OLTL Transcript Wednesday 8/18/10

One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 8/18/10

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Episode # 10755

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Kelly: Rex, why aren't you dressed?

Rex: I am dressed. Not you--Kelly. And I'm guessing she's here hoping we've proved that Eli Clarke is Bennett Thompson, murderer.

Natalie: I've had the computer rebuilding it since last night. It's a big job, but I've made progress on one particular page.

Rex: What's on the page?

Natalie: A picture.

Rex: Perfect. We're getting there.

Kelly: Well, we better get there fast. Eli's engaged to my cousin. That means everybody in my family is in danger.

Brody: How's my baby doing?

Jessica: Restless. Daddy left this morning before we got to say good-bye.

Brody: I'm sorry about that. I had to get out before dawn. John has me on special assignment.

Jessica: Surveillance?

Brody: Protection.

James' voice: So, what do you say, Langston? Want to go out?

Langston's voice: I would love to.

Cole: Hey, you're up early. I didn't even feel you leave the bed.

Starr: Yeah. I couldn't sleep.

Cole: Well, I missed you.

Starr: Sorry.

Cole: Did bad dreams wake you up?

James: Yo, Bobby. Rise and shine. Hey, we need to talk. I hope you're decent. That's weird. Since when do you get up before 10:00?

Ford: You can't do this.

John: Do what?

Ford: Keep me locked up all night without arresting me. I know my rights.

John: What do you think this is? TV?

Ford: I--I get a lawyer. I know that much.

John: Well, then you know it takes a while to get one. I put in a call last night, but since it was so late...

Ford: That's when you decided to pick me up!

John: Don't worry. I'm sure we'll find you one. Hey, maybe we can call Eli Clarke. He did such a great job with Hannah O’Connor. You two can talk about how you covered for him when he bashed your head in. What do you think? Should I make the call?

Eli: Oh, so Hannah O’Connor is still receiving medical treatment but is not cleared for visitors. I see. I see. Oh, as per John McBain. Fantastic. No, no, no. Thank you.

Blair: Everything all right?

Eli: Better than all right. Today you are gonna make me the happiest man in the world.

Blair: Mmm.

Dorian: Dorian Lord is the happiest person in the world, thanks to David Vickers.

David: Uh, Buchanan. David Vickers Buchanan is the happiest person in the world, thanks to Dorian Lord.

Dorian: Mayor Dorian Lord.

David: I love it when you talk politics to me.

Dorian: I love it when you love it when I talk politics to you.

David: No, I love it more.

Dorian: I love you more.

David: You more.

Blair: What the hell is that?

Dorian: PDA, of course. Ha ha ha! Hi, sweetheart. I'm so glad you're here. We've got wonderful news.

Blair: So do we. As morbidly curious I am with your news, our news tops it. We are getting married today.

David: You can’t.

Blair: Why not?

Dorian: Because we're getting married today. 

Blair: I'm sorry. What--what did you just say?

Dorian: We're getting married.

Langston: What did you just say?

David: We're getting married. It gets better every time we say it.

Langston: Is this some kind of practical joke or something?

Blair: Well, if it is, it certainly isn't funny.

David: You wouldn't know funny if it jaywalked across your face.

Langston: I can't believe this.

David: Well, you can believe it, baby. I'm gonna be your daddy. I'm gonna be your papa. Come on. Give your papa a hug.

Jessica: Protection? For who? Where?

Brody: Back away from the keyboard. This isn't a "Sun" story.

Jessica: Oh, come on, Brody. I'm not trying to take advantage--

Brody: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I got to run.

Jessica: Brody, wait. I don't care about who, what, where, or anything. I just--I just want you to be careful, okay? You have a kid to worry about now.

Natalie: This baby could just as easily be yours as it could be John’s.

Brody: You don't have to remind me of that. My family is all I can think about.

Jessica: Me, too. I love you.

Brody: Love you.

Ford's voice: You're--you're pregnant? When did you find out? When were you gonna tell me?

Jessica's voice: Stop it!

Ford's voice: Okay. Okay, wait. You slept with your fiancé, right? We were one time, barely even that.

Jessica's voice: Right. There's barely any chance this baby could be yours.

Rex: My client's chomping at the bit for results.

Natalie: Well, tell Kelly to keep her pants on. This is a big job. You can't rush it.

Rex: Natalie says hi.

