OLTL Transcript Friday 1/15/10

One Life to Live Transcript Friday 1/15/10

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Episode # 10605 ~ Laurence of Suburbia

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

John: Are you gonna scream?

Dorian: Aaahhh!

Markko: What are you doing here with him, half-naked?

David: What? Who's half-naked? Oh, it's just Ford.

Ford: David.

David: The coward Robert Ford. I should have known.

Langston: Ford was just helping me.

David: Helping? Ha! All Ford's interested in doing is biting your rhymes, yo.

Dorian: Aaaahhhh!

John: You said you weren't gonna scream.

Dorian: I'll not only scream. I'll have you arrested! You? You kidnapped me?

John: Kidnapped? You know anything about a kidnapping?

Brody: Nope. We walked in and she was here. Just ended up in my bar.

Dorian: John, if this has anything to do with you losing your job, I suggest that you take that up with Commissioner Lowell because he's the one who fired you.

Brody: We thought we'd take it up with his boss--the woman who hired that bottom feeder.

John: You see, we know what you did. We want to know why.

Charlie: Okay, I just want to apologize for putting you in a position where you had to keep a secret from your mother.

Jessica: It's okay.

Charlie: No, it's not. The truth is that I have been drinking pretty regularly since Jared's funeral and I've been lying about it. Listen, Brody made me see I had to come clean with your mother.

Jessica: Well, I'm glad he was able to be there for you.

Viki: Charlie, Charlie, you didn't do anything wrong. This is a terrible, terrible time, and we're all just trying to deal with it.

Natalie: Any way that we can. Mitch drove you to drink. He practically drove me to commit murder. And now he's walking around free as a bird, trying to steal Rex's baby.

Jessica: I keep wracking my brain trying to figure out some way to get him out of our lives for good.

Natalie: Yeah, well, keep wracking.

Mitch: Buenos Dias.

Oliver: Did you report the incident of Mitch threatening Stacy and the baby?

Rex: What, to Commissioner Lowell? The guy who put Mitch back on the street? The guy who as mayor had Starr and her baby kidnapped to cover up his involvement in a drug ring?

Oliver: There has to be something we can do.

Rex: Mitch is denying it, and there's no proof he did anything except Stacy's word.

Oliver: Are you sure you can trust her?

Stacy: Don't even think about opening your mouth about the baby unless you want to lose Gigi.

Schuyler: Stacy, would you listen to yourself?

Stacy: No, you listen to me, okay? Forget about Mitch, forget about me, and most of all forget about the baby.

Schuyler: How am I supposed to do that, Stacy, when the baby you're carrying isn't even Rex's. It's mine!

Stacy: What are you doing here, lab boy?

Kyle: I just came to get a patient's chart. I didn't know anybody was in here.

Schuyler: What did you hear?

Kyle: You know what, I'm just gonna get the chart and go.

Stacy: You must have heard something. You were already in the room when Schuyler shot his mouth off. So, what did you hear?

Kyle: Fine. I heard that Rex Balsom isn't the father of your baby. He is.

Schuyler: All I meant by that was that Stacy and I go way back. We used to be a thing. So obviously I'm gonna feel some kind of paternal--

Kyle: Dude, seriously. You're a phenomenally crappy liar. You should take some lessons from your ex here.

Stacy: Okay, listen. Now that you know, you can't ever tell anyone.

Rex: Stacy has been a lying machine in the past, but I'm positive she didn't make this up. Mitch and this nurse definitely tried to drug her and take her off somewhere so they could get the baby.

Oliver: Why don't we go inside, and we can take it from the top?

Markko: Langston, why are you here with this guy in the first place?

Oliver: Or we can just talk out here.

Markko: I thought you went to go look for an apartment.

Langston: I did.

Markko: And what, Ford's the naked real estate agent?

David: You lowlife cad!

Langston: You know what, Markko, you're being ridiculous.

Markko: Am I?

Ford: I'm gonna let you two work this out and get out of here.

David: No, not so fast. I believe there's the little matter of the backend you owe me.

Rex: Mitch was ranting about wanting me and my child to join him and his brainwashed followers.

