OLTL Transcript Thursday 7/28/11

One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 7/28/11

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Episode # 10989

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Ebele

Blanca: Good evening, everyone. This is Blanca Morales coming to you from the Palace ballroom. We're here for the world premiere of the sensational new movie, "Vicker Man: The David Vickers Buchanan story." It's just an hour till showtime, and the star-studded crowd is beginning to arrive. Here they are, the star of "Vicker Man," David Vickers Buchanan and his lovely wife, the producer and mayor of Llanview, Dorian Cramer Lord Vickers Buchanan.

[Applause]

Starr: Mom, where are you? We're gonna be late for aunt Dorian's movie pre--

Blair: I know, I know, and I'm right here. Listen, I had to drop off Sam at his play date. It'll take me 2 seconds to get dressed. And speaking of, turn around. Oh, you look so beautiful! Wait till James catches you in that.

Starr: Thank you, but James isn't coming tonight. He has work.

Blair: Really? You know what, good. You can hang out with Tomás' son. He doesn't have a date either.

Starr: Baz is coming?

Blair: I'll be ready in 5--

Starr: Mom, that's not--

Blair: 5 seconds. Start counting.

[Doorbell rings]

Starr: Ah! Look, it's the famous movie director!

Markko: Come here. Hi.

Ford: Hey. What are you doing here?

Nate: Dani invited me. This is pretty cool, right?

Ford: Well, it's not exactly Cannes, but it looks like they're sparing no expense.

Nate: That's good for you, right? Make a little extra?

Ford: Well, I just figured I'd be at my own premiere right now instead of working somebody else's as a cater waiter. But hey, I got some good footage of Ryder the other day.

Nate: That's awesome.

Ford: Yeah. You look good all decked out.

Nate: Gotta impress the girl.

Ford: I hear you.

Nate: This could be a big night for us.

Dani: Mom! I'm so glad you're here.

Téa: I just got my hair did. You like it?

Dani: Oh, yeah? Looks good. Looks good.

Téa: It looks like you did some shopping, girl.

Dani: Yeah. Hi. I'm taking Nate to the premiere tonight and I had no idea what to wear. I just grabbed everything that kind of halfway worked. You have to help me pick something.

Téa: So you and Nate are ok?

Dani: Yeah, and I want everything to be perfect.

Téa: I'm so glad, Dani.

Dani: So, you and Dad?

Téa: Um...we're all right. We agreed to disagree.

Dani: Again?

Téa: Progress, mijita, not perfection.

Tomás: I need to speak to you about Todd Manning.

Old Todd: [In gruff voice] This is John McBain. What about Todd Manning?

Tomás: Not on the phone. Let's meet.

Old Todd: No, uh, Delgado. Spit it out.

Tomás: Ok. This goes back to when I was with CIA. I know you know about that. Téa said she told you. Truth is, I got in over my head. There's some things about Manning you don't know.

Old Todd: What kind of things?

Todd: What are you doing in my office?

John: Does there have to be a reason? I just missed you. And I wanted to follow up on the attack on your son. Jack says he was knocked out in this office.

[Turns on TV]

David: Tonight's a dream come true, isn't it, baby?

Dorian: Blanca, our life is a dream come true.

Rex: It would have been a nightmare if you hadn't dropped the charges against my mother. You'd have been in a cell, Dorian. Cousin David would have been all alone, like me.

Ford: James told me that you helped Deanna get that information on her mother?

Nate: Yeah, she went to California to find her.

Ford: I heard that lawyer of hers wanted 20 grand. How'd you swing that?

Nate: We worked it out.

David: I just wish my pa and Step-Nora were here.

Dorian: They're here in spirit.

David: They're in Philadelphia with my little bro. You feel better, Matthew. Oh, look. There's Harrison. Harrison! Harrison played my pa in the film. We should probably go over and say hi. He's gonna want to talk to me.

Mrs. Patel: Vimal, look at you. We're so proud of you. You're a success.

Mr. Patel: You know your mother. She loves the movies.

Mrs. Patel: I love you more. I knew you would make it big in America. I wish Rama was here with us.

Mr. Patel: No, it's too much excitement for a pregnant lady.

Vimal: She's taking care of Aubrey.

Mrs. Patel: I just hope she doesn't catch a cold.

Blanca: David, you know I have to ask. Those rumors about you and your co-star Ionia Masters. Ionia played Dorian in the film, and according to the "Sun," the romance spilled off-screen.

David: I did not have sex with that woman.

Dorian: Next question.

