One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 7/31/08
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Provided By Boo
Proofread By Kathy
(Acoustic guitar playing)
Carlo: Friends. Mendorrans. Countrymen. Lend me your ears. We have been taken for fools for far too long. We have been under the rule of the crass whims of pretenders to the throne. The false reign of Prince Helmut and Princess Tina has come to an end. I give you the true heir to the Hohenstein name, Jonas Chamberlain!
Carlo: And the woman who shall be his queen, Talia Hesser.
[Cheers and applause]
Cristian: Take it easy. It's me, it's me. Save your strength. You're going to be okay, bro.
Cristian: This is going to hurt.
[Antonio moans, grunts]
Cristian: Who did this to you? Was it Carlo? Jonas?
Antonio: Yeah. Tina said you were -- you were dead.
Cristian: I'm here.
Antonio: What happened?
Cristian: Don't talk. We got bigger problems. Got to keep you from bleeding out.
Antonio: And stop a wedding.
Addie: You forced David to divorce me. The only thing I feel like taking on is you.
Dorian: What in heaven's name is going on here?
David: Addie Cramer?
Addie: Yes, David?
David: Will you marry me?
Starr: Where were you?
Blair: Oh, I -- I was --
Starr: Are they the same clothes you had on yesterday?
Blair: No, they arenít.
Starr: Yes, they are. You're just getting in, aren't you?
Blair: You are in no position to lecture me, young lady.
Starr: Okay, but you werenít with Dad, were you?
Blair: God, no.
Starr: Okay. I know you're a grownup, but I just hope you used protection.
Nora: You're dying to call David to find out if he's gotten to Dorian.
Clint: What makes you say that?
Nora: Your body language.
Clint: I'm sitting here enjoying a late-afternoon lunch with you.
Nora: You haven't touched your sandwich and your feet are pointing towards the door. Busted.
Clint: Or clairvoyant. Excuse me while I answer the door. Hello, Cole.
Clint: We had this talk before. Why don't you just call me Clint, all right? We're family here.
Cole: Right, sure.
Clint: Okay. Nora, work on him, would you?
Cole: Hey, do you got a second?
Nora: Sure, shoot.
Cole: I need to know, straight up.
Cole: What are my chances of getting custody of my kid?
Dallas: Clint Buchanan, you handsome devil. Give me some sugar.
Dallas: In the flesh.
Dallas: Asa Buchanan, you lowdown, two-timing, three-timing brute. I ought to wear you out for what you have done.
Bo: I'm sorry, ma'am. But I -- I have no idea what -- excuse me, Dallas?
Dallas: Oh, no, you moron. We're in Paris, Texas.
Rex: Take it easy, lady. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any disrespect, honest.
Dallas: Hold on. You must be Bo.
Rex: Uh, yeah.
Dallas: Well, now I've heard all about you from your lowlife daddy. Ms. Renee Divine.
Charlie: This isn't a "see you around" type of goodbye, is it?
Viki: No, it's just a little longer than that.
Charlie: Are you actually going off somewhere?
Viki: Mm-hmm. I'm going to Africa. I've been offered a sort of honorary ambassadorship to promote heart health, organ transplants. Things like that.
Charlie: Are you sure that you're up for a trip like that?
Viki: I think so, yeah. Um, it -- it'll be good, I think.
Charlie: Well, it's right up your alley.
Charlie: Doctor says your okay --
Viki: I spoke with my cardiologist who said that I'm absolutely fine. I feel absolutely fine.
Charlie: Then that's what's important. I mean, that you're all right.
Viki: I will be, yeah. Obviously, I'm still concerned about Jessica. You know, her situation is so tenuous, but she actually told me that she wants me to go. Says she needs space.
Charlie: Two oceans' worth. That's a lot of space.
Charlie: I mean, for her but for you, too.
Viki: I know. To be honest with you, I -- I'm not entirely sure I want that.
Dallas: [As Renee] Well, you are the spittin' image of your pa, and let's just hope that's where the likeness stops.
Bo: It's, uh -- it's real nice to see you, Renee.
Renee: Well, you just might change your mind about that after I put a bullet in your backside.
