OLTL Transcript Tuesday 4/26/11

One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 4/26/11


Episode # 10924

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Gisele

Blair: So you want to tell me what kind of problem that you thought you had, but you don't anymore?

Starr: The kind that comes to town and tries to hook up with its ex-boyfriend.

Blair: James' ex?

Starr: Her name is Deanna -- Deanna the dumper of James, "down on her luck" Deanna.

Blair: So Deanna dumped James, not the other way around. That could be a problem.

Starr: Not anymore because now she's "done and gone" Deanna.

James: Doesn't really matter why you broke up with me.

Deanna: So you don't care anymore.

James: I just don't see what difference it makes. I moved on.

Deanna: You still should know the truth. James, the whole thing, it wasn't what you thought it was. When I said good-bye to you, that was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

James: So why did you?

Deanna: Because of your father. He forced me. No. I know how it sounds.

James: Yeah, unbelievable. Come on. Let's go.

Deanna: James --

James: No, Deanna. Give me a break. My dad was never able to make you do anything you didn't want to do.

Deanna: He found a way.

Aubrey: Hey, babe, why don't you go home and get some rest?

Joey: I'm fine.

Aubrey: No. You're not. You're exhausted. You need a couple hours to recharge.

Joey: I need to stay here with my father, all right? Kevin and Cord are stuck in London with B.E. Mom is M.I.A. Natalie is at home with Liam. That leaves me. Unless, of course, Tess shows up.

Tess: Oh, look at this sweet, sweet ride, oh, and it comes in Russian red. Oh, just looking at it makes me twitch. What's the matter? You don't like fast cars? You got the name for one. What are you gonna buy with your half of the Buchanan loot, a new personality?

Ford: All I give a damn about right now is getting custody of my son.

Tess: Oh, you think that's what you want, but you're gonna change your mind come toddler time.

Ford: Would you quit it and focus on what we need to do here? We need to be on top of our game for this judge.

Tess: Chillax. I have everything under control.

Ford: Yeah. Well, you'll forgive me if I don't share your confidence. Maybe I would if I bought your story about you having a secret weapon.

Echo: Charlie, I'm back, and you'll never guess what. I got takeout I got from the swollen sow. I got the ribs and all the fixings.

Niki: Man, this dress is ugly. So are you.

Echo: What in the name --

Niki: What's the matter? You never seen an alter before, huh?

Blair: Well, it sounds to me like you took care of business, little girl.

Starr: Mm, but I didn't have to do much. Sort of worked itself out before it got ugly.

Blair: Hmm, let me guess. James said, "Deanna, take a hike. I'm spoken for, so don't even try."

Starr: He probably said something like that, but Deanna swore up and down that she didn't come here looking to get back together with him.

Blair: You believe her?

James: I'm sorry, Dean, but this story, it's not adding up, ok? You show up out of nowhere a year after you told me you never cared about me. You dumped me, and now you're here blaming it on my dad? Are you kidding me?

Deanna: I know he's not here to defend himself, and I'm not trying to speak ill of the dead, but it's the truth.

James: Say whatever you want about the bastard -- I don't care -- but why didn't you come to me a year ago?

Deanna: There was no way I could.

James: Ok. You know what? Save it. Just forget it because I don't want to hear it. I don't want you messing with my life when it's starting to get good again.

Deanna: Just listen. Let me explain everything. If you don't believe me or you don't care, I'll walk away and never bother you again. At least this way, you'll get an answer to your questions. You knew something was up when I broke up with you. Come on. Don't you remember?

James: I remember a lot of things.

[Socket wrench clicking]

Deanna: Hey, you.

James: Hey.

Deanna: Hey.

James: What are you doing? I'm all grungy.

Deanna: Good -- because I'm kidnapping you before your dad shows up with another job for you to do.

James: It's too late.

Deanna: Oh, come on. He's got you boosting again?

James: I know. I know, Deanna, but it's not gonna be like this forever, ok? Look. I'm gonna get out of this life, and when I do, I'm gonna take you with me.

Deanna: Shh. I know you will.

James: Come here.

Eddie: Well, well. Look who it is -- the Nubian princess in "Jungle Fever." Ha ha ha!

