OLTL Transcript Thursday 9/27/07

One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 9/27/07

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Jessica: Get out!

Jared: Itís up to your sister.

Nash: Yeah -- we've talked about it, and we're not going to take any more of your crap.

Jared: Either one of you know the number for the Atlantic City PD?

Nash: Get it yourself. But while you're talking to them, make sure that you mention that it happened over two years ago, and it wasnít Jessica, it was her alternate personality, Tess. What do you think? We'll take our chances, right?

Jared: You feel lucky?

Jessica: I'm not letting you bully my sister into giving you a job.

Jared: You donít need to. She already did.

Natalie: Yeah! Mmm! Nice.

John: Whoever beat you before ainít going to do it twice.

Natalie: Nope, not here, not anywhere.

[Natalie chuckles]

Natalie: Oh, I had better get to work.

John: Thanks for the game.

Natalie: Yeah. Thanks for the apology. It meant a lot to me.

John: I owed you.

Natalie: See you.

John: See you.

Singer: If you had a chance to wear your heroís pants

Talia: Really didnít see that one coming. How did you know those guys were our perps?

Antonio: Oh, you do enough stakeouts, you learn how to read them.

Talia: Well, I guess I have more learning to do. Lieutenant -- I'm -- I'm sorry, sir. I mean --

John: Itís ok. I know what you mean. I'm suspended. You donít need to act like it didnít happen.

Antonio: Well, if itís any consolation, I would have covered for my brother, too.

John: Thanks.

[Antonio sighs]

Talia: You think they'll give him back his badge?

Antonio: I donít know. No idea. I hope so. Because being a cop means everything to John.

Miles: Marty? Hey. Marty, wait. Look, I need to talk to you.

Marty: Look, we donít have anything more to talk about, Miles.

Miles: I need to talk to you about you kissing John McBain.

Cole: Hey, man. I didnít know you were taking creative writing.

Markko: Yeah, I'm into it.

Langston: Oh, please, you're here because you're into me.

Markko: Thatís right. I'm all about Langston Hughes.

Langston: You donít even know who that is.

[Langston laughs]

Starr: So who do you guys think is going to sub for Mrs. McBain?

Cole: We're getting a sub?

Starr: Well, sheís in court with my dad all the time. Thereís no way that she can teach until this thing is over.

Marcie: Good morning, class. Hi.

Britney: This is going to be fun.

Dorian: You expect me to host this sham of a wedding, here at La Boulaie?

Blair: Todd, whatís wrong with City Hall?

Todd: Well, we've been married here before, right? Itís going to look a lot better than some justice of the peace quickie.

Blair: Gosh, he knows how to sweet-talk a girl, doesnít he?

Dorian: Hmm.

Todd: So get to work. You're hosting this thing.

Nora: I just got off the phone with Lindsayís doctors at St. Annís.

Clint: And?

Nora: Well, sheís showing no signs of improvement, so if sheís faking it, sheís just a hell of an actress.

Clint: Whatís her prognosis?

Nora: Itís not good. And -- and Will had to go back to California, so now sheís all on her own.

Clint: Oh. Do I detect a note of sympathy?

Nora: Oh, Clint, if this is for real, she may not recover.

[Clint sighs]

Clint: Trumanís list of victims, it just never ends, does it?

Nora: Well, I think I better call Bo. I want -- I should let him --

Clint: I donít know about that. You know, Bo taking Matthew to País ranch is partly to keep Matthew away from the chaos.

Nora: Yeah, thatís true. And I suppose if he finds out whatís going on, he'll drop everything and come back.

Clint: They're going to be back soon enough, you know. Once they get here, what can they do but worry?

Nora: You're right, you're right. You're absolutely right. You're right. No, let them enjoy their trip.

Clint: Oh, before you go, Nora, the -- your mail came.

Nora: Oh, the mail? Oh, the mail. Gosh only knows what kind of contest I could have won. Maybe a bazillion dollars.

[Clint chuckles]

Nora: Oh -- oh -- oh -- oh, my God.

Clint: What is it?

Nora: Oh! Itís my check from the insurance company! Ah! Clint, Matthew and I can finally buy a home! Oh, my God! We're going to be out of your hair, and you can start popping champagne bottles to celebrate tonight.

