OLTL Transcript Tuesday 9/14/10

One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 9/14/10

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Episode # 10773

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Rex: Hey! College girl!

Gigi: There's a bunch of them over there. The little girls sitting next to the little boys from the ultimate Frisbee team.

Rex: No, see, I was looking for a sexy, mature coed who dazzled everybody her first day of classes. How did it go?

Gigi: Is Bo still looking for a new assistant, 'cause I seriously need a new career.

[Music playing]

Bo: Okay?

Nora: Well?

Bo: Kelly hasn't seen Dorian all day.

Nora: So we have absolutely no idea whether she's gonna show up. Perfect. That's our mayor in action.

Dorian: "David Vickers Buchanan had just found 69 new ways to use...whipped cream."

[Knock on door]

Kelly: Dorian! I saw you. I know you're awake.

Dorian: Go away, please.

Kelly: Bo just called. You're supposed to be at the Palace right now for a budget meeting with him and Nora?

Dorian: Not tonight.

Kelly: They're waiting.

Dorian: I am not leaving this house.

Nora: Well, I guess it's just the two of us.

Bo: Does that mean that this just turned into date night?

Inez: Commissioner? I'm sorry I'm late.

Eli: Not so fast, Dr. Evans.

Greg: I have a plane to catch.

Eli: We're not done.

Greg: What do you want from me, Eli?

Eli: I need someone I can trust to check me out here.

Greg: They have doctors here. Nobody knows you. You'll be safe.

Eli: They're not the best. You are. And I need to get back on my feet fast. I have some more work to do in Llanview.

Dani: Dad.

Ross: Hey, kiddo. I got here as soon as I--oh!

Dani: Hi! Hi!

Ross: Oh, it's okay, it's okay. Daddy's here. Daddy's here.

Kelly: Dorian, you are needed. You are the mayor. You have responsibilities. You have constituents.

Dorian: I--ahem. I know that Llanview is just fine. I've checked my e-mails.

Kelly: Oh, okay, yeah, because that's all it takes. Dorian, this is all on David. He acted like a snake. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Nobody, nobody is gonna laugh at you.

Dorian: Oh, please! I'm used to people laughing at me. They laugh at me all the time. I'm the one who wanted to run for election. I mean, that's like volunteering to be a human pincushion. I can take it.

Kelly: Then what are you afraid of?

Dorian: Pity. Yeah, the Buchanans have gone all soft, or they think that I have. You know, the day of my non-wedding, Nora--oh! She was positively gooey.

Kelly: Come on. Is that so bad? Okay. I'm sorry.

Dorian: I can just see... imagine Bo and Nora's faces looking like woebegone basset hounds.

Kelly: I think they really have other things on their minds tonight.

Dorian: Hmm?

Inez: I'm so sorry, but traffic on the bridge was jammed.

Nora: Are you taking notes?

Inez: Well, whatever you need. I didn't bring my laptop.

Bo: Inez, are you here for us?

Inez: Well, yeah, if I'm not too late. I mean, I didn't get the message until--

Bo: What message?

Inez: There was a note at the front desk at the station. "Meet Mr. Buchanan at the Palace for dinner."

Bo: I didn't leave a note.

Clint: That was me.

Nora: Ah!

Cristian: You called off our wedding.

Layla: No, I haven't done anything, and I won't. Whatever happens, we decide together.

Cristian: I thought we had decided.

Layla: We did. We are getting married. All I'm saying is, let's have our wedding later.

Cristian: But why can't we get married before you go?

Layla: Because Steffen needs me in Paris next week, and we can't plan a wedding that fast.

Cristian: Why not? Téa and Todd did it. Blair and Eli did it.

Layla: Don't forget Dorian and David. What a fine list you've got there.

Cristian: We wouldn't be like them.

Layla: No, because I have a dress that kills, and I want a big, fat wedding to match. And I want to have a full year to be a Bridezilla. Aren't you glad I'm not gonna be a nightmare here? I'll be a nightmare across the ocean.

