One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 9/1/09
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Episode # 10514 ~ Some Enchanted Dealing
Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy
Oliver: I love you, too, Dad.
Cristian: You okay, man?
Layla: That's so weird he called right now. Oliver, what's wrong?
Oliver: My parents are coming to Llanview. And they can't wait to meet my girlfriend.
Cristian: Boy, that could be a problem. I mean, seeing as how you don't have one anymore.
Oliver: You mean, seeing as how I'm gay?
Dorian: In the interest of getting you reelected, I suggest we downplay your opposition to gay marriage.
Mayor Lowell: Yeah, I get it. Keep it vague until we win and then go full force.
Dorian: Why don't you focus on the bread and butter issues-- the price of gasoline, reviving the economy?
Mayor Lowell: Cleaning up the corrupt Llanview police department, starting with John McBain.
John: I made the switch.
Bo: But we're still not hearing anything, John.
John: You will in a second. Dorian's talking the Mayor's ear off.
Bo: Oof. I hope this works. We're taking a big chance, bugging Lowell's office.
John: We'll find out soon enough.
Mayor Lowell: John McBain is one of Commissioner Buchanan's cronies. We need to put a stop to this.
Dorian: Absolutely. Your idea to weed out the bad apples in the Llanview police department--it's really a winner. The problem is so bad that even in my own home, I had a houseguest staying with me, a young lady, and she took LSD. I mean, she didn't--whatever. She had no idea what she had taken. She was only 16 years old.
Mayor Lowell: That is a damned shame.
Dorian: Mm-hmm. Well, thank heaven our children are not like that.
Mayor Lowell: You can say that again.
Justin: Hello? Can we make a deal or not?
Cole: Look, I don't have much, okay?
Sergei: What's wrong with you? The kid wants to score. Sell him what you got.
Cole: If we had gotten the re-up, it wouldn't have been a problem. But right now, I'm running low and I got my regular customers to take care of.
Justin: I'm not looking for a year's supply. I just want a dub. Can you handle that?
Sergei: Can you?
Cole: Not out here in the open. Who knows who's watching?
Sergei: Then take the kid someplace else.
Téa: Ross, listen to me very carefully.
Ross: Téa. What a coincidence. I was just talking about you. Your ears must have been burning.
Téa: Cursing my name, I'm sure.
Ross: Well, I admit it was not nice. Tell me something--how is it my adorable wife makes so many enemies wherever she goes?
Sergei: Everything cool? You're making me worry, Cole. Why this sudden reluctance to do your job?
Cole: Well, I guess it bothers me more than I thought it would...selling to kids.
Sergei: In this economy, you sell to whoever is buying. Got it?
Dorian: Mayor, we need to turn this drug crisis into an opportunity. Yes, how about you spearhead a neighborhood campaign to wipe out drugs? Or--or, better yet, how about the high school having a "say no to drugs" campaign, spearheaded by you and your son? Would Justin do something like that?
Mayor Lowell: Justin's a good kid. He'll do whatever I ask him.
Nora: Sounds like he's as good a dad as he is a mayor.
Bo: Yeah, like father, like son.
Nora: We're not going to get anything from this bug if Dorian's still glomming onto him.
Bo: Did you hear that, John?
John: I'll get her attention.
John: Hey, Bo, I--I gotta take this, all right? I'll get back to you. What's up?
Cole: Hey, John. I need your help. Something really bad just happened.
John: Calm down. What happened?
Cole: This kid, he wanted to make a buy and Sergei was standing right here watching me. I didn't know what else to do, so I had to sell him drugs.
John: Okay, look, I know it sounds wrong, but you did the right thing.
Cole: What if this kid uses and something bad happens to him because of me?
John: Where are you?
Cole: The southeast corner of the park where the warehouse district starts.
John: I'm right nearby. Can you describe the buyer?
Cole: Yeah, uh, brown hair, short, blue-green striped shirt.
John: Did you get a name?
Cole: Justin. Justin Lowell.
John: Sit tight. Wait for my call.
Starr: Cole? What's wrong?
Ross: Wait. You do make an impression. I still got the scars.
Téa: Don't you play the wounded party with me. And if that was your lawyer you're talking to, tell him to back off. One more threat from him and I will respond in kind.
Ross: No, there's no need for nastiness, Mrs. Rayburn.
Téa: Don't call me that.