Clint: Actually, I donít think I'll be celebrating that.

Marcie: Ok, if you can just pass these around -- thank you, Starr.

Marcie: Ok. Is anyone familiar with Denise Levertov? Britney?

Britney: Oh, actually, I donít know who she is. Um -- I just wanted to say, I really hope you get to keep your baby, Mrs. McBain.

Marcie: Thank you, Britney. Uh -- Denise Levertov was born in England and she worked as a nurse in World War II.

Britney: And I want you to know that you have our support.

[Marcie sighs]

Britney: Doesnít she, everyone?

Marcie: Britney, I think it is inappropriate for you, or myself, to discuss my personal life in the classroom, ok?

Britney: Oh, you didnít think so last year. I mean, you used to talk about Tommy all the time, remember? Like any good mom does.

[Marcie sighs]

Britney: And I think that you're a great mom, Mrs. McBain. And I think itís awful that someone is trying to steal your son away --

Langston: Zip it, Brit! Or I'll zip it for you.

Britney: All I'm saying is that --

Cole: Hey! You heard her, Britney. Shut up.

Britney: Mrs. McBain should not have to lose her son.

Starr: He is not her son! And that was so low of you trashing my dad in court! What he did in college has nothing to do with what kind of father he is!

Marcie: Starr, you donít understand the ramifications --

Starr: I understand. Ok? Tommy is my brother and you are trying to take him away from us.

Marcie: Tommy is my son. And he has been my son for a year and a half. And since your father found out who he was, he has not made one single effort to work with me and my husband!

Starr: Why should my dad work with you?

Cole: Starr --

Britney: Look, we are all on your side, Mrs. McBain.

Marcie: Britney, please!

Starr: My dad never wanted Tommy to be adopted.

Marcie: This father you're so proud of -- he is treating me and my husband like we are criminals!

Britney: And as if the world needs another

Marcie: Britney, shut up!

Starr: We donít need your crap, Britney!

Marcie: Oh, great! Great! Now you're starting to sound just like him! Do you think I want that for my son? Do you think I want Tommy --

Man: What is going on here?

Marcie: To be the kind of man your father is?

Man: What is going on here? I can hear you all the way down the hall!

Marcie: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mr. -- Mr. Fletcher. I -- I'm -- I'm -- I'm not -- I'm not usually like this. I'm so sorry. Mr. Fletcher: The class is dismissed. I need to have a word with Mrs. McBain.

Marty: We are not married anymore. According to the courts, we never were. Look, my personal life is none of your business.

Miles: I know. I know. I just -- I canít help it that -- that I still have feelings for you. And when I saw you kiss John in a way that we never kissed, it hurt.

Marty: Miles --

Miles: Please, just -- just let me finish. My -- my therapist helped me realize that if I really want you to be happy, then I'm going to have to accept the fact that your happiness -- it might come from someone else.

Marty: And you can do that?

Miles: I want the best for you, Marty. I mean it. And I'm trying to rebuild my life.

Marty: Well, thatís not an easy thing to do.

Miles: No. But apparently, you're doing it with John.

Marty: Miles, I am not building a life with John -- not that it is any of your business.

Miles: But you like him, right? Do you remember when we were snowbound at the ski lodge last winter and we were wishing on a star?

Marty: Where are you going with this?

Miles: My wish was that one day you would look at me like you look at John.

Dorian: Donít you think the timing of this so-called wedding is going to be deemed suspicious?

Todd: Well, when did I have time to do it before? When I was missing?

[Dorian sighs]

Todd: Half dead?

Dorian: Hmm. I'm just playing devilís advocate here. If this were a real marriage --

Todd: Itís going to look like a real marriage. Isnít that right, love of my life?

Blair: Oh, come on, Todd, -- if we're going to make this look real, it has to be an award-winning performance here. If the judge buys it, Todd gets his son back. If he doesnít, nothingís changed, and we havenít lost anything, right?

Dorian: Oh, please, donít ask me that question.

Blair: Well, I mean, it would be worth it.

Dorian: Todd, why donít you ask Viki to throw you a wedding?

Todd: Sheís out of town.

Dorian: Oh.

Blair: Well, you know what? This is a great opportunity for you. This will be all over the society pages, and you could finally be one up on Viki. That'd be good.