Rex: Gee, Pa. What'd you do to rub this fine filly wrong?
Renee: I am not livestock, and you are old enough to know just exactly what your daddy has done.
Bo: You know, I -- I'm sorry, but I don't know exactly what you're talking about, but I can assure you --
Renee: Assure me? The only thing I'm sure of is that you have been runnin' roughshod over a bunch of girls who can hardly stand up for themselves, much less stand up to the likes of a creature like you.
Bo: Can you speak English?
Renee: You are toyin' with the affections of a single mother who is trying to provide for her child and makin' promises you have no intention of keeping.
Clint: So, how has old London town been treating you?
Dallas: Not so well. My flat, completely destroyed during those floods last year. The whole place is totally gutted.
Clint: Well, damn, I have a lot of happy memories of that flat.
Dallas: You should see it now. A thing of beauty.
Clint: Just like its owner.
Dallas: Oh. What about you?
Clint: Oh, well, these days I'm pretty much all Buchanan Enterprises.
Dallas: Oh, well, not all, I hope.
Dorian: Okay, that's enough. This gig is over. Stop! Thank you. There is going to be no wedding here today.
David: I believe that's for Addie to decide.
Dorian: It's already been decided, David. Your marriage to my sister never existed. Why do you refuse to accept that?
David: It's been a whirlwind. Neither of us truly knew what we had until it was gone, baby, gone.
Dorian: Yes, you knew what you had. You had access to my bank account.
David: "We've only just begun. So many roads to cross. We'll start out walking and learn to run."
Addie: Oh, David, that's so beautiful.
Dorian: That's the lyrics to a Carpenters' song.
[Violinist plays "We've Only Just Begun"]
Dorian: Stop it! Who's the guy in the suit?
David: The minister from Bob's Bridal Barn.
Dorian: David, you get out of here. You are not going to undo the undoing of your marriage to my sister. It's over, fini, basta.
David: Dorian, I believe I was speaking to Addie. You want to get paid?
[Violinist plays "We've Only Just Begun"]
David: So what do you say, Addie, baby? Marry me -- a little?
Cristian: Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, okay?
Antonio: No hay mucho tiempo.
Cristian: Yeah, there won't be much time if you open up that wound.
Antonio: I'll be fine. All right, we got to keep moving. Hey, wait a second. Where's Sarah?
Antonio: Cris, what happened to Sarah?
Cristian: I had her. Even after the boat went over the falls, I -- I had a hold of her.
Cristian: But the water kept pulling and yanked her out of my hands.
Antonio: Cris --
Antonio: Cris, wait.
Cristian: Sarah is gone, Antonio.
Antonio: You don't know that.
Cristian: Yeah, well, you weren't there, you don't know what it was like, okay? I tried to save her. I had a hold of her but I couldnít. It's over! It's over!
Cristian: It was over the minute I let Hesser tie her to that boat.
Cain: If only I could find a way to get a hold of those jewels.
Tina: I am grieving for my daughter, you self-absorbed jerk, and all you can think about are those stupid jewels.
Carlo: You look positively regal.
Talia: Drop dead.
Carlo: Enjoy the nuptials. But please, don't lose your heads. We have professionals on hand to help with that later.
Tina: You can't let them do this to us.
Cain: Oh, Mendorra, sweet, innocent child of mine! Civilized child, save us!
Carlo: In these dark times of tyranny, all we have to hold on to is the law. It is the life raft in the face of a sinking ship.
Tina: Oh, like a sinking ship you tied my daughter to?
Cain: Yes, that's right! He killed Tina's daughter, a sweet, innocent child.
Cain: Okay, yeah, yeah. We were imposters, okay? But he, Carlo Hesser, is a murdering tyrant who --
Carlo: Mendorrans, Mendorrans. These two have committed treason against your country.
Carlo: Mendorran law is clear on that one point. Such a crime merits only one punishment. Death.
[Cheers and applause]
Rex: [As Bo] I can see y'all got a mess of catchin' up to do, so I am going to let you do your thang.
Rex: It was a pleasure meeting you, Renee.
Dallas: [As Renee] Thank you.
Rex: Give him hell.
