OLTL Transcript Monday 10/22/07

One Life to Live Transcript Monday 10/22/07


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Brandi

John: You're not saying anything.

Todd: Oh, I'm speechless.

John: We'll track down Tommy and Marcie ourselves. Whatís there to understand?

Todd: Whatever medication you're on, man, you ought to up the dosage.

John: Marcieís not bringing the kid home on her own. You want your son home in one piece? Thereís a better chance of that happening if we work together.

[Door slams]

Michael: Whatís going on here, Johnny? Selling me out?

Marcie: Ok. Hereís the plan, ok? The plan is if the nice officer comes over to us and he starts looking at us funny, right, because heís on to us, then mommy is going to gun it. I'm just going to gun it. Thatís going to --us five, 10 seconds, I guess, to get a lead on him, but I'm just going to floor it. Marcie, you're just going to floor it, ok? You can do this. We're going to -- we're going to be going really fast, all right? But that is just until we're out of sight, and then we're going to stop. We're going to stop, we're going to turn off all the lights. We're going to be really, really quiet, and then heís just going to zoom right past us, ok? Ok? All right, here it goes. Here we go.

Nash: Done -- finally.

Jessica: But, you -- you cleaned up Jaredís mess?

Nash: Yeah! Game day, officially over.

Jessica: No, no, no. Put it back. Put -- and I mean everything, every crumpled napkin, every beer bottle, the pizza box. We're not cleaning up after that jackass.

Nash: "Jackass" -- no, no, no. See, "Jackass" -- that is Natalieís nickname for him. You will come up with something original.

Jessica: Nash, we are not Jaredís maid service.

Nash: No, we're not. But itís done, ok? Look, itís clean. Now, I intend to spend the rest of my evening enjoying my clean living right I finish putting Bree down, of course. What?

Jessica: You're right. You're right, we -- we shouldnít have to live with Jaredís mess in the common areas. You can take that trash and go dump it in his bedroom.

Nash: Oh, which one? He called shotgun on the master. You remember that, huh? So, what, you want me to turn our bed into a landfill site?

Jessica: No, but, we have to do something. We have to do something. I mean, heís already taken away 51of our lives and heís not going to stop until he takes the other 49%, or God knows what else. Oh.

Natalie: Itís going to be one of those situations.

Cristian: One of what situations?

Natalie: Where I have two conflicting impulses at the same time.

Cristian: Oh, yeah? What are they?

Natalie: A, do the Viki thing -- ignore it all, take the high road.

Cristian: And B?

Natalie: Do the Natalie thing -- kick ass, feel good now, maybe have some regrets later.

Cristian: Well, while you're sorting that out, I'm going to do C -- the Cris thing.

Natalie: Come to think of it, mom knows how to kick ass, too.

[Country music plays]

Viki: Hey, Virgil. Long day?

Virgil: Oh, you better believe it, darling. 12 hours from shaky-town to the big D in the pork chop express.

Viki: Oh.

Virgil: This old diner never looked so good.

Viki: The regular?

Virgil: That sounds good. What kind of pie you got?

Viki: Pie, letís see -- we got blueberry, gooseberry, strawberry, blackberry, raspberry, mixed berry -- and peach.

Virgil: Hmm.

Viki: What'll it be?

Viki: You want a refill on that coffee?

Virgil: Oh -- sure do. Can I ask you something?

Viki: Ask away.

Virgil: Canít they fix your name tag for you? They spelled your name wrong. Whereís the "c" in "Viki"?

Moe: Hey. How about a little less talking and a little more working?

[Virgil chuckles]

Viki: So you think it'd be all right if I talked to those hungry deputies over at table nine, hmm, and assure them that their apps are on the way? Otherwise, they might just sic the health department on you, right? The apps are working, right?

Moe: Tell them to keep their shirts on. My goat cheese quesadillas with the roasted red pepper sauce donít just make themselves, you know.

Viki: Well, I'll tell them that. Oh, and table eight wants pot pie and a short stack.

Moe: Are you pushing the specials like I told you?

Viki: Yes. And I told you fillet of sole is not going to fly with the regulars. These guys -- they want chicken-fried steak and biscuits.

