OLTL Transcript Wednesday 5/11/11

One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 5/11/11

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Episode # 10935

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Gisele

Tess: Where the hell am I?

Brody: Jess?

Cutter: Tess?

Tess: Uh, no. I'm Wes.

Cutter: Who's Wes?

Wes: Brody, who is this clown?

Brody: This is... this is Cutter. And you are?

Wes: I'm your old pal Wes. You been a civilian too long. It scrambled your brains. This guy, we gotta fix that. Take this guy off a ship, and this is what happens. Brody and I were in the Navy together. Weren't we, Lovett?

Rama: The coconut milk, orange juice...nirvana. It's perfect.

Cristian: So I guess that means we're through. No more burning the midnight oil trying to come up with a perfect Delhi belly.

Rama: I can teach you new drinks--you know, monsoon mama, midnight in Mumbai--

Cristian: Or we can talk.

Rama: Talk? About what? You and me?

Cristian: You and Vimal. Have you told him you're not pregnant yet?

Aubrey: Hi, Cristian. Need to borrow Rama for a minute, a little girl talk. About Joey.

Joey: Excuse me. I'm Joey Buchanan, Clint Buchanan's son. I'm looking for my father's cardiologist Dr. Shen?

Dr. Shen: I'm afraid the tests confirm the initial diagnosis. Your heart is failing. I've notified the national register.

Clint: It doesn't matter how high you put me on that list. The odds of finding a donor-- not gonna happen, not with my blood type.

Dr. Shen: We'll do everything we can to make you comfortable, Mr. Buchanan. You might think about getting your affairs in order, making arrangements with family.

Clint: I don't want my family to know anything about this.

Joey: Dad?

John: Mrs. Banks?

Viki: Oh, I'm sorry.

John: Lois let me in. You ok?

Viki: No, I'm fine. I'm sorry. I was thinking.

John: Ok.

Viki: What can I do for you?

John: I'm looking for Natalie. She left me a message, said it was urgent.

Natalie: Ok. This is it, Liam. We are going to tell John that he's your daddy. Yeah! John! It's Natalie! John? John, it's Natalie. Hello.

Clint: I can take it from here, Doctor.

Joey: So when can my dad get out of here?

Clint: It's gonna be a while, Joey. Now Dr. Shen has other patients to see.

Joey: See? That is a good sign. You're already bossing your doctors around.

Clint: It's good to see you, Joey.

Joey: Been here every day. I wish I was here last night when you came to. I was over at the courthouse with Mom. I wish Cutter would have called me.

Clint: Yes, I hear that he's been keeping vigil.

Joey: Not anymore.

Clint: Why? What happened?

Joey: Let's just say he has his hands full.

Clint: With what, the job he never got? Joey, you might as well tell me. I'm gonna find out.

Joey: It's my fault. I screwed up, Dad. Cutter married Tess.

Brody: All right, quit playing, Tess. We're on to you.

Wes: Who the hell is Tess? Oh, I get it. Geez. How much did we have to drink last night, huh? This guy. One time we went down to Tijuana and we got, what, 2, 3 bottles of tequila? I think by the end of the night, he was wearing his boots and that serape we stole from that girl at the bar, remember? Remember her? Nice try, Lovett. Cannot go out picking up chicks if I'm dressed like one. Gentlemen, the night is young, and the ladies are waiting.

[Door slams]

Wes: Dude, it's cool if I borrow your clothes, right?

Cutter: Yeah.

[Door slams]

Rama: Forgive me, Cristian. I need to go speak to my friend.

Cristian: And then we'll finish our conversation, right?

Aubrey: I need your help.

Rama: I thought you were home with Joey and the baby.

Aubrey: The baby's asleep and Joey went to see his dad. I need to ask you something.

Rama: Ok, I'm not giving up my room for you to use as a nursery.

Aubrey: Oh, Rama, come on. Not everything is about you. I'm in trouble, all right? My marriage is about to end.

Rama: Why, what happened?

Aubrey: Cutter. He's gonna ruin everything.

