One Life to Live Transcript Monday 5/12/08
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Provided By Boo
Proofread by Kathy
Winter: All kinds of good junk up there and all you want is a stuffed frog that's been around since the dawn of time?
Cole: You mean because lesser skee-ballers like you weren't up to the challenge?
Winter: Oh, no, you didnít.
Cole: Oh, yeah, I did.
Winter: Okay, dude. You're crashing. You're done.
Starr: Okay, so how much is this going to cost us?
Cole: Nothing I can't make up in tips tomorrow. Besides, we're not wasting money because our baby is going to need toys to play with, right? And I'm pretty sure a magical frog is mandatory.
Starr: Okay, fork them over.
Winter: No way will you guys get that frog.
Cole: All right, well, when we do, hot dogs are on you.
Winter: Whatever, we'll see.
John: You know, I'm not one to talk, but Starr could do a lot worse than being like you.
Blair: Todd and I got the daughter that we deserved. She's as smart as we are and just as stubborn. She's loyal, willful, giving, selfish. She's doomed to make the same mistakes I did.
John: Quit getting ahead of yourself.
Blair: Come on, John, what do you want? Me to go stick my head out in the sand, there? I been through it. It doesn't turn out well for anybody, okay?
Rex: Snoop doggy-dog! Go, dog --
Bo: Balsom! Bring the volume down a notch. You got neighbors.
Rex: I made a fool of myself tonight, didn't I?
Bo: Aw, no, you were the life of the party. Here, drink this.
Rex: Bo, I love you, man.
Bo: Oh, man, I'm touched. Come on, come over here. Sit down. Just sit down. Good, good, take your shoes off.
Rex: Hey, did I thank you for being my best man?
Bo: Just about 200 times. Fall over there, get some rest.
Rex: Wait, no, stay! Don't go, talk! The room's kind of spinning.
Bo: Okay, you want to talk? I'll tell you what we can talk about. Let's talk about the real reason that you decided to crash Adriana's party.
Addie: Oh, hi!
Addie: Oh, hi!
Adriana: Oh, hi.
Addie: I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you. You staying here tonight?
Adriana: Yeah. Bad luck to see the groom day of the wedding.
Addie: Would you like some ice cream? How was your party?
Adriana: It was great. Until Rex showed up looking for Gigi.
Jared: You know what, maybe we should take our food to go.
Natalie: Yeah. Probably not the smartest idea, making out in a diner booth.
Jared: Yeah, but it felt good, didn't it?
Natalie: We have to stop.
Jared: Admit it, you love the danger.
Natalie: But what I wouldn't love is for Noelle to spot us and then call my mom and say I was making out with my uncle.
Dorian: What did you just say?
Langston: That I'm not pregnant.
Dorian: I believe you said "I'm not the one who's pregnant."
Langston: I don't know what I just said, but the point is that I'm not pregnant, so I don't need her. But thank you.
Dorian: Dr. Morrison, I wonder if you'd give me a moment alone with Langston.
Dr. Morrison: Of course.
Dorian: Thank you. Okay, we're alone.
Dorian: Are you pregnant?
Dorian: Have you ever been pregnant?
Dorian: And yet you allowed Markko to say that you were pregnant, even though he was lying and you could see how upset I was by it.
Langston: I'm sorry.
Dorian: Yes, I imagine you must be. You're a bright girl. I -- what were you thinking? Surely you realized that the truth was going to come out sooner or later, that it was inevitable. Unless you were protecting someone else. Someone that you love very much? It was Starr, wasn't it? Starr is pregnant.
Rex: Aren't you going to make me some coffee?
Bo: You give coffee to a guy as drunk as you, you know what you end up with? A wide-awake drunk guy.
Rex: No kidding! Maybe a beer?
Bo: No, how about you just keep swigging this water?
Rex: Didn't you ask me something?
Bo: Yeah, I asked you why did you show up at Adriana's party?
Rex: That -- that's what you do. You've been married.
Rex: Like, a lot of times. You telling me you never got a load on and showed up at the bride's party?
Bo: Not even once.
Rex: You're kidding.
Bo: No. Why did you do it?
Rex: Do what? Oh, show up at the party. Roxy -- that's my mom.