Ross: Well, what else should I call you?
Téa: How about the ex-Mrs. Rayburn?
Ross: Oh, God. Not this again.
Téa: I want those divorce papers signed.
Ross: Téa, sweetheart... do we have to go over this again? Look, I will give you your freedom as soon as you give me what I want.
Téa: I have instructed your lawyer to offer you a substantial cash settlement, more money than a deadbeat surfer like you will ever need. Certainly more than you deserve.
Ross: Really? Well, that's good. Unfortunately, that's not what I want.
Téa: Since when have you not sold your soul for money? I want those divorce papers signed and overnighted today.
Ross: What's the rush? Téa, you and I have been apart for--for a long time. What's so important that you need these papers now?
Téa: I need the papers because...I--I would like to move on with my life.
Ross: May I ask with whom?
Téa: That's none of your damn business.
Ross: It's none of my business? The name of the man who's taking my wife is none of my business? Come on. You owe me that much.
Téa: You know who it is.
Ross: I want to hear you say it.
Téa: It's Todd, okay? Who else is it gonna be? He asked me to marry him.
Téa: Yes. So, we can finally put this marriage out of its misery. Sign the papers! Because if you don't, I swear to you, I will put a bounty hunter on you so fast, it'll make your board shorts spin.
John: You, my friend, are under arrest.
Téa: Thank you.
Ross: Well, that shouldn't come as a surprise. You talked about him enough while we were together.
Todd: I want to talk to you.
Téa: Stop it.
Ross: Sometimes it seemed like he was more a part of our marriage than I was.
Téa: Do we have a deal or not?
Ross: That would be "not."
Téa: You do not want to test me right now.
Ross: Do your worst to me, okay? You send the cops, all right? Send the army. Send Manning for all I care. Oh. Oh, you won't do that, will you? Because if you did that, he would know our little secret. You listen to me. You know what I want. Give a little, get a little.
Blair: Well, I take it Téa wants a divorce.
Ross: You caught that, huh?
Blair: Mm-hmm. So, what's the rush? Why so soon?
Ross: You sure you want to know?
Blair: Look, don't play games with me, Ross. I will find out sooner or later, okay?
Ross: All right, then. Téa wants to cut me loose so she's free to marry Todd. Your ex popped the question.
Téa: This is a phone. When I hold it to my ear and I talk into it, it means I'm busy.
Todd: Huh. Ha ha. Obviously, the call wasn't that important.
Téa: How do you know it wasn't important?
Todd: Well, you just hung up to talk to me, so it couldn't have been that important.
Téa: I...I cannot deal with you right now. I really--what are you looking at, anyway? What's got you so--
Todd: I want your advice. Check this out. Does this look like a drug deal to you?
[Knocking on door]
Bo: Just a second. Come in.
John: Just me.
Bo: We were wondering what happened to you.
Nora: I thought you were gonna distract Dorian--
John: I--I got sidetracked. You got room in the cell for one more?
Justin: I want my phone call.
Cole: Starr, you have to get out of here.
Starr: Not until you tell me what happened.
Cole: Starr, if they see us together--
Starr: They'll think that we're talking about our daughter. What's the matter? I know you think you're protecting me by keeping me away.
Cole: Starr, this is dangerous, okay?
Starr: Look at what it's done to you. Cole...I know that anything is better than prison, but--
Cole: If you won't leave, then
Starr: I'm not letting you walk away, not when you look like you're falling apart. Hope needs you and I need you.
Cole: The baby card? Really?
Starr: You and I get through anything together. Let me help you. Please.
Cole: You know how I was pretending to be a drug dealer? Well, now...I'm the real thing.
Bo: What'd Justin say when you brought him in?
John: Not much. Apparently, doesn't have as big a mouth as his father.
Bo: Well, Nora and I know Justin some. He's probably real scared but he's still a little punk.
Nora: Not to mention he's a child. Were the handcuffs really necessary?
John: Well, he kept running. I got tired of chasing him.
Bo: There you go. How do you want to proceed?
Nora: Well, I think it's obvious. Cut him loose.
Nora: Well, where to begin? Okay, he's a child. He has no record. The most I could charge him on is a misdemeanor, not to mention the small matter of escalating a war between the mayor's office and this department, namely the two of you.
John: That's good, you know? The longer we keep Lowell distracted, the more likely he is to make a mistake and the sooner we can bust him.