Dorian: Itís not going to come cheap.

Todd: I know. Send me the bills.

Dorian: I wasnít thinking about that. It goes without saying. I was thinking about the $5 million you promised to pay Blair.

Todd: I'm good for that.

Blair: Yeah, thatís cash up front. No "I do" before you do.

Todd: I'm glad to know that you're doing this for all the right reasons.

Blair: Come on, Todd. We've made it very clear doing this to get your son back. Somebodyís got to look out for me, right?

Todd: You always look out for you.

Blair: Well, somebody has to, because you wonít.

Todd: So how long is it going to take to get this thing together, Dorian?

Dorian: I know everybody worth knowing in this town. With a few phone calls, I can get the place decorated and catered. I'm afraid the only problem is going to be finding any guests to come who are willing to wish the two of you good luck.

John: Everything ok?

Marty: Yeah, itís fine.

Miles: Yeah.

Marty: Miles and I just ran into each other.

Miles: Literally. You donít have anything to worry about with me, John. You know that look I was talking about? It looks good on you. I'll see you.

John: See you.

Marty: Huh.

[John sighs]

John: So what was that all about?

Marty: Nothing, he just -- he just wanted to tell me that heís trying to change.

John: Oh, I donít think people like that change. What did he mean by "that look looks good on you"?

Jessica: Thereís no way Natalie would hire you. Not after the way you scammed us.

Natalie: Actually, I did. Jared now works for Buchanan Enterprises.

Jessica: Natalie, I appreciate that you're trying to protect me, but itís not necessary.

[Jared chuckles]

Jared: She didnít hire me to save you, or Tess or whoever you are right now. She didnít have any choice.

Nash: What, do you got something on Natalie now?

Jared: Yeah, I -- I got her behind the eight-ball.

Natalie: Ok, what Jared means --

Jared: I made her realize that it was a losing proposition not to hire me, that sheís smarter than that.

Jessica: Natalie, come on, you can handle this jerk. Just kick him out on his ass.

Jared: See? Now, thereís the Tess that I knew.

Nash: No, no, no, thatís not Tess. Thatís Jess. And Natalie has nothing to do with this, so why donít you get up, walk out of here, and donít come back.

Jared: I'm not walking.

Nash: Oh.

Jared: Natalie and I have a deal. Isnít that right, Sparky?

Jessica: "Sparky"?

Dorian: Thank you. Goodbye. Ok. I've got beluga caviar coming. Not the highest grade, but then again, itís very short notice.

Blair: Thank you for doing all this, really.

Dorian: I just hope it works. Because if it doesnít, Todd will still be without his son, and you --

Todd: She'll be $5 million richer.

Dorian: I just hope her heart isnít going to be broken into 5 million pieces. And what about your children?

[Doorbell rings]

Dorian: Excuse me. Thatís probably the florist.

[Dorian sighs]

Blair: Sheís right, you kn. We got to be careful what we say. It could devastate Jack and Starr.

Todd: Yeah, but if we tell them, they could give us away.

Blair: They want us to be together.

Todd: Yeah, well, I donít know. Jack, maybe.

Blair: No, Starr, too. We really need to be careful, Todd. We got to tell them something.

Todd: Yeah, but -- Starr can keep a secret. Jackís a wild card.

Blair: But itís something we -- we got to risk. I mean, I'd lie to the judge, but I wouldnít lie to our kids.

Todd: All right. But keep it simple, though.

Blair: Well, it is simple.

Todd: All right. I'm going to go pick up Starr, and you should slip into something more wedding day.

Blair: You know, I saved the dress from the last time, you know. The one that -- the wedding that Margaret messed up.

Todd: No kidding. You kept that thing?

Blair: Yeah, I did. I -- I -- you know, I was going to donate it. But I just -- I havenít gotten around to it.

Todd: Yeah, well, thatís convenient.

Blair: Yeah, very.

Todd: All right, get ready.

Blair: Todd? Donít forget to pick up my check for 5 million.

Antonio: You've been nonstop since you got back from your New York trip. Like you're trying not to think --

[Talia sighs]

Antonio: Maybe.

Talia: The 9/11 anniversaries bring up a lot, you know.

Antonio: Even for those of us who werenít there. I donít know how you do it.

