OLTL Transcript Friday 8/19/11

One Life to Live Transcript Friday 8/19/11

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Episode # 11005

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By
Gisele

Todd: How's Peanut?

Blair: You mean Hope? Finally got her back to sleep.

Todd: I thought I tired her out.

Blair: Maybe. Maybe you can explain to me why my daughter let a compete stranger watch her daughter.

Todd: Shorty left Hope with me, because Starr believes me. She knows the truth. She knows I'm Todd Manning.

Starr: This man is not our father. He is not Todd Manning.

Téa: But he told us that he was.

Starr: Oh, I'm sorry, Téa, but he was lying to you.

Jack: Yeah, right. If he's not our dad, then who is he?

Starr: Jack, he is-- he's our father's twin brother, our Uncle Victor Lord Jr.

Ford: Hey, sorry. Ryder fell asleep in the car. . We had the most amazing day. I took him swimming, and he loved it. I loved it, too, even with a wet diaper. Wet diaper was on the baby. How was your day?

Jessica: Well, I found out the man that I thought was my Uncle Todd is really my Uncle Victor. My dad is under house arrest. Oh, and Natalie and Brody just happened to leave some apartment listings lying around, as if I didn't get the memo that they're totally crazy in love.

[Loud music playing]

Natalie: Are we in the right place?

Rex: Well, this is the Spotted Pony, Anchorage, Kentucky, so--

Man: All right. Give it up for the purring puma of the pony-- Miss Kitty!

[Cheering]

[Man barks]

Natalie: Are you sure Gigi's spirit wanted you to come here?

Cutter: Aubrey, what are you doing?

Aubrey: Getting the hell away from you.

Blair: You're telling me the man I believed was Todd Manning for the last 8 years is really Victor Lord Jr.?

Todd: Yep. That's right.

Blair: Your twin?

Todd: That's what Irene said. She also told us that she brainwashed Victor into believing he was me, but I don't buy it. Obviously, the guy wanted my life, and can you blame him?

Blair: You told Starr everything you just told me?

Todd: Yeah, and when I told Starr, she didn't have to check up on me. She didn't call Viki or John McBain or anybody else.

Blair: Well, you know what? I need to.

Todd: Starr believed me the minute that I told her. Didn't stop her from running to his side as soon as my evil twin called.

Blair: What did he want?

Todd: Well, I'm hoping that he wanted to do the right thing by her for the first time in his life and apologize to her in person.

Jack: You always wanted the other guy to be Dad just because he has Dad's old face.

Starr: That is not true.

Dani: Ok. Why are you saying that he's not our dad?

Starr: Because I was just with the real Todd Manning, Dani, and he told me what happened at Aunt Viki's, ok? The truth is out.

Victor: Well, I was there. Ok, the truth is...

Starr: What?

Victor: That I am the real Todd, and the other guy is the fake.

Jessica: Sorry that took so long. I just had to check in on my dad to see if he needed anything.

Ford: Mm. So he's really living here? You know, he's not in prison?

Jessica: Well, the judge sentenced him to house confinement, because he's so sick. He couldn't endure prison after the transplant.

Ford: So he gets to live in this mansion with his daughter checking in on him, surrounded by his grandkids like he hasn't done a damn thing wrong?

Jessica: Keep your voice down. You'll wake Ryder.

Ford: Did you know that his hired muscle beat me so badly that I had to check into a hospital? Jessica, he changed Ryder's paternity test so that I wouldn't even know he was mine, not to mention the countless other crimes he's committed, and now he gets to do his time here. There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to start.

Jessica: Well, then fine, why don't you go upstairs and yell at him, and then maybe the heart that Rex sold him will burst right out of his chest. Would that make you feel better?

Ford: Jessica, what am I missing? What's going on?

Man: Next up on the pole at the pony merry-go-round, it's uncanny Annie.

[Cheering]

Rex: I know this isn't exactly Gigi's type of place....

Natalie: Yeah. No kidding.

Rex: But you were there when Delphina communicated with her, ok? She said, "Spotted Pony." I was at Capricorn looking into it--

Natalie: And you saw Gigi there.

Rex: She ran off. I ran off after her. I collided with David Vickers.

Natalie: Who saw your Spotted Pony papers and recognized the name.