Nora: You really wanna use that kid to trap his own father?
John: If it means getting Cole out of this situation, absolutely.
Justin: Come on, Dad. Pick up.
[Cell phone ringing]
Mayor Lowell: Oh, it's just Justin. I'll call him back.
Dorian: No, no. Take the call. It's your son.
Mayor Lowell: What is it, Justin?
Justin: I'm in trouble, Dad.
Layla: Can I get you an aspirin or something?
Oliver: No, thank you. I already took something.
Cristian: Sure I can't get the wastebasket?
Oliver: No, thanks. I'm okay. Except for the hangover from death. And the imminent arrival of my parents. At which time, my life will be over.
Layla: Well, maybe it won't be so bad. Sure, they'll need time to adjust, but I mean, they were so nice to me on the phone.
Oliver: Just wait till you meet them in person. Yes, they can be very, very sweet, but they can also be...intense
Cristian: When do they get here?
Oliver: In a few days. They're driving cross country from Des Moines. Oh, man, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna tell them?
Layla: How about the truth?
Oliver: Ahh. Ahh. [Sniffles]
Layla: I can't pretend to know what you're going through. Spending your life trying to be something you're not. It must be exhausting.
Cristian: Yeah. Don't you ever get tired of it?
Oliver: Of course I do. That's why I told you guys.
Cristian: And didn't that take a load off?
Oliver: Yeah, but you guys are my roommates, my friends, not my parents. And, come on, let's face it: If I didn't feel so bad about jerking you around, I never would have said anything. I would have kept on lying to you.
Cristian: Yeah, but you did say something. Even though you knew how pissed off we were, you came back here and you told us the truth. And that's big.
Layla: And we will be here for you. I promise you, it'll get easier. Once you tell your parents, you'll be able to tell anyone.
Oliver: You don't know them. You don't know what they're like. But you will, and then you'll see why I can never come out to them. Not ever.
Bo: We're gonna play this close to the vest for Cole's sake, okay? Because if the mayor finds out that Cole sold drugs to his kid...
Mayor Lowell: I demand to see the commissioner.
Nora: Okay, and here we go.
Mayor Lowell: I want to know what the hell is going on here.
Bo: Your son was caught with marijuana in his possession.
Dorian: This is harassment. Dirty politics at its worst.
Nora: Justin was found in possession of a misdemeanor quantity of marijuana. All he has to do is pay a fine and enter a drug program.
Mayor Lowell: Get up.
Justin: I can't.
Mayor Lowell: Oh, handcuffs, Buchanan?
John: Well, it seemed necessary. You--you want to tell him why, Justin?
Mayor Lowell: No. Not a word. I'll deal with you later. But you--you, McBain, I will deal with you right now.
Téa: Well, I could definitely spin this photo any number of different ways in court, but yeah, to me it looks like a drug buy. Should we call Marty?
Todd: What the hell for?
Téa: Well, it looks like her son is using again.
Todd: Oh, no, he wasn't buying, he was selling.
Téa: Are you sure?
Todd: Yeah, baby. I was there. He got paid, then handed over the stuff.
Téa: What did you do when you saw that?
Todd: I just snapped this photo and came here.
Téa: You came here to me? You didn't grab Cole, beat him up before taking him to the police? Who are you and what have you done with Todd?
Todd: Yes, all right. I just don't want to alienate Starr any more than I already have. Plus, look, what if there's more to this than I can see? So, what should I do?
Téa: I think you need to tell Starr.
Todd: Yeah, right.
Téa: No, listen. You tell Cole, he's gonna deny it. Marty's not gonna believe you.
Todd: Neither will Starr.
Téa: Yes, she will, if you present it to her calmly and rationally, like you are right now. Cole is the father of her child. She's not gonna take this lightly.
Todd: I don't know.
Téa: I thought you wanted my advice.
Todd: All right, I'll think about it.
Téa: Oh, you'll think about it? How very mature of you.
Todd: Well, you've been rubbing off on me. That's what partners do.
Téa: Oh, God. I think I know where this is heading.
Todd: I would like an answer to my proposal. Are you going to be my partner or not?
Ross: Not exactly what you wanted to hear.
Blair: You know what? I really could care less. I'm just kind of surprised they're moving so soon, that's all.
