OLTL Transcript Monday 10/26/09

One Life to Live Transcript Monday 10/26/09

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Episode # 10552 ~ The Call is Coming from Inside your Head!

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Oliver: Hey.

Cristian: Hey. How was your day off?

Oliver: Uh, it sucked.

Cristian: Oh. Sorry, man.

Oliver: What -- what is this? What is that?

Cristian: What is what?

Oliver: That.

Cristian: What? I just put my shirt on.

Oliver: Right.

Cristian: So what?

Oliver: What, you think that it's too tempting for me to see you with your shirt off?

Cristian: No. I was just putting my shirt on.

Oliver: Cris, don't worry. You're not really my type.

Cristian: Did I say I was your type?

Oliver: No.

Cristian: All right. Well, what is your type?

Oliver: Kyle.

Nick: Hey.

Kyle: Hey.

Nick: How's the studying?

Kyle: Ask me anything about optic nerves.

Nick: I'll pass.

Kyle: Nick, I -- I got 4 more hours of studying.

Nick: Okay, okay, okay.

Kyle: I just didn't expect to see you tonight.

Nick: Here. You'll need this.

Kyle: What's this?

Nick: One tuxedo, size 40.

Kyle: Why?

Nick: Because you can't get married without it.

Matthew: So what do you know about Danielle?

Tom: That she's somebody you don't want to waste your time on. Trust me. Don't be fooled by the girl's looks. She's a bitch.

Daniella: You have to get me out of here.

Téa: Daniella, you are in one of the best schools in all of England.

Daniella: Yeah. That's, like, the first problem. How could you send me from Tahiti to the foulest, moldiest, coldest, foggiest...

Téa: Oh. Listen to you: How your vocabulary's improving.

Daniella: Mom, the boys here are cretins who will not leave me alone.

Téa: Oh.

Daniella: No, don't like it's all cute. They're rich little thugs. One of them just took my phone.

Téa: Well, then we will report that to the school, and we will get the phone back.

Daniella: He already gave it back.

Téa: Sweetheart, maybe they were just teasing you.

Daniella: Mom, these are not my people. Do you get it? I don't like it, and I don't understand why I'm here. I want to come home.

Téa: Well, that's not possible.

Daniella: Why? Mom, what's going on?

Téa: It was time for you to get a real education.

Daniella: I was doing fine! Let me come home, and I promise I'll study as much as you want. Like, 20 hours a day with you.

Téa: Listen, honey, I am sorry, but this is the way it has to be right now.

Daniella: Why? Are you and Dad still fighting?

Ross: What are you doing here?

Blair: What's wrong?

Todd: Everything.

Blair: Is -- is it me? Is it us?

Todd: No, this is not right.

Blair: Well -- are you thinking about Téa?

Ross: Does Blair know that you're in her house now?

Téa: Why don't you go and find her, huh?

Ross: What are you up to?

Daniella: Dad? Mom, is that Dad?

Téa: Uh, no.

Ross: Seriously, did you just walk in here like you own the place?

Daniella: That's Dad. Dad! Put him on.

Téa: It's -- it's the TV.

Ross: Téa?

Daniella: The TV just called you by name?

Téa: No.

Ross: What's wrong with you? Who are you on the phone with?

[Phone rings]

Jessica: Hello?

Man: Jessica.

[Static]

Jessica: Who is this?

Man: Baby, it's me.

[Static]

Jessica: No. No, it -- it can't be.

Man: Don't you recognize my voice? It's Nash. 

Jessica: Why are you doing this to me?

Man: I need you, Jess.

[Static]

Man: It's so cold here.

Jessica: Where? Where are you?

Man: Help. Please.

Jessica: Nash? Nash? Nash, where are you?! Nash?!

Viki: Jessica!

Jessica: It was him! It was him!

Charlie: Who?

Jessica: Nash was calling! It was him!

Viki: Oh, honey --

Jessica: Don't! I know how that sounds, but it was him! I swear it was him!

Viki: No, sweetheart, it was somebody who sounded like him.