Rex: He told me about this place. This has to be it.

Natalie: Doesn't it concern you that our cousin comes all the way to Kentucky to watch strippers?

Rex: Well, according to him, not since he's been married.

Natalie: Ok. So how did he hear about the place?

Rex: Oh, the dancers must be very special.

Natalie: Oh, yeah. Ok. Annie is definitely gifted.

[Cheering]

Rex: It doesn't matter. Colliding with David was not a coincidence, ok? Gigi arranged it from...beyond the grave. She wanted me to come here to the Spotted Pony.

Aubrey: You wanted me to go after Rex Balsom, a guy who lost his fiancée on their wedding day, a guy who is so grief-stricken, it hurts to look at him.

Cutter: Ok. All right. I know this whole Joey thing has got you all backwards and mixed up.

Aubrey: Yeah. You're damn right, it has. You want to tell me I've gone soft, fine. You go ahead and tell me that, but I am through, and now that Joey is with Kelly, I don't really have a reason to be here anymore.

Cutter: Please don't do this, all right? Something happened tonight, something really bad.

Aubrey: What?

Cutter: Doesn't matter. You just can't go.

Aubrey: Watch me.

Cutter: Please don't leave me. Christine.

Natalie: Uh--ew. Rex, seriously, what could Gigi possibly think that you could get here other than a lap dance?

Rex: Well, I don't know, but I have a feeling I'm gonna get to the bottom of it, so to speak.

Man: You're the new girl, right?

Natalie: What?

Man: Yeah. Well, I'm Theo, your new boss. Hey, hurry up and get changed. You're on next.

Natalie: No. Uh, Ohh!

Todd: You believe me?

Blair: John has it all on tape. You're telling the truth.

Todd: Yeah. Heh. Yes. I'm me.

Blair: Oh, my God, you're really him. All this time, I mean--

Todd: You thought that bozo was me. I know.

Blair: I don't even know what to say.

Todd: Neither do I. Yeah. You know I'm Todd Manning, don't you? Don't you?

Téa: Sweetheart, Starr. Starr, sweetheart, sweetheart, what makes you think the other man is telling the truth?

Victor: Wait. The other-- what the hell were you doing with this other man, anyway? Did he-- he got ahold of you, didn't he, when you were alone...

Starr: No.

Victor: He twisted your mind into thinking that he is me.

Starr: He wanted to tell me the news.

Victor: That's what he's done.

Starr: He wanted me to hear it from him, ok? That's why I thought you called me over here, because you wanted to tell me the truth yourself, but you didn't, did you?

Victor: I told you the truth. I told you the truth. What happened was that they proved that I am...the real Todd. Son of a bitch! You know what he did? He has taken advantage of your feelings for me and manipulated you.

Starr: That's not what happened, and you know that!

Victor: It doesn't matter, right? Let's just put this all behind us. Let's go to Hawaii. We're gonna celebrate the fact that I am your father.

Starr: Would you just stop?

Victor: You know, let's have the driver stop by La Boulaie and get Hope and Sam. What do you say, huh?

Starr: Stop. No.

Téa: Oh, my God, Starr.

Starr: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Téa. Todd told me that John and Aunt Viki were there, too. They heard it, and he told me to call them if I didn't believe him.

Téa: Ok.

Dani: What did they say?

Starr: I didn't call. I didn't need to. I believe him. He is my dad, and if you do not believe what I am telling you, then you can call them yourself.

Téa: Ok.

Starr: You could call John. You could call Aunt Viki. Do it.

Téa: Um--

Victor: Don't. Ah ah ah. Don't make that call.

Aubrey: You haven't called me Christine...in a long time.

Cutter: That's your name-- Christine Carr, girl I fell in love with, girl I saw across a crowded room, made my heart skip.

Aubrey: Enough with the clichés.

Cutter: You know, the thing about clichés--it's funny--is that they're true. At least they were until we turned you into Aubrey Wentworth, my sister. Remember what it was like before you were her?

Aubrey: Yeah. I really liked that girl. Wish I'd never said good-bye to her.

Cutter: I loved her. She loved me. Those first couple weeks, it was just Cutter and Christine. I could just forget everything about myself, forget everything.

Aubrey: Yeah. Me, too. Gosh, you made me laugh. We were good. We were fun.