Bo: I know.
Rex: Roxy said that there were going to be male strippers at -- at -- at Adriana's party. And I felt a duty to be there. A responsibilities.
Rex: You know, because Adriana might have one too many cosmos and do something she'd regret.
Bo: You know, Adriana actually seemed to be just fine at the party, and the only male stripper there was you.
Rex: That was unfortunate.
Bo: Yeah, so why did you do it?
Rex: Believe me, I've been asking myself that same question.
Bo: Well, what is the answer?
Rex: Adriana just kept talking! She wanted to know what I was doing there.
Bo: And instead of answering her, you got up on the platform and dropped your pants.
Rex: Bo, I panicked.
Bo: What, a tough guy like you panicked just because his girlfriend asked him a question?
Rex: You think I'm a tough guy? I love you, man!
Bo: I know, I know -- we've covered that. Look, why -- listen to me -- why did it bother you just because Adriana asked you why you were there?
Rex: Well, she didn't just ask me why I was there. She asked me who I was looking for. Did I leave that part out?
Bo: Yeah, yeah, you did.
Rex: So, you know, at this time, I had had a certain number of cocktails by then.
Rex: And I remember asking myself -- do I take off all my clothes off? Or do I tell Adriana that I was there looking for Gigi? [Whispering] I think I got away with it.
Gigi: What's wrong?
Shane: You're never going to believe what I found.
Gigi: What is it?
Shane: You get three guesses.
Gigi: My hairdryer.
Shane: Strike one.
Gigi: My diamond tiara.
Shane: You're not even trying.
Gigi: I have no idea! Just tell me, what is it? What did you find?
Addie: You're absolutely sure Rex was looking for this Gigi person?
Adriana: Well, Rex showed up to my party and he was pretty wasted -- drunk.
Addie: I know the lingo, keep going.
Adriana: And he was looking for someone.
Addie: You, he was looking for you.
Adriana: I was standing right in front of him, and he was looking over my shoulder.
Addie: Well, if he was as wasted as you say, then he couldn't focus. I've heard that can happen. I've never been drunk myself, but it's on my list, but way down there. I -- I've had so much thorazine, if -- well, maybe margaritas on a beach in Mexico. I'm sorry, we were talking about you and Rex.
Adriana: Rex. I know him better than any human being on the planet. The man was looking for his old girlfriend.
Addie: This Gigi, she's his old girlfriend?
Adriana: They went together in high school, back in Michigan.
Addie: Oh, I hate her already.
Adriana: Thank you. Me, too. And you know the thing I hate most about her? She turned me into a total bitch.
Natalie: Do you know what you want? From the menu.
Jared: Right. Where is that waitress? Excuse me, can you take our order for us?
David: Yo no talko ingles.
Natalie: Oh, uh, esta bien. Um -- estamos listos ahora para ordenar.
David: Ay, que horrible!
Noelle: What on earth did you do --
David: [Whispering] They can't know I'm here.
Natalie: Noelle? Is everything okay down there?
Noelle: What --
David: [Whispering] You will listen to me. I know what goes into those pies of yours, and if you want me to not tell Moe your little secret, you'd better not tell Natalie and her friendly uncle that I'm here --
Noelle: You! [Whispering] Get your filthy paws off me! Don't touch me ever again!
Noelle: [Whispering] Or I will tell Moe what kind of operation you have been running out of the walk-in after hours.
David: You wouldnít.
David: [Whispering] All right! Please, don't tell them I'm here. I'll do your side work for a month.
Jared: Noelle, do you need help?
Noelle: Clean up this mess!
Natalie: Who was that?
Nash: How was the bachelorette party?
Jessica: It was quite a night.
Nash: You know, I was just reading her a little bedtime story. She was fascinated by it.
Jessica: I don't know, a foodie magazine? Since when, huh?
Nash: Okay, maybe she was more into the wrinkly paper, but there was this little article on page 72 that she was really into. I underlined it for you.
Jessica: [Whispering] Let's see, okay? "There's a little petite syrah in Nash Brennan's '05 Llanview zinfandel." Oh, my God!
Nash: Yup, yup, keep going.
