OLTL Transcript Monday 10/29/07

One Life to Live Transcript Monday 10/29/07

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Proofread by Brandi

Jared: No. Four can play this game.

Jared: Whew! Ahem. You are so sweet, I'm hungry for dessert.

Renee: Ahem.

Natalie: Hi, Renee.

Renee: I'm glad to see you two reconnecting, and I like appetizers. But if you're going for the main course, you better get a room.

Charlie: Ah, that was delicious, and thank you for the tip on the motel.

Viki: Oh, no problem. I'll be right back with your change.

Charlie: Oh, no, no, no, no. The change is for you.

Viki: Oh -- hey, thatís way more than 15%.

Charlie: All the rest is for the friendly conversation.

Viki: Oh. Well, thatís really nice. Thank you. Hmm.

Gigi: That man likes you. Are you going to let him just walk out of here?

Adriana: Hi, Blair.

Rex: You singing tonight?

Blair: Why?

Rex: No reason, just thought I'd ask.

Adriana: Any word about Tommy?

Blair: His name is not "Tommy." And even if I did know something, I certainly wouldnít tell you.

Marcie: Look, man. This place where we are right now -- itís not exactly the kind of place Mommy would ordinarily take you to, right? But the thing is that these people -- they are really nice people. They are, just like Harvey, right? Heís great, and heís a very good friend of Uncle Eric and Uncle James, and do you want to know what heís going to do? Do you want to know? Heís going to hide us.

Lee: Well, have you seen this woman?

Bartender: Uh -- hard to say. After all, tonightís Halloween. No oneís who they appear to be -- not even you, Colonel.

Lee: Agent. Maybe we'll have a little look around.

Todd: So you're positive that Warren said sheís headed for Decatur?

John: Thatís where the Feds are heading, so we're assuming.

Todd: Yeah. At this rate, by the time we get there, she'll be gone.

John: Who do you think you're calling?

Todd: My people, see if they have a contact --

John: No, you're not.

Viki: And just how would you suggest that I keep him here -- stun gun or restraints?

Gigi: Oh, come on, Viki. You have a little experience, Iím sure. You must have a bag of tricks.

Viki: "A bag of tricks"? Honey -- honey? I'm an adult, ok, I'm an older adult. I canít pass him a note in study hall.

Gigi: Do you always wrap yourself in sisterhood when you're scared?

Viki: Scared?

Gigi: Scared. Look, if you at least go into the store. I'm not saying pick out curtains with the guy. I'm saying heat up his coffee, talk about the cowboys.

Viki: But I donít even know this man.

Gigi: And itís going to stay like that if you donít -- all right, all right, I'll back off.

Viki: Thank you.

Gigi: Only if you answer one question for me, though. Honestly, a simple question.

Viki: Nothing is simple with you.

Gigi: Did you notice his eyes?

Viki: No.

Gigi: I said "honest answer."

Viki: Blue, really blue.

Gigi: Hmm. So you noticed that, huh? Did you also notice that heís really good-looking, and heís the perfect age, and what else do you need to know?

Viki: They could be contacts.

Gigi: Oh, Viki, I -- I donít get you.

Viki: Why are you pushing me to Charlie? I mean, handsome guys come in here all the time, I donít see you making any overtures.

Gigi: Thatís because of Shane.

Viki: Shane? I always assumed you had a boyfriend.

Gigi: Oh, no, no, not me.

Viki: Why not?

Gigi: Because -- when I realized I would be raising Shane alone, I made a promise to him. I told him he'd always be first with me, and I just donít want to put him through having a new uncle every three months.

Viki: Even if you could find happiness for yourself?

Gigi: I -- I'm ok, I'm fine. But if Shane were all grown up, and a man like Charlie came along -- honey, I wouldnít be standing here talking to you.

Natalie: Uh, no, Cris and I -- we're -- we're not reconnecting.

Renee: You could've fooled me.

Cristian: No, sheís right, Renee, we're just friends.

Renee: Ah, "just friends"? Well, whatever you want to call it, please donít do it in my restaurant, ok?

Natalie: They started it.

Renee: Started what?

Natalie: You didnít see him when you were walking in? He -- he was practically removing her tonsils with his tongue.

Renee: Natalie, Jared is a gentleman. I donít think that he would act like that, especially in my restaurant.

