OLTL Transcript Monday 5/11/09

One Life to Live Transcript Monday 5/11/09

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Episode # 10436 -- The Facts of (One) Life (to Live)

Provided By Laurie R.
Proofread By Kathy

Nora: Okay, so we're going to talk about it. What happened in the car?

[Bo sighs]

Bo: I had an impulse to kiss you. You know, if Marcie hadn't shown up and started yelling by the car --

Nora: You would have.

[Door opens]

Matthew: Hey.

Cole: Hey.

Matthew: Nice wheels, huh?

Langston: Are you ready for this?

Starr: Yes.

Langston: Okay, after the prom tonight, Markko and I, we're going to go all the way.

Dorian: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Starr: Aunt Dorian --

Dorian: Planning to go all the way?

Langston: That was just a euphemism.

Dorian: A euphemism for what?

Langston: For the last dance.

Dorian: Don't you lie to my face, young lady. You're planning to have sex with Markko tonight.

Clerk: Welcome to -- Markko Rivera.

Markko: Mrs. Burns -- you work here.

Mrs. Burns: I get a great discount. But it's so good to see you. We missed you at church on Sunday.

Markko: Yeah, you know -- finals.

Mrs. Burns: I had a long talk with your mother. She says that since you got that nice new girlfriend, you spend all your time studying and that you've gotten into some wonderful colleges. She's so proud. Now what can I get you?

Markko: Nothing. You know, I was -- I'm just looking.

Mrs. Burns: I bet I know why you're here.

Markko: You do?

Mrs. Burns: Your mother couldn't stop talking about how tonight was your big night. So, are you here for supplies?

Cole: Matthew, look.

Matthew: So are you going to go to the prom tonight?

Dorian: What happened to our open and honest relationship?

Langston: We -- we have one.

Dorian: Oh, really? Operation deflower?

Langston: How do you know about that?

Dorian: Lola just told me about it.

Langston: Oh, I knew it. You rotten little bitch!

Jack: Mom? Dad? Mom. Mom! Dad. Dad! Téa, what happened? Why won't you wake up? Oh, my God. They're all dead.

Cole: No, I'm not going to prom.

Matthew: Yeah, me neither.

Cole: So how you doing?

Matthew: You mean the chair?

Cole: Yeah, that.

Matthew: Well, I finally stopped worrying about my grade in gym class. Have you ever seen my triceps? Because, you know, they're getting bigger. Dude, it's not that bad, really.

Rachel: Matt, wait up. You promised not to leave your sister in the dust. Cole --

Cole: Hi, Rachel.

Rachel: Uh, did you need to talk to me about something?

Cole: No, no. I came here to see your mom and Commissioner Buchanan.

Matthew: You wanted to talk to my dad?

Cole: Just did.

Matthew: How'd that go?

Nora: So, now what?

Bo: I don't know. I guess we talk about happened.

Nora: You mean what didn't happen.

Bo: Yeah, okay. But we can't keep avoiding each other. Pretty soon we're going to run out of rooms.

Nora: You know, we've always got the wine cellar.

Bo: No, come on, Nora.

Nora: Okay.

Bo: This is ridiculous. We're not teenagers, you know? We used to married for crying out loud.

Nora: I know, you're right, you're right. We should be able to talk about this like two rational adults.

Bo: Exactly.

Nora: Okay.

Bo: So what the hell happened?

Markko: You think I need supplies?

Mrs. Burns: Like I don't know what happens on prom night.

Markko: What happens?

Mrs. Burns: Aren't you sweet? But you don't have to be embarrassed. I know what you want, and I can help you get it.

Markko: I'm sorry, you do? You can?

Mrs. Burns: Hey, I was a teenager once, too. Now where did I put them? I just finished restocking.

Markko: No, Mrs. Burns -- Mrs. Burns, please, you really don't have to --

Mrs. Burns: Aha. Found them. Here you go.

Markko: Fresh strips?

Mrs. Burns: Now you'll be minty fresh for your big make out session.

Markko: Right. Minty fresh.

