One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 1/4/11
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Episode # 10846
Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy
David: Oh. And so I begin a new year... without you.
Dorian: Oh, Viki.
Viki: Hi. Uh, I'm so sorry to show up here so late, but your lights are on, so...are you alone?
Dorian: Indeed I am.
David: Until now, I didn't know the meaning of the word alone. Alone used to be good. It meant I was independent. Love 'em and leave 'em. After a night of mohitos and monkey sex, I would say good-bye and head back to my own bed. Alone. Maybe perfect a one-armed, one-legged downward dog while watching reruns of "Growing Pains." Alone. But now alone is a bitter word. Ah! When my loved ones are so far...far away. Now all I have to keep me warm are memories.
Announcer: The countdown may be over, but the classic rock never stops. We're ringing in the New Year with another oldie but goodie coming your way.
[Whooping and hollering]
Man: Shame on you shame on you shame, shame shame on you
[Turns off television]
David: And the worst part is, it's not even my fault. But I refuse to give up hope. I refuse, because I believe that the wrongs against me, they will be righted. I believe that Pa will figure out that Uncle Clint has turned to the dark side.
Bo: Thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Clint.
Clint: I couldn't let you be alone, not tonight.
Bo: Yeah, it's not every night that a man's wife throws him out of the house, huh? But I do appreciate your hospitality.
Clint: Well, what are big brothers for?
Rex: Seriously, what is better than cold pizza?
Gigi: Making mad passionate love and then cold pizza?
Rex: You're right. And kissing away tomato sauce isn't too bad either.
Gigi: Ha ha. I assume I got your mind off tracking down that stupid magazine for Kelly.
Rex: Are you kidding? My mind is right back in the gutter where it belongs.
Gigi: Oh. Woo! Ha ha! Oh, my God!
Rex: I know.
Gigi: It's that David Vickers commercial. "Have-a-Seat" or whatever. It's on, like, every 5 minutes this time of night.
David: Tonight it's a movie premiere, and I am seated next to a couple of people name Brad and Angelina, but I can't go. Why not? Because of this.
Rex: Please, please make it stop! Make it stop!
Brody: Excuse me, can you tell Dr. Wright we're here, please? The patient's name is Jessica Brennan.
Nurse: Are you experiencing discomfort, Ms. Brennan?
Jessica: I had a really sharp pain a little while ago, and it's way too soon for me to go into labor, and I'm really, really worried about the baby--
Brody: Dr. Wright told us to come straight to the E.R.
Nurse: I'll page her for you.
Brody: Thank you. Just hang on, okay? The doctor will be here any minute. Natalie's on her way. Whoa, whoa. We're all here for you, Jess. Everything's gonna be fine.
David: I know it's not as if I've never done anything wrong, but there's this old Moroccan saying that goes, "when the pumpkin gives birth, the fence has the trouble." I'm pretty sure I didn't translate that correctly, but I believe in karma. I believe in purity...and goodness. They are rewarded in this world, while lying and cheating and stabbing people in the back are punished!
Natalie: I don't believe you, Marty! You were gonna tell him! You were gonna come to my wedding and you were gonna tell John that Brody is my baby's father after you swore...you swore on your son's life that you weren't gonna tell anybody!
Marty: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Natalie, but that's just not true.
Natalie: Yes, of course it's true because you are lying, and I'm not gonna let you get away with it.
David: I know you've been fed vicious lies, but they're just lies! Lies! I also know you haven't given up on me. You feel the same way about me that I feel about you.
David: Ah! What's that, cherry blossom? When will I be home? Take heart. Take heart, my sweet. Look, look what I've been doing. Shh! Keep your voice down. I'm digging. I'm digging my way to you and no one, no one is going to stop me!
Viki: You mentioned awhile ago that you had some sort of a solution for getting rid of Echo? Is that still in the works?
Dorian: Yes, but it is proving more challenging than I thought because certain people will not allow me to do anything illegal.
Viki: I am getting so desperate that I may very well bend that rule.
Dorian: Well, that's a game changer.
Viki: Forget it. I'm kidding. I was kidding.
Dorian: You know what I'd really like to do? I would like to take Echo and throw her into a jail cell in a foreign country, and then she is never heard from again.
