OLTL Transcript Friday 4/8/11

One Life to Live Transcript Friday 4/8/11

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Episode # 10912

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By
Gisele

[Door slams]

Langston: Someone there? Oh, my God!

[Knocking on door]

Kelly: Working hard?

John: Hey.

Kelly: Hey. What you got there? Is that the file on Eddie Ford's real killer?

Brody: I bet you want your mom, huh? She knows how to make everything better. Diaper rash and boo-boos, and the big stuff, too.

[Liam fussing]

Brody: Even fights with Tess. Doesn't matter how bad it is, Natalie's got an answer for everything.

[Liam crying]

Natalie: So how's Dad doing?

Joey: I'll catch up with you guys. Now that he's cleared of killing Eddie Ford, pretty pleased. He's even being extra-nice to Aubrey.

Aubrey: Yoo-hoo. You're married, remember?

Rama: Well, so are you, but that doesn't stop you and Cutter.

Aubrey: Since when do you care? We're keeping you in the lap of luxury, aren't we? If you want it to stay that way, you need to keep Joey occupied. I need ten uninterrupted minutes with Cutter in the steam room to work on my--

Rama: Yes, the steam room. That's where I do all my best planning.

Aubrey: It's private.

Rama: Yeah? So no one hears you plan how to rob your husband's family of its fortune?

Aubrey: Yeah. The plan you sacrificed your husband to jail for.

Rama: That plan's not working.

Aubrey: No kidding. That's why it needs reworking. Or maybe we need a new one altogether.

[Steam hissing]

Cutter: So much for scamming my way into B.E. while the boss man's locked up. Time for a new angle.

Ford: Hey, I need that!

Tess: You need it like a hole in the head. Or a roll in your belly.

Ford: Excuse me?

Tess: Don't think I haven't noticed a new notch on your belt. Still working off the holidays, champ?

Ford: I'm gaining muscle mass.

Tess: Well, not that muscle. You're gonna have to work a little bit harder if you want to trick Langston into coming back to you.

Langston: [Screams] Get off of me! David?

David: Surprise!

Dorian: We're home! Oh, my darling. Oh! Ha ha ha! Oh!

Langston: Can't you guys come in the front door like regular people?

David: Hollywood people are not regular people.

Dorian: I apologize, honey, if we caught you off guard, but we didn't want to risk coming in the front door.

Langston: Why not?

Dorian: Because it would alert the paparazzi to our arrival. The paparazzi are lurking everywhere. I am, after all, the mayor and, well, they wanted to catch the newlyweds, you know, perhaps maybe not looking our best.

Langston: You're avoiding the paparazzi?

David: You would, too, if you just got off the airplane. I haven't had my daily teeth whitening yet.

Langston: I wasn't aware that there were photographers outside.

Dorian: Oh, well, I'm sure you had your nose buried too deeply in your studies.

David: Actually, looks like she had her nose buried somewhere else altogether.

Ford: Shut up about me and Langston.

Tess: I bet you're missing that action now, huh?

Ford: Give me half of that. Hey! I'm starving and there's nothing to eat.

Tess: Take a bite out of yourself. There's enough of that to go around.

Ford: I don't have to listen to this. I don't have to listen to this. I'm in the best shape of my life, you know.

Tess: I bet your eyeballs got a good workout with looking at yourself in the mirror 24/7.

Ford: Yeah? I've caught you looking more than once.

Tess: Eww! Barf. Like I'd want your juiced butt.

Ford: Hang on a second. I do not juice.

Tess: You fake and bake. You tweeze. You probably wax. I'm sure that some women are into this whole plastic look, but not me, ok? I need--uhh. Blood and sweat and stubble and heat. You just leave me cold. I need a real man.

[Cell phone ringing]

Ford: Is that real enough for you?

[Cell phone ringing]

Cutter: Tess, what happened? I thought I was supposed to see you last night. Why'd you stand me up?

Aubrey: Is the coast clear?

Cutter: Yes. I think we better make it quick. The 5 bucks I gave the towel guy to keep the other guests away won't last long.