James: I'll always regret letting my dad talk to you that way.

Deanna: I never let him get under my skin, at least not until that day.

Joey: Thank you for staying with me all night.

Aubrey: You're my husband. I love you. I want to be by your side. I wouldn't leave it.

Natalie: Hey, Cutter.

Cutter: Hey. Sorry, guys. Didn't want to disturb you.

Joey: It's ok. Hey, how you doing?

Natalie: Oh, I just want to see Dad.

Joey: Sure, sure. Just brace yourself.

Aubrey: Joey is really hurting.

Cutter: Well, it's a good thing you're here 24/7 to comfort him.

Aubrey: If you were in his shoes, I would do the same thing for you.

Cutter: Why don't I believe you?

Natalie: Still hasn't woken up?

Joey: No.

Natalie: The doctors saying anything?

Joey: That he's stable.

Natalie: Nothing else?

Joey: Well, the cardiologist is gonna take him for some tests, and hopefully, they'll know what's going on by then. I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you couldn't get a sitter.

Natalie: Brody. Brody switched his shift. He got the afternoon off. Where's Mom?

Joey: I haven't seen her.

Natalie: Really? Maybe she had another run at Tess.

Tess: You really think I'd lie about having a secret weapon?

Ford: Oh, I think you'd lie about anything.

Tess: Ford, that hurts.

Ford: Well, if you won't tell me what it is, how am I supposed to know that it even exists?

Tess: Well, what you don't know you can't screw up, but knowing you, I'm sure you'll find a way.

Ford: Hey, I'm not the one flirting with disaster here. I've done nothing but bust my ass to make sure that this works. So I think I have a right to know what you've got hidden up your sleeve.

Tess: Listen. All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and let her do her job.

Ford: Wait. Your secret weapon is a her?

Tess: In the loosest sense of the term, yes.

Ford: All right. Well, where is she?

Tess: Oh, she'll be here soon.

Ford: The hearing is about to start.

Tess: Ok. I'll call her. Move.

Ford: All right. Then I guess I'll call my mom and check up on Ryder.

[Telephone ringing]

Tess: Come on, Niki. Pick up. Don't tell me you have something better to do.

[Cell phone rings]

Niki: Eh. Cool! Let's see. You got, yep, biscuits. You got ribs. It has cole slaw.

Echo: How did you get in here? Viki!

Niki: Yeah. Not so much. Ahh. All right. I'll spell it for you. You take the "V," and you replace it with an "N." Got it?

Echo: My God, you're not Viki. You're Niki Smith.

Niki: Oh, my God, you're not as dumb as you look. Mm. Mm.

Tess: It's almost time. Where are you? Don't forget, we had a deal. You do me this one little favor, and we're even, but if you screw me on this, you will lose your freedom so fast. You will end up back at St. Ann's in Tess Brennan's padded cell. You got me, Niki?

Ford: Excuse me. Did you just say Niki?

Niki: Oh --

Echo: Is it really you, Niki?

Niki: Yeah. Well, you can call me Nicole. I'm calling you home-wrecking slut. Echo DiSavoy? It's like the most made-up name I ever heard of. Some freakin' countess --

Echo: Charlie?

Niki: Hey, where's the bibs?

Echo: Where's Charlie?

Niki: I don't know. Drinking? Moping? Who cares? I didn't come for Charlie. I came for you.

Echo: What for?

Niki: Well, if you think it's to thank you for setting me free, you got another thing coming. Of course, it was your affair with Charlie that kind of pushed Viki right over the edge.

Echo: Then what are you doing here?

Niki: I don't know. Maybe I came for revenge, huh? What do you think, huh? You know, Echo, the only reason I exist is to protect Miss Viki from pain, and you caused her a lot of pain, didn't you?

Echo: I'm calling Charlie.

Niki: I don't think you're gonna do that because if you did, the consequences would be consequential.

Starr: Maybe I was a little insecure when I found out James' ex was in town.

Blair: Come on. It happens to the best of us.

Starr: And that little voice in my head got even worse when I found out that Deanna was crashing at James'.

Blair: Back it up here. Crashing at his place?