Kelly: Just be careful about John, right? We can't let him know what we're up to.

Rex: Now, you're being careful about John, right? We can't let him know what we're up to.

Natalie: What does she think? This is my first rodeo? Tell her that I'm a pro, okay? I know what I'm doing.

Rex: She says thanks for the reminder.

Kelly: Right.

Natalie: I got to get back to work, okay? Talk to you later.

Rex: Okay, so that's it. Things are coming along. There's not much we can do until Natalie’s doohickey does its thing.

Kelly: Okay. Well, I'll wait.

Rex: Knock yourself out. I'm gonna grab a shower.

[Cell phone rings]

Kelly: Hi, Jess. What's up?

Jessica: I need to talk to you. I'm in big trouble.

Starr: I'm usually out cold, so it must have been nightmares.

Cole: You have any idea what they were about?

Starr: Oh, I can't remember. Not like I would want to. So the "Sun" is probably here by now.

Cole: Yeah. You think that lifetime subscription is ever gonna run out?

Starr: I think my dad renewed it as one of my other graduation presents.

Brody: ...Was a first-round knockout.

Starr: Brody?

Brody: Starr.

Starr: What are you doing here?

Cole: It's like you're standing guard or something.

Starr: Standing guard for who?

James: Bobby, hey, it's me. I looked for you this morning. You must have left already. Hey, listen, give me a call. I want to know what happened between you and that cop last night.

John: What are you waiting for? Call Eli.

Ford: Let's not get too hasty. What are my options?

John: Your options begin with you telling me everything I need to know about Clarke.

Ford: And if I don't? You can't keep me cooped up in here much longer without somebody higher up finding out that you've been taking certain liberties.

John: Well, if you're gonna cry about it, I'll let you go right now.

Ford: Yeah, right.

John: Right after I leak to Clarke that you came here of your own free will and started singing like a canary.

Ford: You know that's not what happened.

John: I don't care. It only matters what Eli thinks, right?

Ford: You can't do this! I'll sue you. I will sue you, and people are gonna find out, and you're gonna lose your badge!

Natalie: Oh!

John: Hey, you okay?

Natalie: I got it. Thanks.

John: So, what are you up to?

Natalie: Um, me? I'm--paperwork. I just don't want it to get mixed up. What about you? You giving someone the third degree in there?

John: This guy, he's nothing.

Kelly: What's up?

Jessica: Surprise. It's another emergency.

Kelly: What is it?

Jessica: I just--I can't really talk about it over the phone.

Kelly: Okay. All right. Say no more. I will be there as quickly as I can. Bye.

Rex: Was that Natalie?

Kelly: Uh, I have to go.

Rex: Where's the fire?

Kelly: I'll be back later.

Rex: How much later?

Kelly: I don't know. Later, and when I am back, you better be dressed--more dressed.

Rex: Sounds like later could be a long time.

David: Langston, now that I'm gonna be your stepfather, I want you to know the time that you tried to seduce me while your boyfriend was videotaping us in the closet--it's all forgiven.

Blair: Dorian, tell your fiancé to keep his hands and his forgiveness to himself.

David: Blair, you're gonna have to start showing me a lot more respect, and you can start by calling me uncle. I will no longer tolerate your come-ons, by the way. My heart only has room for one goddess.

Dorian: Oh, David. All right, girls. I'm waiting.

Langston and Blair: For what?

Dorian: Your best wishes, expressions of your insatiable curiosity as to where we're going on our honeymoon.

David: And what we'll be doing on our honeymoon.

Blair: Okay, you know what? We just thank the good Lord that you overcame yourselves and admitted that you love each other.

Langston: Yeah.

Blair: Because you've been at each other's throats since this jerk came back to town.

David: You know, Blair, I should really give you props. I guess you knew from experience--Todd--that we fight hardest with the people that we love the most. You'll never get over him. By the bye, how are you and this Eli fella getting along these days?

Blair: Just fine, thank you.

David: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Dorian: Okay, can we take a time-out here? Yes, it is true that David and I wasted a lot of the last few months denying our profound and undying love for each other. We--we were blinded by our mistrust and our pride. But like all great relationships--

David: Bonnie and Clyde, Romeo and Juliet, Sid and Nancy.

Langston: They all died.

Dorian: Yes, but our relationship has survived because we've gotten over ourselves and we're back together again.