Harvey: [Feminine voice] Oh, hi there, boys! So glad y'all came in costume -- I just "love" a man in black. Now, tell me, are you supposed to be Mr. Jones or Mr. Smith?

Lee: Ma'am --

[Harvey gasps]

Harvey: And polite. I just may have to keep you -- forever. Have a seat. Showís just about to start, and I can tell that you boys definitely need cocktails. Isnít that right?

Man: Hi, I'm Clarence, a friend of Harveyís. But donít say anything, donít look around. Just pick up your boy and come with me.

Lee: Please keep your hands off me, ma'am.

Harvey: Oh, come on, baby, donít be shy. Give us a little sugar.

Lee: We're federal agents.

Harvey: Oh! Tie me up, tie me down!

Lee: Have you seen this woman?

Harvey: This your wife? Because I know I could make you forget all about her.

Adriana: Just because we sympathize with Michael and Marcie --

Blair: "Sympathize"? I think it was more than that. You dug up as much nasty dirt as you could possibly find on Todd and you fed it to Michael and Marcieís attorney.

Adriana: And the court still ruled in Toddís favor. Canít we get past this?

Blair: She ran off with Toddís son -- he may never see him again.

Adriana: Thatís not Rexís fault.

Blair: Really? If Marcieís so-called friends had just told her that it was her responsibility to hand over the baby to the father, I think thereís a pretty good chance she might not have run away. What do you think?

Rex: Nobody could've predicted what she'd do.

Adriana: Rex thinks of Tommy as his godson. Canít you understand that, Blair?

Rex: You and Todd just expected Marcie to turn on a dime and hand over the only child she'll ever have?

Blair: Marcie had her day in court, Rex, and she lost. I think thereís a big possibility she knew something was going to happen -- and that was after Todd offered to share custody with her, and she turned him down flat. Now, she didnít get the decision that she wanted. She steals Toddís son and runs off with him?

Adriana: I know that it is hard to not know where they are.

Blair: Oh, like you really care whatís hard for me and Todd. You know, Adriana, we're flesh and we're blood, and you sided with the enemy.

Adriana: Blair, it is not that simple, and you know it.

Blair: Really?

Adriana: The McBains are good people, and their lives have been ruined -- Marcieís on the run, Michaelís been arrested.

Blair: He -- when was Michael arrested?

Rex: This morning.

Adriana: They charged him with perjury.

Blair: So you're saying Michael is here in -- in Llanview?

Adriana: Yeah, as far as I know. I mean, I know he made bail, but he could be anywhere. Why? Whatís wrong with that?

Todd: May I have my phone back, please, John?

John: Why, so you can blow the one lead that we got?

Todd: I'm not going to blow anything.

John: I told you when we nearly got locked up back there that I was calling the shots.

Todd: Oh, yeah, and here we are, just crawling down the highway.

John: We're making good time.

Todd: Listen, the Feds are headed for Decatur. Whatís the harm in finding out if they're there yet?

John: Because when your guys show up, Ramseyís going to know we have a pipeline into his organization -- Warren could lose his job.

Todd: I donít give a ratís ass about Warren.

John: We lose Warren, we lose our source. Hey -- you try that again, I swear I'm going to push you out of this car.

Todd: Would you just give me my phone?

John: You want the phone? I mean, do you really want it?

Todd: Yes.

John: Next time, itís going out the window -- then I shoot you.

Gigi: Thatís the third call you've gotten in a row. Donít you wonder whatís going on?

Viki: No. I put my curiosity about men on the shelf.

Gigi: Why?

Viki: I had a husband who died, uh, very young -- way too soon, just like yours.

Gigi: Oh, Viki, I'm so sorry.

Viki: Yeah. And so after that, I took my heart and I put it in bubble wrap for a while, sort of give it a rest, you know, for a lot of reasons.

Gigi: There hasnít been anybody?

Viki: Well, I made one sort of attempt, but that didnít end very well.

Gigi: What would it take to get you back up on the horse?

Viki: The right man, I guess.

Gigi: Oh. And who is he?

Viki: Um -- I donít know. I mean, he'd have to be somebody who had his own life, and -- and who would be perfectly comfortable with me having my own life. I'm not about to get involved with somebody who would expect me to ask permission. And it would have to be somebody who loved children and had a sense of humor. It wouldnít hurt if he had a great laugh.

[Charlie laughs]

Charlie: Yeah.