David: Just a few teaspoonfuls of dirt every day when the guards aren't looking, and I'll be tunneling my way back to you soon. And when I'm there, I'll take you in my arms and we'll ride on the wings of ecstasy. Does ecstasy have wings? Doesn't matter. When we're sated and panting from exhaustion, we will plot our revenge against Clint Buchanan who dared to rip us apart and--
[Cell door clangs]
David: Shh. Shh. Someone's coming.
Clint: Bo, you can stay as long as you need to.
Bo: Well, thanks. But I'm afraid I'm pretty bad company without Nora. And what a fool! Getting myself mixed up in that situation with Inez.
Clint: Oh, come on. You got a brand-new year in front of you, and things can turn around faster than you think.
Bo: Oh, yeah. Like my whole life turned around. It turned from perfect to horrible all in one night. And it was my own fault.
Clint: No, it wasn't.
Bo: No? Then whose fault was it?
David: [Whistling] Ah, Kahlid, my good man. I trust you had a splendid new year with your undoubtedly stunning family. Ha ha. Well... who's this? How do you do? I'm David Vickers Buchanan. You-- what--what are you looking for?
Kahlid: There's a spoon missing from the commissary.
David: No! That's stealing!
Kahlid: Yes, that's true, and the offender will be punished. What's the saying? An eye for an eye?
David: What does that have to do with spoons?
Kahlid: Because when we find the spoon, I'll scoop your eyeballs from their sockets, and then I'll feed them to you.
David: Well, nothing to be worried about here. I'm a vegan. Didn't I mention that? I believe I did about 4 months ago when you tried to feed me the dried goat loaf, so...not an issue. Nothing to see here in this cell because I have absolutely no idea where that spoon is.
Clint: Bo, don't be so hard on yourself. People make mistakes.
Bo: Yeah, but this wasn't just any mistake. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. No, this is crazy! I ought to go back home right now and beg Nora to take me back.
Clint: No. You can't do that.
Matthew: Are you watching TV with the sound off?
Nora: It's better that way. What are you doing up?
Matthew: I couldn't really sleep. Bad dreams.
David: Wake up, Rex. Rise and shine.
Rex: What the hell?
David: That's right. It's me. Aren't you going to invite me in to...have a seat?
Rex: Uh, no. No way. This is a dream.
David: Oh, really? What makes you think that?
Rex: Because I can tell what's real and what's not, and you are not talking to me from my TV. You are in a prison in Morocco.
David: Thanks to you!
Rex: Hey, don't blame me. I didn't put you there.
David: Maybe not, but you could've told my pa to get me the hell out of here. Instead, you're leaving me rotting here in this filthy jail cell.
Rex: There was no way around it. I had no choice!
Marty: I'm not a liar. I think you're forgetting our agreement.
Natalie: Yes, the agreement where you swore you would not tell John that he is not my baby's father.
Marty: Exactly! I did promise that I wouldn't tell John, but I certainly didn't promise that I wouldn't tell Jessica.
John: Did you get ahold of Dr. Wright?
Nurse: She hasn't responded to my page yet, but the resident will be in to see you soon.
Brody: Look, if Jessica's going into labor, we don't want some kid fresh out of med school delivering this baby.
Jessica: Please. You have to find Dr. Wright.
John: Let me see what I can do.
Jessica: John, I'm so sorry about your wedding. I kind of ruined the mood a little bit.
John: Marty beat you to that. Don't think about that. You're all that's important now.
Natalie: Are you kidding me? Seriously, you're gonna play word games with me right now?
Marty: I know what I didn't say. My conscience is clear.
Natalie: Oh, well, I'm so relieved that you don't feel guilty about destroying my life or John's and Jessica's. She's had a hard pregnancy. You're a doctor. Hell, you're supposed to be her friend!
Marty: And you're supposed to be her sister! And what did you do? Your actions have consequences! Deal with them.
Clint: Bo, you don't want to make things worse. That's what'll happen if you go over to Nora's tonight.
Bo: You think so?
Clint: Yeah. She's got such a temper. When that anger of hers comes to a boil, you don't push it. You back off and let her cool down.
Bo: Maybe you're right. Sometimes I forget just how well you know Nora.
