One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 5/9/07
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Rex: So come on, Tate, bring your friends. Or make new ones. Thereís a lot of people here tonight. And I'm sure you'll find somebody to hang with.
Tate: Son of a bitch.
Rex: Well, what can I say? Itís for a good cause.
Adriana: Are you crazy, Rex?
Rex: You look shocked.
Jane: This is huge.
Rex: Whatís the big deal? Itís a new millennium. Nobody cares if you're gay or straight so come on down to ultra violet, Tate. The closetís for mothballs, not men.
Anchorwoman: What the hell is going on?
Adriana: Oh. Thatís what I'd like to know.
Cole: Mom, whatís wrong with Starr?
Marty: Look, sweetie, I didnít want to have to tell you this tonight, but her dad is missing.
Cole: When? How?
Marty: Look, I will tell you everything later.
Cole: I'm going to go talk to Starr.
Marty: Cole --
John: Hey. She should be with her mom right now, donít you think?
Cole: Yeah, ok.
Starr: Dadís missing? Did -- did he run away?
Blair: I donít know.
Starr: Well, maybe heís not gone. Maybe he just didnít want to be with you.
Blair: Um -- Starr, can we talk about this at home?
Starr: No, I want to talk about it now!
Blair: Could you just keep your voice down, please?
Starr: All you care about is what other people think? Dad could be dead.
Blair: No, heís not dead, all right?
Starr: How -- how do you -- how do you know that? Why -- where is he? Why hasnít he called me?
Blair: Sweetheart, we will figure that out.
Starr: But dad -- he could be -- he could be dead.
Blair: Heís not. Heís not. Heís fine, wherever he is.
Starr: Well, then why didnít you tell me that he was missing?
Blair: Because I didnít want you to worry, ok?
Starr: So -- so -- so you just -- you thought that he would come back and I would never have to know about it?
Blair: You blame me?
Starr: You're scared, arenít you, mom?
Nash: The Jessica I know -- the one I fell in love with -- sheís a fighter. Sheís strong. But you canít do this without me.
Jessica: Well, Antonio will have something to say about that.
Nash: Well, he can try. But it wonít do him any good. All right?
Jessica: You donít know Antonio.
Nash: Ha, ha. Well, he doesnít know me. He tried to keep me away from you, but I wore him down.
Jessica: He knows that you love me.
Nash: And heís right.
Jessica: But he doesnít know that I love you.
Nash: I think your mom suspects. She practically threw me out of here the other day.
Jessica: She was trying to protect me.
Nash: No, you know what? Maybe itís time you started doing what you need. And I think you need me.
Cristian: Hey, man.
Antonio: Thanks for coming.
Cristian: Howís Jess?
Antonio: Sheís -- I'm not sure.
Cristian: Is she in there?
Antonio: Nash is in there.
Cristian: Nash? Antonio, thatís a bad idea.
Jane: Did Tate Harmon give you permission to out him?
Rex: Tate needs to understand the world will accept him for who he is. He doesnít have to hide anymore.
Jane: Is that the reason why you're hosting this aids awareness fundraiser?
Rex: The purpose of the fundraiser is to raise funds. Tate is a role model to gays everywhere. Successful athlete --
Rex: Spokesmodel for exposed.
Jane: His girlfriendís company.
Rex: My girlfriendís company.
Adriana: Oh, my --
Rex: With Tate as a spokesperson, the aids fundraising donations would double.
Jane: Well, you have a big crowd already.
Rex: Well, it can never be big enough. So anyone in Llanview who is gay, or -- or has gay friends, needs to come down here and support this worthy cause.
Jane: So you think if Tate were to confess his sexual orientation, more people would come?
Jane: And his claim to be in love with Adriana --
Rex: I -- itís a cover. I told you, sheís with me.
Jane: Well, how did you learn that Tate was gay?
Rex: Someone who was once close to him told me.
Jane: Who is that?
Rex: I canít reveal my source.
Jane: Of course you canít.
Rex: Trust me, itís rock solid.
Jane: More on this breaking story later. This is Jane Mc Laughlin for News 7.
Jane: Next time, a little warning would be nice.
Rex: Yeah, you did great.
Jane: Off the record -- why'd you out him?
Rex: He likes a public spectacle. I gave him one.
Jane: Hmm. Ok.
