OLTL Transcript Tuesday 8/4/09

One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 8/4/09

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Episode # 10494 ~ I Deux

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Rabbi: Nora?

Nora: Yes. I'm sorry.

Rabbi: It's your turn to express yourself through your vows.

Nora: Um, I don't really have anything prepared.

Clint: Never stopped you before.

Nora: Clint, the truth is-- the only thing I know is that I love you, and that's the truth. And you deserve the best.

Clint: And that's you.

[Nora sighs]

Nora: Yeah, well, that's it. That's all I got.

Priest: Into this holy estate these two couples have come to be joined. If there are any here who have just cause to show why they should not be lawfully wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Destiny: [Whispering] Feels like something bad's gonna happen.

Clint: What are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road, huh?

["Ride of the Valkyries" plays]

Todd: Oops. Ha ha! I think that's my phone.

Shane: Mom, I'm home. Oh. Hey. Where's Mom?

Rex: She went to Viki's wedding. How was Brian’s? Did you have fun?

Shane: Sure. So what are you doing here?

Rex: Where else would I be?

Shane: I don't know. With Aunt Stacy?

Stacy: What's this?

Gigi: That's almost $300.

Stacy: "Almost $300"? What do you expect me to do with this? This won't even cover a month's groceries, let alone rent an apartment.

Gigi: Maybe not. But it's enough to make that pregnancy go away.

Stacy: Okay. What do you want me to do? Disappear? Then what? Become a pathetic single mom like you did with Shane? You really expect me to do that?

Gigi: Far from it.

Stacy: Okay. What? What do you want me to do with this?

Rex: Why would I be with Aunt Stacy?

Shane: Because you and mom are fighting again.

Rex: It sucks, doesn't it? Sometimes people fight. But it does not mean that we don't love each other. And it definitely doesn't mean that I'm going to be getting back together with Stacy. You can count on that.

Shane: You promise?

Rex: I swear.

Shane: So you kicked Aunt Stacy to the curb?

Rex: I wouldn't say that.

Shane: But she's out of our lives for good, right? That's awesome.

Stacy: Well, what do you want me to do with this?

Gigi: I need you to end this pregnancy.

Stacy: End it? Are you telling me to get an abortion?

["Ride of the Valkyries" plays]

Clint: Whose bright idea was it to invite him?

Todd: Sorry. Sorry.

Natalie: Does he have to ruin everything?

Téa: Do not answer that.

Todd: Yeah? I'm in the middle of something. Is this an emergency? No, that's not an emergency. That's not an emergency! Sorry. Let me, uh-- how do you--oh, okay. It's on vibrate.

Natalie: Why bother turning it off?

Todd: What?

Téa: Nice ring tone. Who was that?

Todd: Nobody. Yeah, go ahead, there, your holiness. Get on with it. Let's go.

Destiny: That guy needs a smackdown.

Matthew: Yeah, tell me about it.

Priest: Let's see. Where were we? Um, does anyone here have a reason why these two couples should not be married?

Clint: I believe we've already covered that. Right?

Nora: Yeah. Let's get the show on the road.

Priest: Well, since there are no objections--

Dorian: Wait!

Blair: Shh.

Dorian: Hold everything.

Blair: Shh.

Dorian: I have something to say.

Blair: Dorian, please don’t. Don't say anything. Just-- excuse me. Téa, move over.

Téa: No. Ouch!

Blair: Don't you hang up on me ever again. You got it?

Téa: You're taking calls from Blair at your sister's wedding?

Blair: All you had to do, Todd—

Shaun: Let's find you a seat, Dr. Lord.

Dorian: No. I'm just fine. Thank you, bro.

Viki: Dorian, will you just sit down?

Clint: I know I didn't invite her.

Blair: I did. She's my guest. Dorian, come on. Dorian, come on. There's--

Dorian: I prefer to remain standing.

Natalie: Can--can you just maybe not cause trouble for one day in your life? Maybe just this once?

Dorian: Au contraire, Natalie. I'm not here to cause trouble.

Clint: Then why are you here?

Dorian: I am here to stop four people from making the biggest mistakes of their entire lives.

Stacy: You can't be serious. You're asking me to have an abortion?

Gigi: I think it's the right thing to do--at least, in this situation.