Dorian: Oh, please tell me you haven't resorted to stealing glasses from a fine establishment like Capricorn? Off the wagon. What happened, Echo? Or should I say "Lush of Llanview," "Minx of the Minute Man," "Slut of--"

Echo: You were saying?

Viki: Really? Natalie's not here. Do you know what she wanted? Is she working on a case for you or something?

John: No. It's probably nothing.

Viki: Well, I doubt it. She doesn't usually say it's urgent if it isn't. She had Liam with her. Maybe she went to find you.

John: You know, I'll give her a call. I'll swing by the hotel. Thank you.

Viki: John... I know that Natalie hurt you very deeply, and I realize it's none of my business. She still loves you so much. Please. Just treat her gently, will you?

Natalie: Ok, your daddy's definitely not in the bedroom. A note. This is not John's handwriting. "Up on the roof." John wouldn't take Kelly up on the roof, would he? That's our place. But it doesn't matter, right? Doesn't matter because we're gonna be up there with him very, very soon. Just as soon as I tell John that you are his son. That's right. Let's go find him. What are you doing here, Marty?

Marty: I'm waiting for John. We're having dinner, and you're not invited.

Natalie: Too bad. We're staying.

Marty: No, this is a very important dinner, an evening for John and me. We're celebrating.

Natalie: Yes, I can see that. What's the special occasion? Full moon?

Marty: No, John and I are back together, and I will not let you ruin this.

Natalie: Actually, I think John will be very happy to see us.

Marty: No, John has moved on. When you climbed into bed with Brody and had his child.

Natalie: Only I didn't have Brody's child, did I, Marty? I had John's.

John: Let Natalie know I came by. Charlie.

Charlie: Hey, John. Lois didn't want to let me in.

Viki: I was just leaving for the hospital to go see Clint.

Charlie: This won't take long. So... the divorce papers that you sent by. I did my part, so all they need now is your signature and our marriage is officially over.

Echo: How's that for "The Lunatic of La Boulaie," "The Mad Mayor of Mainline."

Cristian: What's going on out here? Someone said that... here. It's clean.

Dorian: Thank you.

Cristian: I think you better leave.

Dorian: No, I don't think she had better. No, no, she better not be driving in her condition. She might be a danger to herself or one of my constituents.

Cristian: Ok, fine, then I'll call you a cab. You ok?

Dorian: Yes, yes. I'm just fine, thank you. It's going to take a lot more than a martini--which, by the way, has too much vermouth in it--to ruffle my feathers. But thank you. I'm gonna be fine, and I can handle this.

Echo: Don't do me any favors.

Dorian: Tell me, why are you in such a terrible mood? Single again?

Rama: Oh, Aubrey, I'm sure you're overreacting. Cutter's not smart enough.

Aubrey: He married Tess.

Rama: Tess? Isn't she married to that filmmaker guy you were romancing in Venice?

Aubrey: Not anymore. She ended that and married Cutter.

Rama: Oh, interesting. But I thought the plan was you and Cutter scam Joey for all his money and then run off together.

Aubrey: Well, the plan's changed.

Rama: Since when? And why wasn't I informed?

Aubrey: I'm informing you right now. The plans have changed. I told Cutter we're through.

Clint: How can Cutter be married to Tess? I thought Tess was married to Ford.

Joey: She was, and I tried to use that to our advantage. You know that Aubrey and I have custody of Ryder.

Clint: Yeah, your mother told me that you stepped up on that. Thank you, Joey.

Joey: That was actually Aubrey's idea. She loves kids. Anyway, I tried to offer Ford a deal. I know how much he loves his son. So I told Ford that I would give him custody of Ryder if he would have Tess committed.

Clint: That's not such a bad move.

Joey: And he was gonna go for it, only Tess caught wind of it and took off. Somehow she managed to hook up with Cutter, got a lawyer, and had her marriage to Ford annulled.

Clint: And married that S.O.B.

Joey: It gets worse. He came to me today.

Clint: Now he wants a deal.

Joey: And obviously he doesn't want custody of a child.

Clint: He wants money.

Joey: Lots of it.

Wes: Makeup? Lovett, you're a dead man.

Cutter: What the hell's going on? Who's Wes?