Jessica: No, it sounded exactly like him, Mom.

Charlie: Just let me have the phone for a second here. Okay. Ay. It's "caller unknown."

Viki: All right, this has got to stop.

Jessica: Who are you calling?

Viki: I am calling John McBain.

Cristian: So what are you gonna do about Kyle?

Oliver: Kyle is with Nick.

Cristian: The guy he was with at the restaurant?

Oliver: Yeah. Nick teaches at the high school.

Cristian: That guy's got nothing on you.

Oliver: Kyle likes him a lot.

Cristian: Kyle is settling.

Oliver: Oh, come on. Like you would know anything about that.

Cristian: I'm just saying.

Oliver: What? What are you "just saying"?

Cristian: Kyle wanted you back. And now suddenly there's another guy?

Oliver: No. Kyle says that it's over for us.

Cristian: Well, maybe he says that, but I think he wants you to work for it.

Oliver: What?

Cristian: Remember? You walked away from Kyle in college. You said you were straight.

Oliver: Yeah. Don't remind me.

Cristian: And so he's hurt. He doesn't want to look easy like it's okay for you to treat him that way.

Oliver: You know, Cris, that's not really what's going on.

Cristian: Trust me. I've seen this before.

Oliver: No, you don't get it.

Cristian: Oh, I get it. Look, he wants to make you pay. I mean, that doesn't mean that he's not into you. I believe he's into you. But you might just have to jump through some hoops first.

Oliver: Kyle and Nick are getting married.

Nick: How's it fit?

Kyle: Perfect. How'd you know?

Nick: Your size? Seriously?

Kyle: Yeah. What, do you read labels?

Nick: Just let me see.

Kyle: Isn't that bad luck?

Nick: Only if you're the bride. Wow. Amazing. You -- you look perfect. What do you think?

Kyle: It's nice.

Nick: Yeah, you hate it.

Kyle: No, it's -- it's not that.

Nick: Then what?

Kyle: It's real.

Nick: Yeah?

Kyle: Yeah. It -- it feels, you know, official. It's like we're really getting married.

Nick: We are, sort of. Too bad it's not legal.

Kyle: Yeah, but it's still happening.

Nick: You having second thoughts? I mean, you can tell me.

Kyle: Really?

Nick: Yes.

Kyle: Then, yeah. Yeah, I'm -- I'm having second thoughts.

Nick: Who wouldn't?

Kyle: You. I mean, you obviously don't.

Nick: No.

Kyle: And it doesn't bother you that I do?

Nick: No. Uh, well, it depends.

Kyle: On what?

Nick: Is it second thoughts about getting married or who you're getting married to?

Blair: You still want Téa, don't you?

Todd: I didn't say that.

Blair: You didn't have to.

Todd: Don't go there now, Blair.

Blair: Well, what, then?

Todd: Nothing.

Blair: Did I do something?

Todd: No, no, no, no. It's not you. It's --

Blair: You?

Todd: Yeah. And you're right. I don't trust people.

Blair: So this is about Téa?

Todd: Yeah, I guess it is. I just thought I had changed because of her. You know, I thought my life was gonna be --

Blair: Different? Better?

Todd: Yeah. I really loved her. But she was just playing me the whole time, huh?

Blair: Yeah, she was.

Todd: She and her real husband. It was all a scam. How did I miss it, you think?

Blair: I just -- I think maybe you were just trying to -- to see the -- the best.

Todd: Yeah. When did I ever see the best in anybody? No, I was bouncing.

Blair: Bouncing? What do you mean, bouncing?

Todd: You know, like -- back and forth like a pinball from you to Téa and back.

Blair: Oh, I think you're leaving out Marty there.

Todd: Well, see? There you go. I mean, I get pissed off at one of you, I go back to the other. I got to stop. I'm tired. I got to slow down. I got to stop making such big moves.

Blair: Todd, I -- I just think that you feel beat up. And so do I. Look, I'm not asking for anything. I -- I just don't want to be alone tonight, and I don't think you do either.

Téa: Could you please keep it down? I am on the phone with a client.