Moe: Some peopleís palates are a crying shame.

Viki: Well, donít give up -- they'll come around.

Moe: They'd come around faster if you'd push harder.

Viki: Moe, if I pushed any harder, this diner would have its own birthrate.

Moe: I want to see some productivity out of you. I hired you and --

Viki: I know -- and you can fire me. I remember that.

[Music plays]

Singer: Now she calls me up

Waitress: Sure is coming down out there.

Viki: Oh. Yes, the roads are getting dangerous.

Waitress: Dry off and sit wherever you want. I'll be back as soon as I hand off those entree

Viki: Thank you.

Waitress: Sure. Welcome to the bon jour cafe, the pride of Paris, Texas.

Singers: Welcome back welcome back welcome back

Viki: Whew.

Jared: Wow, you're a good kisser.

Sarah: You, too.

Cristian: Keep away from her.

Natalie: Sarah, you ok?

Sarah: Uh -- yeah.

Cristian: You donít do that in my club.

Jared: Do what -- kiss a beautiful woman?

Natalie: Manhandle a person.

Jared: Ok, I think I'm the one being manhandled here.

Cristian: You deserve it.

Jared: Well, if thatís the price I have to pay for -- you know, I havenít been kissed like that since -- well, it seems like forever.

Cristian: You know what? Any more lip from you and we're going to have a problem.

Jared: Is this whole town crawling with prudes -- is that the problem here?

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah, well, this is Prudeville that you stepped into, so why donít you crawl back to Creepville where you came from?

Jared: Oh, ho! Somebody made a funny.

Natalie: Yeah, I did.

Jared: So what else is against the rules here -- holding hands, doing the twist?

Sarah: Guys, it was just a stupid kiss. Itís no big deal.

Natalie: Yes, it is.

Jared: Oh! We seem to all got our thongs in a twist here. Would you two prefer it if we were kissing other people?

Michael: I canít believe this. You just volunteered to lead this nut job straight to my wife.

John: Thatís not true, Mike.

Todd: What did the feds get out of Marcieís brother? Did he spill or not?

Michael: No, so get out.

Todd: What happened in the garage?

Michael: Ron didnít know where Marcie went.

Todd: Oh, thatís bull. He had her holed up here.

Michael: Todd -- he didnít know anything, and if he did, he wasnít telling me or anybody --

Todd: No, thatís bull. He knows something -- he just hasnít said it yet. Your brotherís lying again.

Michael: Yeah? If I am, what are you going to do about it?

John: Hey -- knock it off, this isnít helping.

Michael: And enlisting the help of this nut job -- thatís going to help?

Todd: Who are you calling a "nut job," Dr. -- Dr. Baby Thief?

John: Hey, look, you want to stand around arguing, why donít you go back to Llanview, all right? But I'm going to go find Tommy and Marcie, with or without you.

Michael: With -- with this guy? Come on, man. Are you kidding?

John: Do I look like I'm kidding?

Marcie: Breathe. Ok, just breathe, ok? You can do this, Marcie. You can -- you can do this, ok? You have to do this. You have to do this for Tommy. I just want you to think about how crazy Todd is and how crazy that judge is for wanting to give Tommy back to him, ok? Oh, hey, wait, his name is Aaron. His name is Aaron. It is Aaron Shaw and you are Penny. You are Penny Shaw and you drive a red car, ok? Ok. You're -- think you're a Charlieís Angel. You're the fourth Charlie's Angel, you like to protect people. You're the- you're the angel with curves, all right? Just be cool. Mommyís got you covered.

[Tommy fusses]

Marcie: I know. I know, hon. Here we go. Hi. What seems to be the problem, officer?

Michael: So whatís this, John? Payback, huh? You lost your badge, now you're sticking it to me?

John: I understand that you're upset.

Todd: I donít care about this family drama between you guys. You're hiding something, buddy.

John: Shut up and think for a minute, all right? Thatís his wife out there running scared. If my brother says thereís no news, thereís no news.

Todd: Ok. There must be a back door in this place. I'm out of here.

Michael: Yeah, well, donít let the door hit you, buddy.

John: Do either of you realize how lucky we just got?