Talia: You just do it. You know? You have to move forward, and -- itís a really hard day every year. But, God, the human spiritís really tough. And you donít really get to learn that until itís tested.

Antonio: I hear you. So did George go with you?

Talia: Um --

Antonio: I mean, since heís your -- your guy, I just thought, you know --

Talia: Uh -- help me --

Antonio: Yeah, ok.

Talia: He had to work.

Antonio: Oh, yeah? What -- what does he do? Here.

Talia: A job that requires you wearing a suit --

Antonio: Yeah?

Talia: Every day.

Antonio: Well, I never figured you for a suit.

Talia: Gross.

Antonio: Um -- so whatís the deal? Think you met the one?

Talia: Yeah, I think maybe I have.

Clint: You know, it was a couple months before he died, Pa told me that he was going to ask you and Matthew to make this your permanent home.

Nora: He said that?

Clint: Well, I cleaned up the language just a little bit, but --

[Nora chuckles]

Clint: You know, at one point, he said "Clint, I'm going to find a way to make them stay."

Nora: Yeah, there you go. That sounds more like Asa.

Clint: Yeah. Asa did not want you two to go. So in the absence of my father, I'm making you the offer.

Nora: Oh, Clint, come on, you donít have to do that.

Clint: I want to. I want you to make this your home, for good.

Dorian: Straight through to the living room. Thank you very much. No, there is not a caterer here yet. I -- I -- please, we're having a wedding. We cannot be without food. Thank you very much.

Blair: It was a horrible idea. Thereís -- thereís no way I'm going to be ready in time. I canít find my shoes. And forget about my hair looking like anything special.

Dorian: Blair, arenít you getting a little bit carried away with this wedding thing?

Blair: Dorian, I want to look decent.

Dorian: But about the dress --

Blair: Oh, you know what? I'm tired of everybody giving me a hard time about my dress.

Dorian: Who else is?

Blair: Todd. He was surprised that I still had it.

Dorian: Yeah, well, the last time you wore that dress, you were marrying him for love. Oh, excuse me, please. Thatís an antique. Be very careful with it.

Man: Yes, ma'am.

Dorian: Good.

Blair: I didnít have time to buy a new one.

Dorian: Oh? Is that the only reason?

Blair: I know what I'm getting into, Dorian.

Dorian: I hope so.

Blair: Yeah, I'm doing this for $5 million and for Todd to get his son back.

Dorian: What if it doesnít work? What if the judge thinks the baby stays with the McBains?

Blair: Well, then it would kill Todd.

Dorian: What about you? Will you stand by him as his wife?

Langston: You know, you're like toxic waste, spreading your poison wherever you go.

Britney: I just hope Mrs. McBain isnít in trouble.

Cole: What?

[Cole laughs]

Cole: Oh, please, you donít give a damn about her or Starr.

Britney: Look, Mrs. McBain is really nice. And her husband happens to be a doctor, not some --

Starr: Hey, say it, and you're dead!

Britney: I donít have to. Everybody knows what your father is. Anyway, it looks like Mrs. McBainís going to need a new babysitter. I think I'll go offer my services.

Starr: I'll kill her.

Cole: Starr, Starr, Starr -- calm down. Relax. Relax.

Markko: Just forget the Brit-Bot, all right? Sheís not worth it.

Langston: Markkoís right, Starr.

Cole: Sheís just trying to mess with you, all right?

Starr: You know, I'm not even worried about Britney, itís just what Mrs. McBain said really freaked me out.

Mr. Fletcher: I may be new here, but I know your reputation, Mrs. McBain. You are considered an excellent teacher by both your colleagues and the students.

Marcie: Thank you.

Mr. Fletcher: Still, I cannot allow any faculty member to bring their personal business into the classroom.

Marcie: No, I agree with you. I agree. I'm just -- I'm under a great deal of stress right now, and I guess I lost it for a second. I am so sorry.

Mr. Fletcher: The things you were saying were completely inappropriate. I'm sorry, until this custody issue is settled, I'm going to have to place you on indefinite leave.

Marcie: No, please, Mr. Fletcher, I love these children. I promise you, I will not let them again.

Mr. Fletcher: I'm sorry, I'm sticking with my decision.