Mrs. Burns: Totally. That's what you kids say, isn't it?

Markko: Totally.

Mrs. Burns: What's the matter, honey? Do you need something else? Oh, wait a minute. How could I be so stupid? You need rubbers, don't you?

Dorian: Langston, don't -- don't blame Lola for anything. In fact, I'm grateful --

Langston: You told Dorian that I'm sleeping with Markko tonight?

Lola: I was worried about you.

Langston: Are you kidding me? How did you find out? You been stalking us? Going through our stuff? Watching us?

Dorian: Watching what?

Langston: This must have just made your day, huh?

Lola: What are you talking about?

Langston: You knew that if you went running to Dorian that she'd try and screw things up for us and then you could have Markko all to yourself.

Lola: I don't want him.

Langston: Good, because he doesn't want you. He wants me. He's my boyfriend and I am sleeping with him tonight and there is nothing that you can do about it. Comprende?

Lola: Good. Go ahead.

Langston: And there's nothing that you can do about it, either. You can't stop this.

Jack: Mom, please don't be dead. Wait, are you breathing? You're alive. Dad! Dad! You're okay! Téa! You're okay, too! Don't worry, I'll get you guys help. 911 -- Did they already call you?

Powell: Did who call?

Jack: My mom and dad. They're sick. You have to help them.

Powell: Put the phone down, Jack. Right now.

Jack: How do you know my name?

Nora: You know what? I've changed my mind.

Bo: What?

Nora: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Bo: Hey, we --

Nora: It's a non-issue, Bo.

Bo: We almost kissed.

Nora: We were worried about our Matthew and we were leaning on each other a little bit.

Bo: And that's what worries me.

Nora: Why does that worry you?

Bo: We can't just lean on each other.

Nora: Why not?

Bo: There are a whole bunch of reasons, you know? The most obvious one -- you're with my brother.

Nora: Exactly. I mean, why are we looking for trouble here? Haven't we had enough these last months for an entire lifetime?

Bo: I agree with that.

Nora: Okay, so can we -- we're down here, right?

Bo: Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted to clear the air.

Nora: Okay, consider it cleared.

Cole: It was, uh, it was good to see your dad -- scary, but good.

Matthew: He didn't break your kneecaps or anything?

Cole: Well, I wasn't here to talk about the accident. It came up, but it was cool.

Matthew: So what did you need to talk to him about?

Cole: About Starr and me and our baby.

Starr: I'm going to let you two talk, okay?

Dorian: No, wait. Starr, I think you should stay for this.

Langston: But she has nothing to do with this.

Dorian: Really? Your cousin is a cautionary tale about the perils of underage sex.

Starr: Well, this cautionary tale has homework.

Dorian: Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

Starr: No, really, I do not want to talk about this tonight.

Dorian: Why didn't you come to me about this?

Langston: You're kidding, right?

Dorian: No.

Langston: Okay, Dorian. Here's the deal, okay? I love Markko and he loves me. We've been together for two years. We know what we're doing and this is happening tonight whether you like it or not.

Markko: Uh, nope, nope. I don't need rubbers.

Mrs. Burns: Your mother would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't make sure you got some rubbers.

Markko: My mother?

Mrs. Burns: I hear there's a chance of rain tonight. There you go. Wouldn't want you ruining your fancy new shoes.

Markko: Oh, rubbers.

Mrs. Burns: Your mother told me what she spent on those shoes.

Markko: Thanks, Mrs. Burns.

Mrs. Burns: Oh, no problem. I can't wait to tell her I ran in to you.

Markko: You know, you don't have to --

Mrs. Burns: Oh, of course I do. She'll be so happy I helped you get ready for your big night. Now, will that be all or will there be anything else?

Markko: No, that'll be all. Thanks.

Matthew: So what about the baby?

Cole: Well, we think there might be a mistake. You know, about how she died.

Matthew: Man, I'm sorry.

Cole: Thanks.

Matthew: You okay?

Cole: Yeah, it's just, you know, a little weird having to deal with all this again.

Rachel: Matt, can I talk to Cole for a second?

Matthew: Yeah, sure.