Oliver: Are you sure he wasn't talking about Shane?

Rex: Yeah, for some reason, he's obsessed with my unborn child with Stacy. Jessica has already gotten extra security at her house, especially around her daughter Bree. She's also got Brody to help keep her safe.

Oliver: So you want someone to protect Stacy and the baby.

Rex: Exactly.

Oliver: Did Mitch mention why he was so keen on taking the baby?

Rex: Yeah, he's planning for the future of his so-called church. But my kid and I aren't gonna be in it.

Mitch: You're all looking very lovely today. Viki, the mother of our child. Jessica, my darling daughter. Natalie, my blushing bride. You're looking well, also, Charlie, especially considering how you looked the last time we saw one another. For it is written, "and be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the spirit."

Charlie: Listen, you son of a--

Viki: Don't let him get to you.

Natalie: You know what else is written? "Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth."

Mitch: "But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil. But whosoever shall smite thee, turn the other cheek as well."

Natalie: Then get me a letter opener, 'cause I'd love to take you up on that offer.

Viki: Natalie. Natalie.

Mitch: Touché. I still bear the wound where I was pierced like a martyr.

Viki: Oh, please.

Charlie: My son was a martyr. He sacrificed himself for the woman he loved. You were shanked like the common criminal that you are.

Mitch: My, my, someone is certainly edgy today. Is there something in that coffee, Charlie?

John: So, break it down for us, Dorian. Why'd you fire Bo?

Brody: And appoint a freak show like Lowell commissioner.

John: The guy who tried to kill Starr and Cole and their baby.

Dorian: I know it seemed as though Lowell perpetrated all those terrible crimes, but he was working undercover.

John: Even you don't believe that undercover crap.

Dorian: Do not presume to think you know what I believe. I was a great supporter of Lowell's when he was mayor. I was on his campaign staff. And you gotta admit, he knows a lot about running the city.

John: Into the ground by aiding and abetting a narcotics operation. Lowell's a criminal. Why would you want him running your police department?

Brody: Jessica's told me how much you hate her family. Do you hate them so much you'd sell the whole town down the river to replace Bo with Lowell?

Dorian: I hired Lowell because he was the right person for the job.

John: That actually might be the only honest thing you've said so far. Lowell was the right choice because he was the only choice. You're being blackmailed by Mitch Laurence.

Viki: You can say all of the cruel things you want, but you will not hurt anyone in my family.

Mitch: I've heard your power of love speech, Viki, and it's very impressive.

Viki: Oh, the power of my family's love is impressive. Fortunately, so is the protection that we are receiving from trained professionals.

Mitch: Are you really going to keep me from reconnecting with our daughter? From getting to know my granddaughter Bree?

Viki: Yes, I am.

Jessica: You are not going anywhere near Bree. And I know that you tried to kidnap Stacy and take her baby.

Mitch: Oh, Stacy Morasco is delusional. Yes, I paid her a friendly visit. And because we all know what Stacy is like, I brought along a nurse just to make sure that her unborn child gets the very best of care.

Natalie: Bull.

Mitch: I love all my children. I would never hurt any of them. Now, you two, as mothers, I'm sure that you understand that. Sadly, you don't know that joy. But Charlie had a son--

Charlie: That's right. I had a son, but now he's gone thanks to you!

Viki: Charlie, don't let him destroy your life. Please!

Charlie: He already has.

Jessica: I know it feels that way, Charlie, but you have my mom. And you have us. Don't let him take away what you still have.

Viki: Charlie, look at me. Please, please! Just look at me. Look at me! You've got to let him go. You've got to stop now.

Dorian: Ha ha ha ha! Mitch is blackmailing me? That's really absurd. Ha ha! John.

John: Hmm.

Dorian: I wonder if you'd please undo me from this--I mean, really, I am very claustrophobic.

John: Of course. Brody?

Dorian: Thank you. And thank you.

Brody: Oh, yes. You're welcome.

John: Getting back to the story. Before you fired Bo, you met with Laurence at the hospital. You had conversations with him on the phone, right?