David: And better than ever, and it's lucky for you two, also. There's gonna be some changes around here, big-time.

Langston: Like?

David: Langston, you have to ask? You, of all people? So listen up. There's been a little too much chaos in these hallowed halls, a few too many shed tears unnecessarily. What this family--have that fixed. What this family needs is a strong male influence, someone to get the Cramer girls back on track, back in the saddle, someone to show you how to bring sexy back, as it were.

Blair: Is Ray Montez still single, Dorian?

David: Langston, I want you to know that your poor choices in romance, they have not escaped me.

Langston: Excuse me?

David: But it's not too late. You're not getting any younger, though. Now that you're off to college, you can start working on your Mrs. degree--missis, that is.

Langston: Okay, please tell me he's not serious so I don't have to kill him.

Dorian: David, I don't think this is the time--

David: No, no, no. It's okay. I can handle this. Langston, it's high time we got you a new man.

Cole: Brody, what's going on?

Starr: Yeah, why are you here?

Brody: I can't tell you much. I don't have any details.

Cole: But you're watching us?

Starr: Are we in danger? Is this about Hannah?

Brody: Again, I can't tell you anything.

Cole: Look, who told you to guard us? You have to know that? Brody, we have a kid, all right? If Starr is in trouble, if I'm in trouble, so is Hope. Brody, look, I heard you're gonna be a dad, right? If it was you or Jessica, if it was your kid--

Brody: All John said was to keep you safe.

Cole: John? You stay here with Hope.

Starr: Cole, come on. Where are you going?

Cole: To get some answers.

Brody: Flynn.

Flynn: Got it.

Kelly: Okay, I'm here. What's up?

Jessica: Ford and I had sex.

Kelly: What? When? Where?

Jessica: No, no. Kelly, not recently. You know, at Ford's old place the night of the prom.

Kelly: Okay, right. Okay. Oh, my God. That's the reason Ford got tested for an std the other day.

Jessica: Yeah. He lied to us about having sex with me, even after you told him about the Hep C.

Kelly: How do you know this?

Jessica: Well, I went to his place like we said, and I confronted him, and he spilled his guts.

Kelly: Okay. What did he say?

Jessica: First of all, he was mad at me about prying into his business, and then when I told him that I was pregnant, it dawned on him that possibly he could be the father. He acted like it was my fault that he lied to us about having sex with me.

Kelly: Your fault?

Jessica: Mm-hmm, because my boyfriend is a Navy Seal who could kill him.

Kelly: He's a piece of work.

Jessica: Oh, I was so angry I just wanted to call Brody right then and there and just watch him do it.

Kelly: Well, that's understandable but probably not the best solution.

Jessica: I can't believe that we believed him in the first place.

Kelly: You know what? You can't worry about that right now. What's done is done. The best thing you can do is try to stay calm.

Jessica: Kelly, nothing is done. The entire world knows that I am pregnant, and everybody, including Brody, thinks that it's his except me.

Brody: I know you got to be worried. It must be kind of nerve-wracking for you and Cole, John playing this one so close to the vest.

Starr: Yeah, kind of.

Brody: But for my money, me being here is just an added precaution, nothing to freak out about.

Starr: Thanks for saying that, Brody. It does put my mind at ease a little bit, but I don't think it would help Cole, though.

Brody: Yeah, he seemed pretty bound and determined to get his own answers.

Starr: Well, he's in protection mode right now. But I'm sorry that he brought Jessica and your baby into it.

Brody: That's okay. He's right. I was just surprised at how fast the news traveled.

Starr: Well, my Aunt Viki was so excited about it, she couldn't hold it in, but congratulations. I'm really happy for you guys.

Brody: I'm pretty happy myself.

Starr: It's crazy timing, huh? Jessica and Natalie having their babies around the same time. I mean, it's like someone planned it.

Brody: Right.

John: Well, good luck today. You got your doctor's appointment later on, right?

Natalie: Uh, right. Yeah, I don't think too much happens in these early ones. Just blah, blah, blah.

John: You mean medical information?

Natalie: Yeah, something like that.

John: Hey, listen, try to listen to what the doc says, okay? I want to know everything. This is our kid we're talking about. Excuse me.

Cole: John, I need to talk to you.

Flynn: I'm sorry, boss, but the kid insisted on talking--

John: It's all right. You did the right thing.

