OLTL Transcript Wednesday 6/22/11

One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 6/22/11

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Episode # 10964

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by
Gisele

David: Would you listen to me? You are getting upset over absolutely nothing.

Dorian: You call this absolutely nothing?

[Music playing through earbuds]

[Door closes]

James: Hey, Starr. Ha ha!

Blair: Oh, my feet. There are too many clubs per square inch in New York City.

Tomás: My ears are still ringing.

Blair: Ohh. Are you sure that's why your son took off, because he was gonna go clubbing?

Tomás: I'm not sure of anything. I barely know the boy. Yvette's looking up some of his friends in the city. She said the best way to find him-- follow his taste in music.

James: Starr. Starr.

Starr: Aah! James! Oh, my gosh. I wasn't making a total fool out of myself, was I?

James: No. You looked great.

Starr: Geez.

James: What were you listening to? You were totally into it.

Starr: Ha!

James: Baz? What's Baz?

Starr: It's this guy I met at school. He found my mp3 player, took all of my music off of it, and put his music on.

James: And who is this jerk?

Jack: Yo. Has McPain been all up in your face, too?

Todd: What'd I tell you? No talking on the phone. No texting. Nothing. You're not getting set up for murder on my watch.

Rex: No one knows your heart like I do. And I know you wouldn't want it beating inside Clint Buchanan. I think I have a plan that can guarantee that can't happen.

[Knocking on door]

Téa: Hi, Rex.

Rex: Please tell me you've figured out how I can marry Gigi.

Brody: Hey, did Forensics send up the lab report on Gigi yet?

John: Not yet. Seems everyone's running a little late today.

Brody: I'm sorry. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

John: Forget about it. You look a little tired.

Brody: Yeah, I had a rough night.

Jessica: You're still here.

Natalie: Where else would I be?

Jessica: At the Angel Square Motel with your new boyfriend Brody.

Blair: What's he like?

Tomás: I don't really know the kid. Yvette and I had broken up by the time he was born, since I thought he was another man's son.

Blair: But you saw him. He must've made some kind of impression on you.

Tomás: To be brutally honest, I thought he was arrogant. Kid had no manners. Barely looked at you, much less spoke to you.

Blair: Why don't you tell me how you really feel?

Tomás: What can I say? Every time I saw him, he always had his nose buried in the latest overpriced gadget, and I just had the feeling that Yvette indulged him, something of a spoiled brat.

Baz: You forgot stupid and ugly.

Tomás: Sebastian, where have you been?

Starr: Yes, this Baz guy is a little stuck on himself, and what he did was a complete jerk move, but at least he put my music back on.

James: Are you really gonna keep his playlist?

Starr: Actually, yeah. His music is really good. Listen. He makes great beats. Tell me what you think.

[Music playing through earbud]

James: I don't like it.

Natalie: Brody is not my boyfriend.

Jessica: So you guys just hang out in bed naked 'cause... it keeps you warm? It's ok, Natalie. I'm through with Brody. You can have him. And the baby makes 3, right?

Natalie: Stop it.

Jessica: That's how it should be. One happy, little family.

Natalie: I understand why you're being so-- ok. What you walked in on last night was a shock. You weren't prepared for how close Brody and I got.

Jessica: Close. That's what you're calling it?

Natalie: But you're back now, so you and Brody can pick up the pieces and figure this out.

Jessica: I know you're not telling me what to do, right?

Natalie: No, I'm not, Jess.

Jessica: Because what's there to figure out? You and Brody slept together. Again.

Natalie: You know that's not how it was.

Jessica: Or maybe I should just pretend that it never happened. Brody and I can go back to when we were really, really in love and gonna get married. But just one problem with that. It's gonna be a little crowded in Brody's bed with you there, too.

Brody: Yeah, I moved back into Angel Square. Forgot how noisy it is. Kids yelling and sirens. Whatever. I'll get over it.

John: So you moved out of Llanfair?

Todd: You know, I would not put it past McBain to have tapped your phone, Jack. Then I find you blabbing your mouth to your partner in crime Brad.

Jack: I didn't say anything!

Todd: Good! Keep it that way. McBain is gunning for you. If he finds one piece of evidence against you, he is gonna use it.

Jack: Dad, I know.