Dorian: I was only trying to make sure that he was returning to jail--prison, yes, indeedy.

Brody: You took that up with Mitch instead of the D.A.'s office or a judge?

Dorian: I wanted him to know that I wasn't afraid of him!

John: So after your conversations with Laurence about whether he's going back to prison or not, you made up these ridiculous charges about Bo.

Dorian: Bo dug his own grave.

John: Your next act was to get Stan Lowell out of prison, and give him the job as the city's top cop.

Brody: After everything he's done to this town.

John: I don't know, Dorian. Sounds like a lot of bad publicity to me, probably a recall. You see, I don't think you would do this unless someone was forcing your hand, and that someone is Mitch Laurence.

Dorian: Ha! For various reasons, my life is an open book. Full disclosure when I ran for office. There are no skeletons hiding in my closet. There is nothing that Mitch could possibly use against me.

John: Except the one thing you care about, and that's the safety of your girls.

David: Whoa, whoa, not so fast, fella.

Langston: I went to see an apartment down the hall, but it was already taken. So I just came here to ask if Cristian or Layla knew if anything else was available.

Markko: What was Ford doing here undressed?

Langston: Will you stop obsessing with Ford and what he was wearing? This is his home. He just moved in here. I swear to you I did not know, but here he was. And we got to talking, and he had some great ideas about my musical.

Markko: Oh, yeah. I just bet he had some ideas!

Langston: Will you stop acting like this?

Markko: Like what?

Langston: Jealous and paranoid.

Markko: Paranoid? He cast a girl on David's show who looks exactly like you and cast himself as the love interest.

Langston: Seriously?

Markko: Seriously.

Langston: Well, still, that's no reason to be jealous. Don't you trust me?

Markko: You? Yeah. Him? Hell, no.

David: You think you can use my name, image, and likeness to put up a show on the web?

Ford: Yeah, I do. You want to know why? Because you have no ancillary rights.

David: Yes, I certainly do, whatever those are.

Ford: Let me make this simple for you. By contract, you're not entitled to any money I make off this show.

David: Well, then, let me make this simple for you: I want a cease and desist! You take that video down right now.

Ford: How am I gonna do that? It's already gone viral. It's gotten more hits than the skateboarding cat.

David: Has it really? That cat is so funny. Remember the part-- wait a second. Now millions of people will think that I'm a card-carrying member of the nerd patrol. Where did you find that loser you recast as me anyway? I ought to sue you for damages.

Ford: Damages?

David: That's right. David Vickers is not just a man, it's a brand--a brand synonymous with panache, savoir-faire, and...

Ford: And Have-a-Seat hemorrhoid cream. But hey, if you want me to take down "ugly David", I will, as long as you know that'll end any possibility of future royalties.

David: Well, now. Not so fast.

Oliver: Rex, I want to help you, but Kyle and I barely get to see each other as it is. If I take another job--

Rex: Look, Fish, I wouldn't be asking if this were not the real deal. Mitch is serious. He and this nurse came after Stacy, and they will try again if I cannot help protect her and the baby.

Oliver: I'll ask around the station. Maybe one of the guys needs a gig.

Rex: I don't know the other guys except for Brody. And now that this new commissioner's totally corrupt and in Mitch's pocket, I can't afford to trust any of them. Bo and John trust you, therefore I trust you. I'd feel a lot better if it was you looking out after Stacy. Please, Fish, you would not hesitate if it were your baby in harm's way.

Stacy: My life is riding on this, and so is Schuy’s.

Kyle: You're still trying to do whatever you can to get Rex Balsom to pay attention to you.

Stacy: Like you don't know what that's like? Up in Fish's face every two seconds until he finally agreed to be your boyfriend? I'm actually in love.

Kyle: Yeah, and you're also about to be a mother. How much does it suck for that kid you're carrying that you're already lying about its identity? Or that its father can't man up to his responsibility.

Stacy: Are you really getting on your moral high horse after everything you've done? You switched blood records, you blackmailed Natalie Buchanan--

Kyle: I did that for you, Stacy! Okay, I'm not happy with what I did. But I've moved on now. That was then, and this is now. I got my life back on track and I know what's important.