Todd: Howís that?

John: If Ramsey would've gotten his lead, this situation could've escalated way beyond us.

Todd: Why should I believe you when you say that kind of crap? I mean, you -- you wouldnít let me have my kid when I had the chance. You know, I think I'd put my faith in the feds first, and thatís saying something.

Singer: That was six months 2,000 miles away said baby, baby life has got a

Waitress: Sorry for the long wait. We're a little short-handed and some of these lugs just canít quit talking.

Viki: Especially to somebody as friendly as you.

Waitress: Oh. What'll it be, honey?

Viki: Oh, just coffee, please -- decaf.

Waitress: Are you sure I canít tempt you with some Texas pecan pie? Won first runner-up at the Dallas bake-off two years in a row -- recipe of yours truly, Noelle Ortiz.

Viki: Well, I donít see how I can possibly refuse. Itís nice to meet you, Noelle. My nameís Viki.

Noelle: First time in Paris?

Viki: Yeah. Is it that obvious?

Noelle: Well, in a place like this, you're either a regular or about to be a regular, or lost.

Viki: Well, I certainly know where I fit in.

Noelle: No offense, honey, but when you walked through that door, I thought, "she barely knows where she is."

[Viki chuckles]

Viki: You couldnít be more right. Did you happen to notice anything else?

Noelle: Uh-huh. You may be lost, but you're definitely on your way somewhere.

Marcie: Is my -- is my tail light out? Because those things are behind you Ė

Trooper: License and registration, please.

Marcie: Ok. Ok. Uh -- you know thatís -- thatís my son back there, Aaron? Yeah, he gets really fussy, you know, on -- on long trips, so -- oh, oh, here it goes. Yeah. There it goes. Uh -- you know, we were just on our way back from visiting grandma for a weekend. She gets really ornery if she doesnít see Ė

Trooper: Ma'am, could you --

Marcie: Sorry. Sorry. Hey, look, honey --

[Tommy babbles]

Marcie: No, no, no. Donít worry, ok? Donít worry. Everythingís going to be all right. The nice officer, heís just checking our documents. Heís doing his job, right?

Trooper: Mrs. Shaw? Mrs. Shaw?

Marcie: Uh, yes? Yes, officer? I'm -- I'm Mrs. Shaw, yes.

Trooper: What kind of a snow job do you think you're pulling here?

Natalie: You think I want you to kiss me?

Jared: Well, I'm pretty sure you're not trying to see me in a lip lock with this lunk. Look, man, I'm just trying to keep things light. I'm not sure if you know this, but your ex here is a kung fu master in the art of mixed signals.

Natalie: How is firing your ass a mixed signal?

Jared: First she kisses me, then she fires me. Now she gets all hot under the collar when she sees me with another woman.

Natalie: The woman is my cousin.

Jared: Who does it matter who sheís related to? Sarahís a cool girl -- sorry to talk about you in the third person.

Sarah: No problem.

Jared: And for getting you mixed up with all this.

Sarah: I'll live.

Natalie: You know, for the record, he kissed me out of the blue at work. Thatís why I fired him.

Jared: And here she is again, getting all hot and bothered, trying to bully her way in for another taste.

Natalie: Please, I was paying him to leave town.

Sarah: Hey, if -- if you guys need some space to work this out --

Jared: No. No, thereís nothing to work out. Trust me -- I've moved on.

Cristian: Sarah, please tell me you're not into this fool.

Sarah: He didnít do anything wrong.

Natalie: Look, Sarah, I -- I know that you probably canít see this, but he is using you to get to me.

Jared: Wow! Way to pump up your self-esteem by cutting down your relatives.

Natalie: If you donít back off of my family, I swear to God --

Jared: Hey, I'm just a single guy making conversation with a single girl.

Cristian: All right, well, next time you're in my club, itís hands off unless the lady gives you permission for more, of course. You got that?

Jared: What do you think? Did I come on too strong?

Jessica: So, explain to me again why we canít just change the locks.

Nash: Oh -- what I wouldnít give to call a 24-hour locksmith and have Jared Banks find his stuff in the middle of our driveway.

Jessica: So whatís stopping us?