Stacy: And how is this situation any of your business?

Gigi: How is this situation not any of my business? For one, you're my sister.

Stacy: Like that means anything with you.

Gigi: It does, actually. I've been really upset with you.

Stacy: You can't stand me!

Gigi: But I still want what's best for you!

Stacy: What about my baby?

Gigi: How are you gonna take care of it, Stacy? What kind of life is this baby gonna have if you go through with this pregnancy?

Stacy: A great one.

Gigi: Really? So what are you gonna do? You gonna start stripping again? Because you have no money, no job, no one to support you.

Stacy: Like when you had Shane? Because Mom and Dad kicked you out. You were homeless. You couldn't take care of a child. Do you wish you had aborted him, too?

Gigi: It was different for me.

Stacy: No, it wasn’t.

Gigi: My baby was conceived out of love.

Stacy: So was my baby. I don't care what Rex says. I don't care what you think. I was there. And in that moment when we made love, he did love me. And this baby will be loved. Not just by me, but Rex will love this child, too.

Shane: So when's Aunt Stacy going back to Vegas? I mean, she doesn't want to stay here, right?

Rex: Listen, buddy, I think your Aunt Stacy's gonna stick around for a while.

Shane: Why? Everybody hates her.

Rex: I know.

Shane: So where's she gonna stay? I mean, she can't stay at your place anymore.

Rex: Well--

Shane: No way. You didn't kick her out?

Rex: No, I didn’t.

Shane: Why not?

Rex: It's complicated.

Shane: You and Mom always say that.

Rex: It's true.

Shane: I don't care. I'm not stupid. I understand stuff, even complicated stuff.

Rex: Shane, I know that. Okay? You are super smart. Sometimes it's not about that.

Shane: Then what's it about?

Rex: Your mom and I don't like to tell you things that might hurt you.

Shane: You told me I had leukemia. I handled that, didn't I? Dad, you said you wanted things to go back to normal. You said you wanted us to be a family again. I'm sick of you and Mom keeping secrets.

Rex: Okay. You got it.

Shane: You'll tell me?

Rex: As soon as your mom gets home, we will give you the whole story.

Shane: Why do we have to wait for Mom? So she can talk me out of wanting to know?

Rex: Shane--

Shane: Never mind. I'll just go ask Aunt Stacy myself.

Rex: Wait, wait, wait. No. You should hear this from me. How do I say it?

Shane: Just say it.

Rex: The reason your Aunt Stacy is gonna stick around is because she's pregnant.

Shane: So Stacy's pregnant? Since when?

Rex: Your mom and I just found out.

Shane: That's great.

Rex: It is?

Shane: Yeah. She'll go off, get married, and leave us alone.

Rex: I don't think that's gonna happen, buddy.

Shane: Why not? She wants the baby to have a father, doesn't she?

Rex: Yeah, she does.

Shane: So he can take care of her. Unless he hates her, too. He does, doesn't he?

Rex: But that's what's complicated.

Shane: I wouldn't want to be around either. She's probably gonna have some weird, ugly demon child that, like, steals people's blood.

Rex: You know, babies can't choose their parents.

Shane: I know. But I still don't want to see it. Why can't she just go away and leave us alone?

Rex: She doesn't have a lot of money.

Shane: Well, why don't you pay her to leave? You can sell the apartment. I mean, you don't need it anymore.

Rex: I can't do that.

Shane: But why not?

Rex: Because it's my baby, too.

Stacy: Rex is gonna love this baby, Gigi, probably more than he loves Shane.

Gigi: That's not possible.

Stacy: He didn't even know Shane until he was older. He's gonna watch this baby being born. There's nothing that can compare to that.

Gigi: Except actually being in love with the mother.

Stacy: Oh, tell yourself whatever you want. I'm willing to bet you never thought he would even let me stay here. And hello! Guess who's staying here. Rex was hell-bent on throwing me out, but, boy, did he change his mind when I brought up that baby. Wait till he starts going to checkups and to birthing classes with me. Free room and board will just be the beginning.

Gigi: Rex is not going to birthing classes with you.