Gigi: Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

Rex: I'm sorry she went off on you like that.

Adriana: She probably thinks I deserve it.

Rex: Well, you didnít.

Adriana: Her loyalty to Todd is a little hard to take.

Rex: Well, itís not like their -- their marriage is for real. I still think Tommy would be better off with Michael and Marcie.

Adriana: Did you know that Todd agreed to share custody?

Rex: Michael said that he offered it right before the judge made his decision, so I'm sure it was probably just panic mode. Even if Marcie would've taken it, who knows how long it would've lasted -- or if it would've been good for Tommy.

Adriana: Still, I can understand why Blair is so angry.

Rex: Babe, what you're feeling right now, all this guilt -- you know as well as I do itís not, because we got caught between family and friends. Itís because we knew Tommy was Toddís, and we didnít tell anybody.

Adriana: Itís not guilt, Rex. I'm scared. Michael was arrested for lying about Tommy.

Rex: Yeah, on the witness stand. We didnít do that. Now, nobody except John, Michael, and Marcie knows what I know. So, when Tommyís finally home, she'll get over this.

Adriana: Not unless she finds out the truth, and then she'll kill us.

Rex: She'll be mad --

Adriana: No. She'll kill us.

Blair: Todd, I told you to call me. Yeah, and you actually could've mentioned that Michael was stuck here in Llanview. God only knows what you and John are doing to each other. Now, listen, I'm going to call you back, and, please, do not put me back to voicemail.

Todd: You give it your best shot, you out-of-work flatfoot. Jeez, I thought they taught cops how to drive. [Mocking John] Yeah, this is John McBain. I'm in a high-speed pursuit down the highway.

John: You're now officially annoying me.

[Todd sighs]

Todd: [Normal voice] Wow, some road trip this is. I'm hungry. You have no decent food, no satellite radio. You're not very good conversation -- you wonít talk to me.

John: Oh, I got something I want to say.

Todd: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

John: You know what your problem is? You're not bright. You know, you canít see past --

[Phone rings]

John: Donít answer that.

Todd: No, itís just Blair.

John: Donít say anything.

Blair: Todd?

Todd: Yep?

Blair: Why didnít you answer before?

Todd: I was in the middle of something.

Blair: Are you ok? I heard about Michael being arrested.

Todd: Oh, yes, I know about that, too. It turns out perjury is illegal.

Blair: So you're alone with John, huh? Howís that going?

Todd: Oh, itís peachy. You know, we're bonding -- he threatened to shoot me.

Blair: Well, maybe you deserve it.

Todd: Oh, no, I didnít do anything, I just --

John: Hey, Blair, how you doing? You want to know what he did? I'll tell you.

Charlie: Viki, I thought you said this motel was right across the street.

Viki: Yeah, it is -- oh, you canít see it from here, I'll show you where it is. Hey, Noelle. Hi, Shane.

Noelle: Hi, Viki. Gigi, I went over to your place to borrow some brown sugar, so I could make my gooey butter bars, and look what I found.

Gigi: Shane Morasco. Have you been fighting? When I get you home, I'm going to wear you out!

Shane: Itís no big deal.

Gigi: It is a big deal. You tell me who gave you that eye, and I'll give them a taste of their own medicine.

Natalie: I canít believe that you think Jared Banks is a gentleman.

Cristian: Itís not going to happen again, I promise. No more tonsil hockey in the dining room.

Natalie: That has to go for them, too.

Renee: I'll speak to them. Hey, that looks good. Itís delicious.

Jared: Sarah told me the food was good here, and she was right. This is a wonderful restaurant, Mrs. Buchanan.

Renee: Well, I'm glad that you're enjoying your evening, and I'm sorry if there have been any -- disturbances.

Jared: Disturbances? Hmm.

Renee: Um -- Natalie and Cristian thought there was something that they were concerned about with you and Sarah.

Jared: They're just jealous.

Renee: "Jealous"?

Jared: Well, we got the last piece of tiramisu.

Renee: Ah. Natalie seemed to think it was a little more involved than that.

Jared: I canít imagine what would be bothering her.

Renee: Well, Natalie sometimes makes mistakes, but she can be very charming once you get to know her.

Jared: Yes, I'm sure thatís true of all the Buchanans. But you, Mrs. Buchanan, you are my favorite.

