OLTL Transcript Tuesday 10/23/07

One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 10/23/07


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Brandi

Sarah: Ok. So what do you want?

Cristian: Hmm. Good morning to you, too.

Sarah: No, itís too early for "good morning." Why did you call me in?

Cristian: Well, if you're going to be booking bands, we're going to have to talk budget.

Sarah: Now?

Cristian: The sooner the better.

Sarah: What a load.

Cristian: Excuse me?

Sarah: You donít want to talk about money. You dragged me in here at the crack of dawn, because you're pissed that I kissed Jared Banks last night.

[Knock on door]

[Knocking continues]

Miles: All right, all right, all right, all right.

Natalie: Do you have any cream?

Miles: Good morning, Natalie. Come on in.

Natalie: You know, when my momís in town, we never run out of anything. And now that sheís not here, I mean, I guess I'm going to have to be the one going through the cupboards, figuring out what we need, making a list and giving it to Lois, tell her to go to the store, and I'm from a trailer park! Ok, I donít want to ask Lois to go to the store for me, and I certainly donít have time to do it by myself!

Miles: Can you give me a ballpark figure on how long this rantís going to last?

Natalie: Rant?

Miles: Well, whatever you're missing, I -- I donít think itís milk. Whatís going on with you?

 [Rock music plays]

Jared: Ok, what the hell is going on here?

Nash: Oh, good morning! Just a friendly game of poker -- want to buy in?

[Knock on door]

John: Be right there.

Marty: Hi.

John: Hey.

Marty: I -- I brought you some coffee.

John: Thanks.

Marty: Oh, is this a bad time?

John: No-- actually, it is.

Marty: I'm sorry, I probably should've called first.

John: Look, I havenít forgotten everything with us. But the verdict went down, and I've been in free-fall ever since.

Marty: Itís ok.

John: You say that like you mean it.

Marty: I do.

John: Then I've never met anyone like you.

 [Drawer closes]


Blair: Whoís there?

 [Music blares]

Jared: Give me a break! You're playing poker at this hour in the morning?

Nash: Oh, no, no, no, no, we started much earlier, but we had to keep it down because of Bree. You know, we just dropped her off at daycare, so now we can crank it up!


Jessica: Hey, you remember Melba and Boo, Roxyís friends, right?

Melba: Hi!

Boo: Whatís shakin', baby?

Jared: Ok, this is ridiculous!

Nash: Whatís that? I canít hear you.

Jared: Can you turn that down?

Jessica: What?

Jared: Turn it down!

Jessica: Oh, is it bothering you?

Jared: Please!

Jessica: Oh.

Nash: My heavens, he is cranky in the morning.

[Volume lowers]

Jessica: Yeah, after we gave him the master bedroom and --

Jared: I know what you're doing here.

Jessica: Everything.

Jared: You're setting me up, and itís not going to work. Have no idea what heís talking about, do you?

Jessica: Got me.

Jared: The -- the loud music, these two -- characters. Itís amateur night and itís not going to change a thing.

Nash: All I did was invite Boo and Melba up from Atlantic City -- hey, I got to win back some of the cash you got from me, right?

Jared: You actually want to risk a rematch? You did lose the controlling interest in your vineyard last time we played cards, Nash.

Nash: Thatís true. That is true, but now I got Jessica here, so maybe my luck will change. Hey, take a seat.

Melba: Yeah, take a load off.

Boo: Yeah we lost a wad to you, too, and me and Melba, we donít like to lose.

Melba: Uh-uh.

Jessica: Itís not like you have a job to go to or anything.

Nash: Ooh!

Boo: You going to sit down and ante up, or what?

Jared: Why not?

Melba: Whoa! Maybe you ought to throw some clothes on, or I'm going to have one hell of a time concentrating on my cards.

[Boo and Melba laugh]

Jared: All right, well, donít lose all your money before I get back.

Boo: Ooh.