Blanca: All right, mayor, who are you wearing?

Dorian: Oh, thank you so much for asking, Blanca. I am wearing Gammie, yes, exclusively designed for me, one of a kind.

Blanca: Are you sure about that?

Dorian: David, she's wearing my Gammie.

David: I wouldn't worry about it. It's wearing her.

Dorian: That bitch tried to destroy my marriage. I am not gonna let her destroy my opening.

David: I'll protect your opening.

Todd: I'm not doing your job for you. You figure it out.

John: That's why I'm here.

Todd: Where are you going now?

John: Oh, I got what I needed. Thanks, Jack.

Jack: What was that about?

Todd: It's just John making sure everyone knows he's on the case.

Jack: What case?

Todd: You told him you were attacked, idiot!

Jack: Oh, right. I thought maybe it was about--

Todd: No, the Gigi Morasco thing is over. Your friend Brad took care of it.

Jack: So was this about the origami cogs?

Todd: No, we don't have to worry about them anymore. That whole thing's dead and buried.

Old Todd: [In gruff voice] Uh...I'm not gonna worry about Todd Manning. I know all about that guy. Boy, he's a menace.

Tomás: True. What I have to tell you is privileged information.

Dani: Hi, Baz!

Tomás: Let's do this later.

Old Todd: No, wait. What were you gonna say?

Tomás: I'll be at the premiere at the Palace tonight. I'll see you there and tell you what I know.

[Click]

Starr: Come on in! I'm so glad that you are here, but I'm so bummed that Langston couldn't make it.

Markko: I know. She really wanted to be here, but she's working on that other project and they wanted her on location.

Starr: I know. You guys are both doing so great.

Markko: Her script for "Vicker Man" was perfection. And once in a while, the actors even said her lines.

Starr: So your collaboration has been a real success?

Markko: It's been going well. We're learning to trust each other again.

Starr: You know that whole thing with Ford had nothing to do with you.

Markko: I know, I know. It was just...hard.

Starr: Yeah, yeah.

Markko: But what about you and James? How's that going?

Starr: Oh, it's great. I'm sorry you guys won't be able to see each other tonight. He actually has work.

Markko: So who's this Baz guy?

Téa: Were you just eavesdropping on your father's conversation?

Baz: How else am I supposed to find out who my father really is?

Starr: How did you hear about Baz?

Markko: From Langston. She says you talk about him all the time.

Starr: Well, yeah. We've been working together, and it has been great. We're recording with me on vocals. Who knew?

Markko: Me and Langston. Starr, you were so good in her musical.

Starr: I was ok.

Markko: And how's Cole? Have you seen him?

Starr: Yeah, actually, I bring Hope to see him once a week and we talk. It's hard, but he's ok. The prison actually has a college program, so he signed up for psych.

Markko: Yeah, I know. He wrote. Are you sure there's nothing with this Baz guy, because Langston said--

Starr: Markko, will you cut it out? Langston's job is to write drama, ok?

Markko: All right.

Starr: If we keep talking about this, you're going to miss your own movie premiere. Now, get out.

Markko: Bye.

Starr: I'll see you there.

Photographer: Over here! Ionia! Where's that famous smile?

Dorian: That bitch is wearing my dress. I'm gonna rip it off her bony back and kick her ass to the curb.

David: All right.

Blanca: Irv, are you getting this?

Dorian: How dare you show up in my dress at my opening?

Ionia: Excuse me, I am the star of this film.

Dorian: Blanca, this woman is a liar and a cheat. She has conspired with a certain Echo DiSavoy to have me kidnapped. And believe me, Blanca, if there were any justice in the world, she would be arrested and thrown in jail.

Rex: That's the problem. There is no justice.

Shane: Dad?

Rex: Hey, Shane. Is that a new comic? Can I see?

Shane: No!

Rex: Why not?

Shane: 'Cause it's stupid. It's not real.

Rex: That's the point of superheroes. They can do all the stuff that ordinary people can't.

Todd: What's going on with you?

Jack: I know you said the thing with Shane's mom is over.

Todd: Yes, it's over.

Jack: But it's not over. McBain knows it was me. That's why he was here. He's out to get me.

Mrs. Patel: Everyone is so glamorous.

Vimal: It's a very exclusive event. It wasn't easy getting tickets.

Mr. Patel: My son has connections.

Mrs. Patel: Mwah! Love you.

Vimal: Most people aren't so fortunate. Aubrey and Cutter got turned away at the door.