Cutter: And I told you the truth about myself, and I found out the truth about you.

Rex: Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Theo: Hey, watch it, buddy. You can't handle the merchandise.

Rex: She's not merchandise. She's my sister.

Theo: What, you think those girls don't have brothers?

Rex: They don't have me, so please take a hike.

Natalie: I mean, I could've totally handled him, but thanks for rescuing me.

Rex: No problem. Delphina didn't say anything about you ending up on the pole.

Natalie: Thank God. Anyway, she did have a lot to say about the tape that Gigi had on her when she died.

Rex: Did Delphina tell what was on it?

Natalie: No, but she said someone besides Gigi knows what's on the tape.

Rex: Who?

Natalie: My Uncle Todd, which I was about to call him right when you called me to come on this trip.

Rex: Like you'll ever get the truth out of him.

Natalie: I know. Brody told me to let it go, too.

Rex: You're not going to.

Natalie: I can't. Rex, it was important enough for Marty to try to kill me over it, and Todd is the only lead I have, if he even is Todd.

Rex: Well, whenever this Manning mix-up is settled, you need to find out what he knows.

Natalie: So you don't think I should let it go?

Rex: Hell, no.

Blair: That's Jack's grade school graduation. Look at him in that suit.

Todd: Aww.

Blair: He did not want to wear that.

Todd: Yeah. What's with the trophy?

Blair: He was class clown. He definitely has your personality.

Todd: When I left, he could barely spit out a knock-knock joke. He still believed in Santa.

Blair: Yeah. Well, don't get me started on Santa. Sam, poor thing, Jack tortured him this past Christmas about Santa. That beautiful? That's Starr in her first prom. You should've seen her. Isn't she gorgeous?

Todd: Yeah. I should have. I would have... if anybody had noticed I was missing.

Victor: You don't need to call anyone. You know me. You don't have to ask anyone who I am, right? You married me. Ha ha ha!

Téa: Ha ha!

Victor: I'm the man you love. Put the phone down.

Téa: Um, I'm sorry, but I need to know the truth, all right? Ok? We all do, and I trust that Viki will tell me what I need to know.

Victor: You don't trust me?

Blair: Look. I-- I didn't mean to upset you.

Todd: Hey, come on. What do I have to be upset about?

Blair: Look at this. This is... Starr's graduation. Yeah.

Todd: Our little girl is all grown up.

Blair: Mm-hmm.

Todd: Oh, here she is with my brother.

Blair: Well, actually, that was her 16th birthday, and I was-- it was terrible. I was helping Todd-- Victor with some kind of crisis for Sam. We completely forgot her birthday. That was us making it up to her.

Todd: Yeah. Oh...my little girl...has a little girl.

Blair: Mm-hmm.

Todd: She's beautiful. I don't know whether you've given any thought to this, Blair, but you realize that makes us grandparents.

Blair: Oh, yeah. That one, that's kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around that, too. Yeah.

Todd: Should've been here for this.

Blair: Yeah. I know. Starr's pregnancy, that was crazy.

Todd: No. I should've been here for all of this. I wasn't here. He was. There he is. There he is again and again and again and again. There he is. Oh, look. There he is. There he is with my daughter. There he is with all of my kids. I lost 8 years with my kids because of that bastard! Damn him! Damn him.

Ford: So all that craziness with your uncles, is that really what's bothering you?

Jessica: I just find out for the past 8 years, the person I thought was my Uncle Todd was really his twin brother that none of us knew existed, and I didn't know. Todd and I always had this special connection, or at least I thought we did.

Ford: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Starr and her mom didn't notice, either. They got to be at least as close to him as you are.

Jessica: Maybe, and don't get me wrong. I'm really happy that my real Uncle Todd is back, but between him showing up and my dad serving his prison sentence here, it's all crazy. The only good thing I can say about this day is, Brody and Natalie aren't around.

Ford: So it's those apartment listings that got you in this mood.

Jessica: Not like I didn't see it coming, but yeah.

Ford: Well, why are you letting them get to you? You broke up with Brody.

Jessica: Because I found him in bed with my sister.

Ford: Ok. So what does that mean? Are you still in love with him?

Rex: Whatever you do, do not let Manning off the hook, ok? You know how I feel about him. Nobody hates Todd or Jack more than I do.