Nash: With any luck, he'll be out of our hair by the end of the day.

Jessica: And more importantly, out of the house.

Blair: Ugh. What in the hell is wrong with you?

Todd: God, you didnít have to bite me.

Blair: Well, you know -- I didnít, really? I wake up from the middle of a -- a deep sleep, and you have your hand over my mouth -- you're lucky that I didnít hurt you worse.

Todd: I was trying not to wake the kids. Actually, I was trying to make sure that Dorian didnít release the hounds.

Blair: Well, you scared me to death.

Todd: Sorry.

Blair: What are you doing skulking around my room in the morning anyway like this?

Todd: Why donít you just go back to sleep?

Blair: I went to bed last night and you werenít home. Did you sleep at all?

Todd: A couple hours.

Blair: Todd -- whatís going on? What are you doing?

Todd: Getting some stuff. You know, the maid keeps putting my clothes in your room -- she thinks because we're married, we're sleeping together.

Blair: Well, are you getting all your stuff because you're moving back to the penthouse?

Todd: No, I'm getting my stuff because I'm going to go find my kid.

Michael: Hey. Nice shirt.

Roxy: Thought you'd like it. I got one for you, too.

Michael: Thanks, but wearing a shirt like that in front of Todd would be like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

Roxy: Screw Todd. Since when do you care what he thinks or feels about anything?

Michael: Since myself, himself, and my brother decided we'd go looking for Marcie -- together.

Roxy: What? You want to say that again?

Michael: The three of us will be spending a lot of time together in an automobile, so I think pissing the guy off deliberately is probably a bad idea.

Roxy: Let me see if I got this right -- the three of you are going to be in a car together looking for Marcie and the baby? Speaking of screws, I think you got a couple loose.

Michael: You may be right, but we have to find her before the FBI does, and my brother wants to keep an eye on Todd, so it kind of works out.

Roxy: Have you heard from her?

Michael: No. My brother tracked her to her brotherís house in New Jersey, but she was gone before we got there.

Roxy: Hey, you got to give her a lot of credit. You know, it takes a lot of moxie to snatch Tommy and run off like that.

Michael: Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing -- there is no way sheís going to give that kid up without a fight.

Roxy: And now sheís got to stay one step ahead of the FBI?

Michael: Yeah -- the FBI, the cops, and Todd.

Roxy: Ooh, man. If she can pull this off, I bet I know the subject matter of her next bestseller.

Marty: Well, donít worry, I didnít come here to talk about us. I -- I really wanted to know if you found out anything about Marcie.

John: We lost her again.

Marty: Oh, I know how worried you must be. Is there anything I can do to help?

John: No. I think I've got it covered.

Marty: So do you have any idea where she is?

John: We're pretty sure her brother helped her dump her car and get a fake ID -- did all that before she ducked out on us.

Marty: I really am sorry. I know how much that little boy means to you.

John: Yeah, he means a lot.

Marty: I understand, I mean, how horrible it must be not -- not knowing where they are or whatís happening to them.

John: Itís tougher on Mike.

Marty: You know, I just donít understand it. How could she just leave him behind?

John: Mike knew that Manning is Tommyís father and he didnít tell her. She thinks thatís the reason why she lost her son.

Marty: Well, if she gets caught.

John: Itís not a matter of "if," itís a matter of "when."

Marty: Oh, I -- I didnít realize you were going somewhere. But you're going after her, arenít you? I -- I guess I should've known.

 [Rock music plays]

[Boo sips loudly]

Boo: Ah.

Singer: You donít bring me down

[Volume lowers]

[Sipping loudly]

Boo: Ah.

Jessica: Jared?

Jared: Yeah?

Jessica: Are you sure you donít want something to drink other than coffee?

Jared: Nope, coffee is fine, thank you.

[Boo gargles]

Jared: Do you re-- do you really have to make that noise?

Boo: Oh. I'm sorry, sorry.