Mrs. Patel: Aubrey? Aubrey Wentworth? I thought she was ill.

Mr. Patel: Yes, you told us that Rama was taking care of her.

Vimal: Um--

Mrs. Patel: Vimal, where is your wife?

Vimal: Mumby, jumby, I have a confession to make. Rama is not--

Rama: Going to miss our baby's first movie premiere for anything in the world.

Mrs. Patel: Rama, I'm so happy to see you.

Mr. Patel: Yes, Vimal said you were tending to your sick friend.

Rama: Oh, Aubrey. Thankfully, she recovered.

Mrs. Patel: May I?

Rama: Yes--

Vimal: No!

Rama: Of course, go ahead.

Mrs. Patel: It's a boy. I just know it.

Mr. Patel: It's healthy. That much I know. We need to celebrate.

Mrs. Patel: Yes, more champagne and sparkling water for you. Sorry.

Vimal: Rama, what is this?

Rama: Lucky for you, Cristian Vega got me pregnant.

Dorian: After everything we did for that woman. We rescued her from obscurity. Blanca, dear, instead of showing us gratitude, what did she do? She played the most toxic mind games.

David: That woman took off her bikini top.

Dorian: More importantly, that woman had me kidnapped and I could have been killed.

Ionia: Clearly, Mrs. Cramer Lord Vickers Buchanan is forgetting that she dropped all charges against me.

Dorian: Not because you weren't guilty. Now, get out of here now.

Ionia: I am not going anywhere. I am "Vicker Man."

David: No, you're not. I am "Vicker Man."

Ionia: Well, in name only. I run away with his film.

Dorian: Ha ha. All your best parts are gonna be on the cutting room floor if you don't run away right now. Out!

Starr: Mom! We are going to miss all of the fun! Baz and Tomás are gonna be here any minute now.

Blair: I am ready, thank you.

Starr: Oh! Wow! You look beautiful!

Blair: So do you, sweet pea.

Starr: Let me see. Are those the earrings that Dad got you?

Starr: Uh-huh. Aren't they beautiful? He gave them to me right before we got married. I love them, but I'm not wearing them for your father. I'm wearing them for Tomás, because he painted me in these and that's when he said that he fell for me. Well, he said that, anyway.

Starr: So things have been better for the two of you?

Blair: Yeah. He's finally opening up to me about his past, which means maybe we can have a future.

Tomás: Baz, you were eavesdropping on my conversation?

Baz: Oh, you didn't know? It's pretty lame for a CIA agent.

Dani: What?

Baz: He's a spy.

Tomás: I'm not a spy.

Téa: Tomás, you need to come clean. Blair and I already know. You need to tell them.

Tomás: Fine. I was in the city for several years. It was a difficult, dangerous time. It still is, which is why the less said, the better.

Baz: That's it? What about Todd? Did you shoot him?

Téa: No, in fact, your father was trying to stop whoever shot him, and in the process he got wounded.

Dani: That's why you were so weird after the shooting.

Tomás: I couldn't say anything. I still can't. And the two of you are not to repeat this to anyone.

Baz: If you didn't shoot him, who did and why?

Tomás: This conversation is over.

Baz: What?

Tomás: We have a premiere to attend tonight. You know what? You're not dressed.

Todd: Listen, Jack, I know that you're upset about what happened to Shane's--

Jack: I'm what happened to her. McBain knows it.

Todd: But thanks to me, he can't touch you. What do you want?

Jack: For it not to have happened!

Todd: Yeah, well, it did. So now you just have to move on.

Rex: So Seamus, the kid with the limp...his mother gets trapped in a cave where she's almost killed by poison fumes from a deadly stalactite.

Shane: It was supposed to be Seamus, but it was his mom instead.

Rex: Then Seamus turns out to be the hero, and he blasts through the cave and rescues his mother.

Shane: Then he's supposed to blast the bad guys through the mouth of a volcano and leave them there to boil in a pit of lava, but what's the point! Bad guys never have to pay, not in real life! They just get away with it.

Rex: Not this time, Shane. I swear to you.

Jack: It's not that easy, Dad. You can't just decide to feel better when you don't.

Todd: Yeah, I know. But you can't let it take over your life, either. Look at me. I've made a ton of mistakes, but I gotta live with them. You're gonna have to, too. You don't have a choice. All right. I'm gonna go see this lousy movie.

Jack: What if McBain's there?

Todd: We'll make fun of his haircut.

John: Hey.

Old Todd: Hey. Don't cook a lot, do you?

John: I didn't even know I had that.