Renee: You know, your son's a real nice boy.
Bo: Ah, he's no son of mine.
Renee: Oh, that's funny because when you come up from Reno, all you can do is gush over your boys and what hell raisers they are. That is until one of them starts to give it back to you and then all of a sudden, you're a fit to disown them.
Bo: See, you don't understand.
Renee: Oh, oh, oh -- I don't? Poor you, is that it? You're unappreciated? Or could it be that you are just plum awful with words? I mean, seeing how you talk to your son, my girls, and even me --
Bo: Did I do something to offend you?
Renee: I'm over you. But Emma Bradley? She's got some notion that you are going to leave your batty wife and spirit her and her child off to fantasy land. Now, are you going to make good on that word or are you going to cut her loose like you cut me?
Blair: Hey, hey, Starr.
Starr: Okay, all I'm saying is the next time you take the walk of shame, you should've come in from the back.
Blair: I have nothing to be ashamed of, but thank you so much for your advice.
Starr: I just try to learn from my own mistakes.
Blair: Hey, hey. You feeling all right?
Starr: Um, yeah. I feel good, better actually. You know, I don't feel sick all the time. I don't feel like I have to throw up every minute.
Blair: Well, you're in your second trimester and pretty soon, that little baby in there is going to hear every word that you say.
Blair: Yeah. I used to sing to you and Jack all the time.
Starr: What'd you used to sing?
Blair: It takes years it takes time for the light to reach the earth and shine
Starr: Look at you here you are burning bright
Blair: I felt that.
Starr: Oh -- she's kicking.
Cole: I can't believe Starr's really trying to push this on me.
Nora: Well, she believes that she's doing the right thing.
Cole: How is giving our baby away the right thing?
Nora: If you don't think this is the right thing, then you shouldn't sign these papers and you'll retain parental custody.
Cole: But it won't stop there, will it?
Nora: Not if Starr wants to challenge you.
Cole: Okay, and if she does, what are my chances?
Nora: Well, you'll win, but it won't be pretty. I mean, your lawyer's going to have to dredge up a lot of stuff on Starr and -- and use it against her.
Cole: Wait, "dredge up"?
Nora: Dirt, dirt. Filthy dirt, lots of it.
Cole: Dirt about Starr? No, I'm not going to do that.
Nora: Okay, to win these cases, it's not pretty. I mean, you saw what Todd did to the McBains when he was trying to win over Sam.
Cole: Me and Starr aren't like that.
Nora: Cole, sweety, this is family court and it's brutal, and it's personal, and once you start this, you don't stop at anything but winning.
Cole: Hey, I don't want to win, Nora. I just want what's best for the baby.
Nora: I know that's what you want. And I also know that's what Starr wants. But do you really think that's what Todd wants?
Viki: I don't want to be careless, you know, with my life here in Llanview.
Charlie: Why would leaving be careless?
Viki: Because I feel like I would be leaving everything to chance.
Charlie: Okay, but what if the bigger risk is not taking the chance to sort out your life? Striking out for new experiences kind of worked out for you when you went to Paris, Texas, didn't it?
Viki: So you're telling me to -- to leave, huh?
Charlie: Viki, the last thing that I want in this world is for you to go. But what I want isn't necessarily what you need right now.
Viki: What do I need, Charlie?
Charlie: Maybe you just need somebody to tell you that what you're worried about leaving here is going to be right here when you get back.
Addie: David, you did everything right. The music, the speech, getting down on one knee. It was all so empty.
David: What? No, it's not. It's not empty. It's full. It's very full.
Addie: But not of love.
David: What -- come here a second. What happened to us? You were totally into me. Snagging me was on your list.
Addie: So was dumping you. I just never got the chance till now.
David: "One, try asopao. Two, memorize the constitution. Three, count to one million out loud. Four, divorce David. Five --"
David: You were going to leave me just before taking a nudist cruise around the world?
Addie: Well, I couldn't very well meet men on the cruise with my husband in tow, could I?
David: Yeah, but when Dorian made me sign those papers last night, you were so upset. And I want to go on the cruise.