Renee: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Donít you hear that, Sarah. He couldnít wait to see you tonight.

Sarah: Thatís good to know.

Renee: Asa was particularly fond of Sarah.

Jared: I donít doubt it.

Renee: Oh, I almost forgot -- you left, and I didnít give you keys to the mansion.

Jared: Ah. Well, thank you. Do I have a curfew?

Renee: Itís up to you. Itís going to be a lot of fun having you around. Enjoy your evening.

Jared: We will.

Sarah: Thanks. So, we're already on to dessert, and in all this time, you didnít mention you moved into my great-grandfatherís mansion.

Jared: I --

Natalie: What'd he say?

Renee: Not a lot. Uh -- I'd like a word with you.

Natalie: Who, me?

Renee: Now. I'm very fond of Jared Banks --

Natalie: Yeah, I know --

Renee: No, no, no, let me finish. And I know that heís ambitious, but heís also very charming and very, very bright, and I think that he would be a great asset at Buchanan Enterprises. So I would like you to consider rehiring him -- if not for me, do it for Asa in his memory.

Blair: John, I'm sure Todd was just trying to help.

John: What heís trying is my patience. You tell this jackass that you married that I have as much at stake as he does? Here.

Blair: Look, John, I know heís --

Todd: Heís what?

Blair: Todd?

Todd: Yes, Blair, please continue. I'd like to hear your half of the conversation.

Blair: I -- I just asked him how to make it a little easier for both of you.

Todd: Well, thatís sweet, but I'm not here to lighten his load. He kept me from my son when I first found out -- and you helped him. You gave him a reason to lock me up. If you hadnít done that, none of this would've happened.

Blair: Well, it did, and here we are, so is there any way that we can make any of this easier?

Todd: Now, let me think. I donít know, I guess I could wrestle him for his gun and shoot him and then take his car.

Blair: How about this -- at the next town you pass by, you and John say your goodbyes, you rent a car, and you call your own PIs, ok?

Todd: And let him get to his sister-in-law before I do? No, I donít think so -- he'll let her go.

John: My only concern is we all get out of this in one piece.

Todd: And my concern that your sister-in-law rots in hell.

John: You know, Manning, this is a pretty deserted stretch of road. I leave you out here, they'll never find you.

Marcie: Clarence, come on! There has to be a back door, a -- a fire escape -- something?

Clarence: Child, this is the FBI -- they have agents back, front, and center. You go out of this building, and they will grab you.

Marcie: No, I cannot stay here, Clarence, I canít.

Clarence: Donít you worry, Harvey will never give you up.

Marcie: Yeah? Well, where is he, because I donít see him out there.

Harvey: [Feminine voice] Now, tell me, who is this creature? No, no, no, no, let me guess -- sheís a spy!

Clarence: You see that gorgeous thing out there talking to the man in black?

Marcie: No way!

Clarence: The boy really cleans up.

Marcie: Oh, my --

Clarence: Ainít he something? Shh-shh!

Harvey: Sheís a spy, isnít she?

Lee: Never mind who she is. Have you ever seen her?

Harvey: Oh, forget about her, baby. I'm all the woman you'll ever need. Oh, Zorro?

Bartender: Yes, ma'am, right here.

Harvey: Get these boys a drink -- on me.

Lee: Ma'am, we're on duty.

Harvey: So why donít you go home, change into something a little more comfortable, and pick me up after the show.

Lee: Do you know a man named Harvey DeWitt?

Harvey: Oh, yes, honey, 'deed I do -- intimately.

Gigi: Noelle, could you please cover my station so Shane and I can talk?

Noelle: Oh, sure, honey.

Gigi: What happened?

Shane: Everybody was talking about what they were going to be for Halloween.

Gigi: Yeah?

Shane: Tyler Wilcox -- he said --

Gigi: Go on.

Shane: He said I should go as -- as a little bastard. I told him to shut his mouth, but then he and his friends ganged up on me.

Gigi: First of all, what he said is "not" what you are.

Shane: He said itís because I donít have a dad.

Gigi: Your daddyís dead.

Shane: I said that --

Gigi: And he was one of the finest men who ever drew breath. Did you -- did you tell Tyler that your daddy was a Navy Seal who could beat the daylights out of Tyler Wilcoxís daddy any day of the week, and that he died before you were born, because he was on a top-secret mission for the government?