Natalie: I got to get back to work anyway, so I'll see you later.

John: Yeah?

Natalie: Yeah.

John: Okay. I'll see you later. You look pretty. What's going on?

Cole: Today Starr opened the door, and there was Brody and that other guy.

John: I should have called you.

Cole: Why are they tailing us?

John: Listen, this is gonna be hard to understand, but it's nothing to worry about.

Cole: You have cops watching us, me and Starr and our little girl. This is my family here. How can't I worry?

John: Cole, the fellas were there just in case, all right?

Cole: In case--in case of what? John, I have a right to know. Does this have anything to do with Hannah?

John: She may not be guilty after all.

Langston: Mrs. degree? Are you kidding?

David: Funny, right? I came up with it by myself. You can use it if you want.

Langston: Ha ha ha.

Eli: If you'll all please excuse us for a minute.

Blair: Yes, thanks.

Dorian: Sweetheart, I think what David meant is--

Langston: Dorian, I am so happy for you. Really I am, but if you don't put a muzzle on your fiancé, I swear I'm gonna rip his Neanderthal lips right off of his face.

Eli: Please, for the love of all that's holy, let me whisk you away from this nonsense.

Blair: I love you for wanting to do that, but that nonsense will follow me wherever I go.

David: Langston, violent behavior and bad taste--it's not a combination that men like.

Langston: Okay, ripping lips off right now.

David: Help me.

Blair: All that craziness in there is just a taste of what life is gonna be like when you're married to me. Add Todd, my mom, my kids, everybody else. Are you sure you want to go through with it?

Eli: All of it. I want all of it as long as it gets me you.

Blair: Oh, my gosh. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful man? It's just too bad we're gonna have to postpone the wedding yet again. Sorry about that.

Eli: No, no, no. Absolutely not. No. No matter what it takes, Blair, we are getting married today.

Dorian: Time out.

[Doorbell rings]

Dorian: Oh, wait. Doorbell. Saved by. Come on, darling. Please. Would you take care of that? David and I need to, um, have a little talk. Please?

Langston: You can't hide behind her forever, David.

David: Oh, I'm very good at hiding from people who scare me.

Langston: Good.

David: All right. I guess it's time to boogie, huh? The mani-pedi, salt scrub. Hair alone takes 3 hours. I'm sure there's a few things you need to do, too.

Dorian: Sweetheart, I cannot conceive of going ahead with our wedding when we still have to work out this situation with Blair and Elijah. Excuse me.

Langston: What are you doing here?

Dorian: Darling, Elijah has something he wants to say to us.

Eli: Now, I may be speaking out of turn, and I'm only talking as your lawyer, Dorian. I know you guys have been apart for a very long time that I'm certain was very difficult for you. But do you think it might be more prudent, based on the circumstances, that the two of you postpone your nuptials for a little while?

David: What is this? Who are you? Are you saying that Dorian and I won't last?

Blair: No, that is not what he's saying.

David: Because I have news for--listen to me. I have news for you. You're just another flash in Blair’s pants. See? I stick up for you. Dorian and I are the real thing--true love.

Dorian: Right. Right. Absolutely, and that is why in the spirit of true love, since Blair and I haven't had much luck with men in the past few years--

David: Hey!

Dorian: Okay, Blair hasn't had much luck.

Blair: Hello? I'm here.

Dorian: Darling, that is why I want you to have exactly the kind of wedding with Elijah that you want to have.

David: Heard that loud and clear.

Dorian: Thank you.

David: Does that mean we're taking a rain check or what?

Dorian: Not at all. It means I have a solution. We'll have a double wedding.

Dorian: A double wedding! Isn't that a wonderful idea?

David: Anything you want, buttercup.

Blair: Dorian--Dorian, look at me.

Dorian: What?

Blair: Remember the fiasco that we caused at the last double wedding that hit Llanview? Come on.

Dorian: Yes, but Chiki and Clora still went ahead with their ill-advised marriages, didn't they?

David: Maybe if you and Dorian got even drunker and made even more of a scene, nobody would have gotten married, and everybody would be happier now.

Blair: Dorian, you don't really want to share the same wedding day as us, do you, really? Come on.

Dorian: On the contrary, sweetheart. I would feel honored and blessed to share the space in front of the altar with you and with Eli. I mean, we have such an abundance of happiness and joy. And, David, especially after our first failed attempt to get married...