Jessica: "Don't be put off by it's Pennsylvania origins, the wine is seriously good with an exuberant fruit backed by creamy depth of oak aging." Your daddy is a genius. You did it!
Langston: I've made a mess of things. I swore that I'd never tell anyone she was pregnant.
Dorian: You didn't tell me, I found out.
Langston: Because I was so stupid.
Dorian: No, you weren't! I looked into your backpack. I found the pregnancy book which you were hiding for Starr, weren't you?
Langston: And then Markko was just trying to help.
Dorian: By telling me that you were pregnant?
Langston: Well, I didn't have any other good ideas why I would have the book?
Dorian: Well, duh! What was his long range plan, that you'd keep sticking pillows inside your shirts?
Langston: I don't know. I would have said that it was a false alarm, that I got my period, but then you made this appointment, and --
Dorian: Well, based on the information that I had at that time I felt it was our only option.
Langston: I'm really sorry. And I'll tell Dr. Morrison that I'm sorry.
Dorian: Yes, you will.
Langston: And I'm sorry that I upset you.
Dorian: I'm just glad that you're all right. And as for Starr -- whew. Am I safe to assume that this baby is Cole's and that's why they went away together?
Langston: Mr. Manning wouldn't let them see each other. And they figured that if he found out he would kill Cole.
Dorian: Yes. They were probably right. But why -- why didn't they tell me? That's right. I wasn't around.
Langston: Starr went to go get an abortion, and Cole found out, and he said that he didn't want her to make any decisions until they had time to think things through.
Dorian: And that's why they went away.
Langston: Right, to figure everything out.
Dorian: They are not thinking about keeping the baby, are they? I mean, she's not even out of high school.
Langston: I don't know.
Dorian: Where are they now?
Langston: I don't know that either. I mean, Cole didn't want us to get in trouble, and he knew that Mr. Manning would come after us, and he did. I mean, he nearly killed Markko today. He's crazy!
Dorian: Yes, he can be when it suits him.
Langston: But the good thing is that he has no idea where Starr and Cole are right now.
Starr: Tickets! Whoo! Whoo! Yeah! Oh!
Male vocalist: 'Cause I've never felt like this before, I'm so confused, I just don't know anymore, I've never felt like this before, I got both feet on the ground, but I can't feel them anymore, out of the corner of my eye I see you smiling, and I can't decide if I should run or pull you in again, because I've never felt like this before, I'm so confused, I just don't know anymore, I've never felt like this before, I've got both feet on the ground, but I can't feel them anymore
Addie: I've known you since Dorian brought you into our lives and you've never been a -- a bitch.
Adriana: You haven't seen me in action. It was either Gigi or the bangs.
Adriana: Ever since I cut my hair, I've been acting more and more like my mother. I could start a new fad -- bitchy bangs.
Addie: You're getting married tomorrow. That's a big step. Isn't that supposed to turn every woman into Bridezilla?
Adriana: [Laughs] Where do you get this stuff?
Addie: TV. Ahem. I wish you didn't look so sad.
Adriana: Why was Rex looking for her? Why wasn't he looking for me?
Rex: Oh, yeah, now I feel better.
Bo: All right. It's the night before your wedding, and you're looking for Gigi?
Rex: Did I say that?
Bo: Yeah, sort of.
Rex: What could I possibly have to talk about to Gigi Morasco about? Oh, I know -- kissing her the other day.
Bo: What, you kissed her?
Rex: At B.E. Gi-Gi and B-E! Get it?
Bo: Why were you kissing another woman?
Rex: No, I tried to kiss her. There's a subtle difference. Our lips never touched.
Bo: All right, yeah, what happened?
Rex: Her slapping me away and calling me a creep could have been what stopped it.
Bo: Yeah, but if she hadn't done that, you'd have gone ahead and kissed her?
Rex: I can't do something like that. I'm getting married tomorrow. I love Adriana.
Bo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you do.
Rex: But --
Rex: I can see your butt from here. Just like everyone almost saw my butt at U.V. which sounds like B.E. which rhymes with --
Bo: Enough, Balsom. Balsom, knock -- hey, listen to me, right now! Pull yourself together.
Rex: Maybe I should lie down.
Bo: Why, the room stop spinning?