Rachel: Are you okay getting inside by yourself?

Matthew: Remember? I left you in the dust.

Rachel: How's it all going?

Cole: We're just trying to find out what happened to our baby.

Rachel: Is that it?

Cole: Yeah. What else could there be?

Rachel: Well, this is the first time you've seen Matt in his wheelchair, right?

Cole: Yeah, it was.

Rachel: Well, it looks like it went okay.

Cole: Because of him. He seems like he's --

Rachel: Like he's accepting what happened? Moving on with his life? He is, and that's a good thing.

Cole: He shouldn't have to be moving on. I mean, he's like that because of me. I did that to him. [Phone rings] Sorry, it's my friend.

Rachel: It's okay.

Cole: Yeah, hey. What's going on?

Markko: [Whispering] I need your help.

Cole: I can barely hear you.

Markko: I need your help. Can you come meet me?

Cole: Are you okay?

Markko: No, I'm, like, an inch away from total humiliation.

Cole: Okay. Well, what's going on?

Markko: Just come meet me, please.

Cole: Okay, sure. Where are you? I'll be right there.

Powell: Jack, I know your name because they told me you needed help here.

Jack: It's my mom and dad and my dad's friend. They're breathing but they won't wake up.

Powell: Well, I'm here now so you don't need to call anyone.

Jack: So you know what's wrong with them?

Powell: Yeah, I know what's wrong with them.

Jack: Then why won't they wake up?

Powell: Well, because somebody hurt them. You know the bad man that hurt your mom and killed those other people?

Jack: My dad thinks it's mcpain, but my mom says it's someone else.

Powell: Who do you think it is?

Jack: Aren't there supposed to be two ambulance guys? And why aren't you taking them to the hospital?

Powell: Who do you think did this, Jack? Who do you think hurt your parents and their friend?

Jack: You. It was you.

Langston: Markko and I have been dating for two years.

Dorian: It's such a cliché. Do you have any idea how many girls lose their virginity on prom night?

Langston: We picked tonight because it's our anniversary.

Dorian: If you think it's such a good idea, why did you keep it a secret?

Langston: Because it's private. Lola ruined that, but she's not going to ruin tonight and neither are you.

Cole: Markko, what's going on?

Markko: Dude, come here.

Cole: What?

Markko: I know the lady behind the counter.

Cole: What?

Markko: She knows tonight is the prom.

Cole: Okay, so?

Markko: So? She keeps trying to sell me fresh strips and rubbers -- the shoe kind, and telling me how much she talks to my mom.

Cole: Oh.

Markko: Yeah, right. And if I don't -- if I don't get the condoms, Langston is going to kill me. So will you please get them for me? Dude, please, please?

Cole: Sure, no problem.

Markko: Thank you. Thank you. I owe you big time.

Cole: So, I guess this means you're sleeping with Langston after prom?

Markko: Uh, yeah. Did I leave that part out?

Cole: Kind of.

Markko: Yeah, we are.

Langston: Say something, please?

Dorian: I think you're very mature in many ways but I believe you are much too young for this. You're intellectually gifted, you have the potential to be a very fine writer --

Langston: Dorian, I'm not going to get pregnant.

Dorian: I'm sure that Starr did not intend to get pregnant.

Langston: She made a spur of the moment decision because she felt that she was never going to see Cole again.

Dorian: Is Markko going somewhere?

Langston: No, Dorian. I'm not sleeping with Markko because he's pushing for it or because it's prom night or because we feel that we're never going to see each other again. I'm sleeping with him because I love him and he loves me, too. This is what we both want -- what we both decided, together.

Dorian: Sounds very mature.

Langston: I'm not a child any more.

[Lola sighs]

Ray: Mija, Starr told me there was trouble between you and Langston again.

Lola: I just want to be alone.

Ray: You can't keep doing this.

Lola: Doing what?

Ray: You promised me you were going to stop bothering Langston and her boyfriend.

Lola: Why does everyone else in the world get to be happy but me, huh?

Ray: You can be happy. You just have to find another way to do it -- a way that doesn't hurt these people.

