his loyal fans.

[Audience groans]

Blanca: Care to comment, David?

David: [Chuckles nervously]

Blair: Stop it! Right there.

Todd: Really? Right here?

Blair: Yes. Right there. That is absolutely perfect. Okay, who wants to help me get the ornaments upstairs?

Sam: Ornaments? Yay!

Jack: Do you know how many ornaments there are?

Todd: It's okay. We'll leave all of Dorian's tacky French stuff up there.

Starr: Actually, dad, I need your help down here with me, okay?

Todd: Okay. What's that all about?

Starr: How about you give me answers? You were supposed to give mom space.

Todd: Well, don't look at me. Jack practically begged me to come here.

Starr: He did?

Todd: Yeah. Is it so wrong for a man to want to spend Christmas with his son?

Starr: Dad, mom really wants to believe that you and Jack called a truce, but come on. We both know that Jack didn't suddenly decide that you're okay.

Todd: Okay, it took a little convincing, but I do think that Jack is starting to accept that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, and it doesn't hurt that he knows I didn't kill Victor. Tomás did.

Dr. Gangemi: Don't worry. I'm gonna be checking for signs of internal bleeding or fetal distress.

Téa: And you'll be able to tell all that from the ultrasound?

Dr. Gangemi: We should see any problems.

Téa: Okay.

John: You want me to call Danielle?

Téa: No, no, no. I don't want her to worry.

John: I'm just gonna get out of your way, okay?

Téa: No, no, no. Please, please, please don't go. Stay. Stay with me.

John: Whatever you want.

Jessica: So, let me get this straight. You love John and John loves you, and you both know that you love each other, but neither one of you is willing to acknowledge it. People think that I'm crazy.

Natalie: I shouldn't have said anything.

Jessica: Why, because when you hear it out loud, you realize how ridiculous you two are?

Natalie: No. Because no one gets it. This isn't about pride, jess. It's -- it's about getting off the damn merry-go-round. Do you know that John told Roxy that he loved me way before Brody and I were supposed to get married. But he did he tell me? No!

Jessica: Maybe he didn't want to come in between you and Brody.

Natalie: No, it's because he can't forgive me. And I have apologized I can't even tell you how many times, and it's not enough. So why am I killing myself trying?

Jessica: Well, now that he knows that Liam is his son --

Natalie: It won't make a difference. But at least now I know. And I consider myself lucky because I've at least finally learned my lesson. Not many people are able to do that.

Starr: You're having a good Christmas.

Todd: Yeah. So far.

Starr: Yeah, you are. You have me and hope. Jack's finally starting to let his guard down with you, and ever since we lost Victor, I think that Sam and you have bonded.

Todd: Sam's a good kid.

Starr: That's all gonna go a long way with mom, so don't push it.

Todd: Okay. Wow. I'm not pushing.

Starr: You are pushing it! You're gonna blow it.

Blair: Okay. We are ready to go.

Starr: [Laughs]

Todd: Well, I think maybe I should be heading out.

Sam: No! Wait! We have to decorate the tree.

Todd: Sam, that's usually something that you do with your family.

Sam: You're family, too. You're my uncle.

Todd: Well, why don't -- why don't we let the family decide, then?

Starr: I'm down with it.

Todd: Jack?

Jack: Whatever.

Todd: What do you say, Blair? That leaves -- that leaves just you.

Blair: Well, it looks like the ayes have it. Here you go.

Todd: Thank you. I was taking a multivitamin... but my needs changed...

Matthew: Oh, great. Destiny just called me out on national TV.

Bo: Oh, no. No, it's not all that bad.

Blanca: Well, David? Here's your chance to prove you're nothing like that brother of yours, who left this poor pregnant teen twisting in the wind. What's his name, destiny?

Destiny: Matthew Buchanan.

Matthew: [Scoffs] Not that bad?

Roxanne: Okay. We're waiting, Vicker man. And so are all the other loyal fans of "Fraternity Row" all across the country.

David: I hear you, Roxy. My heart goes out. I'm a huge fan of "Fraternity Row," and I wish that I could help, but I -- I just can't take part in that show, even if you paid me all the gold from eternity.

Roxanne: And why not?

David: Nepotism.

Roxanne: Who's asking you to do it with a dead person?! [Laughter] Oh, that's what that means.

David: You see, my father, Bo Buchanan, used to be the executive producer of that show, so I can't join that cast because it would be a conflict of interest.

Roxanne: Okay. Then I think we should get Bo on the phone.

Bo: Oh, no.

Blanca: Do we have a number for Bo Buchanan?

Destiny: Right here. 26--

Bo: They wouldn't.