Daniella: Mom? Mom, are you there?

Ross: A client?

Téa: Yes.

Ross: Hmm.

Téa: Hello. I'm sorry.

Daniella: Where did you just go?

Téa: I'm right here.

Daniella: Put Dad on. I know it's him. Dad!

Ross: That's Dani, isn't it?

Téa: No!

Daniella: Mom?

Téa: I got to go.

Daniella: Come on!

Ross: Give me the phone.

Téa: What?

Ross: Dani's number is in that phone.

Téa: Forget it. Oh, what? Are you gonna grab it? Are you nuts?

Ross: Give me that number, and this won't get ugly.

Téa: This got ugly years ago, Ross.

Ross: Téa, I -- listen to me. I want -- I want my daughter!

Téa: Well, you're not getting her!

Ross: You're gonna play dirty with me, huh? You gonna play dirty with me?

[Téa grunts]

Téa: Agh!

Viki: Take it easy, all right? John is on his way.

Jessica: Good.

Viki: Sweetheart, would you like to call Brody?

Jessica: Oh, um, he's in Michigan.

Viki: Why?

Jessica: He came over here to see me. And when he was here, he got a call from his sister saying that, uh, she was in trouble. And he didn't want to go, but I told him that he had to.

Viki: But now, honey?

Jessica: Well, Mom, he hasn't seen his sister in ages, and she said that she was in trouble. And anyways, I'm a big girl.

Viki: Yes. And you're doing fine.

Jessica: For a delusional woman.

Viki: Nobody thinks that, Jessie.

Jessica: Even though I'm hearing dead people.

[Door opens]

John: Good.

Viki: John, thank you.

John: Of course.

[Viki whispers]

John: Hey, Jess. How you doing?

Jessica: You know.

John: Can you tell me what happened?

Jessica: Well, um, my phone rang, and I answered it. And when I did, it was Nash's voice. And he said, "Baby, it's me." And I said, "who is this?" And he said it was Nash. And, John, it was Nash's voice. It sounded exactly like him.

John: Or something close?

Jessica: Well, it was a bad connection. But it sounded like him.

John: Okay. So someone's still gaslighting you.

Charlie: Don't you try to lay this on Jared. He would never do anything like that.

John: Oh, I didn't say that he would, Charlie. But obviously there's someone out there, someone besides Wayne Landers, who's involved in all this.

Jessica: Unless -- unless it -- it really is Nash.

Viki: Honey --

Jessica: I know how this sounds, but, Mom, it sounded exactly like him!

John: Any indication where the call came from?

Jessica: No. There was -- sorry -- a lot of static.

Charlie: Yeah, and I checked the phone right away, and it just said "caller unknown."

John: Okay. I'll see if I can track down a number. I'm gonna need to hear this call for myself. You think you can listen to it again?

Jessica: I wish I could, but I didn't -- I didn't record the call.

John: I did.

Daniella: Go away.

Matthew: I just wanted to apologize.

Daniella: What for?

Matthew: For the phone. I didn't mean for any of that to happen.

Daniella: You used my phone by accident?

Matthew: Yeah. Kind of. I -- I just told Tom I needed a phone. I didn't know he'd stolen yours.

Daniella: Whatever.

Matthew: You want me to get back at him for you? Tonight when he goes to sleep, his hand will totally be in bucket of warm water. Look, Danielle, I didn't -- I didn't mean to make you so upset.

Daniella: It's Dani. And I don't care about the phone.

Matthew: Then what are you so upset about?

Dani: I hate my parents.

Matthew: What a coincidence.

Dani: Please.

Matthew: Yours are definitely not worse than mine.

Dani: Want to bet?

Ross: Ohh -- ohh, ugh! "Last call." "Last call." "Last call." Agh! Agh! Agh.

Téa: No contact in the address book. Delete call list. Done.

Ross: Why are you being such a class-A bitch?!

Téa: She's not --

Ross: Not what? Not what? Not interested in seeing me, her father? You will never convince me of that. You will never make that case to me.