[Sipping loudly]

Boo: Ah. Itís your bet, Jarhead.

Jared: Ok, donít call me that. Do not call me that.

Boo: Well, Jessica told me it was your nickname.

[Boo chuckles]

Jared: How did you know that?

Jessica: Natalieís my sister, she tells me everything.

Jared: Well, I donít like it, so donít call me it.

Boo: Stop stalling, Jar-- Jared. Bet or fold?

[Jared sighs]

Jared: Call. Full boat -- 4s over queens.

Boo: Damn.

Jessica: Jared? Jared?

[Jessica chuckles]

Jared: So now you're going to start throwing peanuts at me?

Jessica: Well, you're supposed to catch them in your mouth. See?

Jared: Ok, I could choke on that.

Nash: Itís ok, I know the Heimlich maneuver.

Jared: Oh, yeah, thatís -- thatís funny, ok. So what do we have in store for tomorrow? Do we got clowns and bagpipes coming?

Jessica: I donít know what heís talking about.

Jared: This -- this lame attempt to annoy me -- it couldnít be more obvious.

Jessica: But is it working?

Jared: Ok, sorry, guys. Not only am I not leaving, I havenít lost a cent.

Nash: Ah, but, you know, you havenít actually won anything yet, either, have you?

Melba: Hmm -- no, we all pretty much broke even.

Boo: Itís been real, but we got a pretty long drive back to Atlantic City, so, hey, letís do this again sometime?

Jared: Hmm.

Nash: Oh, well, hey, next time, donít even bother calling first, just come by, money in hand.

Boo: Will do.

Melba: Aw. Thanks, honey.

Jessica: I'll walk you to the door.

Melba: Mm-hmm. You got my purse, honey?

Boo: Oh -- maybe.

Nash: So what do you say, Jarhead, one more hand?

Jared: Heads-up poker, you and me, huh?

Nash: Hmm.

Jared: Hope you got some

Nash: Actually, I do. We each put up 10% of our shares of the vineyard. What do you say?

Cristian: Donít flatter yourself, Sarah. This has nothing to do with you kissing Jared Banks.

Sarah: It sure had you and Natalie pretty steamed up last night.

Cristian: Listen, if you want to ignore what we said and date a loser like Jared, itís your business.

Sarah: So you call me in here -- before the gas 'n sip even opens -- to work on a budget?

Cristian: Well, itís quiet. Itís a good time to talk. Plus, you got to know the bottom line once you start haggling with these band managers.

Sarah: You're playing with me. You know I donít have a clue about any of that financial crap. I use my contacts to book bands, thatís what I do. Whether or not they bring in money, thatís your problem.

Cristian: Like hell. You book a band that costs us more than what they make, and the club loses money instead of making it.

Sarah: So why donít you do the budget and tell me how much I can pay the bands? I'm going back to sleep.

Cristian: You know, this is so you. You want to have all the fun, but you donít want any of the responsibility.

Sarah: Whatís with the lecture? Put on a suit, and you'd be my grandpa.

Cristian: You donít want to learn? Fine.

Sarah: So this mood you're in has nothing to do with me and Jared?

Cristian: Nothing.

Sarah: You're sure?

Cristian: Positive.

Sarah: God. You are in such denial, itís scary.

Cristian: Denial about what?

Sarah: About liking me, and being jealous that I kissed another guy.

Natalie: I'm upset because I have no cream for my coffee, and you're saying that itís a big deal? I donít --

Miles: No, I was just asking you what was going on with you, thatís all. You're the one whoís making a big deal out of it. You know, my psychiatrist would have a field day with you.

Natalie: Oh, God, tell me you're not turning into one of those?

Miles: One of what?

Natalie: You're seeing a therapist, and then all of a sudden, everything and everyone has some sort of hidden meaning to it. You know, maybe a shrinkís not such a good idea for you.

Miles: You know, you didnít have a problem with me seeing a shrink before. Whatís different? Hey, could it be that thereís something going on with you because of John and Marty?