Roxy: You sure that was such a good idea?
Rex: You're not?
Roxy: People who get bitten bite back. You'd better watch yourself.
Rex: Nothing I canít handle.
Layla: Itís me. Are you watching?
Layla: Oh, my God. Why did Rex do that?
Adriana: I have no idea. But I'm going to ultra violet to find out.
Layla: I'll meet you there.
Cole: See? I'm fine.
Marty: I know.
Starr: How did you lose dad?
Blair: Well, your father found the adoption agency that took in his son, the one that he had with Margaret.
Starr: Is the baby alive?
Blair: I donít know. And legally the adoption agency wonít be able to give us any information on that.
Starr: Well, that never stopped dad before. You know what? May-- maybe heís hiding from the police.
Blair: I think he got a phone call -- a lead about his son.
Starr: And he just left without you?
Blair: Well, I was asleep, and then when I woke up, he was gone. I guess thatís when he got the call.
Miles: I'm sorry to interrupt.
Blair: What is it, Miles?
Miles: Well, Marty told me that Todd was missing. I just wanted to offer my help.
Blair: You're the reason he went to Chicago.
Miles: I -- I was -- I just gave him the numbers that -- that Spencer gave me. I didnít know what they meant.
Blair: "The numbers?" "The numbers"? You knew how Spencer felt about Todd. You knew those numbers were -- were bad news. Itís your fault if something has happened to Todd!
Roxy: Did I raise you to hate gays?
Rex: You didnít raise me.
Roxy: Well, I did, you wouldnít hate anyone, except for lousy tippers.
Rex: I donít hate gays.
Roxy: Oh, only Tate Harmon.
Rex: He canít use my girlfriend to cover his homosexuality.
Roxy: So you're trying to get even with him by outing him on -- on television?
Rex: I was promoting my fundraiser.
Roxy: You know, itís a little late for that. I mean, the event is half done.
Rex: Thereís nothing wrong with being gay.
Roxy: Yeah, well, thereís something wrong with you. You have no common sense. Heís a famous jock, and heís promoting your girlfriendís undie company. You make me so ashamed.
Rex: I was just being honest.
Roxy: Well, why donít you try being a little honest with yourself? You're pissed at him because heís a stud making a move on your girlfriend. You're doing everything you can to ruin him.
Rex: No, he was using Adriana.
Roxy: Does Adriana have a say in this?
Rex: No, sheís too nice to stand up for herself.
Roxy: Thatís not the Adriana that I know.
Rex: Ok, I'm an idiot. I -- I should have let the gay man paw at my girlfriend to protect his masculinity.
Roxy: Let me get this straight. His wife said that he was gay?
Rex: His wife --
Rex: And --
Tate: Are you out of your damn mind?
Roxy: Hey! Stop!
Rex: This is a turn-on for you, beating up straight guys?
Tate: Maybe you wonít have a such smart mouth with a few less teeth, huh?
Adriana: No --
Rex: Ah --
Tate: You're not even worth it.
Adriana: Thatís for sure.
Rex: Whoa -- whose side are you on?
Blair: You gave that letter to Todd. You set him up.
Miles: No, I --
Blair: Thatís what you did. You had this crazy idea that maybe -- maybe Spencer faked his death -- you know, to finally get back at Todd --
Starr: Mom -- mom -- please calm down.
Blair: Starr, just listen to me. This man gave your father the clue that sent him to Chicago, yeah.
Miles: I -- listen, I didnít know. Spencer gave it to me, and I didnít know --
Blair: Oh, you didnít know?
Blair: You're acting all innocent and everything. You're Mitch Laurenceís brother through and through.
Miles: This is not an act.
Marty: Blair, this is not the time.
Blair: Stay out of it! Spencer gave miles the gun, and miles pulled the trigger.
Starr: Mom, please --
John: Blair --
Blair: What, you pretended to like me, so I'd trust you and maybe think that you could do no wrong?
Miles: I did nothing wrong.
Blair: Well, you know what? You tell that to the judge. What did you do to Todd? I want to know what you did to Todd!
John: All right, Blair, unless you have some proof, stop right now.
Blair: Toddís missing, John. How much more proof do you need?
John: All right, I'm only going to ask you once. Did you give manning the address of that tenement?
Miles: No, no, of course not.