Addie: Being upset is part of the divorce experience. David, you're loads of fun, and that body --
David: Would look great on the cruise.
Addie: Oh, it sure would. You'll make a wonderful husband for someone one day. But you don't love me. And I don't love you. And the last thing on my list is love.
David: Okay, fine. But until you find love --
Addie: It's over for us, David.
Dorian: Thank you! Ah! You heard her, David. It's over. Okay, when are you going to finally get out of here?
Starr: It's like a little flutter.
Blair: How's it make you feel?
Starr: It makes me feel wiped from all the fighting.
Blair: What -- what do you mean, "fighting"? What happened before? Was Cole here or something?
Starr: No, I haven't talked to him in a while. Marcie's lawyer sent him over the papers, and he hasn't gotten back to me.
Blair: Well, it's a very big decision, sweetheart.
Starr: I know, but I really know that it's what's best for my baby, you know?
Blair: Well, maybe Cole will come around. But in the meantime, you know, if you push him --
Starr: I don't want to push him, and I'm not pushing him. I just -- I want our child to have the life that it deserves, you know? But, I mean, what if he doesn't sign those papers, and the adoption doesn't go through? Then what happens? Is the baby just his?
Dallas: I knew it. You and Viki got back together.
Clint: Uh, no, no. Viki and I are just friends, and parents.
Dallas: Ah. Well, who, then? Do I know her?
Clint: Nora Hanen.
Dallas: Your brother's ex-wife?
Moe: [As Jeremiah] You're a man out of time, aren't you?
Rex: How'd you know?
Jeremiah: Well, it's those threads, man. It's 1968. Tune in and turn on. Don't be square.
Rex: Uh, sorry, but tie-dye doesn't do it for me. J
Jeremiah: Oh, it's not just the clothes, man. It's your state of mind. Have you ever seen someone through the space?
Jeremiah: What are you doing tonight? You ever been to a love-in?
Dallas: [As Renee] You're always telling women what they want to hear, but you never back it up.
Bo: Yeah, but, see, I never made any of those promises.
Renee: Oh, I don't want to hear it. Jeremiah: Hey, you two are killing my high.
Renee: Just take care of it, because I'm not so sure I can stop Emma from doing what she's prepared to do to you.
Bo: Excuse me?
Jeremiah: Psst. Psst, come here, sugar. I got something that'll take that edge off.
Rex: How did that Renee become our Renee?
Bo: The hell if I know, Balsom. I swear, I don't know anything anymore.
[Wedding music playing]
Cristian: If we're going to save Talia and get you out of here, we got to move now.
Antonio: How? Okay, because there's no way we're just going to walk out of here.
Cardinal: It is your duty, each of you, to find the greatest joy in the company of the other. To remember that in both interest and affection, you will be one, undivided.
Antonio: There's way too many guards out there.
Cristian: Got a suggestion?
Antonio: Put your cloak back on.
Cardinal: Jonas Byron Chamberlain, will you take Talia Cosima Hesser to be your wife?
Jonas: I will.
Guard: Who are you?
Cristian: I am Friar Pablo.
Cardinal: And Talia Cosima Hesser, will you take Jonas Byron Chamberlain to be your husband?
Cristian: I am here to transport this poor soul to the sanctuary before consecrating his body to the earth.
Cardinal: Until death do you part?
Talia: Hell no.
Guard: Royals say no to burial.
Cristian: What are we going to do with the body?
Guard: Crematorium. The prince wants it burned.
Dallas: Hmm, you and Nora, huh? That must make for some interesting dinner parties.
Clint: We're all adults.
Dallas: Uh-huh. No overturned tables?
Clint: Uh, nope.
Dallas: No -- food fights?
Clint: Uh, yup.
[Clint and Dallas laugh]
Dallas: There's the Buchanan family I know and love. A little bit country, whole lot of rock 'n' roll.
Clint: Now, what lucky guy has snapped you up?
Dallas: Me? Not one.
Clint: Oh, two, then. Oh, Dallas, really, three?
Dallas: No. It's not like that.
Clint: Okay, if you say so.
Clint: Say, are you hungry?
Dallas: Oh, starving. Hate airplane food.