Schuyler: So, Kyle, are you saying you're going to tell Rex the truth?

John: Is that it, Dorian? Laurence is threatening to hurt the girls if you don't do what he wants? I know you love your family. You love them enough to risk them hating you if you thought you were protecting them.

Dorian: I'm really sorry, but this is just so convoluted, I'm having trouble following.

John: I know, but that's why you put Lowell in, isn't it? Because Laurence dangled hurting them against you hiring someone who would set him free.

Dorian: And have you shared this ridiculous theory with anybody else?

Langston: I just can't deal with this! My own mother has hired the man who tried to kill Starr and her baby to be the new police commissioner. I'm trying to make lemonade out of rotten lemons by moving out and finding a new place for us. But if you're gonna be crazy jealous all the time--

Markko: I'm sorry.

Langston: Are you?

Markko: Yes, but I really think Ford has an agenda.

Langston: Well, I have an agenda of my own.

David: More hits than the skateboarding cat, huh?

Ford: Yep.

David: Ford, all I want is a fair deal. My people can mix it up with your people, but maybe we can come to terms on our own.

Ford: You're right. No reason why we can't work this out.

Markko: What's your agenda?

Langston: To be with you. Period. But you've got to stop going nuts every time I'm in the same room as Ford. You gotta trust me. Can you do that?

Markko: Of course.

Langston: Prove it.

Oliver: I guess I could put in some hours when my shift is over.

Rex: You're a lifesaver.

Oliver: But that only covers part of the day. What are you going to do the rest of the time?

Rex: When you're not watching her, I'm sticking to Stacy like glue.

Stacy: Everything is finally going my way. You're not going to ruin this for me.

Kyle: I don't even know what this is, Stacy.

Stacy: The only thing you need to know is you found it out because you're almost a doctor. And it also means you can't run yap to Rex or anybody else.

Kyle: But I know Rex, and his mother is a really good friend of mine. This is wrong!

Schuyler: She's right, Kyle. You're in med school, just like me. You have no choice but to keep your mouth shut.

Kyle: I never said I was gonna rat you out.

Schuyler: But you didn't say you wouldn't. You're skating on thin ice in med school already. You know they're gonna give you the boot if you do something stupid like compromising a patient's privacy.

Kyle: Back the hell up, Joplin.

Schuyler: All I'm saying--

Kyle: I said back the hell up!

Schuyler: All right.

Kyle: What happened to you, man? You used to be a pretty stand-up guy, right? You know what? Whatever you guys are into, I don't want any part of it. Okay?

[Kicks table]

Schuyler: This keeps getting bigger and bigger, doesn't it?

Stacy: I don't trust him. After everything I put him through last year? What if he still has it in for me? If he goes to Rex, you and Gigi are over. My sister will never forgive you if she finds out you knew the truth and you kept it from her.

Schuyler: I'll go talk to Kyle.

Stacy: Oh, kiddo. It's gonna be okay. I'm not going to let anybody get in our way. We're going to be a family: You, me, and Rex.

Viki: I think we should just go.

Charlie: No. I refuse to allow my son's murderer to run this town.

Mitch: I hear the flan's just as good as it was before this diner received its quaint little makeover. It was a gift to you from Charlie, wasn't it, to make up for a previous indiscretion with alcohol?

Viki: Mitch, that's enough.

Mitch: Oh, Viki, I am sorry if I offended. Frankly, I hate that there's so much animosity between us. I propose a truce. Let bygones be bygones.

Charlie: You call murdering my son a bygone?

Mitch: I acted in self defense when I was forced to shoot Jared. But haven't we all acted impetuously now and then? Why, Natalie recently tried to kill me. But to protect her, I claimed that John McBain did it. You all should be grateful.

Viki: We're not.

Mitch: I'm simply extending an olive branch.

Natalie: Choke on it and die.

Mitch: But darling, you know I never stay dead.

John: You're afraid Laurence will think you ratted him out. That's one of the reasons why you need to be straight with us.