Téa: Now, Ross, listen to me very carefully. You cannot see Daniella again. Ever. Nonnegotiable.

Téa: Blair? Where are you?

Blair: It's Téa.

Téa: Blair?!

Blair: Todd --

Téa: Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Cristian: Kyle and Nick are engaged?

Oliver: Yeah.

Cristian: To get married?

Oliver: Oh, yeah.

Cristian: As in husband and husband?

Oliver: Matching tuxes and everything.

Cristian: Wow. Well, isn't this kind of sudden? They've been dating for, what, 10 minutes?

Oliver: Five weeks, 2 days. But who's counting?

Cristian: That's 10 minutes in guy time, even gay guy time. This is still about you.

Kyle: Nick, I've told you it's over with Oliver.

Nick: Yeah, that's what you keep saying.

Kyle: And you were there when I told him we were engaged.

Nick: Yeah, I was. But I can't help but wonder what you told him after I left.

Kyle: Look, Nick, you asked me today to marry you tomorrow, and I said yes. What else could you possibly want from me?

Nick: Maybe not look so freaked out every time I say the "M" word.

Oliver: Oh, yeah? And how long did you know Vanessa Montez before you got married to her?

Cristian: That was arranged to protect her -- or so I thought. And for the record, that was a big mistake.

Oliver: So is this.

Cristian: Yeah. Kyle and this guy should slow down. Where are they going?

Oliver: Um, I didn't really ask for their honeymoon plans.

Cristian: No, I mean where are they getting married? Where's the wedding?

Oliver: Here.

Cristian: There's no gay marriage in Pennsylvania.

Oliver: Well, yeah, that's kind of the point. The lgla is trying to force the issue, and so they're having this big ceremony to make a point.

Cristian: So it's a fake wedding?

Oliver: No, it's a statement.

Cristian: But it's not legal.

Oliver: So what?

Cristian: So Kyle knows that.

Oliver: Yeah, well, it still feels pretty real.

Kyle: Nick, the wedding thing -- it's intense. Okay? It doesn't mean I'm backing out.

Nick: Are you sure?

Kyle: Yes. I made a promise, okay, and I'm sticking to it.

Nick: You make it sound like a chore.

Kyle: I didn't mean it like that.

Nick: Look, do you think that this is some sort of test to your manhood? What, you gave me your word? So regardless of your feelings, you have to get married?

Kyle: No. I know this is important.

Nick: Yeah, but is it important to you? That's all that really matters.

Kyle: I'm going through with this.

Nick: Look, Kyle, don't do me any favors.

Kyle: No, I'm not --

Nick: Look, this isn't some kind of peer pressure after-school special kind of moment. I will think way more of you if you just come clean and tell me you're not ready to go through with this.

Kyle: Really?

Nick: Yes. You don't have to prove anything by going along with this. And if you do this and it's not really what you want, you're just gonna end up resenting me for getting you involved at all.

Kyle: I would never blame you for my choices.

Nick: Just be sure you choose. Look...if you don't want to go through with this, just say the word.

Cristian: You still have a chance.

Oliver: I don't really see it.

Cristian: This isn't a real wedding.

Oliver: Nick proposed. Like, he actually got down on one knee, Cristian.

Cristian: How do you know that?

Oliver: I was there. Kyle said yes.

Cristian: With you watching?

Oliver: No, no, it wasn't just for show.

Cristian: You sure about that?

Oliver: The guy basically slammed the door in my face. Why can't you accept that?

Cristian: I don't know. I want somebody to be happy, I guess.

Jessica: How do you have a recording of my call?

Viki: Have you wire-tapped all the phones?

John: Yes. We got the order after we found Landers' body.

Charlie: And is there any reason you didn't tell us about that?

John: The warrant was sealed, Charlie.

Charlie: What, so that you could trap my son?

John: No. We just didn't want to tip anyone off. The warrant was about to expire, and I promise you none of your private calls will ever be made public.

Viki: I would appreciate that.

John: I understand. For now, we may have caught a break.

Viki: Well, I certainly hope so. So what do you do with that?

John: Call in the cavalry.