Brody: I had this buddy in the Navy, a guy named Wes Granger. Jessica met him a couple times. I told her all kinds of stories about him. I'm guessing somehow Jessica...became Wes, that she's--

Cutter: A guy? I'm married to a guy?

Brody: Sorta. It's pretty common for people with D.I.D. Her mom has a couple male alters.

Charlie: Wasn't gonna fight you on it after what I put you through. Look, I think you should know that Echo and I kind of had it out after you left, and... so that's over.

Viki: Oh, Charlie, I... I hope you know I did not give you that recording to hurt you. I didn't.

Charlie: No, no. I'm glad you did. Of course, I feel like an idiot, but now I can make a clean start, which is what I said this morning at my meeting.

Viki: I'm glad you're going to meetings.

Charlie: Yeah, and I had a long talk with my sponsor.

Viki: This is not my business anymore.

Charlie: Ok, but Viki, please. I need to make amends, and believe me, I am not asking for your forgiveness, 'cause I don't deserve that. But I just want you to know that I am gonna do everything in my power to at least try to earn back your respect. That's why I came here... and also to say good-bye. I'm leaving Llanview.

Echo: So you heard about Charlie and me.

Dorian: Yes, he dumped you on your derriere. But since you have given up AA for the martinis at Capricorn, it's easy to figure out why.

Echo: You're loving this.

Dorian: That I am.

Echo: And what does that say about you?

Dorian: That I'm a very good judge of character. You've gotten exactly what you deserved. You've lied to Charlie. You've lied to your grandson.

Echo: Charlie will understand,

Dorian: I doubt that very much. My, haven't you heard? He's leaving town.

Charlie: Yeah, I think it's for the best. You know, I came here for Jared, but I stayed for you. I guess now that I've lost you both, I think it's time for a fresh start.

Viki: Where are you gonna go?

Charlie: I wasn't really sure, but then I stopped by the Buenos Dias and ran into Moe and Noelle, and they lit into me like you wouldn't believe.

Viki: Oh, I'm sorry.

Charlie: No, you're not, but anyway, after things calmed, down, they told me that--the bad news is that a twister touched down in Paris, Texas.

Viki: Oh, no, not the Bon-jour.

Charlie; Yeah. Yeah, it's been, leveled.

Viki: Oh!

Charlie: But the good news is that Moe's decided he's gonna rebuild, and he offered me the job, so I couldn't say no. That place gave me back my life. I figured I should return the favor.

Rama: Why? Not that I really liked him, but you and Cutter were in the middle of a scam. You're right. If I breathe one word to the Buchanans, your marriage will be over. And most importantly, they'll kick me out of the house!

Aubrey: Why do you think I'm here? Don't you think I know that?

Rama: You shouldn't be talking to me. You need to talk to Cutter. You need to win him back. Go!

Joey: I love Aubrey.

Clint: I didn't ask you if you loved her. Oh, God, Joey, if you gotta think about it, that's not good.

Joey: Yes, I have some questions, but that makes sense, right? I don't know her very well, as you've pointed out. You've always told me that she was after my money. You even threatened to disinherit me... until Aubrey talked you out of it. Kelly claims that Aubrey and Cutter are not brother and sister. That flash drive from the camera that you put in Aubrey's room. Kelly was sure that it proved Aubrey wasn't who she said she was, but I looked at the footage. All I saw was Aubrey telling her brother how much she loved me. And that makes no sense. Why would Kelly go to all that trouble to get me to see what was on the jump drive if it didn't prove what she said it proved?

Clint: What is it you're really asking me, Joey?

Aubrey: I don't want Cutter back.

Rama: Aubrey, you aren't making any sense. If you want to steal Joey's money, you can't upset Cutter. You need the--

Aubrey: What? I don't love Cutter anymore, ok? I love Joey.

Joey: I want the truth, Dad.

Clint: Oh, Joey. Any number of people have been trying to tell you the truth for months, but you didn't want to hear it. So now we've all kind of given up.

Joey: Yeah, but things have changed. Aubrey and I have custody of Ryder. We're talking about having kids of our own. I don't do that if she's lying to me. I need you to tell me the truth. Please, Dad, tell me what you know.