Todd: You know what I hope? I just hope you weren't so stupid as to have left a piece of evidence in that basement where you locked up Gigi Morasco. Are you that stupid, Jack?

Jack: It's not like we were robbing a bank.

Todd: You're telling me you did?

Jack: I don't know. We didn't bother covering our tracks. I told you--it was an accident. Nothing was supposed to happen.

Todd: I'm just glad we have Téa on our side. In fact, she should be out doing damage control right now.

Téa: I did some research.

Rex: And?

Téa: There isn't a judge in this state or any other, as far as I can tell, who would agree to marry you and Gigi with her incapable of giving consent.

Rex: She already gave her consent. She signed the marriage license. We were on our way. It was a done deal.

Téa: Yes, but it was never made official.

Rex: Then make it official. I cannot stop Clint from taking Gigi's heart unless we're married!

Téa: I'm sorry, Rex.

Rex: No, no, no, no. This is what you do. This is what you're good at. This is your specialty. Using marriage as a tactic is a Delgado in legal circles. You've done it a thousand times.

Téa: Not when one of the parties involved isn't fully alive.

Rex: Yeah. Because of your little piece of garbage that you call a stepson. Admit it. That's why you're not trying hard enough to help me. You know I'm gonna go after that bastard with everything I got.

David: With those glasses and gloves, you look like Jackie O. solving a crime.

Dorian: Too late for compliments. David, you swore to me that I was the only Dorian in your life, and yet you launched into an affair with this sleazy stripper skank wannabe Dorian.

David: Ionia Masters and I are not having...

Dorian: How could you, David?

David: ...Not true.

Dorian: Oh, and I guess you have a bridge in China you want to sell me.

David: Why would I have a bridge in China? Hey, did I tell you there's a guy who wants to sell me a bridge in Brooklyn, though?

Dorian: David.

David: Why do you think that that bra belongs to Ionia?

Dorian: Because I've seen this broad strip every chance she gets. She's a full-time shameless exhibitionist.

David: That's true.

[Dorian scoffs]

David: But listen to me. Why would I have an affair with the fake Dorian Lord when I'm married to the real Dorian Lord? Huh? Look, everything is coming together for us. We've wrapped the movie. Markko and Langston are editing. We're about to be the toast of the town. Everything is working out perfectly for us. This is our moment.

Dorian: Is it?

David: Absolutely. Uncle Clint tried to destroy us. That didn't happen. My little bro, he's getting better, and now Uncle Clint is dying. Everything is perfect. You and I are happy right now. So don't ruin this with paranoia.

Dorian: I suppose you're right.

David: Of course, I'm right. You know what we need? A little bubbly. I'm gonna get some champagne, and we're going to toast the success of our about-to-be blockbuster movie.

Dorian: And our fidelity.

David: That, too.

Tomás: I've been searching for you all over New York City.

Baz: Why? Because you like me so much?

Tomás: Look, I'm sorry you overheard what I just said about you, but that's what I thought before you--before I found out--

Baz: Go ahead, Tomás. You can say it. Before you found out that you were my dad. Trust me, it was news to me, too. I basically found out my mom lied to me my whole life.

Tomás: Any idea why?

Baz: Because she's crazy? Always has been. I stopped trying to figure her out a long time ago.

Tomás: I'm gonna give her a call, let her know you're safe.

Blair: Ahem. I'm Blair. I'm a friend of...your dad's.

Baz: Sounds weird, doesn't it?

Blair: A little.

Baz: Anyway, my dad has good taste.

Tomás: Your mother's on her way back.

Baz: Fantastic.

Tomás: So. Where the hell you been all night?

Baz: Llanview, Pennsylvania.

Blair: Excuse me?

Baz: Yeah. Mom told me she's dumping me on you, so since that's where you live, I thought I'd jump on a train, check it out. Talk about a backwater place. I mean--

Blair: I beg your pardon?

Baz: I would never be caught dead there. Going from Paris to that hick town?

Blair: Wait, wait. No, you didn't.

Baz: What?

Blair: Tomás, you are gonna have to teach this boy some manners, because you don't get to insult where I live and where I choose to raise my children. You got it?

Téa: Rex, please believe me. I really wish I could help you and Gigi get married. I really do. But I can't. I'm really sorry.

Rex: Your stepson's going down for this.