Blair: No, he -- he did. Will you check his phone records? Just check his phone records!
Starr: Mom, just took off without you.
Blair: Oh, now, thatís just great, Starr. Why donít we just let this man get away with murder?
Starr: No, dadís not dead. I would be able to feel that.
Blair: You did this.
Miles: No, I didnít.
Blair: Yes, you did! You sent Todd to an abandoned -- an abandoned place, didnít you? Didnít you? Thatís what you did!
Starr: No, maybe dad didnít go there, mom. Letís just calm down.
Blair: He was there, Starr!
John: Blair, not now.
Blair: He was there! There was blood on the floor! I saw it!
Starr: What? How did you know that it was -- that it was his?
Blair: Because the police tested it, sweetie.
Starr: No, no. No, not again. Not again.
Marty: Blair, I know you are distraught, but Miles is being honest with you.
Blair: Oh, there you go. Sheís defending another psychopath. That is just so up your alley, isnít it?
Marty: I'm not going to do this with you, Blair.
Marty: Not today.
Blair: What? Go ahead. I can take it.
Marty: You are distraught. Just donít take it out on miles.
Blair: You stay out this!
Cristian: Antonio, what are you thinking, letting Nash see Jessica?
Antonio: Itís the right thing to do, Cris.
Cristian: The right thing to do is to call security right now and get them to kick him out.
Antonio: Heís in love with her. Heís not going to hurt her.
Cristian: Yeah, you hope heís not going to hurt her.
Antonio: Jess may have passed the hepatitis to the baby.
Cristian: Wow. Wait a minute. You know this for sure?
Antonio: They're testing her now. Nash has a right to talk to Jessica about their daughter.
Cristian: Right. If thatís all they're talking about.
Antonio: Well, Jess will keep him on track.
Cristian: Antonio, this is Nash. And heís not going to stop until he gets her to say that she loves him. And itís probably happening right now, I guarantee you.
Antonio: How do you know that? Damn it, Cris, what arenít you telling me?
Nash: Donít you want to be with me and Bree, together as a family, the way we were meant to be?
Jessica: Of course I do.
Nash: You havenít changed your mind?
Jessica: No. No, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Nash: But --
Jessica: I have to tell Antonio and my family.
Nash: About us.
Jessica: No. First I have to tell them how I got this disease.
John: Look at your daughter and tell me you want this to continue.
Blair: You're right. Starr, I'm sorry.
Starr: Could you just take me home now, please?
Blair: You still know more than you're saying.
Miles: I swear, I donít.
Blair: Oh, yeah. Well, like I should take the word of a Laurence?
Marty: Blair, just go home before you say something you'll regret. Starr and jack need you.
Blair: They need their father.
John: Yeah. And we will find him, all right? Itís been a tough day. Donít make it any worse.
Nash: Listen to me. You donít have to tell anyone how you got Hepatitis.
Jessica: Donít you want to know?
Nash: No. I donít. I just want you to get better.
Jessica: I told you Hepatitis C is not curable.
Nash: They will treat it.
Jessica: Manage it.
Jessica: But I'm always going to worry.
Nash: You'll let me worry for you.
Jessica: Thatís too easy, Nash. Our daughter might already be at risk, and I just want to be there for her.
Nash: You will be.
Jessica: What if I canít?
Nash: But you will be.
Jessica: We have to be realistic, Nash. We have to talk about our daughterís future.
Cristian: You know Nash as well as I do.
Antonio: Better than you.
Cristian: In any case, the guy is --
Antonio: Look, Cris, he knows sheís sick. He wonít upset her.
Cristian: Yeah, but if he thinks that she loves him back --
Antonio: Well, why would he think that?
Cristian: Well, because sheís weak right now, you know? She could be easily influenced.
Antonio: Look, before Jessica collapsed, we talked about why she wouldnít adopt Jamie.
Cristian: Listen, Antonio --
Antonio: Look, I am -- I am so frustrated with this whole situation. You have no idea, man. I donít even know how to act sometimes. I feel like my back is up against the wall. It doesnít matter what I say or do -- nothing seems to work. All I know is that I love that woman in there. And I canít lose her.
Rex: Tate snowed you with lies.
Adriana: Tate didnít do anything. Your jealousy is so out of control that you lied on TV to humiliate him!