Ross: You are? I'm not. I mean, Téa's--she's had her heart set on landing Todd since forever. I mean, she's probably been plotting these moves since Todd jumped on that ridiculous raft and sailed away from our little island.
Blair: But see, I think Téa's been planning those moves on Todd way before she ever landed on that island.
Ross: That was then. These days, I don't think she'd have ever gone on the attack if she wasn't completely sure that you were out of the picture.
Blair: Me being in the picture has never stopped Téa before.
Ross: I think you're wrong. Listen, Téa is not stupid. She's not gonna compete with a woman that Todd crossed an ocean for, right? Of course, none of this matters to you. You aren't here for Todd. You came here for your kids.
Blair: Okay, okay, what did Téa say, exactly, all right?
Ross: She said Todd proposed. Isn't that enough?
Blair: Well, you know, she may have weaseled a proposal out of him, but she won't get an "I do," not as long as she's still married to you.
Ross: Well, then you can breathe easily, all right? I'm gonna stay married to Téa as long as-- well, she's gotta give me what I want.
Blair: Which is?
Ross: What's mine.
Blair: Well, maybe I can get that for you.
Ross: Trust me, you can't.
Blair: All right, well, then maybe I can put you in a position where...to make Téa give it to you.
Ross: And what would you want in return?
Blair: Just your signature on the divorce papers.
Layla: Okay, so your parents aren't going to march with you in the gay pride parade anytime soon.
Oliver: Admitting they have a gay son? That would be like denying God for them.
Cristian: You know, a half-hour ago, you were ready to move out because you thought there was no way Layla and I would want you around. Couldn't you be wrong about your parents, too?
Oliver: Cristian, the church my father goes to donates to a ministry that helps gay people not be gay anymore. He thinks aids is--is divine retribution against homosexuals.
Layla: Well, maybe he'd change his mind if he knew his own son was gay. What's more important--making your parents happy or being happy yourself?
Oliver: Look, I know that some people have no problem cutting ties with anyone who won't accept them, but I'm not one of those people.
Layla: But--but, Fish--
Oliver: And I don't want to be. Okay? No matter what my parents say or--or do or think--
Layla: No matter how much they hurt you?
Oliver: They're still my parents and I love them. Unfortunately, the only way for them to love me is for me to not be gay. Look, you guys, I'm really hung over and I just need to take a shower, so--
Layla: No, Fish. We--we need to finish this.
Oliver: No. Layla, it's finished. Okay? I appreciate what you guys are trying to do for me, both of you. But I can't come out to my parents.
Layla: Well, what are you gonna do when they show up?
Oliver: I'll think of something.
Cole: Sergei was watching, so I had to hook him up.
Starr: I didn't know that you kept drugs on you.
Cole: John told me to, so in case something like this happens, I wouldn't blow my cover. Even if it means screwing up someone else's life the same way I screwed up mine.
Starr: Well, you said that the kid was one of Asher's regulars, so it wasn't like you were giving him his first taste. And you called John as soon as it happened, right? Okay, so he's taking care of it.
Cole: That still doesn't mean I'm in the clear.
Mayor Lowell: You planted those drugs on my son, McBain.
Bo: It's too bad that there's no evidence to support that.
John: Hey, if you want to file a complaint, I'll give you the number for I.A. They investigate me every week.
Bo: Of course, then they would have to investigate Justin, too.
Mayor Lowell: That's no problem. My son doesn't do drugs. He's never been in trouble in his life.
John: Well, there's a first time for everything, right?
Nora: Okay, everybody's very sensitive to the timing of this arrest, what with the elections coming up and everything. I don't think there's any need to bring unnecessary attention to this. I am very willing to let Justin walk with a fine and a completion of a drug treatment program.
Bo: No one has to know.
John: It's your choice, Mayor.
Nora: I could arrest Justin and have him face charges with a judge, or you can take him home.
Justin: Please, Dad.
Mayor Lowell: Shut up. Uncuff my son. He is coming with me.
Ross: Let me get this straight. You want me to sign Téa's divorce papers?
Ross: Give her what she wants?
Ross: And then I lose the one thing that I have over her?
Ross: In exchange for?
Blair: No strings attached.
Ross: This is your plan?
Blair: Well, part of it.
Ross: [Laughs] Well, I-- I can't wait to-- to hear the rest of it.