Cutter: You happy now? She's even crazier than before.

Brody: This is your fault, Wentworth. I warned you that she was fragile.

Cutter: She was fine until you came here and started messing with her head.

Brody: She--fine? She hasn't been fine for months.

Cutter: Oh, yeah? Well, now he-- she is a he. I can't even keep it straight. And I got a cross-dressing bilge rat in my bathroom!

Wes: Hey, who you calling a bilge rat? Who's ready to get their drinks on?

Marty: I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean.

Natalie: Liam's paternity results--the one you were carrying around in your purse?

Marty: You know, I have some crudités to prepare.

Natalie: Now I understand why you laughed at me when I ripped them up--because that was the original, the one that showed John is actually Liam's father.

Marty: You're delusional.

Natalie: Well, right back at you, Marty, but luckily, you spilled it all to your shrink.

Marty's voice: I can live with what've done, and so can John and Natalie. John will never know that Liam is his son.

Natalie: It's over, Marty. You're done.

Echo: You're lying. Charlie wouldn't leave town.

Dorian: There's nothing left for him here. You have seen to that.

Echo: Oh, Viki. There's Viki. They're still married.

Dorian: Yeah. I don't think Viki wants your sloppy seconds.

Echo: No. You're lying. Where would he go?

Dorian: That I cannot reveal.

Echo: Can't or won't?

Dorian: Actually, I know a great many of the details. You see, I know Carlotta Vega. You know her. Oh, you don't? Well, she's Cristian and Antonio's mother. Oh, yes. I practically raised those boys. Carlotta and I go way back.

Echo: And this woman told you what?

Dorian: Chuckles has a job.

Echo: Where?

Dorian: Far, far away where you will be nothing but a dim bad memory.

Charlie: Viki, if there--no, I'm sorry. You were saying?

Viki: No, you go ahead.

Charlie: I was just gonna ask you if you could give Natalie a message for me. I mean, it could be a while before I'm back in these parts, and I was just hoping that maybe she could just say hello to Jared for me whenever she stops by the cemetery to visit the grave.

Viki: Yes, of course.

Charlie: You were gonna say something?

Viki: Just... good luck.

Charlie: Thank you. It means a lot to me. Hey. I will always love you, Viki D.

Viki: Bye, Charlie.

Brody: Yeah, that's much better, bro.

Cutter: If Tess could see you now.

Wes: Who is this Tess broad? Is she hot? Because I am in some need of some serious female companionship, if you know what I'm saying. You want to set me up with her?

Cutter: That might be a little difficult.

Wes: What, you're into her? That's cool. I'm sure there's a lot of girls to go around, right? So let's get going.

Brody: Yeah, you're right. You know what? Let's go. Just you and me, like the good old days. I'll drive.

Cutter: Let's, I think, stay right here.

Brody: Yeah? And do what?

Cutter: Not take our friend to St. Ann's.

Wes: The place sounds lame.

Cutter: Oh, it is.

Wes: Ok, well, you two ladies figure it out. I got to go take a leak.

Cutter: Don't leave the seat up.

Clint: I think you know what I'm going to say.

Joey: I need to hear you say it.

Clint: Aubrey Wentworth--and I doubt that's her name--is a grifter, a con artist, and she and Cutter are no more brother and sister than you and the clock on the wall. They're lovers, and they targeted you in Europe, and they set out to gain your trust so they could fleece you for as much money as they possibly could. And the footage that you saw on that jump drive from Kelly--there they were. The two of them were planning what they were going to do, and they were groping each other for good measure. But then they caught on, and they pulled a switch, and what you saw was their altered version. Now, I still had a copy of the original in my safe. In fact, at one point in time, you were holding it in your hands. Do you remember that?

Joey: You practically begged me to watch it.

Clint: And then Aubrey stepped in. You remember. And she goaded you into destroying it.

Joey: Why did you let her do that?

Clint: It didn't really matter, because you weren't ready to find out what Aubrey really is--a professional thief. Joey, you've been conned.

Aubrey: I don't know how it happened. I fell in love with my husband.

Rama: Well, it could be worse.

Aubrey: How? Cutter told Joey that he only married Tess for the money and the family could have her back for a price.