Rex: Ok, how do you know itís a lie?
Adriana: Because I know Tate.
Layla: And even if it were true -- and I'm not saying it is -- why would you do this?
Tate: Itís not true.
Adriana: I will back you up with the media.
Tate: No, I can handle them, but that doesnít mean that you get a free pass.
Rex: Well, deny all you want. But all these people are snapping pictures of you on their cell phones. You're news. And like you said, thereís no such thing as bad publicity.
Adriana: Who are you?
Tate: He wants me gone. If I'm gay, that means that my interest in you isnít real.
Rex: For the zillionth time, itís no lie.
Adriana: Who told you Tate was gay?
Rex: Someone who really knew him well.
Adriana: Did you pay this person?
Adriana: Well, I'm just saying, it wouldnít be the first time you paid for the truth you wanted.
Rex: Adriana, I'm --
Adriana: I'm just saying, for the right price, anyone will say anything, right?
Rex: The ex-Mrs. Tate Harmon didnít want my money. Her grounds for divorce were fraud after she learned her husband played for the other team.
Adriana: You were married?
Langston: You're my best friend, Starr. I knew you were in the car with Henry, and I knew he was acting all crazy. I was standing outside talking to the police with Ms. McBain, and I could see the car. And I thought everything was going to be ok. And I saw you all inside, and you seemed fine. And then Henry started driving all crazy in the car. When it crashed, I thought you were dead. And I donít know what I would have done if it had been true.
John: Hey, look, if -- if I hear anything from the Chicago P.D. about Todd --
Blair: Will you call me?
John: I'll call you.
Blair: Thank you so much, John.
John: You're welcome.
Starr: Mom --
Blair: Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I blew up, and it wonít happen again, all right?
Starr: I just want to go home.
Blair: I know. So do I. Langston, you all right, honey?
Langston: I'm fine. I -- I'm just -- I still canít believe it about Henry. I guess you just donít expect someone your own age to die, you know?
Starr: Itís so weird. I mean, I knew that he was crazy because of the drugs, but he was alive one minute, and then the next he wasnít.
Blair: Well, itís a really tough lesson for the two of you to learn at your age.
Langston: I know. I'm not saying itís right for anybody to die that way, but Henry was just so --
Langston: Yeah. He wouldnít even hurt a flea.
Starr: Except for today.
Rex: Guess the ex-wife never came up when you pretended to hit on my girlfriend.
Adriana: Is Rex making this up?
Rex: Sheís real, Adriana. I met her.
Tate: You got nothing better to do than dig up my past?
Rex: Wait -- nope.
Adriana: Why didnít you ever mention you were married?
Tate: It was a long time ago, and itís not important.
Adriana: Marriage is pretty important, and you hid it from me.
Tate: Adriana, it wasnít exactly a big secret.
Adriana: Well, what was all that crap about never being in love?
Tate: I mean, itís -- itís true. When -- when I got married, I was young. I was just coming up in the minors, and --
Rex: You married impulsively, realized it was a mistake, and ended it. Wrong, wrong. Your sex-starved wife did.
Layla: Whatís the fraud thing about?
Tate: She definitely didnít divorce me because I'm gay.
Adriana: Then why did she?
Tate: Who cares? The rumorís out there because of your boyfriend, and now I have to spend the rest of my life denying it.
Rex: You donít have to deny anything.
Tate: Oh, sure, Rex. Women are going to be lining up to buy exposed underwear modeled by a gay man.
Adriana: You turned our ad campaign into a joke.
Layla: Everybodyís going to think macho Tate is a softy.
Rex: Hey, you can be macho and gay.
Roxy: Yeah, like the village people.
Adriana: You know what? Donít even try to defend yourself. You ended a manís career.
Tate: Not to mention your girlfriendís.
Rex: Ok, you're both overreacting.
Adriana: You donít get it. I donít think you ever will.
Rex: We're not done.
Tate: How good are you at spin control?
Nash: There is no life without you.
Jessica: Nash --
Nash: Hey, you listen to me. You're going to live for a long, long time.
Jessica: But not the way I used to.
Nash: Thatís ok. Itís ok. We'll make some adjustments.
Jessica: But, Nash, we have to talk about the future in case something does happen.
Nash: Nothing is going to happen to you.