Cristian: Truth? I'd marry you in the parking lot right now, but I do want you to have your dream wedding.

Layla: Then it's settled. Come here. Mmm! What?

Cristian: Do you really think we can live in two different continents for a whole year?

Rex: Now, what was so bad about college?

Gigi: Where to start?

Rex: First class.

Gigi: Calculus.

Rex: You signed up for calculus?

Gigi: I thought I would be good at it. I've been counting tips my whole life, and it's the first college math class. I thought this would be my easy one.

Rex: Oh. Then it will be. You are good at math.

Gigi: What about cosine?

Rex: You're guaranteeing car loans?

Gigi: See? That's what I said, but this cosine isn't something you do. It's a thing. You use it to measure angles or something.

Rex: Oh, who knew?

Gigi: Anyone who took trigonometry, which apparently I should have done before signing up for calc.

Rex: Okay, so you'll change that. Forget it. Easy. Next one.

Gigi: Philosophy. We're starting with nature of consciousness, which I guess is "yes, I'm awake, but apparently there are humors and music of the spheres and the collective unconscious--" You mean, like, Sunday morning before the game starts?

Gigi: See? That I get, but that is so not what this class was about. I was just sitting there praying that the teacher wouldn't notice me.

Rex: It'll get better.

Gigi: Tomorrow is gonna be great.

Rex: That's the spirit!

Gigi: Because I'm getting out and I'm done.

Clint: Well, I guess my secretary was not very clear.

Inez: No, I thought it was work.

Clint: Well, I'll try and make sure that it isn't. Nora, Bo, is it okay if I steal your assistant?

Bo: Well, I think that's up to her.

Clint: Inez? I promise you the best Caesar salad in town.

Nora: Oh, and that it is. A great salad. Great salad.

Inez: So, you don't need me?

Bo: Well, no.

Nora: Go. Enjoy.

Inez: Okay, well, okay.

Clint: And our table is ready. It's right over there.

Inez: Oh.

Clint: See you guys.

Bo: Yeah.

Nora: I want to talk to you more about Matthew's internship.

Clint: Sure.

Nora: Huh. Well, well, well.

[Clapping]

Kelly: Let's go! Up and at 'em. Let's go.

Dorian: Hey! Hey! Leave me alone.

Kelly: I want to see you in your power suit with the spiked heels in 5 minutes.

Dorian: When did you get so pesky?

Kelly: Or you're my next cover story for the "Sun."

Dorian: You wouldn't?

Kelly: Oh, yes, I would. "Shut-in Mayor Shuns City," complete with sad-eyed shots, you wandering the house with a trail of stray kittens.

Dorian: I don't even have a cat.

Kelly: Oh, well, we're the "Sun." You think we're above doctoring a photo to make a dramatic point?

Dorian: When did you get so relentless?

Kelly: Oh, you can count on it.

Dorian: Ah--and heartless!

Kelly: Excuse me? Who turned off the phone, brought you butterscotch ice cream, and raspberry vodka for 3 days? Hmm? Who did that?

Dorian: And where, I ask, is that dear, kind, sweet, compassionate angel now? Please, Kelly, try to remember how you felt when you and Kevin hit the skids.

Kelly: Hey, I do remember. I do remember. I remember every vivid, horrible detail about that. And I wanted to curl up and never show my face again, okay? But you've gotten a few days of that. Time's up. Come on.

Dorian: No, I am not ready.

Kelly: You let this go on, and this starts to feel normal and then suddenly you're sunk, and I won't have to doctor any photos. You will become that crazy, strange cat lady who collects tin foil and bits of string.

Ross: Look at you. You've grown.

Dani: I can't believe you're here.

Todd: Neither can I.

Dani: You know, I honestly-- I didn't think I'd ever see you again.

Todd: I came as soon as I heard about your mom.

Todd: Oh, really? You didn't get sidetracked at all?

Ross: How are you? Are you okay? How you doing?