Natalie: No, I -- I told you that I'm getting past all that. It has nothing to do with John. Huh.

Miles: So -- itís something. Whatís his name?

Natalie: Why does it have to be a him?

Miles: Natalie --

Natalie: Ok, ok. Yeah, itís that guy I told you about -- Jared Banks.

Miles: The guy that you donít want to work with?

Natalie: Yes.

Miles: Well, is he causing you trouble at work?

Natalie: Yes -- well, no, I -- I fired him.

Miles: So whatís the problem?

Natalie: He just wonít back off. You know, ever since I fired him Ė he moved in with Jessica, and now heís driving them crazy. He wonít move out unless I give him his job back, which I offered him his job back, and he wouldnít take it.

Miles: So why did you fire him?

Natalie: Mm-hmm -- you're not going to believe this. Ok, out of the blue, he grabs me, kisses me, and then he has the nerve tell me that I liked it.

Miles: Arrogant.

Natalie: Mm-hmm, and it gets better. He figures out that I'm on to him, itís not going to work on me, so he starts coming on to my cousin Sarah.

Miles: And you care about this because --

Natalie: Because sheís my cousin, and heís a con artist, and he kissed her and heís taking her out on a date.

Miles: Do you want to know what I think?

Natalie: I think you're going to tell me whether I want you to or not.

Miles: I think you're bent out of shape because you're jealous. Mm-hmm.

Marty: You've been suspended, John, you donít have the authority to do this.

John: Well, even if I wasnít suspended, this would be out of my jurisdiction. The minute she crossed state line, this case was turned over he feds.

Marty: Well, then why donít you let them handle it?

John: Oh, I think I should find Marcie first.

Marty: Ok, what are you not telling me?

John: I know the agent whoís in charge of the case from back in my days at the Bureau, Lee Ramsey -- heís a real ass.

Marty: You donít think that he would hurt Marcie or the baby, do you?

John: I think he could push Marcie into doing something dangerous. Everything will go down a lot easier if I find her first.

Marty: Just be careful.

John: Well, itís not like sheís armed and dangerous.

Marty: Well, from what you said, though, this Lee Ramsey guy -- heís not going to like it that you're going after her without him knowing it, and, you know, you're too good of a cop to go to jail for interfering with a federal investigation. It could ruin your career -- you know that.

Natalie: What makes you think that I am jealous of Sarah and Jared? Please.

Miles: Because of the way you're acting.

Natalie: And how the hell am I acting?

Miles: Do you remember what I was like when I found out about John and Marty?

Natalie: Uh -- letís see. You were obsessed. I canít stand being in the same room as Jared.

Miles: And my therapist would say thatís denial.

Natalie: Advice, Miles -- cut back on the shrink.

Miles: Well, if I do, maybe you should pick up the open hours, because I think you'd benefit from expressing all these feelings about Jared.

Natalie: So the guy slobbers on me and I'm a goner? I mean, come on -- Miles, that is so demeaning to me. You think I'm just going to fall for this con whoís a good kisser? Ok. Maybe I have feelings for him.

Miles: Would you like to discuss these feelings?

Natalie: Hate. Distrust, loathing. Those are my feelings for Jared. See? I shared. Happy now?

Miles: Natalie, I just want to help you. I owe you that. When I was going off the rails, you were there for me. I just want to do the same for you.

Natalie: But I'm not going off the rail Miles. I just want to protect Nash and Sarah from Jared.

Miles: Ok. Ok, fine.

Natalie: So you believe me now?

Miles: No. I believe that you believe it.

Cristian: Jealous? Of you and Jared? Not a chance.

Sarah: Oh. So the idea that you might like me makes you laugh?

Cristian: I do like you, Sarah. I think you're a great girl, and thatís why it makes me kind of -- I donít know -- sad, I guess, to see you doing something so stupid as hooking up with a guy like Jared.