Nash: Jared Banks. Come on -- he'll call the cops, start waving his little lease contract around in the air, they'd start the eviction proceedings. I'm sorry, all right? This is all my fault.

Jessica: No, no, no. Donít --

Nash: No, it really is, come on. I mean, what was I thinking betting our entire future in a poker game?

Jessica: Jared was looking for pay back something that I did, so if you're looking for someone to blame, then blame me.

Nash: Itís Tess' fault.

Jessica: Whoa, whoa -- hold everything. No, Nash, I'm Tess. Tess is me.

Nash: You know what I mean.

Jessica: No, no, Nash, you're wrong. Look -- I want to be very clear on this, ok? If you're mad at Tess, Tess and I are one person, so if you are angry at somebody, then you are angry at me, ok? So, go ahead, I can take it -- give me your best shot.

Nash: Yeah, the situation doesnít exactly warm my heart, but -- you were ill at the time.

Jessica: But to some extent, itís my fault.

Nash: You know, that -- thatís kind of like saying that -- that any time anybody is sick, itís their fault, right? I mean, just because your sickness was psychological doesnít make it any less real, right? Tess did a lot of things. She did some good things -- she fell in love with me --

Jessica: Hmm.

Nash: Which made me fall in love with her, which made me fall in love with you -- good thing. She also did some other things, things that we have to work through together, right?

Jessica: I love you.

Nash: You better.

Jessica: Oh -- but Tess was a bitch to Jared.

Nash: Yeah, she was.

[Nash laughs]

Jessica: But, um -- but that doesnít mean we should stand for this.

Nash: Heck, no.

Jessica: No, this is our house.

Nash: Whose house?

Jessica: Our house!

Nash: Our house!

Jessica: Our house -- our family, our dream, and I'm not giving it up just because --

Nash: No way!

Jessica: Some creep canít be reasoned with.

Nash: Mm-hmm! Thatís right -- we did not come this far just so that we could roll over and lose to some MBA candidate guy wannabe. We are stubborn.

Jessica: You're brilliant.

Nash: Yeah -- why? What you thinking?

Jessica: Yeah, yeah -- Jared doesnít know how stubborn we are.

Nash: No, he doesnít.

Jessica: I'm thinking that we should teach him a little bit about ourselves, that we should play his game better than he can play it himself.

[Two months earlier]

Viki: Noelle, you were first runner-up?

Noelle: Yep -- twice.

Viki: You were robbed.

Noelle: You want another piece?

Viki: No, I couldnít.

Noelle: Itís the last one.

Viki: In that case, I could. Thank you.

Noelle: So, where were you headed when you ended up here?

Viki: Do you know I hadnít actually settled on a destination. Thank you.

Noelle: A business trip?

Viki: No, I was at a funeral.

Noelle: Oh, I'm sorry.

Viki: Itís all right.

Noelle: I'm sorry if I ask too many questions, too. Moe -- heís the owner? Heís always saying I should leave the customers in peace.

Viki: Hey, itís all right. I donít mind -- honest.

Noelle: Lend or family?

Viki: He was both, actually.

Noelle: Somebody from here?

Viki: No, no, no. He lived in Pennsylvania.

Noelle: So how'd you get from Pennsylvania to Paris without knowing where you were going?

Viki: Excuse me. Um -- I'd like to buy a ticket on the next flight out of here, please.

Ticket agent: Where to?

Viki: It doesnít matter.

Ticket agent: Roundtrip?

Viki: No -- one-way.

Ticket agent: The next flight with an open seat is going to Tulsa.

Viki: Tulsa, Oklahoma. Why not? Tulsa, here I come. Something told me that I needed to get to Tulsa. And once I got to Tulsa, I rented a car and I drove south.

Noelle: If you donít mind my saying so, there are worse places to end up on a rainy night than the bon jour cafe in Paris, Texas.

Viki: You know what I think? I think you're right.

Sarah: What the hell? It was just a kiss, a conversation and a kiss. It meant nothing.

Natalie: To you, maybe.

Sarah: But y -- you act as if Jaredís going to club me over the head and drag me to Vegas for a quickie wedding.