Dani: I don't know. I'm numb.

Ross: Yeah. And I'm sorry you went through it alone.

Todd: She didn't.

Ross: But I'm here, like I said. You got my text.

Dani: Yeah.

Todd: Yeah, yeah, we got the text. It was nice. We thought you were threatening her.

Ross: I'm sorry. Did I scare you?

Dani: No, no, no. I thought it was you. I mean, I hoped.

Todd: Ahem. Yeah, can I get Bo Buchanan, please? Yes, and tell him that I have a fugitive for him. Elijah Clarke's brother.

Greg: What is it you said you hit?

Eli: A big beam fell from the roof.

[Eli inhales sharply]

Eli: Uhh...how's it look?

Greg: Nasty.

Eli: Well, stitch it up, and give me some pain meds, will you?

Greg: Tell me about the pain. Is it steady, or does it come and go?

Eli: Oh, pretty steady, doc.

Greg: Like your head's in a vise or like it's getting pounded?

Eli: Both, actually. I don't know. What does it matter? Just give me some pain medicine already.

Greg: The drug will only mask the symptoms. A headache is the least of your problems.

Todd: I don't know--why

Todd: Yeah, Bo.

Dani: No, no, please put down the phone.

Todd: Who is this? I can't put down the phone.

Dani: You don't need to do this!

Todd: What? No. Don't put me on hold.

Dani: Please stop.

Todd: Boy, you got some nerve showing up now.

Dani: Hey.

Todd: He's supposed to be in jail in Seattle, right?

Dani: Nobody cares about that anymore.

Todd: He should have stayed dead. John McBain cares. He's looking for him.

Dani: Okay, well, then let John McBain find him.

Todd: McBain needs help.

Dani: Please stop. Please?

Todd: I don't know--why don't you--look what you're doing to her.

Dani: I'm glad he's here.

Todd: Riding into town like a big hero on his shiny surfboard.

Dani: Stop it!

Ross: Dude, you're the one that's hurting her. She just lost her mom.

Todd: Yeah, I know. I was here.

Dani: Please, Todd.

Todd: All right, 2 minutes.

Dani: [Sighs] I don't even know where to start. Tell me everything.

Todd: Well, you could start by telling us what you did to help your psycho killer brother.

Greg: Follow my finger without moving your head.

Eli: Oh...

Greg: Okay. What day of the week is it?

Eli: What, is it Tuesday?

Greg: Where are we?

Eli: We are in a hospice room, and I'm answering stupid questions.

Greg: 5 + 5 minus 3.

Eli: Give that to me again. I can do this.

Greg: Who's the president of the United States?

Eli: Are you serious? Jimmy Carter. What are you trying to prove, Doc?

Greg: Okay. Catch. Try it again. Ready?

Eli: All right.

Greg: Get it?

Eli: I get it. I get it. I'm a little slow. So what? It's gonna go away, isn't it?

Greg: Yeah. We just need to run a few tests.

Eli: Oh, no, hold on a second, Doc. Hold on. Is that really necessary?

Greg: It's probably only gonna take an hour or so. It's probably nothing. Better safe than sorry.

[Door opens]

Layla: [Sighs] Cris, what happened? You were on board at L.U.

Cristian: Did I say that?

Layla: Sort of. You didn't sound worried about being long distance for a while.

Cristian: That's before I thought about it. I mean, have you thought about it, like, really thought about it? We won't be together at night. We'll wake up every morning alone.

Layla: That's the hard part. The good part is, you'll be so into your work, sometimes you'll be glad that I'm not there.

Cristian: Don't count on it.

Layla: It's not like we won't see each other at all.

[Sets glass on table]

Cristian: You said every month?

Layla: We'll take turns traveling.

Cristian: I still want to say good night every night.

Layla: Online chat every night.

Cristian: Yeah.

Layla: People do this all the time. If we really want it to work out, then it will. I'm ready to try it if you are.