Stacy: He will go everywhere with me because he wants to take care of his baby. And when I go into labor, Rex will drop everything. He'll be right by my side. And when he holds our baby for the first time, he will see me with new eyes. I won't be that evil bitch. I'll be the woman who gave him a beautiful, healthy baby. Not that wheezing brat that you have.

Shane: Aunt Stacy's baby is yours? That means that you did it with her.

Rex: Do you remember how weird things were before when Stacy told us all those lies? Well, I believed all that stuff--that she was a good person and that she was helping us. She made me think that we were friends, and then--

Shane: Friends don't do it with each other.

Rex: No. You're right. They don’t. I messed up. If I could change things, I would. But this is how they are, and it wouldn't be right for me to send her away.

Shane: Because she's having your baby. But that doesn't mean that you have to be the father, unless you want to.

Gigi: Don't you dare talk about my kid like that!

Stacy: Yeah, you're right. Maybe I shouldn't have. He is gonna be my baby's big brother.

Gigi: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Stacy: Well, other than just a little morning sickness, not a thing. Which reminds me, I need to have Rex pick me up some ginger ale. He probably won't let me carry those grocery bags much longer.

Gigi: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You have lied and scammed so much, you can't tell what's real anymore.

Stacy: Well, this baby's pretty real.

Gigi: Stacy, what do you think? That this pregnancy is gonna somehow erase all the horrible things you've done to me and Rex, not to mention Shane? My God, he's just a kid! The best kid. He's been through so much. He had leukemia, Stacy, but you didn't care. Not as long as you could use him to steal Rex from me.

Stacy: Well, if that's the way you feel about it.

Gigi: No, that's how it is! That's how you think! You always put yourself first, but you can't do that when you have a kid.

Stacy: Who says I will?

Gigi: This isn't your high school fantasy anymore. You need to snap out of it. This is real life. Do you have any clue how that works? Your actions have consequences, and not just for you, but for an innocent child. Is that what you want? Do you really want to bring a baby into this world and make it pay for your mistakes for the rest of its life?

Stacy: I don't know. Why don't we ask Rex? I'm sure he'd love to hear your brilliant idea.

Priest: You've stepped forward. Do you have a reason why these two couples should not be married?

Natalie: Dorian, why don't you just go somewhere where you can sober up?

Jessica: That's an excellent idea.

Dorian: Judgment? From you two? Ha! I have merely had a cosmo or two or three.

Clint: Dorian, you're drunk. Nobody wants to hear it.

Blair: Dorian? Dorian? Hey, take--take a hint. Sit down. Let these people get married.

Dorian: First things first.

Viki: Oh, for heaven's sake.

Charlie: Well, isn't there something else we can do?

Viki: No. She's not gonna shut up until she's had her say. Okay, Dorian, I'll tell you what. You say what you came to say, but know this. Nothing, nothing you can do is gonna stop us from getting married.

Dorian: Ah. Time is very precious. So why would I waste it pointing out the obvious that's known to everybody here in this church, which is that Viki belongs with Clint. And that Nora is deluding herself, because the only man who will ever float her boat is her beloved Bo. But will I say that? Oh, no, no, no! No. I am here to propose a toast, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Gigi: Stacy, put the phone down. This is between you and me.

Stacy: The hell it is. You're asking me to abort Rex's child. If it were up to you, you wouldn't tell him for 10 years.

Gigi: You think I'm controlling him? You're the one using this pregnancy to trap Rex, to get him to love you. But you know what? He is never going to love you the way you want to be loved. And if you have this baby just to use it as a weapon, it'll backfire, Stacy. You'll just end up making yourself and the child miserable. Is that what you want?

Stacy: Oh, you don't give a damn about what I want. You never have. And now you're worried that I'm gonna hurt myself or my baby? You're just worried that Rex is gonna hurt you, that he's gonna leave you and Shane for the two of us.

Gigi: That will never happen.

Stacy: Oh. You know what? You can't fool me. You're scared, and you should be. Because every time you see Rex, you'll picture him making love to me. And you can try and shake it off, but you won't be able to. And the due date will get closer and closer, and Rex and I will be so busy trying to get ready for this baby. But, of course, you never got to do that with Rex, did you? You never went shopping for a crib or a mobile or a nightlight. He never put his hand on your stomach to feel the baby kick.

Gigi: Rex doesn't want you anywhere near him.