Nora: Would they?

Matthew: They are.

Blanca: We're calling David's father, Llanview police commissioner Bo Buchanan, right now.

[Telephone rings]

Bo: Don't answer it.

Matthew: Buchanan residence. It's for you.

Bo: Hello.

Blair: Commissioner Buchanan, this is Blanca Morales calling you live on the air from "the Blanca show."

Bo: Hello, Blanca.

Blair: I'm here with your son, David Vickers Buchanan, and he wants to know if you have any objection to him taking a role on "Fraternity Row."

Natalie: I was going to lie to him until death do us part, and I don't blame him for holding that against me. I mean, heck, I held it against Brody. As soon as the truth came out, I stopped the wedding.

Jessica: Do you wish you hadn't?

Natalie: No, because everyone was right. I shouldn't have been there in the first place... not with the man that my sister loved.

Jessica: You two thought you shared a child.

Natalie: So what? We could have raised him whether we were together or not, but I only have one sister, and I [Sighs] trashed that relationship after we worked so hard to build one. If there was one thing that I could take back, it wouldn't be lying to John. It would be that I lied to you...because I lost my sister.

Starr: [Gasps] Sam! What did you do with all the choc...olate! Look at you!

Sam: I'm saving them all for Santa.

Todd: Not this one.

Starr: Dad?

Todd: What?

Starr: Dad, get back here. Stop.

Todd: Hey, you want a kiss? Chocolate. You okay with me crashing like this?

Blair: Sure, why not?

Todd: I just meant you probably got a lot going on, that's all.

Blair: You mean because I was betrayed by yet another man I was stupid enough to trust?

Todd: No, what I meant was that, uh, you probably have to go out and buy a bunch of presents.

Sam: Presents, for me?

Starr: Sam, didn't I tell you that Christmas is about giving, not receiving?

Sam: I know. I have presents for everyone, even for uncle Todd.

Jack: I hope you don't expect anything in return, unless you want your own baby.

Sam: What do you mean?

Jack: Haven't you heard this story, Sam? Go on. Tell him, Todd. Tell him how you gave mom the greatest Christmas present of all time -- me.

John: You know, I kind of remember what this was like.

Téa: What, being pregnant and alone?

John: No. With Natalie, yeah.

Téa: Natalie had a scare when she was pregnant with Liam?

John: First-time parents are scared all the time.

Téa: Really?

John: Yeah, really. The nine months Natalie was carrying Liam were the toughest of my life. You know, I just... I felt so helpless. All I could do was hold her hand.

Téa: Yeah, well, you don't suck at that.

Dr. Gangemi: All done.

Téa: Is my baby okay?

Blanca: Commissioner Buchanan, does your past as former executive producer of "Fraternity Row" preclude your son David from joining the cast?

David: Be gentle, pa. The, uh, fans are a little raw right now.

Bo: And so am I, David. You know, way back when, I won a daisy award on "Fraternity Row." All those many years ago -- it was a long time ago, so, you know what? I don't think that there would be any conflict.

[Cheers and applause]

David: Hold on. Think like an E.P., Pa. [Chuckles nervously] If I showed up on that set, my stardom would set all those fragile egos on edge.

Bo: Really? I think having you there would raise their spirits.

David: Oh, come on, now. What would I even play? A 30-year-old frat boy?

Bo: I think that the show's canvas would benefit from the return of Durwood.

Roxanne: Durwood, Lorraine's lost love.

David: Didn't he die after falling into a corn thresher?

All: They never found the body.

Bo: Maybe he's been in eternity this whole time.

Roxanne: Of course. Bo Buchanan, you are a genius.

Bo: Congratulations on your new job, son.

David: [Groans]

Roxanne: Okay. Let's hear it. David Vickers Buchanan as Durwood on "Fraternity Row."

All: [Chanting] Durwood! Durwood! Durwood! Durwood!

David: No Durwood. No "Fraternity Row." I'm not gonna be able to do it.

Jessica: You know, you're not the only one to blame for how things are between us.

Natalie: That's really good of you to say.

Jessica: It's true. But even how bad things got, I think there's still hope for us. You're not the only one who misses her sister. I just don't think that our relationship is gonna fix itself overnight, but at least we know that we're both open to mending it.

Natalie: I think that maybe we should finish the tree.

Jessica: That sounds good.

[Both laugh] Oh. "Baby's first Christmas -- Liam." That's really cute.

Natalie: Thanks. I had it made.

Jessica: Mm. I remember mom had one of these for my first Christmas for me.

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah. I remember. I smashed it.

Jessica: Who the heck are you?