Clint: I didn't know airplanes serve food anymore. Come on out to the kitchen, I'll make you something to eat and you can tell me all about it.
Dallas: That's a done deal.
Clint: All right.
Dallas: [As Renee] Hmm. What a pickle.
Moe: [As Jeremiah] I could eat 50 more brownies right about now.
Renee: You know, I should just ban that man from my place. All he does is make chaos.
Jeremiah: A great man once said, "All is chaos under heaven and the situation is excellent."
Rex: [As Bo] So you going to slap me, Pa?
Bo: Oh, knock it off, Balsom. I'll tell you what, I was a good kid.
Rex: [As himself] Sounds like Asa didn't make life easy.
Bo: Clint and I handled it the best we could. But the way he treated women, you know, Renee, my mother, that was tough.
Rex: Was your mom always a little -- off?
Bo: She had her good days. Mostly bad. It didn't help that Pa kept her locked up. Clint and I tried to do something. You know what? People think that being a Buchanan is a free ride. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Dorian: Are you still here?
David: Actually, the joke's on you. I had to sell Addie's golf clubs to pay for the minister and the virtuoso. Hope you're happy.
Dorian: I am thrilled because Addie has kicked you like the bad habit that you are. However, you know, as a lovely little farewell gift, I'm going to allow you to keep all the designer clothes which you purchased at my expense.
David: How can you be so heartless?
Dorian: You are the one who left me at the altar.
David: That again?
Dorian: And you mocked me in front of Viki.
David: No, I didn't! Will you let that go?
Blair: Well, it sounds to me like the yelling is about to end because I think aunt Dorian is about to kick David Vickers out, finally. You hear that?
Starr: Oh, there's going to be a lot more yelling to come, especially when Cole and Dad take me to court.
Blair: Sweetheart, you know, I think that it's inevitable, I mean, unless one of you gives in.
Starr: Yeah, Cole. I mean, what do you think? Do you think I should keep the baby?
Nora: What do you think will happen to the baby if Marcie and Michael adopt it?
Cole: They'll take care of it.
Nora: And do you think they'll love it?
Cole: It'll be theirs.
Nora: Okay. So, yes, they will love it. And what do you think is going to happen with you?
Cole: Just go back to the way it was before, being alone.
Nora: Alone? Is that -- is that how you really feel? You don't feel like you're a part of this family?
Cole: I feel like a rude guest that causes trouble 24/7 even though you've been nothing but nice to me.
Nora: Oh, well, I certainly don't see you that way.
Cole: You -- you and Clint were in the middle of having lunch when I barge in here and --
Nora: Okay, you know what? You need to stop this now. Cole, you are so busy having a pity party, you don't even see the reality right in front of your face. I love having you in my life. I want you in my life, which means I want you to come to me when you're hurting. I see you trying to hang on to this baby and create a family for yourself and losing Starr in the process and it's killing me, killing me because there's Matthew and there's me and Clint and Nigel and Renee and we're all here offering you a family, a readymade family with our arms wide open and our hearts so full of love. But I can't promise you that we'll be there forever because you and I both know we can't back that up but I can certainly say, without any reservation, that you are so wanted and you are so loved and isn't that what a family is all about? Do you really need a baby to make you feel that way?
Carlo: Talia Cosima.
Cain: Carlo's kid's got nerve.
Tina: Yeah, well, someone around here has to.
Cain: Maybe she can get us off the hook, huh?
Cardinal: Ms. Hesser is unwilling to --
Talia: I want to see Antonio.
Carlo: You're in no position to bargain.
Talia: And if I don't marry your puppet-king, where will you be? Your hold on the throne will evaporate.
Carlo: If you don't take your vows, you'll end up with Rogan and Tina on the chopping block.
Cristian: You're going to cremate him?
Guard: The prince wants the ashes delivered to the royal bed chamber.
Second Guard: Sick, yah?
First Guard: Yah. It will remind the new wife not to cross with him.
Cristian: Yes, yes, yes. The only cross this poor soul is going to see is from the heavens. I mean, look at this guy. Look at this guy.
Carlo: It's just a case of jitters. But as they say, the show must go on.