David: Yeah, you keep your eye on the joy. Glass is half full stuff.

Dorian: Right. Ha ha. Right. And, Eli, I'm not forgetting about you. You, after all, are the new kid in town.

Eli: Oh.

Dorian: And believe me, it's a very good way for you to connect with the Llanview elite to align yourself with the Cramer family. And this wedding, after all...Mayor Dorian Lord and David Vickers Buchanan...

David: I'm a Buchanan.

Dorian: Is going to be the hottest ticket in town.

Blair: Ticket?

Dorian: Absolutely. Are you kidding? I mean, look at you and Eli and David. I mean, this wedding may be very spontaneous, but it is filled with passion and beauty, and it's going to put every little tight country club debutante cotillion to shame.

Blair: Okay, are you marrying this man because you love him, or you just want to show Viki up?

Dorian: I want to show this town just exactly who the Cramer women are.

David: Ahem.

Dorian: And who the men they love are.

David: There you go.

Dorian: Okay! So, who's in this with me?

Eli: I am. The heck with it--I love you, Blair.

Blair: Eli...

Eli: I've waited too long to stand before God and your family and make you mine. So if a double wedding is the only way you and I get married today, I'm all about it.

Dorian: Yay!

David: Blair, aren't you going to say yes? You always say yes when a guy asks you to marry him.

Langston: Um--huh. If this is about that date, I thought you were going to call.

James: Actually, I was wondering if you'd seen my brother.

Langston: Why? What's wrong?

James: Probably nothing. It's just Bobby was gone before I got up this morning, and he's not exactly an early riser. So I figured if he went anywhere, it'd be here to see you.

Langston: Why would you think that? Weren't you the one who said he didn't want anything to do with me? Isn't that you--why you asked me out?

James: Yeah. You know, since I'm here, why don't we make good on that date right now?

Langston: Why don't you just admit it?

James: What?

Langston: You're only asking me out to drive Starr crazy.

Brody: I don't know how to explain Jess and Natalie’s pregnancies, other than to chalk it up to a crazy coincidence.

Starr: Well, I didn't mean to make it sound like you and John and Natalie and Jessica all sat down and planned on when you were going to have your babies together.

Brody: Right.

Starr: I'm sure it was a happy accident.

Brody: Right.

Starr: And I'm just really happy for you guys, especially Jessica.

[Computer chimes]

Starr: I know how hard her last pregnancy was. I'm really glad that she's going to have you by her side.

Brody: I am, too.

[Computer chimes again]

Starr: Oh, my God--I'm sorry. I should have logged off of MyFace earlier. "Mayor Dorian Lord is marrying David Vickers Buchanan today"? Oh, and "David Vickers Buchanan is marrying Mayor Dorian Lord today" and "Blair Cramer is marrying Elijah Clarke today"? Today? Cole's safe at the police station, right?

Brody: Absolutely.

Starr: Can you drop off me and Hope at Dorian's?

Cole: I--I knew it. I knew it. I've been saying it for weeks. Something wasn't right about Hannah's confession. It's bogus, isn't it?

John: All right, all right. Let's keep it down, all right?

Cole: Look, she didn't attack Ford, and she didn't push my mom down those stairs.

John: All I can say is, the investigation is open.

Cole: Okay, but it was closed a couple days ago after she confessed to those two crimes. So what happened? I mean, did you find new evidence? Was that how you figured out why Hannah lied? Or did you I.D. another suspect?

John: Cole, I'm in the middle of an interview right now, okay?

Cole: Wait--hey, hey...that's it, isn't it? Do you know who really did it? Are you interrogating him right now?

Kelly: Okay, this is how it's going to be. We're not going to lose our heads.

Jessica: Clearly, you don't know me very well these days.

Kelly: Mm-hmm. We're not going to jump the gun and assume the worst. We're going to go ahead and reassess the situation. We're going to step back and figure out what your next move is.

Jessica: Kelly, I appreciate that you are the voice of reason, but I understand my situation very, very clearly, okay? It's really messed up. I could be pregnant with Ford's baby.

Kelly: But you could be pregnant with Brody's. You don't know.

Jessica: Either way, I had sex with another man and Brody doesn't know anything about it.

Kelly: One thing at a time. What did Ford say when you told him you were pregnant?

Jessica: Uh, he couldn't have cared less.