[Ornament drops, shatters]

Starr: Ooh, you are in trouble!

Natalie: By accident, I swear.

Jessica: I know.

Natalie: [Laughs]

Jessica: [Chuckles] "Ryder's first Christmas."

Natalie: Yeah, I know. I -- I had one made for you, too.

Dr. Gangemi: Your baby's doing just fine. Here -- I'll show you.

Téa: [Sighs]

Dr. Gangemi: See, this right here -- that is the baby's heart beating.

Téa: My baby's heart's beating?

Dr. Gangemi: Yeah. No sign of any abnormalities. Right now, your baby is sucking on its hand. And I would offer up the baby's sex, but it looks like he or she is a little shy at the moment.

John: So the baby's good. The baby's fine. Why was Téa in so much pain?

Dr. Gangemi: Well, as far as I can tell, you had severe cramps.

Téa: Those were cramps?

Dr. Gangemi: It happens. It's usually brought on by stress. Have you experienced anything particularly stressful lately?

Jack: You remember the story, don't you? How I became a part of this family? I'm sure mom does. Fine. If you don't tell Sam, I will.

Todd: No, no. I'll tell him. It's chilly in here. Why don't you go throw another log on the fire since you're so good at starting fires.

Sam: What was Jack talking about?

Todd: Jack is talking about something that I did. I wasn't such a nice guy. I did a lot of really bad things.

Sam: Like what?

Todd: Like I took something from someone and I lied about it.

Sam: Mom says lying is bad.

Todd: She's right.

Sam: Do you still lie?

Todd: Sometimes. But I try not to. Trying really hard to be a good guy.

Sam: You're already a good guy.

David: The last thing I want to do is let anybody down. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to participate in "Fraternity Row" because I have a major press junket for my new film, "the boy with the chipmunk tattoo."

[Applause]

Roxanne: Liar. Would you like to tell everybody the real reason why you don't want to be on "Fraternity Row"?

David: I do want to. I do. I just can't.

Roxanne: No, you can. You just won't because you auditioned for "Fraternity Row" but they turned you down. And the reason they turned you down was because you were too o--

David: Tall. Too tall. They hire short actors on soap operas so they can build smaller sets.

Roxanne: No, the reason why they turned you down, David, was because you are too old.

[Audience groans]

David: There are no old actors, only old parts.

Roxanne: And there are done actors, and that's what you'll be when the fans of "Fraternity Row" are through with you.

Destiny: Mm-hmm. We number in the millions.

Shaun: And we will mobilize to make sure that "the boy with the chipmunk tattoo" opens flat.

Roxanne: Oh, yeah. It's gonna bomb, and is that what you'd like, David Vickers Buchanan? You'd like your name to be box-office poison? You will never work in Hollywood again. We all have internal plumbing.

David: I just realized I have a soap-sized hole in my schedule, and it desperately needs filling!

[Cheers and applause]

Roxanne: So what are you saying, man?

Destiny: Are you actually gonna do it?

David: Yes, Roxy. Yes, destiny. Yes, Shauny. I'm going on "Fraternity Row." I'm gonna be Durwood Beaumont. I'm gonna single-handedly save that show. I may even win a daisy award, to boot.

Blanca: Did you hear that, folks?

[Cheers and applause]

Shaun: You know he's just doing that to save his hide.

Roxanne: Who cares? Okay, I think we should give that news to "Fraternity Row."

Blanca: You know, we've shared the same building with them for years. Their studio is right across the hall.

Roxanne: Seriously? Oh, my goodness. What a coincidence.

David: [Chuckles nervously]

Roxanne: Okay! Let's go, Vickers Buchanan.

Jessica: You know what I think about when I think of our first Christmas?

Natalie: Besides the smashed ornament?

Jessica: Yeah. No. The necklaces that mom gave us -- the ones that she and her sister Meredith used to wear. Yeah.

Natalie: [Laughs]

Jessica: You know, I -- I think the reason that we had a relationship to trash in the first place was because, somewhere along the way, we let each other in. You know, at some point, we let our guard down and we found out that we could surprise each other.

Natalie: We definitely did that.

Jessica: We showed each other that we are capable of more than we thought. Maybe John is, too.

Natalie: Oh, okay. I see where this is going.

Jessica: No. All I'm saying is if you give him a chance to speak for himself, he could surprise you.

Natalie: We're talking about John. It's a miracle if he ever speaks.

Jessica: Well, you know, Christmas is the time --

Natalie: Don't even finish that sentence.

Jessica: I'm just saying. Maybe John has forgiven you, but you'll never find out unless you give him the same chance that you gave me.