Téa: No charges have been brought against Jack.

Rex: They will be. Trust me, they will be. Get the hell out.

Echo: I stopped by the house. Roxy told me everything. I can't believe it. So it's true. Rex...I'm so sorry.

Rex: Don't feel sorry for me. Feel bad for the son of a bitch who did this to Gigi.

Todd: Maybe if John does find something on you, Téa can keep you from being tried as an adult and serving hard time.

Jack: You really think that could happen?

Todd: Yeah, if we didn't have Téa. Yeah, I do. But it's your first offense and maybe she can get the sentence suspended.

Jack: Still sounds kinda bad.

Todd: Yeah, Jack, it is.

Jack: I don't get it. You're rich. You've gotten out of tons of legal stuff. Why can't you just do something to make this go away? Like give McPain a million dollars or something.

Todd: So you think it's that easy? I just write a check, and you're off the hook?

Jack: You said you'd protect me. Did you mean that or not?

John: I didn't think you'd want to move away from Liam.

Brody: I don't. It's complicated. Jessica's back.

John: That's a good thing, right?

Brody: Sure.

John: What? You...you two aren't together?

Natalie: Stop it.

Jessica: Me?

Natalie: Put yourself in Brody's shoes for a minute. You were gone.

Jessica: Please. Don't lecture me about what it was like when I was gone. Brody already did that.

Natalie: Obviously, you weren't listening. Because Brody didn't know if you were ever coming back this time. He felt abandoned.

Jessica: Please. That's between Brody and me. You are my sister, Natalie, and you slept with my fiancé, and please, you can't blame it this time on one drunken night of confusion, because you knew exactly what you were doing. So put yourself in my place. How would you feel if I slept with John?

Tomás: Sebastian... you need to apologize to Blair.

Baz: What, are you gonna send me to my room, too? It's a little late to start playing Daddy. But you're right. I'm sorry if I insulted your hometown.

Blair: Thank you.

Baz: But man, there is a major music deficit in that place. The people there are clueless. I met this girl. Worst musical taste ever. She was pretty cute, though.

Starr: James, you've got nothing to be jealous of. Especially looking so cute, all decked out for Nate's graduation.

James: You keep changing the subject. And I'm not jealous. I just don't like what this Boz guy did.

Starr: It's Baz.

James: I don't care what his name is. I don't like what he did.

Starr: Erasing my mp3?

James: Yeah, and then he made you a mix. I mean, Starr, he's a complete stranger.

Starr: So you want me to delete it?

James: No. Just forget it. I'm not jealous.

Starr: You already said that.

James: That's because it's true. Why would I be jealous when I already have you? Hmm?

Starr: I don't know.

Baz: I mean, this girl claimed to know music, but--

Yvette: Thank God! Where have you been, petit diable? You know you're supposed to call me if you're going to stay out all night.

Baz: Why? You're never home, either.

Yvette: Impossible.

Baz: But if you must know, I was in Llanview checking it out. Oh, by the way, I borrowed your credit card.

Yvette: You see what I have to deal with? Sebastian has been living off me forever. Let him leech off you now.

James: I'm gonna keep my eye out for that Baz dude at L.U., Just so you know.

Starr: Come on, James. He doesn't even go to L.U.

David: Hello! It's your Uncle David!

Starr: Hi!

David: Aww, how's my second-favorite niece?

Starr: I'm great. You remember James, right?

David: I do. I still have a bump on my head to prove it. Enough about the past. I'm here to collect the finest champagne and caviar for me and my exceptionally sexy wife.

Starr: There a special occasion?

[Doorbell rings]

David: Dorian needs a little pampering today. She's seeing things that aren't there.

Dorian: Yes?

Messenger: Mayor Lord? If you could just sign right here.

Dorian: Indeed.

Messenger: Here you go.

Dorian: Thank you and there you go.

David: Oh, look, music. This will get the party started.

Starr: No! Don't take that! That's mine!

David: Kind of touchy, aren't we? Never mind. Dorian and I, we gonna make our own music.

James: What was that all about?

David: We're going bare bones. I only got the essentials-- champagne and caviar. So what do you say we take this upstairs, huh?

Dorian: Stick it.

David: I'm sorry. What? What's in there? Some more errant lingerie?

Dorian: Oh, no. It's worse. Much worse.