Nora: Okay, so, if we split the anti-drug campaign between our 2 budgets, we should have enough for the afterschool program, don't you think, Bo?

Bo: Yeah.

Nora: Yeah, I mean, if we can get the school board to pick up their part of the classroom, and then that'll be more money for the enforcement for LPD, right?

Bo: Mmm, sure.

Nora: Right. Oh, God, I would much rather see us spend money on that end. I mean, if it helps afford drug prosecutions on this end, right?

Inez: Ha ha ha!

Clint: Ha ha ha!

Nora: Why, they look like they're having fun.

Bo: Yeah, Inez is making the best of it. She just got sandbagged, you know.

Inez: Ha ha ha!

Nora: Really? How do you figure?

Bo: She didn't come here to see Clint. She came--she thought it was work.

Nora: Oh, yeah, that's tough. You know, instead of work, the struggling single mom gets asked out by the handsome, charming billionaire. That's tough.

Bo: It's not that simple.

Nora: Okay. What am I missing?

Bo: It's Clint.

Nora: Yeah, I know.

Bo: What, and my assistant? Come on.

Nora: Yeah... and what, you're afraid that she's gonna tell Clint your secret police business?

Bo: No.

Nora: Okay. Well, it's not your secret business, so that's not a question, right?

Bo: No.

Nora: Okay, then what?

Bo: Well, what, it doesn't bother you? All the women in this town, and he has to go after my assistant?

Nora: It's dinner. And so what if it ends up being more than that?

Bo: It's just--it's--it's odd.

Nora: You know what, I, for one, would love to see Clint go out with a nice, normal girl who's a little closer to his own age that didn't just climb off a pole.

Bo: Ah, well, that's guilt talking.

Nora: Well, maybe it is a little, but you know, you, too.

Bo: What, me?

Nora: Oh, yeah, you're a part of this. You and I drove Clint into Kim's arms, and your son David drove Kim away.

Bo: My son David. Does that always stick in your throat?

Nora: Well, I've been practicing.

Bo: Oh, really?

Nora: A lot of practice. Come on. We owe Clint.

Bo: We owe Clint my assistant?

Nora: Well, no. If you're gonna put it like that, no, of course not, but don't you want to see Clint happy?

Bo: Yeah, sure.

Nora: Well, there's some enthusiasm.

Bo: Well, okay, of course I want Clint to be happy.

Nora: But?

Bo: But it's more than just this. You know, this internship with Matthew? All of a sudden, Clint's just, you know, he's around.

Clint: Would you rather sit out on the terrace?

Inez: No, this is great.

Clint: You're sure?

Inez: Yes.

Clint: And you don't feel hijacked into dinner?

Inez: No. No, not at all. I just--I don't--I don't know the etiquette.

Clint: For the Palace?

Inez: Your brother is my boss.

Clint: He allows salad breaks.

Dorian: Oh! This was a mistake.

Kelly: The hat, maybe, but-- I'm kidding. You look perfect. You are a star, and this is your public.

Dorian: Hmm!

Kelly: You're on, baby.

Nora: Ah, Dorian. Glad you could make it.

Dorian: Oh, hello, Nora. Thank you so much, Bo. Do sit down. Oh, you, of course, know my niece Kelly.

Kelly: I'm gonna go get a drink. Okay.

Dorian: Bye, darling. All right, quickly. Show me your figures because we have to slash 20% off your budget.

Clint: Over the years, my brother and I have been in some sticky situations. Would you be offended if I said that you and I having a friendly meal together doesn't even rank?

Inez: Would you be offended if I told you that I'm more concerned about keeping my job than how it affects you and your brother?

Clint: Well, that was honest.

Inez: I have to support my son. I need this job. It's a very good job, and I realize that I am the expendable part of this equation. You and Bo are family, and there's nothing bigger than that.

Clint: Not even marrying my ex-wife? You surprised?

Inez: You could say that.

Clint: You honestly didn't know that Nora and I used to be married? It kind of made all the papers when we split up.