Natalie: What they did to Gigi was horrible.

Rex: Yeah, and she's the most important thing right now, following this trail or whatever it is, but it doesn't mean I just stop thinking about those two, either. I will never forget what they did to Gigi, ok, not by a long shot.

Natalie: Rex, what does that mean? Are you thinking about doing something to get back at them?

Rex: The point is, if Todd knows something, you should go for it.

Natalie: Thanks. Brody wanted me to forget about the tape and just move on, and I was starting to think I was nuts for keeping at it.

Rex: No. Nuts is seeing your dead fiancée and following a trail down to a strip club in Anchorage, Kentucky, but I can't let this go, either.

Natalie: Yeah. Well, I guess it's in our Buchanan blood. Can't give up.

Rex: Whatever it is, I am glad that you dragged Delphina to see me, and I'm glad that you came all the way down here with me.

Natalie: I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm your sister.

Man: Well, if you're his sister, honey, then you won't mind if I invite him to the champagne room for a private dance.

Natalie: Uh, no.

Rex: Wait. No. What if this is happening for a reason? What if Gigi is sending me a sign through-- what's your name?

Woman: Colleen with two E's.

Rex: What if Gigi is sending me a sign through Colleen with two E's? What if she's telling me I should go to the champagne room?

Todd: Victor got to be their father for all the graduations and the proms and the birthday celebrations and everything else. Victor got to be there for my little boy when he turned from this kid who would tell jokes into this surly teenager who hates my guts. Victor got to be there for the good times and the bad times, because Victor was playing at being the father to my children, my children--

Blair: Todd--

Todd: Stop--and you-- you let him do it. You opened up the door to a stranger, and you gave him our children. How could you do that? How could you not have known?

Dani: Mom... what did Aunt Viki say?

Jack: What do you think she said? Obviously, Starr got it wrong.

Téa: No. Viki said that what Starr told us is true, that this man is your uncle, not your father.

Todd: I was shipwrecked, and I paddled home to you on a homemade raft. I almost died of storms and fever and hunger and thirst, and I did it because I wanted to be with you. I wanted to get back to you. I fought to be with you, Blair. I never stopped trying to get to you, and you should never have stopped trying to get back to me.

Dani: You've been lying to us? What, did you think that we wouldn't find out what you were trying to do? Yeah. Let's go to Hawaii, yeah, so you could keep us there forever so that we'd never know. How could you? How could you do this? Who are you? What kind of person lies to their-- how could you lie to us about who you were for all these years, huh?

Téa: Listen to me. Your uncle, he had no idea that he wasn't Todd, ok? Ok? Listen.

Dani: What?

Téa: Listen to me. Listen to me. Sweetheart, come here. He was brainwashed, ok? He was brainwashed. He had everything about Todd drilled into his head until he believed he was Todd. Being Todd Manning is all he knows.

Jack: Why would anyone do that?

Téa: The reasons are complicated, ok? All we need to know right now is that this happened and it was not his fault. It's not your fault that you thought you were someone else.

Victor: Back me up here, though, Téa. Everyone is saying to me that I'm not me, that I'm not Todd, but that's a lie, right?

Téa: No. It isn't.

Victor: I wish it was. I wish I was Todd Manning.

Jack: So you admit it?

Blair: Look. We weren't even--

Todd: No. You didn't want to find me.

Blair: What? I did.

Todd: No. You didn't want to find me. You were just waiting for some jerk to waltz into your life claiming to be me. You gave my children to him. You gave yourself to him. You slept with him. You still thought that he was me? Blair, the whole time that I was in jail, the whole time that I was locked up, the only thing that kept me alive was thinking about the people that I love, the people that missed me, and the whole time that I was doing that, you were cozying up to some guy who just decided to be me, and you accepted him blindly.

Blair: No. Nobody did anything blindly, Todd.

Todd: That jerk took everything from me. He took my life, and there is anyone to blame for the 8 years that are missing from my life, it is you. I blame you.

Theo: Put your hands together for the pony's own Irish lass, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow--the one and only Colleen.

[Cheering]

[Man barks]

Natalie: Well, it looks like Gigi sent Theo to rescue you from Colleen with two E's.

Rex: You're probably right. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to find here.