Oliver: Well, then why aren't you happy? What happened?

Cristian: Nothing.

Oliver: Did you and Layla...

Cristian: No. I mean, yes. I, uh, I kissed her.

Oliver: Finally!

Cristian: Yeah.

Oliver: Come on, this is good news. You two should've gotten together, like, months ago.

Cristian: It's not gonna happen.

Oliver: Why not?

Cristian: She backed off.

Oliver: Well, did she say why? Ooh -- still into me?

Cristian: Heh. No. It's -- it's messy. I dated Evangeline, Layla's sister. I mean, we were over before...

Oliver: Evangeline got hurt?

Cristian: Right. Right. But to Layla, it still feels like we're being, I don't know, disloyal or something. She doesn't think she can be with me unless she gets her sister's blessings.

Oliver: Well, yeah. But Evangeline is in a coma, and she's been like that for a long time. So how do you ever --

Cristian: We don't.

Oliver: Wow.

Cristian: Yeah. I mean, I get it. But, uh, I don't.

Oliver: Well, we are a pair. Well, I mean, not like --

Cristian: I know what you meant.

Oliver: We could still hang out.

Cristian: Of course. We should actually do that sometime.

Oliver: Sure.

Cristian: You'd be a lousy wingman, though.

Oliver: Hmm. This is true. But we would never actually hit on the same person -- anymore.

Cristian: All right, we'll do it soon.

Oliver: You are so not ready.

Cristian: Nah.

Oliver: Yeah. Me neither. Thank God it's football season.

Cristian: Yeah. Oh, you know, I got the premium league channel on our cable.

Oliver: Oh. Sweet.

Cristian: So we're all set up.

Oliver: Game on.

Cristian: Yeah.

[Phone rings]

Oliver: Fish.

John: Yeah, it's me. I'm just calling to remind you you're still on administrative leave.

Oliver: Yeah. Believe me, I know.

John: But we're breaking the rules one night only.

Oliver: Oh, yes, I am there. Where do you want me to go?

Téa: Unbelievable.

Blair: Who let you in here?

Téa: This is a record, even for you two.

Todd: What are you doing here?

Téa: I might ask you the same question.

Blair: Oh, see, he picked me up from the hospital. Because I was recovering from when you pushed me out the window.

Téa: I didn't push you out a window! I'm not you! And what are you doing here? You -- you kissing her boo-boos?

Blair: You don't have any right to ask us any questions. That's right, Téa. Why don't you leave the man alone?

Téa: What are you? His mother?

Blair: Do I look like his mother?

Todd: Téa, Téa, maybe you should just go.

Téa: Oh, I will go, Todd. But you know what? I'm -- I'm really glad I'm getting a chance to see this. This -- I needed -- I needed to see this.

Todd: Really?

Téa: Yeah, yeah. Every word she says. Every minute I see how easy it was for you to jump back into bed with her! Oh, I dodged a bullet.

Todd: So Blair told me about some big plan.

Téa: What?

Todd: A scheme. She remembered a scheme.

Téa: I don't know what you're talking about.

Todd: Something you cooked up with Ross Rayburn.

Téa: What?

Blair: Come on, Téa. Don't deny it. I remember everything that you said to me right before you pushed me out the window.

Téa: I didn't push you out the window.

Blair: That you and Ross were planning on taking Todd for every dime that he owns.

Téa: That's what you remembered?

Blair: Damn right.

Todd: Is she leaving something out?

Ross: Oh, my God. Don't tell me you're back with this loser.

Layla: Hey.

Cristian: Hey.

Layla: Is Oliver home?

Cristian: No. He -- he got a call. Work.

Layla: Really? Was it John?

Cristian: Yeah, I think so.

Layla: But he's on administrative leave. John told me this morning.

Cristian: All I know is that he got a call from McBain and took off.

Layla: So he's out?

Cristian: Yep. It's just us.

Layla: Interesting. Ahem.

Cristian: Is it?

Layla: Yes. But I'm no expert.

Cristian: "Interesting": That can mean so many things. You hate it?