Inez: Well, I haven't been in town that long. But I mean, even if I had been, I don't read gossip.

Clint: You're a gem.

Inez: I don't know about that. You weren't kidding when you said that you and your brother have been through it.

Clint: Nope, but don't worry about it, because things are good with us now.

Nora: Dorian, cutting my paralegal staff is gonna prohibit me from prosecuting cases.

Dorian: You mean, you're gonna have to remember how to write a legal brief yourself.

Nora: No, that's not what I mean.

Dorian: The state has cut our funding, and of course we can't expect any money at all from Washington this year.

Bo: We've all tried to streamline. We've cut back on personnel. We've doubled workloads. What you're asking--

Dorian: What I'm asking is for you to be competent leaders and to make the hard decisions.

Nora: Hard decisions? Like dumping Dorian at the altar?

Bo: Dumping that witch? It was a no-brainer.

[Nora scoffs]

Dorian: What did you say?

Nora: What?

Bo: Can you believe my handsome young son married to that?

Nora: Eww!

Bo: Woo!

Rex: So you ditch philosophy. Can't you change whatever you want in the first week?

Gigi: Yeah.

Rex: So change it.

Gigi: Yep.

Rex: Now, I didn't believe that for a minute.

Gigi: Rex, you will be saving a bundle of money.

Rex: No!

Gigi: There is no point in wasting my time--

Rex: No way! You can't quit school!

Gigi: I'm being realistic, Rex. This is not me.

Rex: How do you know if you don't try? Give it some time.

Gigi: It's humiliating.

Rex: What is?

Gigi: I didn't know anything. I'm a 6-pack of beer and a strip mall girl. I can live with that.

Rex: Geeg, if you already knew everything they were gonna teach you, there would be no point in going to class.

Gigi: Tell Brittnee. 2 "t's, 2 "e"s, 18 years old, taking notes on her laptop while she texts a friend and quotes kant and lao tse and a whole bunch of other people I can't pronounce. Who does any of that, let alone at the same time?

Rex: Well, nobody who's getting through the front door at ultraviolet, I can promise you that. I will card that little princess so fast--

Gigi: These children, they know stuff, okay? Rex, they've been prepping for college their entire lives. They're excited and eager and ready to debate all these ideas while I'm trying to hide under my desk.

Rex: It's just the first day.

Gigi: You don't understand. I can't do this. It is so far away from me and everything in my life.

Rex: Yeah, so far. Your life so far, Geeg. And I think that you've been pretty incredible and amazing. You've raised this great kid, mostly on your own. And who knows if 2 "T", 2 "E" Brittnee will ever be able to say that.

Gigi: She'll have a brain surgeon, ninja, astronaut with perfect teeth.

Rex: And what if he can't count tips? Geeg, you deserve a bigger world if you want it. Okay? And our son deserves to watch you try and succeed.

Gigi: What if I fall? What does that teach him?

Rex: Depends what you want next. What do you do when you fall? 'Cause that's the only thing that matters in this world.

Gigi: Not fair.

Rex: Geeg, this is one of those moments that you're gonna look back on in 10 years, and either way you're gonna say, "that was it. That's what I chose." Now, I know you can do this. And I will do whatever you need to help you through school. Please. Don't give up.

Cristian: Okay. We'll do it. Whatever it takes, we'll get through it.

Layla: Yes, we will. I love you.

Cristian: I love you, too. One year. That's all. 12 months, and we're in the same house. I won't get used to life on my own.

Layla: I don't want you to. I will come back.

Cristian: Yes, you will.

Layla: And you'll be waking up every day going, "You again? Hmm. Can I please have a moment alone?"

Cristian: Oh, yeah, yeah. That's exactly how it will be. I'm actually already sick of you.

Layla: Ah, I'm ready to get rid of you, too. This will be hard. No lie.

Cristian: Promise you won't say good-bye.

Layla: Promise. One year.

Eli: What? What's going on?

Greg: You have a big problem.