Rex: No. Bo, this may come as a surprise to you, but I am very drunk. I might say something I'd regret.
Bo: Or you might just say something and feel better just getting it off your chest.
Gigi: Simmer down, cowboy. Use your words.
Shane: I found this somewhere in the boxes upstairs.
Gigi: "On the Road"? That's pretty far above your reading level.
Shane: I didn't read the thing, there's no pictures in it. But this fell out of it. That's him, isn't it?
Gigi: That's Brody Lovett.
Shane: My dad.
Gigi: Your dad.
Shane: I can't believe it, finally! Finally I have a picture of him!
Gigi: Brody gave me this book on our last date fore he shipped out. I don't even remember putting a picture in it.
Shane: Do you think I look like my dad?
Dorian: I told Dr. Morrison we wouldn't be needing her services and that she would be getting a note from you. Not an email, a note.
Dorian: You needn't go into details. Just apologize.
Langston: I get it. And I'm -- I'm really sorry.
Dorian: You should be sorry. You lied to me!
Langston: And I ratted out my best friend, and I helped her run away, I know.
Dorian: On the other hand, may I say that I have never been prouder of you in my life.
Noelle: Oh, him? Well, that's just our dishwasher. Don't you pay him no mind. He's different. And a little slow. I'll take your order.
Jared: I'm going to have the chicken and shitake stir-fry.
Natalie: I think I want the fried flounder and the mango salad, to go.
Noelle: Coming right up.
Moe: What in Sam hill are you doing on the floor with all the silverware?
David: Noelle's a mess, boss. She completely lost it. I think it's something that you said earlier. I was just trying to help out. Don't say anything to her, though. She's mortified.
Jared: Maybe we can take a little detour on the way to the way to the airport.
Natalie: Yeah, I guess we could stop off at the ranch, find us a spot where no one else is, just you and me.
Jared: A little Buchanan on Buchanan action?
David: Oh, Viki. This is going to be at least five new personalities for you.
Natalie: So, Jessica and I got drunk once.
David: No wonder I had to give her a new liver.
Natalie: So, she told me that, apparently, our Aunt Tina -- you know, Sarahís mother -- slept with David Vickers when she thought that it was her brother.
David: What? I never -- that's ridiculous. Well, maybe a few times, but at a least I always knew I wasn't a Lord.
Natalie: Glad that's not us, right?
Jared: Yeah, at least we both know that I'm not a Buchanan.
Natalie: I think the first thing that we need to do when we get back is find a place that we can be together.
Jared: You really don't want to tell the family the truth?
Natalie: We canít. Not right away. But if I can't be with you, I will go nuts, and I will do something completely crazy. But we just -- we can't let them know, not until we're ready.
David: You blew that.
Jared: And we need to figure out how we're going to break the news.
Natalie: I know, and I just -- I keep picturing it. All I can see is pitchforks and torches.
Jared: That is why we need to plan it out to the last detail. How it comes out and what are we going to say when they ask who the real missing Buchanan is.
Jessica: You know, I really can't believe that you got this kind of mention in such a major magazine.
Nash: Yup! Well, Malcolmís the one who made it possible.
Jessica: Have you told Sarah about this yet?
Nash: No, I -- ah, I'll tell her tomorrow.
Jessica: Well, she had quite a night tonight, too.
Nash: Really? At a bachelorette party? Do I want to know why?
Jessica: It wasn't just any bachelorette party.
Jessica: First, Rex showed up and started stripping.
Nash: Oh, you're kidding me.
Jessica: Yeah, and just about when he was going to start to show us his little --
Jessica: Yeah. Yeah -- Snoop Dogg and his band started to play.
Nash: No, no -- you mean someone dressed like Snoop, some kind of a Snoop Dogg impersonator.
Jessica: No, no, no, I donít. No, I donít. I mean the real deal. They played an entire set and everyone was blown away and Sarah made it happen.
Nash: You're kidding me?
Nash: That's amazing. I mean, I knew Sarah was good, but Snoop Dogg? That's -- that's fantastic.
Jessica: I know! She had a really great time. It was kind of amazing, you know, I was looking at her tonight, and I thought, no wonder Nash likes her so much. I always thought that she was kind of a spoiled kid, and she's not, you know? She's filled with energy and passion. She's great.