Brody: We can't stop Laurence from making a move if we don't have the pieces to put together to figure out what that move's going to be.

Dorian: John.

John: Hmm?

Dorian: If you ever cared about Blair, stop. Don't pursue this.

John: You really think if you do what Laurence wants he'll leave Blair and the others alone? Hmm? You took an oath. You took an oath to serve the people of this city.

Dorian: Mitch commits a crime, arrest him.

John: I'm not a cop anymore.

Brody: And I work for Commissioner Lowell, who as you know, is Mitch's puppet.

Dorian: What do you want me to do?

John: You fire Lowell, you reinstate Bo, and we'll put Laurence where he belongs. 

Langston: I want you to apologize to Ford.

Markko: What? What for?

Langston: For going all caveman and accusing me of being after your woman. I mean, whatever you think, Ford's a nice guy.

Ford: You know what, fair is fair. I mean, I wouldn't have made the video if it hadn't been for you. So, yeah. We can split the royalties.

David: You heard that, right?

Ford: You know what, I got a residuals check yesterday and I haven't had a chance to cash it. Be right back.

David: Ha ha! What a sucker. Markko, you can trust me. I'll get you your share.

Langston: See? Ford's doing the right thing. Just gotta give him a chance.

Markko: Man...well, what about your mom? She came by the apartment earlier, wanted to say hey. You willing to give Dorian a chance?

Langston: That's different.

Markko: How?

Langston: You really need to ask me that after what she did? Hiring the man who almost killed Cole, Starr, and her baby? It's unforgivable.

Markko: She really loves you, Lang.

Langston: Then why did she do what she did? There is no reason for her to betray her family.

John: You want your girls to be safe, you don't work with someone like Laurence. You work against them.

Brody: Let us help you, Mayor Lord.

Dorian: I cannot fire Commissioner Lowell.

Brody: Why not?

Dorian: For one thing, it would damage my credibility.

Brody: Then step aside and let Viki take over.

Dorian: Viki? Viki, huh? Like Mitch wouldn't threaten her family, too?!

John: So that's it. That's why you hired Lowell.

Dorian: John, there is no way that you can protect my family. You're not on the force anymore.

John: If Mitch remains free, he'll destroy more lives. If he doesn't go after your family, he'll go after someone else's.

Brody: I don't know if you're aware of it, but Rex Balsom is Mitch's biological son.

Dorian: Well, that shouldn't surprise me after what he did to Adriana.

Brody: Mitch has already made a move against Rex and Stacy Morasco's baby, their unborn child. Do you even care about that?

Schuyler: Kyle! Kyle! Can I just--

Kyle: I got nothing to say to you, Joplin.

Schuyler: Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I came on so strong back there. Okay, it's not what you think. I didn't... I didn't sleep with Stacy willingly.

Kyle: Right.

Schuyler: She drugged me, okay?

Kyle: Drugged you?

Schuyler: Yeah. Yeah, she drugged me because she wanted to get herself knocked up again.

Kyle: Why?

Schuyler: She lost Rex's baby. She had a miscarriage early on in the first trimester. Next thing I know, she's trying to replace that kid, because without it she loses her connection to Rex.

Kyle: Okay. Yeah, that's tragic, but why would you go along with that?

Schuyler: It's complicated. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm telling you it's true.

Kyle: You know what, I believe you.

Schuyler: You do?

Kyle: Yeah. Stacy came on to me, too, big time, and now I finally know why. Good thing I'm gay and turned her down flat.

Oliver: Okay, Rex. I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure that Stacy is safe for the rest of her pregnancy, and the baby, too, when it's born. I'll protect it like it's my own.

Dorian: I am not responsible for everything Mitch Laurence does in this town.

John: Well, your actions set him free. You know, we're talking about blackmail here, Dorian. He won't stop until he bleeds you dry.

Brody: Mitch has already made you put a criminal in charge of the police force. What's next? What if Lowell goes completely rogue, goes after Cole for helping put him away? Then what about Starr and Hope? And that's just one possibility.

John: What makes you think he wouldn't hurt one of the girls anyway? Hmm? You know, the only way to stop a psychopath is to lock him up and make sure he never sees the light of day.