Layla: No.

Cristian: But you don't like it?

Layla: It's not "like," is it? It's kind of desolate.

Cristian: You think it's desolate?

Layla: Yeah. It's a different kind of painting for you.

Cristian: I guess I'm feeling kind of desolate, then.

Layla: Hmm. What's got you down?

Cristian: Things.

Layla: What things?

Cristian: Let's go with gay marriage.

Viki: Is there anything you need from us?

Oliver: No, thank you, ma'am. We're almost set. Ah, we're good to go.

John: Okay, you ready for this? All right.

Jessica's voice: Hello?

Man's voice: Jessica.

[Static]

Jessica's voice: Who is this?

Man's voice: Baby, it's me.

[Static]

Jessica's voice: No. No, it -- it can't be.

Man's voice: Don't you recognize my voice? It's Nash.

Jessica's voice: Why are you doing this to me?

Man's voice: I need you, Jess.

[Static]

Man's voice: It's so cold here.

Jessica's voice: Where? Where are you?

Man's voice: Help. Please.

Jessica's voice: Nash? Nash? Nash, where are you?! Nash?!

Oliver: That's all.

John: Thanks, Fish. Mrs. Banks, you knew Nash?

Viki: Yes.

John: What do you think?

Viki: John, if I didn't know better, I'd say it was him.

Charlie: Now, what can you tell with all this computer stuff?

Oliver: Not much by itself.

John: Can you do a voice comparison?

Oliver: Well, sure. If we can get a control.

Charlie: Yeah? And what's that?

John: Oh. Well, we would need a documented sample of Nash's voice to run against the tape.

Viki: I don't think that exists.

Jessica: Yes, it does.

Matthew: No way.

Dani: I swear. Mangos on the beach every morning, then surfing.

Matthew: And why are you here?

Dani: Because my mother decided I need a permanent cough and bad food. She won't be happy until I'm, like, a duchess or something. She won't even let me talk to my dad.

Matthew: That sucks. So deported against your own will?

Dani: Definitely. She tells me we're going on vacation. I get on the plane, and my mom's all, "change of plans." Next thing I know, I'm wearing wool and watching cricket.

Matthew: Okay, this is freaky.

Dani: Have you ever seen cricket? Like watching paint dry.

Matthew: My parents shipped me off, too.

Dani: I guess everybody's did if they're here.

Matthew: No. I mean like yours, sort of, except only worse.

Dani: Uh-uh. I've got you beat.

Matthew: No way.

Dani: Give me specifics.

Matthew: Okay. So you notice the chair? Of course you notice the chair. You're not blind. You notice the chair.

Dani: I saw the chair.

Matthew: Okay. I mean, but that's not even the worse part. It is. Okay, whatever. There's a surgery that can get my legs back, that'll help me walk again, but my parents won't let me have it.

Dani: Why not?

Matthew: I don't know. There's a risk involved or whatever and they're scared, so they say no.

Dani: That stinks.

Matthew: Yeah, right? So I take them to court and I win. I win the right to have my surgery.

Dani: That's awesome! When are you doing it?

Matthew: Now. I'm supposed to be in Seattle right now having my surgery. My parents were like, "oh, son, we were so wrong for not letting you have the surgery. Why don't we take you to Seattle on our private jet?"

Dani: Get out! They've got a private jet?

Matthew: Yeah. So they hijacked me and dumped me here instead.

Dani: That's, like, illegal, isn't it? You should call a cop.

Matthew: My dad's the police commissioner, and my mom's the D.A.

Dani: Oh, you're so screwed. You need my mom.

Matthew: I thought you said your mom sucked, too.

Dani: Yeah. But she's a great lawyer, a real shark. She could totally help you.

Todd: Listen, you jackass...

Téa: Okay, stop it. Okay? Stop it.

Ross: I can't believe you'd throw yourself away...

Todd: You got nothing to say to her, okay?

Blair: You should go. All right?

Todd: Take your accomplice with you.

Ross: My what?

Téa: Okay, let's go, Ross.

Todd: I know about your little plan with Téa.