Stacy: That's when you'll start to resent him. And you know what? You should. Because he gave me a child. He linked himself to me forever. Which is when you'll start being a bitch that tries to keep him away from me, but all you're gonna end up doing is pushing him further into my arms for good. But, you know, what do I know, right? I don't know anything about real life. Take your abortion money and get the hell out of my house!

Shane: So what are you gonna do, Dad? Are you gonna be a dad to Aunt Stacy's baby?

Rex: I don't know. It's tough.

Shane: How can she even be allowed to have a kid? She's, like, the meanest person ever.

Rex: Sometimes having a baby changes people.

Shane: Not her. All she cares about is herself.

Rex: People thought that about me when your mom was pregnant with you.

Shane: Well, that was different. You didn't know about me.

Rex: You grew up without a dad. But you wanted one, right? Well, this baby will, too.

Shane: Do you know for sure that you're the dad?

Rex: No, I don’t.

Shane: Well, can't you take some sort of test or something?

Rex: Not for a while.

Shane: So now Aunt Stacy just gets to go around like she did nothing wrong? She's gonna rub it in Mom's face. What if she takes you away again?

Rex: Hey, that won't happen, buddy.

Shane: You say that now. What if you get all mushy around the baby? What if Aunt Stacy needs help? You're a good guy, Dad. You'd help her. Then Aunt Stacy and the baby will be your family. What happens to Mom and me?

Dorian: Yes, I want to propose a toast. To Charlie and Viki. To Clint and Nora. May you cherish this day for the rest of your life and prove all the naysayers wrong. Excuse me, guys. Thank you. Oh, I'm done. That's good.

Téa: Sure.

Jared: Well, at least that's over.

Rabbi: Shall we continue? Or may we skip to the good part?

Clint: Sounds like a great idea to me.

Nora: Works for me.

Charlie: Yeah, let's do it.

Priest: All right. Please join hands.

Viki: I, Victoria, take you, Charlie, to be my lawful husband, secure in the knowledge...

Charlie: That you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my...

Nora: One true love. On this special day in the presence of God and family and friends, I pledge to love you...

Clint: Without reservation, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow.

Viki: To comfort you in times of distress, to encourage you...

Charlie: To reach your highest heights. To laugh with you, cry with you...

Nora: And grow with you in mind and spirit. To always be open and honest...

Clint: With you, and to cherish you so long as we both shall live.

Rabbi: You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy.

Priest: And may we have the rings?

Rabbi: You who wear this ring wear it as a symbol of the wholeness of your commitment.

Priest: And of your sacred love for one another as your lives are now bound in each other's keep. And so in the presence of these witnesses and by the authority vested in me according to the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, I--uh, we now pronounce you husband and wife.

Rabbi: And husband and wife.

[Glass breaks]

[Cheers]

Rabbi: So you think they're ready for the kiss?

Priest: I think they're ready for the kiss.

Priest and Rabbi: You may kiss the brides.

["Wedding March" plays]

Dorian: Hey, honey, just give me a hand for--

Todd: She can’t. Come on.

Blair: Hey, I'm fine.

Todd: No, you're not. You're bombed. I'm gonna drive you home.

Blair: You think? You're not taking me anywhere.

Todd: I'm not gonna let you drive, Blair.

Blair: You don't have to because I have a car, a driver. I'm fine. Okay?

Todd: Because you're gonna hurt yourself and someone else.

Blair: No, I'm not gonna hurt myself. But I didn't know you still care about me, Todd.

Todd: All right, is that a yes, I'm gonna drive you, or what?

Blair: Okay. You can--you can take me home, but just to go to sleep. Nothing else because I'm just way too tired. Okay?

Téa: So much for our date. Have fun holding Blair's hair out of the toilet. See you at the reception.

Todd: What the hell is the matter with you?

Blair: Come on, it was a joke. It was a joke! Oh, come on. Now, can I help it if Téa's sensitive?

Bandleader: Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the newlyweds and stars of this evening's event, Charlie and Viki Banks and Clint and Nora Buchanan.

[Cheers]

Matthew: Congratulations, Mom.

Nora: Thank you, sweetheart.

Rachel: Are you okay?

Nora: I'm great.