Starr: Oh, no. It was just for one night.

Blair: Well, how insensitive can he be?

Starr: Mom, it wasn't like that.

Blair: Letting his ex stay with him?

Starr: Ok. She had no cash, nowhere else to go, and --

Blair: I don't care.

Starr: I know. You have heard it all before, but James swore that there was nothing else to it, and I trust him.

Blair: Do you trust her?

Starr: Hell no.

Deanna: Nothing Eddie said phased me. It was what happened later that changed everything.

James: All right, come on. I dare you to keep talking to Deanna like that.

Eddie: Excuse me?

Deanna: He's not worth it. Let's go.

Eddie: Go? My boy ain't going nowhere until he meets his quota.

James: Maybe I'm done stealing for you.

Eddie: Oh, yeah? Huh?

James: Get off!

Eddie: You'll think you're done when I say you're done, all right? Now go make it foreign, but not Korean, ok?

Deanna: James, wait. Touch James again, and I'm calling the cops.

Eddie: Be nice. Yeah. I see that James has gotten feisty since you been slinking around.

Deanna: You know what? He's standing up for himself. It doesn't matter how much you try to intimidate him. You know and I know he's not gonna be your errand boy forever.

Eddie: Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do, ride off into the sunset on your broke ass?

Deanna: Wouldn't you like to know.

Eddie: Come here. James is mine, all right, and you're through, but don't worry. I know just how to occupy your time.

James: Deanna, what did that son of a bitch do to you? Did he hurt you?

Aubrey: I refuse to stand here and fluff your ego while Joey's father is in there fighting for his life.

Cutter: Ain't my ego that needs fluffing, sweetheart.

Aubrey: Charming.

Cutter: That's fine, though. You play the happy housewife. Enjoy it while you still can.

Aubrey: What does that mean?

Cutter: Well, while you were playing Mother Teresa, I found out that the circle of people that know everything about us just expanded past Clint, Rama, and Tess.

Aubrey: Who? Who else knows?

Cutter: Just the one person who would love to tell your poor Joey, blow you out of the water -- Kelly Cramer.

Joey: Great. So Mom had another run-in with Tess.

Natalie: Yeah, just last night. I went over to Ford's so that I could give Tess a piece of my mind for leaking that photo of Charlie and Echo to "Access Llanview," but Tess wasn't there, so I had to settle for tearing into Ford instead.

Joey: How'd that go?

Natalie: How do you think? That guy is just wrapped in excuses. When I got home, Tess was there.

Joey: With Mom.

Natalie: Sort of.

Tess: Were you eavesdropping on my phone call?

Ford: Yeah. I was. Now tell me what's going on. I heard you say "Niki."

Tess: No. I said "Viki" with a "V."

Ford: No. I distinctly heard "Niki" with an "N."

Tess: Then you need to see a doctor with a "D" because I clearly said --

Ford: Tell me what's going on right now.

Tess: You know, when you stop whining, you are quite attractive.

Ford: That's it. I'm calling Natalie.

Tess: Ok. Fine. Ugh. I was leaving a message for Niki. The bitch is back.

Natalie: I heard arguing in the kitchen, and when I went in, there was Tess kind of roughing up Mom.

Joey: Was Mom hurt?

Natalie: No. No. She was holding her own. I guess that's what happens when she's channeling Niki.

Ford: So Viki turned into Niki?

Tess: Well, you remember the other night when you were getting all up in my grill about how I came to be.

Ford: Yeah. I remember how terrible everything sounded.

Tess: Ok. Stop getting mushy with me. It got me thinking, and I went to go pay the Vikster a visit, you know, to reminisce about the bad, old times, and things got a little tense.

Ford: How tense?

Tess: She said some things. I might have said some things. Viki couldn't hack it. Niki sure could.

Joey: Mom was channeling Niki?

Natalie: She was dressed up pretending to be her.

Joey: Why?

Natalie: Well, a while back when Bess got really out of control, Mom broke through by pretending to be Jean Randolph, who's a lot like Bess, and Mom thought she would give it a shot, trying to talk to Tess as Niki, but Tess saw right through it. What?

Joey: Well, it's just, are you sure Mom was pretending?