Sarah: Oh, come on. You donít even know him.

Cristian: You donít know him. I think I have the guyís number.

Sarah: Well, you're just listening to Natalie.

Cristian: Do you really want to hook up with a guy whoís got it in for your family?

Sarah: From what I've heard, he has every right to be mad at Princess Jessica after what she did to him.

Cristian: It was Tess, not Jess.

Sarah: Oh, what, so all is forgiven? I mean, she treats the guy like crap, throws him into prison for something he didnít do, but she was sick, so heís just supposed to let it go?

Cristian: Listen, this has nothing to do with Jared and Jessica or Natalie and Jared. This is about you and Jared. And Natalie says that the only reason this guy wants to hook up with you is because you're a Buchanan.

Sarah: Yeah, I know, I was there. She acts as if I couldnít possibly attract a man on my own. How sweet of cousin Natalie to look out for me.

Cristian: We just donít want to see you get hurt, or disappointed, Sarah.

Sarah: Well, thank you very much, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Cristian.

Cristian: From what I know about your history, I donít think so.            

Jessica: So, we up for another hand?

Nash: Actually, I just proposed another hand to him. I actually proposed that we each put up 10% of our stake in the vineyard. That way, he'll have a bigger piece of the pie.

Jessica: Ooh.

Jared: And if I lose, you have controlling interest.

Nash: Yeah.

Jared: Do you think I'm a fool?

Nash: , I -- I think that you're a guy who likes to take risks.

Jared: Should I rethink that every time we've played poker, I won?

Nash: We've only played once.

Jared: Well, if I win again, do you agree to stop with the loud music in the morning and the -- the weird types at the breakfast table?

Nash: Probably not.

Jared: At least you're honest.

Nash: Well, somebodyís got to be.

Jared: Hey, I havenít lied to you about anything. I didnít lie to you about what Tess did to me, I didnít lie to you about what I want, and I have not lied to you about how I feel.

Jessica: But you're making our lives a living hell.

Jared: Yeah, well, paybackís a bitch, and so are you.

Nash: Whoa, hey! Hey. What do you say? You in or not?

Michael: Nothing is going to happen to Marcie.

Roxy: Hey, right. You know, I didnít mean to imply that it would. Itís just that sheís between a crock and a hard place. Sheís got the feds after her and sheís got you three guys after her. So no matter who catches her and the baby, sheís going to have to give the baby back to Todd. Am I right about that?

Michael: Yeah. Yeah, thatís the truth. But I think it'll be easier for her if we find her before the FBI does.

Roxy: Oh, man, I donít think thatís such a good idea.

Michael: Well, maybe itís not, but look, I have to -- I have to try and find her. I have to try and talk some sense into her. I have to tell her sheís not going to be able to get away with this.

Roxy: Sheís already getting away with it.

Michael: Yeah, the FBI just put a new guy on the case. The guyís a real pit bull. Itís only a matter of time before he brings her in. Now, if she turns herself in, maybe she can avoid heavy jail time.

Roxy: Well, why should she go to the joint when sheís running away with her own kid?

Michael: Tommyís not legally ours anymore, you know that. I canít let Marcie go to jail, not after everything I've already done to her.

Roxy: What have you done to her?

Michael: I found out last winter that Todd was really Tommyís father, and I didnít tell her anything. I -- I wanted to protect her.

Roxy: So how the hell did she find out?

Michael: Lindsay.

Roxy: Whoa. Man.

Michael: Yeah. "Whoa" is right. Oh, Roxy -- this thing is such a mess, you know? I keep thinking that maybe if I had -- if I had told her, maybe we could have done something, you know? Maybe we could have disappeared. But I didnít. And now Toddís going to end up with Tommy, no matter what. You know, the best I can hope for in this situation is that Marcie can -- can get out of this with the least amount of suffering.

Blair: Here we go. Another wild-goose chase.

Todd: No, thereís nothing wild about it this time. I have a legion of PIs collecting information for me.