Bandleader: May we ask everyone to clear the dance floor? Let's have the newlyweds step forward for their first dance as husband and wife.

[Music plays]

Clint: I have to admit that I got a little scared when Dorian crashed the ceremony.

Nora: Oh, God. Let's not talk about her. As far as I'm concerned, we had the perfect wedding.

Clint: Agreed, so long as I ended up married to you.

Singer: How many times have I thought to myself "I love you"?

Jared: Are you sorry that we didn't get to do all this stuff at our wedding?

Natalie: What, the first dance? The massive cake and the big ice sculpture like a swan? A little. But I have you, and that's all I need.

Bandleader: Honored guests, please join our newlyweds on the dance floor.

Singer: ...In the power of your love

Natalie: Did you see what happened to Jessica?

Jessica: Hey, babe. Mom got married today. Dad did, too. But not to one another. But you probably already know that. You were probably watching over us the whole time.

[Twig snaps]

Jessica: Nash? Nash? Talk to me, please.

Rex: Shane, I'm not going anywhere. I am your dad, and I always will be. I love you.

Shane: I love you, too, Dad.

Rex: We are a team--me, you, and your mom--and nothing can take that away. No matter what happens with Stacy and the baby, I'm always going to be there for you and your mom. I promise.

Gigi: What's going on? What happened?

Shane: I know, Mom. I'm gonna be a big brother.

Stacy: That bitch. Where the hell does she get off coming into my place and telling me what to do? Telling me to kill my baby? She has no right! She's trying to get me to ruin my life so she can steal everything away from me again. But you know what? She's not. She's not getting Rex back. Ow. Ow!

Stacy: Stacy, it's gonna be okay. It's no big deal. Everything's gonna be fine. See? It's already starting to go away. Ow! Oh, God! Oh, God. Ugh!

Stacy: Please help me! Please help! [Sobs]

Gigi: Shane, honey, please go upstairs.

Shane: But, Mom--

Gigi: We'll call you when we're ready to talk. Okay, baby?

Shane: Fine.

Gigi: You told him?

Rex: I wanted to wait for you.

Gigi: Why didn't you?

Rex: I tried. But he was asking all sorts of questions and I couldn't just not answer them. And then he said he was gonna go ask Stacy. I figured he should at least hear it from me.

Gigi: So how'd it go?

Rex: Terrible.

Gigi: Sorry. Wish I could've been here.

Rex: It's not your fault. You wanted to go to Viki's wedding. What, it's over?

Gigi: I didn't go to the wedding. I went to see Stacy instead.

Rex: Why?

Bandleader: Okay, folks, let's find an in-law and change partners.

[Music plays]

Clint: No, not you.

Bo: Well, it's official now. We're--we're in-laws.

Nora: Oh. Right.

Bo: So may we have this dance?

Todd: Téa? Téa? Don't walk away from me. I was just trying to make sure Blair was okay.

Téa: Yeah. Like the last time she got sloshed? And the two of you ended up in bed together?

Todd: Yeah. Did we have sex that time?

Téa: Oh--

Todd: No, we didn't have--no, we didn't have sex.

Téa: You sure know how to charm a girl.

Todd: Delgado, I just--I needed to make sure she didn't drive. That's all.

Téa: Aren't you the hero.

Todd: I'm trying to do the right thing for once.

Téa: You know I actually believe you? But Blair--she is working you. She can't help herself. She'll continue to stop and kick her feet until she gets your attention.

Todd: She already has my attention. She's the mother of my children.

Téa: That has nothing to do with this. Todd, she wants you, okay, and she's gearing up for a competition.

Todd: Against you? She doesn't stand a chance.

Téa: But you're gonna enjoy watching it, aren't you?

Todd: Maybe. Why are we talking about this? Aren't we supposed to be having a good time? That's what these things are about, right? Let's dance.

Téa: Ho ho ho!

Todd: Come on, let's dance.

Téa: You want to dance? Seriously?

Todd: Yeah, baby. Well, actually, no, I don’t. But for you, why not?