Dani: Dad, you didn't help Eli, right?

Ross: No, honey, I was just as shocked as anybody by what he did.

Todd: Really, no clue?

Ross: Dani, you know. You never heard of Eli growing up.

Dani: Right.

Ross: Because he wasn't in my life. For years, I didn't even know who he was.

Todd: But suddenly he shows up with a different name, and you're not suspicious?

Ross: He said it was a bankruptcy thing, honey. I had no idea what my brother had become. And when he and Blair came to Tahiti, yeah, I was happy to see him because I thought he was what everybody thought. But you heard.

Dani: Yeah.

Ross: Yeah, so you know that your Uncle Eli was a seriously messed up dude. But he was my only family besides you. Now I'm all alone.

Todd: Oh, somebody break out a violin. Or maybe a ukulele.

Dani: Hey, you're not alone. You still have me.

Ross: Oh. Oh! You are the best.

Todd: Okay. I think that's enough. Please get the hell out of my house.

Dani: Get out?

Todd: Oh, I'll give him a head start before I call the cops, but yeah.

Ross: I'm not going anywhere without my daughter. . No way, Manning.

Todd: You really think you're gonna take Dani?

Ross: You heard me. My daughter comes with me.

Todd: She's not your daughter.

Dani: Okay, no, stop.

Todd: He can't. You know good and well you're not gonna be--

Ross: I'm the only father she's ever known. She would have never even spoken to you again if I hadn't pushed her to it. I made her come back to Llanview, and, honey, I'm sorry I did that.

Dani: It's okay.

Todd: Yeah, it's okay. She's home now.

Ross: No. No way, Manning. I'm the one that saw her take her first step, put her first tooth under the pillow. I'm the one who helped her--who taught her how to swim, picked her up when she fell. I'm her home. I'm her dad.

Todd: That's because I never had the chance to be.

Ross: Because you were too busy screwing up your other kids.

Dani: Okay, no, no, no. Both of you stop it now.

Todd: Listen, this man's delusional, Dani. You shouldn't listen to a word he says.

Ross: No, no, no. My whole life has been about wanting to raise my daughter. And now that Téa's gone, that's exactly what I'm gonna do again.

Greg: Take a look at the shadow.

Eli: Okay.

Greg: That's a subdural hematoma.

Eli: What does that mean, like a bruise?

Greg: No. It's a pool of blood sitting on your brain. You suffered a major trauma. And you see the tears on the vein there and there? Now, blood from the vessels filled the subdural spaces in your skull. That's causing the pressure.

Eli: So...what happens, then?

Greg: Well, worst case scenario, you could die.

Gigi: Do you think my son will be ashamed of me if I'm a waitress forever?

Rex: No. Shane will love you no matter what.

Gigi: Why does it matter to you? How did this get so intense?

Rex: You're the one who stood up and said that you wanted more. All I'm saying is, I want that for you, too. You want to be happy. You're not happy serving drinks here at Rodi's.

Gigi: I wasn't happy at L.U. today either.

Rex: Here's the difference. School is a stop in the road. This is a destination.

Gigi: Yeah.

Rex: You need better classes, Morasco. That's all. You'll find the right ones.

Gigi: I will.

Rex: Yes! She's back!

Cristian: Excuse me, guys. We need some champagne.

Rex: That's what I'm talking about. What are you celebrating?

Layla: Not getting married.

Clint: But the truth is, and I learned this the hard way, is that Nora and Bo belong together, always have, so it worked out for the best.

Inez: You're very forgiving.

Clint: Time to move on.

Inez: Is this...

Clint: No.

Inez: I mean, have you been--

Clint: Nope. This is not the first salad I've had since then. Ha ha ha! But it is the nicest time I've had in quite a while. How about you?

Inez: Oh, this is my very first salad out in a really long time.

Clint: Ah! Well, here's to a lot more dinners out for you.

Dorian: How dare you!

Inez: Is that--

Clint: Our beloved mayor, yes. Appears to be having a bad day.