Nash: You know that Sarah and I, it's just a business relationship, right?
Jessica: Of course, yeah.
Jessica: You know, but sheís a good time. And you know, I haven't really been a good time, lately.
Nash: No, that's not true.
Jessica: It is true. But that's all about to change tonight.
Nash: Why, what's going to happen tonight?
Jessica: You and me.
Jessica: That's what's going to happen.
Gigi: Let's see, do you look like your dad? Cuter, definitely cuter.
Shane: I'm not cute.
Shane: [Sighs] Why did Dad give you this book, anyway?
Gigi: It was his favorite. He even had a special name for it.
Gigi: It's about a guy who goes out and explores the whole country and figures out his life at the same time.
Shane: And that's what he did?
Gigi: Yup. Couldn't stand to sit still, like someone else I know. He was always looking for the next adventure.
Shane: Maybe I'll become a soldier, like him.
Gigi: You know what, Shane, I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Brody. There are plenty of ways to see this world without maybe getting yourself killed, okay? I wish he had listened to me.
Langston: You're proud of me?
Dorian: Not for lying, I really hate that part, but you didn't feel you had any other choice. You were trying to protect Starr. Todd is a very big problem, but we're going to deal with him later. We are going to have to think of some way that we can help Starr.
Langston: Well, I mean, I think she's okay. She's with Cole. And when I talked to her, she sounded better than I thought --
Dorian: Wait! What -- what -- I beg your pardon? You talked to her?
Langston: Okay, Cole gave Markko this pre-paid phone so that they could get in touch with each other. We just talked for a few minutes, but they didn't tell us where they were, just that they were okay.
Dorian: I see. The next time that they call --
Langston: Oh, they won't be. Mr. Manning took the phone.
Dorian: Oh, no.
Langston: Yeah. I mean, Starr talked to him, and Mr. Manning was actually pretty good. He even promised to let them see each other, but --
Langston: I think Starr knew that he wouldn't stick to it, especially if he found out that she was pregnant. So, she basically told him good-bye.
Dorian: Todd is never going to accept that.
Langston: Yeah, I know.
Dorian: And when he finds them, and he will --
Langston: Wait -- hold on, hold on, who are you calling?
Dorian: I'm calling Blair.
Langston: No, no, no, no, no!
Dorian: I have to!
Langston: You can't -- no!
Dorian: I have to tell Blair that her daughter is pregnant! She's got to protect Starr from Todd!
Man: Here you go, son.
John: I'm tired.
Blair: Well, I'm going to keep looking for my daughter, anyway.
John: We will, tomorrow.
John: We've got a lot of ground to cover. Let's call it a night.
John: Tomorrow we hit the ground running, all right? All right.
Man: Sir! Miss, I'm sorry about before. It's just that I see so many people that faces don't register. But at you should do is talk to the kids that work around here, like maybe this kid over here.
Natalie: No one's going to be thinking about who the real Buchanan heir is when they have the fake one sitting right in front of them ready to drop into a vat of boiling oil.
Jared: I hope that's an exaggeration.
Natalie: Don't kid yourself, honey. My family takes their name very seriously, and it's not because they're worth millions. It won't be about the money. It'll be the fact that you took advantage of them when they were grieving for Grandpa.
Jared: I did, didn't I?
Noelle: Here you go.
Natalie: Thank you. Moe!
Moe: Sorry I didn't come out sooner. I couldn't abandon my risotto.
Natalie: Oh, I understand. This man makes the best food in the world.
Moe: Aw, shucks.
Natalie: Listen, like I told Noelle earlier, my mom sends her love, and she misses you guys like crazy.
Moe: Give your mom a big squeeze from her old boss.
Jared: Well, it was an absolute pleasure to meet both of you.
Moe: Right back at you, Jared.
Noelle: Please give our love to Viki and Charlie and Gigi and the little guy, okay?
Natalie: We sure will. All right. Bye. Mo bye-bye.
Jared: Thank you.
Noelle: They're gone. You can get up, now.
David: That was close. You're a lifesaver.
Moe: And you're on the clock, buster, so get back in that kitchen. There's a chili pot needs scrubbing.