Marcie: Ok. Just give me a few minutes so I can get my things together.

[Door closes]

Natalie: My name is Natalie, Jarhead, and I'm your boss.

Jared: Anything you say, Sparky.

Nash: Natalie, I got to put up with this guy. He owns 51% of my vineyard, but you donít. You can fire him.

Jessica: See? You hear that? Get out of here.

Jared: I donít think Natalie wants me to.

Natalie: Itís all right. I know how to handle him.

Jared: Is that one of the perks?

Jessica: Ok, ok. Um -- I'm going to need to speak to my sister alone.

Natalie: Wait in the hall.

Jared: Oh.

Jared: I think I'm going to like working here.

Jessica: Would you mind if I spoke to Natalie alone for a second?

Nash: Yeah.

Jessica: Thank you. Natalie, you donít have to do this. Ok, Nash and I made some calls. We're pretty sure that Jared canít get me arrested.

Natalie: Of course not. You had DID when you set him up, but he can still do a ton of damage if he smears your name in the news.

Jessica: Thatís never going to go away.

Natalie: Well, it might if he thinks heís going to lose his cush little job over it.

Jessica: And then what? Heís just going to keep on upping the demands.

Natalie: Jess, I didnít hire him because of your thing anyway.

Jessica: Then why else would you hire him? You donít like this guy, do you?

Blair: You know, I'm not going to even think about this not working because it will work. Thereís some truth in some of this. That baby is Toddís son, Toddís a good father, Todd will get his son back, and the rest, well, it'll take care of itself.

Dorian: You're leaving out one crucial point.

Blair: What?

Dorian: Thereís just one reason why you're doing all of this -- because you're still in love with Todd.

Starr: Hey, Mom, whatís going on?

Blair: Where -- whereís your dad?

Starr: I have no idea. School got out early and I came right home.

Blair: Hmm. Well, I guess -- I guess I'll just explain it to you later. We'll wait.

Starr: No way! Thereís wedding stuff all over the place. I want to know whatís going on.

Dorian: Donít look at me!

[Phone rings]

Dorian: Oh, excuse me. I've got things to do.

Blair: Dorian?

Dorian: Hello? What do you mean Lori is not available? Get Monsieur Mark!

Starr: Is -- is she getting married to Clint?

Blair: Uh, you know, I really just donít want to get into it right now.

Starr: Ok, sure. Yeah, thatís fine. I'll just ask this guy.

Blair: No, no, no, no. There is going to be a wedding here today.

Starr: Whose?

Blair: Your dad and me.

Marcie: What are you doing here?

Todd: I'm here to get my kid -- Starr. Where is she?

Marcie: Class was dismissed early.

Todd: Why?

Marcie: I donít think we should be talking without our lawyers present, Todd.

Todd: Was it your lawyerís idea to rake me over the coals like that in court? Or yours?

Marcie: I will do whatever it takes to keep my son where he belongs, where he is loved, protected, and safe.

Todd: You called me a kidnapper and a murderer and a rapist. You know what? I'm all three.

Marcie: Are you threatening me?

Todd: Just running down my rap sheet, just like your lawyer did.

Marcie: I'm not afraid of you

Todd: You should be. I'm going to get that kid back.

Marcie: Not if I have anything to do with it!

Todd: You donít. Things are going my way now.

Marcie: What does that mean?

Todd: Itís just a feeling.

Marcie: You need to go -- now.

Todd: All right. I'll see you in court, Marcie. I'm looking forward to it.

Marty: Miles and I were just talking about moving on. Thatís all.

John: Donít let him fool you.

Marty: No, I'm not. I know what heís capable of and I will be ready for it this time.

John: I just donít want to see you get hurt.

Marty: Well, I -- I wonít be.

Cole: Hey, heads up!

Cole: Oh, yeah -- nice pass, Markko! Man. Mom. John. Whatís going on?

[Music plays]

Antonio: So how long have you known George?

Talia: Oh.

[Talia chuckles]

Antonio: Huh.

Talia: Long enough.

Antonio: Well, I hope he has a sense of humor because I donít see you with somebody who doesnít.

Talia: He -- he knows how to laugh.

Antonio: You guys got a lot in common?

Talia: More than you can imagine.

Antonio: What do you think about the -- the high-society scene?