Dorian: Oh, John. Nothing is going to stop Mitch Laurence unless he is killed and stays dead this time. So, John, are you gonna kill Mitch Laurence? Oh...I didn't think so. Gentlemen, I do believe this interview is at an end.

John: Hey, Dorian. Laurence has already gotten away with one murder. Whatever happens next, it's on you.

Jessica: Well, I'm out of here. I want no part of your sick fantasy about my family.

Natalie: Me neither.

Viki: Go on.

Jessica: Bye.

Viki: Bye.

Charlie: You took my son, but I'm not losing anyone else to you.

Mitch: I'm sorry for your loss, Charlie, but Jared is in a better place.

Viki: Let this go, please.

Charlie: A better place? Jared's place is right here. On earth. Living and breathing. His place is with his wife!

Mitch: You have no idea the depth of my empathy. I shared with Jared that wife.

[Door slams]

Mitch: Ahh...

Waitress: Can I take your order?

Mitch: No, thank you. I think I'm satisfied.

Brody: So, now we know Dorian didn't fire Bo out of some kind of revenge against Jessica's family. She's just totally terrified of Mitch.

John: Well, she'd rather live her life in terror than give him up.

Jessica: Hey. How was whatever you were doing?

Brody: Interesting. How was brunch?

Jessica: Well, it was, uh...

John: Okay, what's wrong?

Natalie: Mitch was there.

Brody: Did he say or do anything that could be construed as an overt threat or...

Natalie: You mean a chargeable offense? What do you think?

Brody: I'm sorry he ruined your morning.

Jessica: I just feel really bad for Charlie. Mitch really got to him.

Brody: You think he's gonna fall off the wagon again?

Jessica: I certainly hope not.

Natalie: Who knows what's gonna happen. I thought that Charlie and I were gonna find strength in one another, but I guess that we'll have to deal with our grief for Jared in our own way.

[Cans banging]

Viki: Charlie. Please, darling. Don't let him do this to you.

Charlie: That guy murdered my son, and he's free to roam around quoting the scriptures while I'm trying to have lunch with my friends and family. He's sitting there breathing the fresh air while Jared is lying in the hard cold ground.

Viki: I know. I visited that monster on us, and I live with that every day of my life. But I promise you, I promise you, the only way to defuse him is to ignore him.

Charlie: Okay, well, you've had more practice at that.

Viki: Charlie, revenge is only gonna hurt you. It won't bring Jared back.

Charlie: I know! I know nothing will! That's just it. Don't you see? There's no justice. I gotta get out of here. I gotta be alone.

Viki: Sweetheart.

Charlie: No, no!

Viki: Charlie.

Dorian: A dry martini. 2 olives.

Dorian: "My love is like a red, red rose."

Bartender: Here you go.

Dorian: Thank you. You told me I'd find my way out of this mess, Mel, and I think I've found it.

Langston: Dorian's done nothing to set things right. Okay, Ford has.

Ford: Here you go, David. You know, why don't I just give you the whole thing? You earned it.

David: Thank you, Ford. Now, I would like it in writing that I will receive a percentage of all future royalties in all markets.

Ford: Okay.

Langston: Do we really need to be around for all this?

Markko: I guess not.

Langston: Okay.

Markko: David, you can work out the details and give me my cut?

David: Absolutely.

Markko: All right, let's blow this place.

Langston: Aren't you forgetting something?

Markko: Hey, I'm sorry if I harshed on you.

Ford: It's cool. And anytime you want to run your ideas by me, love to hear 'em.

Langston: Thanks.

Markko: Oh, and by the way, your video stinks.

David: I'm heading back to London tonight, Ford. I'll probably deposit this in my account there. The exchange rate's better. I'm sure you understand.

Ford: Good idea. After the first check, your amount goes down.

David: Oh, thank you for the tip, but I understand how residuals work.

Ford: No, I just meant that you should get as much as you can for your first 87.

David: $87,000?