David: Soak it! I quit!
Dorian: Give me the phone! Thank you very much! She's not answering. Blair, this is Dorian. It's urgent. Please call me as soon as you get this message. Okay. Now we better talk about you and Markko. I hope that Starr's situation has made an impact on you and that you are now thinking about your relationship with Markko.
Langston: Okay, believe me, I get it.
Dorian: Right. So, uh -- do I need to have a talk with Markko?
Langston: No, no, no, no, no! That's not necessary! Trust me, we're not and we haven't, you know.
Dorian: I'm so proud of you. You are such a brilliant, beautiful, special girl. And I want you to have the future that you deserve.
Langston: Thanks. Me, too.
Shane: Once I turn 18, you can't boss me around.
Gigi: Oh, yeah, want to bet? Sucker. Now, get your butt to bed.
Shane: Can I keep the picture?
Gigi: I'll have it framed, and we'll put it on your nightstand.
Gigi: Cool. Oh, Shane, heads up. You should flip through it some time. Brody liked to write little notes in his books.
Shane: He wrote in books?
Gigi: Ones that he owned, not from the library. Maybe we'll go through it together.
Shane: That sounds good. Night, Mom.
Gigi: Night, honey. I love you.
Shane: Love you, too.
Gigi: Don't forget your inhaler.
Shane: I wonít.
Addie: You and Rex love each other, and you're getting married tomorrow. Don't make trouble that isn't there.
Adriana: Rex and I, we just get each other. Or we did. That's something my mother will never understand. You know, before, there was always this lonely part of me. It was always there, my whole life. And then I fell in love with Rex, and it went away. Until Gigi came to Llanview.
Addie: And tomorrow the two of you are going to vow to be together for the rest of your lives. And when you walk down that aisle, looking so beautiful, you'll look into Rex's eyes, and you'll see that he wants that just as much as you do.
Adriana: Thank you.
Addie: And I want you to remember every minute of tomorrow, and I want you to tell me all about it.
Adriana: You're not going to be there?
Addie: Are you kidding? Blair would kill me. She hates your guts. Oh, everything's going to be fine.
Adriana: I hope so.
Rex: What am I supposed to do?
Bo: Whatever it takes not to live with any regrets.
Rex: Sure, that's easy. I think I'm going to pass out.
Bo: Here, go ahead -- here, do you need this?
Rex: I don't know why -- I don't know what I need.
Bo: Okay. Okay, you just get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow.
Rex: You know.
Rex: Oh, noisy.
Bo: Good night, buddy.
Moe: You can't quit. You still owe me -- uh --
David: Whatever it is, Moe, you can put it on my tab. I'm good for it. I'm good for it with interest.
Noelle: Just like that? You're just going to up and leave?
David: Noelle, Llanview calls, and that train waits for no man.
Noelle: But what about your lucky lotto ticket?
David: It's all yours. Take it. Who needs a lucky ticket when you got a meal ticket, huh? [Chuckles] So long, suckers!
Nash: Mmm, you taste like coconut.
Jessica: Mmm, well, I had three virgin coladas tonight --
Jessica: And you're looking pretty good, Mr. Brennan.
Nash: You're looking pretty good yourself, Mrs. Brennan.
Jessica: Am I?
Nash: In fact, I like that outfit.
Jessica: You do?
Nash: I sure do.
Jessica: Well, I thought that it might look better on the floor.
Nash: Well, I like the way you think.
Jessica: You do, huh?
Nash: I do. Uh-oh.
Jessica: What do you think I'm thinking?
Nash: I -- mmm.
Brody: Just do it.
Dorian: I realize that I've come a bit late into your life, but I hope that I've managed to keep you a little girl for just a while longer.
Langston: I haven't been a little girl for a very long time.
Blair: Hi. Um, excuse us. Wanted to know if you've seen these two people?
>> On the next "One Life to Live" --
Shane: You saw my dad?
Rex: I bumped into him, like, an hour ago.
Layla: Where is Brody? Isn't he supposed to be rising from the dead?
Markko: Dorian knows that Starr is pregnant.
Todd: I won't hesitate to beat the crap out of you if you don't tell me where they are.
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