Natalie: If you slept with John, I would feel like crap.

Jessica: Right. I bet you would. But the thing is, I wouldn't do that, because you're my sister. And you don't just sleep with your sister's fiancé, Natalie. But that's the difference between you and me. But maybe-- maybe I should change my whole outlook, you know? Be more like you. Not get bogged down with things like a conscience...

Natalie: You know what? Just shut up! Shut up, Jessica! You gave up your life. You walked out on it. So don't expect me to feel sorry for you anymore, because I am done.

Brody: Things got off to a rough start with Jessica.

[Knocking on door]

John: Yeah?

Cop: Lieutenant, you wanted the forensics on the Morasco case.

John: Yeah.

Echo: I'm so sorry I was away so long, but I had to take that freelance photo shoot in Portugal, but I came the minute I heard.

Rex: I thought you were avoiding me.

Echo: Why? Why would I do that?

Rex: You knew all along that Charlie wasn't really my father. Natalie told me.

Echo: I'm sorry I lied. But I paid for it. I lost Charlie. But I know it doesn't make it up to you. I didn't know what else to do. Clint threatened to send you to jail. I just figured that Charlie would make a better father for you.

Rex: You were right. Did Roxy tell you that my bastard of a father wants to cut into the woman I love? My wife? And take her heart for himself?

Echo: What?

Rex: Yeah. He'll die without a transplant.

Echo: But he can't do that, can he? Not without your consent.

Rex: They don't need it. Gigi was an organ donor.

Echo: I don't understand.

Rex: Gigi and I weren't married, so I can't make decisions for her.

Echo: Oh, Rex.

Rex: I asked Téa to help me, but she let me down. It's not enough, what Jack did to Gigi. If I let Clint's doctors cut into her, it'd be --

Todd: Jack... I'm doing everything I can to protect you, but I want you to stop treating this like it's some schoolyard dispute, all right?

Jack: Why are you being so tough on me? Not like you ever did anything wrong.

Todd: This is not about me. I warned you to stay away from Shane Morasco, and you promised you would, didn't you?

Jack: He dropped a weight on my foot.

Todd: Oh. Dropped a weight on your foot. Poor you. You know, after all the things that you and your idiot friends did to him, I'm surprised he didn't drop a weight on your head. Probably be a hell of a lot smarter than you are right now. Why couldn't you let it go?

Jack: Yeah. Like you let Marty Saybrooke go.

Todd: Come here. Don't you go there with me, kid. Do you understand me? Don't you take the moral high ground with me. Gigi Morasco is brain dead because of you. Do you realize that?

Jack: It was an accident, damn it! That's more than you can say. At least I didn't rape anyone.

Todd: What? What? You don't talk to me that way! Huh? You...

Téa: Todd, what is going on? Stop it! What are you doing? Jack, are you all right?

Todd: Where the hell have you been, anyway?

Téa: I had some business to take care of. What were you doing? Jack?

Jack: Ask him.

Téa: What the hell is going on? Were you about to hit your son? Talk to me!

Todd: I'm losing it. I don't think I can handle this.

Téa: Tell me what happened. What set this off?

Todd: Jack. He's going down this path that is very dangerous and really scaring me, and...it feels very familiar to me. But what do I do? I just-- I start channeling my father. I start channeling Peter Manning, my so-called father.

Rex: I'm not lifting a finger to save my so-called father, not when the old man wanted nothing to do with me.

Echo: I understand. And I don't wish Clint dead, but what happens to Gigi should be up to you and nobody else.

Rex: It should be up to Gigi.

Echo: Rex, let me do something. Anything. Please. I want to help.

Rex: I wish you could.

Echo: Roxy sent these things over from the house, and there's an envelope here with Gigi's name on it. She thought it might be important.

Rex: It's from a lawyer.

David: What are these?

Dorian: Pictures of you-know-who doing you-know-what with you in your dressing room.

David: Where did you get these?

Dorian: A messenger brought them.

David: But how-- this one doesn't even obey the laws of gravity. Oh. You can't let these things bother you. Pictures can be faked, you know.

Dorian: Oh. You're saying those are faked?

David: Well, no.

Tomás: All right. Let's make it official. You sign the divorce papers today, it would be my pleasure to take care of Sebastian.