Lola: And how do I do that?

Ray: Why don't you start with this?

Lola: The school directory?

Ray: Yeah. Look at all the boys in here in your school and stop focusing on the one you can't have.

Lola: Do you hate me?

Ray: Of course I don't hate you.

Lola: Then why are you always trying to change me?

Ray: I -- I blame myself for what has happened. I was away from you for a long time -- for too long. You needed to be loved. You started thinking somehow you should just take it.

Lola: I just want a boyfriend. What's wrong with that?

Ray: Nothing. You just have to find another boy. And mija, know -- in your heart, know, when you find him, whoever he is, will be the luckiest guy in the world. Hold on to that. You can do it. You can do it.

[Lola sighs]

Rachel: You got a lot of homework?

Matthew: Not really.

Rachel: You okay about before? Seeing Cole?

Matthew: It was fine.

Rachel: So it's not homework and it's not Cole.

Matthew: What?

Rachel: Whatever is wrong.

Matthew: Nothing is wrong.

Rachel: On the drive home you passed up two burger joints and a taco stand. Something's wrong. You know what? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.

Matthew: The prom's tonight and I asked this girl. Don't get excited. She's just a friend.

Rachel: There's no shame in asking a friend to go to the prom.

Matthew: She said no.

Rachel: Well, did she say why?

Matthew: I know why. I've been a terrible friend.

Nora: Bo, I am very glad that we have cleared the elephant out of the room.

Bo: Yeah. I'm sure it wasn't helping Matthew any.

Nora: Uh-uh. And he's the most important thing.

Bo: Exactly right. So now can we stop avoiding each other?

Nora: Oh, for crying out loud -- come here.

Clint: Is it possible for me to go one week in this house without seeing my girlfriend in the arms of my brother?

[Bo sighs]

Clint: Seriously, you two, am I missing something here?

Powell: You think I did this to your mom and dad and to their friend?

Jack: I don't know, but you're acting weird and -- Sam! Sam!

Powell: It's okay, it's okay.

Jack: Sam!

Powell: Sam is fine, Jack.

Jack: No, he's not! You're going to hurt us like you did my parents!

Rebecca: No, we're not, Jack. You and your brother are perfectly safe.

[Phone rings]

Jack: Who are you? Give me my brother!

Powell: Well look at that, Jack.

Starr: Come on, Dad. I expect that you answer on the first ring.

Powell: Listen very carefully, Jack. You are going to do exactly what I say and no one gets hurt. 

Nora: Okay, Clint, you can't honestly be upset because Bo and I were hugging.

Clint: Right now? Yes.

Nora: Well, that's ridiculous.

Clint: You think I don't know that?

Nora: You do?

Clint: Of course I do. You two are dealing with a crisis with your son -- that has brought you closer together.

Nora: Well, then what's the problem?

Clint: The problem is, can't you two get close without pushing me away? And I truly don't care if it's not intentional, all right? Because I am sick and tired of it. And I -- I freely admit I'm jealous.

Nora: Well, then why didn't you say anything?

Clint: What kind of a creep gets jealous at a time like this?

Nora: Okay, well, then you know that there's nothing going on, right?

Clint: Are you sure?

Bo: You've got a point, though, Clint. Nora and I have gotten closer. Yeah, we were just talking about that.

Nora: Okay, Bo, what are you doing?

Clint: Look, Nora, Nora, let the man talk, all right?

Bo: I don't want you to get bent out of shape.

Clint: It's too late. I'm already bent out of shape. Now, what is going on with you and Nora?

Bo: I almost kissed her the other day. Now, it's the truth.

Rachel: So you asked your friend to go to the prom but she already has a date? And even if she didn't, she wouldn't go with you anyway because you said mean things to her.

Matthew: I mean, I tried to apologize and everything.

Rachel: This is great.

Matthew: Why is this great?

Rachel: Do you know how many people don't get to go to the prom with the person that they want?

Matthew: So?

Rachel: So, some of them aren't even in wheelchairs.

Matthew: So you're telling me my life would suck no matter what?