Rama: Gosh. We do have a problem. Joey's definitely going to realize that you were in on the scam.

Aubrey: I can't lose him, not now.

Rama: You have one thing in your favor.

Aubrey: What?

Rama: You love him, and once you tell him that, he'll believe you because it's true.

Aubrey: Oh, I hope so. Cutter actually promised not to implicate me.

Rama: Well, he must have kept his promise, then.

Aubrey: Why do you say that?

Rama: Because if he told Joey about your involvement, Joey would be here right now, and it would not be pretty.

Joey: I feel so stupid. I mean, you--you warned me. Kelly warned me. Oh, my God. Kelly. Oh, my God. The way I treated her. Dad, I hurt her.

Clint: Son, you were played.

Joey: Because I'm a fool.

Clint: Come on now. I just don't think it is foolish to trust people and believe in people. But what you've got to do is you've got to take your time. Investigate people before you commit yourself. Now, having said that, don't throw out the baby with the bathwater because, Joey, you got a good and generous heart, and not all people do. You've just got to learn to protect it.

Joey: Yeah. Well, I'm not gonna need it where I'm going.

Clint: Where's that?

Joey: To put an end to Aubrey. To apologize to Kelly.

Marty: You stole the tape from my therapy session? That violates patient confidentiality. I could bring you up on charges.

Natalie: And what do you think the court's gonna do when they find out you altered DNA results? What do you think John's gonna do?

Marty: John is no longer your concern. He's mine.

Natalie: Oh, right, yeah. So why is he off with Kelly?

Marty: Kelly is no longer an issue.

John: Hey. Hey. Kelly.

Marty: Time's up, Natalie. I have a party to prepare, and I'm sure there's many things you need to get done at home.

Natalie: Actually, I'm gonna stay right here, Marty, and wait for John to show up, and then I'm gonna play him this tape.

Marty: No. You can't do that.

Natalie: Watch me.

Marty: What about Brody?

Natalie: What about him?

Marty: He'll lose Liam. It'll kill him.

Natalie: He'll get through it, and I'll help him.

Marty: Family means everything to Brody. He's just lost Jessica and Ryder, and now you're gonna have him lose Liam? He already went to St. Ann's when he kidnapped Shane Morasco. This will put him right back there.

Natalie: He's stronger than that.

Marty: And you're willing to take that chance? Just leave things the way they are. You have Liam. You have Brody. You can keep him. Let me have John, because I can make him happy.

Natalie: John doesn't love you, Marty.

Marty: Yes, he does. We had dinner.

Natalie: Because he feels sorry for you. He feels bad about what happened with Cole, and he knows that you've been going through a hard time, so he's just being nice. That's it. And I am not gonna lie to John anymore, and I'm not gonna lie to Brody.

Marty: Ha. Well, that's a shame. But then again, you've always been rather selfish.

Natalie: Is that so?

Marty: Yes, it is, and now it's too late. John will be here any minute, and I need that wine to breathe, so...let's just make this quick.

Dorian: Off you go. Where is it that you live these days--the Minute Man Motel? I have a suggestion. Why don't you take this cab straight to the bus station. My treat, and I'll throw in a bit more. Oh.

Echo: I'm not leaving town.

Dorian: And why would you want to stay? You don't have a job. You've lost Charlie. Your grandson and son won't speak to you once they find out what you've done. Why stay?

Echo: To get even with you.

Dorian: I'm touched, but from the bottom of a martini glass?

Echo: You just watch and see, Madame Mayor.

Aubrey: What am I supposed to do, Rama? I did not expect this to happen. I actually love him.

Rama: Ok, so fight for him. After all, what have you done wrong? Nothing. He's lucky to have you, babe.

Aubrey: Oh, yeah. I'm sure he'll be totally thrilled with the whole "sleeping with Cutter" thing.

Rama: Oh, fidelity. Fidelity is so overrated.

Aubrey: Maybe to you. Definitely not to Joey.

Rama: Just make sure Joey never finds out.

Aubrey: And what if Cutter decides to tell him?

Rama: Stop him.

Aubrey: How?