Natalie: Hey!

Rex: What happened?

Natalie: This jerk just grabbed my ass.

Cutter: The truth was, I'd been grifting since I was a kid and I was up to my neck in a scam.

Aubrey: And I was up to my neck in debt. Those collection agencies were all over me, and when you told me you needed me to pose as your sister, I saw a way out. Stupidest mistake I ever made. It was supposed to be one time.

Cutter: I know.

Aubrey: I figured we'd grab some cash, I'd pay off my debt, and we'd have enough left over to start over somewhere else. That's what you promised me.

Cutter: I know, but we worked so well together, and that money from that first job just didn't last very long.

Aubrey: You're always better at spending the money than holding on to it.

Cutter: I saw the way that your eyes lit up when we would buy expensive stuff, and I just wanted them to light up like that all the time. I wanted you to have all the things you didn't have growing up. So I told you that it'd be good if you did another job, and I convinced you to do another one and another one. I never thought you'd fall for a mark. How stupid was I?

Blair: You still have your children, your children. You already got Starr back.

Todd: Jack hates my guts.

Blair: Oh, God, Jack hates everybody right now, but he will come around. I know that he will. Listen, and you're gonna get to know Dani, and you're gonna a get your whole family back.

Todd: You don't know that. You don't know what's gonna happen.

Blair: Todd, just give it a chance.

Todd: Even if it does happen, how does that make up for 8 years missing from my life? How do I get the memories back that that bastard stole from me? You know what? To hell with you. To hell with all of you.

Blair: Wait. Where are you going?

Todd: To find my long-lost brother, and I'm gonna kill him.

Jack: Dad, I don't care what McPain or Aunt Viki say. Scarface is not my dad, and he never will be. You're my father, and nothing will ever change that.

Victor: Thanks. Dani... I know you really never wanted to accept me as your dad in the first place, I guess. You don't have to now.

Dani: You're right. I did have a hard time accepting you as my father. You know, when Mom got sick, when we thought she was dead, we went through so much together, and nothing can change that or take that away. Those feelings were real. We were a real father and daughter. We share the same blood. Even though you're not... technically my father... I'm still your daughter.

Victor: Starr, honey... what about you? Are you done with me?

Blair: Wait a minute. Just wait a minute. Come on. You can't blame Victor in this. I mean, he's as much a victim as you are.

Todd: Oh, stop it. Come on. You don't really believe that, do you?

Blair: John said that Irene programmed him to believe that he was you.

Todd: Oh, poor Victor. I was beaten, starved, and tortured for 8 years. I never forgot who I was. Victor wants to be me. He wanted my money. He wanted my kids. He wanted you. He got it all.

Blair: Yeah. He got it all, and now that he knows that he's not you, he's gonna have to give it all back.

Todd: But it was never his to begin with.

Blair: Oh, come on. He's a father. Little Sam, he needs his daddy.

Todd: My little kid needed me. You need to get out of the way, Blair.

Blair: All right. Fine. You want to kill your brother? Really? I'll help you. Go ahead, Todd. You can be the man that you were when you left town so many years ago, yep, but if you're gonna do it, do it the right way.

Natalie: I'm sorry, Rex, but since I've gotten here, I've been mistaken for a stripper, insulted by a stripper, and fondled by someone who thinks I'm a stripper. So since I seriously doubt you're going to find anything on Gigi here, I'm just gonna go. I got to call Brody, check on Liam again.

Rex: All right. Go ahead. Go back to the hotel. I'm just gonna have one drink, and if nothing happens by then, then I'll call this a bust.

Natalie: So to speak.

Rex: We can go back to Llanview.

Natalie: I hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck.

Rex: Hope you do, too.

Jessica: It just bothers me to see Natalie and Brody together. I mean, she had a baby with my fiancée. She had the life that I was supposed to have, and every time I see them together, it just reminds me of what I lost.

Ford: Sorry.

Jessica: No. I can hardly wait for them to move out of here into some little love nest. I can't stand the sight of those two jerks together.

Ford: You're starting to sound a lot like Tess.

Jessica: What? How insensitive can you be? I get mad, and you say I sound like Tess?

Ford: I can't help it--I miss her--kind of like you can't help that Natalie and Brody bother you, right? Every time I see you, I think of Tess, and you don't usually act like her, but tonight I know you're not Tess, but she's there in your eyes.