Clint: Well enough to marry her.
Bo: Yeah, we all know what happened after that. For you to be here tonight for me...you're a good man, Clint, and I will never forget that.
Nora: I hope your bad dream doesn't have anything to do with what's going on between your dad and me.
Matthew: I don't really remember what it was about. I just woke up with this really bad feeling.
Nora: Probably doesn't help that your dad's not here and that your mother's watching the TV without the sound on.
Matthew: Things are a little weird around here.
Nora: I'm so sorry, Matthew.
Matthew: No, I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't told you about Dad and Inez.
Nora: No, no. Don't you ever apologize for telling the truth, okay? I needed to hear it, even if it hurts. Can I ask you a question?
Nora: What made you think there was something going on between your dad and Inez?
Clint: Here's to Asa. Oh, by God, Pa really knew his bourbon.
Bo: That he did. You know, he would be so happy to see us together again like this. It is a miracle, after what happened with Nora.
Clint: Let's not talk about that.
Bo: No, you felt betrayed, and I think you had every reason. And I want you to know that I am sorry.
Clint: Well, don't be. If anyone should be sorry, it's me.
Bo: What for?
David: Sing...dance... you know, that reminds me. I saw this on "Dancing With the Stars." You should try it-- the lift out--
[Guard speaking indistinctly]
David: What? What? What? Huh?
Kahlid: Try to escape?
David: What, me? No! No, just expanding the dance studio. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's awfully cramped in here. I thought maybe if I expanded it, I could get a little more elbow room.
Kahlid: Stop! I've heard enough. I will hear no more. Rashad... [Speaking Arabic]
David: What are you... no, no, no. Not my eyeballs. Please. Not my eyeballs. They're among my best features.
Viki: Dorian, good night.
Dorian: No, no. Where are you going?
Viki: Look, coming here in the middle of the night, that's bad enough, but then asking you to get rid of Echo for me, that's just beyond the pale. I'm sorry. Forgive me, okay?
Dorian: You have nothing to be sorry about. It's Echo who is beyond the pale, except of course when she's covered with soot and ashes and she'd just fallen down the fireplace!
Viki: Ha ha! Dorian, did you really push her down the chimney?
Dorian: No, I did not.
Viki: You didn't?
Dorian: No. I just locked her out on the roof without a coat.
Dorian: Yes, and there was this Santa suit there. She was the one who decided to put the Santa suit on, and she was the one who decided to fall down the chimney.
Viki: Thank you for that. It was brilliant. Thank you, and thank you for helping me with Echo. Why are you doing it?
Dorian: Simple. You and Charlie belong together.
Viki: Is it...is it really because of Charlie and me? Or is it maybe a little bit because you still miss David?
David: Oh, what about a kidney? Would you take a kidney instead of an eyeball? Did I ever tell you that I once sold a chunk of my liver for $10 million once? So imagine what you could get for a kidney on the black market.
Kahlid: Quiet! [Speaking Arabic]
David: Please, please. Not my eyeballs.
Bo: What do you have to be sorry for?
Clint: Bad advice. You wanted to come clean with Nora, and I told you not to do it. By not coming clean, it made her even madder, so it was bad advice, and I apologize.
Bo: Forget it, okay? You were just trying to help.
Clint: That's not all.
Nora: No. Matthew, did someone tell you about your father and Inez?
Matthew: I saw them. They didn't know I was there.
Nora: What? When? Where?
Matthew: Mom, come on. Don't make me talk about this.
Nora: Listen. I know you don't want to hurt me, but that's a done deal, okay? You cannot make this worse.
Matthew: All right. When I went to the Salingers', I saw them on the couch.
Nora: Oh, my God.
Matthew: No, they weren't--I mean, obviously something was gonna happen, but not yet.
Nora: Oh, my God.
Matthew: See? I knew I shouldn't have told you.
Nora: No, no, no. I'm okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's just...hearing it kind of makes it real, and I was still hoping it was a crazy lie.
Matthew: Even though Dad admitted it?
Nora: Yeah, well, he also said he'd been drinking, so he didn't remember it. You know, what I don't understand is, how did you end up at the Salingers' apartment to begin with?
Clint's voice: I wouldn't doubt that Bo was with Inez right now.