Rachel: Yep, pretty much.

Matthew: Okay, I'll be in my room.

Rachel: Well, let me know if you need any help getting ready.

Matthew: I don't have a date, remember?

Rachel: Is there a law against going by yourself?

Matthew: I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

Rachel: Who said anything about proving anything? I just thought you might have a good time.

Matthew: Sitting in a corner by myself -- I mean, what if it sucks, Rachel?

Rachel: Well, then you can just blame me. So, do you have a tux or what?

Matthew: I'm a Buchanan. Of course I have a tux.

Rachel: Come on.

Markko: Lang and me got it all planned out. Tonight after prom, we're going to -- you know -- do it.

Cole: And it's your job to get the protection?

Markko: What? I'm going to have her do that? Oh, God, what's she going to say if she finds out I was scared of the sales lady?

Cole: All right, look, don't worry. I'll get them for you. What do you want?

Markko: I told you.

Cole: They have different, you know, qualities. It's like toothpaste. You know how it says for, like, sensitive gums or the whitening brightening.

Markko: Surprise me.

Cole: All right.

Markko: Hey, dude, are you sure you're cool with this?

Cole: Safe sex, hell yeah.

Markko: No, that I didn't tell you about me and Lang?

Cole: No, I mean, that's private stuff.

Markko: Yeah, but used to be we wouldn't make a move without telling each other.

Cole: Yeah, well, I changed all that when I started using drugs.

Markko: That's ancient history. You got help. You've been clean a long time.

Cole: It's not as long as you think.

Markko: What do you mean?

Cole: Um, you know the drug test that you helped me out with?

Markko: Yeah, because the EMT’s gave you some pills after Zach knocked you out. Oh, no -- Cole, are you serious?

Cole: Yeah, man, I totally used you.

Markko: Why didn't you just tell me the truth?

Cole: Because I'm an addict. And that's what addicts do -- we lie. And I'm asking you to forgive me. I know I have no right to, but I'm asking. And if you can't, I get it.

Langston: I'm almost an adult, Dorian.

[Dorian sighs]

Langston: So it would really mean a lot to me if you could trust me.

Dorian: You're not the one that I'm worried about.

Langston: But you like Markko.

Dorian: He's still a guy.

Langston: What's that supposed to mean?

Dorian: You know the way guys are.

Langston: He's not going to leave me. And I already told you, I'm not going to end up pregnant. Markko's buying the condoms -- I hope.

Dorian: You hope?

Langston: Well, I offered, but he wanted to. Everything else we're doing 50/50.

Dorian: Oh, does that mean you're bringing the blanket for the beach?

Langston: We're not doing it at the beach or in the back of his car or at the Angel Square hotel. We want our first time to be really special.

Dorian: And may I ask where this rendezvous is taking place?

Langston: The Palace.

Dorian: And you're going 50/50 on that?

Langston: Yep, even though he offered to pay for the whole thing. [Langston sighs] You know, I have health class, all right? And do you know why kids my age end up pregnant or with an std?

Dorian: I'm a doctor!

Langston: It's because they feel that planning it out in advance makes it dirty somehow -- bad. But I'm doing it my way because I know that it isn't wrong. So can we be done with the inquisition, please?

[Langston sighs]

[Dorian sighs]

Langston: What are you thinking?

Dorian: I'm just wondering what your mother would say.

Langston: I don't know if she'd understand. Actually, she might even be against it. But it doesn't matter what she would say. She's not here. You are.

Powell: Are we clear on this, Jack? Because if we're not, I can have my friend take Sam --

Jack: I can do it, okay?

[Phone ringing]

Jack: Hey, Starr.

Starr: Jack? Why are you answering dad's phone?

Jack: He's in the kitchen making popcorn.

Starr: You're kidding, right?

Jack: He's taking us all to the movies. He says theater popcorn's lousy.

Starr: What? Wait, he's taking all of you to the movies?

Jack: Yeah, me, Mom, Sam and Dad.

Starr: Mom's up to that?