Old Todd: Had better food at the prison.

John: Yeah, well, get used to it. I got the DNA sample from Manning. I'm gonna run it over to the lab, put a rush on it.

Old Todd: That's a good idea. You can do that on the way to the party.

John: What party?

Old Todd: The party that you're gonna go to.

John: I never said I was going to a party.

Old Todd: Yeah, well, you kind of did. I answered your phone when you were gone.

John: What did I tell you, huh? Didn't I tell you not to touch the phone? Are you out of your mind?

Old Todd: No, but let me tell you something. The blonde with the whiskey voice? Natalie's mom? Whoo! She is--let me tell you. She came in here with a stack of towels, right? So I took that towel and I threw it over my head and I pretended to be you and it worked great. So that gave me an idea. When the telephone rang and it was Delgado and he was talking about Todd Manning, I kind of pretended to be you [in gruff voice] You know what I mean? What?

John: What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Tomás: Oh, boy. You look beautiful.

Blair: You look hot.

Tomás: Hmm...

Baz: My father just gave me an earful about his past.

Starr: Did you get any clue on our dad's weird connection?

Baz: No. Just a lot more questions.

Starr: We're not gonna learn anything by standing here. Let's go. Um, no, thank you.

Baz: Look, I'm not gonna try and kiss you. I'm just trying to be a gentleman, you know, offer you my arm.

Starr: Hmm. I've got two of my own. Thank you.

Dorian: If you are any good in this movie at all, it's because of the character that you play.

Ionia: Dorian Lord? She's a cipher. A real housewife of Llanview, pa, whose only claim to fame is that I play her in a movie of her husband's life.

Dorian: You are a cheap impersonator, who has gotten by on loose morals, yes, and good lighting.

Ionia: How dare you?

Dorian: I'm Dorian Lord. You're not! Ha! Live with it, baby! And get out!

Ionia: I'm not going anywhere.

David: Markko! Get over here! Ionia needs help to a cab.

Blanca: Markko Rivera, "Vicker Man’s dreamy director.

Ionia: Markko, don't you want to walk your star down the aisle? You're the director, after all.

Dorian: And I'm the executive producer. I say get out!

Ionia: I'm calling S.A.G. Fine! I'll call AFTRA!

Dorian: Call 'em. Lot of good that'll do.

Blanca: I promised you fireworks, and Blanca Morales always delivers. Stay with us. The premiere of "Vicker Man" is moments away. You won't want to miss it.

Vimal: Cristian Vega got you this pregnant since yesterday?

Rama: Yeah. Cristian's a very creative person. Listen, he created this baby out of a water balloon. See? Touch it.

Vimal: Rama, how could you do this? You told me "no more lies."

Rama: Yeah? Then why haven't you told your mother the truth? I was working at foxy Roxy's and--

Vimal: You were working?

Rama: Yeah. I need to eat, too, you know. I have no one to care for me anymore. Anyway, I was working at foxy Roxy's, and your mom came into the beauty shop and I overheard her talking about her unborn grandchild. And I knew you hadn't been able to tell your parents the truth. So I asked Cristian to help create this baby.

Vimal: You did this for me?

Rick: Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me. Hey, baby.

Blanca: Do I know you?

Rick: Rick Powers, filmmaker, auteur, perhaps you're familiar with my oeuvre?

Blanca: Afraid not.

Rick: Oh, you will be. Very soon.

Ford: Hey. Hey, Nate. Isn't that that porno guy? Hey, hey. What's wrong?

Blanca: And look who just arrived. Two of the many beautiful women in Todd Manning's life. How could one guy get so lucky?

Rex: Jack Manning got away with murder because his father is rich and powerful, but now we are, too. I've set up a company in your mother's name. I'm using it to go after them. I'm gonna bankrupt them, Shane, ok? I promise you.

Shane: So they'll be poor. So what? Mom will still be dead.

John: Understand this. You have a bull's-eye on your head. You could have got everybody in this building killed.

Old Todd: I was just trying to help. Delgado said he had some information.

John: What exactly did he say?

Old Todd: Oh. Well, look who's interested now.

John: Yeah, I'm interested.

Old Todd: Ok. Delgado said that you could meet him at the Palace 'cause there's a movie premiere tonight and he'd explain everything then. So you better get going. And you gotta change. It's black tie. You're not gonna wear the tux?

John: No, I'm not gonna wear the tux. Ask me that again, I'm throwing you in the hole.