Jonas: Is everything all right, darling?
Talia: Bite me. Let's just do it, please.
Cardinal: All right. Talia Hesser, will you take Jonas Chamberlain to be your husband?
Cardinal: Excuse me --
Carlo: She said fine. Please, let's hurry.
Carlo: Your Excellency, there's another party booked for this square and I'm anxious to see it begin.
Cristian: How bad is it?
Antonio: I think I'm going to make it -- not if we run into another bunch of these guys.
Cristian: Well, Mendorra's not exactly a democracy. I'm sure this place is crawling with them.
Antonio: I was hoping it wasn't going to come to this.
Cristian: Come to what?
Antonio: Get undressed.
Blair: You know, sweetie, I don't know if I feel comfortable weighing in about the baby.
Dorian: Get out!
Starr: I just said --
David: Oh, hi, Starr. How's my favorite teenage statistic?
Blair: Would you leave now, please?
David: I've always done right by you.
Blair: Oh, yeah? Since when?
David: Since Todd said baby Jack was dead and gave him to a couple of nuns in a Mexican airport and I stepped in and sold the little tyke to a stranger who promised to love him.
Blair: Aw, gee, thanks.
Addie: Wait, you can't leave without David Vickers. Delphina told me to make sure you end up together.
David: No, that can't be right.
Addie: She swore it would make David Vickers happy.
David: Him or me?
Blair and Dorian: Get out!
David: All right, all right, for crying out loud.
David: Starr, papa bear is here.
Dallas: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a harem.
Clint: No, it's not a harem. No, "entourage," I think, is the word.
Dallas: Oh. Hi.
Nora: Huh. Hi. Huh. Do I know you?
Clint: Uh, Nora, you remember, uh, Dallas Jones from London?
Dallas: His ex.
Moe: [As Jeremiah] Renee has something she'd like to tell you. Love-in, 7:00, train station, be there. Have you ever noticed how good white bread is?
Bo: Oh, hey -- don't even think about it.
Dallas: [As Renee] Well, Asa, I was just a tad harsh with you.
Bo: [Asa] Well, you, uh -- you just -- you called it like you saw it.
Renee: The fact is -- you know, I know you're a lout. You're a lovable lout but you're a lout, just the same. You just can't get close to folks and, well, I have known that all along and so I -- I can't hold that against you.
Asa: Look, I don't want you making excuses for me, okay? But I do want you to believe this, please, when I say, I want to do right by you, Renee.
Renee: And all I want is for you to fix this mess with Emma. And here's your chance.
Viki: I suppose I should, uh, I should go.
Charlie: Yeah, well, one more thing, um -- here.
Viki: What is it?
Charlie: It's a sobriety chip. It means I'm one month sober, which I know isn't much but, I mean, so, 30 days is 30 days, so --
Viki: I'm so proud of you. Here.
Charlie: No, no, I want you to keep it. And then when you come back, maybe we'll trade it up for 60.
Viki: I would like that. I would like that very much.
Cardinal: By the power vested in me, I now proclaim you man and wife.
Carlo: The royal family of Mendorra is restored!
[Cheers and applause]
Carlo: Long live the true heirs to the throne. I give you Jonas and Talia Chamberlain-Hohenstein, the rightful king and queen of Mendorra!
Antonio: We're too late.
Blair: Okay, everybody, clear out and allow these two young people to talk. Okay?
David: So, this is it, huh?
Addie: All good things come to an end.
David: And that's the biggest bunch of malarkey I ever heard.
David: Try the other door. There you go. Guess it's just you and me, D.V. It's a cold world out there. I hope you're up to it.
Dorian: I really do wish she'd keep that baby.
Addie: So do I.
Dorian: I mean --
Addie: It's Starr's decision.
Dorian: But the baby is going to be a Cramer.
Blair: Dorian -- Mama's right. I know what you mean.
Starr: How's everything?
Cole: Here. It's done. I signed. You win.
Starr: Wait, you're -- you're going to let the McBains adopt?
Cole: I'm giving up my rights.
Starr: Oh, my gosh, Cole --
Cole: No, no, no, no. I'm not just giving up my kid. We're through.
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