Blair: You know, Todd, if you find Marcie first, it could ruin everything.

Todd: Oh, ye of little faith

Blair: Why wonít you let the police and the FBI handle all of this?

Todd: I donít trust the police and the FBI to do it right. And actually, I'm kind of working with them, anyway.

Blair: "Kind of work--" what do -- what do you mean, "kind of working" with them?

Todd: Yeah -- I donít have time to explain, I have to go. We have to get an early start.

Blair: Wait, whoís "we"? What are --

Todd: The guys I'm going with.

Blair: All right, I want -- I want names and numbers.

Todd: Oh, come on, Blair.

Blair: Donít treat me like I'm a nagging wife here I've been in on this with you from the beginning, and I expect a little truth here, a little honesty. You have to tell me everything, for the kids' sake.

Todd: Well, you know the guy, and you have his number.

Blair: Rex?

Todd: No. You'll like this one better. I'm teaming up with John McBain.

Blair: You're traveling with John McBain?

Todd: Mm-hmm.

Blair: Wait a minute. How -- how did you convince him to do that?

Todd: No, it was his idea.

Blair: You're going to kill each other, Todd.

Todd: No, his brotherís coming. He'll be a buffer.

Blair: You hate Michael as much as you hate John!

Todd: It'll be ok, Blair.

Blair: "It'll be ok, Blair." "It'll be" -- you know how many times I've heard that before?

Todd: You know me, Blair. I'm not going to sit around by the phone waiting for it to ring when one of my kids is in trouble. I'm going to go out there and I'm not going to come back until I got him. Thatís it.

Blair: Well, I know how much you want to find him, Todd. Just -- will you be careful, please?

Todd: Always.

Blair: Bull.

Todd: You want to -- you want to wish your husband good luck?

Blair: Good luck, Todd. Please, please be careful.

Todd: All right, for the kids.

Blair: Not just for the kids.

Blair: You better go.

Todd: Yeah.

Blair: You donít want to get stuck in t

Todd: Ahem.

Roxy: Itís amazing what people have done for Tommy. Let me see if I got this right. Uh -- Lindsay murdered Spencer, you lied to Marcie and to the judge, Marcie runs away with the kid, and then Todd and Blair get remarried, all before the kid is 2 years old.

Michael: Well, heís a -- heís an amazing kid, you know?

Roxy: Yeah.

Michael: Can you do me a favor?

Roxy: Sure.

Michael: Could you check my mail?

Roxy: Huh.

Michael: Could you see if thereís anything from Marcie? If there is, will you call me on my cell?

Roxy: Hey, no problemo. And believe me, if I find out where she is, I'm not going to rat her out no matter how big the reward is.

Michael: Thanks a lot, for everything.

Roxy: Yeah. Itís all right.

Michael: Oh, I'm going to go finish packing.

Roxy: Ok.

Michael: Ok. All right.

Michael: Thanks again.

Roxy: Oh, donít worry.

Natalie: Can we please change the subject?

Miles: To what?

Natalie: How about you? Look, I'm sorry that I didnít make it for your sentencing.

Miles: Oh, Natalie, I -- I understand. I know how busy you are at your new job and, hey, you know, it could've been worse. I can afford the fine and I -- I really donít mind doing the community service.

Natalie: Do you know what you're going to be doing?

Miles: Actually, Roxy still has some community service hours to perform.

Natalie: Still?

Miles: Yeah. Yeah, sheís trying to find something that we can do together.

Natalie: You guys are going to do community service together -- my Roxy?

Miles: Yeah. Yeah, I stopped by the hotel and we started talking and --

Natalie: Look, uh, be careful with Roxy. I mean, she means well, but, gosh, I donít want to see you getting into any more trouble.

Miles: Well, well, thanks for the advice. I have some for you, too.

Natalie: Which is?

Miles: Go ahead and try to protect Jessica and your cousin from Jared. Just -- hmm. Just make sure thatís the real reason you're doing it.