Old Todd: I'm just trying to help. Come on. Really. Think about it. Look, you, too, can be a cater waiter. Fine. I'm just trying to help. If you don't care about your image, not my fault.

John: I'm posting a cop outside the door, somebody I trust. Don't even think about leaving.

Old Todd: Wait. What am I supposed to do here?

John: Channel surf.

[Turns on TV]

Blanca: So are you movie fans?

Téa: Oh, he is a huge film buff. This is a special night for us, kind of a private celebration.

Old Todd: Come on, Delgado. He's a fake. What happened to that great big brain you had?

Blanca: And this is the beautiful Danielle. There's a story floating around that you were conceived on a desert island?

Dani: I'd rather not think too much about my own conception.

Old Todd: A woman after my own heart.

Blanca: One last question for your handsome son Jack.

Old Todd: My son.

Blanca: ...I understand that you were arrested in connection--

Old Todd: He's my son.

Todd: The charges were dropped. The Police decided to drop the charges when they realized Jack had nothing to do with it. He's innocent. I know the boy's confessed. The good news is, Blanca, that he's going into the family business--actually, your business--journalism, and we're all very proud of him.

Rex: Shane's right. It's not enough to take their money.

Dani: Well, we're gonna go find some seats.

Todd: Make sure they're either on the aisle or in the back so we can bolt if it stinks.

Téa: It might be entertaining. You never know.

Dani: Come on.

Téa: Hey. You survived the red carpet.

Todd: To have to watch this lousy movie.

Téa: You might enjoy it, Todd.

Todd: I'm enjoying being with you, now that you're talking to me.

Téa: You better behave yourself, 'cause I can always reinstate the cold shoulder.

Todd: No, don't. I'll keep it warm.

Starr: Hello!

Téa: Oh, hey, look who's here.

Starr: Dad!

Blair: Isn't this fun?

Todd: Like a root canal.

Téa: Ever the film buff. Everyone looks gorgeous. Beautiful dress.

Blair: Right back at you, Téa.

Téa: Those earrings are exquisite. Who gave you those?

Blair: Recognize them, Todd?

Todd: Your earrings? No. Why would I recognize your earrings?

Starr: Give it up, Mom. Even if he did remember, it's not like he would admit it.

Blair: True that.

Dorian: So did Ionia take off on her broomstick?

Markko: We put the broomstick in the trunk of the cab.

David: She's gone, baby. You ok?

Dorian: I'm thrilled, 'cause I am now in the company of the two most talented men in Llanview.

Starr: Look at the movie stars.

David: I always liked this girl.

Dorian: Love the beard. Couldn't you talk Langston into coming with you, though?

Starr: It's your fault, aunt Dorian. You're the one that turned her into a hot commodity.

Dorian: I did, didn't I?

David: Oh, she'll be at the Oscars. Speaking of Oscars... Markko, the producer insisted on some changes.

Dorian: Executive producer?

David: Executive producer.

Markko: You mean Dorian-- no, no, I had final cut.

David: Don't worry about it. They're tiny.

Dorian: And you'll thank me for them. Promise you. Bye-bye. Come, darling.

Markko: I'm gonna be sick.

Baz: I've been there. I worked with someone on this track once, put his girlfriend in on the vocals after I finished the mix. I had to start all over.

Starr: Baz, this is my friend Markko. Markko, this is Baz.

Baz: I'm gonna get us some sodas.

Markko: So that's the infamous Baz.

Starr: And I told you. See? It's all about the work.

Markko: Then why does he keep looking at you like that?

Dani: Hi, guys! Have you seen Nate anywhere?

Nate: What are you doing here?

Rick: Hey, stud. How's my latest discovery?

Nate: Shut up. This whole thing was supposed to be on the deal. I held up my end of the bargain.

Rick: You sure did. Gonzo marketing, baby. Just yoyo wait. What did you think of the rough cut?

Ford: What rough cut?

Rick: Is that Mel? Do you know that he did a movie with a beaver? I'm serious. A beaver. Mmm! Pigs in a blanket. That's a great title.

Ford: What the hell, Nate. Did you work with that guy?

Nate: Mmm.

Ford: Nate, if you want to be taken seriously as an actor, you can't do porn.

Dani: Nate! Hi! There you are. Hi.

Nate: Hey.

Dani: What's going on?

Nate: There's nothing going on.

Dorian: You have not been hired to chat with the guests. Circulate, please. The wieners are getting cold.

Ford: We'll talk about this later.

Dani: Did you guys have a fight or something?

Nate: No, no. Ford's just down, working a premiere when he wants to be making his own films.