Nora: Matthew? Is something wrong?
Clint: Listen to me, Bo, please. About Nora and Inez--
Bo: Hey, look, it's David.
Bo: Right there.
David: Like many of you, I have known the painful agony of hemorrhoids. That was me before--before Have-a-Seat. One swipe with the wipe, and you'll never be afraid to be glued to your chair again. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a movie premiere to get to, but first I need to--
Bo: I have to admit, I am disappointed.
Clint: It's a hemorrhoid commercial. What do you expect?
Bo: No, I'm not talking about that. I mean the way David left Dorian at the altar. I thought things were gonna be different this time. He swore to me that he loved her. I believed him, and--poof! He just disappeared.
Bo: Hey, look, I know how you feel about him, and I don't blame you after whatever he did to make Kim leave town.
Clint: It is better this way.
Bo: Yeah, maybe. At least he knows that he's not gonna end up at the wrong end of your shotgun.
Clint: Bo, I've apologized for that one.
Bo: I know, and you're not Pa. You'd never take revenge on my son. You know, brothers have to stick together, just like you're doing tonight here with me. I really do appre--
Clint: Bo, stop. We both know that I'm not perfect. In fact--
[Cell phone rings]
Bo: Wait. Hold on. It might be Nora. Buchanan.
Kahlid: It is I, Mr. Buchanan--Kahlid from Galaat Magouna.
Bo: Galot Magoo? What? Who is this?
David: Is that my pa on the phone? Pa!
David: Liar, liar, pants on fire! You're probably not wearing pants, are you?
Rex: No, I am asleep in my own bed, and what I'm wearing or not wearing is none of your business.
David: You're going to see what you've done to me, whether you like it or not. How do you like my accommodations? Blood-sucking flies! Rats the size of small children. And if you had smell-o-vision, you'd be gagging right now because I am living in a sweating, breathing nightmare thanks to you, Balsom, because you couldn't man up and tell Bo the truth!
Rex: It's Clint. He threatened me!
David: Aw. Poor baby.
Rex: I'm serious, okay? He threatened to send me to prison for corporate espionage. Shane would have grown up without a father. And Gigi--
David: What about her?
Rex: She finally got her dream of going back to school. Clint was gonna make it go away. He was gonna keep her from getting the money that she needed.
David: I see. I understand.
Rex: No, no, you don't understand. He would have made life hell for all of us.
David: Cash. That's what it's all about to Rex Balsom, isn't it? Cold, hard cash. What kind of person are you, anyway? What kind of shallow, selfish person are you, Rex?!
Marty: You keep trying to turn this around on me. You're the one who betrayed her own sister. You're the one who almost married a man under false pretenses, and you're only attacking me because I'm the one who's gonna stop you!
John: Hey, hey. They've been paging you.
Vivian: I was in the middle of a delivery. What's going on? Is Natalie in labor?
John: No, it's Jessica.
Vivian: I knew she was having some pain but not regular contractions, right?
John: Whatever it is, it's making her think there might be something wrong.
Vivian: All right. I'm on my way.
Brody: You haven't felt anything in a while, right?
Brody: So maybe that pain was nothing.
Jessica: Or maybe it was something.
Jessica: Dr. Wright, oh, my God. I'm so happy to see you.
Vivian: Let's see what's going on. Can you guys give us a minute, please?
John: Yeah, of course.
Brody: Wow. Jess is really freaked. I guess when you've lost two babies, you always think something's gonna go wrong.
John: No, not this time.
Brody: Man, I hope you're right.
John: Hey, come on, man. You got twin girls having babies at the same time. That's got to be a once-in-a-lifetime thing, right? Nothing's messing this up, not for any of us, okay? Natalie should have been here by now. I wonder what happened to her.
Natalie: You are not doing this for the greater good. You're doing this for revenge. Your son was sent to prison, and you want me to suffer.
Natalie: Yeah, well, what can I say? The truth hurts.
Natalie: Wait. If you're determined to do this, okay, then please, Marty, just let me be the one to tell John the truth.
Marty: It's too late.
Natalie: Okay, okay, all right. I'll beg, if that's what--if that's what you want. I'll get down on my hands and knees and beg, but please, Marty, just let me have this. Please.