Yvette: Wonderful.

Tomás: Really? Finally.

Yvette: Après vous.

Baz: Aren't you both forgetting something? I'm no longer a minor. I don't have to live with either one of you.

Yvette: And live on what money?

Yvette: Fini.

Blair: Congratulations on ending a marriage I didn't even know existed.

Yvette: Yes, I've always been Tomás' inconvenient truth. But now he's free. Hmm?

Tomás: Good-bye, Yvette.

Yvette: Au revoir. Mm. Get to know your father, if you can.

Blair: Yvette, what did you mean?

Yvette: What did I mean about what?

Blair: You just said two cryptic things about Tomás. What are you trying to say?

Yvette: Only that I had my reasons for keeping Sebastian away from Tomás all those years. Be careful, chérie.

[Elevator door opens]

Natalie: When your life got too tough, when you found out the truth about Ryder, and you found out that Brody and I slept together, you took off.

Jessica: You think I wanted Tess to come back?

Natalie: Pretty convenient. You know, things get hard, just hand it over to someone else, and walk away. Lucky for you. Not so lucky for me. Because while you're out cavorting as Tess, abandoning Brody and your child, mine got ripped away.

Jessica: And that's my fault?

Natalie: No, no, no. No, it's mine. It's all mine, but I had to deal with that. After all the lies that I told, and everything blew up in my face, I had to live with that. I had to do all the work to put the pieces back together.

Jessica: So what do you want, Natalie? You want a medal?

Natalie: Brody waited for you for months. He tried to get to you as many times as he could, no matter times you shot him down or he was humiliated-- while Tess took up with half the male population of Llanview.

Jessica: So Tess is your excuse to act like a slut?

Natalie: Works for you, doesn't it? Brody and I never meant for this to happen. We were just trying to take care of our son. Try to have some sort of normal life for Liam and for us. And then you come strolling back one night, and you expect everything to be exactly the way it was when you left. But guess what, Jess? Life went on without you. Deal with it.

Brody: What do you think?

John: What I was expecting.

Dorian: How could you do this to me, David?

David: It wasn't me, all right? That woman, Ionia, is crazy. She's an actress. Of course, she's crazy. All actresses are crazy. She came into my dressing room, and she threw herself at me.

Dorian: Really? So why did you lie to me about it?

David: I didn't lie. She came into my dressing room, she threw herself at me while ripping her clothes off all at the same time. I threw her out. I said I'm a married man. I'm a happily married man. I gotta tell you, it was awful. I felt violated.

Dorian: Poor David. So why didn't you tell me about this before?

Starr: Seriously, James, you do not know David Vickers like I do. If I would've let him take my mp3 player, I would've never gotten it back. And it is not because I have some fascination with this Baz person. You believe me, right?

James: Well, I don't know.

Starr: Please can we just drop the subject of this Baz guy and his music anytime soon?

Baz: I meant what I said. I'm an adult. On paper, at least. I don't need you to take care of me.

Tomás: So you can support yourself?

Baz: I happen to be a damn good music producer and DJ. I can get jobs anywhere. In fact, I heard the music scene in Buenos Aires is banging. I can live on the cheap while I try to make my own music.

Tomás: Or you could come to Llanview with me, get to know your Aunt Téa and your cousin Danielle.

Blair: And you know what? I have children, and they happen to be Dani's siblings.

Baz: That's great and all. I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks, but no thanks.

Rex: Thank you for coming.

Echo: Of course. You're my son, and I love you. I just wish I could do something to ease your pain.

Rex: Let me know if you can come up with a way to keep Clint from getting Gigi's heart. And don't say "Kill him," because I've already thought of that. You got mail. "Dear Ms. Morasco, at your request, I've enclosed copies of the documents we discussed. I applaud your desire to get your personal affairs in order in light of your upcoming wedding. Not every young bride is so responsible." What the hell? "Enclosed you will find..." blah blah blah..."a will, a living will, and a health care proxy. The latter document will enable you and your husband to make crucial health care decisions for each other in the event that either one of you is unable to do so." Oh, my God.

Jessica: Are you done? Because I have a doctor's appointment, and then after that, I have to go to the hospital to see Dad.

Natalie: That's where I'm going, too. Called Mom before, and Dad had a rough night.