Echo: Are you threatening me?

Niki: No. It's not a threat. It's a promise. When I make a promise, I keep it.

Echo: Well, maybe I'll take my chances.

Niki: Yeah. Don't forget about the consequences.

Echo: What consequences?

Niki: From ratting me out to Charlie, huh? Ok. Number one, your precious Chuckles goes running back to rescue Miss Viki, and he decides to stay because he feels so guilty because it's all his fault, and where does that leave you, huh? Here in this rat's nest with your ugly dress, your ugly face, all alone.

Echo: Well, that's a chance I'm gonna have to take.

Niki: Yeah? You ain't heard reason number two yet. That would be a really dangerous move. So what do you say, huh?

Echo: Well, I don't think in my right mind, I could let Niki Smith just out there running around wild.

Niki: Right mind? You ain't got a right mind.

Echo: I am not keeping this from Charlie.

Echo's voice: I want your silence. Charlie believes that you tricked both of us into thinking Rex was his son, and I want it to stay that way.

Niki: Reason number two. Gotcha.

Starr: Why am I such a paranoid bitch?

Blair: You are not!

Starr: No. I really, really am. I mean, Deanna comes into town. She has no cash, no place to stay, no one to help her except for James, and what's the first thing I think of? She wants James back.

Blair: Well, sweetheart, anything is possible.

Starr: And that gives me the right to try to keep them apart.

Blair: From what you said earlier, it sounds like you really haven't done anything.

Starr: See, that's not exactly true. When I found out that Deanna was staying with James, I insisted that she stay at La Boulaie instead.

Blair: Do not beat yourself up about being suspicious, especially after what Hannah did to you and Cole.

Starr: So now every girl that I meet wants to steal my boyfriend?

Blair: Maybe just this one.

James: Deanna, did my dad touch you?

Deanna: Hell no. I wouldn't let him.

Deanna's voice: Let go of me or I'll scream.

Eddie: Oh, must you? Really, all I want to do is have a little chat.

Deanna: I've got nothing to say to you.

Eddie: Well, that's no reason not to have a conversation. I will talk, and you will listen. Now, what was I -- oh, yes. I found out something about you that you probably don't know but I think you probably would want to know, and I really want to tell you.

Deanna: What the hell are you talking about?

Eddie: Deanna -- what is the one thing you've always wanted? Your mother.

James: Your mom gave you up when you were a baby.

Deanna: I never knew her. All I ever wanted was to find my mom, find out why she left me, and there was your dad offering me this chance.

James: And only if you broke up with me.

Natalie: You think when I saw Mom dressed up as Niki that she actually was Niki?

Joey: I'm just still trying to figure all this out. When was the last time you saw her?

Natalie: I just talked to her on the phone.

Joey: Ok. I haven't seen her, either, and as far as I know, no one has. You know what? I know that she and Dad have had problems in the past, but, Nat, she hasn't even checked in.

Natalie: No. No, no. It's not possible. I mean, Tess is the one who called Mom out. She said, "Nice try, but I know you're playing."

Joey: Maybe Tess was covering for her.

Natalie: No. Tess hates Niki.

Joey: Maybe she needed Niki for some reason.

Natalie: Like what?

Joey: I can only think of one thing -- Ryder.

Ford: You all right?

Tess: Why wouldn't I be?

Ford: I don't know. Just everything that happened with Niki, it was --

Tess: I've dealt with worse. After all, I've seen you naked.

Ford: Sorry I cared. Will you just tell me what Niki has to do with Ryder, please?

Tess: Haven't you figured it out yet? Niki doesn't want Ryder. I mean, look at the lengths she went to to avoid taking care of Jessica. She wants us to get Ryder, and that's exactly what she's going to tell the judge in her very bestest Viki impersonation.

Ford: So Niki is gonna throw the case.

Tess: Bingo.

Ford: Well, she's not here, and you can't reach her. So you want to tell me, if she's so anxious to get rid of Ryder, where is she?

Echo: What is that?

Niki: Don't recognize the sound of your own hiss?

Echo: How?

Niki: Your buddy Clint is not as stupid as you are. He taped your little conversation, didn't he? Remember Clint, the other husband you tried to steal from Viki?