Singer: Love is a circle

Blair: You know what Todd is? He is a complete fool. And I know, I know. I've heard you tell me a million times that. I mean, he is, and he is disgusting. He is a grown man. He has three children. My God, he's chasing Téa Delgado around like--I don't know--like a teenager in heat. Oh. Oh, poor Viki. She just wanted to have a civilized wedding right here. And her brother has to show up with that thing on his arm. I just--somebody needs to knock him in the head! Knock some sense into him. He does. I mean, she's Téa. Oh, my God, Téa. I mean, Todd-- he can do so much better than her. I mean, you know, somebody just gonna have to get up in his face and--and show him. That's-- you know, I'm not saying this has to be me. I mean, I'm just saying, you know--I mean, that's what I'm saying. Dorian?

Jessica: Say something. Please.

Brody: Jessica? There you are.

Jessica: You were looking for me?

Brody: You okay?

Jessica: I'm fine.

Brody: Everybody's at the reception. We should probably head over there. Jessica?

Jessica: Uh, yeah. You're right. We should go.

Brody: Wait. Did you see something again? Did you see Nash?

Jessica: It's all right. I didn't--I didn't see anything.

Brody: You sure? You seem a little shaky.

Jessica: No, I--I'm fine. I just--I just wanted to leave some flowers for Nash.

Brody: I--I didn't mean to rush you out. I--you want some more time?

Jessica: If that's okay?

Brody: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take all the time you need. I'll-- I'll pull the car around. So whenever you're ready.

Jessica: Thanks. I'll only be a minute. Okay?

Jessica: Nash? I know you're trying to tell me something. Please help me understand.

[Ring]

Gigi: Is that her again?

Rex: Stop calling me! Okay. No more interruptions. Why'd you go see Stacy?

Gigi: When I left here, I was upset.

Rex: Doesn't seeing her make things worse?

Gigi: I had to do something. So I went to an ATM and I took this money out.

Rex: Okay.

Gigi: Then I went to the loft. I don't know. I just started saying it. It just came out.

Rex: What? Gigi, what'd you say to Stacy?

Gigi: I told Stacy that I thought she should get an abortion.

E.M.T.: Hello?

Second E.M.T.: Someone called 911?

Stacy: Rex, please answer.

[Knock]

E.M.T.: Someone there?

Stacy: I'm here.

E.M.T.: Ma'am, what happened?

Stacy: No! I need to call Rex! I need to call him!

E.M.T.: Can you tell us how you ended up on the floor? Did you-- did you fall?

Second E.M.T.: From a scale of one to 10, how severe is your pain?

Stacy: 10.

E.M.T.: I'm gonna call med central.

Second E.M.T.: You do that. I'll get her vitals.

Stacy: My baby! Save my baby!

Bo: Well, congratulations, Mrs. Buchanan.

Nora: Oh, thank you. Wow, that sounds odd.

Bo: What does?

Nora: Um, "Mrs. Buchanan." I'd never think I'd have that name again.

Bo: Ever?

Nora: Well, certainly not, you know, at the chapel. And I wasn't sure I was ever gonna-- because Dorian and Blair--you know, they come in and they almost ruined everything.

Bandleader: All right, folks, it's time for the brides to throw their bouquets.

Bo: Well, I guess that's your cue, huh?

Nora: I guess it is. Thank you.

Bo: My pleasure.

Jessica: Mom.

Viki: Ah. There you are.

Charlie: Oh.

Jessica: Hey, I'm so sorry I'm late.

Viki: No, darling, you are absolutely on time. We are about to toss these, so you better get over there and get in line. Get ready to catch.

Rachel: Mom?

Nora: Ah. Hi. Hey, aren't you supposed to be over there?

Rachel: I just--I want to congratulate you. I'm glad you figured everything out. I just want you to be happy.

Nora: I am, sweetie. I'm very happy. I--I love Clint.

Rachel: Aw.

Bo: Well, Lindsay, it never happened. Neither one of us could stop the wedding because we weren't meant to be.

Todd: Let's go. Let's go. Get in there.

Téa: Will you stop it?

Todd: No. Let's get some action. I'll do it with you.

Natalie: Come on, Jessie!

Viki: Okay. Everybody ready?

Rachel: Yes. Téa ah!

Todd: Oh.

Viki: Okay. You're up.

Nora: Okay. All right. Hey, Rachel, go long.

[Laughter]

Nora: Ready? Yeah.

Blair: Yeah! Ha ha!

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