Blair: Well, I know it sounds backwards. I mean, at first, but--
Ross: You think? I'm giving up the one bargaining position I have for free? How do you figure? Ha.
Blair: Because I know what I'm doing, Ross.
Ross: I don't think you know what you're doing. No, I don't think--no, no, no, no, because if I give Téa what she wants, she's gonna marry Todd, and then we're both screwed, right? Lady, what do you have up your sleeve?
Téa: Ah, I knew I spoke too soon.
Todd: About what?
Téa: This newfound reserve of patience I thought you had tapped into.
Todd: I've been very patient.
Téa: I asked you to give me some time.
Todd: I gave you an hour.
Téa: It's been 20 minutes!
Todd: Don't tell me you need more time than that.
Téa: You know what? I give up.
Todd: All right. Is that a yes? You know what? I don't even know what there is to think about.
Cristian: That was brutal, huh?
Layla: No kidding. Do you think we were too hard on him? Were we too pushy?
Cristian: I know I wasn't being too pushy.
Layla: Okay, so maybe I was being too pushy. I mean, people should come out when it's right for them, not because the ex-girlfriend and former beard pushes them.
Cristian: No, don't do that.
Layla: Do what?
Cristian: Feel guilty. Look, I know you feel bad for Fish. I feel bad for him, too. But what about you?
Layla: What about me?
Cristian: You've got to be feeling just as bad as Fish is. You really liked him. This morning, he was your boyfriend, and now he's...now he's not.
Layla: I'm doing fine.
Cristian: Right. Now who's lying?
Téa: So what? I don't give you the answer you want the second you want it, so you retract your marriage proposal?
Todd: No. That wouldn't be very patient of me, would it? Listen, I'm trying to change here. I'm working really hard. And I'm not just trying to change for you, mind you. I'm-- I'm trying to change for the kids. Even Blair. I know I'm a fixer-upper.
Téa: That's an understatement if there ever was one.
Todd: There's also one thing that I can tell you that doesn't need fixing in me. That's the part of me that tells me that the person I want to be with the rest of my life, the woman I love, is standing right here in front of me, and I want to just snatch her up before it's too late.
[Cell phone ringing]
Todd: Don't answer that.
Téa: Listen, it could be important.
Téa: What now?
Ross: Oh. That's no way to speak to the man who's going to solve all your problems.
Ross: Meaning, you want a divorce? You got one.
Nora: Well, that was pleasant.
Bo: And I thought Pa and I had a complicated relationship. What's the matter?
Nora: You saw how Lowell treated his son. There's obviously some abuse going on in that home, maybe even physical.
Bo: You having second thoughts?
Nora: I'm just wondering whether we're--is it--are we doing the right thing here? I mean, we're using that poor kind as a pawn to trap his father.
Bo: That poor kid helped put Matthew in a wheelchair. Now, I'd have liked to have left Justin out of this, but he put a target on himself when he bought the drugs.
Dorian: Oh, dear.
Mayor Lowell: Sit. Don't move.
Dorian: Excuse me, Mayor. Could I have a word with you, please? Um...I believe that we can use this unfortunate situation to our advantage. Nora and Bo are not gonna hesitate to leak the news to Viki. Viki is not gonna hesitate to put it on the front page of "The Banner." We've gotta be a jump ahead of all of them.
Mayor Lowell: Go on.
Dorian: Come clean with the public. Not as a candidate, but as a loving parent trying to guide his erring child through troubled times. It's worked on a national level and it'll humanize you to the voters.
Mayor Lowell: Thank you, Dorian. Can you set it up? I want to speak to my son alone, please.
Dorian: Oh, of course, of course. Everybody, let's respect the mayor's wishes, shall we? Have a nice 5-minute break, huh? Yes, fresh air. Fresh air.
Justin: Thanks for springing me, Dad. That cop totally set me up.
Mayor Lowell: How could you be so stupid?
Starr: At least John is on it. That must make you feel better.
Cole: Yeah, a little. God, I just can't wait for this to be over. All--all I want to do is to be with you and hope again. That's what's gonna make me happy.
[Cell phone ringing]
John: Hey. I caught up with Justin and confiscated the drugs.
John: Don't beat yourself up. You did what you had to do.
Cole: I did?
John: Because of what you did today, it looks like everything's gonna turn out fine.
Mayor Lowell: Sit up straight. Oh, don't cry.