Natalie: Look, I need to be the one to tell John.
Marty: Why? So you can play the victim, put your own little spin on it? Uh-uh. No. I'm not gonna let you manipulate John into raising another man's baby.
Natalie: Just when I thought you had a shred of human decency left. Sorry I wasted my time. I guess I should have gone to the hospital with my sister. Where do you think you're going?
Marty: I'm going to the hospital. Where else?
Natalie: No! No way!
Brody: Is everything okay?
Vivian: We need to run a few more tests, so I'll get Jessica admitted, and we'll get started.
Brody: Can I go back in?
John: Hey, is there anything I can do?
Brody: Maybe it's time to let Jess' parents know.
David: I heard my pa!
Bo: Hello? David, is that you?
Clint: Bo, let me handle this.
David: Pa, don't give up on me!
Clint: I think you have the wrong Buchanan.
Kahlid: A thousand pardons.
David: Pa! Come get me, Pa!
Kahlid: But I had to alert you, sir, our little mischievous little monkey has tried to flee his cage. I thought you should know.
Clint: Yes. Thank you. I will take care of it.
Matthew: The reason I went to the Salingers was because I had to get something from Nate for school. We have a class together.
Nora: What a coincidence that your father ended up being there at the same time.
Dorian: Oh, no, no. You could not be more wrong. I am not doing damage control for you and Charlie because I'm trying to cover up the fact that I'm so hurt that I lost David.
Viki: Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.
Dorian: David Vickers Buchanan is a dead issue.
Viki: Actually, I think he's still very much alive for you.
Dorian: He is a stupid lout who did me a great favor by walking out on our wedding, and were he to walk through my front door right now, I can tell you I wouldn't give him a second glance.
Viki: You don't really expect me to believe that, do you?
Matthew: So what's gonna happen now?
Nora: I...I don't know.
Matthew: Are you guys gonna get divorced again?
Nora: I don't want that. I--I'm just too upset to make any decisions right now. I mean, oh, God. Part of me just wants him to go away, you know, but there's another part of me that just wants him to walk right back through the door and put everything back to the way it was. Oh.
Clint: Sorry for the mix-up, but the guy who called didn't realize he had the wrong Buchanan.
Bo: Who was that?
Clint: A very interesting new client that I'm doing business with.
Bo: We do business in gala ma-whatever? Is that in Morocco?
Clint: Yeah. We have several holdings there now.
Bo: Really? I had no idea.
Clint: There's a lot that you don't know.
Bo: Still, that call--that was kind of strange. Somebody in the background was making so much noise I could hardly even understand him. The funny thing is, it sounded like he was yelling "Pa."
Clint: It's happened before. Other calls get patched in by mistake, and suddenly you got two or 3 conversations going at once.
Bo: You think that's all it was, just a bad connection?
Clint: It's a very remote area, and the phone service leaves a lot to be desired, but it looks like I'm gonna have to fire up the jet and go over there.
Bo: To Morocco?
Clint: Yeah. I hate to leave you here alone.
Bo: That's okay. I'll be all right.
Clint: You know where everything is, and Nigel will take very good care of you, so make yourself comfortable.
Bo: Hey, Clint. You know, you're right. I don't know a whole lot about the business, but I want you to know, if you ever need my help, just ask me, especially after everything that you've done for me tonight.
Clint: Yeah. Don't give it another thought.
Rex: This has nothing to do with money. I swear, this is about Shane and Gigi. They're my family. They count on me. If I had to go to prison--
David: I'm sorry, prison? Did you say prison? Imagine that. Oh, wait. I don't have to because that's how I'll be spending the next 20 years of my life! Wasting away on hope and sewage until I'm absolutely nothing. That's what you bought for me, Rex, with your silence!
Rex: I'm sorry they locked you up, but if you did the crime--
David: I was on my way to get married to the woman that I love, and then I wake up in this hellhole.
Rex: Clint said--he said those charges were legit.
David: And you bought that, without even looking into it? I thought you were a P.I.
Rex: I am.
David: Did you even check it out to see if it was true? Did you? Did you ever?!
Rex: David, stop. Just stop it. Leave me alone!
Gigi: Baby, what is it?
Gigi: What's wrong?