Aubrey: $5.00?

Cutter: Sorry. It's all I had, on account of you taking your sweet time to relieve Joey of his wealth.

Aubrey: Hey, you agreed to switch to the long con.

Cutter: I think we might have a different idea of what long means.

Aubrey: I don't think so.

Cutter: Then how about we speed up the process of getting rich and getting back together?

Natalie: Well, that's good that Dad's easing up on Aubrey.

Joey: It's a start, I guess.

Natalie: Well, count your blessings. You could be raising a son all by yourself.

Joey: I'm really sorry that you're going through this, Natalie, but to be honest with you, I never really liked John to begin with.

Natalie: Ok, let's not go there. Otherwise you're going to get an earful of my thoughts on Kelly.

Joey: No. You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know how much John meant to you. I just want you to know, Natalie, that you're not alone.

Natalie: Thank you. Sometimes it feels like it.

Joey: Don't let it, ok? You have Mom, Dad, Kevin, and me. And Brody, too, right? I mean, he has stepped up, hasn't he?

Natalie: Yeah, Brody stepped up to the plate, more than you know. He's been great. Really great.

[Liam crying]

Natalie: I should go.

Joey: Ok. Call me anytime. I mean it, sis.

Natalie: Thank you.

Joey: What happened to Aubrey?

Rama: She left.

Joey: Left? Where did she go?

Rama: Off somewhere to stretch.

Joey: Ok, then I'm gonna go find her.

Rama: Oh, no, no, no, don't. You don't want to appear too clingy, do you?

Joey: It's just that our spin class is starting.

Rama: Spins? Who spins anyway? I mean, people lift weights now. Like him. Looks like he needs a spot. Come on.

[Liam fussing]

Brody: Come on, buddy. Tell Daddy what's wrong.

[Liam fussing]

Natalie: Am I interrupting?

Brody: No. You are right on time. He's not having any of what I'm selling this morning.

Natalie: Aww, come here. He's probably just hungry. Are you just hungry? As soon as I feed him, he'll calm down.

Brody: I'll let you guys get to it. You want that?

Natalie: Sure. Brody, wait. You don't have to work till later, right? Why don't you stay?

Brody: Stay?

Natalie: Yeah. Stay.

[Liam fussing]

Dorian: I thought you'd turned the page on that unfortunate chapter in your life called Robert Ford.

David: You ought to burn this whole book.

Langston: Give me that.

Dorian: Darling, we've only been gone a few short days, and you're already mooning over Ford? His MyFace page?

Langston: Ok, I was not mooning. I just clicked on his profile accidentally.

David: Like when Dorian accidentally clicked on my profile thousands and thousands of times while I was in that jail cell?

Dorian: I told you my track pad is very sensitive.

David: I'm not sure you want to talk about your track pad in front of--

Langston: Ok, what are you guys even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be shooting "Vicker Man: The David Vickers Buchanan Story"?

Dorian: Production has been temporarily halted.

Langston: Why? What happened?

David: Wardrobe malfunction. Me.

Dorian: But we're going to be up and running in a matter of a few days. So that's how long we've been gone, just a few days, so tell me absolutely everything, darling. I want to hear all about everything that we've missed.

Langston: Well, if you really want to know... read it and weep.

Kelly: So what's the real reason Nora dropped the charges against Clint? Do you have new evidence pointing to a new suspect?

John: Is that all I am to you now is some dude you come to when you need a lead on a story?

Kelly: What else would I have come for?

John: I knew it.

Kelly: So you're telling me that you really know nothing about a new suspect? That's what--that's not what's in the file there?

John: There is nothing in this file that's any interest to you. You look pretty.

Kelly: Why, thank you.

Dorian: "The district attorney's office has dropped all charges against the Buchanan Enterprises' CEO."

David: Lies! Pa and Step-Nora would never let me down.

Dorian: Well, they did.

Langston: But if Clint's innocent, then--

Dorian: I can promise you, my darling, that Clint is guilty. And my district attorney and my police commissioner have let him go.