Shane: I didnít have time.

Gigi: He was a hero, Shane, and you are a heroís son. And if Tyler Wilcox says anything to you ever again, I will drive over to his house and grab his mama by the hair of her head, and teach her and her boy some manners.

Marcie: You think heís going to be sleeping in basket?

Clarence: Nothing softer than a bed of beat-up button-downs. And nothing cuter than a little boy fast asleep.

Marcie: You think Harveyís going to be able to get rid of the FBI?

Clarence: If anybody can drive away a man with a job, itís Harvey.

Marcie: That may be true. But we need a plan B, Clarence.

Lee: What is your relationship to Mr. Harvey DeWitt?

Harvey: [Feminine voice] Personal, very personal. [Normal voice] Itís me -- or, rather, I'm him. [Feminine voice] Until showtime, of course.

Lee: Ah, so -- you're an actor.

Harvey: I'm a personality, an entertainer.

Lee: Have you ever seen this woman?

Harvey: No.

Lee: Really?

Harvey: Wouldnít know her if I sat on her.

Lee: Maybe you can explain why her brother Eric Walsh called you twice just the other day.

Blair: Todd, listen, you're scaring me. What is going on?

Todd: Oh, nothing. Johnís just trying to impress me with how slow he can drive.

Blair: Where are you now?

Todd: Uh -- just outside Atlanta, I think. He got a tip that Marcieís in Decatur --

John: Oh, whatís wrong with you? No oneís supposed to know that.

Todd: Oh, itís only Blair.

Blair: "Only Blair"?

Todd: Thatís not what I meant.

John: Next time, I'm bringing a muzzle.

Todd: "Next time"?

John: Yeah.

Todd: Or are we going to make this an annual event? If we do, I'd like to get an air freshener -- you smell like a wet dog. John smells like a wet dog, Blair.

Blair: This is not helping.

Todd: How are the kids?

Blair: They're scared. Jackís afraid itís going to end up like the last time -- you at the hospital with blood all over you.

Todd: Yeah, well, tell him Dadís fine.

Blair: I did, but he doesnít believe me. And Starr just canít understand why you canít let the FBI handle all this, and she thinks that you're never coming back.

Todd: Uh -- I donít want them upset.

Blair: Well, then come home, Todd, tell John to drop you off at an airport.

Todd: No, I canít do that.

Blair: I know.

Todd: Just tell the kids I love them -- oh, and tell Jack that I took his decoder ring. I'll give it back to him -- and I put it in my shaving kit in the bathroom. You might want to -- you might want to go and find it in case he looks for it.

Blair: Got it.

Todd: And tell Starr to go online and find me a pediatrician in Atlanta.

Blair: You think the kidís sick?

Todd: No, no. Marcieís a decent mother. I donít think she'd let anything happen to the kid, but I think it'll give Starr something to do and make her feel like sheís helping out. Hello? Blair? The lineís dead.

John: Mountains -- you're not going to get a signal for a while.

Blair: Todd?

Rex: Oh, she looks upset. Todd must've said something.

Adriana: Well, they couldnít have found Marcie and Tommy, or she'd look happy.

Rex: She wouldnít really kill us if she found out we've known all along? Seriously? Ok, but sheís not going to find out, so, you know, why even worry about it?

Adriana: Michael was arrested.

Rex: Yeah. And?

Adriana: What if someone asks him if anyone else knew about Tommy, and heís under oath? Whatís he going to do then?

 [Music plays]

Gigi: Here, baby. Put this on that eye. It will help keep the swelling down.

Moe: I thought so -- you're baby-sitting. Whoís taking care of the customers?

Noelle: Viki and I are handling it, Moe.

Viki: Moe -- for heaven sakes, Shaneís been hurt.

Moe: All right. All right!

Charlie: Does that guy ever come out of the kitchen in a good mood?

Gigi: He could have the Texas Rangerettes back there with him, and that still wouldnít happen.

Charlie: Oh. Hey -- can I look? Ooh. You know, I couldnít help overhearing your conversation, and can I give you a little piece of advice? When this -- this Tyler Wilcox guy tries to hit you again, just put your arms in front of your face, you know, just like this, just and block the punch.

Shane: Ok.

Charlie: See? And then while heís trying to hit you, you do your best to kick his legs out from under him. When he goes down, you take off.

Shane: You mean run?