Kelly: Are you sure he didn't suddenly feel all fatherly when he heard the news?

Jessica: Kelly, we are talking about Robert Ford. You know, the dog of Llanview U?

Kelly: I know, I know. Just some guys, they stick to you like crazy glue when they hear about a baby, and some others, you know, they take it a little slower.

Jessica: There's nothing slow about Ford at all. If he had been a cartoon character, he would have disappeared into a cloud of dust.

Kelly: Do you think we can trust him to keep his mouth shut?

Jessica: I told him that the baby's Brody's and he seemed happy to take my word for it. But even if he doesn't want anything to do with this child, can I trust him to keep his mouth shut? It's Ford.

[Loud knocking on door]

Rex: Ugh.

[Rex pants]

Rex: Hey, what's going on?

Natalie: Got it.

Rex: Nice!

Jessica: Did I just hear you correctly that David and Dorian are getting married?

Kelly: And so are Blair and Eli.

Jessica: Well, good for them.

Kelly: No. No, no, no. No, that's very bad. That's very, very bad.

Jessica: I don't understand. Why is it bad that Blair and Eli are getting married?

Kelly: Well, I don't even have enough time to get into that with you. Rex apparently needs me.

Jessica: Okay, go. Get out of here.

Kelly: I'm so sorry.

Jessica: It's fine, it's fine. There's nothing either one of us can do about this right now. I just--I just needed to vent a little bit, okay?

Kelly: Okay. Remember, don't do anything rash.

Jessica: I'm not going to.

Kelly: Okay. Good, because you could really be getting yourself worked up over something that really isn't anything. You're not going to know for sure until you know whose baby you're carrying.

Jessica: Got it, Kelly. Scram. Get out of here.

Kelly: I'm going to call you later.

Jessica: Okay.

Cole: John, I have the right to know what you're protecting me and my family from. All right, come on, you got to bring me in the loop here.

John: You know I can't do that. I got my hands full trying to plug all these leaks, Cole.

Cole: Well, I can keep my shut. Look, I worked undercover for you.

John: I know. I know, which is why I can't risk putting you in harm's way again. Your mom will kill me.

Cole: Yeah, and my mom needs justice for what happened to her. And so does Hannah.

John: You got to trust me on this one, Cole. All right? This is a very delicate situation. The fewer people know, the less chance there is of something going off the rails.

Cole: So there's nothing I can do?

John: Not unless you want to jeopardize the case we're building. Let us--look at me. Let us get justice for Hannah and your mom.

Cole: Yeah, I know you will.

John: I'll let you know when everything's safe as soon as I know, all right? You have my word on that. But for right now, you got to let Officer Flynn take you home.

Cole: And what? Just wait?

John: Just lie low, all right? And play it cool. Let us do our job. Okay?

Cole: Okay. Hey, John... thanks for looking out for me and Starr. You make sure you do whatever it takes to catch this bastard.

John: Already on it. So, you ready to talk? Or you want to take your chances with Eli?

Dorian: You know something? I'm going to call Andrew Carpenter and ask him to officiate.

Blair: He's the priest at Saint James. You're going to love him.

Eli: Oh, a priest? I was actually hoping for a justice of the peace.

Dorian: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. The Carpenters go way back in this town.

James: Why do you care why I'm asking you out? Aren't you going out with me just to stick it to my brother? Look, come on. I promise it'll be painless. Well, maybe not for Bobby.

Eli: Then a priest it is. Can't wait to meet him.

Dorian: Oh, wait. I just realized...Andrew’s out of the country. Some sort of church exchange.

Eli: Hmm.

Langston: Okay, just wanted to say I'll see you guys later.

David: Now, now, Langston. Perhaps you'd like to introduce us to your little friend.

Dorian: Yes, darling, it's only good manners.

Langston: Uh, fine. Everybody, this is James. James, this is everybody.

David: James, I'm David Buchanan.

James: Hey.

David: Not so fast. You have a job?

Blair: Do you?

David: Blair, I am in character. I'm trying to make sure that our little girl doesn't date below her station.

[Langston sighs]

James: This is your dad?

Langston: Oh, God, no. And on that note, we're going to get out of here. Good-bye.

Dorian: Honey, where are you going?

Langston: We have plans.

Dorian: Yes, but what about our wedding?

Langston: Oh, God, that's still happening?

David: Of course it is.