David: Oh, they wouldn't!

Dorian: Oh, they did! It's quite obvious Bo and Nora only cared about protecting the Buchanan family name. They couldn't even prosecute a case like this, which is a slam dunk. I am going to fire them and get good people who will.

Langston: Do you have the power to do that?

Dorian: I'm the mayor.

Langston: Yeah, but what if Clint really didn't kill Eddie?

David: Oh, Buddha, please forgive her. She knows not what she says.

Dorian: Of course, Clint killed that cretin. There's an abundance of evidence that proves it. Besides, if he didn't, who did?

Marty: Sorry I barged in like that. Natalie told me you were here. She didn't tell me you had company.

Kelly: Hi. I didn't realize that you were--

Marty: Sane?

Kelly: Stopping by. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Marty: Yeah, me too, although I feel like I've been in a bit of a time warp. A lot has changed since I went away. I had no idea the two of you were together. Does Natalie?

Natalie: So I guess all we can hope for is that the judge rules in your favor, and that we can somehow convince Ford to have Tess committed.

Brody: Totally.

Natalie: He's all conked out now.

Brody: Well, can't blame him, I guess. Must be really comfortable.

Natalie: Are you ok?

Brody: Yeah, sure. Why?

Natalie: Oh, goodness. I don't know. You just seem kind of spooked.

Brody: Well, when you told me to stick around, I didn't realize you were gonna be breastfeeding.

Natalie: Why? Does that bother you?

Brody: Heck, no. It's beautiful. It's totally natural. It's super healthy for the baby. It's great. It's mother na... um...

Natalie: You were saying?

Aubrey: So, I assume you're caught up on the latest?

Cutter: Has Clint dropped any hints that the truce is over now that the authorities are off his back?

Aubrey: Not unless being super sweet to me counts.

Cutter: It does. He's setting you up for a fall.

Aubrey: I thought of that. What can we do about it?

Cutter: Wring Joey for all he's worth and cut him loose before he catches on.

Cristian: Thanks for the spot, but I'm fine on my own.

Joey: I know, it's just Rama here was worried.

Rama: It looks so heavy, I didn't want you to pull anything.

Cristian: I'm really careful.

Rama: Yeah, but I didn't want you to get hurt, that's all.

Cristian: It takes a lot to hurt me.

Rama: Did it hurt the other day when the police arrested you? Were they brutal?

Cristian: You heard about that, huh?

Rama: Yeah, it's all over "Access Llanview," but in a good way, Mr. Best Arms 2010.

Cristian: Yeah, that was random.

Rama: But completely well deserved. Anyway, I was worried about you and your girlfriend.

Cristian: You mean Kassandra Kavanaugh? She's not my girlfriend.

Rama: No?

Cristian: No. Don't get me wrong. She's a hottie, but trouble. Anyway, I smoothed things over at the police station, so everything's cool.

Rama: Oh, I'm so glad you didn't go to prison.

Cristian: Yeah, I'm sure you haven't heard too many good things about it from your husband. But I bet he's gotta be relieved you have a friend like Joey Buchanan looking out for you, though.

Rama: Yeah, Joey's been very-- Joey? Oh, gosh. Joey?

Joey: Aubrey?

Aubrey: Let's not be so rash. We are so close to the mother lode.

Cutter: No, we were close when Clint was facing life in prison and we had a clear shot at B.E. Now that he's in the clear, we are practically back to square one.

Aubrey: But we still have Joey.

Cutter: Who cares? Daddy big bucks knows all about us.

Aubrey: So what? If he was gonna say something, he would have done it already.

Cutter: If you're willing to just stay around and wait and see if that happens, then that's fine. I'm moving on to Plan B.

Aubrey: And what's Plan B?

Ford: What were you saying about not liking this?

Tess: It's revolting.

Ford: Is this revolting?

Tess: Uh, disgusting.

Ford: And this?

Tess: Nasty.

Ford: How about this?

Tess: That's the worst.