Echo: He told me he wouldn't tell anyone that I knew the truth, and he'd never give that to you.

Niki: Never said he did. Point is, I got it.

Echo: Give it to me.

Niki: Oh, not a chance. I'm keeping this a little alter insurance, make sure you stay out of my hair. I'm warning you.

Echo: Oh, you're warning me?

Niki: Yeah. Sounds like it.

Echo: Well, I'm warning you. You give it to me, or I'm gonna take it from you.

Niki: So afraid. Try it.

Echo: Get ready to go down.

Blair: Sweetheart, I do not want to encourage you to be suspicious of anyone, but I do not want you to get your back up on any woman that looks at you funny, all right? You have really great instincts. I want you to listen to them.

Starr: You think so?

Blair: Yes. There are only two reasons that a woman goes looking for her ex that she dumped. She's either desperate or she wants him back.

Starr: Well, it doesn't matter anymore. She's leaving, and that girl is out of my hair.

Blair: Good.

James: Yeah, but how could my dad know anything about what happened to your mom?

Deanna: I didn't believe it, either. I'd given up looking for my mom before I even met you. Child welfare had lost the file of the lawyer who put me into foster care, but somehow, your dad tracked him down. He refused to give me the information until I broke up with you.

Eddie: I've been patient. I've let you two dillydally, but fun is over, all right? I need my number-one earner focused on his work.

Deanna: I am not giving James up. I love him.

Eddie: And Mommy? Don't you love her, too? Honey, listen to me for real. What if she's in trouble, huh? What if she needs you? I mean, who's to say that she ever really wanted to give you up in the first place? I mean, what if she is out there somewhere right now looking for you just like you're looking for her? Oh, sweetheart there's a way, one way to find her. Come on. There'll be other boys. I mean, the point is, you've only got one -- mother, huh?

James: Hey, I made a decision. Baby, I'm not gonna do it anymore -- no more stealing, no more letting my dad push me around.

Deanna: Yeah? Get real, James.

James: No, no. I mean it. I'm done. I'm leaving. I want you to come with me.

Deanna: Why would I go anywhere?

James: What do you mean? Hey, that's what we talked about. You said there's nothing here for you anymore.

Deanna: Oh, I've got nothing with you, either. You've been making the same decision to leave your dad ever since we met, and I'm supposed to buy you're for real this time.

James: Yeah.

Deanna: No. What makes now so different from all the other times you promised to change your life and you didn't?

James: Wait, Deanna. Because I just love you. I'm doing this for you, for us.

Deanna: No. There is no us, not anymore. I don't love you. How could I love a spineless punk like you, huh?

James: What?

Deanna: I want something more out of life, and I'm gonna get it. Look at you. You're just dead weight.

James: Deanna, stop.

Deanna: No. Don't talk to me. We're done. Leave me alone.

Eddie: Ho ho ho! Slap! Oh, my dear, mm, I have seriously misunderestimated you. James will be scraping his heart up off the floor for years to come.

Deanna: Yeah? You got something for me?

Eddie: Ooh, do I, but for now, uh, here you go. That's the man's number, all right? Good luck finding the mother that didn't want you.

James: Was it worth it? Did you find your mom?

Aubrey: You're wrong. If Kelly knew anything, she would go straight to Joey.

Cutter: She had a change of heart. She's not gonna stand in our way.

Aubrey: Right.

Cutter: That's what she said last night.

Aubrey: You were with Kelly last night?

Cutter: I was waiting for Tess.

Aubrey: Even better.

Cutter: Yeah. Kelly got the whole scoop from Clint -- we're not brother and sister, we're a couple, and we're scamming Joey.

Aubrey: And we're supposed to believe that she's just gonna let us get away with taking Joey for a ride, stealing all his money?

Cutter: To hear her tell it, we're gonna self-destruct before we see one red cent.

Aubrey: Oh, really? Ok, and does she have a theory on how this is gonna happen?

Cutter: Yeah. She thinks your feelings for Joey are gonna get in your way. You don't have any feelings for Joey, right?

Natalie: So you think that Tess and Niki have some plan for Ryder.