Ross: Excuse me?

Todd: Yeah, your little plan to soak me for everything I've got.

Ross: Okay, I might've been cracked in the head a few times since I've been in town, so I might be a little slow...

Todd: Blair remembered what Téa told her. You know, I could have you arrested right now.

Ross: I -- you said what?

Téa: I'm sorry. Um, Blair cornered me. I had to tell them the truth. I'm sorry, baby, okay? Our secret's out. Let's go. Let's go. Come on. Come on.

Ross: Well, one of our secrets.

Todd: Oh, is there more?

Jessica: It's the first saved message. Um, he left it about 2 days before he died, and I couldn't bring myself to delete it.

Oliver: How long is it?

Jessica: About 25 seconds.

Oliver: That should be enough.

John: Do you need the original off the voice mail server?

Oliver: No. I can get it off here. We should get a good idea.

Jessica: Um, you won't hurt it, will you? Because I kind of want to -- I want to save it for my daughter.

Oliver: Oh, it'll still be there. I promise this won't hurt it at all.

Jessica: Thank you.

John: How long before you can run it?

Oliver: It should take a few minutes.

Viki: Oh, baby, I can't even imagine how it felt to hear that.

Jessica: He said that he was cold. Do you think that means that it's cold in his grave or that he's somewhere cold?

Viki: Oh, honey, honey --

Jessica: Why would he say that to me?

Charlie: Someone is trying to upset you.

Viki: No, Charlie, it's a lot worse than that. Somebody is trying to undermine your sanity.

Jessica: Why? Why would someone want to hurt me like that?

John: The program hard to run?

Oliver: No. All the heavy lifting is pretty much done now. And once it's set, you just push a few buttons. The analysis runs, and then the results pop up on the screen.

John: Oh. Good. Go ahead, set it up, then take off.

Oliver: What?

John: What do you mean, "what?" You're not even supposed to be here.

Oliver: Then why did you call me?

John: Because I knew you'd get it right.

Oliver: All right. Well, it's all backed up now, so there's really no way you can mess it up.

John: Thanks, Fish.

Oliver: Hey, John? Do you have any idea how long I got to be out?

John: Till I.A. says you can come back. I don't know.

Oliver: Is there any way to speed up the process?

John: I'm pushing, man. You're still on the payroll.

Oliver: Yeah, it's not really about the money. I miss the job. It's kind of my life.

John: Word of advice: Don't let it be.

Nick: I can probably get my deposit back if I return that thing tonight.

Kyle: No. No matter what, I'm keeping the tux.

Nick: Good. Because it does look great on you.

Kyle: Thanks, big guy.

Nick: What? For the tux?

Kyle: No. For -- for giving me an out.

Nick: "Out" is my specialty.

Kyle: Will you be serious?

Nick: No, no, no. This whole thing is already entirely too heavy.

Kyle: Yeah, you're right. I mean, honestly, I'd be freaking out no matter who I'm marrying or when.

Nick: Is there anything I can do to help?

Kyle: No. You're right. This should -- it should be fun, right?

Nick: Look, I can do fun.

Kyle: Let's have a bachelor party.

Nick: Why not?

Kyle: You can get me plastered.

Nick: Oh, yeah, yeah. That's attractive.

Kyle: Okay, I'm kidding.

Nick: Okay, so maybe not plastered. But I think we can have a champagne toast before we say "I do."

Kyle: Sounds like a plan.

Nick: So we're good?

Kyle: We're good.

Nick: You sure? Going, going...

Kyle: Gone. Gone. This is a no-brainer. I mean, we should be happy we're getting married. And then one day someday, you know, we won't have to take it for granted that we're getting married.

Nick: Exactly. So see you tomorrow?

Kyle: It's a date.

Layla: Poor Oliver.

Cristian: Yeah.

Layla: How's he taking it?

Cristian: He's sucking it up. But you can tell it hurts.

Layla: He never stopped loving Kyle.

Cristian: No.

Layla: I thought Kyle felt the same way.

Cristian: That's what Kyle told me. But I guess Oliver waited too long.