Natalie: Without giving you enough time to sign a pre-nup, I wouldnít put it past him.

Sarah: Guys, you donít need to be so protective. Itís sweet, but itís a little much.

Cristian: All right, where I come from, you do things the right way -- you get to know the girl first. You donít go from zero to 60 at the neighborhood bar, especially after you got sacked for sexual harassment.

Jared: Is chivalry making its last stand in Llanview?

Natalie: No, honey. You wouldnít know chivalry if it was tap-dancing on this bar.

Jared: Ok, I seem to be picking up on a theme -- people here seem to think I have a peculiar way of doing things.

Natalie: Hmm -- blackmailing, trespassing, being a kissing bandit? Well, I think thatís peculiar in any town.

Jared: So I'm not a Stepford guy. Sue me.

Natalie: You're not a normal guy, and trust me, a lawsuitís definitely on the table.

Jared: You're bluffing.

Natalie: Try me.

Jared: Fine. You want traditional? I will give you traditional. Sarah, it has been an absolute pleasure getting to know you, but I would appreciate the chance to learn more. But letís do it right -- how about you and me go on a proper date?

[Natalie sighs]

John: Think you're holding any cards? You're not -- this is a one-time-only offer.

Todd: Your threats arenít very effective without a badge and gun, John.

John: Hey, you know what? While you're playing games, I'm going to go find them and you're going to be so far out of the loop, you're going to have to read about it in your own paper.

Michael: To hell with him, John.

Todd: Now, thatís the best thing you've said all day. Aha! You must be Ramsey.

Ramsey: Uh-huh.

Todd: Todd Manning.

Ramsey: Ah.

Todd: Listen, man, I got people, obviously you got people. We'll put them together, we should be able to find my kid within a week.

Ramsey: Not if I have to waste my time putting you and your people in prison.

Marcie: Um -- well, this -- this really is not what you think it is.

Trooper: What is it?

Marcie: Uh, well, I -- I think that you think that I -- I'm -- I'm conning you, I think.

Trooper: And?

Marcie: And I really donít know what you're talking about, and quite Ė

Trooper: I donít buy this. You're 29?

Marcie: Excuse me? Trooper: Well, your ID says that you're 29, but looking at you -- well, thereís no way you're a day over 23.

Marcie: Oh.

[Marcie chuckles]

Marcie: That -- yes, I -- I -- I do get that a lot.

Trooper: Do you?

Marcie: Yeah, I -- I do. I guess, you know -- what can I say? But I'm -- I'm really -- I'm 29.

Trooper: No kidding?

Marcie: Really.

Trooper: Huh.

Marcie: You know, it must -- must be good genes, you know.

Trooper: Step out of the car, please, ma'am.

Marcie: You think I'm drunk?

Trooper: You're not doing yourself any favors by arguing with me, ma'am.

Marcie: No, I'm -- I'm -- I'm not arguing with you, Officer. I'm not. I just -- my son is in the car. Why would I possibly endanger my son, Aaron, by driving drunk? Why would I do that?

Trooper: Well, for your sake and for Aaronís sake, I hope you're right. Now, please, follow my directions. Without moving your head, can you please follow this pen? Just your eyes.

Marcie: This is crazy, officer. It really is. I'm a very responsible person. E, D, B, A Ė

Trooper: You skipped C, ma'am.

Marcie: Oh. Sorry. Ahem. E, D -- am I slurring my words? What did -- what did I do wrong with my driving?

Trooper: You can put your leg down now.

Marcie: Was I drifting? Tailgating -- I was tailgating, wasnít I?

Trooper: Are you taking anything?

Marcie: What, now I'm on drugs?

Trooper: Ma'am, please --

Marcie: No, I -- officer, I'm not on drugs.

Trooper: And you've been driving for how long today?

Marcie: I've been driving a very long time. I'm -- I'm very sorry, officer. I'm -- I'm very sorry if I was speeding, but itís late out and my son is in the backseat, and I want to get home Ė

Trooper: Ma'am, you werenít speeding, you were driving too slow.

Ramsey: Now, if I get the slightest hint that you or any of you people are interfering with my manhunt, I will put you in jail. You can count on it.