Joey: Why else would the two of them throw in together?

Natalie: We don't know that yet, you know? Mom could still be Mom. Mom's alters haven't made a peep in years. For her to split, she'd have to be under a lot of pressure.

Joey: Like losing Charlie to Echo, Jessica to Tess, and standing to lose Ryder, too? I have to go find Mom.

Natalie: Joey, if you're right and Mom is Niki and she's working with Tess, there's only one place they would be.

Joey: Ryder's custody hearing.

Tess: Niki will be here.

Ford: What makes you so sure?

Tess: Because she owes me, ok? She knows that the only reason Jessica dreamed me up in the first place was because of what she let happen to me, and if that's not enough, if she doesn't come through for me now, she knows I'll out her.

Ford: Unless somebody else catches on to her first.

Echo: Give it to me, you bitch.

Niki: Not a chance, slut.

Echo: Stop calling me that. Oh! Ooh --

Niki: Got it.

Echo: Yeah?

Joey: Aubs, I have to check out for a little while. I have to head to court.

Aubrey: What's going on?

Joey: Tess might be up to something.

Natalie: We can take my car.

Joey: No. You need to stay here with Dad.

Natalie: No. Joey, if you're right about what's happening, then you're gonna need some backup.

Aubrey: I'll stay with your dad.

Joey: You sure?

Aubrey: Yes. I'll call you as soon as anything changes.

Joey: You're the best. I'm praying that we're wrong.

Natalie: Yeah. Me, too, but if we're not wrong, I'm praying that we're not too late.

[Knocks on door]

Charlie: Echo! What's going on in there? You all right?

Niki: Ha ha ha!

James: Deanna, what happened when you found that lawyer my dad told you about? Did you finally find your Mom?

Deanna: James. James, are you here?

Eddie: Ooh, look who's back.

Deanna: You son of a bitch.

Eddie: What? Mommy not all you had hoped for?

Deanna: No. I went to your lawyer. He wouldn't tell me anything, not unless I paid him $20,000.

Eddie: Don't tell me you haven't been saving your pennies.

Deanna: You tricked me.

Eddie: No. I held up my end of the bargain.

Deanna: The deal is over. I'm telling James the truth.

Eddie: Well, maybe first, you should tell me where he is, or didn't buddy boy say good-bye? Because he stole out under cover of darkness, but not before he robbed me.

Deanna: Liar! You tell me where he is.

Eddie: I don't know, but my people are looking for him.

Deanna: Where is he?

Eddie: Let me tell you this. When they do find him, there will not be enough left of him for you to love.

James: I'm so sorry for what my dad did to you.

Deanna: He did it to both of us.

James: I just don't understand why you didn't come to me. Why didn't you tell me what was going on?

Deanna: I wanted to. I couldn't risk your dad finding out, and I didn't think you'd understand.

James: Why not?

Deanna: You were so mad at your mom for leaving you, I thought you'd tell me not to go looking for mine. I was gonna come right back to you, anyway. As soon as I got what I needed out of that lawyer, I was gonna tell you everything and hoped you'd take me back, but by then, you were already gone.

James: I was here in Llanview with Starr.

Blair: So you're really at peace with the situation?

Starr: There are still some questions that I wish I had the answers to.

Blair: Like what?

Starr: Like why Deanna broke up with James in the first place, and not just broke up. She ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped all over it. He can barely even talk about it, Mom. She really messed him up, and someone can only do that to you if you really love them.

Blair: You know everybody has a past, right, but if it's gnawing at you and you want to find out what it is, you should talk to James about it. Tell him that. In fact, you should go over there right now and get the answers that you're looking for.

Aubrey: I don't want to talk about it.

Cutter: You're in trouble, Aubrey. I've been telling you this for months. We need to cut our losses. There's just too many variables. Too many people know about it.

Aubrey: We'll deal with it.

Cutter: How?

Aubrey: Well, Rama is a nonissue. She's not gonna rat us out, and you're dealing with Tess, aren't you?

Cutter: So now I have your blessing.

Aubrey: Kelly is a threat, no matter what she says, so we just need to make sure that we don't fulfill her prophecy and self-destruct.