Natalie: It is! I have no doubt. Letís do lunch.

Miles: Ah. You just tell me when.

[Door opens and closes]

Miles: Lying -- and denial.

Sarah: Who are you to talk about my history? What is that supposed to mean?

Cristian: It means you tend to hook up with guys you donít know anything about.

Sarah: Hunter -- one mistake.

Cristian: Yeah, you donít know who this guy is or what heís after.

Sarah: And you do?

Cristian: No one seems to know, Sarah, which is even more reason why you should stay away from him.

Sarah: Itís dinner at The Palace.

Cristian: Didnít you learn anything from Hunter? Huh? Come on, Sarah, face it -- you got a thing for bad boys and you're going to wind up getting into trouble.

Sarah: Then find me an alternative.

Cristian: Like who?

Sarah: Like you.

Jared: An additional 10% of an already struggling vineyard, who has yet to show a profit, against giving up my controlling interest. Hmm -- forget it.

Jessica: Oh, so you're just going to torture us forever and ever and ever?

Jared: Well, maybe just other couple of years, you know, to make up for some lost time I spent in prison.

[Knock on door]

[Jessica raspberries]

Jared: Oh, by the way -- I'm not going to be here for dinner tonight. I'm taking your cousin Sarah out to the palace.

Jessica: What, you're dating Sarah?

Jared: Well, she seems like a great girl, you know -- got a mind of her own. I donít think you're going to be able to turn her against me like you did Natalie.

Natalie: No, Jared. You did that all on your own.

Jared: Sparky, you -- you look tired. Sleepless night or something? You missed me, and you're here to beg for me to come back.

John: I have no intention of interfering. If I find Marcie, I'll notify the feds. I'm just not going to turn her over to Ramsey.

Marty: Ok.

John: You know, I have to get going. Marcie has quite a lead on us.

Marty: Yeah, well, I will walk you out.

John: Hey, look. I know this stinks in terms of us -- whatever "us" is.

Marty: I understand.

John: I have no choice right now.

Marty: John, I -- I said itís -- itís ok.

John: Thanks.

Marty: Good luck.

John: I guess this is goodbye.

Marty: Yeah.

[Knock on door]

Miles: Ah.

Miles: Hey.

Roxy: Are you alone or are you in the mist of something?

Miles: Uh -- I'm all alone. Come on in.

Roxy: Hey, nice digs you got here.

Miles: Thank you. Yeah, Vikiís very kind to let me stay here.

[Roxy chuckles]

Roxy: Viki. Hey Natty really had to talk her into that one.

Miles: Yeah. Yeah, I'm very grateful to both of them.

Roxy: Yeah.

Miles: So, what brings you by?

Roxy: Oh, yeah. Well, I found a perfect community service for us to do.

Miles: Oh.

Roxy: You know, something that we really could do together.

Miles: Great. Uh -- unwed mothers counseling at the free clinic?

Jared: You knew I'd be here, didnít you?

Nash: You're always here.

Jared: Thatís because I donít have a job. But Natalie can fix that if she'd give me my job back, on my terms and she'd admit that she overreacted to the kiss.

Natalie: When hell freezes over.

Nash: Why are you here, Natalie?

Natalie: Actually, jarhead here -- well, he couldnít get to our family through Jessica or me, so heís going to our family through Sarah.

Jessica: Yeah, he just told us.

Natalie: Mm-hmm. Well, I'm here to tell him you are not going out with that girl.

Jared: Oh. Sparky, I'm so touched. You know, no wonder you have those bags under your eyes -- you were up all night because you wished it was you going on a date with me.

Todd: Wow. Ainít love grand?

John: Knock it off, Manning.

Marty: What are you doing here?

Todd: Oh, didnít McBain tell you? We're going to get my kid.

Marty: You're going with him?

Todd: Itís not my first choice, but yeah.