Dani: Oh, yeah, I get that.

Nate: You look great.

Dani: Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself. Oh! You know who I saw? That skeevy lawyer. You know, the one who gave Deanna the info about her mom. He's here.

Nate: Wonder how he got in.

Ford: Markko. Hi. Congratulations. It's a big night for you.

Markko: Yeah. Yeah, it's really exciting, and I got another film lined up after this. You know, I owe it all to you, Ford.

Ford: Me?

Markko: You were my teacher, after all.

Ford: Uh...how's Langston?

Markko: She's great. She's already working on another project. Yeah, man, she's blowing up. . We're back together, so it's all good. It's real good.

Ford: I'm happy to hear that.

Markko: But I heard you got your heart broken. Starr keeps us in the loop.

Ford: Yeah, well, it's rough.

Markko: Been there.

Ford: Excuse me. Hors d'oeuvre?

Vimal: No. No.

Rama: No.

Vimal: You did it to ease your conscience.

Rama: No, Vimal, that's not true. I did it to buy you time. Your parents are going to go back to Mumbai in a few days, and we can figure out what to do next.

Vimal: But what about when there's no baby? Is Cristian Vega going to help out with that, too?

Mrs. Patel: You'll never believe this, Rama. I got Harrison Ford's autograph!

Mr. Patel: Very big fan.

Mrs. Patel: And knowing my son is so successful, my grandson is on the way, this is the happiest day of my life!

Blanca: And who are you wearing, Starr?

Starr: Sally Lesser.

Blanca: A major talent. I understand that you and Baz are cutting a single together.

Starr: We haven't yet, but we are working on music together.

Blanca: I guess talent runs in both families.

Tomás: Yes, Starr's a wonderful singer, just like her mother. And my son is very innovative. I've never heard anything like him. I'm very proud of him-- of both of them.

Old Todd: Just sit tight, Tomás. McBain's coming for you. Keep your hands off my daughter.

Blanca: ...Bit of controversy over the casting. Your character is portrayed by an Asian-American actress?

Blair: I guess that's the magic of Hollywood, right?

Blanca: Love those earrings.

Blair: Oh, thank you. They were a gift from my ex-husband.

Téa: Come on. The movie's about to start.

Starr: Yeah.

Téa: Get in there.

[Turns off TV]

Rex: I gotta do it, Morasco, and right now. How else will Shane ever move on?

David: Showtime, baby.

Dorian: Yes.

Markko: Whew!

Blanco: It's been a night to remember, even bigger than the primetime episode of "Fraternity Row." I'm just sorry that you can't come with me. This is Blanca Morales signing off for now. Let's go. This is great.

Old Todd: The earrings. I gave you those earrings.

Blair: So do you remember these earrings?

Tomás: Please. They're beautiful. They're from the photograph. I spent hours

Blair: Yes. I wish I knew where that photograph was. I was looking at it out by the pool the other day, and I guess the wind blew it away.

Tomás: As long as I get to look at the real thing.

Blair: Mmm.

Tomás: Silly. You grab us a couple seats? I'll be right there.

Blair: Sure. Hello, John.

Tomás: Thanks.

John: Blair. She is something, isn't she?

Tomás: Absolutely.

John: So you have something to tell me about Todd Manning?

Old Todd: Hmm. I think maybe I'm going to a party.

[Applause]

Dorian: Thank you. Thank you all for coming and joining and sharing in this wonderful evening with me.

David: Us.

Dorian: Us. Oh, darling. Ha ha! This film has been a labor of love from start to finish. It's the story of love and redemption--in other words, marriage. And it's based on a true story, a love story of my relationship with my husband David Vickers Buchanan.

[Applause]

Jack: I think it's time we throw popcorn at her.

Todd: Shut up. I told you everything is gonna be fine.

[Beeping]

[Latch clicks]

Dorian: I am Mrs. David Vickers Buchanan. Most importantly, I'm the proud executive producer of the film you are about to see. "Vicker Man: The David Vickers Buchanan story."

Dani: Someday, it's gonna be you up there.

[Dramatic music playing]

David's voice: I had it all. I was about to marry the woman I loved, and then tragedy struck.

[Film cuts off]

[Audience murmuring]

Dorian: I apologize, everybody. We seem to be having a technical difficulty, and we will resolve that in just a moment.

[Sexy music playing]

[Audience murmuring]

Dani: Is that you?

Nate's voice: Heard you were failing sex ed. Lucky for you, I aced the class.

[Audience gasps]

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