Jack: I guess. She said that she'll stay as long as me and Sam are. I guess she just wants Dad out of the house.

Starr: Is Dad freaking out that I'm not there?

Jack: No, he has enough to worry about with me, Sam, and Mom.

Starr: What about his car?

Jack: What about it?

Starr: He doesn't want me to bring it back?

Jack: You don't have to.

Starr: Dad said that?

Jack: He didn't really say anything. I just think that you can stay out until he tells you to come back. Okay? Starr, are you there?

Starr: Yeah, can you put Mom on the phone?

Jack: You want to talk to Mom?

Starr: Yeah, put her on the phone, okay?

Jack: Um -- I can't. Dad just came out of the kitchen and he's helping her into the car.

Starr: Oh, okay. Well, I guess I'll call back later.

Jack: We'll be at the movies.

Starr: Right. You know what? Don't tell them that I called. I should be glad that Dad hasn't sent out the swat team yet.

Jack: What? Oh, yeah, right.

Starr: Jack, are you sure you're okay?

Jack: Yeah, I'm fine.

Starr: You're voice sounds kind of funny.

Jack: I got to go help Dad out, okay? I'll talk to you later. I love you.

Starr: Love you? What's going on over there?

Powell: Like father, like son.

Jack: What do you mean?

Powell: You're a natural liar.

Jack: My dad is not a liar!

Powell: Is that what you think?

Rebecca: We should get rid of these envelopes. Since I'm staying with the children, wouldn't want me to pass out.

Powell: That is a very good point. So did you hear that, Jack? You and your brother are going to get to sleep in your own beds tonight. And Auntie Rebecca is going to take very good care of you.

Jack: What about my parents?

Powell: Oh, well, they're going to come with me.

[Langston sighs]

Starr: Everything okay?

Langston: Well, that depends on your definition.

Starr: You're not locked in your room.

Langston: Yeah, but I could kill Lola for screwing up tonight.

Starr: Okay, well, at least Aunt Dorian doesn't know where you're going. She knows where you're going?

Langston: Well, I thought she'd feel better if she knew we were going to the Palace and not some seedy motel.

Starr: You're going to the Palace? Very nice.

Langston: You don't think she'll show up, do you?

Starr: And pull a Todd Manning?

[Knock on door]

Dorian's voice: Langston, if you're in there, I really need do need to talk to you.

Langston: Uh, sure, coming.

Dorian: Hi.

Langston: Hi.

Starr: Oh -- right, okay. Well, I'm just going to let you two --

Dorian: Thank you, Starr. Okay, could we please sit down?

Langston: Uh, okay.

Dorian: Here, sit down.

Langston: Okay.

Dorian: Good. Well, I wanted to give you this. I got it in Paris.

Langston: [Stuttering] Thank you.

Dorian: Open it up.

Langston: Oh.

Dorian: They're condoms.

Langston: [Stuttering] Yeah, I can see that.

Dorian: A Cramer woman should always be prepared.

Langston: We're going to be careful. I promise.

Dorian: I trust you. I love you.

Langston: Okay, what just happened?

Starr: Don't ask me.

Markko: I just wish you told me sooner. I mean, if I'd have known, I could have helped you more.

Cole: Are we cool?

Markko: You have to ask?

Cole: I just didn't expect --

Markko: What?

Cole: I don't know -- people to be so understanding.

Markko: But you've been a great guy for, like, 18 years. And, yeah, you screwed up for a few months, but you're trying.

Cole: Buy my friend some condoms.

Markko: Wait.

Cole: What?

Markko: I think I need to do this -- myself.

Cole: You're not afraid that the saleslady's going to tell your mom?

Markko: Terrified. But if you can admit everything you did wrong when you were on drugs, I can buy some condoms for me and my gal.

Cole: Are you sure?

Markko: And besides, Langston would never let me live this out if she found out about it.

Cole: Yeah, and Starr would probably get on me, too, for buying for you.

Markko: Man, I wish you guys were coming to prom.

Cole: Yeah, we've just got too much going on right now.

Markko: So that's why you should come -- take your mind off it.

Cole: We're not even together.