Todd: Well, I -- I have paid professionals. They could complement your team.

Ramsey: No, all they'd do is get in my way. This is a federal investigation. You get in my way, you're going to pay. Now, go home. Let us find your son.

Michael: Well, what about Marcie?

Ramsey: Donít worry, Dr. McBain, you'll hear about your wifeís capture. All right, now, can everyone clear out, please? Forensics is on the way.

John: Letís go, Mike.

Ramsey: And, John, try something. See what I do.

John: Ok.

John: I told you.

Todd: Yeah, heís a real peach.

John: I'm sorry, why are you still here?

Todd: Thereís a big hole in your plan.

John: What?

Todd: Well, I trust you even less than you trust me.

John: So?

Todd: So, how do I know you're not going to lead me on some wild-goose chase?

John: You donít.

Todd: Hmm. You know, when I found out the truth about my son, you had me locked up.

John: You know why I did that.

Todd: Yeah, I know why you said you did it, but if I hadnít escaped, who wouldnít have helped your brother and his wife skip town with my kid?

John: Because if I wanted Michael and Marcie to disappear, they'd be gone, and not you and not Ramsey -- not anyone would be able to track them down.

Todd: Hmm. And how do I know you wonít have an attack of a guilty conscience when we do find them -- help Marcie escape?

John: Itís not going to happen.

Todd: What, because you say so?

John: Because Mikeís not coming with us.

Noelle: I've lived here my whole life, and I got to tell you, lifeís pretty good here in Paris.

Moe: You want how much for that ice? Who the hell do you think you are? You freeze stinking water for a living. Noelle, how about a little less talky and a little more worky?

Viki: And that, I assume, would be your boss?

Noelle: Moe Stubbs, the one and only.

Viki: Oh.

Noelle: Sorry, Moe. Heís not so bad. Just a big old cranky teddy bear.

Moe: Well, maybe he wouldnít be so cranky if he had a staff he could depend on. If staff didnít stand around jawing with the customers.

Viki: Excuse me, sir. Noelle was actually just explaining the specials to me. You know? And -- and whereas when I came in, all I really wanted was coffee and pie, I think now, I really would like to try your bouillabaisse.

Moe: You havenít had bouillabaisse till you've had it made with catfish.

Viki: Oh.

Moe: Gigi called. Sheís not coming in.

Noelle: Again? I hope everythingís all right.

Moe: Whatís going to happen when the late-shift folks come in hungry and I got nobody to cover section two?

Noelle: Well, donít look at me. I've been on my feet for 10 hours.

Moe: I canít cook and wait tables, too.

Vikiís voice: My life is very full, thank you very much.

Dorianís voice: Oh, is it? My point is that you only have one life to live. Asaís life is over, but yours isnít, not yet. You've had a successful career, husbands, children -- whatís next? What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

Noelle: You're just going to have to find somebody else.

Viki: Excuse me. How about me?

Jessica: Well, Jared thinks that he can set up shop here, and what, torture us out of our own house?

Nash: Heís kind of already making some headway, you know? Eating us out of house and home, turning my living room into a frat house nightmare. My DVR -- my DVR is full of golf -- golf!

Jessica: But he is expecting us --

Nash: Delete.

Jessica: To react like civilized people, Nash, that will either wait him out or sue him.

Nash: Heís prepared for both.

Jessica: Yes, but he is not expecting us to get as lowdown as him.

Nash: Oh, I like it. Pull a Jared on the man himself. I like it when you got a plan.

Jessica: You know, we're not beat.

Nash: Uh-uh, we ainít even started.

Jessica: Right -- Jared thinks that he can drive us crazy?

Nash: We will drive him right into a padded room!

[Jessica laughs]

Jessica: And have fun doing it.

Nash: Oh --

Jessica: Yeah! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Jared: What do you say? Me, you, a little dinner, a little dancing, a little moonlight stroll?

Natalie: This is just part of his sick game.

Sarah: Excuse me?

Natalie: Do you have any idea what heís been putting me and Jessica through?

Sarah: No, but after tonight, I'm starting to think maybe you deserved it.

Natalie: Heís trying to hurt our family, Sarah. I mean, he lied to try to get a job with B.E.