Dr. Gangemi: I want to admit you overnight for observation, just to be on the safe side. That way, we can monitor your stress, and something tells me you could use a break. I'll be back in a minute.

Téa: Did you hear that? No stress.

John: I heard. No stress.

Téa: Do you think the good doctor Gangemi has anything that could make me forget... you know? Forget how you think Todd killed my husband, is framing my brother for it, and I can't breathe a word of that to anyone. 'Cause if I didn't have that to stress about, I really wouldn't have much to stress about at all.

John: You know if I could make this all better for you, I would, all right? I promise you one thing. I'm gonna find out how Manning's involved in Victor's murder, and I am gonna find Tomás. But you got to do one thing for me.

Téa: What?

John: You got to take care of yourself, and you got to take care of that baby.

Téa: That's two things, detective. But I will, I promise. Todd already took Victor away from me. He's not gonna take our baby away from me, too.

Blair: Okay, you guys. We need to finish this tree, and then I want to head over to Téa's, okay?

Todd: Why would you go to Téa's?

Blair: Because I think she's having a really hard time right now.

Todd: Well, uh, why? Everything okay?

Blair: I don't know.

Todd: What's going on?

Blair: She seemed a little upset when Dani and I were talking about how Tomás confessed to murdering Victor and you were cleared.

Sam: I found the star for the top of the tree. Who gets to put it on?

Todd: Well, that's up to Starr, right? 'Cause it's her name.

Starr: Well, you named me. Right?

Blair: "For our little girl. Merry Christmas for our little star. Love, mom and dad." [Crying] Oh, Todd. Thank you. You just named our little girl, our little Starr.

Todd: Okay. If I have any say in it at all, I nominate Sam.

Blair: Well, nominate Sam.

Todd: I nominate Sam to put the star on the top of the tree.

Sam: Yay!

Todd: Merry Christmas, kid.

Starr: [Laughs]

Blair: Don't drop him. Sam, Sam -- make a wish. Make it quick.

Sam: I want to make a wish upon the star.

Todd: That sounds like a great idea. What are you gonna wish for?

Sam: I hope for my dad to be happy in heaven.

Jack: I think that wish might just come true, Sam... as long as the guy who puts him there gets to pay.

Roxanne: Hello! Coming through! Big-time movie star on a soap-saving mission. Okay, we got to find the "Fraternity Row" exec and tell him that the show is going to live.

David: Yeah, get his hacks to start writing my daisy award-winning role.

Roxanne: This is weird, man.

David: Yeah, what's with all the sheets?

Roxanne: This is Maude's chair -- the chair that would sit at every day and listen to Lorraine's problems. Oh, better yet! This is the coffee table that Lorraine gave birth to Brandon on. Oh, man. This is the incestual home of the king family -- kingdom.

David: Yeah. This is "Fraternity Row," all right.

Roxanne: So, where is everybody?

Gone home. They shot their last scene a couple of hours ago. Show's over. Do your lashes want volume or length?

[Cell phone rings]

John: McBain.

Natalie: Hey, John. It's -- it's me.

John: Hey. How are you? How's Liam?

Natalie: He's fine. I just -- I was wondering if maybe you had a minute. I want to talk.

John: Yeah, I want to talk to you, too, but -- I need to speak to you for one minute, all right? Listen to me. I'm in the hospital right now. I'm kind of -- I'm mixed up with something, all right? Can I talk to you later?

Natalie: Sure. Sounds great.

Téa: [Chuckles]

Blair: Okay, everybody. Come on. Come on. It's about ready to go. Everybody has to get together -- get together.

Todd: Everybody say "Manning."

Together: Manning!

Blair: Did it go? No!

Jack: I'll check. I mean, I really don't to be in the picture anyway.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Destiny: I sure hope they can get David on the show. Do you think the powers that be will go for it?

Shaun: I didn't even think that Roxy's crazy plan would get us this far. What do you know? Maybe, just maybe there's hope.

Roxanne: It can't be over.

'Fraid so. "Fraternity Row" has closed its doors for good.

Roxanne: They shot the last scene? We're too late?

David: Come on. There will be other shows.

Roxanne: Not like this one. Not like "Fraternity Row"!

David: Roxy? Roxy!

Durwood: Darling. Darling. Darling, wake up.

Roxanne: David? What happened?

Durwood: David? Darling, it is I -- Durwood. Your husband.

Roxanne: Durwood? What are you talking about? Where am I?

Durwood: In kingdom, of course. Your ancestral home. Where else would you be? You are Lorraine king.

Roxanne: Oh, my God. I'm in "Fraternity Row"!

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