Charlie: Absolutely -- unless you think you can outfight them all.

Shane: Ok, so, put your arms up to block the punches, kick him down by hitting his legs, and then run -- got it.

Charlie: You got it.

Shane: Thanks.

Charlie: Piece of cake.

Viki: Thatís really nice of you to help him out.

Charlie: Well, I canít help myself -- I'm a nice guy.

Singer: To have her once again

Natalie: I know that you're missing Grandpa -- we all are -- but Jared Banks? I mean, yeah, he might be charming -- I've heard -- but what do you really know about him?

Renee: I know that he must be well educated and experienced because you offered him a job.

Natalie: Ok, yeah -- all right, yeah, heís smart, but heís an operator, ok, and I -- I just donít want you to wake up one morning and realize that you've been had.

Renee: Natalie, I am grieving, but I am not a fool!

Natalie: I didnít say that.

Renee: As long as Jared Banks shows me kindness and respect -- which is all he has ever shown me -- I am happy to be his friend, and to have him as a guest in my home.

Natalie: Excuse me?

Renee: Yes. He needed a place to stay, and I gave him a guest room.

Natalie: Heís staying at the mansion?

Cristian: Easy, Natalie.

Natalie: Did he -- die he tell you why he needed a place to stay?

Renee: Yes, he said he was staying with Jessica and Nash and that he didnít want to impose on them any longer.

Natalie: "He didnít want to impose"? He didnít -- he "told" Jessica and Nash that he was moving in with them because he "owned" the place because he bought out Antonioís share of the vineyard.

Renee: I donít see anything wrong with that. That is a good business venture.

Natalie: He was trying to ruin their private lives! Thatís -- I mean, thatís one of the reasons that I fired him. He is trying to worm his way into anything thatís Buchanan.

Renee: He is an admirer of Asaís.

Natalie: He didnít know him!

Cristian: Uh -- what Natalieís trying to say is that we donít trust him. Heís been aggressive and not very nice to Natalie -- and Jessica and Nash.

Renee: What?

Natalie: Yeah, and now heís trying to go after Sarah.

Renee: But Sarah doesnít seem to mind.

Natalie: Thatís because she doesnít know him. And now -- and now heís going to live with you and dad in the mansion?

Renee: I donít think your father and in any grave danger. You obviously have issues with Jared Banks, I donít. As a matter of fact, I feel like Asa brought him to me so that I wouldnít feel so alone. He is a poor young man whoís trying to find his way -- donít kick him when heís down!

Jared: I didnít say anything because I didnít think it was a big deal. But if me moving into the mansion makes you feel uncomfortable, then I will tell Renee to forget it. It wasnít my idea to begin with. She just got it in her head and there was no talking her out of it.

Sarah: No, itís fine, I guess. You -- you could learn a lot, and Renee could probably use the company.

Jared: You're right.

Natalie: I've got to shut him down, like, now.

Cristian: How you going to do that? Coming here was a terrible idea. Now you have Renee mad at you. How do you shut down a one-man band with a very happy crowd?

Rex: Itís not going to go to trial.

Adriana: How do you know that?

Rex: They've got Michael dead to rights. They've got the transcript from the custody hearing when he swore he didnít know, and about half a dozen witnesses when Marcie swore he did. They'll plead it out.

Adriana: Better hope so, because if they get him on that stand --

Rex: Let -- letís cross that bridge if we ever get to it, and focus on the fact that living together is a major success. Now, what do you say we get home, we test out that new shower curtain I know you have stashed in the back of the closet? Adrian you "knew"?

Rex: You're living with a PI now. Just -- just try and keep a secret, I dare you. What do you want to drink?

Adriana: Um, club soda -- stomachís a little funny.

Rex: Yeah, no funnier than that shower curtain.

Adriana: At least itís not see-through.

Rex: We like see-through.

[Adriana giggles]

Blair: Come on, Todd. Would you pick up, please? Just pick up.