Dorian: But at least you finally showed your true natures.

Bo: What?

Nora: What just happened here?

Dorian: I heard you!

Bo: Well, at least the old bat's hearing still works. Can you believe that I was almost her father-in-law?

Nora: Oh, God, you so dodged a bullet.

Dorian: That is it!

Nora: What--I don't understand--

Kelly: Dorian!

Nora: Oh!

Bo: What the hell?

Dorian: They're finally showing their true--

Bo: What the hell got into you?

Dorian: I'll tell you what got into me!

Kelly: Dorian, let's go.

Dorian: You do not deserve to have me in your family!

Bo: Yeah, you're damn right about that, now, get out of here!

Dorian: I was just fine, you know, until your handsome son and his lying face came at me and lured me back--

Kelly: Dorian, the car's out front.

Dorian: And what did he do? He did nothing!

Kelly: Let's go.

Dorian: Kelly, stop it. He did nothing but stomp on my heart, on my very soul.

Bo: Give me a break!

Dorian: And excuse me! What are you all staring at? I hope you enjoyed the show.

Nora: Oh, thank you. Well, you have it on yourself, too.

Inez: That poor woman. You think she's gonna be okay?

Clint: Hard to say. It runs in the family. All the Cramer women are a little loosely packed, if you know what I mean. It was only a matter of time before Dorian became unraveled, too.

Todd: You can revise history all you want, Ross, but even if you weren't a fugitive, you have no legal right to Dani.

Ross: Yeah, that's where you're wrong, dude. Law's on my side and Téa put it there.

Cristian: To Paris.

Layla: And to the newest artist in residence at Llanview University.

Rex: Oh, and the newest soon-to-be star freshman.

Layla: Gigi?

Gigi: Yeah.

Rex: She started today.

Gigi: I have to restart tomorrow, though. I picked all the wrong classes.

Layla: Why don't you take Cris' art class?

Cristian: Yeah, no prerequisites and you get to sling paint around.

Gigi: Oh! Well, that sounds like a good time. Sign me up!

[Glasses clink]

Gigi: Rex, honey, what are we toasting for you?

Rex: My next very profitable case, whatever that might be. All right.

Clint: Are you leaving already?

Nora: I'm soaked!

Bo: Dorian's lost her mind.

Clint: There's breaking news.

Nora: I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Clint: What did you two say to her?

Bo: We were talking budget numbers. All of a sudden, Dorian snapped.

Inez: It seemed like she has a broken heart.

Nora: Yeah, well, if she had--

Bo: Huh huh.

Nora: Yeah, it's a broken heart. That's it.

Clint: That poor old girl.

Bo: Really?

Clint: Your son really did a number on her.

Bo: It takes two.

Clint: It only took one to run away. Bo, you gotta face it. David Vickers is worthless trash. Always has been, always will be.

Kelly: I am so sorry.

Dorian: For what?

Kelly: Now you're banned from the Palace.

Dorian: Oh, banned from the Palace by a former hooker and madam! How do things like this happen?

Kelly: I'm sure it's only temporary.

Dorian: I don't care.

Kelly: Oh, no. No, no. Please don't do that. Come on.

Dorian: Look, I tried kicking butt and taking names.

Kelly: You did, and it was going so well. What the hell happened?

Dorian: Ohh... Bo and Nora just as much said that I got what I deserved.

Kelly: They said that?

Dorian: Well, it just was dripping off them. I am never gonna be humiliated like that again.

Kelly: You know what, you have nothing to be ashamed of. David, is the one who treated you like dirt.

Dorian: David dumped me, okay? Now, can we please not go there? And I don't want to talk about this anymore. Will you please excuse me? Please?

Kelly: Okay, okay.

Dorian: Oh.

Kelly: You get butterscotch ice cream or raspberry vodka. You choose.

Dorian: Just go. Go.

Kelly: Okay. Okay. At least take your clothes off, your nylons, your jewelry. Wash your face.