Jared: We canít all be born with that silver spoon.

Natalie: And he stole Nash and Jessicaís vineyard right out from underneath them.

Jared: I bought it fair and square.

Natalie: Donít listen to him, Sarah honestly, is just using you to get back at us.

Sarah: For what?

Jared: Jessica sent me to prison for burglary for two years.

Natalie: That was Tess.

Sarah: Same person.

Natalie: Split personality. Anyway, we tried to make amends here with Jared, but he was not interested. Heís just hell-bent on making our family pay, and if you go out with him, you'll pay, too.

Sarah: Is it that hard to believe the guy might actually like me? Sorry -- third person.

Jared: Totally understand.

Cristian: Or maybe you're just making another bad choice about guys.

Sarah: Ok, what?

Cristian: Hunter?

Sarah: One bad guy.

Cristian: Hereís another one.

Sarah: The Palace. Itís my great-grandmotherís joint. The food there is to die for.

Jared: Itís a date.

[Two months earlier]

Moe: You?

Viki: Well, why not me?

Moe: Well, for one thing, I never laid eyes on you before. For another, thereís that accent of yours. What would I want with a Yankee waitress?

Viki: Well, I think you need any waitress you can get.

Noelle: Sheís got a point, Moe.

Moe: Do you or do you not have tables to bus?

Noelle: See what I mean? Cranky teddy bear.

Viki: Mr. Stub, you're clearly in a jam, and I have the time --

Moe: Let me see your hands. These hands donít look like they've ever done a lick of hard work.

Viki: I am no stranger to hard work, believe me.

Moe: You got the experience?

Viki: Plenty -- not as a waitress.

Moe: Can you take a table full of complicated orders?

Viki: I certainly can if I write them down.

Moe: Can you take orders from a handsome fella like me?

Viki: I think I can manage that.

Moe: All right, then. Whatís your name

Viki: Oh -- Viki.

Moe: All right then, Viki. Suit up.

Jared: Well, then I will pick you up at 8:00.

Sarah: I canít wait.

Jared: Maybe we'll see you out tomorrow night.

Natalie: You see? This is all a show.

Jared: I will send Jessica and Nash your regards. Good night, all.

Natalie: If Jared plays you, donít come crying to me.

Sarah: You know, you sound an awful lot like Tina. I think you'd have a big future ahead of you as a jealous mom.

Cristian: We're just trying to look out for you, Sarah.

Sarah: Well, I'm over it. Try looking out for yourselves for a change. You know what I like about Jared? When he sees something he likes, he goes after it and he gets it. He doesnít wait for it to come to him. You guys should try that some time.

Trooper: You were doing 40 in a 65-mile-per-hour zone.

Marcie: Really?

Trooper: Yeah. 50% of the people that we pull over -- if they're driving more than 10 miles per hour below the speed limit, they're usually legally intoxicated.

Marcie: I had no idea, officer. I -- I really didnít. Thatís very informative. Thank you.

Trooper: Thatís my job, ma'am.

[Marcie giggles]

Marcie: Well, I promise that I will pay very close attention to the speedometer in the future. You can count on that.

Trooper: You know, you're a little jittery, too. You might want to call it a night. Thereís a decent motel right off the next exit. Itís just a couple miles down the road.

Marcie: Will do. And thank you -- thank you very much for looking after Tommy and me. I appreciate it, I do.

Trooper: "Tommy"? I thought your boyís name was Aaron.

Marcie: Um -- huh.

John: Sorry, Mike, you're not coming with me and Manning.

Todd: Great, letís hit the road. See ya.

Michael: Uh-uh. I'm as big a part of this thing as either one of you -- bigger, even.

John: I know, Mike, and I'm not trying to cut you out.

Michael: Thatís what it feels like.

John: Listen, you heard what Ramsey said, all right? What we're about to do is a felony -- interfering with a federal investigation -- and I donít want any more heat coming down on you.

Michael: I think thatís my call.

John: I donít think you're thinking about what I'm saying.

Michael: Look, I have broken so many laws at this point, I canít even count. Marcieís my wife, and Tommy -- I'm going with you guys, or nobodyís going at all.