Schuyler: I don't even remember having sex with Stacy. That's how drugged I was. And by the time I figured out the kid was even mine, Stacy was already trying to pass it off as Rex's. Now, I--

[Pager beeps]

Schuyler: Kyle, I know this is a--

Kyle: I gotta take this. I'm sorry. Hey, Oliver. I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.

Oliver: Hey, when do you get off work?

Kyle: Soon. What's up?

Oliver: I need to run something by you.

Kyle: Okay. I'll stop by when I'm done.

Oliver: Okay, I'll see you then.

Schuyler: Okay, I know this is a crazy situation--

Kyle: It's your business. Okay? To be honest, I could care less why you're going along with Stacy's lie, but I'm happy in my life for a change. So, whatever you or Stacy or anybody else does, it's up to you. I'm not gonna tell anybody.

Schuyler: Really?

Kyle: Yeah.

Schuyler: Thanks.

Schuyler: Look, we don't have to worry about Kyle anymore. He's not gonna say anything. But what about Mitch?

Stacy: Well, what about him?

Schuyler: Just because I'm not claiming this child doesn't mean I don't care if a madman comes and steals him.

Rex: It's not bad enough you stole Gigi. What are you doing here hanging around Stacy and my baby? 

Mitch: "Be on your guard against every form of greed, for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions."

David: Thanks for doing the right thing, Ford. While I think we can both agree that I deserve this, it was nonetheless very generous of you to sign this check over in the amount of 87 cents. I think I just had an aneurism.

Ford: What's the matter? Everybody knows there's no money in programming for the internet.

David: I think I need to see a doctor.

Mitch: "More precious than gold, behold, children are a gift from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth."

Schuyler: I'm in med school now. Some days the hospital is our classroom.

Rex: Like you should be allowed back into any classroom. At least the students you hit on will be out of high school.

Schuyler: Oh, give it a rest.

Rex: You ready?

Stacy: Yeah. I just gotta make sure I didn't forget anything.

Rex: Okay. I'll pull the car around.

Stacy: Okay. Oh, did you check into extra security to make sure me and the baby are safe?

Rex: Yeah, it's all set. I hired a cop to watch you when I can't.

Stacy: God, you're the best.

Rex: Be outside in 5?

Stacy: You got it.

Oliver: You are a sight for sore eyes.

Kyle: Not that I don't appreciate the royal treatment, but what's up?

Oliver: I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry.

Kyle: What's wrong? What's up?

Oliver: I'm gonna be pretty busy over the next month or so. I'm moonlighting doing a job for Rex.

Kyle: Rex Balsom?

Oliver: Yeah. Mitch Laurence is after Rex's baby.

Stacy: See? The baby's well protected. You satisfied now?

Schuyler: Yeah. Relieved is more like it. You and the baby are safe and Kyle's not gonna tell anybody the baby isn't Rex's.

Oliver: Kyle, tell me. What is it? What's wrong?

Mitch: "Deliver me from mine enemies."

John: Refill?

Natalie: No, no, no. I'm good. I'm actually just nursing this one. Trying to make it last so I don't have to go home. Still kind of weird being there, you know, with Jared not there. It's kind of weird seeing you behind that bar again.

John: Hmm. Maybe I'll get a chance to perfect my martini this time.

Natalie: I'm sorry. I really hate that Lowell fired you for covering for me.

John: It's all right. I'm keeping my hand in.

Jessica: So you tried to get Dorian to fire Lowell?

Brody: Sometimes you gotta go for the direct approach.

Jessica: Well, did she say she'd do it?

Brody: No, but I can tell we got through to her.

Mitch: "Defend me from them that would rise up against me."

Viki: Sweetheart, please call me. Please.

[Cell phone beeps]

Mitch: "Their day of disaster is near, and their doom rushes upon them."

Dorian: Mel, you're always telling me I'm smart and strong. Oh, I'm gonna have to be to get this done. Help me, honey. Help me stay focused. What a dump! It was supposed to be a notorious hangout for unsavory characters. How am I supposed to find someone here to help me kill Mitch? Oh... help me.

Charlie: Uh... double vodka. I don't care what kind. Just... keep 'em coming.

Bartender: Sure.

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