Cutter: Joey was gonna be the last one. I really meant it this time.

Aubrey: Yeah. Sure, you did. I'm sure you did. Well, he was the last one--for me, at least--because I'm through.

Cutter: I'm the reason you fell for him. I'm sorry. It's my fault. I messed everything up. I messed it all up. I'm sorry.

Aubrey: I'm sorry, too. Good-bye, Cutter.

Cutter: Where are you going? Where are you gonna go? You don't even have any money.

Aubrey: I'm pretty resourceful. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Cutter: I know you are. Please, please just stay till morning.

Starr: Uh, um--

Victor: No. That's ok. I know you probably don't really know how you feel about me now. I know how I feel about you, though. I feel like... I feel like you're my daughter. You've always been that for me.

Starr: I know it may have seemed--

Victor: Look. I know that a lot of this, they drilled into me. It wasn't just memories, though. It was a need to protect you, and everything that I did for you was because I love you. I don't know how that kind of thing can't be real.

Starr: You're not my father.

Victor: No.

Starr: I don't know how that's not real, but I'll always love you.

Todd: You're giving me a gun.

Blair: Sure. Why not? You've already lost 8 years of your life. Why don't you just throw away the rest of it?

Todd: I can't tell. Are you serious?

Blair: I am dead serious. You go out and you kill Victor, just you go back to prison. Saves a lot of people a lot of problems here, you know? Jack and Starr, they can just, you know, forget that you even came back to town, and Dani, she doesn't have to be forced to get to know her dad, and they could all rally around Victor, you know, for comfort, and then as an added bonus, we have Hope. She won't get to know her grandfather. Is that what you want? Sound good to you?

Victor: I'm never gonna stop feeling like your father, and I want to hold on to you guys forever... but I think right now I should talk to Téa, ok? Do you mind?

Starr: No.

Blair: You know I know you better than anyone. You said that when you first came back to town, which means I know that you're your own worst enemy.

Todd: I have a right to be angry about this.

Blair: Of course, you do have a right, but killing Victor and throwing away the life that you just got back, do you really want to do that? Isn't there a better way to handle this? I mean, come on. You don't really want this gun, do you?

Todd: Hell, yeah, I do. Uh oh!!

Jessica: I tell you that I'm upset over Natalie and my ex-fiancée, and you get all goo-goo-eyed over Tess?

Ford: I wasn't--

Jessica: She's not a real person. Get that through your thick skull, ok? She's a one-dimensional, oversexed, soulless creature. You're pathetic.

Ford: I'm pathetic? At least I'm honest about my feelings. Tess really had your number. You're nothing but a spoiled princess who's moping around her castle taking potshots at Brody and Natalie instead of just admitting that you're in love with your ex.

Jessica: That's it! I know we called a truce over Ryder, but you are just taking advantage of that the same way you took advantage of Tess, and the last thing I need is some man who sleeps with anything that moves lecturing me on my feelings. Get out.

Theo: And now for the main event, the one you've all been waiting for--that's right--the hottest dancer from here to eternity--Gigi!

[Cheering]

Aubrey: I'm not unpacking. I'm just getting what I need for tonight till I figure out what to do.

Cutter: Thanks for not walking out.

Aubrey: Cutter, I'm not staying because I want to be with you. I just don't have anywhere else to go.

Cutter: Right. You know, it's funny. Of all the people that we've scammed and all the cons we've run, that we end up in the exact opposite kind of room that I always wanted to give you.

Todd: Give me the gun.

Blair: What are you do-- you are an idiot.

Todd: You just said I could have the gun.

Blair: Are you crazy? You think I was really gonna give it to you? I know what I offered, but I'm not gonna let you go shoot Victor, and if you want to go throw away your life, you go do it, but I'm not gonna help you, good Lord, and I'm certainly not gonna be around to pick up the pieces. You're on your own.

Victor: They looked at me like I was a freak, huh?

Téa: Once Starr and Dani got over the shock, they came around, and Jack never wavered.

Victor: No.

Téa: You thought they would stop loving you once they found out that they weren't yours, but they still love you.

Victor: And what about you?

Jack: What the hell do you think you're doing?

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