Markko: Well, not for long.

Cole: What's that supposed to mean?

Markko: It's all going to work out for the both of us.

Cole: You sound pretty sure of that.

Markko: I am. If you stay clean, you can be anything.

Cole: Thanks.

[Woman screams]

Cole: Oh, I'm sorry.

Woman: No, it's okay.

Cole: Here, let me help you out. Sorry about that.

Woman: It's okay.

Nora: It didn't happen.

Clint: No, no, no, no, no. You almost kissed my brother.

Bo: No, no, no, I almost kissed --

Nora: Okay, it doesn't matter because it didn't happen.

Clint: All right, because it didn't happen, I'm just supposed to get over it?

Nora: There's nothing to get over. It's a non-issue.

Clint: What -- it wasn't a non-issue to Bo.

Nora: Bo's got a big mouth.

Bo: Look, I don't want to get anybody in trouble here.

Nora: Well, it's a little late for that, don't you think?

Bo: Well, she's right. It's no big deal.

Clint: Hey, Bo, don't try to protect her now.

Nora: Are you on his side now?

Clint: At least he's being honest -- unlike you, who's supposedly in love with me.

Nora: I am in love with you, Clint.

Clint: Am I supposed to believe that when you didn't even bother to tell me that you almost made out with my brother?

Bo: No, nobody almost made out.

Clint: Spare me the details.

Bo: I thought you'd want the truth.

Clint: It doesn't mean I have to like it.

Bo: You should've thought of that before you started dating my ex-wife.

Clint: Here we go. Finally, you admit it.

Bo: Admit what?

Clint: That it makes you absolutely nuts.

Bo: What? You wouldn't be nuts if I was dating Viki?

Clint: Oh, come on, Bo.

Nora: Okay, can we just stop this now? Stop this -- this sibling rivalry that you've got going here. Next thing, you'll be arguing over who Pa loved best.

Clint: Well, we don't need to argue that.

Bo: No, we don't. It was him.

Nora: Oh, this is ridiculous.

Clint: Yes, it is, because it was him.

Nora: Okay, Clint -- you're the one that even said that it's perfectly natural for Bo and I to connect over --

Clint: Connect, yeah -- I said connect, not round second base.

Bo: Nobody rounded anything.

Clint: Oh, just a peck on the cheek before you showed her to the door.

Nora: Okay, it didn't happen. Nothing happened. It's not going anywhere. It never will go anywhere. What do we have to do to prove that to you?

Rachel: Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but your son is going to the prom. I thought you might want to take some pictures.

Langston: So what should I do with my hair?

Starr: You know what? Forget the hair for now. I think you need to get on that dress before Aunt Dorian realizes that she gave you French condoms and locks you up until you're 30.

Langston: You know, I don't think she will. I think she was giving me her blessing in a very Dorian way.

Starr: Yeah, she can be cool.

Langston: So now I get to go to prom with my amazing boyfriend, and then spend the night in a fabulous hotel and use the French case that Dorian gave me.

Starr: Yeah, it's going to be great.

Langston: Well, it would be perfect if --

Starr: If what?

Langston: If you and Cole were coming to prom, too.

Cole: Here you go. Sorry about that.

Woman: Thank you.

Cole: Did you get everything else?

Woman: Bobby pins for my daughter. Have fun at the prom, by the way.

Cole: Oh, no, I'm not going to prom.

Woman: I'm sorry. I just figured -- it seems like a pretty big night.

Mrs. Burns: All ready, Markko?

Markko: Mrs. Burns --

Mrs. Burns: Did you forget something?

Lola: Hello, everyone. I know you've been wondering what's been going on with me. Well, just listen up. Papi thinks that I should find another boy and move on. Well, I think that he may be right, but in the meantime, why should my cousin and her boyfriend be happy when I can't? It's not getting angry. It's getting even.

Powell: Goodnight, Jack. Goodnight, Sam. Now, you make sure you mind Rebecca.

Rebecca: When will you be back?

Powell: When it's over.

Rebecca: Be good, boys. Everything is going to be all right. 

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