Rama: Are you telling me that in all these years, Cutter has not told you any of his secrets? Come on, Aubrey. Blackmail him, darling. You're gonna need some leverage if this Tess plan backfires.

Aubrey: Insurance. Ok.

Rama: As for Joey, it's all good. He loves you. Now you love him. It's a happy ending.

Aubrey: Oh, I hope so.

Rama: Well, it better be, because if you're out on the street, I'm out on the street.

Clint: I know it's tempting to let Aubrey know that you're on to her, but you can't do that--not so long as Cutter is still married to Tess. We might need Aubrey to help get Jessie back.

Joey: So I'm just supposed to pretend?

Clint: Yeah, I know it's a lot to ask, but you have to beat Aubrey at her own game, Joey. For now, you play the loving husband. Your time will come, I promise you that, but first we've got to get your sister back.

Joey: You're right, Dad. You're right. You know, I'm really glad to have you back. Your heart may have taken a hit, but that brain of yours is still ticking, all right? And you're gonna be up and out of here in no time. I know it. Thanks, Dad. Look, I know it wasn't easy to watch me make a jerk out of myself. I just really hope I'm that patient with my kids someday.

Clint: You know something? I'm very proud of the man that you've become. Don't let this change you.

John: That's good. That's good. Hey, listen. You hang on. Hey, this is John McBain, all right? I need a bus to my apartment at the Angel Square Hotel, all right? We have a woman--she's been stabbed. She has a pulse, but it's weak. Hurry! Hurry.

Natalie: Careful, Marty. You might cut yourself.

Marty: Oh, don't worry about me. I'm actually really good with a knife. I did go to medical school.

Natalie: Ok, Marty, why don't you just put it down, ok? Before someone gets hurt.

Marty: Somebody's already been hurt.

Natalie: There's blood on the knife.

Marty: Ooh. Very observant.

Natalie: Whose--whose blood is it, Marty? What did you do?

Marty: Uh, let's just say that Kelly was as uncooperative as you.

Natalie: Kelly? Well, where is--where is she?

Marty: With God, I would think.

Natalie: You killed her?

Marty: Uh-huh. Which means I have nothing to lose.

Clint: I appreciate your discretion, Doctor.

Doctor: Mr. Buchanan, I will always respect patient confidentiality. However, the next time a family member asks me how you're doing, I'm going to have to tell them that I've been instructed not to discuss your case.

Clint: I know I can't put this off forever, but I'll tell them at the right time. But for now, this is just between us. Nobody needs to know that I'm dying.

Aubrey: Hey, you.

Joey: Hey. Nigel told me I'd find you here.

Aubrey: How's your dad?

Joey: Good. Good.

Aubrey: Next time you visit him, I want to come with you, ok?

Joey: Oh, no, no. That's not necessary. No. I know the two of you don't really get along.

Aubrey: Well, I'd like to change that. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to choose between your father and me.

Joey: Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about that because there is no contest. What are you drinking, Rama?

Rama: Can you ask Cristian to make me a Delhi belly?

Joey: Of course, I can.

Aubrey: And you know what I like.

Joey: Yes, I do.

Rama: See? You have nothing to worry about. Joey loves you.

Aubrey: Now I just have to take care of Cutter.

Cutter: How long does it take for a man in a woman's body to drain the dragon?

Brody: Wes, you ok in there?

Cutter: I can call the front desk. Hey, you're gonna pay for that.

Brody: She's gone. She went out the window.

[Music playing]

Wes: Mind if I join you?

Aubrey: Tess?

Wes: The name's Wes. And I'm a sucker for the pretty ladies. Mind if I buy you two a drink?

Dorian: I do not want anything like that happening again. I'm the ma--I'll be getting back to you. Hello, Joe. Out for a night on the town with your wife?

Joey: Yeah, yeah. Just getting her all set up. Is Kelly here?

Dorian: No. I believe she has other plans.

John: It's gonna be ok. Ambulance is on its way. All you got to do is hang on. Hey, there you are. Shh. Hey. I'm right here. I'm right here. What happened? Who did this to you?

Kelly: M--Marty.

Natalie: Uh!

Marty: Uh!

[Natalie and Marty screaming]  

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