Talia: I donít want to offend you. Itís just -- itís not really my scene.

Antonio: Oh, you're not offending me a bit. I prefer a local bar, you know, and a bowl of nuts.

Talia: And a band.

Antonio: Hmm.

Talia: Not a cover band, though, and beer.

Antonio: Exactly, exactly. He better treat you right.

Talia: Heís a good guy. Heís tough, but heís soft underneath it all. He does right by everyone and heís really attractive, like really good-looking.

[Talia sighs]

Talia: Heís probably the most amazing man I've ever met. Uh-oh -- I'm gushing! Gross!

Antonio: No. Thatís what happens when two people are in love.

Talia: Oh.

Antonio: So when do I get to meet this guy?

[Talia gulps]

Talia: Ahem.

Nash: So let me get this straight. You come into Llanview, you scam me for 51% of my vineyard, you blackmail my wife, you bully her sister into giving you a job, and you expect us to be cool with that?

Jared: Thatís your choice. But, hey, me working at B.E. doesnít mean I'm not going to hold up my end of the vineyard.

Nash: Oh, good. Because as far as I'm concerned, the less I got to deal with you, the better. That goes for my wife, too.

[Door opens]

Jessica: Ready to go?

Nash: Yeah.

Jessica: You hurt my sister, what Tess did to you will be a happy memory compared to what I'll do to you. Uh-uh! No smart remarks. Donít think I'm not serious.

Jared: So, whatís on tap, Sparky?

[Phone rings]

Natalie: Hello?

Miles: Hi, Natalie, itís Miles. I hope I didnít catch you at a bad time.

Natalie: Oh, itís not for you, Miles. Whatís up?

Miles: Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for lunch.

Natalie: Oh. I really wish I could, but I have a situation here.

Jared: How about dinner then?

Natalie: Yeah, dinnerís good. It sounds fun. Itís a date.

Miles: Ok, great. Uh -- how about we meet at Llanfair, say 7:00?

Natalie: See you then.

[Jared sighs]

Natalie: Do you exist just to annoy me?

[Jared chuckles]

Jared: Hey, I did you a solid. I could've told them why you really hired me.

Natalie: You beat me at a game of pool -- itís not a big deal.

Jared: You didnít tell them.

Natalie: Why didnít you?

Jared: Didnít want to gloat.

Natalie: Oh! You love to gloat.

Jared: Well, maybe I love you more. Huh.

Marty: Yeah -- John and I just ran into each other.

John: Yeah, just out here ducking footballs.

Cole: Ok.

Langston: You throw like a 2-year-old.

Markko: Well, at least I donít throw like a girl.

Langston: Ok, well, this girl can --

Marty: Langston, hi.

John: Hey.

Markko: Hi.

Langston: Yeah. Um -- ok. I'm going to go, so I'll see you guys later.

Markko: Hey, wait up. I'll walk you.

Langston: Oh, what -- you donít think I can make it home on my own?

Markko: Uh, itís on my way. Is that a problem?

Langston: No. Come on.

Markko: Later.

Marty: Oh, whatís so funny?

Cole: Arguing is such the norm with those two.

Marty: Ah. Hey, Mister, why arenít you in school?

Cole: Oh, our last class got canceled.

Marty: Why?

Cole: Well, it got kind of weird between Starr and Mrs. McBain.

Marty: Did the -- the baby come up?

Cole: Well, yeah, thanks to Britney. She kept sticking it to Starr.

John: Is Marcie ok?

Cole: Sheís -- sheís pretty upset. But I'm more worried about Starr. Sorry.

Marty: Look, itís not a good situation any -- any way you look at it. Someoneís going to get hurt.

Starr: You guys are going through a lot of trouble for a fake wedding.

Blair: Itís going to be a legal marriage.

Starr: Itís not real.

Blair: I know -- not like you think. And itís certainly not what I ever want for you. It'll be a marriage in name only.

[Music plays]

Talia: George is really hard to pin down these days.

Antonio: Well, he doesnít work 24/7.

Talia: No, but he works different hours than we do.

Antonio: Well, we'll work something out. I'll go easy on him, I promise.

Talia: Um --

Antonio: So when do I get to meet the mystery man?

Talia: I'll set something up.