Jessica: Grow up. If you want to share this life with me, you have to share in making these decisions.
Nash: But we're not sharing a life yet, so I'm off the hook.
Jessica: No. We share a daughter together, and we have to talk about her future together.
Nash: Jess -- you're a toughie, huh?
Jessica: Oh -- donít do that.
Nash: Do what?
Jessica: Joke to avoid the issue.
Nash: Jess --
Jessica: No, go away.
Nash: You donít want me to do that.
Jessica: No. I'm tired of people coming in here with their phony smiles and fear behind their eyes. I'm tired of everybody telling me that I'm going to be ok. Because maybe I will and maybe I wonít. I'm the only one living in my skin, and I have to make these decisions for me and Bree while I still can, so you can either help me, or you can get the hell out.
Nash: Nah, I tried that. I didnít like it. You donít want me to do that.
Jessica: Huh. I know. Last time, you barely made it past the city limits.
Nash: See? I told you, I didnít like it. Not doing it.
Jessica: Are you going to be serious?
Nash: Only when unavoidable.
Nash: Huh. Right, itís unavoidable. If -- if something does happen to you, do you want Antonio to stay a part of Brennanís life?
Cristian: Antonio, you're not going to lose her.
Antonio: I already have. You donít seem surprised.
Cristian: Well, she refused to adopt Jamie, so you know, we knew something was up.
Antonio: She hasnít been the same for a long time. Ever since the integration, itís --
Cristian: Sheís more like Tess?
Antonio: Yeah. And you know, sometimes, itís -- it was fun. You know, other times --
Antonio: Only because sheís not the person I fell in love with.
Cristian: But you married her, anyway.
Antonio: But, you know, I loved her. And I still do. And I thought we would figure things out.
Cristian: Yeah, but it doesnít look like thatís happened.
Antonio: This type of hepatitis -- do you know how itís contracted?
Cristian: Yeah. Needles, drug use.
Antonio: You know, I -- I thought Tess was gone. And -- and now sheís come back to haunt me.
Nash: Antonio, would you mind stepping inside for a moment? Jessica and I have something we'd like to discuss with you.
Bo: I know what you two have been through today. And if thereís anything I can do --
Marty: Thanks, Bo. I'll let you know.
Blair: One stupid mistake, and a young life is gone. He could have taken our children with him.
Marty: And his poor parents. Itís a phone call I never want to get.
Blair: Come on, baby, let me get you home. Langston --
Blair: Do you want us to give you a ride?
Langston: Yeah, actually, thanks. I donít want to walk by the wreck.
Blair: All right. Listen, if anyone asks you two anything out there --
Langston: I know. No comment.
Blair: Right. You want to grab your stuff?
John: Ok, I got a couple units keeping a lid on the feeding frenzy outside.
Bo: Well, I'm sending all the kids out the back through the loading dock.
John: Good call.
Marty: Actually, I came in with -- with you, so --
John: Yeah. You know what? Things are -- things are under control right now. I'll -- I'll take you home.
Miles: Well, I'm heading that way, so my offer still stands.
Marty: You know, thanks, miles, but we're going to go ahead and go home with John.
John: Come on, letís go. Carol, are you there?
Marty: Is anyone hungry? You know, I can heat up some pizza.
Cole: No, thanks.
John: I'm good.
Marty: Oh, itís not -- itís not a problem.
Cole: Mom, itís all right. I mean, come on. Ms. Cramer almost chewed your head off back there.
Marty: Well, you know, between what happened today and what sheís been going through with Todd, who can blame her?
Cole: Mom, you canít let her off the hook. Ms. Cramerís nuts.
Marty: Sheís -- sheís a little emotional.
John: Sheís having a tough time right now.
Blair: Are you ok?
Starr: Yeah. I'm -- I'm just -- I'm just checking on you.
Blair: I'm fine. Is your brother asleep already?
Starr: Will you tell him about dad?
Starr: Maybe you'll find him before then.
Blair: Thatís the plan. How are you holding up, really?
Starr: I'm ok.
Blair: You know, I've been studying teenage-ese.
Starr: Oh, God.
Blair: Yeah, well -- and I know when you say "I'm ok," you're really not.
Starr: Yeah, well, your meltdown didnít really help.
Blair: I'm so sorry about that.