Layla: He didn't wait.

Cristian: No. He just pretended he didn't feel anything. Only that never works.

Layla: But he did step up, though. And he still got his heart broken.

Cristian: Because he waited too long and lost his chance.

Layla: Then maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Cristian: Or maybe he just needs to make another chance. Not take no for an answer, so he doesn't regret it for the rest of his life.

Todd: Is there anything else you'd like to share, Ross?

Ross: You don't think this is all about money, do you?

Todd: That's all you ever cared about.

Téa: Let's go, Ross. Come on.

Todd: What else you planning to do?

Blair: You know what? They're just trying to psyche you out. They can't hurt you anymore.

Todd: No, they can't.

Ross: It's a big mistake for you.

Téa: When has that ever stopped her? Let's go, Ross. Come on. You two deserve each other.

[Laptop chimes]

Jessica: It's done.

John: Looks like it.

Jessica: Oh, my God. It's him.

Viki: But how can that be?

Jessica: No. This is a machine. It's a computer. There's no emotion. There's no bias. And it's telling me that --

Viki: It's okay --

Jessica: No, it's not okay! How can it be okay?! According to this, I just spoke to my dead husband!

Viki: There's got to be an explanation.

Charlie: Is there?

Jessica: John, what is going on?

John: I don't know.

Blair: You okay?

Todd: I don't know. I thought you were lying.

Blair: You did?

Todd: Mm-hmm. At least, I hoped you were. Hmm. I can't believe that Téa would try to take me for something as boring as money.

Blair: Well, you know, she did marry you at one time for $5 million.

Todd: That was a long time ago. I thought maybe she changed.

Blair: Look, it's okay, Todd.

Todd: I just -- she didn't deserve my love. Well, lesson learned.

Ross: It's cute how lover boy sticks up for you.

Téa: Shut up.

Ross: Is that who you left us for? That -- that slimeball?

Téa: Leave it.

Ross: Uh-uh. No. You don't get to just brush me off like that, Téa. I played along up there. All right? Todd doesn't know about Danielle. I didn't tell him.

Téa: I appreciate that.

Ross: Don't -- I don't want a pat on the back. I want her number.

Téa: Well, you can't have it.

Ross: You owe me.

Téa: I'm sorry.

Ross: You're sorry? I love our daughter.

Téa: You're gonna have to do that from afar.

Dani: My mom's still not picking up. She's with my dad. I know she is. She was lying when she said she wasn't. She refuses to let me talk to him for some reason. So that's our drama. Sorry.

Matthew: It's okay. I'll take care of it myself.

Dani: Yeah. It's late.

Matthew: Even in Tahiti?

Dani: It's almost dawn there.

Matthew: Do you always know exactly what time it is there?

Dani: Yes. I'm mentally surfing. It's past curfew. If headmistress catches us, it'll be demerits for your house.

Matthew: who cares?

Dani: You will when you're mucking out horse stalls.

Matthew: They won't make a cripple do that.

Dani: You are so not crippled. You're just on wheels.

Matthew: I'm sorry again about Tom taking your phone.

Dani: Forget it. Nice meeting you.

Matthew: Hey? So I'll see you around?

Dani: Where am I gonna go?

Layla: I'm beat.

Cristian: Really?

Layla: Yeah.

Cristian: You know what? I'll move the painting so you can watch some TV if you want.

Layla: No, no, no. Please finish it. Ahem.

Cristian: But I -- I thought you said it was desolate.

Layla: What do I know?

Cristian: Well, you know what you feel.

Layla: Some days. I feel really bad for Oliver and Kyle.

Cristian: Yeah. Me, too. But you know what? I feel worse for you and me.

Oliver: I still care about you, Kyle.

Kyle: I don't know if I love Nick.

Oliver: But you're marrying him?

Kyle: It's -- it's more complicated than that.

Oliver: More complicated than committing to him for forever?

Kyle: I know what marriage means, Oliver.

Oliver: Yeah. It means -- yeah. It means that there's no hope for us.

[Knock on Door]

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