Antonio: Perfect. Just what I need.

Talia: What? You want to go back now?

Antonio: No, no, no. Uh -- take your time, enjoy the rest of your break. I'll see you back at the station.

Talia: Ok.

Singer: Distract myself with everything but I donít know

Talia: How am I supposed to introduce someone to Antonio who doesnít exist?

Singer: Still be running too.

Nash: Whew. Banks is a bug.

Jessica: Yeah, but Natalie thinks she can handle him.

Nash: Yeah, well, if anybody can, itís her. I sure wouldnít want to be on her bad side again.

Jared: So, now I have my paperwork -- whereís my new office?

Natalie: Right there.

Jared: Ha! All kidding aside.

Natalie: Whoís kidding?

Jared: I want my own space.

Natalie: And I want to keep my eye on you.

Jared: I bet you do, Sparky.

Natalie: Just how big is your ego?

Jared: Uh -- too big to share an office.

Natalie: Well, shrink it. Pick up that mess.

Jared: Oh, sorry -- not in my job description.

Natalie: Well, you're a research analyst, and those companies are going public in a few weeks.

Jared: Bennington Industries and J.P.K. Services?

Natalie: Oh, he can read.

Jared: Do you know what their projected IPOs are?

Natalie: Nope!

Jared: Do you know what an IPO is?

Natalie: Initial Public Offering -- any more questions?

Jared: Just one. You donít have a clue what to do with this stuff, do you?

Natalie: Hmm. Well, thatís your job. My job is to make sure you do it before I have a 3:00 with the CFO.

Jared: Oh.

Natalie: And I want it done ASAP -- do you know what that means?

[Jared chuckles]

Natalie: Why are you smiling?

Jared: Oh, itís going to be fun working with you.

Natalie: Huh. "Fun" -- like sticking four-inch spikes in my eyes.

Jared: Hmm.

John: Itís probably best we donít talk about the custody case.

Cole: Deal.

John: So, you -- you playing again?

Cole: Yeah, but not first-string because of the whole steroid thing.

Marty: Sweetie, I am proud of you. You did what you had to to get back on that team.

Cole: Yeah, but who knows? If I take some extra practice, maybe the coach will start me.

John: You want to toss it around a while?

Cole: Really?

John: Yeah, sure. I got nothing else to do. Go deep.

Cole: All right.

John: Well, not too deep. I'm -- I'm old. Right there.

Nora: Wow, Clint. Thatís a -- thatís -- thatís a very nice offer. Itís --

Clint: You're turning me down.

Nora: No, I -- I'm not.

Clint: Huh?

Nora: I'm not. I just, I need to think about it. I mean, I -- I also -- I've got I could possibly accept.

Dorian: Accept what?

Nora: Clintís asked me to live with him!

Clint: Ahem -- listen, it was Asaís wish that Nora and Matthew stay on here.

Dorian: How very thoughtful of Asa. But we have more important things to talk about. Your tuxedo -- is it back from the cleaners? Because you're going to need it.

Todd: Hey. I went to pick you up at school, you were already gone.

Blair: I told her, what she didnít figure out already.

Starr: Yeah, and I think that what Mom is doing is amazing.

Blair: I do anything to help your dad.

Starr: Well, I -- I think it'll work, no matter what Mrs. McBain thinks.

Blair: What are you talking about?

Starr: Nothing, nothing. Um -- even though this wedding is bogus, I want to go get ready and look nice.

Todd: Whew. Well, the place is starting to shape up.

Blair: Yep, like a real wedding should. Hmm.

Todd: Blair?

Blair: What?

Todd: Um -- I know we've talked about this before, you know, how we canít exactly make it -- uh, real. But I want to do it -- I want to do it right, you know, from the heart.

Blair: Well, what are you talking about? Todd!

Todd: I want you to have this. I -- I think you'll like it.

Blair: Todd?

Todd: Go ahead, open it. You know you want to.

Blair: Oh. Wow. $5 million.

Todd: Exactly what you wanted, right?

Blair: Down to the penny.

Todd: All right, letís get this show on the road.

On the next "One Life to Live" --

Jared: When was the last time you had sex?

Cole: Whatís going on?

Starr: My parents are getting married.

Blair: What are you here for?

Todd: This.

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