Ford: No. I've saved the worst for last.

Dorian: I promise you, David, Clint Buchanan is going to pay for everything he has done. And our first salvo...is going to be "Vicker Man"!

David: All right! How are we gonna do that?

Dorian: Ok, in our movie, the Clint character is going to be portrayed as a vicious criminal psychopath with a terrible comb-over.

David: And erectile dysfunction.

Dorian: Ooh!

Langston: Ok. Won't all these script changes get you in trouble with the Writers Guild?

Dorian: Ha ha ha! Oh ha ha! We don't need no stinkin' Writers Guild. Ha ha!

David: Those hacks. Are you kidding me? They loved my rewrites on "Supermodel Crime Club." "Payback is a Stitch." "Crime Doesn't Sashay." Those were all mine, baby.

Langston: Yeah, it is really a shame that the world was deprived of a second season.

David: Right?

Langston: Well, at least they'll get another dose of it once "Vicker Man" hits the theaters. It will, won't it?

Brody: Natalie, uh...

Natalie: What's wrong?

Brody: Your, uh...breasts.

Natalie: Oh! So sorry. I guess they have a mind of their own sometimes.

Ford: Aah! Son of a bitch! You bit me!

Natalie: Sorry about that.

Brody: No, I'm the one who should be sorry.

Natalie: Brody, it's not like it's the first time.

Brody: Yeah, but before we were in bed, and we were drunk. Now it's more--never mind. Never mind.

Natalie: No, what? Tell me.

Brody: I don't know. Intimate.

Natalie: Brody, I think that we blew past that when we created Liam.

Brody: You know what, look. It's time for me to get to the gym. I know you have to get to work, so...

Natalie: Brody, wait. Take a gander.

Brody: What are you doing?

Natalie: Well, I'm not gonna stop breastfeeding. You're gonna be sticking around for a while, right? So get used to it.

Brody: I'm used to it. I'm used to it.

Natalie: 'Cause we're in this together, right?

Brody: All the way.

Ford: I'm bleeding!

Tess: Good. Serves you right. My eyes bleed every time I look at you without a shirt on.

Ford: Then don't look! Better yet, I'm just gonna get out of your sight.

Tess: Good. Where are you going?

Ford: Away from you!

Tess: The court's supposed to call any second with the decision on Ryder.

Ford: It would be almost worth it to lose just so I could cut you loose!

Tess: Well, the feeling's mutual.

[Door slams]

Tess: Huh. One missed call. One voice mail.

Aubrey: The plan is Joey.

Cutter: No, the plan was Joey. He isn't getting us anywhere.

Aubrey: He will.

Cutter: When Aubrey? Look at us. We're sneaking around some 3-star health club, trying to steal some time together. When I first got here, I was staying at The Palace. Now I'm staying at the Minute Man Motel. This is not us. We're fast cars, yachts, Cliffside villas.

Aubrey: We'll have all that again, I promise.

Cutter: We are no closer to getting rich and getting back together than we were months ago.

Aubrey: I just need a little more time.

Cutter: You took your best shot. Now I'm gonna take the reins. I got a new scam figured out. We can get it done in no time.

Aubrey: Really? Does this scam involve Tess, by any chance?

Cutter: Only in the way yours involves Joey. Got a problem with that?

Aubrey: You better believe I have a problem with that. Tess? My husband's whack-job sister?

Rama: Joey! Don't go in there.

Marty: Well, I'll have to assume that Natalie's in the dark about you two seeing each other. After all, Kelly is still standing.

Kelly: I'm gonna get going.

John: You don't have to do that.

Kelly: Actually, I do. I have a story to file. And since you're being so tight-lipped, I'll have to find my quote elsewhere. Ok?

John: Ok.

Kelly: Bye.

John: Bye.

Marty: You really meant what you said--you and Natalie were through. How long have you and Kelly been seeing each other?

John: It's probably best if we don't discuss my private life.

Marty: Of course, but sometimes it's unavoidable.

Rama: Joey, I thought you were spotting Cristian.