Jessica: I know, Natalie.

Natalie: I'm really glad that you're gonna go see your doctor. Because the last thing we need right now is for Tess to come back. I guess I should be super grateful. At least Tess didn't try to kill me this time.

Jessica: Don't push me.

Téa: You cannot let Jack push your buttons. He gets to you because you see yourself in him. But you're not Peter Manning, ok? That man did not have a loving bone in his body, and neither did Victor Lord.

Todd: Can I get that in writing?

Téa: Todd, if you feel yourself channeling either one of them, about to hit your own son, you need to take a step back. You need to get some distance. Breathe. Ok? Because if we're gonna be any help at all to Jack, we need to remain calm and cool, and believe me, he's gonna need our help.

[Knocking on door]

Todd: Who is it?

John: Candygram. Come on. You know who it is.

Téa: I'll talk to them. How can we help you?

John: Where's Jack?

Téa: If you're here to speak to my client, he won't be answering questions at this time.

John: I don't care. We're not here questioning. We're here arresting.

David: I didn't tell you about Ionia's hoochie-coochie dance in my dressing room, because I knew you'd flip out, which is exactly what you're doing. I planned to tell you when the movie wrapped. But if I told you before the movie wrapped, you would kill the lead actress, and we would never wrap.

Dorian: Yes, yes, it's quite understandable, except for one detail.

David: What's that?

Dorian: We've already wrapped.

David: And I was planning on telling you. I brought champagne and caviar to soften the blow. Listen to me, baby. You gotta believe me. There's nothing going on between me and Ionia. I would tell you it's over, but it was never on to begin with. I swear on everything that is holy and true. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Dorian: You have to admit, David, there is something weird going on.

David: No. Women throw themselves at me all the time.

Dorian: I am talking about these photographs. Who took the photos? And why?

Echo: You did it?

Messenger: Yeah.

Echo: You did what I asked?

Messenger: I delivered your photos to Dorian Lord.

Echo: Good. Thanks. I will be in touch. Oh, Dorian. I am going to ruin your relationship with David Vickers just like you ruined mine with Charlie.

James: Fine. Consider the subject of Baz dropped.

Starr: Good. Because it is totally nothing, and if we keep talking about this guy that I am never going to see again, we are not going to make it to your brother's graduation.

James: So when are we gonna go?

Starr: Oh, gosh, I'm not even ready yet. Do you want to just meet there?

James: Yeah. Sounds like a plan.

Starr: Ha ha ha! See ya.

James: Bye.

[Door closes]

[Music playing through earbuds]

Tomás: You're right. Finding out I was your father-- shock for all of us. I just-- I'd just kind of like some time to get to know you a little bit.

Baz: Look, it's nothing personal. But I need to make music, and Llanview clearly isn't the place to do that.

Blair: You know, I have an idea. I actually own a club in Llanview. It's called Capricorn. It's pretty great. It may not be as bangin' as Buenos Aires, but you know what? We have really great equipment, and it's all updated and it is free.

Tomás: As is room and board.

Baz: Sold. I'll give Llanview a try.

John: The forensics report came back. Jack's fingerprints all over the scene.

Todd: You know that's a bunch of bull. What is this--payback because you can't get me on the Marty Saybrooke deal?

Brody: Where is he, Manning?

Jack: Dad?

John: Hey, there he is. Jack, come on down. We have a warrant for your arrest for the kidnapping and attempted murder of Gigi Morasco.

Rex: This is just like you, Morasco. Always the organized one, always thinking ahead. Of course, I guess you had to learn, since I left you to raise a kid on your own. Who knows--you might have mentioned this health care proxy thing to me before. I didn't pay any attention. We were always so worried about Shane. Something happening to one of us just seemed so far away and impossible. It won't bring you back, but if I sign your name here... I can stop your heart from ever beating inside Clint Buchanan's chest.

Brody: Jack Manning, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney.

Jack: Dad, don't let them do this. Please. Can't you do something?

John: No. Come on. Let's go, Jack.

Téa: We'll be right there, Jack.

Natalie: Is that a threat? Should I be worried that Tess is gonna come after me in my sleep?

Jessica: No. Don't worry. If I decide to pay you back for what you've done with Brody, it'll be me that comes after you, not Tess. I wonder what John McBain's up to.

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