Starr: You know, I've been studying mom-ese, too.
Blair: Oh, God.
Starr: And I know that you werenít really angry at Dr. Saybrooke.
Blair: I was angry at miles.
Starr: No. You werenít angry at miles, either. You were -- you were just worried about dad.
Blair: He'll show up. He always does.
Starr: No, mom -- look, you -- you can be scared in front of me.
Blair: Thank you for giving me permission.
Starr: If -- if you are, I'll be scared in front of you.
Starr: Can I sleep here with you tonight?
Blair: You bet. You -- come here, big girl.
Blair: You know, sweetie, if -- if I have to go to Chicago for a while to look for your dad, you going to be ok without me?
Starr: Just get home safe, ok? Just be careful.
Blair: I will.
Starr: And make sure that the both of you come back.
Marty: Your dad would have been very proud of what you did today.
Cole: Yeah, I thought about him the whole time. I wondered what he would do.
Marty: Exactly what you did.
Cole: Do you ever do that, John? You know, think about what your dad would have done?
John: Yeah. All the time, Cole.
Cole: That was scary. You ever feel like that?
John: More often than I care to admit.
Marty: Yeah. If I lose you, I lose everything.
Cole: Me, too.
Cristian: ĎTonio, mas tarde, eh?
Antonio: Si. Esta bien. How are you doing?
Jessica: Well, I'll be better once I get this over with. Itís about Bree.
Antonio: Are the tests back? Does she have --
Jessica: No, no. I mean, we donít know yet. This is about her future, in case something happens to me.
Antonio: What did you decide?
Jessica: Well, we decided that if this disease takes me away from her, we still want you to be a part of Breeís life.
Antonio: Thank you. Ok, but nothingís going to happen to you.
Nash: Donít go there. Tried it. Failed.
Jessica: Um -- I'm going to fight this. This is -- we just have to talk about the worst-case scenario, Antonio.
Nash: If Bree tests positive --
Antonio: She wonít.
Jessica: Well, if she does, sheís going to need both her dads.
Antonio: Well, I'm not going anywhere.
Jessica: Thank you.
Antonio: Look, you'll both be ok. Now, itís time you get some rest.
Jessica: Hmm. You think I look tired or something?
Antonio: No, but you actually look really beautiful. Ok? But if you're going to beat this thing, you need to get some sleep.
Nash: Ok -- um -- we'll -- we'll talk more tomorrow.
Jessica: Thank you for letting Nash visit.
Antonio: Well, it seems like you guys had some really important stuff to talk about.
Jessica: We did.
Antonio: Breeís going to be fine.
Jessica: You canít promise me that.
Antonio: Sheís a happy, healthy little girl. If there was something wrong with her, we would know.
Jessica: Well, I thought I was fine, too. And if sheís sick --
Antonio: Sheís not --
Jessica: How am I going to live with myself?
Antonio: We will get through this. Together.
Layla: Let me buy you a drink.
Tate: No, you know what? A drink is not going to take this bad taste out of my mouth. I could kill him.
Layla: Well, if itís any consolation, Adrianaís probably doing that right now.
Rex: If you'll just listen to me, I think that --
Adriana: Too late!
Rex: Adriana, let me explain --
Adriana: Get out!
Rex: Letís just talk about this like normal --
Adriana: Oh, what about before you outed him? Did you lose my phone number?
Rex: You would have tried to stop me.
Adriana: Yeah, I would have.
Rex: Heís a phony.
Adriana: You're jealous.
Rex: Should I be?
Adriana: I am not interested in Tate. And right now I'm not interested in you, either.
Rex: Adriana, just calm --
Adriana: I'm going to bed. And right now my bedroom is off-limits to you.
Rex: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa -- can we talk about this rationally?
Adriana: What was rational about what you did?
Rex: It was the truth.
Adriana: Even if it was, you hurt someone that didnít deserve it! Tateís sexuality is his own private business.
Rex: Why are you still protecting him?
Adriana: Because someone has to. Is was low, Rex. Even for you.
On the next "One Life to Live" --
Cole: I was thinking a lot about you last night.
Starr: I was thinking a lot about you, too.
Paula: He is straight.
Rex: Prove it.
Tate: Excuse me?
Jessica: Are Breeís test results in?
Nash: Does my daughter have Hepatitis C or not?
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