Joey: I think Cristian's doing just fine.

Rama: What are you doing here?

Joey: Looking for Aubrey.

Rama: In the men's steam room?

Joey: Yeah, I know. It's just I saw an attendant, and he said he saw her come this way.

Rama: He was wrong. I just saw her in the gym.

Cutter: You'd better get while the getting's good.

Aubrey: We need to finish our conversation.

Cutter: We pretty much covered everything.

Aubrey: But listen to me--

Cutter: It won't be long now. I'll take care of everything.

Joey: I really don't know why I can't find Aubrey. I know she was supposed to be around here somewhere.

Aubrey: There you are!

Joey: Aubrey, I was just looking for you.

Aubrey: Yeah, I was looking for you.

Joey: Did you start without me?

Aubrey: Yeah, just a little warm-up.

Joey: Ready for the main event?

Aubrey: Absolutely. I think I've put it off long enough.

[Mouthing thank you]

John: What have you got for me?

Marty: Something you really need to see.

Natalie: John, I've got that crime sc--

Brody: Hey, Cris.

Cristian: Hey, Brody. You're on a mission there, huh?

Brody: Been a rough couple days.

Cristian: Yeah, I heard about Tess.

Brody: Yeah. I just don't know what to do.

Cristian: I know what you're going through, man. Tess put my brother Antonio through hell.

Brody: Yeah, look how that turned out.

Cristian: Just gotta hang in there, bro.

Brody: I'm trying. It's not easy, though. Want to be in Tess' face 24/7, trying to get Jessica to come back. But every minute I'm with her, I'm away from Natalie and my son.

Natalie: Well, looks like the quacks at St. Ann's did a bang-up job with you. You're as obsessed with John as ever.

John: Come on, Natalie.

Natalie: This is like her third or fourth time being here since she was released from St. Ann's 24 hours ago.

Marty: Actually, I have a very good reason for being here.

Natalie: What's that? 'Cause there's no more secrets to tell, no more lives to ruin. Wait. Did you find another victim? Anyone I know?

Marty: Actually, I have something for John to see.

Natalie: Ok, what are you waiting for? Hand it over.

Marty: Yeah, but this isn't it. This is, um... must have pulled the wrong paper out. Here we go. This is confirmation that I made my appointment with Dr. Buhari today. I will, every day, give you one of those just as the court mandated.

Natalie: How responsible of you.

Marty: It is part of my getting better, just as apologizing to you and Brody was.

John: What does that mean?

Marty: I saw them last night with baby Liam. They have quite a beautiful family.

Brody: Natalie and Liam are my family now, too. I'm gonna take care of them. I have to, even if it means letting someone else take care of Jessica... for now.

[Cell phone rings]

Cutter: You're a hard girl to keep track of.

Tess: Yeah, I got your message. Sorry to leave you hanging the other night. I had an emergency.

Cutter: Is that what that was?

Tess: Yep, but it's over now. What are you up to?

Cutter: Just taking a steam at the gym. How about we meet up later?

Tess: What's wrong with now?

Cutter: Your brother is here and so is my sister.

Tess: The more the merrier. Save me a seat.

[Click]

Tess: Hey, where you going?

Ford: I'm dropping Ryder off at my mom's, and I'm going to the gym for a little while.

Tess: Awesome. I'll come with you.

Ford: Ha ha!

Tess: No, I'm serious.

Ford: No, I'm serious. I need a break from you.

Tess: But you're always saying how we should look like a normal couple. And normal couples go out in public together for the whole world to see. So let's go.

Ford: I guess it would be better to keep an eye on you instead of having you off causing trouble.

Tess: I'm driving.

David: Do I look better when I drink coffee with my right hand or my left hand?

Dorian: Your right side--

Langston: Hold on. Hello! Hello! Wait a minute. Who's gonna tell me what's really going on?

Dorian: There has just been a slight delay in production. Well, you know...it's Hollywood! Things get dropped, then they get picked up again, just like life.

David: Aw.