David: No, don't put it away. One phone call. You've got to give me one phone call! No, seriously, on TV, everybody gets one phone call.
[Kahlid speaks Arabic]
David: No. No! No! Oh! No! Dorian! What have you done?
Dorian: I'm sorry. This is just a fairy tale that you're spinning. As far as David and I are concerned, there is not going to be a happily ever after. Now please, can we concentrate on Echo?
Viki: I can't believe this. After all the years I spent chastising you for your schemes, now I'm actually going to participate in one.
Dorian: You finally smartened up. Happy New Year.
Viki: Dorian, I don't want this marriage to fail. I really, really want it to last. I do.
[Cell phone rings]
Viki: Oh. Hello?
John: Mrs. Banks, it's John McBain.
Viki: Oh, it's my new son-in-law. How was the wedding?
John: I'll explain later. I'm calling about Jessica. She's in the emergency room.
Natalie: Marty, I am warning you, you stay away from that hospital, and if you go anywhere near my sister, I swear to you--
Marty: What? You're gonna kill me? That is the only thing that's gonna stop me. Get off of me! Oh!
David: Kahlid, wait. That lifelike sketch represents everything that's important to me in my world. You and your fellow guard desecrated it.
Kahlid: What about it?
David: I happen to know that your code of honor demands that you make up for that.
Kahlid: My code of honor?
David: Let me make a phone call. I will double whatever Uncle Clint is paying you.
Kahlid: You have no money.
David: True, true, but perhaps you're forgetting something. Morocco's favorite television program, "Pretty People Crime go Bust." Back home we call it "The Supermodel Crime Club."
Kahlid: What about it?
David: I can give you something better than money. I can give you the autograph of the star of that program. Yours truly. Huh? Your wife, she's probably a pretty big fan. She is, isn't she?
Kahlid: Fatima likes the program, yes.
David: When is the last time you gave Fatima a really nice gift?
Kahlid: It has been quite some time. Lately she and I--we have not been getting on so well.
David: I hear you, Kah. I know what it's like when the little lady won't give you any nak-nak. But this will have her eating out of the palm of your hand, guaranteed. Come on, buddy. Let me save your relationship so I can save mine.
[Cell phone ringing]
Gigi: Your heart is pounding, and when I asked you what was wrong, you said "David."
Rex: It was that commercial.
Gigi: Oh, please tell me you weren't dreaming about hemorrhoids.
Rex: No, no. Just bad commercials, cold pizza, Chinese food left over is not a good combo.
Gigi: Okay. Are you sure you're okay?
Rex: Yeah. I'm fine, as long as I have you and Shane forever.
Gigi: You can count on that.
David: What do you say, Kahlid? Your wife's happiness in exchange for a tiny little phone call.
Kahlid: I would like to make my wife happy.
David: Oh, brother. Nothing pleases a woman like a genuine bona-fide autograph from a genuine bona-fide supermodel-turned-actor.
Kahlid: I'll think about it.
David: Yes! My darling, I've done it. I'm going to see you again, sooner than I ever expected.
David on TV: Control your 'rhoid rage with have-a-seat. One swipe with the wipe, and you'll be sitting on top of the world. Have-a-Seat treatment and cure.
Brody: This is not gonna be like before, Jess. Every checkup you've had, this baby has been healthy and strong, right? Hey, I love you, and all 3 of us are gonna come through this just fine.
Viki: Thank you. Jessie? Honey.
Jessica: I'm so scared.
Viki: I know. I know, but you know what? You're gonna be fine, all right? You're getting the best care possible. We're all here. We're gonna see to it. I promise you it's all gonna be fine.
Brody: Hey, do you have any idea what's going on yet?
Vivian: You know what? We'll know a lot more when the test comes back.
Brody: That pain she has--is that normal?
Vivian: No, Brody, it's not. And I'd be less than honest if I said that I wasn't concerned.
Natalie: Marty? Marty, wake up. Marty! Come on, Marty, wake up!
[Cell phone rings]
Natalie: Marty, please, open your eyes. Wake up. Come on, open them up.
[Cell phone ringing]
Natalie: Marty, come on, please, wake up. Can you hear me. Marty! Where is it? Oh, my God. She's dead.
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