Dorian: Absolutely, darling, and I want you to be my maid of honor.

David: I need a best man.

Blair: I'm going to need somebody to stand with me, too. I'd better call Starr.

Starr: Okay, bye, Hope! Thank you so much, Grandma!

[Starr sighs]

Starr: Look, my family's going to be in there, so I don't need your protection anymore.

Brody: Sorry, I've got my orders. But my replacement just came in.

Starr: And he's someone that I don't even know.

Brody: Well, he's going to be stationed outside. He's not going to cramp your style, but you'd better check in with him before you leave.

Starr: You know, if you're this protective with your kid, you're going to be a great father. Hmm.

[Door opens and closes]

David: I wonder who will have the honor of being my best man.

Blair: That depends on how much you shell out, I'm sure.

Starr: Wow, so it's true what I read on MyFace?

Blair: There you are. I was just getting ready to call you. How does a double wedding sound to you?

Starr: It sounds great! Congratulations!

Blair: Thank you, gorgeous.

Starr: I'm so excited for you. And welcome to the family.

Eli: Thank you, Starr.

Dorian: Yes, it is all very wonderful, but we haven't got much time, so everybody start getting ready.

Starr: Oh, yeah, I don't even have anything to wear. I'll go and get-- [Gasps] Whoa, what--what's going on?

David: Oh, allow me to make the introduction. Starr, this young man is--

Starr: No, I know who he--who he is. I just want to know what he's doing here. Are you here to see me or something?

James: Not exactly. I came to take Langston on our date.

Starr: Well, your timing couldn't be any worse because as you can see, our family is really busy right now, so your date'll just have to be postponed.

David: Nonsense. Langston needs a new man. He's clearly bucking for the job. I said "bucking." You can take him to the wedding.

Kelly's voice: You could really be getting yourself worked up over something that really isn't anything. You're not going to know for sure until you know whose baby you're carrying.

Jessica: Uh, yes, hello. Sorry, um...I have an appointment with Dr. Wright, and there's something I need to know. How soon into a pregnancy can a paternity test be performed?

Ford: First, I need a guarantee that I'll be protected. And immunity.

John: No harm will come to you if you cooperate.

Ford: Yeah--you'll forgive me if I need a little more than that.

John: I personally guarantee your safety. As for immunity, well, it all depends on what you can give in return.

Ford: I can give you Eli Clarke, and I can exonerate Hannah O’Connor.

[Cole sighs]

Starr: Okay, well, wait a second. Okay, I--don't you think we're just getting caught up in the moment?

David: What are you talking about? It's going to be the double wedding of the decade.

Starr: Well, I just still think that James shouldn't come.

David: Why not?

Starr: Because he's practically a stranger and this is going to be a family thing. An intimate family thing.

Dorian: Well, not all that intimate.

Starr: Oh, come on. There's going to be a bunch of people there that he doesn't know and they're all going to be getting tipsy.

Blair: Oh, come on, that happened once one wedding. Come on.

Starr: Well, and they're going to be cutting in jokes.

David: Nothing wrong with a little family history.

Starr: Plus, it'll be all, you know, sentimental.

James: I love sentimental. See?

Langston: What is that?

James: It's the bullet I got shot with. I keep it close to my heart.

Starr: Huh.

David: I definitely want to hear the rest of this story. I got to go fetch my pa. He's going to be my best man.

James: And I will definitely tell it to you at the wedding--in between dances. What time should I be ready?

Dorian: Get ready as soon as possible, because, speaking for Blair and Eli, and David now absent, we have waited long enough for this day.

Eli: Couldn't agree more.

Blair: Mmm.

Ford: Hannah O’Connor did not attack me. Eli Clarke did.

John: Why did you tell me it was Hannah?

Ford: Because Eli contacted me after I woke up in the hospital. He said he'd let me be if I accused Hannah, instead.

John: And you believed him?

Ford: But what choice did I have? I wasn't exactly in a position to object. I did what he said.

John: Why did Eli attack you in the first place?

Ford: Because... I was blackmailing him.

John: With what?

Ford: I found out he used to go by another name... Bennett Thompson.

[John sighs]

Kelly: Hey, I got your text. Is it done?

Natalie: Well, I came over as soon as the computer finished the facial reconstruction. It's only one page of the file, but I really think this is what you're looking for.

Kelly: Whoa. Jackpot.

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