Langston: So it wasn't wardrobe malfunctioning?

Dorian: No, nothing quite so exciting. But David did decide to drop a little weight.

David: We canned the stupid director and the idiot writer.

Langston: What? Why?

Dorian: Creative differences.

David: The director kept telling me what to do, and the writer kept putting words in my mouth.

Dorian: Yes, and they kept taking my intelligent, constructive criticism as being controlling.

Langston: Mm-hmm. So, when "Access Llanview" reports on what happened, Phyllis Rose will say what, that the studio sided with a D-list commercial actor and a woman with no show biz experience?

David: "Sided" might be a strong word.

Dorian: The writer was not fired. The director was not fired. David was fired.

Langston: Ho!

David: Hey, you were thrown off the set.

Dorian: What, for the high crime of giving a few notes?

Langston: Hold on. You were fired from the movie about your own life?

David: I was fired from a movie about my life. "The Vicker Man" will live on.

Dorian: Because... David and I have decided we're going to produce our own movie.

Langston: Oh, really?

Dorian: Absolutely.

David: Are you kidding? My story has--our story has to be told.

Langston: I thought the studio owned the script.

Dorian: It doesn't matter. They can keep that script. We have David Vickers Buchanan, and we will get our own script.

Langston: Yeah, and who's gonna write it? Who's gonna want to work with you once word gets out about how much trouble you already caused?

Dorian: It'll have to be somebody special, somebody very creative, intuitive.

David: There are very few poets in the world who can capture the many moods of David Vickers Buchanan.

Dorian: Somebody who already has a deep understanding of our particular...

David: Quirks.

Dorian: Eccentricities. Ha ha! Someone...like you. Do you think she's all right? Langston.

David: No, don't interrupt her process. I've seen writers do this before. She's thinking. She's considering all the challenges that "The Vicker Man: The David Vickers Buchanan Story," has to offer. For example, how do I end the third act? Do I make a composite character out of Step-Nora and Alex Olanov? And what flaw, if any flaw, does the main character have?

Dorian: Or she just could be wondering what to order for lunch.

Langston: Ok, you two have completely lost your minds.

David: Why would you say something like that?

Langston: Please, I can't write a screenplay. I would have no idea what I was doing.

David: You'll fit right in in Hollywood.

Dorian: You're a wonderful writer. You wrote that charming musical last summer, which I thought was very insightful about Starr and Cole's relationship.

Langston: That was in high school. I'm in college now. I have classes, crazy homework. I barely have time to breathe.

Dorian: Take a leave of absence. This is the chance of a lifetime.

David: We're talking about Hollywood here. I mean, come on. The big sign, the star walk where all the stars are, where people walk. Think about all the guys you'll meet.

Langston: Oh, I get it. This is just a scheme to get me away from Ford, isn't it?

Tess: Please, stare much? Are you sorry that your little puppy can't come out to play?

Brody: Jessica, come on. You have to fight her.

Tess: Oh, Jessica's out to lunch, but I will give her the message. "Jessica, please come home. We love you. Yadda, yadda, yadda." Well, enjoy your creatine. I'm going to the spa. Mwah!

Joey: Jess?

Tess: Nice try. See you later, losers!

Aubrey: Listen, you know I don't completely understand the whole D.I.D. thing, but I know your sister's in there, just gathering her strength and biding her time till she's ready to come back out, and she will. She can't ignore her family forever.

Kelly: Did you just--

Joey: Tess. Not Jessica.

Kelly: I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say.

Aubrey: It's ok. I just did.

Joey: Enjoy your workout.

Kelly: Actually, I'm not here to work out. I'm here to talk to you.

Joey: I don't really know what we have to talk about.

Kelly: I'm doing a story on Clint's exoneration.

Aubrey: And you want to get a quote from Joey?

Kelly: I know that it is not your favorite subject, but you know the news business. I can't ignore the story. The evidence against your father, it was pretty damning. And I'm trying to get to the bottom of why Bo and Nora let him go.