Marty: Are the two of you insane? You'll kill each other.

John: Yeah, thatís why we're bringing along a ref.

Marty: Michael?

John: Yeah, Michael.

Marty: Oh, ok. That'll make it a "lot" better.

John: Ah, it'll be --

[Phone rings]

John: Yeah, Mike? Yeah, he just got here. I'll meet you in the lobby. Ok. Letís go.

Miles: Um --

Roxy: Oh, no, no, not that one.

Miles: Oh, thank God, because unwed mothers is not my area of expertise.

Roxy: Oh, good to know that. No. Here, we could be working at the community center.

Miles: Oh.

Roxy: Just a couple of hours a week, and, really, it'll be a piece of cake. You know, we could serve juice and, you know, do art projects like, you know, gluing up stuff on top of other stuff and -- and, well, you could be, like, the basketball coach.

Miles: Uh -- are you -- are you sure you want to work with kids, because --

Roxy: Oh, yeah! I'm great with kids -- not my own kids, but other kids? Oh, they love me.

Miles: Well, I -- you know, I love kids, too. I just donít know anything about them and I donít know anything about basketball coaching.

Roxy: Oh -- whatís to know? Itís like soccer, but you get to use your hands. Or maybe, like, basketball is like soccer but you get to use your feet.

Miles: Ok, well, I -- I donít know soccer, either.

Roxy: Yeah, well, that shouldnít be too difficult. We'll just do a little web surfing, huh? What do you say?

Miles: Ok, sounds good -- I guess.

Roxy: You sure? Because I think we could be a dynamic duo-some -- Beauty and the Beast.

Miles: Ahem.

Natalie: Right. Yes, I'm so jealous of you and Sarah, I'm green with envy.

Jared: Yeah, well, if the shoe fits --

Natalie: I donít want my cousin dating a jerk like you, but you can go out with the Olsen twins for all I care.

Jared: Whatís for breakfast? I can go for a bagel right now.

Natalie: Oh, God -- I donít know how you guys can stand being around him. I mean, when I'm around him for two seconds, I feel like I want to strangle him.

Jessica: Well, we canít stand being around him. We've thrown every trick in the book at him, but itís not working.

Nash: Not quite. It is time to pull out the big guns.

Cristian: Me?

Sarah: Yes, you. You said you liked me, as if I couldnít already tell.

Cristian: I do like you, but not like that.

Sarah: Like what?

Cristian: Look, Sarah, I wouldnít want to be your next mistake -- nothing personal.

Sarah: Oh, I get it, because you're still hung up on Evangeline, and itís way too soon for you to even consider moving on with somebody else.

Cristian: You donít know what you're talking about.

Sarah: No, no, and you know what the best thing is? As long as sheís still in the coma, you can keep using that excuse over and over again.

Cristian: Thatís a little cold, donít you think?

Sarah: I didnít mean it the way it sounded -- I hope she wakes up today. But waiting for her to wake up is another great way out of making a decision about what you want to do with your life.

Cristian: And if you were honest with yourself, you'd realize itís too soon for you to get involved with anyone else, too.

Sarah: I am honest with myself, and I'm ready to move on. So whether you like it or not, and whether you approve of it or not, I'm going on that date with Jared Banks.

Blair: Do me a favor, Todd -- please just come home safe and sound and with your son. Oh, just make this be over.

Michael: If you're here to ask me if I've seen Marcie or heard from her, the answer is no.

John: Whatís going on?

Ofc. Madison: I'm really sorry about this, Lieutenant. Michael McBain, you're under arrest for perjury.

Michael: "Under arrest"?

Todd: Looks like somebodyís not coming on the road trip.

On the next "One Life to Live" --

Natalie (to Viki): Are you ever coming home?

Dorian (to Blair): You would make the perfect foster mother.

Langston (to Starr and Cole): I need your help. You have to hide me.

John (to Todd): Before we go anywhere, we have to get a couple of things straight.

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