Natalie: Thanks. Why are we so worked up over those two?

Cristian: Sarahís your cousin. Familyís important to you.

Natalie: Yeah. What about you?

Cristian: I donít know. I feel responsible, I guess.

Natalie: Right.

Cristian: I'm like that.

Natalie: No -- no, I know. You know, and Jaredís got another thing coming if he came to me -- I mean, you know, for a job.

Cristian: Right.

Natalie: Thatís so not going to happen.

Cristian: Nope.

Natalie: Itís going to end badly.

Cristian: For Jared and Sarah.

Natalie: Of course. You and me -- we're -- we're golden.

Jared: Hello?

Jessica: Hey, will you come in already? Itís cold outside.

Nash: How was your evening?

Jared: Uh -- very productive. Natalie says hi.

Jessica: Oh. Thanks for the message.

Jared: Whew. All right, I'm beat. Which way to the master bed?

Nash: Right down the hall on your left. We put clean sheets on for you.

Jessica: And thereís clean towels in the bathroom.

Jared: Just -- just like that? You're giving me the bedroom?

Jessica: Well, I'm exhausted. You asked for the bedroom, we talked it over.

Nash: We kind of think of it how, making the most of a bad situation, right?

Jessica: Mm-hmm, yeah.

Nash: Yeah.

Jared: Ah.

Jessica: Good night.

Nash: Night.

Jared: Good night. See -- see you tomorrow.

Jessica: He is not going to know what hit him.

Nash: Uh-uh-uh.

Jessica: No, no, no.

Nash: Uh-uh-uh.

Marcie: Well, "Tommy" is actually Aaronís nickname.

Trooper: How does that work?

Marcie: His grandmother hates his name. What can I do, right? Moms. But "Tommy" is his middle name. His grandma likes to call him Tommy, so I guess that I'm just a little tired, and I --

Trooper: So you're going to take my advice? Get off this road, get yourself some shuteye?

Marcie: No question, officer.

Trooper: All right then. Keep driving carefully. Just donít overdo it.

Marcie: Oh, I'll put the pedal to the metal, donít you worry.

Trooper: Oh, well, now --

Marcie: No, I'm just -- I'm just -- yeah, sorry.

Trooper: Take a break --

Both: Stay awake.

Marcie: Yes, officer.

Trooper: All right. Have a good night, now.

Marcie: All right, you, too.

Marcie: Oh -- huh. Oh, how about that, huh? Whew! Score one for Penny and Aaron Shaw. Huh! Oh!

John: Ok. But you back off when I tell you to, you got it? You got to trust that I know what I'm doing.

Michael: I'm fine with that.

Todd: I'm not fine with that.

John: Well, thatís the way itís going to be.

Todd: This guyís dead weight, man.

John: Take it or leave it.

Todd: Ok. Your show. But let me tell you, you damn well better make it good.

Noelle: Oh, you look just fine.

Viki: Whoís Alice?

Noelle: Oh, Moe fired her a few months ago.

Viki: Oh. Well, I'll just introduce myself, then, ok?

Noelle: All right.

Viki: Ok. Ok. Ok.

Noelle: Oh, I got to tell you one thing. Now, donít get rattled. Gigiís station, section two --

Viki: Yeah?

Noelle: Thatís where the rough and tumble types tend to sit. Just show no fear, and you'll do great.

Viki: Well, I've dealt with rough and tumble types before. Ok.

Moe: I give her one table.

Noelle: You're on.

Viki: Hello. My name is Viki. What can I get you?

[Present day]

Viki: I canít believe itís been two months.

Moe: Well, I guess you like it here.

Viki: Well, I guess I do. You never know where life is going to take you, you know what I mean?

Moe: What I know is these arenít going to serve themselves, so how about a little less talky  --

Viki: And a little more worky, yeah. You know, Moe, you need a new line. You're in a rut. But I'm not, not anymore.

On the next "One Life to Live" --

Sarah: You're pissed that I kissed Jared Banks last night.

Nash: With any luck, he'll be out of our hair by the end of the day.

Todd: We're going to get my kid.

Marty: Are the two of you insane? You'll kill each other.

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