Eli: Oh, come on. I'm not gonna die from a bruise.

Greg: No, you'll die from the build-up of pressure in your skull, which will cause severe brain damage. At that point, death would probably be a relief.

Eli: Oh, you're really enjoying this, aren't you, Doc.

Greg: No. I'm trying to get your attention, Eli. This isn't some little bruise that you can take a pill and forget about it. You have an active bleed going on. At the very least, you need to be carefully monitored. You might even need brain surgery, a craniotomy.

Eli: Oh, okay. You know what, this timing really stinks. But if you insist, Doc, just do it. Get it over with. Fix me now.

Greg: Okay, so, first I need to take your blood pressure.

Eli: Oh, you don't need to do that, Doc, 'cause I can tell you right now it's really high from you jerking me around!

Greg: You're not helping this. You need to calm down. Now, get back into the bed.

Eli: It's fine. I'm all right now. I feel much better. Thank you.

Greg: Listen to me. You need to stop moving around. It's a miracle that you even made it here.

Eli: Doc, you don't understand. I need to get on a plane, tomorrow at the latest.

Greg: Eli, do you know what will happen inside your skull at 30,000 feet? No. You're not getting on that plane. Whatever you need to take care of back in the states will just have to wait.

Eli: Wait a minute. That's what this is all about, isn't it? You're trying to keep me from going back to Llanview, aren't you? Aren't you?

Todd: Dani, go upstairs. Let me take care of this.

Dani: No, I'm staying.

Ross: No, no, stay, stay. I want you to hear this. Your mom wanted you with me.

Dani: How can you say that?

Todd: Yeah. How can you say what Téa wanted?

Ross: I have her will.

Cristian: All right, well, we better get you packed.

Layla: And you have to get ready for class tomorrow.

Cristian: Yeah. Oh, 10:00, in the center art building, room 12.

Gigi: All right, I'll be there.

Rex: See you guys later.

Layla: Bye.

[Keys jingling]

Cristian: We're really doing this?

Layla: Hold hands and jump.

Gigi: Jeff's coming on shift now. I gotta go sign up for my classes.

Rex: Excellent!

Gigi: Thank you for not giving up on me.

Rex: Any time.

Bo: Inez, I'll see you in the morning?

Inez: Bright and early.

Nora: Enjoy your dinner. Clint?

Clint: What? I'm sorry. I'm updating my page.

Bo: Updating your what? What, are you on myface?

Clint: I keep a presence there, for business.

Dorian: "David Vickers Buchanan loves a good foam party." Uhh!

Rex: Hey!

Kelly: Hey. How free is your work schedule? Scratch that. How many jobs do you have to cancel to take mine?

Rex: Don't worry about it. What's up?

Kelly: I need to hire you full time. I will double your rate because I need you to work fast.

Rex: Well, you're a tough negotiator. Okay, I'll take the job. What is it?

Kelly: Find David Vickers.

Clint: You two aren't going, are you? Come on, the night is young.

Nora: I'm a mess!

Clint: You look fine. Why don't you stay for dessert?

Greg: What, you think I'm making this up?

Eli: Well, why not?

Greg: Yeah, I made up the pain in your head.

Eli: You did come up with a pretty extreme story to explain it.

Greg: Okay. So, then go ahead. Go on. Get on the plane.

Eli: It's my funeral?

Greg: You said it.

Eli: Listen, Doc, how long is it gonna take to fix me up?

Greg: I can't say yet.

Eli: 'Cause I really need to get back to Llanview and collect.

Greg: Collect?

Eli: My brother's about to come into something very valuable.

Ross: It's your copy. I have another one.

Todd: So this is Téa's last will and testament, huh?

Ross: Yeah, check it out. Signed, notarized.

Dani: Dad, what's going on?

Ross: You see, sweetheart, in the end, your mom knew that what you really needed was to be with the one person who loves you as much as she did. That would be me. So she made me your legal guardian. Not Todd.

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