[Mayor Lowell sighs]
Mayor Lowell: Any more lies you want to tell me? I am going to ask you a question, son, and I want you to give me an answer truthfully. You understand?
Mayor Lowell: Did you or did you not buy those drugs?
Justin: Yes, sir.
Mayor Lowell: I need to know one more thing. And I want you to be truthful.
Mayor Lowell: Who sold them to you? Justin, do not make me ask you again. Who sold you those drugs?
Justin: This kid I know from school. Cole Thornhart.
Layla: Am I still angry? Yes. Am I hurt? Sure. Am I hurting as much as Fish is right now? Somehow, I don't think so.
Cristian: Look, I know it sucks, but we all disappoint our parents.
Layla: He's not worried he'll disappoint them. He's terrified he'll lose them. And the last thing I want to do is make him feel worse than he already does.
Cristian: So, that's it? Forgive and forget?
Layla: Knowing Fish as I do, he's gonna feel guilty about what he did to me for the rest of his life. I, on the other hand, will get past it.
Cristian: Okay. So, if there's anything I can do, just--
Layla: Are you kidding me? You're always helping me. I don't know what I'd do without you looking out for me.
Cristian: I don't mind. I mean, even though it is a full-time job.
Layla: Well, I promise it won't be for much longer.
Cristian: Oh, yeah? Why is that?
Layla: Because as of this moment, I am through with men.
Cole: [Sigh] That's great news. Thanks for the backup.
John: I'm making headway. We may move on Lowell sooner than we thought.
Cole: No kidding.
John: Keep your head down. It's almost over, but it might get a little crazy first.
Cole: Go ahead, say it. I know it's killing you.
Starr: I told you so.
Cole: [Sigh] I'll never doubt you again.
Starr: No, you'd better not. What else did John say?
Cole: Starr, you know I can't--
Starr: Okay. Never mind. It's okay. I understand.
Cole: I can tell you that John thinks that's it's almost over.
Cole: Maybe things will finally get back to normal.
Mayor Lowell: You're telling me the truth? This boy...Thornhart, was it? He's the one who sold you the drugs?
Justin: Yes, sir. What are you gonna do about it?
Mayor Lowell: You let me worry about that.
Mayor Lowell: Here. Go get something to eat.
Mayor Lowell: Don't go far. We have more to talk about.
Justin: Yes, sir.
[Knocking on door]
Nora: It's John.
John: What'd I miss?
Bo: Justin just fingered Cole.
Nora: And the Mayor doesn't sound very pleased.
Mayor Lowell: Where are you? We need to meet.
Sergei: Is there a problem?
Mayor Lowell: A big one.
Nora: Who's he talking to?
Mayor Lowell: My son was sold drugs...by Cole Thornhart. That cannot happen again, or heads will roll.
Téa: What's the catch?
Ross: No catch. I'll sign the papers and have my lawyer be in touch.
Téa: Just like that?
Ross: Téa, [Sigh] I--I don't want to fight with you anymore. I just want to move on with my life.
Téa: You could've done that a long time ago. What changed in the last few minutes?
Ross: Money. I thought about your substantial cash settlement and you're right, it is more than I'll ever need.
Téa: And your lawyer made very clear to you the consequences of signing? What you'll be giving up?
Ross: He has. And, look, I know you well enough to know that [Sigh] You're never gonna cave. And I can come at you with everything I got, but you'll just come back at me with the cops, so I understand. Does that satisfy you?
Téa: Yes. I'll be looking for the documents.
Ross: So, that's it. You're finally getting everything you've wanted all along. I hope he's worth it.
Téa: Thank you.
Todd: Oh, well, that's a phone, isn't it? And you had it up to your ear and you were speaking into it, which means you're busy, obviously.
Téa: Shut up. That was my case in Tennessee. They settled.
Todd: That's great. I'm still out of here.
Téa: Do you have a ring? Because I need a ring.
Todd: What just happened here?
Téa: I--I needed time to think and I'm done thinking.
Todd: You don't need more time?
Téa: Just get me a damn ring and--and I'll marry you, okay?
Ross: She bought it. I wouldn't be surprised if Téa and Todd are planning their wedding as we speak.
Blair: Oh, goody, goody, goody, goody, goody. Let them audition bands, sample cakes, and pick out invitations. Just as long as Téa thinks she's getting a divorce, what she doesn't know won't hurt us at all.
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