Todd: Donít you want to call Marty? You didnít get to finish your kiss goodbye. Now no obligatory phone call. Gee whiz, John. I donít know -- I mean, I'm no Dear Abby. It sounds to me like the honeymoonís over. Of course, maybe you're realizing that Martyís really not your girl, and you're secretly thankful to be on this road trip with me because you needed the time away from her, John. Want to talk about it? Yeah, I donít blame you -- itís humiliating. I mean, all those weeks she spent with Miles -- I would think that she would just be -- just drooling to take on a real man like you. Of course, maybe -- maybe after you take off your ur maybe all the glamourís gone. And at the same time, perhaps -- perhaps absence has made her heart grow fonder. Perhaps when you return to Llanview, she'll be draped on your mailbox, waiting for your package. You donít want to talk about it, I'm sorry. Maybe thereís some heavy metal music on the radio.

John: No, you know what? You want to talk, letís talk. How about we start with your phony marriage to Blair?

Harvey: [Feminine voice] Thatís Marcie? She sure doesnít look anything like Eric.

Lee: So you know Eric Walsh?

Harvey: Oh, we are old friends. He called me a few days ago to talk. Heís very worried about his sister.

Lee: Did he ask you to help him?

Harvey: Honey, if that girl walked in here, I'd do whatever I could for her. I think itís a disgrace -- taking her child away. But no, I havenít seen her.

Lee: I think you're lying.

Harvey: And itís a free country.

Lee: Sure. Then you donít mind if we take a look around?

Harvey: Help yourself.

Lee: Thank you -- ma'am.

Moe: Ahem. I, uh, made this up by mistake. It'd be a shame to waste it.

Shane: Thanks.

Gigi: Pickles, ketchup, and the French fries are burnt just the way you like them -- mistake, my foot.

Charlie: Thatís it, huh?

Viki: Thatís it -- the bon suites. What do you think?

Charlie: Maybe I'll check it out.

Viki: Ok. Oh, you know what? My shift is over. Give me a second, I'll get my bag, and I'll walk you over.

Charlie: Yeah.

Viki: Yes, I have come to have a certain amount of influence with the owner since I moved in.

Charlie: I donít doubt that for a minute. Waiter: How are you folks doing?

Sarah: Good.

Waiter: Great. You mind if I have a quick word with you?

Jared: Yeah, of course. Excuse us. Is, uh, something wrong here?

Waiter: Well, perhaps. I'm afraid this was rejected.

Jared: Oh. Uh -- no problem.

Renee: Sorry, sorry, sorry, your money is no good here.

Jared: Oh, Mrs. Buchanan, I canít let --

Renee: No, no, no, no, no, put that away. Jared is my guest.

Waiter: Oh, absolutely.

Jared: That was very sweet -- and absolutely unnecessary.

Renee: You're welcome.

Natalie: You moved into Grandpaís house?

Jared: What can I say? Renee insisted. And wasnít it you who wanted me to give Jessica and hubby a little space?

Natalie: Not like this.

Jared: Sorry, Sparky. You canít call all the shots.

Natalie: You may think you have won this round --

Jared: Oh, no. I know I won, and so do you -- thatís why you're all on fire. And I donít think that ex of yours can quench the flame.

Natalie: Get out of my face.

Jared: Or what? You'll kiss me?

Rex: Are you ok?

Blair: Like you care.

Rex: Look, I'm not the enemy, Blair, I'm just concerned. I -- I saw you talking on the phone, and now you look upset. Was it Todd? Is he closer to finding Tommy and Marcie?

Blair: Itís none of your damn business, Rex.

Adriana: And how long into my pregnancy would I start to show?

John: Whatís the matter, Manning, nothing to say?

Todd: Blair and I got married because we love each other. The judge could see that and thatís why he ordered me custody.

John: Ha.

Todd: The bottom line is I won. How many miles to Decatur?

John: I figure itís about half an hour away.

Todd: The sooner we get there, the sooner we can get out of this godforsaken car.

John: When you're right, you're right.

Harvey: [Feminine voice] Marcieís not here. And as much as I would love to spend more time with you, our show is about to start.

Lee: Whatís back there?

Harvey: The dressing room -- and, honey, you do not want to go back there.

Lee: Stay here.

Clarence: Havenít you never heard of knocking?

Harvey: Sorry, girls. These boys from the FBI just won't take no for an answer. They're looking for a missing woman.

Lee: A fugitive.

Clarence: Oh, I'm sorry, honey, but you struck out. Ainít nobody here but us drag queens.

On the next "One Life to Live" --

Rex: Adriana, is there something you donít want to tell me?

Langston: I donít know if I can do this, Starr. I donít know if I can be a part of your family.

John: Letís just find Marcie and Tommy before Ramsey does.

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