Cutter: What about Clint? What happens when he wakes up?

Aubrey: Do I have to think of everything?

Cutter: All right. Well, here's an idea. Clint is unconscious, on death's door. Wouldn't take too much to nudge him over the threshold.

Charlie: Echo, answer me.

Echo: Oh, Charlie, I'm sorry it took me so long to get to the door.

Charlie: I was worried. What's happening in here? It sounded like bloody murder.

Echo: No. I had the TV turned up really loud, and I was moving furniture around.

Charlie: Thought it was all bolted down.

Echo: No. I was just doing some spring cleaning, and you know how that stresses you out. Go. Get washed up for lunch. Go on. Just go wash your hands, ok? Yeah. There you go. Ok.

Niki: Sayonara, slut.

Echo: I need that recording.

Niki: Yeah. You sure do.

Charlie: What'd you get to go with the ribs? I'm starving.

Niki: Yeah. Me, too. Sorry, Chucky.

Echo: Nik -- Nik -- oh --

Charlie: Ah. Well --

Echo: Oh, yeah. Oh. Ah. I have something I have to tell you.

Charlie: What? Aw, come on. Did you forget the slaw?

Echo: No, no. It's something else, about your wife.

Ford: I can't believe you trusted our future to your mother's alter.

Tess: Shut up. I need to think.

Ford: Well, think fast because if we lose, I'm divorcing you, and then there's gonna be nothing standing between you and St. Ann's.

Tess: You know, even if Niki doesn't show up, we're still gonna end up on top, because the judge is never gonna give Ryder to a woman who can't even be here for the decision.

Ford: Well, there's no guarantee that we're gonna get custody, either. What if it comes out that Niki is in control and that you made it happen or that we conspired with her to throw this case? We need Niki.

Blair: Here you go. I will lock up, and then we'll head over to James' so you could talk to him.

Starr: No. I can't. That is an insecure move that a clingy girlfriend would make, and that's not me.

Blair: No. It's not.

Starr: You know what I want to do?

Blair: What?

Starr: I want to go see Dad in the hospital and tell him that I love him and let James say good-bye to Deanna in peace.

Deanna: I tried to find you, James, but I had no clue where to start, not until I read about what happened to your dad and found out you were in Llanview, Pennsylvania, of all places. So I hopped on a bus and came right here. It took me a while, but I finally got the guts to friend you on MyFace with that old laptop you gave me.

James: The one I found in that stolen car?

Deanna: I was trying to figure out if I stood a chance of getting you back.

James: Deanna, please --

Deanna: No. I know I ruined things between us, but don't tell me it's too late for us to start again. I didn't come all this way for money. I came for you. I still love you. I never stopped.

Aubrey: We are not murdering my father-in-law.

Cutter: Got to admit, get the added bonus of helping Joey get his inheritance quicker.

Aubrey: I'm gonna assume you're joking about that, and let's just be clear. I've never killed anyone for money or anything else. I'm not about to start now.

Cutter: I'll just do it myself. Plenty of people I could pin it on.

Charlie: Wh-what is it? Did something happen between you and Viki?

Echo: You could say that.

Tess: What's up, losers?

Joey: We're looking for Mom.

Tess: Well, she's not here, so you can run along.

Natalie: Mom is not anywhere, is she?

Tess: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't speak bimbo.

Ford: What are you talking about?

Joey: Admit it, Tess. Niki Smith is back.

Echo: She was here.

Charlie: Viki came by?

Echo: Yes -- Viki. We had a big fight. She said horrible things to me, and then she made threats. She said that she was gonna ruin my life.

Charlie: Doesn't sound like Viki at all --

Echo: You're right.

Charlie: But then I did hurt her pretty badly. Maybe she was just lashing out.

Echo: Charlie, am I gonna lose you?

Charlie: No, no, no. No. Nothing is gonna take me away from you, nothing and no one.

Niki: Don't be too sure, Chucky.

[Cell phone beeps]

Niki: Eh, keep your pants on, Tess. I'm on my way. I got a date with freedom.

James: Starr?

On the next "One Life to Live"...

Niki: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

[Keys jingle]

Viki: No. Oh, God, no.

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