Joey: Kelly, I--

Kelly: Did Clint know who did it and is covering for them, or does Bo and Nora have another suspect? Look, Clint won't talk to me. No one is saying anything.

Joey: Really? Not even your boyfriend?

Aubrey: You have a boyfriend?

Joey: Sure. John McBain.

John: I will see you when you check in tomorrow.

Natalie: I'm sure you'll be seeing her way before then.

Marty: And maybe he will. I figure if you two can work things out, then maybe so can we. Truly inspiring to see you two move on after such a terrible blow. You with Brody and John with Kelly. Gosh, I hope my future's as bright as yours.

Rama: Oh! You're still here?

Cristian: I couldn't leave without apologizing.

Rama: For what?

Cristian: For being so insensitive before, making you run off. I was trying to be supportive about your husband being in prison, and I ended up sticking my foot in my mouth.

Rama: No, you didn't.

Cristian: You don't have to say that, but I appreciate it. Anyway, I want you to know that I kind of know what you're going through. I've had my share of legal problems in the past, and it's always rough on your family. I bet you feel all this pressure to be strong, but at the same time you're beating yourself up, wondering if there was something more you could do to keep your husband from going to prison. Trust me, you're always going to feel that way. It wasn't your fault.

Rama: But it was my fault. I am the reason Vimal went to jail.

John: Thank you for the report. I'm sorry. Was there something else?

Natalie: I don't trust anything that comes out of Marty's mouth.

John: You don't have to.

Natalie: That's easy for you to say, because you're not worried about what she might do to Liam.

John: Don't say that. Don't say that again, all right? Tell you what, you stay away from her, I'll make sure she stays away from you.

Natalie: She could be blackmailing your shrink. Or maybe there is no shrink. Maybe she forged the letter.

John: That's easy enough to check out.

Natalie: Then let me run some tests.

John: Wait--

Natalie: What are you doing with this?

Aubrey: So, tell me, how long have you been dating John McBain?

Joey: A while now, right, Kel? But dating might be a little bit of a stretch. Scratching an itch is more like it.

Aubrey: So what? Why do you care what Kelly does?

Brody: You and Tess not getting along, huh?

Ford: We're doing just fine, thanks.

Brody: Yeah, you're the picture of a happy couple.

Cutter: No, thanks, buddy.

Tess: You haven't seen what I have to offer yet.

Ford: Don't you think you need to be spending time with Natalie and your real son?

Brody: Jessica is my family, and if you lay one finger on--

Ford: Trust me, I won't. She might pretend otherwise when it's convenient for her, but she's completely not interested in me.

Cutter: You know you're tempting fate. Your brother and my sister are lurking somewhere around here.

Tess: Well, I like to live dangerously.

Cutter: Whoa, whoa. Remember last time we did this, you went a little nutso on me.

Tess: Ah, you loved it. Two for the price of one.

Cutter: You're not afraid Jessica's gonna come out?

Tess: Like I said, I like to live dangerously.

David: Somebody's a little me, me, me, me, me.

Langston: So this has nothing to do with me and Ford.

David: We are professionals producing a movie. We're not running a dating service, which, by the way, is a good idea in the Internet age.

Dorian: Hold that thought. Darling--excuse us just a moment. Sweetheart, why not broaden your horizons? Just think how uncomfortable you're going to be running around town and then running into Ford and his new wife. So, why not switch towns and write a movie while you're at it, huh?

Langston: This has disaster written all over it. And even if I do say yes, what director is gonna want to work with someone who's never written a real screenplay before?

David: Actually--

Dorian: Actually, we have found an exciting new talent. Yes, a brilliant young director.

David: Kid's a real up-and-comer.

Dorian: And he signed off on collaborating on the script with you, sight unseen.

Langston: What loser would agree to do that?

David: That one.

Langston: Oh, my God.

On the next "One Life to Live"...

Vimal: My fate is intertwined with yours.

Tess: I like to live dangerously.

Joey: I married somebody else. You couldn't take it.

Natalie: I guess maybe we should just move on.

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